Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: It's. Alrighty. Alrighty. Welcome, everybody, back to the Human Podcast, your favorite podcast of the moment.
This week was a fucking interesting week.
You know, we we did some hallucinogens, carved some pumpkins, and my wife just, you know, let out her, murder her aside and just stabbed the pumpkin.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: It was so much fun.
[00:00:29] Speaker A: Like, 700 million times.
Which to me, sitting across from her, carving a cat into a pumpkin, or at least trying. I got the mouth, kind of, and I just look over and I see her just stabbing the ever living shit out of this pumpkin.
But that is my wife.
[00:01:05] Speaker B: It was so much fun.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: I'm Alex Truck and Courtney is on the other side of the country.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: I carved a pumpkin.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: You stabbed a pumpkin?
[00:01:18] Speaker B: Carved, stab, you can consider them the.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: Same verb, but yes, it is our little thing that we do every October.
[00:01:27] Speaker C: I really want to go to the pumpkin patch this year.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: You should.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: And I'll get my plugs out of the way just at the beginning. Follow me. Instagram.
Really instagram. Alexatruck, if you want to see me here in the Springs every Sunday at 05:00, I host open mic at the Funny Pages, 506 West Colorado Avenue, free parking in the back, and every Friday at Salador Bus downtown.
And every Monday over in Durango. Fuck. What is that place? Starlight Lounge. I haven't been there in two weeks because I've been on fucking vacation.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Wait, really?
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:02:23] Speaker C: I didn't even know you were on vacation.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I was on vacation, like, hardcore.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: And then you moved back to the real world for two miserable days.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Three miserable days. And now I have to go back hardcore again. Hardcore Parkour.
And there's part of me that still just wants to take at least that Friday off in November.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: You should do what you want.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: Yeah, there's nothing really stopping me from doing it. No one has a day off.
And I think that's our anniversary anyway.
Is it?
[00:03:07] Speaker B: It's some day of the week. I thought it was on a Thursday, but I could be wrong.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Now I have to fucking look.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Oh, I'm going to be wrong and I know it.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it is on a Thursday. Holy shit.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: Whoop.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Whoop.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I impressed even myself.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: But here's the thing. I can easily come home that Thursday early and boom, anniversary day.
[00:03:37] Speaker B: I could probably even be able to switch my shifts out. So I'm off that Friday too.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: But yeah, that's all the places that I am. All over the place.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: Okay, I have a plug, but it's not my own.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: What's your plug?
[00:03:55] Speaker B: So there's a cat I met at my clinic on Tuesday and her Instagram is Senorita Whiskers. So check her out. She's adorable.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: Senorita whiskers on instagram.
[00:04:07] Speaker B: She's freaking cute.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Go follow that one. It's a whole lot better than my page.
I keep on like I'm going to fucking put my shit up and I.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Just never know you don't have time.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I technically do.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: But you don't.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: I do and I don't.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: We're working class millennials.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: I could literally go bring my tablet or my laptop to fucking comedy, plug it in, get it all done, upload.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: It but then you're not having fun at comedy.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Oh, no, I do that in my hotel room.
But hallucinogen week.
And let's just get right into the fucking stories because I don't think anything really else of fucking note crazy happened this week other than people being assholes on the road. It's about to fucking start. Snowing falls here.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Okay? Fall is not until September 23. We are still technically in summer.
[00:05:22] Speaker C: I thought summer ended already.
[00:05:23] Speaker A: Summer ended already. September was last month. September. October.
[00:05:28] Speaker C: It's October.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: It's October.
[00:05:30] Speaker A: It's October.
[00:05:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: Ten.
[00:05:32] Speaker C: That's why you freaking.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: I'm not going to lie. I really can't associate.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Did you not catch that little bit in my comedy routine yesterday or on Friday?
[00:05:47] Speaker B: My brain doesn't attach numbers to calendars.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: Where I'm like, it's fall. I mean, technically it was on September 23, but it's fall now because it's cold and I can get eggnog.
And I was making fun of you for not liking eggnog.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: Eggnog is gross.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: Yeah, you're awful.
But let's start off with some news.
There is a little girl, a little nine year old girl named Charlote Cena that vanished in New York.
And more than 100 people were looking for this little girl after she went riding her bike at a state park in New York. And she didn't come back after 15 minutes, and her parents freaked out because, okay, she's fucking gone.
And normally I'd say you're an insane fucking parent for that, but they were absolutely right.
She did get fucking kidnapped.
And fortunately, criminals are dumb.
And the criminal that fucking left a ransom note in the family's mailbox left his fingerprints on the ransom note.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: Thank God for forensics.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: 46 year old Craig N. Ross Jr.
Allegedly left a ransom note at the Charlote's parents house before dawn on Monday.
And the fingerprints on that note have led to his arrest.
[00:07:28] Speaker B: People are really this stupid?
[00:07:30] Speaker A: Yeah, of course.
[00:07:31] Speaker B: What the fuck?
[00:07:34] Speaker A: It's like, what do you think you're going to get for a child?
But Charlote is alive and well and doing good.
Good for her.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: Why don't children have microchips?
[00:08:01] Speaker A: Why would you need here's the thing. If you're going to have a kid, keep an eye on it.
We have cats. We have three cats. We keep them inside the house.
They are inside cats. Look at goose inside cat. Look at Chai Tea chair. Cat.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: I feel like children should be microchipped.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: I mean, they carry cell phones now everywhere they go.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: It's not the same as an air tag, though.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: You can put an air tag in a child's shoe.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: They have microchips that tell the patient's temperature. If you scan it now, they're cool as fuck.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, here's the thing fucking all technology nowadays it's getting cooler and cooler every fucking day.
And here in 100 years you're going to have microchips that are like subdermal. They get implanted as a baby. They're like silicone so your body doesn't reject them.
[00:09:08] Speaker B: I actually don't know what a microchip is made out of. I need to find out now.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Silicone you can put really whatever you want in it. Silicone, gold, get all that shit. As long as you don't have an allergy to gold, you're fine.
But the rest of this episode is filled with death and destruction.
Kaiser Permanente over 75,000 US healthcare workers go on strike.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: Thought Kaiser.
[00:09:38] Speaker A: Sorry Courtney. That's your state. I don't even think we have a Kaiser Permanente out here. We do do.
[00:09:44] Speaker C: We do.
Why don't you guys like Kaiser?
[00:09:49] Speaker B: Because I got fucked over bad. By mean you just don't know how.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: To freaking talk to them.
It would have been the same with any other company.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Well fuck Kaiser.
[00:10:06] Speaker B: It did not go well.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: And honestly I hope these workers get.
[00:10:13] Speaker B: Whatever the fuck they want strike for.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: I didn't actually read that far. Over 75,000 union workers at healthcare provider Kaiser permanente have gone on strike the three day work.
[00:10:28] Speaker C: And they want them to hire more people because they've been short stepped all the time.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Tough. You're making a shitload of money.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: It's not the way it used to be.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: No.
