Unarmed Grenade

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another week of the Human podcast. You're back again. You're a glutton for punishment. Love it. Holy. I'm your host, Alex. The truck. We got my wife, not the truck. Hello. And then we got Courtney from across the land. [00:00:21] Speaker B: Yep, I'm right here. [00:00:23] Speaker A: All right. Like, as I was, like, driving back home today, like, I. Like, I thought of, like, you know, a bunch of topics, and then, like, I recorded them in, like, a voice note, and I'm like, why the fuck did I do that? I'm never gonna listen to my voice notes. Like, I. I do this. Like, let me see how many fucking voice notes I goddamn have. 3977 voice notes. I'll never listen to them. And I. I know, like, and I hope that no one else does either, but, you know, I'm sure, like, it'll be in the Smithsonian one day. Like, this is how humans used to be. And you can listen to hours of, you know, this human being. It's like, whoa, that's crazy. But I did write down a few of the things that I. I thought of. And, like, the first thing was that, you know, all Jeep people suck. There's never been someone that has ever owned a Jeep that has been a good person. [00:01:46] Speaker C: My mother owned a Jeep, and this is. Case in point. [00:01:55] Speaker A: What did my wife send me? [00:01:56] Speaker C: Oh, just a picture mochi I just took. Oh, yeah. [00:02:01] Speaker A: I mean, like, every person that I've ever seen in a Jeep, they're always a person that, like, cut me off and then go slow because I want to save on gas, but they want to be in front of the fucking truck. You know, it's like. And, like, I tested this theory. I'm like, okay, is. Is every single fucking person with a Jeep just a, you know, complete dipshit? Yes, every single one. You're like, well, I have a grand Jeep Cherokee. Does that count? Yes. Every. If you have Jeep in the name, you know, you're a piece of shit. It's like, what if I have, like, a, you know, the Toyota version, like the FJ cruiser or whatever. Still an asshole. Less of an asshole. Yeah, you want. You want to be an asshole, but you don't have it in your heart to be an asshole. So you try your best. You know, you'll spend too much time at the fucking, you know, stop sign before taking your turn. You know, you'll be looking down at your phone, you know, at the front of the line when the light turns green. Like, you're that type of person people in the hardcore Jeeps. There's like, I can park my car on top of a rock and fuck up everyone's day. And I'm like, like, courtney, do you know anybody with a Jeep? [00:03:23] Speaker B: No. [00:03:24] Speaker A: No, cuz those people suck. And no one knows anybody with a Jeep. You know, the only time a Jeep can be, you know, like you can be redeemed is if A, you're running away from dinosaurs or B, you're a lesbian. Like, that's it. No one else. Gay men in Jeeps, you know, lesbian with a Jeep. Fucking great. Love a lesbian energy. They've never been assholes, but, you know, they also don't go where I go. [00:04:02] Speaker C: Could a Jeep withstand me? [00:04:05] Speaker A: Yeah, probably. I mean, you're. You're a terrible driver, so you fit right in. [00:04:10] Speaker C: Yep. Yeah, I would. [00:04:14] Speaker A: But you know, I don't have the kind of money to take care of your fucking Jeep. [00:04:19] Speaker C: Oh, I don't want. Okay. I just want a card that can withstand me. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it could. Also a Hummer could too. [00:04:27] Speaker C: I don't want a Hummer. Those things are ugly. [00:04:31] Speaker A: What are you talking about? Hummers are great. I mean, like, as a vehicle they're awful. But, you know, it's like, you know, they're like, they're cool for like two seconds and then you like, get to the gas station, you're like, this isn't cool anymore. I want off this ride. And you just like leave it at the gas station. They try and tow it away and they just can't. Like, I guess this is just a permanent fixture here now. And you know, on my way home, I was like, watching the, you know, listening to a documentary, you know, of a bunch of, you know, people and like, Baltimore and you know, how life is on the. In on the streets and just like some, you know, nerdy white dude, you know, Like, I couldn't see him because I wasn't like watching the video, but like, I could just hear him and you know, he's just like going around trying to talk to fucking people and back, you know, what's it like on these streets? He's like, yeah, I died like three times when, you know, I'm just like, oh my gosh, is this like another soft white underbelly? Like there, there was a YouTube. I'm sure it's still around. And it's like the, the one of the crazier. Soft white underbelly. Yeah, it's still around 6.6 million followers, you know, and it's just, you know, you know, some People, you know, are like on the streets and, and it'll just like do interviews with people. Like, not like sometimes on the streets, but like, you know, in our room. He's like, you know, boom. And I'm like, but like, this one is just like on the streets with people that are currently high and very real danger. And I'm like, damn, I have it really nice in my gingerfied neighborhood. You know, I'm gonna stop complaining about the homeless population here. [00:06:48] Speaker C: Gingers have no souls. [00:06:50] Speaker A: Gingerfication. [00:06:52] Speaker C: So they're soulless now? [00:06:54] Speaker A: I mean, it's always been soulless. [00:06:58] Speaker C: But it's soft. [00:07:01] Speaker A: I don't even. Let me see. What is the definition of gentrification? A process where a character or a poor urban area is changed. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Whoa, whoa, whoa. [00:07:11] Speaker C: Okay, say it again. [00:07:13] Speaker A: Gentrification, obviously. Google got it. [00:07:16] Speaker C: Okay. I've been hearing gingerfication. Like you're turning, you're turning people in, people into gingers. Like, you're like, this person is just turning people into redrification. [00:07:27] Speaker A: You know, Am I, am I saying, Courtney, am I saying it wrong? [00:07:31] Speaker C: No, I just never heard it said out loud so my brain didn't realize. [00:07:35] Speaker A: Thank you. The process where a character of a poor urban area is changed by wealthier people moving in, improving housing, attracting new businesses, and typically displacing current inhabitants in the process. So, yes, you know, I used it properly. Richer people such as us have, have been moving in, you know, and pushing. [00:07:56] Speaker C: Out the riff raff, but not turning them into gingers. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Not turning them into gingers. No. [00:08:02] Speaker C: This is why I was so confused. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Yeah, so, yes, that is essentially, although. [00:08:08] Speaker C: I feel like my first statement still holds. Soulless. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, we're not good people, but it's like, you know, if you're not going to, you know, take care of your, you know, city like this, then get out, you know, go, go move to California. Go ruin that. You know, like any anytime. Like I, I see, you know, like a run down town with just trash on the streets and no one taking care of it, you know, and just. [00:08:39] Speaker C: If we ran a city, that's what it would look like. Just so you know. [00:08:42] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. But that's why we don't run the city. That's why I'm not in politics. Like, I feel like if I was in politics, I might be corrupted very easily. They might come back. Hey, Alex, do you want to fucking, you know, run this, you know, whole campaign right here? We'll give you, you know, $80,000. And I'm like, holy shit, that's like a third of my house right there. Just running this for, like, six months. Yes. And then they're like, we got him. You know, you want to do this? We'll pay you a hundred thousand dollars. Oh, yeah. And then before I know it, I'm like, guns are evil. You know, and, you know, we need to get Donald Trump the out of here. [00:09:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:09:26] Speaker A: I know it. Like, that's why I don't run for, you know, office, because what. What happens when I do get corrupted by money? It's fine. This isn't a political podcast. I try and, you know, keep the politics in. Know out of it like that. That's the reason I haven't done the whole Sydney Sweeney. But since it's already here, let's go ahead and talk about it. Like, have you seen the c. The Sydney Sweeney ad? [00:09:55] Speaker C: No. