Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Alrighty everybody. Welcome back to another small mini episode of the Human podcast.
[00:00:07] The wife is feeling sick and it is also our anniversary. So there's, I'm just trying to, you know, take care of her. She's been like, not to, like feeling good at all right now she's, you know, taking a nap on the couch.
[00:00:25] But yeah, and it is our nine year anniversary. We've been married for almost a decade.
[00:00:34] So yeah, it, it's been, you know, it's been good.
[00:00:43] But you know, not to, you know, give you nothing, I mean, I, I don't want to just, you know, pick, hey, here, high and dry, whatever.
[00:00:52] So I'm gonna do, you know, a couple little advice things and then get on out of here.
[00:01:01] Yeah. And then tomorrow is the big memorial for my friend Shelby and Emma and Durango and it's gonna be at the bar. We're gonna be doing karaoke and comedy, you know, telling jokes, telling stories, you know, doing all that stuff, you know, trying not to cry and probably crying anyway, it's fine.
[00:01:35] But yeah, and then this week I'm gonna take off. I'm just gonna relax.
[00:01:42] It's been, it's sometimes rough working six days a week every week.
[00:01:47] But yeah, let's just jump right into some advice stories.
[00:01:53] This one by significant syrup 9927.
[00:01:57] How do I tell a grown woman she stinks without coming off rude?
[00:02:04] I have an employee who has horrible hygiene. It's not just a body odor scent like you forgot to put on deodorant. She smells like straight booty.
[00:02:15] It's like she's never brushed her teeth, never washed her work uniform. Now it's never washed her ass within a few feet. The odor smacks you in the face. I had a co worker like that at Walmart.
[00:02:28] It's not just me who notices. I have other employees who have pointed this out and I need to tell her she needs to work on her hygiene. I just. But I don't understand how someone isn't conscious of this type of thing.
[00:02:41] It's a here and there thing. I wouldn't say anything, but it's every single day she comes to work and it's quite hard to even be in a room with her because it's so awful being the boss. I have to confront her, but I've never had this issue with an employee before. I don't know how to navigate. How do I tell this grown woman she stinks and needs to work on her hygiene without hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable?
[00:03:05] Well, op, it is an uncomfortable subject to broach.
[00:03:09] You know, just sometimes you have to rip the band aid off and, you know, sometimes you don't know, like their whole, you know, home situation. So just, you know, call them in for meeting and be like, hey, is everything going, you know, okay at home? You know, what, like, what if, you know, your employee is homeless and doesn't actually have a place to, you know, go and shower?
[00:03:36] You know, what, what if she's having mental issues or something like that? You know, kind of like, you know, dig in a little bit and just be like, hey, we've had some complaints about, you know, hygiene and just, you know, you kind of have to be a little bit blunt with it.
[00:03:59] Boom. Hit him in the face.
[00:04:02] And then it works.
[00:04:06] Like my old co worker, you know, he smelled like poo every time you walked past him.
[00:04:15] Just like a cloud of like, shit, just like everywhere.
[00:04:21] And like, you know, we all complained enough and then just one day he came in, showered, just, boom, flip switched and never stink again.
[00:04:36] And I'm like, yeah, sometimes. Sometimes you have to, like, you know, be the good friend and, you know, tell someone what's wrong because no one else will, you know, tell them because everyone else wants to be polite, everyone wants to be nice.
[00:04:52] You know, sometimes smack them in the face and, well, don't physically smack him in the face, but, you know, hit him with reality and just be okay. The reality is you stink.
[00:05:07] You know, your hygiene is bad.
[00:05:12] You know, if, you know, you need, like, if you don't have like a place to shower or, you know, sometimes there's a hoarder situation. Like you're employee could be a huge hoarder, like you see on tlc. And they don't have a running shower or any place to wash their clothes.
[00:05:29] And it just, you know, piles up and they don't even smell it anymore. They go nose blind.
[00:05:36] So, you know, I. I would say go in and find out what's happening and, you know, go from there. And if everything is, you know, okay, you know, and they just refuse to shower, you know, sometimes you have to just cut your losses.
[00:05:54] It's better to, you know, cut one than have everyone else leave because you have a stinky woman.
[00:06:02] It's like the teacher and big daddy. It's like, oh, your boy is a stinky boy. I've had smelly ones before, but yours is the smelliest.
[00:06:10] And then you took him and gave him a bath.
[00:06:13] You know, it works. Let's see what the comments say.
[00:06:16] I once had a classmate who had awful bo.
[00:06:20] She was also morbidly obese, had poor grades and was held back once in elementary school.
[00:06:26] Some kids bullied her relentlessly. Oh, poor girl.
[00:06:31] Later was learned she was living with a single mom and they did not have running water in the home. That's exactly the I'm talking about.