They really do need to hire more people.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:50] Speaker C: You don't want your doctors and nurses to be tired and make mistakes.
[00:10:54] Speaker B: Being understaffed every single day at work is exhausting.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: Here's the know the strike's greatest impact will be felled by California, Oregon, and Colorado and Washington state where hundreds of medical only for three days. Yeah. Go fuck yourself then if you're like. We're going to quit after three days.
Just get a different you don't want a different job.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: They want to work here and they want to feel good about themselves while they work there.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: You can work in a different hospital.
You can work in a private practice.
Here's the thing.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: Clinic hopping is never fun.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: What?
[00:11:36] Speaker B: Clinic hopping is never fun. It sucks to transplant tough.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: No, it sucks if you're making doctor money. I don't feel bad for you at all. Like the fucking writers strike the SAG and after strikes. I don't feel bad for these fucking people. We don't make a bunch of money. You don't do any fucking work.
You guys aren't fucking working. And nothing is fucking affected in my life whatsoever. I can go the rest of my life without a new TV show coming out without a new movie coming out ever again.
We have years and years and years and years of fucking movies already made. I don't have enough time in my life to watch them all.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: So then why do you care?
[00:12:32] Speaker A: I don't.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: You don't have to hate them if you don't.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: But you know they're sitting know striking know complaining. How about this? How about everyone in America go on strike?
How about we every fucking billionaire has to get rid of their fucking billions and fucking divvy it out. You can only have $100 million now. That's it.
If you have 100 million or more, you have to start fucking divvying that out to the fucking people.
And every time someone gets $50,000, they leave the strike and get back to work.
What?
[00:13:17] Speaker B: Oh, my god. Your opinion on the strike was like completely different, like two weeks ago. What's changed? What changed your mind on it?
[00:13:27] Speaker A: We already have a ton of movies. Netflix is still going to be a thing now.
[00:13:33] Speaker B: When did you stop caring about why they were on strike?
[00:13:36] Speaker C: Was also because of they weren't getting some of the revenue from streaming and that's why they took off. One of my favorite fucking documentaries on Disney.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Yeah, just go fucking pirate it. Go to Pirate Bay. Pirate that shit.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: I couldn't find it. Yeah, I thought it got shut down.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: No, it wildly still exists.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: What?
I thought it was like long gone and dead.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: No, Parabe still saying, god, that's old.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: That is so old to look at. Holy fuck.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: Yeah, you can browse torrent.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus Christ.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: Browse games all the way through now. Don't fucking download any torrents without fucking what?
[00:14:40] Speaker B: No, I'm just laughing at what you're.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: Going to say without using fucking protection.
The amount of fucking people that will just be like, all right, I'm just going to download a fucking torrent and get a fucking bit torrent downloaded and you're an idiot. Your fucking ISP is going to fucking send you a cease and desist and some scary fucking wording. And you're going to be kind of fucked.
[00:15:12] Speaker C: What do you need to do?
[00:15:14] Speaker A: Use a fucking VPN, a virtual private network that fucking encrypts all the data coming in. So your internet service provider cannot see what's coming into your computer.
But if you do it unencrypted straight to your computer.
Pretty much what happens is these companies tell your internet service provider that they're going to sue the Internet service provider if they don't stop you.
And then your ISP sues you.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: So is a VPN only for computers or is it for phones, too?
[00:15:55] Speaker A: You can have it for phone. You can have it for a game console. You can have it for whatever.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: She left so many bobby pins.
So many.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: I don't even know where her ears are.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Oh, I know where her ears are.
[00:16:13] Speaker A: Okay.
I'm going to bring them there on Monday.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: Let me see if she was even there last Monday. I'm going to be upset because we're talking about Shelby. Yeah, well, I mean, in Durango because she was there.
[00:16:37] Speaker C: So would you be upset if she wasn't there?
[00:16:42] Speaker A: No, I don't care.
There was just so many people there. Like, I got a picture of the list for my friend Connor, and he's ah, dude, you missed out on a great night. I'm like, I did? Fuck.
But here's the thing with strikes. Just get rid of them.
Give them what they fucking want, and make it to where CEOs lives are fucking miserable. Make it to where you can only make up to a certain percentage and you have like, an escrow account that the CEO cannot touch without meeting certain requirements. It's like, hey, escrow account. I want to fucking buy a new X ray machine for the hospital. And so they have to pretty much tell the company that they're buying the X ray machine from to contact Escrow. Escrow writes them a check and everything is done correctly. Instead of fucking CEOs just being like, yeah, I'm going to collect a bunch of money. If you have employees, I would say if you have over ten employees, you should beholden to these rules.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Corporate approved new equipment a month ago, and now they're turning around saying we can't get the new equipment.
[00:18:18] Speaker A: This is why corporations suck. This is why fucking people in suits are pieces of shit. This is why I want the world to go to fucking anarchy. Because these people in suits are going to be entirely fucking useless. Get their heads chopped off, and it's like, oh, guess what? Now you're finding out how fucking useless you actually are.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: And it's not even expenses. It's just some overhead surgical lights.
It's not even two grand.
God, they want to put that install.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: They want to put that two grand in their own pocket.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: But we've been the highest earning clinic in the last three months.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah, here's the thing. Fucking if everyone just stopped answering to corporate, the amount of buildings I see, especially going downtown Colorado Springs, these giant fucking 50 story fucking buildings just full of offices of people just sitting there every fucking day doing nothing, just collecting paychecks, collecting fucking money, taking advantage of fucking people.
Walmart is an awful fucking corporation. What they do is they go to other fucking people and it's like, hey, we'll fucking buy all your stock. But since we're buying all your stock, we want it at a better price.
And so they'll be like, okay, cool. I can cut you a deal for buying all my fucking stock. Like buying all my potatoes or all my bananas or all my milk.
And then they'll fucking start squeezing harder and harder. Oh, this is the second year we're renewing. We want an even better deal to the point where now they make fucking the farmers make no money.
They're like doing it at cost, essentially.
And it's like, just get rid of them.
Because the second the fucking revolution or the zombies or anything like that happens, anarchy, it's all gone. Fucking corporate america. It's like a fucking dandelion in the wind.
Gone. They have no fucking power. They have no real fucking power.
They're like, oh, we can send the cops after you. What in anarchy times.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: No, I just see them, like, cutting out, like, oil and shit, being, like, full stop, because they still have money. And money means power.
[00:21:04] Speaker A: No, not anarchy.
A gun to your fucking head means power.
If you go to a billionaire and put a gun to his head, he has no power. Zero. Zilch. Not a fucking thing. He can do. In every single zombie movie you've ever fucking seen, in every single apocalypse movie you've ever seen, money means nothing. If you have a Ferrari, means nothing.
You could have all the money in the entire world, means nothing.
If you want, like the movie The Purge, all the money in the world, zero.
That's why.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: My God.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: What?
[00:22:02] Speaker B: You give me shit all the time about how I want no money to exist in the world, and here you are proving that point.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: Well, here's the thing.