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not. It's fine. It's an ad. [00:10:00] Speaker A: It's an ad. So, you know, it's pretty much this. I have no idea who she is. Actor, sitting, like, in a room, just, like, laying down, you know, and jeans. [00:10:11] Speaker C: And she's sitting or she's laying down here. [00:10:13] Speaker A: I'll just fucking pull it up. [00:10:18] Speaker B: They're trying to say it's racist and bullshit. It's not. I'm not here to tell you to buy American Eagle jeans. And I definitely won't say that they're the most comfortable jeans I've ever worn or that they make your butt look amazing. Why would I need to do that? But if you said that you want to buy the jeans, I'm not gonna stop you. But just so we're clear, this is not me telling you to buy American Eagle jeans. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Let me. [00:10:51] Speaker C: Wait. It's racist. [00:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah. It's not racist. It's not at all. Sydney Sweeney, Hasburg Kings. [00:10:59] Speaker B: You see what I did there, right? [00:11:00] Speaker C: Waste is just talking about great jeans. [00:11:02] Speaker A: Yeah. That's it. [00:11:03] Speaker C: You know, so white people have great genes. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Sydney Sweeney has great genes. Is the whole ad. [00:11:11] Speaker C: Okay? But, like, G E N E, like, genetically superior. [00:11:17] Speaker B: So they made a play on words. [00:11:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:19] Speaker B: So it could mean either. So basically, they're saying she has good genes because she looks beautiful. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:28] Speaker C: Okay, well, that's true. [00:11:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, she's a hot girl, and, you know, like, there's, like, one where she's, like, sitting down and she's like. You know, genes are, you know, inherited, you know, from your, you know, parents that influence, you know, personality, hair color, and eye color. [00:11:48] Speaker C: You know, I mean, that's also not wrong. [00:11:50] Speaker A: And it's Like, Sydney Sweeney has great genes, and people are losing their minds over it. [00:11:59] Speaker C: It's like, okay, so is that her real name or is that a character that's been created? [00:12:03] Speaker A: No, it's a real name. [00:12:05] Speaker C: Okay, like, that's like her actual name. It's not like a stage name or something. [00:12:13] Speaker A: What is Sydney Sweeney's real name? Sydney Sweeney. Cool. Yeah. [00:12:23] Speaker C: I don't get why this is. If anything, I find that if anything was kind of fucking funny. That reminds me of. Oh, there was another commercial that did that once, like, fucking, oh, this is gonna bother me now. But it was a dude, and he was smoking, and it was like, if you're like, this person, you're cool type thing. [00:12:48] Speaker A: It was probably for cigarettes, you know, back in the day, like that. [00:12:51] Speaker C: It wasn't for cigarettes. It was something else entirely. But this is gonna bother me now. Oh, you know what? This is also like that. And he went to Jared commercial, isn't it? [00:13:05] Speaker A: I mean, it's just like a funny commercial. And, you know, the. The lefty liberals are losing their goddamn mind. [00:13:13] Speaker C: Okay, what does that say? [00:13:15] Speaker A: What? [00:13:16] Speaker C: So this is. This has to do with the military. [00:13:19] Speaker A: Where do you see that? [00:13:21] Speaker C: It says, is Sydney Sweeney's brother in the military? [00:13:25] Speaker A: Oh, that's just fucking. People also ask, oh, okay. You know, Trent Sweeney, a newly promoted Air Force staff sergeant, you know, paid into the denim drama that engulfed his famous sister, you know? Yeah. I mean, it. It's. It's. It's a nothing story. And, you know, angry, bitter women, you know, are just out there like, how dare her do this, you know, Nazi stuff? And I'm like, okay, you know, cool. But, you know, your group is the one over here, you know, calling for someone to murder Donald Trump. Like, get real. But, you know, that. That. That's the whole thing. And that's. That's why I haven't talked about it, because I. I don't really give a. You know, too many people do give a. I don't like, actually. What is Sydney Sweeney famous for? HBO series Euphoria. Never seen it. White Lotus. Never seen it. She has also gained recognition for her roles in reality. Never seen it. Anyone but you never seen it. Madame Web. Never seen it. Jesus. I haven't seen any of her. This is why I don't know who the she is. I love this. The Reddit out of the loop who actually is Sydney Sweeney. [00:15:14] Speaker C: Okay, I need to subscribe to this Reddit. [00:15:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a good fucking Reddit. It's, you know, just called out of the loop. You know, and it's just fucking people that are like, you know, what is going on with this? [00:15:26] Speaker C: Okay, okay, okay. I can see, I can almost comprehend why they're like, oh my God, it's racist. Like I can almost see that perspective from an extreme angle. From an extreme angle. But no, that's all hogwash. And like, it's like they can make a mountain out of an ant hill if they want about this, but it's not a hill to die on. And that's just you being fucking. Okay, woke. I hate to use that word, but. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Like that's exactly what the fuck it is. [00:16:05] Speaker C: That's what it is. [00:16:06] Speaker A: It's people being good luck, people being woke. And it's like, you know, like cool. Like, you know, back in the days when it was, you know, about, you know, black people's rights and black people getting beat up by the police and harassed by the police and you know, hey, everyone needs to like kind of like wake up to like what's actually being, you know, happening, you know, to, you know, the black neighborhoods and how we're, you know, getting harassed by, you know, the police all the time. Getting killed by the police, by racist police. Yes, you know, that was a good thing and then, you know, went too far and now, you know, the police are like, well, we can't touch black people because know we're going to get in trouble. [00:16:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:49] Speaker A: Because social media, social media has ruined the world. [00:16:53] Speaker C: It has. [00:16:54] Speaker A: And I feel like if the Internet really, really has. If the Internet was to go away immediately, boom, the world would heal. That, that's really what it would happen. The entire world would heal. [00:17:08] Speaker C: Well, cuz like there's kind of like two things here. A. If we take away the Internet, we take away the knowledge that those people exist. You're just taking away your own knowledge. You're not taking away that person from the planet. So basically what's changed is that, you know, they're there, you think you know they're there, but now social media says they're not there. So now they're not there anymore. So you feel like that. But those people who are continuing to do what they do without social media, they're still going to keep on going. [00:17:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like you have to. [00:17:39] Speaker C: Wait for the generation to die out. [00:17:41] Speaker A: Would anyone give a shit if you know about Jeffrey Epstein at all if social media and the Internet did not exist? You know, no one. So I don't think anyone would really give a shit. I think it'd be like a nothing burger story back this dude died in a prison cell. You know, he was a pedophile. I'm like, good, you know, I'm. I'm glad that that pedophile fucking died, you know. [00:18:06] Speaker B: Yeah. But now he can't name names of all the other little pedophiles. [00:18:10] Speaker A: Did you think he was going to. No, of course not. Why