[00:06:39] Not sure why it took so long, but she started 8th grade and things turned around. 180 degrees.
[00:06:46] She lost a ton of weight over the summer, got a new haircut. The BO was gone except perfume took over and that was resolved quickly. Her grades got a lot better.
[00:07:01] Turned out someone got it to a doctor. Improvements are made to the home and a bunch of other stuff. I had no idea. That's exactly it.
[00:07:11] She graduated high school with honors and was voted most likely to succeed and pursued a career in law enforcement and security. I still remember her saying that her career goal was to help people.
[00:07:25] And sometimes that's all it takes.
[00:07:27] Someone to just come in and just be like, hey, you know, do you need a place to, you know, come, you know, wash your clothes? A place to, you know, shower and brush your teeth and you know, get you some, you know, desperate help that you need and boom, you know, you can make it, you know, an actual change in someone's life. But a lot of people don't want to, you know, step in and you know, get involved.
[00:07:52] Like if you see like a mangy dog on the side of the road, you could go out and save it and have it live with you and have a loving dog for the rest of its life. But you know, that that's, you know, whole thing that you have to do. So yeah, sometimes you, and you know, if you are a opie, if you're a dude, have a woman in the room with you, you know, like someone that's like not gossipy but you know, that way she can't be like, oh, he did this or yeah, it just, you know, you already know.
[00:08:33] Next advice by darkmoon115 I am being harassed by a special needs co worker.
[00:08:45] Oh, I'm an 18 year old guy who is who as of this August started working at a local movie theater in my hometown.
[00:08:56] When I first got my job, I explained to my employer that I'd only be able to work night shifts due to my college classes taking place during the weekdays. They assured me that this was fine, but told me I'd be working almost exclusively with the special needs co workers since she can only work night shifts, which I was completely fine with. I've been around with a lot of special needs people in my life. And I've never had a problem communicating or understanding them.
[00:09:27] But when I started my first day, the manager on staff told me that the girl I was working with could be a little touchy.
[00:09:36] And that's fine. You know, like, you know, people that, you know, have down syndrome, autism, whatever, never bothered me.
[00:09:46] Since she had trouble understanding social cues at first, that that's all she would do is.
[00:09:58] At first, that's all she would do is like, grab my shoulder or wrist to lead me somewhere. She wanted to show me something I was completely fine with because it didn't cross any boundaries. But recently that's changed. Oh, hopefully she's gonna grab your dick or something.
[00:10:13] Now she does something that makes me feel really uncomfortable where she wraps both of her arms around my arm, almost like a bear hug, and squeezes, which causes my arm to squeeze against her chest.
[00:10:26] And she'll also hug me periodically through the day and try and tickle me. And she's comfortable with you.
[00:10:34] She trusts you, which is good. I am someone who really doesn't like physical touch, so all of this makes me uncomfortable. And I started talking to her and explaining that this behavior made me very uncomfortable, which then she acknowledged and agreed to stop. Within a week, she started doing it again.
[00:10:59] Sometimes you have to, like, replace the behavior.
[00:11:01] Like, if you don't like hugs, like, do, like, high fives or, you know, do silly dancers, something like that, you know, you can't just say no. You have to replace it with something else.
[00:11:15] At which I decided to go to my explorers and explain the situation. They made the classic BS excuse of she special needs and doesn't know what she's doing and doesn't understand the implications of it.
[00:11:29] First of all, I don't believe she's seems like a very capable individual other than the fact that she might have a bit of autism.
[00:11:37] And secondly, that doesn't justify what's happening to me. And I understand the sensitive situation. I'm trying my best to handle it with care. But the bottom line is I'm being touched unconsensually and it's starting to make me very uncomfortable. And any advice would be greatly appreciated.
[00:11:57] Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. You know, if, like, the genders were reversed, if, you know, you were a girl and he was, you know, special needs guy.
[00:12:07] Yeah. Be squashed quickly.
[00:12:13] Yeah. I mean, like, the best thing to do is, you know, replace, you know, that thing, you know, and just like, don't, don't like, sit there and start screaming or Nothing. Because that. That doesn't solve nothing, but just be okay. You know, we. We can, like, you know, have like, one hug after work or, you know, like, make concessions to, you know, make it be like, okay, yeah, we can do that.
[00:12:45] But sometimes, like, you know, people with autism, you know, were kind of loners growing up and didn't have a whole lot of friends and anybody that, you know, is willing to hang out, you know, even at work, you know, like, oh, yeah, you know, we're. We're besties, you know, and. And that. That's just, you know, what it is.
[00:13:15] Yeah. This a little bit, you know, more difficult. But let's see what the comments say.