Money, like, right now, can get you a lot, but after the world ends, after it all goes to shit, it means nothing.
If a Superbug starts killing everybody indiscriminately.
[00:22:32] Speaker B: Which it did not do a good enough job of, that was a virus.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: I'm looking for bacteria to do that.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: I'm correlating with you.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: But if you see that and it just goes and just starts killing everybody indiscriminately, and it's like, hey, there's only, like, 1 million people left on the planet.
You can have whatever fucking house you want.
You could have ten houses if you want. You can just walk into them. They're your house now.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: What do you do with ten houses?
[00:23:11] Speaker A: No, you just win it's like, what the world?
[00:23:18] Speaker B: What do you want?
[00:23:20] Speaker A: What do you mean, what do I want?
[00:23:21] Speaker B: What do you want?
[00:23:22] Speaker A: What do you mean, what do I want?
[00:23:24] Speaker B: You've got the world, so what do you want from it?
[00:23:27] Speaker A: Nothing.
It's playing video games with cheats on. Okay? Imagine if you were playing The Sims and you gave yourself $10 billion.
You could have whatever the fuck you want. Now you don't want anything, because none of that fucking $10 billion means anything.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: Well, what do you want to do, then? Do you want to sit around and read books all the time? What would you do with yourself?
[00:23:57] Speaker A: If I had all the money in the world? Yeah.
[00:23:59] Speaker B: What would you do? Because if I had all the money in the world, I would still want to go to work.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: Currently, I'd go on fucking vacations.
If I had, like, elon musk money. If I had $100 billion, if I fucking went and bought a lotto ticket and won, like, a billion dollars off of a lotto ticket, I would go explore the world, fucking be a philanthropist, help people that fucking really need goddamn help.
[00:24:31] Speaker B: I'd go back to my work.
That's what my work does. I save lives. I don't care if I get paid, if I didn't have to get fucking paid for it because it's already set and lived, that'd be even better.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: Yeah, but you could have cats all twisted up.
[00:24:49] Speaker B: No.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: You could have your own clinic. That's free. Bring your cats here. We'll fucking fix them for free.
[00:24:57] Speaker B: I'm not opening a sanctuary.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Is that what that is?
[00:25:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Sanctuaries are it's a commitment. And there's a large unless you're very lucky, there is a large disparity of cash, and it's really difficult to get off the ground.
It is a lot.
[00:25:19] Speaker A: Yeah. But if you have a billion dollars, then that's not a lot.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: I'm not doing that. I'll pay someone else to hire it. I'm not going to fucking run that.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: But, yeah, there's people in the fucking world that could really use goddamn help.
There's people here in America that could really use some fucking help. There's people in America that $20 will make or break their entire fucking day.
[00:25:46] Speaker B: Hate that life.
[00:25:48] Speaker A: There was times where I worked at Walmart and I would have to get 50 cent honey buns because that's all I could afford for lunch.
Working at Walmart full fucking time.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: You still took me out to lunch.
[00:26:07] Speaker A: And it's like I had to have, like, three fucking roommates.
Walmart is not a good fucking place for anybody.
So I'd say, get rid of these corporations. Get rid of all this dumb bullshit. Fucking America needs to just go on strike and say, hey, we're not going to fucking work for you unless you make minimum wage $25 an hour.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: So you're okay with them going on.
[00:26:35] Speaker A: Strike for good fucking reasons.
[00:26:39] Speaker B: So what's a bad reason?
[00:26:42] Speaker A: I want more money.
If you make $100,000 a year and you're asking for more money, shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. You don't need more money than that's. But the amount of people that are like, yeah, I want to be making $500,000 this year, it's like, why? What's the point?
You could literally go into a VR game, have a mountain of cash, and do whatever the fuck you want.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: We're approaching that future faster than I thought we were.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I have a VR headset right here. I can do whatever the fuck I want in it.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: That was a rough wake up call.
[00:27:34] Speaker A: What?
[00:27:35] Speaker B: Just that whole just that whole path.
I'm okay with robots taking over, but I'm not prepared to go through it myself.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Is that beer bottle, like, larger than normal beer bottles, or is it just.
[00:27:47] Speaker B: Like my no, it's the next size up. It's a pint.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like looking at this fucking beer bottle. It's like a little mini wine glass.
[00:27:57] Speaker B: I don't know how much it is.
Is it a pint?
[00:28:04] Speaker A: I have no idea.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: It is a pint.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: It comes in pints, but onto the next story because I've been preaching here for fucking way too long.
[00:28:16] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I forgot I was Jordan Hobbit.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: A woman was struck by a hit and run driver and then run over by police minutes later.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: Oh, this is lighter.
[00:28:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:33] Speaker C: Did you survive?
[00:28:35] Speaker A: Oh, let's read.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: God, I hope not.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: No, of course not.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: No one wants to survive that.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: Over in Baton Rouge, a woman was struck by a speeding driver and was run over just minutes later.
So surveillance video.
[00:28:51] Speaker B: Oh, the video's out there's a video? Oh, my God. Yes. Share with Courtney. We all need to see this.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Well, I don't think like the fucking full it's a news fucking video that's going to be blurred to fuck.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: No, it's so says Content warning.
[00:29:13] Speaker A: All right, here, let me share the fucking video.
Boom.
Fuck is it?
Oh, there it is.
From our oh, good fucking ad.
Thank you.
This is what you wanted?
A fucking ad about hospitals? Fuck these guys. To Baton Rouge Clinic. Pediatrics.
I think that's the woman right there.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: What?
[00:30:12] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Yeah, she's over here.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: Oh, wow.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: Boom. Got fucking thrown.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: Oh my god. That is not a fun way to die. Although it's quick, isn't it?
[00:30:30] Speaker A: Why are you in the middle of the road? Yeah, that's really what it comes down.
[00:30:37] Speaker C: I think she was.
I think she was. Wasn't she on the sidewalk?
[00:30:43] Speaker A: No, she was in the middle of the road.
[00:30:45] Speaker B: I thought she was on the sidewalk too.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: Boom. Damn.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: My god.
[00:30:53] Speaker A: When it rains, it pours.
I like this guy that has his arms up. He's like, what? The.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: People had to go home and tell their partner about it and then maybe have nightmares for a few weeks, but then get over it.
[00:31:12] Speaker A: No, I want to even lose a bit of sleep. Not even an ounce.
Many people are injured and can't afford to get the treatment they need. Fuck you.
I just wanted to rewind it to see if she was on the fucking side of the road. And it's like, here's another ad, asshole.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: My god, ads are annoying.
[00:31:37] Speaker A: You can see it like she's over here, like in the middle of the road. Boom.
[00:31:41] Speaker B: Oh, fuck.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: Yeah, she was in the middle of the road. That's on her.
[00:31:45] Speaker B: I mean, that is like shared not just one.
I already forgot all the magic words I learned from reading about Lloyd.