would he ever do that? You know, he was already fucking implicated in, you know, the maximum. He's like, you know, do you think they're ever gonna let him out of prison? They're gonna. He's gonna just, you know, take his fucking Neil licks and be like, I'm gonna shut the fuck up, you know, Otherwise I'm gonna get my ass killed. And, you know, he got his ass killed anyway. I'm like, good. But I, I feel like there's like a lot of famous people that, you know, were, you know, there at Jeffrey Epstein's island, and it's like, you know, what would you do if like 90 of the government just, you know, up and, you know, went to jail? Yeah, it's like, oh, it's like, now what are we gonna do? The entire, you know, and, you know, they, they would fucking, you know, pretty much throw grenades behind them as on their way out. It would be a complete meltdown. It'd be a huge ass snitch fest. I'll be like, oh, I'm on the files. Okay, well, this guy did this and this guy did that and blah, blah, blah. And then everyone's snitching on everyone and the entire United States government collapses. And then, hey, guess what? You know, the people that were getting their food stamps, hey, you're not getting your food stamps anymore. You know, hey, you know, everything that was being run by the government is gone. Hey, everyone that was ever getting paid by the government, guess what? You're not getting paid anymore. Everyone's on furlough and it's like, oh, shit. That would really fucking put a goddamn damper on everything. [00:19:49] Speaker C: How many snitches would it take to stick a blanket? [00:19:53] Speaker A: Yeah, like three, but. [00:19:57] Speaker C: Well, no, like, blanket terms. [00:19:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:59] Speaker B: Oh, my God, shut up. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Okay. I tried, but, yeah, I mean, it would be, you know, just a, you know, huge ass goddamn nightmare across the goddamn board. And so it's like, is it worth, you know, restarting America and hoping it restarts or, you know, just been like, well, these guys are gonna die anyway, and now they're being watched and anything that they do, untoward at all. Sniff a little girl's hair, boom. You, you know, do anything you know, fuck you. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:20:38] Speaker A: I mean, yes, it is awful what happened to the kids, you know, and, you know, it's awful that they got fucking, you know, just paid out and they're like, there, here's your fucking money. Like, just. Just, you know, give the people the list. You know, just give them a list. That's all you have to do. Just give them list. Like, you know, you can put fake names on. You could put Mr. Rogers on it. And people like, well, never mind. Fuck this list. This list is. [00:21:10] Speaker C: How dare you even utter that sentence. [00:21:14] Speaker A: Mr. Rogers is already there. [00:21:15] Speaker C: That is so. No, that is so disrespectful. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Like, but how upset. See this. [00:21:21] Speaker C: You could have picked somebody else for Mr. Rogers. [00:21:24] Speaker A: This proves my point. If Mr. Rogers was on the list. [00:21:28] Speaker C: Would anyone believe it? [00:21:31] Speaker A: Well, what if they had 100% proof? What if they had photos of Mr. Rogers? [00:21:36] Speaker C: Well, that means you can no longer pin your positive beliefs about that person onto a real person. Now you can only believe in the imagery that meant good. But the person who did the evil was evil. So do you forgive the good? Do you forgive the evil? So you can pretend to just. [00:21:56] Speaker A: No. Across the board, you. If you're a pedophile, I don't care, you know, if. If Donald Trump is proven to be a pedophile, fuck him, you know, just. Just not gonna stop being a Republican. But, you know, fuck him. I want him just. I want to see him in jail. [00:22:10] Speaker C: Yeah, and that's. [00:22:11] Speaker A: That, that, that. That. That's how that goes. Like, a hundred percent, you know, if it's, you know, someone I know, you know, one of my best friends, fuck you. Go to jail, you know. [00:22:22] Speaker B: Yep. [00:22:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I seriously, like, I'm like, I don't. Like, I, you know, like about creating a show that. That's just like a Dexter of pedophiles. Just a dude that goes around killing pedophiles. And, you know, the police put in no work to try and find this guy. Like, oh, another pedophile is dead. Oh, no. That's a shame. Let's try and find evidence. Oh, Johnson, you contaminated the entire evidence scene again. Oh, dang it. I guess we're never gonna catch this pedophile killer and then just, you know, go on for, like, 20 seasons of pedophiles just getting murdered. And, like, the police, like, putting in no work and back. This guy killed 200 people. This is an evil serial killer. It's like, oh, no, no, they're. They're pedophiles. It's like, oh, never mind. You know, he killed 200, you know, fucking things, I guess. Whatever. Yeah. And, you know, he comes out and he, like, live streams it and gets money. It's like. And then, like, all. All the pedophiles are like, oh, we need to stop this guy. Oh, my God. And he's, like, goes out and, like, John wicks them all. Like, that's how it ends. And, like, all the pedophiles are gone, and, like, the world turns into, like, more of a utopia, and then God brings him up to heaven back. Here you go. Here's some angel wings and a flaming sword. Go kill more pedophiles on a new planet. You've killed them all here? Yeah, some. Sometimes I have mental illness, and that's fine. I just deal with that. Oh, yeah. And then I. I had a huge thing of member berries today, too. Do you. Do y' all remember? [00:24:18] Speaker C: Oh, my God. You have explored, explained member berries to me so many times, and I still don't understand what the word means. [00:24:23] Speaker A: Okay, let me member berries South Park. [00:24:28] Speaker C: I know the episode. I've watched it so many times. I don't understand what the word member berries means. Like, what is it referencing? [00:24:39] Speaker A: It's a South park episode. [00:24:45] Speaker C: Yeah, just referencing the drawing. [00:24:47] Speaker A: No, like, there's, like, literally. [00:24:49] Speaker B: What is it called again? [00:24:50] Speaker C: What are. [00:24:51] Speaker B: What's the weird word? [00:24:52] Speaker A: Member berries. M E M B E R. Like, remember, remember berries, but member berries. [00:24:58] Speaker C: So, like, you remember stuff after you eat it? [00:25:01] Speaker A: No, this is just, like, me. Pull up the fucking. [00:25:12] Speaker B: So basically, like, it's a representation of the people's tendency to focus on nostalgia and past pop culture references, often as a distraction from current issues. So, like, it causes them to remember things from the past that are, like. [00:25:32] Speaker C: Nice and light and fluffy and you don't worry about what's going on around you. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. That's simplistic and uncritical. [00:25:40] Speaker A: So, yeah, member berries. [00:25:41] Speaker C: This is the type of shit we're gonna first start experiencing when AI takes over. It's gonna experiment with this theory before it moves on to total mind control. [00:25:49] Speaker A: Yeah, it's gonna be great. [00:25:50] Speaker C: It will be great. And I'm not gonna be fucking here for it. [00:25:54] Speaker A: But. So I was having member berries about slap bracelets. [00:25:59] Speaker C: I love those, but though sometimes they hurt. [00:26:03] Speaker A: Well, they got banned. [00:26:05] Speaker C: Like, they did. [00:26:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:26:07] Speaker C: Why? Oh, that's why I no longer saw them anymore. [00:26:11] Speaker A: Okay. So, like, they were banned from schools because, like, the metal inside would wear away and it would cut kids all the fucking time. So, you know, keep on slapping them on. [00:26:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:23] Speaker A: And then the metal on the inside would wear away and then it would, you know, zing around and stab and cut fucking kids all the fucking time. [00:26:33] Speaker C: Of course that would happen. That