[00:13:22] I helped a friend in an almost identical situation. For starters. No, thank you. I'm only doing high five, stay hilarious.
[00:13:29] And gave her a bunch of them. Kind of like a maneuver into something else fun and still friendly.
[00:13:36] Speak with management. Say you appreciate the kindness, but you need to help. You need them to help. Echo the idea that you don't like hugs and they make you feel uncomfortable.
[00:13:45] If the boss is saying this too, it might hit closer to home. Talk to the boss and say you don't want hugs and other forms of physical affection and keep escalating.
[00:13:58] To keep escalating. Something worse.
[00:14:01] Express willingness to help fix the problem and work with this employee's behaviors. Your boss hopefully will read between the lines.
[00:14:09] Yeah.
[00:14:18] Yep. You know, people are saying if the gender is reversed.
[00:14:26] Yeah. I mean, some people just don't understand social cues. And, you know, that that's.
[00:14:30] That's one thing you don't. You also don't say how old this co worker is, but you are 18, so I'm assuming that the co worker is also young.
[00:14:44] So you never know what level of autism someone has. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve to work. And some of them are really good workers.
[00:14:57] So. Yeah, just.
[00:15:00] There's a lot of good advice all throughout the comments here, Op. So, you know, just kind of, you know, come up with a solution with all, you know, you, your boss, and your co worker.
[00:15:17] So.
[00:15:18] All right, let's go to the next one by poke. My friend doesn't want to pay me back. What do I do? You lost a friend for however much it cost you to give him money. You know, if you give money to a friend or a family member, it's gone. So I went out to, you know, friends the other night, and my friend suggested it'd be easier if one person paid for the drink, so.
[00:15:40] And everyone can send them the money. Later, somehow I was the only one paying for everyone's drinks. The night ends and I put on the gc, the group chat. However much everyone owes me, everyone paid me back. Except one. I left it until the next day, but he still hasn't paid me. Oh, she still hasn't paid me. I sent her a DM asking to send me the 31, but. But she left me on scent.
[00:16:10] I know she saw my DM because she's posting on her story and sending pictures of the night, but legit ignored me. I found that super rude and disrespectful. Now I know what kind of person she really is. I always find it weird asking for money and I hate doing it. Should I keep pressing her to pay me back? She blatantly ignored me and now my petty self wants my money back. Should I also tell my other friends about this situation so they know and tell her not to invite her anymore? Please help.
[00:16:43] Yeah, I mean if you want to be petty, you know, screenshot the chat to where you're like, hey, pay me back.
[00:16:52] Screenshot your Venmo and all that, showing that she hasn't paid you back that everyone else has and, and send that to the group chat. Send that to, you know, everyone but, you know, or if you really want to be petty, invite her out again and pay for everyone's drinks except for hers.
[00:17:18] And yeah, you can get real petty there. Oh man, you can just pick. Oh no. So yeah, you have a couple different options there, OP, but in all reality, 31 bucks.
[00:17:36] That there, you know, you lost a friend and it only cost you 31 bucks to find out that they're a shitty person, you know, that's fine.
[00:17:50] You know, like if you know, some of my friends need something, I just pay for it there.
[00:18:01] You know, you don't know the situation but you can either be petty, you can rise above, but, you know, fool me once, fool me twice type.
[00:18:16] Let's see what the comments say. You got rid of a shitty friend for 31. Considered a steal.
[00:18:22] Tracks with the expense variance over the years. $31 is actually a bargain.
[00:18:32] Yep, mine cost a thousand.
[00:18:36] I had an ex wife that cost me 15 years of my life and a few hundred grand. Still worth it.
[00:18:45] Yeah, I, yeah, mention it in the group chat, but not aggressive. Hey Sarah, just, just waiting on your $31 and we'll be all set for last week.
[00:19:02] Yes, that is the right there.
[00:19:10] But yeah, I've easily, you know, paid for more than that in drinks.
[00:19:17] Yeah, do something with the group chat and see what the group chat does. Social pressure is a good motivator.
[00:19:25] Hi, girl. Hi, guys. Drinks for 31 each. Here's what you know we are with payback so far. Mary, check mark. Bob, check mark. Claire, check mark. Princess Grifter X.
[00:19:37] Hilarious.
[00:19:43] Yeah, keep pressing. Get your other friends to chime in too, because she's ruining the group's trust.
[00:19:51] So, yeah, I mean, you can do it. You, you, you could. You can also just, you know, pretty much lay down and be like, that's fine.
[00:20:04] So, but that, that's it for this week. I'm just, you know, doing a little, you know, tiny, you know, snip it that. That way. You know, it's like, hey, yeah, he's still alive and we'll be back next week and yeah, everything should shake out in the end.
[00:20:33] Yeah.
[00:20:35] So until then, bye.