[00:31:57] Speaker A: But yeah. Surveillance video obtained by the WB's RZ shows initial impact which happened on North Foster Drive Saturday night. Debris can be seen flying through the air as a car continues to drive down the highway without stopping. Highway? She was in there roughly ten minutes later onlookers, watched in horror as a police officer drove at high speed, running over the victim, who is still lying on the roadway. The woman, identified by police as 38 year old Quinia Kwana Brown, some black name, was pronounced dead at the scene. Officials say it was unclear if she was already dead at the time of the second impact.
[00:32:43] Speaker B: Oh my god. It doesn't matter.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: It really doesn't. I mean, not matter, to be fair.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:49] Speaker A: The first driver did not see her, and she was on the ground same color as the road.
[00:32:57] Speaker B: Okay? If the poor thing was still alive, the second carb put her out of her misery. As far as I'm concerned.
[00:33:04] Speaker A: The amount of times I've run over dead or dying animals, the road in my truck.
[00:33:13] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I was watching one of those nature documentaries, and there was this one part, and they're showing about fucking walrus pups and how they're being hunted by the orcas. And so the orca will grab one of the pups and just like the way cats play with their prey, they'll play with them until they slowly die. They'll play with the body afterwards before eating it. And so you're watching the orcas play with the half life pup, and they're playing this sad violin music, and I'm just like, no, this is what it's supposed to be.
When Mochi ate that bird in front of its whole family, I did not feel bad for the birds. I thought it was hilarious for the cat.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: Well, what's funny is there was a zoo that had a baby monkey die. It was like a stillbirth or a miscarriage or something like that.
And they close the viewing area to the monkeys, and they're like, oh, the monkeys are just sad that their baby died, but they were just throwing around the remains of the monkey like the dead fucking monkey, like it was a fucking toy.
And it was just gory everywhere. And they're like, we cannot let the children see this.
[00:34:25] Speaker B: We cannot let the children see that built. Yes, but I don't feel bad for prey.
I don't think they deserve violin music.
[00:34:39] Speaker A: Speaking of prey, a couple are dead after a bear attack in Banif National Park.
[00:34:49] Speaker B: Apparently this it's a grizzly bear.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: Big old grizzly bear.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: Oh, he's so cute.
[00:34:54] Speaker A: If he's so dangerous, like, look at those ears.
How are grizzly bear ears supposed to.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: I don't know why all animal ears are so cute except rats. Rats have really weird ears.
[00:35:07] Speaker A: This is in Canada.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: Canada.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: I'm sure they were, like, apologizing to the bear. Like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm in your area. I'm sorry.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: Oh, I assumed they were American tourists.
No, don't say they're locals.
[00:35:25] Speaker A: The people who died were common law partners, according to family members. One of the deceased, whose name CBC News, is keeping the choose confidential until all members of the family have been notified. That's good of you. Oh, the couple's dog was also killed. That's the sad part of the story.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: Poor good doggo.
[00:35:47] Speaker A: They were long term partners who loved the outdoors and were inseparable. Actually. That bear separated them quite well.
[00:35:53] Speaker B: Yes, he did.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: From the top part of their body. From the bottom part of their body.
They gave him blue eyes. One eye blew that way and one eye blew that way.
They lived in the backwoods and were two of the most cautious people I know.
New, actually.
And they weren't that cautious.
They knew bear protocol. And followed it to a T.
You didn't.
What did you do? Go up to the bear and cover yourself in a one steak sauce make? There you go. Bear parks. Canada received an alert from a GPS device in the Red Deer River Valley west of Yahoo tenTata park.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: So was it a mama bear?
[00:36:48] Speaker A: I hope it was like a cub. I hope a cub just, like, fucking took them apart.
[00:36:57] Speaker B: I'm assuming it was a mama bear.
[00:37:00] Speaker A: Yeah. The response team arrived on site at 01:00 A.m. And discovered the two deceased individuals.
While in the area, the response team encountered a grizzly bear displaying aggressive behavior and they had to destroy the animal on site for public safety.
[00:37:20] Speaker B: Why couldn't they just start it and release it in the wild?
[00:37:25] Speaker A: Why did they have to say destroy it? You can just say kill it because you can't.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: Otherwise, people will actually think, oh, wait, you killed the bear. That's fucked up. No, they use a different word so your brain doesn't connect the dots unless you're smart.
[00:37:40] Speaker A: I just imagine they just get, like, a bigger bear and be like, hey, bigger bear, kill that bear. Destroy it.
They just get some big boxer to come up and be like, I'm about to wreck your whole shit. And the boxer beats them up.
[00:37:55] Speaker B: We need to protect our own predators.
[00:37:58] Speaker A: I mean, if it was America, we'd destroy them with a nuke.
Yeah. Fucking trump. Drop a nuke on this bear.
[00:38:09] Speaker B: We need predators.
[00:38:12] Speaker A: We have predators.
[00:38:13] Speaker B: We do not have enough predators.
[00:38:15] Speaker A: We have a bear.
[00:38:16] Speaker B: Not enough bears. And they killed that predator on site. So he is no longer doing the job of being our predator.
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Give that bear a gun.
Even the playing field. It's like movie cocaine bear, but with a gun. Cocaine bears with guns. Oh, shit. They have AR 15s.
Lock up the school. Oh, no. The bear came into the school.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: It's been a long time since I last saw Jurassic Park.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: I said cocaine bear. But imagine, like, dinosaurs with guns, too.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: Yeah, in the kitchen with the pots and pants.
[00:38:58] Speaker A: Goose. If you had a gun, you'd be a dangerous animal.
You just have to get a brain, too. But.
[00:39:09] Speaker B: He has two cells. One to eat, one to breathe.
That's more tracy.
[00:39:13] Speaker A: 14%. I like how they fucking missed it. Percent.
Like, they just said percent. As in two words. 14% of grizzly bears worldwide lead to fatalities. These bears need to get their numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.
[00:39:30] Speaker B: Those are more than a fucking great white.
[00:39:35] Speaker A: Yeah, because the great whites are great. They're like, I'm just too great to kill you. I don't want to get my whiteness red.
[00:39:43] Speaker B: I like sharks.
I don't like bull sharks. I like all the other sharks.
[00:39:53] Speaker A: I mean, like, if these Canadians fucking had a gun, Canadaians, then they would be fine because they would have been able to kill themselves before the bear got. Them, then been able to really play dead, be like, oh, man, these guys are really good. I'm not going to eat them now.
Ah, but more dumb bullshit. A Pennsylvania chocolate factory is fined more than $44,000 by the Federal Workplace Safety Agency on Thursday after failing to evacuate before a natural gas explosion that killed seven people.
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Was it hershey? Because fuck hershey's. Their chocolate's disgusting.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: Doesn't say, but it might know. Hershey, Pennsylvania. I doubt it, though.
[00:40:51] Speaker B: Oh, no, that's just the chocolate brand.
[00:40:54] Speaker A: I dislike a Pennsylvania chocolate factory. Yeah.