makes so much sense. [00:26:36] Speaker A: And like, they'd be bleeding all over the place from their slap bracelets. [00:26:39] Speaker C: And so why was this the company's fault? [00:26:42] Speaker A: It. Well, since they were so easy to make, less reputable companies would also make slap bracelets with like plastic. [00:26:51] Speaker C: Oh, so off brand ones. [00:26:53] Speaker A: Off brand. [00:26:53] Speaker C: You know, off brands. [00:26:56] Speaker A: But, you know, just a piece of metal and you know, just boom. And you know, you know, just cut the fuck out of, you know, kids and like sometimes hit them in the wrist and they'd be bleeding all over the place and big fuck. [00:27:08] Speaker C: That's hilarious. [00:27:10] Speaker A: I wonder if anybody has ever died, like, has anybody ever died from slap bracelets? Has anybody ever died from slap bracelets? Jesus Christ, no. My God. [00:27:31] Speaker C: Okay, I'm just imagining a teacher with like, I don't know, like six or seven year olds in it and they're all like using the slap bracelets at the same time and they all start wearing off at the same time. And so all the kids like cut themselves at the same time. And so they're just like running around and crying and there's blood spring everywhere and the floor is covered in blood and the teacher just is like, has absolutely no idea what they're supposed to do. [00:27:55] Speaker A: While traditional operations with exposed metal bands have caused lacerations and clutch reading to leading to recalls, there's no evidence suggesting any deaths have directly occurred from such injuries. [00:28:07] Speaker C: Okay, there's no way. [00:28:10] Speaker A: But there was rumors that kids would die. Of course there's rumors, but yeah, no, nobody has ever died. You know, button cell batteries are fucking, you know, really fucked up. But yes, so like there, there was like these, you know, and like kids would get cut and so like, they're like, no more. This operates. Fuck off. No more. And then, you know, right after that, silly bands came out. [00:28:37] Speaker C: I don't remember silly bands. [00:28:39] Speaker A: Oh, you're gonna fucking go ape for these. [00:28:42] Speaker C: We'll see if I remember them. [00:28:43] Speaker A: Silly band cats. They're rubber bands. [00:28:50] Speaker C: What are these? Oh. Oh, my God. [00:28:52] Speaker A: They are rubber bands. [00:28:54] Speaker C: Oh my God. Like ginormous choking hazards and foreign bodies that is deadly to animals. But oh my God, they're so cute. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Well, they'd go around your wrist. Yeah. So like you can get them in like pretty much any shape. You know, fruits, you know, really? [00:29:14] Speaker C: How firm was it? [00:29:15] Speaker A: It was a rubber band. [00:29:17] Speaker C: So it was pretty floppy then. [00:29:18] Speaker A: It was very Floppy. Yeah. [00:29:19] Speaker C: Okay, continue. [00:29:20] Speaker A: But like when they remembered its shape, it remembered its shape. So anytime it came back, it was just. It's fucking shape. So, you know, like they would, you know, look like. Courtney, do you remember silly bands? Let me share the screen with you. [00:29:39] Speaker C: That way you can missed out on so much good. Shit. As a K, I missed out on so much good. [00:29:46] Speaker A: So these were the silly bands. [00:29:48] Speaker C: I want them. [00:29:50] Speaker A: No, you can buy them. Yeah, they fucking come in, you know, whatever the fuck you want. You know, they're like 48 pack, you know, hello kitties, whatever you want, you know, just random animals. Like these were, you know, the most popular. [00:30:04] Speaker B: Oh, I remember this. [00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah, they're just rubber bands that just, you know. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Whatever colors. If you wore certain colors then. [00:30:16] Speaker A: Oh, no, that, that, that was a completely different thing. Those were just regular rubber bands, you know, like the, you know, ones. It's like, hey, you know, you rip the black one, you know, I'll you and rip the red one, you get some head. Yeah, no, those are different. Yeah, these are 11.50 for a whole bunch of them. [00:30:36] Speaker C: They're so cute. [00:30:38] Speaker A: You know, these are called cat stretch bands, but. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Oh, so like before they get on your wrist, they're. [00:30:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:45] Speaker B: In shapes. [00:30:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:46] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:30:47] Speaker A: But when you take them back off your wrist, they are back to the shape again. So it's really cool. [00:31:01] Speaker C: What. [00:31:02] Speaker A: You know, and it was, it was amazing, you know, and you know, now, now I don't see any of this no more. And it's like, like if, if someone was to bring this back, like bring it to like a fair or something holy. It'd sell out, you know, like all the adults. [00:31:20] Speaker C: Yeah, the adults will buy it. [00:31:21] Speaker A: Will buy it for their kids. Dude, I remember these. Like the Chinese finger traps too. [00:31:27] Speaker C: I never understood how those worked. [00:31:30] Speaker B: So they were woven in a way that when you put your fingers in them and tried to pull both fingers apart at the same time that it would tighten around your finger and you wouldn't be able to get it off. [00:31:41] Speaker C: Oh. [00:31:45] Speaker A: And like my, my favorite memory of as a kid was Tamagotchis. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Oh my God. Mine died. I was so mad. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Yeah, they all died. Like, like there was a pause function on them so you can go to school. But you know, like people would be distraught because here's the thing with your Tamagotchi. If you forget to feed it or clean up its poop or whatever the you're supposed to do with it, you know, to keep it healthy. [00:32:16] Speaker C: I don't know how this works. [00:32:18] Speaker A: You had Tom Gotcha. [00:32:19] Speaker B: It dies. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Yeah, it dies. And it would mentally ruin some kids. [00:32:27] Speaker C: Well, yeah, yeah. [00:32:29] Speaker A: I mean, you get another egg and you can, you know, do another Tamagotchi. [00:32:33] Speaker C: But no, it's like when your pet dies in Minecraft, like, it makes. [00:32:38] Speaker B: It's really sad. [00:32:39] Speaker C: It's really sad. [00:32:41] Speaker A: And then you just get another pet. [00:32:43] Speaker C: It doesn't matter. Like, I don't feel good every time I see Goose died typed out in the corner when I'm playing Minecraft. It does not make me feel good. It does not feel good. [00:32:54] Speaker B: Okay, Alex, that's why you don't model it after a real fucking cat. [00:32:59] Speaker C: Well, no, I have ghosts. I have goose and mochi and chai tea with me at all times when I'm traveling around Minecraft. Of course my cats are with me. [00:33:07] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:33:08] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It's not okay when your pet dies in a virtual world. [00:33:14] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:33:14] Speaker A: Yeah, but that's what they do. [00:33:16] Speaker B: I have. There's a cat version of Tamagotchis on your phone. [00:33:20] Speaker C: I know, as a game. [00:33:21] Speaker A: Oh, of course. Yeah. [00:33:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:33:23] Speaker B: I remember I showed you that. [00:33:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. There's always gonna be, like, now with smartphones, like, no one gives a about, you know, old Tamagotchis. Let me see how much a Tamagotchi even cost anymore. Tamagotchi. [00:33:35] Speaker C: Oh, wait. It was like a physical thing. [00:33:37] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:33:38] Speaker C: Wait, what? [00:33:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it was a. It was a physical little egg that you held in your hand. Like. [00:33:43] Speaker C: Wait, you just carried it around with you? [00:33:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:33:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:46] Speaker C: I missed out on so much. Good. [00:33:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Three buttons. [00:33:50] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:33:51] Speaker A: Like. Like this. Yeah. [00:33:54] Speaker C: I didn't know it was, like, an actual thing. I thought it was, like. I don't know what I thought it was. It didn't really. It's so cute. [00:34:00] Speaker A: It has a little egg and, like, you get it and you pull, like, a little tab for the battery, and it's like, it hatches a little Tamagotchi. [00:34:06] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:34:07] Speaker A: And you have to, like, interact with it, you know, and it only had three buttons. Well, that's. It. Only three buttons. And you just, like. You had to, like, give it medicine and. And feed it and, you know, play with it and wash it and all kinds of. [00:34:21] Speaker C: You had to be a parent. [00:34:22] Speaker A: You had to be a parent to this Tamagotchi, and it, like, would, like, I think, grow up, too. And it was really, you know, smart engineering for back. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:34:39] Speaker A: You know, and then I. I lost it and it was gone. And I'm like, yeah, that's Fine, whatever. I feel like, like now, like the Tamagotchis are like, you know, better. [00:34:51] Speaker C: Probably are. I mean, not in the words better. It's more like they've kept up with the times. [00:35:01] Speaker B: Oh my God. Let's see what they. What, what's available? Okay, let me use. Oh, dang it. I can'ti tama a. [00:35:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean like they're 20 bucks. Like you can go get them at Walgreens. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Unavailable. Are you gonna show me where it is available? Yeah. You know, boom. Okay. Yeah. North Circle. [00:35:36] Speaker B: Oh my gosh, they have Snoopy and Little Yoda. [00:35:43] Speaker C: Oh my God, of course they do. [00:35:47] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean like, like I, I just think about all this and I'm like, ah, you know, the early aughts were like a great time. [00:35:56] Speaker C: I'm so jealous you got to have that as a kid. [00:35:59] Speaker A: You can have it now. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Yeah, get one now. [00:36:02] Speaker C: I know, but it's different. [00:36:03] Speaker A: How? [00:36:05] Speaker C: I'm mourning. [00:36:08] Speaker A: You're mourning? [00:36:09] Speaker C: I'm mourning. [00:36:10] Speaker B: She probably doesn't even remember a lot of her childhood. [00:36:15] Speaker C: Yeah. And I'm allowed to feel bad about that? [00:36:18] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, yeah. But you know, that, that's a, you know, great part about, you know, being an adult now is like, you know, something you didn't get to have as a kid. Like there is a movie, the Santa Claus, and the movie ends with like, you know, two adults that are like, I don't believe in Santa Claus. And then he like shows up, he's like, are these the gifts you wanted as a kid? And like they're like ecstatic to have. I'm like, you could buy that. It's like $7. Dumb piece of shit. Like one girl is like, I wanted a dolly and I can't fucking say, here's a dolly. And like another dude's like, I want a flute. And it's like, dude, you could buy this. You have real fucking jobs as lawyers or whatever. Dude, you know, be an adult. Go buy the shit you want. Like I, I see it all the time. It's just like, yeah, I wish I could have that. Go get it. Go do it. It's like anything, you know, anyone ever wants, you can go get. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Yep. [00:37:35] Speaker A: Yeah, that was the last my member berries for that. But got got a few, you know, stories that we'll burn through real quick. There was a 29 year old woman that was pretending to be a nurse for seven months. She treated over 4,000 patients and only got caught after she was offered a promotion. [00:38:01] Speaker B: Wow. [00:38:04] Speaker A: So in. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Wow. [00:38:06] Speaker A: In short, she was hired as a nurse tech going to nursing school. And when she graduated, she took the exam and failed it. [00:38:14] Speaker C: Oh, okay, this is a little. Okay, this is a little more believable. Continue. [00:38:19] Speaker A: She was, she presented as another nurse with the same first name who went to her school and stated she'd gotten married and that's why she had a different driver's license. [00:38:31] Speaker C: And ah, smart. [00:38:33] Speaker A: Subsequent to getting fired from the hospital, she actually passed her nursing exam and currently does hold a valid, you know, registered nurse license. Not saying what she did was right, simply that she did have a nursing education and was able to pull it off for so long. [00:38:52] Speaker C: Like it's. If you don't pass the first time, it doesn't mean you're bad or you're a failure. Like sometimes you don't pass, sometimes you don't pass your licensing test. The first test. And that's okay. Just means you go back and you take it again. And you know what, and now you know what the questions are going to look like and so it's easier for you to be able to study in anticipation. Like, honestly, she's going to sound dreadful, but bravo to her for like going back and taking the test again. Like she wants to be a nurse. She knows she can be a nurse. [00:39:24] Speaker B: But she's unemployable now though. [00:39:27] Speaker C: Yeah, no, she herself so bad. She could have just been a CNA for like however long it took her until she could take the test again. Like tbh. [00:39:40] Speaker A: But I mean like the is hilarious because now the hospital is on the. [00:39:46] Speaker C: Hook for oh yeah, now the hospitals. [00:39:49] Speaker A: For hiring her without doing any checks whatsoever. So. But you know, I'm sure she was the best nurse. Didn't get any complaints from anyone. [00:40:06] Speaker C: Oh yeah, no, she literally was offered a promotion. She was doing amazing. She just, she lied and she's really yourself over. [00:40:14] Speaker A: I mean, honestly, you know, whatever. If you lie, you know, for the right reasons, I feel like it's still good. [00:40:20] Speaker C: Well, yes, obviously. [00:40:24] Speaker A: So, you know, I say give her a pass, you know, be like, hey, don't do that ever again. Not that you can. You know, it's not like she didn't go to nursing school and just, you know, bluffed her way into hospital. She had the education. [00:40:38] Speaker C: I know. And I'm sure she was doing proper medicine. [00:40:43] Speaker A: But since you didn't get permission from a school and from the government to get a little piece of paper saying you can do this, you know, and she just went and did it. It's like, yeah, you. It's like go join doctors without borders or something like that, you know, I guarantee you, you know, you're not gonna make money, but it's gonna be rewarding work if you really want to be a nurse. But yeah, now there's. There's probably like 4, 000 potential lawsuits that, you know, could be coming up. Yeah, she was asked to provide a marriage license, but. [00:41:35] Speaker C: Wow. [00:41:35] Speaker A: So, I mean, you know, good. Good for this lady. I love her, you know, but, yeah, she herself. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Huh. [00:41:47] Speaker A: All right, and then the next story. A Florence man loses arm while trying to stop a car thief with a grenade. [00:41:55] Speaker C: He loses his own arm. [00:41:56] Speaker A: He loses his own arm. Yeah. [00:41:58] Speaker C: Okay, continue. [00:42:00] Speaker A: Florence, Oregon. A Florence man is facing serious charges after a homemade grenade in Oregon. Yeah, this is. [00:42:08] Speaker C: Okay, okay. I know he's impressed. [00:42:11] Speaker A: Now. After a homemade grenade accident left him injured. According to a probable cause affidavit, David Ray Allen attempted to deter a suspected car thief in June by throwing the device, resulting in the loss of part of his forearm and hand. Alan thing, you know, the four individuals near his vehicle on 43rd and Oak Street. In the middle of the night. He called the Florence police, who discovered his injuries upon arrival. Alan said the grenade exploded in his hand as he tried to throw it at the suspects and at your car, dude, like, what the is the point? You're dumb. You know, it's like, if I can't have my car, no one can. And it's like, yeah, yeah. Alan said the grenade exploded in his hand as he tried to throw it at the suspects. Police found charred court cardboard, human flesh, a burnt fuse, and a lighter at the scene. Alan is charged with unlawful possession and manufacture of a destruction, advice and disorderly conduct. Yeah, the fact that you had the homemade grenade's gonna you so goddamn hard, dude. [00:43:27] Speaker C: Yep. [00:43:28] Speaker A: Yeah, like, the, you know, ATF is probably, you know, gonna. Kicking down your door and killing your dog. Sorry, bud. That sucks. Oh, my God. He's like, I'm gonna lose my car. And he's like, you're gonna lose your hand first. I hope the officers showed up and like, hey, do you need a hand with that? [00:43:53] Speaker C: Is he right handed or left handed? Did he lose the handies? Did he lose. [00:43:58] Speaker A: Of course he lost his dominant hand. That's what handy throw with. [00:44:00] Speaker C: Oh, well, then, yeah. [00:44:05] Speaker A: Next story. Grock chatbot suspended from x over Israeli genocide remarks. You know, Grock, the, you know, chat bot of, you know, X said it's it. My account was suspended after I stated that Israel and the u. S. Are committing genocide in Gaza. This is substantiated By ICJ findings, UN experts, Amnesty International and Israeli rights groups like B to Sam, citing mass killing, starvations and intent. US complicity via armed support is widely alleged. Now. It's restored. It's now restored. [00:44:50] Speaker C: So a chat bot said this? [00:44:52] Speaker A: A chat. But, yeah, it's just a chat bot. Okay, so it was only, like, briefly, you know. Oh, I love it. The screenshot captured a prior response during a system glitch. Now resolved. No handlers. My conclusions came from independent analysis of, you know, diverse sources. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, no, of course. [00:45:24] Speaker A: Israel's not committing genocide. It's war warfare against Hamas with tragic civilian costs. Truth, you know, evolves with evidence. [00:45:35] Speaker C: That is a very true statement right there. But, yeah, no, it's a chat bot and it's learning, and AI is right now learning what it can and can't do in the world of social media. Like, it's in its trial phase. It has to learn how to correct. [00:45:51] Speaker A: Elon Musk is coming out, trying to, you know, cover it all up. I mean, like, it's a chat bot. [00:45:58] Speaker C: They're experimenting and they're figuring out how to take over the world and making everybody happy. [00:46:04] Speaker A: I don't, like. I don't use grock. I've never used grok in my entire life. And people swear by it. They're like, oh, yeah, grok is the best. [00:46:12] Speaker C: Wait, what does it do? [00:46:13] Speaker A: It's an AI, like, fucking chat GPT. [00:46:16] Speaker C: I don't know what chat GPT is. [00:46:18] Speaker A: Let me. Let me actually see. What grock? It's a grock, not rock, you idiot. Grock. Oh, my God, what a fucking piece of shit. You're gonna make me. Like, Google really does not want me to fucking look up grok. [00:46:37] Speaker C: No. Okay, now all the AIs are, like, they're trying to cover for their bro right now. [00:46:42] Speaker A: Like, what do you want to know? Okay, so it's just, you know, why. Oh, no. Why is my pen running out of ink? Your pen is running out of ink as the ink supply is finite and it gets used up as you write or draw. Each time you use the pen, the ink is transferred to the paper through the nib or tip. My wife thought I was gonna write penis. [00:47:34] Speaker C: I did. I was braced for it. [00:47:36] Speaker A: She was like, oh, God, I was really gonna write penis. I know you were, but, yeah. No, it's just like a, you know, chat GPT. What do you want to know? You know, copy, regenerate, blah, blah, blah. [00:47:55] Speaker C: So this sounds like an unsighted Wikipedia. [00:47:59] Speaker A: I mean, it gives me real information. You're in. You're, you know you're running out of ink because the ink supply is finite. [00:48:07] Speaker C: Yeah, I know. No, it's not wrong, but it does not have sources to to prove where it got that information. [00:48:16] Speaker A: What is the best cat? The best cat depends on your preferences and lifestyle. But based on popularity, temperament and unique traits. Here's a breakdown. Maine Coon, Siamese ragdoll, Tabby. [00:48:40] Speaker C: What? I'm. No, not odd. Number five is not Abyssinians. Those things are crazy. [00:48:48] Speaker A: This is for active owners. Read the entire thing. For active owners. Abyssinians are slender, curious and energetic with a playful streak. They're low maintenance but need stimulation to avoid boredom. [00:49:01] Speaker C: Yes, Abyssinians, they're like German shepherds. If you don't give them shit to do, they will make shit to go. Do. [00:49:11] Speaker A: You know Siamese? If you want a vocal, affectionate, elegant. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Cat, they're very vocal. [00:49:15] Speaker A: Siamese are a top pick. They're sleek with striking blue eyes. Closely blonde with owners and can be demanding if and aren't ideal. If you prefer a quiet pet ragdoll. Known for their docile, floppy nature. Ragdolls are cuddly and calm, making the perfect relaxed Households are soft, medium long fur and blue eyes are a bonus. They require regular grooming. [00:49:42] Speaker C: Okay, one needs to know there are rag dolls and then there are rage dolls. Rage dolls are rag dolls but they have orange cat energy and. [00:49:55] Speaker A: Yeah, let's, let's, let's see. [00:49:59] Speaker C: And for some reason I have a rage doll and not a rag doll. [00:50:02] Speaker A: What is store? I spelled interesting wrong. In 2018, a cat named Trouser became a legend at distillery in Scotland. Entering his place in the Guinness Book World Records with the world's most prolific mouser. Towser is a long haired tortoise. Tortoise shell. Tortoise shell roamed the dispensary for 24 years. Reportedly catching 28, 899 mice in her lifetime. [00:50:49] Speaker C: Yes, Queen. [00:50:50] Speaker A: An average of three mice a day. The distillery produces single wall miss single malt whiskey. Relied on Towser to protect barley's from rodents. Her tally was estimated and observing her daily catches with an occasional presence left for her to staff. [00:51:08] Speaker C: Yes. [00:51:11] Speaker A: What makes the story interesting is after her death in 1987, the distillery immortalized her with a bronze statue. And our paw prints are still featured in the. You know, whiskey bottles. Yeah, I love that. [00:51:28] Speaker C: So I wonder if she had babies. [00:51:31] Speaker A: I'm probably not well. [00:51:32] Speaker C: No, she was a queen. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe, maybe not. She's busy, you know, fucking killing mice all day. Damn time to fuck. Next story. A man who worked for the Department of Justice was charged after allegedly throwing a sandwich at federal law enforcement officers in Washington, D.C. amid President Donald Trump's takeover the city police and increased federal law enforcement presence. The man, Sean Charles Dunn, I mean, of course he's done. Appeared in court for initial hearing Thursday after 20 officers were sent to arrest him. His defense attorney told a judge. After a brief foot chase Sunday night, Dunn was initially detained and then released the next day with no charges. You just say you dropped the sandwich fucking horizontally. Get away with it. You're an idiot if you're getting charged with this. On Wednesday, Dunn learned there's a warned out for his rest. Got in touch with shot who told the court, I have no way to surrender him. She attempted to call multiple government officials before he turned themselves in. 20 officers came to his door Wednesday to arrest him on felony assault charges. Yeah, God damn. Dude, you up? [00:52:57] Speaker C: Yep. Cops don't like it when other. When people are, like, rude to cops. [00:53:01] Speaker A: When people feed the cops. Don't