RM. Palmer company did not heed warnings from employees about a natural gas leak, according to the US occupation. According to OSHA, seven workers will never return home because the RM. Palmer company did not evacuate. I don't know if that's like a chocolate company. I've never had an RM. Palmer bar.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: I thought it's like a tea and lemon.
[00:41:27] Speaker A: No, that's Arnold Palmer. That's a golfer who liked lemonade and iced tea.
That was his drink. Half and half. It's a good drink.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: Wait, is that an alcoholic drink?
[00:41:41] Speaker A: No, you can get it to Jimmy John's.
But yeah, the OSHA people are like, yeah, fuck you. You killed six people. We're going to find you $44,000.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: Thank you, OSHA. OSHA is scary, but it does good things.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Like find people 44,000 people. Find a company $44,000 for killing seven people.
[00:42:04] Speaker B: Now, I was there in college when OSHA rated UC Davis, and it did not go, oh, it was glorious. But you know what? UC Davis shifted the fuck up like they got their ducks in a row. They were like, oh, fuck. Yeah. They also didn't like they made a shit ton of money.
And I was there to watch it go down. It was very interesting.
Really?
[00:42:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: But here's the thing. If you smell natural gas, just get out of the area.
[00:42:39] Speaker B: I thought you can't smell natural gas.
[00:42:41] Speaker A: You can.
[00:42:42] Speaker C: You can.
[00:42:43] Speaker A: You know when you turn on the burner on the stove?
[00:42:45] Speaker B: Well, I don't know which one is scentless and which one does smell.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: All the flammable gases that we use for cooking are scented.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: So, yes, natural gas and propane both have quite a scent to them.
So it's like if you go it's.
[00:43:06] Speaker C: The carbon monoxide that gets you. That's why there's carbon monoxide.
[00:43:10] Speaker B: That's the one that kills the bird protectors.
[00:43:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
The reason why they bring a bird down into the mines is for the.
[00:43:19] Speaker B: Ones you can't smell.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: Well, no, it's for the ones you can smell. And that's hydrogen sulfide that will kill you fucking very quickly.
[00:43:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:43:32] Speaker A: Carbon monoxide is not a problem down there. Not as much as hydrogen sulfide is a problem down there. Fucking dinosaurs and hydrogen sulfide. Hydrogen and sulfide was such a fucking issue in the oil fields that we all wore H two S monitors.
[00:43:50] Speaker B: Really?
Shit.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: And if it starts fucking going off, get the fuck out of there.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: Excellent.
[00:43:58] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:43:59] Speaker B: That is a very good thing because.
[00:44:01] Speaker A: If you're in a pit, it's like, yeah, you're fucking dead.
You don't go in there and save him. He's already dead.
And yes, there was quite a few fucking people that did.
So wow. I don't feel bad for these people. You fucking smelled gas.
It's like the fucking R. Kelly fucking thing in the know. I CP and I move she CP, and she stayed that's on her.
You if you smell fucking natural gas, then yeah, no, I'm the fuck out of there.
But got a few more stories and get on out of here. No charges for a Georgia state trooper who killed an activist at the Atlanta Public Safety Training Center site.
So, yeah, honestly, I fucking hate activists.
A special prosecutor will not be charged.
[00:45:12] Speaker B: Not charged.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: The six oh, six people shot him. Yes. Hell yeah.
Manuel Esteban, Paz Taban, who went by Tortuga and used they them pronouns, was shot and killed by six George Distuper on January 18.
Yeah, they've been camping out for months to protest the development of the training center dubbed Hop City by critics. Yeah. They're fucking trying to do safety over there.
Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck this kid. Fuck Tortuga. I'm glad he's dead.
[00:45:57] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: Wait, what happened? You scrolled through too fast for me to read.
[00:46:09] Speaker C: Aren't they protesting against the police building something? A training yeah, a training center.
[00:46:15] Speaker A: And they're just camped out there.
[00:46:21] Speaker B: And then the activists started shooting at the police.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
So they were firing pepper balls at the tents to get them the fuck out of there.
[00:46:30] Speaker B: So the police were throwing pepper balls.
[00:46:32] Speaker A: And the activists were shooting he shot multiple shots. And he hit a Georgia State Patrol trooper, Jerry Parrish, below his armor plates and above his belt, right into the side, lodging a bullet into his spine. And the officers return a fire and killing him.
[00:46:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:46:50] Speaker A: So, yeah, he deserved it. Good. Fuck this kid.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: No guns. Be guns.
[00:47:03] Speaker A: If you're going to be a fucking activist, fucking be an activist and make fucking videos and be like, this is what they're doing, and this is why I don't want them to do it.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: I feel like these people should be called terrorists and not activists.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: Well, that's what they are. They don't have anything going on in their life. And so they're like, I'm going to do this.
[00:47:27] Speaker B: Yeah. I feel like this is actually terrorism.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: It's domestic terrorism.
[00:47:31] Speaker B: Oh, thank you.
That's a much better word for that.
[00:47:35] Speaker A: Florida Stories. We got a couple 77 year old man from The Villages arrested after he was found with one $800 worth of illegal erectile dysfunction pills.
[00:47:50] Speaker B: Why is this dude in trouble?
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Fucking, he just like, was this dude I read through the entire fucking story.
He had about $2,000 worth of erectile dysfunction pills, which he did not get from a pharmacy or from a pharmacist.
Just kind of got them off the Internet.
[00:48:15] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:48:15] Speaker A: And was going to give them out to the locals because he was in a retirement community and was going to give them out to all the fucking other old men that wanted fucking dick pills for fucking let them have their dick pills. What else do they have in life? They're retired. If they die, they die.
If you take drugs from somebody you don't know and you die, that's what happens.
[00:48:42] Speaker B: That is 100% on you.
[00:48:45] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:48:46] Speaker B: That's on you.
[00:48:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Reginald Kinser was his name.
[00:48:54] Speaker B: So what are they going to do to him?
Is he going to go and sit in jail for the next three years of his life?
[00:49:00] Speaker A: I think it's like one year he's facing a charge that would lead to a year long stint in federal prison, which leaves the legions of fans even more confused why Kinser was arrested. Yeah, they don't really have anything on him.
[00:49:19] Speaker B: I'm also confused on why they've been able to arrest him.
[00:49:30] Speaker A: I'm sure he's going to get out of jail and come back with his fucking dick pills. His fucking mug shot is him smiling.
[00:49:37] Speaker B: Well, yeah, the dude's 77.
The dude's 77.
[00:49:42] Speaker A: Yeah. He's about to die anyway.
[00:49:45] Speaker B: Exactly. Go out like a hero.
[00:49:50] Speaker A: And another Florida man didn't like the way a skillet was being cleaned and he pulls a knife on the dishwasher.
A Central Florida firefighter was arrested after a dispute on how to properly clean a pan. To be fair, it was a cast iron pan and the other firefighter that was cleaning said pan was using soap.
[00:50:18] Speaker B: Oh no.
[00:50:21] Speaker A: Some of the crew advised the dude that cast iron shouldn't be cleaned with soap because it takes the seasoning out of the pan and causes rust.