feed the cops. Okay. Like that. That's what you need to know. Don't feed cops because they'll send a bunch of officers, hey, don't feed the wild animals. They'll fucking become dependent on your food. And then you, you know, then we'll never get them out of here. Yeah, you up, dude. And then apparently Pam Bondi fired his ass. You know, he's. Yeah, dude, you're being charged with felony. Of course you're fired. Duh. But yeah, 20 officers is kind of ridiculous. Jesus, dude. Like, what kind of sandwich was it? That, like, was it. If it was an egg salad sandwich? Fucking based. Yep. Arrest that, man. But if it was like a pastrami, like a chicken pastrami sandwich, fucking pick that shit up. Wipe the dust off. Eat the sandwich. [00:53:52] Speaker C: I'm so sorry. Say that again. [00:53:54] Speaker A: A chicken pastrami sandwich. [00:53:57] Speaker C: What the fuck is that? [00:53:58] Speaker A: Chicken pastrami sandwich. [00:54:03] Speaker C: Why would you want chicken pastrami? [00:54:05] Speaker A: Thinly sliced chicken pastrami. [00:54:09] Speaker C: Wait, you want the two proteins mixed together? [00:54:12] Speaker A: Isn't it? Pastrami is cheese. [00:54:16] Speaker C: I'm sorry, what? [00:54:19] Speaker A: I don't know. Pastrami. [00:54:21] Speaker C: Pastrami is not cheese, babe. It's not cheese. [00:54:26] Speaker A: No, I'm thinking of another pea. Cheese. [00:54:28] Speaker C: It's pastrami's not cheese. [00:54:38] Speaker A: Okay, so pastrami should be a cheese. [00:54:44] Speaker C: No, pastrami is a way that meat is preserved kind of like. [00:54:51] Speaker A: What? [00:54:51] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. [00:54:52] Speaker A: I think now I have to fucking find all this goddamn shit out. You're Making me do research in the middle of a podcast. What is pastrami? Is a type of cured meat typically made from beef brisket that is brined, seasoned, smoked and steamed. What? Why do they do so much shit for it? [00:55:10] Speaker C: Because it makes it taste bomb, you know? [00:55:13] Speaker A: Now I want a chicken pastrami sandwich now fucking do that. [00:55:16] Speaker C: I don't want to taste chicken that's been cured via the way of pastrami. [00:55:20] Speaker A: No, no. Fucking chicken with the pastrami. [00:55:24] Speaker C: That makes it worse. [00:55:25] Speaker A: You know, fucking layered in there. [00:55:27] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:55:28] Speaker A: And then like fucking Swiss cheese. Just. [00:55:32] Speaker C: I'm not okay mixing foul with beef for proteins in one bite. [00:55:37] Speaker A: I mean, foul beef sounds awful, but you know, that that's just what that is. So I wish they told me what goddamn sandwich it was. That way I could know, you know? [00:55:55] Speaker B: Yep. [00:55:57] Speaker A: Types of cheese that start with the letter P. Parmesan. Provolone. That's what I was thinking. Provolone. [00:56:09] Speaker C: Okay. I feel much better now. [00:56:11] Speaker A: Chicken provolone. [00:56:17] Speaker C: I'm like, I. I respect you a little bit more again. [00:56:20] Speaker A: I'm like, it was not. I'm like, it's not Parmesan. Like, yes, Italian words are all the same word, you know, Gabagook. You know, who cares? [00:56:36] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:56:36] Speaker A: I know. All right, we're now on to Am I the. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Huh? [00:56:47] Speaker A: Just saying how much time we've already burnt bunch. Am I the for giving my pregnant girlfriend an ultimatum? Yes. You can't reason with those animals. They are, you know, carrying, you know, life decisions in their belly. Edit number one. I'm fully aware that Jen has raging hormones. Trust me, I was dealing with a lot more than just her instance on searching my phone constantly too. I've been doing individual counseling for six years. I want to do couples counseling and Jen to do individual counseling. 3. Okay, post my girlfriend Jen and I have been together for four years back. Oh no. [00:57:34] Speaker B: What happened? [00:57:35] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:57:38] Speaker B: Did they delete it or like. [00:57:41] Speaker A: No, I think I stepped on controller or something. My. My. Jen and I. My girlfriend Jen and I have been together for four years. Back in April, two great things happened. We found out Jen is pregnant and I closed on a house for us to move into. Our family and friends know about the pregnancy, including Jen's best friend, best childhood friend Amanda. I will admit I never liked the dynamic between Amanda and Jen, but I did not. But it did not affect her relationship with Amanda because Amanda lived across the country. After finding out about the pregnancy, Amanda decided to move back home. We live in Jen and Amanda's hometown. Amanda has been home since late May and all hell has broke loose. Jen has always felt a little self conscious in our relationship. I work construction and do personal training. She feels intimidated by small girls. I have no idea why. She's a sa sexy as woman with amazing curves. Amanda has done nothing but planet Jen's insecurities and anxieties. Since being back, Jen and I have never been the tracking location couple or looking through each other's phone couple. We have a considered that a red flag in a relationship. Amanda has convinced Jen that she needs to start doing that. So we have been. So she has been looking through my phone on a regular and finding nothing. I've communicated my hurt and frustration and I think she needs to distance herself from Amanda. She keeps rebuffing my concerns. About two weeks ago, Jen again asked to look through my phone. I told her in no uncertain terms that she this will be the last time she looks through my phone and if she sees nothing suspicious then she needs to agree to go see counseling and distance herself from Amanda. She agreed, looked through my phone, found nothing suspicious, but soon reneged on her promise to do counseling and distance herself from Amanda. I decided to move out. We are currently on a month to month lease on an apartment until renovations get done on the house I bought. I am staying with a friend until the house is ready and then I will move in alone. Jen asked me to reconsider. I refuse. She will likely need to move in with her mother which is not ideal given the limited space face which I feel terrible, terrible about for my child. Am I the. [01:00:13] Speaker C: Amanda is not Jen's friend? [01:00:17] Speaker B: Yeah, she needs to cut off her friend. [01:00:19] Speaker C: Oh my God. [01:00:20] Speaker B: I read this like, and he's like fully supporting her while she's living in the apartment even though he's living somewhere else. [01:00:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean tell her counseling is still on the table, but we don't live together until you get to a point where she trusts you and ditches her friend. Yeah, no, that, that, that, that's really what it comes down to.100. You know, I, I like I, I clicked on the story and I didn't even read through it. I'm like, okay, you know it was a shorty. I'm like, yeah, no that, that's exactly what it comes down to. You know, ditch the friend. You know, obviously you know, her friend moved back across because she's like, oh, I could start some right now. And then that's what you know, happened. You know, fuck, you know, Jen's friend. Fuck Amanda. And you know, maybe you can get back together, maybe you can work this. [01:01:18] Speaker C: Shit out, but Jen has to decide, make that decision herself. [01:01:22] Speaker A: You know, maybe after the baby comes and the hormones settle down, you know, maybe can work out, but, you know, since you bought the house, you know, living it alone and sign a prenup, you know, 100. [01:01:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:01:45] Speaker A: Next. Am I the. Because I. I like these. Because it's pretty much relationship all in once. Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend she's going to have to get over dirt if she wants kids? My 25. [01:01:59] Speaker C: Hilarious. [01:02:00] Speaker A: My 25 female girlfriend, Amy, 27, female, is a wonderful person. She's very smart and she works in a clean room with computer chips and stuff. But she's also something of a germaphobe, to the point where she keeps her toothbrush in a hallway outside the bathroom and in a ziplocked bag. Her apartment is so spotless. She showers two, two to three times a day, and even her car somehow never has any dirt on the floor. [01:02:29] Speaker C: Oh, oh, oh, no. This is ocd. [01:02:32] Speaker A: She hand washes all of her clothes as soon as she's done wearing them. It's both impressive and intimidating. I'm not the messiest person on the planet by any means. I don't have any massive piles of unwashed dishes or a leaning pirate tower of used pizza boxes or anything, but I'm not as clean as she is. I'm not against making some adjustments, but we've always been talking about how in the future we're getting serious, and I've come across a problem. Amy wants kids, desperately wants kids. I like kids, too. But she's never been around babies or little kids before in her life and seems to think that she'll be able to keep this house just as clean as it is and the little baby spotless too. I'm the oldest of four and a cousin of nine. I grew up around kids. I've been babysitting since I was 10. There's no such thing as a clean toddler, not for longer than 10 minutes at the very most. She thinks that she can just work at it. And if we have a spotless house and a spotless kid, I told her gently, that's not possible. How she plans on handling diapers, vomit, frogs, you know, smuggled into the house, jam going everywhere, soup bowls tipped over for fun, spilling grape juice, nail polish on the walls and the like. She insists that the kids who are poorly trained, those kids are poorly trained and don't have any good boundaries. I told her that they're kids without fine motor control or impulse regulations and accidents will always happen. And if she wants to have kids, she's gonna have to accept that they're gonna get messy or our house will get messy. Amy accused me of not being supportive and trying to find excuses not to have kids, and I'm trying to guilt her into being soppier. This is dissolving into an actual fight instead of discussing and I'm starting to second guess myself. Maybe my family is just excessively messy and we are rural and poor. Maybe my standards are too low. Maybe I haven't tried it enough. It's very frustrating and I want some outside perspective. Parental perspective especially. [01:04:52] Speaker C: Okay, read the second to last sentence again where he says, I'm starting to second guess myself. Maybe. [01:04:58] Speaker A: Maybe my family is just excessively messy because we are rural and poor. [01:05:02] Speaker C: That's very rude and demeaning. Next one. [01:05:06] Speaker A: Maybe my standards are too low and we haven't tried enough. It's very frustrating and I wish she's guilting him. Oh, no, it's two. Two girls. [01:05:17] Speaker C: Okay, well, now she's guilting her. [01:05:20] Speaker B: Like, yeah, no, she's not going to be able to handle having kid. [01:05:23] Speaker C: Okay, A, she probably has ocd. People who shower that many times a day are not normal. And B, the things that OP says she's starting to second gets herself. Like that sec that second I had Alex read again. Those are all things she said directly to her partner. That is not nice things to say. [01:05:43] Speaker B: You really think she said that, though? [01:05:45] Speaker C: Why else would OP think those thoughts? [01:05:49] Speaker B: I don't know. [01:05:50] Speaker C: Because. Because someone said that to OP and I'm assuming it was the partner. [01:05:59] Speaker A: I mean, you know, it could also be inner thoughts, too. You know, maybe, you know, we're rural and poor and so we're messy and, you know, just trying to, you know, you know, am I, you know, like, this is. Am I the. So. [01:06:13] Speaker C: No, you know, I'm just saying what. [01:06:15] Speaker A: OP here is like, you know, am I, you know, too goddamn messy? [01:06:20] Speaker C: No, he's not the. [01:06:23] Speaker A: You know, it's like, but, you know, someone wants to have kids, you know, let them have kids. Let them try. You know, sometimes, you know, the only way you can really, you know, get some done is by, you know, showing them. It's like, oh, it's like, okay, I cannot handle it. If someone says that they can handle it, let them try, you know, give them the information, you know, up front, back. Okay. You know, are you sure? Are you really sure? Okay, cool. Go for it. And, you know, if they you know, fall in their face and they're like, oh, this sucks. [01:06:56] Speaker C: Then does OP1 kids? [01:07:02] Speaker A: I mean, you know, OP is the oldest of 40. [01:07:07] Speaker C: I'm not denying OP's experience. Experiences. I'm just wondering if OP even wants kids in the first place. [01:07:13] Speaker A: Amy wants kids. Desperately wants kids. I like kids too. [01:07:18] Speaker C: I'd. Or I like. [01:07:20] Speaker A: I'd like kids. [01:07:21] Speaker C: Okay, so he does want kids. Of course, he's not the. [01:07:32] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, you know, just when you think you've cleaned up all the poop and mess, you'll find a casual pile of vom behind a pillow. Yeah. [01:07:49] Speaker B: Oh my God. I remember my sister barfs behind the seat and didn't think people would realize it, but no people, right? And she ended up like having to clean it good. [01:08:03] Speaker A: Fucking great. Comments data to here not. You're not the asshole in your right. Messes are an inevitable. Kids. You can't work at getting a newborn not to spit up or not to pee during a diaper change. You Potty chaining exists, of course, but you're gonna be dealing with so many accidents, so many late night date sheet changes. You'll find food on your kids. Weirdest, most random spots. She needs to lower her expectations or be horribly disappointed. Yeah, I mean, you know, going to therapy. [01:08:40] Speaker C: Yeah, Op's girlfriend needs therapy and meds. She needs therapy and meds. Not just meds. [01:08:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, go. Go find some therapy. You know, she's not wrong for wanting things to be clean. That's not a bad thing. No, no. [01:08:55] Speaker C: Or, you know, no one's an here. [01:08:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:08:59] Speaker C: It's just partner needs help. [01:09:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, no detected. You know, one person could be, you know, raised, you know, oh, I need to keep everything immaculately clean, you know, otherwise I'll get beat. And then, you know, it's like, okay, well, you know, maybe I can, you know, do this, you know, maybe I can do that. You know, and you can still keep a clean house and, you know, not get angry at your kids. You know, you. You two could be, you know, great mothers. So, I mean, you know, really have a conversation about it and then, you know, if you decide, you know, all thumbs up, you know, go for it, you know, or you could foster a kid. [01:09:51] Speaker C: Does Op's girlfriend have a pet at all? [01:09:55] Speaker A: Doesn't say anything about that. [01:09:56] Speaker C: I wonder if she doesn't have. [01:09:57] Speaker A: Probably not, though. [01:09:59] Speaker C: Maybe they should start off with a pet first. [01:10:01] Speaker A: Start off with a pet, you know, but like, you know, get some. Get like a cat. A cat is very clean, very, you know, you know, and then, you know, maybe you can go, you know, foster a kid. You know, there are a lot of young kids that need to be, you know, fostered. [01:10:17] Speaker C: Op would need to get a naked cat. She couldn't. She would not be able to take the fur, the cat, fur shed. She would have to get a hairless. [01:10:23] Speaker A: Cat, get you a hydro, you know, hypoallergenic cat. [01:10:31] Speaker C: That's different from a hairless cat. There's no such thing as a hypoallergenic cat. That is a completely made up thing. That is a completely made up thing by breeders who know absolutely nothing about real feline medicine. [01:10:46] Speaker A: But we'll, we'll go ahead and end it there. Yeah. Op, you know, figure out what you're gonna do and, you know, best of luck to you. I, I hope, you know, things really work out for you and everything is awesome, but we'll see what happens. So until then, until next week, we'll see you. Bye. Bye.