[00:50:31] Speaker C: Most soaps nowadays don't though. It's only Lye that did that you could wash it with soap.
[00:50:40] Speaker B: I never even thought that makes so much more sense. Although I'm not giving up my rock salt. Like, I feel so bougie when I'm cleaning with the rock salt. But that makes a lot of sense.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: Domestic guru Martha Stewart agrees that the durable piece of cookware should be treated with special care. Example, debris cleaned with a gentle brush and pan soaked in warm water. While some of the firefighters were joking around at the dishwasher, one reportedly took the situation seriously, placing a knife against the victim's throat, saying you don't do that around here. That's how people get killed.
[00:51:12] Speaker B: What?
[00:51:14] Speaker A: According to a witness, reported that the knife was ten to twelve inches long with a six inch blade.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: So a cooking knife.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: The pan washing firefighter initially declined to press charges but then decided to file a police report the following day.
The 44 year old suspect, who explained he met no harm and was only using the dull end of the knife, was arrested by Orange County deputies Tuesday and charged with aggravated assault and battery charges.
The union representing him said he's on administrative leave.
What the fuck and the Orlando Fire Department declined to comment because it is an active criminal investigation.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: What the fuck?
What's that? Next comment down.
[00:52:05] Speaker A: Someone said ten to twelve inches is nearly half a sword. Damn, that's massive.
She never said, but yeah, I get it.
If you want to fucking do it the right way, then you clean the cast iron.
But I imagine the cops coming to the firefighters place be like, all right, who did what?
Because cops and firefighters have like a natural rivalry.
[00:52:45] Speaker B: Well, yeah, one of them is not a fucking prick.
[00:52:50] Speaker A: Fuck the fire department coming straight with a knife.
[00:52:55] Speaker B: Not underground.
[00:52:57] Speaker A: No, that's fuck the police.
Fuck the police coming straight from the underground.
Bad words are bad and I can't say them because I'm not brown enough.
All right. Now, on to am I the asshole? By logical carpet. Four three asshole for telling my wife I'm not going to sacrifice my hobbies just so I can babysit my wife. Jane, 34, female, and I 38, male, have been together for five years. She also brought my stepdaughter Emily, nine female, into our marriage. We have her four days a week, Monday through Thursday, while she's at her dad's Friday through Sunday. From the beginning, Jane told me Emily doesn't need a second father figure as she has her dad to fill that role. I was only to be a trusted authority figure in the case. She ever needed anything I didn't mind and try my best to respect that boundary. She's a sweet child anyway and doesn't cause any trouble, so it's not like I have to discipline her. Her father is also a good dad. Emily's dad recently got married and his wife has two kids of her own who are at their place Wednesday through Saturday and at their dad's Sunday to Tuesday. Emily and her new stepsiblings don't get along at all. They're always fighting and it's pretty toxic. Emily's dad asked Jane if they changed their custody schedule to match his step kids to keep the children apart. It's not a big deal and of itself we don't live far from each other, so picking and dropping is no issue. She can easily be dropped off at school no matter where she stays. The issue is my wife agreed to do it without consulting me.
Jane is currently doing a certification course for the next twelve months and they have classes on Saturdays from nine to five. She asked if I could babysit Emily on Saturdays, but that I can't because I play golf with my brother and sister on Saturday mornings from eight to one, and that it's been a tradition from before Jane and Emily came into our life. I have told Jane as much before, this is important to me and my siblings. She asked if I can move it to another day. That's not possible either because my siblings have jobs and families of their own. So Saturday was the best day for us. I told her she can hire a babysitter, but she doesn't want to spend money that I can do it for free. I told her that wouldn't work for me. She got mad and said golf is stupid and I should put my stepdaughter over my siblings. That pissed me off. So I told her I'm not going to sacrifice my hobbies just so she can have a free babysitter. For the record, I don't have anything against Emily. I've babysat her before. She's a good kid and if there is a family emergency or if it is an occasional occurrence, then yeah, I'd cancel golf to take care of her, but I can't give up something that's important for me for twelve months continuous.
She called me a selfish asshole and slept on the couch last night.
So am I the asshole?
[00:56:19] Speaker B: What the fuck?
[00:56:21] Speaker A: No.
Your Hobies are your Hobies brother.
That's her kid.
[00:56:30] Speaker B: Why did he marry his wife if he wasn't? What?
Why did he marry her if he had no intention of being a major part of his partner's child's life? Because why did he marry her if he doesn't want the situation?
[00:56:48] Speaker A: Well, no, his wife Jane told him op that she doesn't need another father figure in her life. He is just an authority figure. That is a boundary that his wife set.
And the daughter already has emily already has a dad, a good dad too, that fucking pays attention and all that.
[00:57:22] Speaker C: He so what responsibility does she want him to take on as the father?
[00:57:28] Speaker A: Well, no, she just wants him to babysit because every Saturday the mother from nine to five has a certification course for twelve months.
So for the next 52 fucking Saturdays she has to go in and take a class from nine to five for.
[00:57:48] Speaker B: How old is Emily again?
[00:57:50] Speaker A: Nine. Okay, so technically Emily can babysit herself, but it's right on that.
[00:57:58] Speaker C: Actually, no, it's twelve. Well, it depends on the state.
Also, if they leave her alone, they could be charged with child endangerment. Yeah, that's what happened to that woman. She left her daughter in charge as a babysitter and she got charged almost got.
I think that's still ongoing. But she was being charged with child endangerment because she was leaving the teenager in charge of three of her siblings.
[00:58:31] Speaker A: That's stupid.
[00:58:32] Speaker B: No, that's a very good thing.
[00:58:34] Speaker A: I mean, if you make it a know thing, then yeah.
[00:58:40] Speaker C: Well, I mean, how else are you going to I mean, if you're a single parent, it's.
[00:58:50] Speaker A: Mean, you know, from the beginning. Jane told me Emily doesn't need a second father figure as she has her dad to fill that role. I was only supposed to be a trusted authority figure in case she ever needed anything. I didn't mind and I tried to respect that boundary. She's a sweet child anyway and doesn't cause any trouble, so it's not like I have to discipline her. Her father is also a good dad. So he is only an authority figure, not a fucking parent.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: This is so OD to me.
[00:59:19] Speaker A: I mean, I do get it as a fucking man, if the dad is dead or something like that, or the dad's out of the fucking like sort of like know ben took over for those kids and he's their dad.
[00:59:39] Speaker B: So you consider your own biological progeny more important than not of your own genetics?
[00:59:47] Speaker A: Well, no. So Op every Saturday is going out and playing golf, so he gets to go do that. That's his fucking thing that he does from eight to one.
So really at 09:00 so from nine to one, the mother just has to get a babysitter or figure some shit out?
Yeah, or drop the kid over at the dad's house from nine to one, which is only fucking 4 hours.
And then boom, after fucking golf, he comes home, picks up the kid, and from one to five they don't have.
[01:00:42] Speaker B: Like Op hasn't had a child with his wife, right?
[01:00:44] Speaker A: No.
[01:00:44] Speaker B: Okay. Thank God.
Continue.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: But she's calling him a selfish asshole. Is this dude a selfish asshole? No.
[01:00:54] Speaker B: Okay. I've decided.
[01:00:56] Speaker A: What?
[01:00:56] Speaker B: Op is not supposed to be a father. So from his perspective, I am saying not the asshole. From the partner's perspective of being able to advance her own education in order to get a job being blocked because her partner doesn't want to support her for a whole fucking year. That's where I'm really upset about it, to be honest.
[01:01:17] Speaker A: She's 34. If you haven't fucking gotten your shit together by 34, too late.
[01:01:23] Speaker B: There is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer.
[01:01:25] Speaker A: Too late.
[01:01:26] Speaker B: No, there is no such thing.
[01:01:29] Speaker C: If she was going to be making more money with that, then yeah, it.
[01:01:35] Speaker A: Would be like if you she can afford to fucking get a babysitter. Like they put this in the story. She can afford to get the babysitter, she just doesn't want to get the babysitter. Or she doesn't want to work with her ex to beg, hey, can you take care of my daughter and then my husband will come get her after golf?
[01:02:03] Speaker B: From LP's perspective, he is not the asshole I want. Comments?
[01:02:10] Speaker A: All right, let's see what the fucking comments say.
Not the asshole. Sounds like something that should have been worked out more carefully as a family.
As a family before agreeing to is it possible that the dad stepmom can change your kids schedules as well?
That way they have her when Jane is busy with her certification courses. Like I said, there isn't. And even if there is, it would still likely have to be paid for. My wife doesn't want money to be spent to be taken care of family. She wants me to do it for free.
[01:02:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
This is something that he's done forever.
And if she can't afford it, why wouldn't she do it?
[01:03:08] Speaker A: Not the asshole. I was ready to read this and read you for filth, but this is truly an asshole move from your wife. I think it's totally fair that she asked you to help out, but agreeing to do it without talking to you, assuming that you'd constantly do this is wild. Why did she agree and then loop you in after? It's also interesting that your wife needs your help. Emily is your stepdaughter, but it seems to be a clear boundary that you aren't a father figure and your wife wants to revisit that role to Emily. Totally cool, but it shouldn't be when she needs a babysitter.
So yeah, the fucking wife is a piece of shit.
Yeah, fuck the wife.
Now onto relationship advice by abrupt glacier. My wife, 32, female, got cancer and is leaving me, 32 male. I'm distraught.
My wife and I were dating ten years before we got married last June, June 2022. So we've only been together for eleven years now. Married for 15 months now. Two weeks after a wedding, my wife gets diagnosed with a super rare form of appendix cancer. That aggressive as it can get. So she ends up in the hospital last July at Salon Kettering in New York, fighting for her life because the cancer has spread so dramatically. I thought she was going to die. I ended up spending hundreds of hours researching a surgeon who would take her case to debulk some of the tumors.
I finally found a great surgeon in Pittsburgh who opened her up and spent 13 hours taking out the tumors from her midsection. She recovers from that surgery back in January and goes into remission no for no more than four weeks. Before they started seeing the cancer coming back. They told her she'd be on heavy chemotherapy until she died. She had about 20 rounds total of full Fox or Full Theory, and honestly, probably more than that. The doctors say it only works for a year or two until the cancer takes over. They gave her a year to live in her most recent oncologist appointment.
She comes up to me the other day and she said she wants to separate and spend her remaining days in her hometown with her hometown friends in New York for a better support system. I work 09:00 A.m. To 06:00 P.m. Every day and then sometimes I hit the gym after work.
She never really made a life outside the house because she was always feeling so shitty from chemo. She says she's lonely and needs the support system, so no big deal, right? I offered to move up there with her, but she says she wants me to move on and actually start a family with someone else. She says she doesn't want me waking up one random day when I'm 37. I'm 32 now, by the way, and have no family and a dead wife. I told her that she is my life and I want to spend the rest of it with her. She denies me from coming. And I've sat down with her for five days straight, trying to plead with her to let me come and take care of her on her bad days.
She says it has to be this way. I'm so distraught. I don't know what else to do to save this marriage. I've tried everything. Seems the more I bring up trying to save the marriage, the more she wants to end it. Recently, she's been very distant and has planned a day for her to get on a plane to New York for good. October 27. She said she would stay up until that day and help me with anything I needed to get comfortable and move out on my own. Every time I try and hug or kiss her on the cheek, she acts uncomfortable. We've been together eleven years now and it's all gone. What's my best course of action? I want to save this marriage. Where do I let her go? I want to be with her on our final days.
[01:07:13] Speaker B: Oh my God. Opiate sucks so bad.
[01:07:18] Speaker A: Kill her.
[01:07:20] Speaker B: Honest to God, pancreatic cancer is so aggressive. And then literally you found a surgeon and they did a 13 hours surgery, removed a bunch of cysts and tumors and they were back within like a month.
Why the fuck did she undergo that surgery? She underwent it for absolutely no purpose. And when you're on chemo drugs, they fuck up your brain connections. They change you as a person. The longer you are on chemotherapy, it fucks your brain up.
And no one fucking does therapy for people who are put in this type of situation either. They're just left to flounder about in this traumatic experience all on their own. Op, I am so sorry. Cancer sucks.
That surgery was so unnecessary.
[01:08:11] Speaker A: I can tell you this, Op, completely unnecessary. Your wife's already dead.
[01:08:15] Speaker C: She is.
[01:08:16] Speaker B: She truly is.
[01:08:18] Speaker A: Yeah. That woman that you loved, she died on that surgery table.
She died when she saw the fucking tumors come back.
[01:08:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:08:29] Speaker A: And she just wants to go to a quiet place and die and not have to look at you and be like, hey, yeah, I'm about to die. I get that you love her. And if you love her, let her go.
[01:08:44] Speaker B: She doesn't want you to watch her die.
[01:08:51] Speaker A: Or kill.
[01:08:54] Speaker B: Like, why is euthanasia not a thing in human? Like, I'm always so confused by that.
[01:09:00] Speaker A: A bunch of young people in Asia.
[01:09:05] Speaker B: You think that's funny every time you say that Courtney loves oh, God.
[01:09:10] Speaker C: That's actually pretty funny.
That's so it. I love it.
Sorry, I've been really silent.
I just haven't really gotten I think of something to say afterwards and then it's too late and I don't want to backtrack all the time.
[01:09:34] Speaker B: You're always welcome to backtrack.
[01:09:37] Speaker C: Oh my God.
[01:09:40] Speaker A: If you got cancer, would you leave me?
[01:09:46] Speaker B: So if I get cancer, I'm going to make a calendar and I'm going to note on the calendar how many good days I'm having and how many bad days I'm having, because I am not doing surgery. I am not doing chemotherapy. I am not doing radiation. Once I start having more bad days than good, then I am offing myself. And if you want to be present for that, you are more than welcome to. But I will not leave you unless you want to leave me.
But I am going to die with good quality of life, and I am not doing chemo and I am not doing radiation, and I most certainly am not doing surgery.
[01:10:20] Speaker A: I mean, I think for me it'd be called Gemini.
[01:10:25] Speaker B: I don't get it.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: It's my sign thing.
[01:10:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, but what does that have to do with cancer?
[01:10:30] Speaker A: Because cancer.
[01:10:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I literally the words left in my mouth and I regretted it.
[01:10:38] Speaker A: I cannot tell you what month cancer is.
[01:10:41] Speaker B: I also don't know what month cancer is.
[01:10:44] Speaker A: I can't tell you any of the other signs other than cancer or Gemini.
[01:10:49] Speaker B: Wait, you don't know what my sign is?
[01:10:50] Speaker A: No idea. Don't care.
[01:10:53] Speaker B: You don't care?
[01:10:54] Speaker A: Not at all. Not even in a slight.
[01:10:55] Speaker B: The only reason you know your sign is a Gemini is because I've told you multiple times.
[01:11:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:11:01] Speaker B: This is where you ask me what my sign is.
[01:11:03] Speaker A: I don't care. I really don't. It'll go in one ear and out the other.
[01:11:08] Speaker B: I know. So you can ask it anyway.
[01:11:11] Speaker A: Goose, what's your sign?
He says meow.
[01:11:15] Speaker B: His birthday's in May, so I actually don't know.
[01:11:17] Speaker A: Good.
So it doesn't matter. None of it ever matters. This is like some crystal bitch woo woo shit.
[01:11:24] Speaker B: Well, no, horoscopes work differently for cats because they have nine lives, so you.
[01:11:29] Speaker A: Get nine of them.
[01:11:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:11:30] Speaker A: He's like, I'm a fucking Taurus. Cancer, gemini.
Taurus is another one, I think.
[01:11:43] Speaker B: Horus Taurus. You said taurus before.
[01:11:47] Speaker A: Did I?
[01:11:48] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:11:49] Speaker A: I don't know what the fucking signs are, but yeah, fucking let your wife go and spend the rest of her time with her friends. Let her go fucking on a vacation and then kind of like, just forget about her.
[01:12:03] Speaker B: You can't see that it doesn't work that way.
[01:12:06] Speaker A: I know, but if you're like, hey, I want to go spend the rest of my time with Courtney and have Courtney take care of me because she's good at taking care of dying old people.
[01:12:19] Speaker C: I would not.
[01:12:23] Speaker A: You what?
[01:12:25] Speaker B: I would not do that.
[01:12:27] Speaker C: Do what?
[01:12:30] Speaker A: Go to you to have if she's, like, dying of some fucking horrible disease.
[01:12:37] Speaker B: No. Once my quality of life declines, I'm out. I don't care what the disease is.
[01:12:42] Speaker A: How would you do it?
[01:12:43] Speaker B: How would you I literally just said so. I have a calendar.
[01:12:45] Speaker A: No, how would you kill yourself?
[01:12:48] Speaker B: Oh, a blade.
[01:12:52] Speaker A: No, that's messy.
[01:12:55] Speaker B: No, like a surgical blade. I would use a number ten. That is precisely how I'm taking myself out. That is my favorite surgical blade.
[01:13:04] Speaker A: Yeah, and you're going to get blood everywhere.
[01:13:06] Speaker B: That's not my problem. I'm dead.
[01:13:08] Speaker A: It's going to be my problem.
[01:13:10] Speaker C: Do it in the bathroom.
[01:13:11] Speaker B: Of course I'm going to do it in the bathroom. I like being in the bathroom.
[01:13:14] Speaker A: How am I supposed to take a shower?
[01:13:17] Speaker B: You call someone in to clean up after the crime scene.
[01:13:20] Speaker A: Well, it's not a crime.
[01:13:22] Speaker B: Okay, well, I literally watched a show about this, so, like, I lowkey know what I'm talking about.
[01:13:28] Speaker A: You watched a fucking show that a comedian made, and it was fucking hilarious.
That has no basis in reality whatsoever.
[01:13:38] Speaker B: But it has good spy music.
[01:13:41] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Craig Davis fucking is a crime sling cleaner.
[01:13:47] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That was so bad.
[01:13:49] Speaker A: It doesn't matter.
[01:13:50] Speaker B: That was dreadful.
[01:13:51] Speaker A: You're awful.
[01:13:53] Speaker B: Oh, I know that. I'm here for me, not you.
[01:13:57] Speaker A: Yeah, a lot of the time they don't have crime scene cleaners. A lot of the time you have to pay for that.
[01:14:06] Speaker B: So pay someone to clean it up.
[01:14:08] Speaker A: It's expensive.
[01:14:10] Speaker B: Okay, well, then just get some hydrogen peroxide.
[01:14:13] Speaker A: I'm going to be taking a shower and jerking off, and then your ghost is going to be in the tub.
[01:14:19] Speaker B: And I'm like, no, I am not haunting you. I am leaving onto my next existence.
I am forsaking this body.
[01:14:27] Speaker A: What if you have cats?
[01:14:29] Speaker B: My cats are coming with me.
[01:14:30] Speaker A: Are you going to kill your cats?
[01:14:32] Speaker B: No, of course not. Cats reincarnate. They'll be with me in my next life.
[01:14:36] Speaker A: Yeah, but if you're about to kill yourself, would you kill your cats?
[01:14:41] Speaker B: No, of course not.
Why the fuck would I do that? That shit's fucked up.
[01:14:47] Speaker A: I'm going to come home and Mochi is going to be eating your eyeballs. It's going to be bad.
And chai tea will get into the fucking pill pockets.
[01:14:58] Speaker B: Can literally you can ask my coworkers or if Courtney if they want to take them.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[01:15:05] Speaker A: Courtney, you want a cat if my wife offs herself?
[01:15:09] Speaker C: Yep.
[01:15:10] Speaker A: All right. Courtney's getting a cat when you kill.
[01:15:14] Speaker B: Yourself, that's if I get cancer.
[01:15:19] Speaker A: Well, that's if you kill yourself.
[01:15:21] Speaker B: That's if I get cancer.
[01:15:23] Speaker A: Well, I mean, there's worse things than cancer, okay?
[01:15:27] Speaker B: Alzheimer's and getting also rank up right there.
[01:15:34] Speaker C: What?
[01:15:34] Speaker A: I'm just glad you hear what I said.
[01:15:37] Speaker B: What I miss?
[01:15:39] Speaker A: I said there's worse things in cancer, like getting married.
All right, that's it. We've gone over time. Whatever. Thank you all so much for being here.
Follow me on all my shit. I don't care. Follow who's that cat again?
[01:15:59] Speaker B: Senorita Whiskers.
[01:16:00] Speaker A: Senorita Whiskers. Follow Senorita Whiskers on Instagram. All right, see you all next week. Bye.
