Leopards Ate My Face

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I am ready. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We are back for another week of pain, and I'm your host, Alex the truck. We got my wife, not the truck. [00:00:15] Speaker C: Hello. [00:00:16] Speaker B: I. I feel like people think that's your name. It's just like, you know, I'm Alex the truck. And then like, you're like, just not the truck. [00:00:22] Speaker C: I mean, it's pretty similar where youth are identified as boy or Alex and girl Alex. Like, it's literally the most basic. It's fine definition. [00:00:31] Speaker B: And then we got Courtney from across the land. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Yep, I'm right here. [00:00:36] Speaker B: I always want to say from across the sea. And technically that's not wrong if you go the other direction. [00:00:46] Speaker A: I know, but we're on the same continent, so it doesn't really work. [00:00:49] Speaker B: I mean it. If you go another direction, you're gonna hit the Atlantic Ocean and probably the Dead Sea and then the Pacific Ocean and then, you know, you. I mean, I. I like doing things the hard way. And so, yes, technically, across the sea, but yeah. And tomorrow we are gonna go to the Colorado State Festival there for the first time in a while. [00:01:23] Speaker C: Yes. [00:01:25] Speaker B: My wife is very excited, as you can see. [00:01:27] Speaker C: Super excited. [00:01:28] Speaker B: And the last time I was there, I got wildly sick. Yeah, I. I don't know what it is. [00:01:34] Speaker C: I know why you got sick. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Why did I get sick? [00:01:36] Speaker C: So remember the only place that had free water, they were selling like mountain water, whatnot. And it was basically like freezing, ice cold. Like, it was so cold, like, and your body was so hot. And like I told and like the way I did it is like I took tiny sips and method to water warm up before going into my stomach and you just like chuck that down. And that change in temperature upset your stomach so bad. [00:02:04] Speaker B: I don't know about that, but no. [00:02:08] Speaker C: You got sick after you had the water. You were fine up until the water. [00:02:14] Speaker B: Yeah, it was like a deathly illness and it fucking sucked. So hopefully this and you know, this time it's going to be raining, you know, like a couple hours into the trip anyway. So I figure we'll go out, you know, get her face painted, ride the rides, do all the things. And I feel like, you know, four or five hours at, you know, the fair will be good enough. [00:02:41] Speaker C: We also need to eat cotton candy at least once. [00:02:43] Speaker B: Okay, we'll get you some cotton candy. Like, Like, I remember, you know, being a kid and I worked for a place that had a cotton candy machine. [00:02:56] Speaker C: Huh. [00:02:59] Speaker B: And the way you make cotton candy is you have like, sugar. Like, you know, like. Like colored sugar that you put in, like, this little hopper in the middle. It spins it around and heats it up so it turns into, like, thread. And then you, like, go around. But if you put your hand, like, down in, like, where the cotton candy is coming out, you'll just have, like, sharp fucking sugar hit your fucking hand. [00:03:26] Speaker A: Ouch. [00:03:27] Speaker B: It hurts so. Goddamn. That's why you see people daintily, like, you know, hanging above it as far away as they can fucking possibly get. And that's why they usually have the domes above it. This one did not have any fucking dome. It was just, like, you know, throwing shrapnel, sugar everywhere. But it was a good time, so. But yeah, I mean, like, that, like, I do enjoy, like, going into, like, my memories and be like, oh, you know, what did I do as a kid? And, like, I remember my mom used to work at the Chamber of Commerce. Like, this is how I got this job originally. I don't know what the Chamber of Commerce actually does. I don't think it does anything. If anyone can tell me what the fuck a Chamber of Commerce does, like, truly, like. Like, I think it, like, gathers businesses together and, like, you know, helps them or what? I don't know. And it's the most boring fucking building ever. And I was so bored. And so I leave, and I'm just, like. I'm walking around, and, like, there's, like, a ice cream store around the corner from the Chamber of Commerce. So I go in there and I'm just, like, in there. Burning time. And it was like this brand new, like, frozen yogurt store. And I, like, went in there, and, you know, the lady in there was really nice. And, you know, we just got to chatting because I had nothing better to do. And I'm like, yeah, I can help you, you know, with that. That or that, you know, like, this is more exciting than the Chamber of Commerce. Like, the Chamber of Commerce is like a prison that you put yourself into. And, you know, that that's the place where I got the job that had the cotton candy machine. [00:05:32] Speaker C: So were you actually hired at the Chamber of Commerce? [00:05:35] Speaker B: No, no, my mom was working at the Chamber of Commerce. She was an accountant or something. I. I still don't know what my mom does. I. I think she's an accountant. Like, if I was to guess, like, put my best guess, you know, like, FBI comes. Like, do you know what your mom does? She's an accountant. Yeah. Like, that's it. That's all I got. And like, oh, Actually, she's, you know, like a certified public accountant. Like, is there a difference? It's like, yes, one you paid nothing, and then the other you pay too much money for. That's why I don't have an accountant. I can't afford either of them. Ah. But, yeah, I, I did enjoy those times. I did enjoy, you know, going out and accidentally getting a job. Like, this is why I don't ever feel bad anytime I see a homeless person. You know, there's like, any hobos on this street, I put them in my, my a. My a pillar on my vehicle. So, like, I can't see them, you know, and none of them have the audacity to come up to my window. And if they ever did, I would yell at them. I would make them feel bad about their life choices up to that point, but they don't. They just sit there and they know, you know, okay, I'm homeless. That guy's ignoring me. And then they get paid way too much money anyway. Yeah, I, I hate homeless people. I remember the first day we moved in. This. There is like a hobo that came. [00:07:29] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I actually remember that there's. [00:07:32] Speaker B: A hobo that came into our backyard as we're unloading, you know, he's, hey, man, can I borrow the truck? Like, after you're done? Like, no, stupid. No, of course not. Come on, man. I just need it for something. I'm like, you don't have a home. This is for home people. Get out of here. You know, luckily he, you know, didn't get aggressive. Otherwise I had to beat his ass day one. But yeah, yeah, I know, random, you know, left turn, you know, I, I, I don't like home homeless people. You know, I've been there, done that. You know, it's easy to get a job. It's easy to accidentally get a job, go in, get your job, you know, and if you're not, you know, applying for jobs or, you know, putting in, you know, I can work three hours a week. You're not going to get a job. You have to have open availability and willingness to just fucking work. You'll always get a job. I went into a Jimmy John's for a sandwich, and my friend that was there with me was, was there looking for a job. They didn't give him a job. They gave me the job that wasn't even looking for the job like him. How about you? Would you like a job? I'm like, I'd like a sandwich. Like, after the sandwich. Would you like a job? I'm like, I guess it's like, okay, cool, pay for your sandwich. I'm like, all right, cool. And then like threw me a shirt and they're like, you come in tomorrow. My God. God damn it. I worked there for a couple months. [00:09:32] Speaker C: You were bamboozled, were, you were, you were a driver, right? [00:09:35] Speaker B: I was, I was a delivery driver. And I have to say this, you know, if you're gonna order delivery, five bucks is your minimum. Five dollars. I don't care if you are ordering something that is 30 cents. If you are having someone get into their personal vehicle and, and bring it to you because you're too lazy to go out and get it yourself. $5, that's your minimum tip. You know, if you're going to tip the change to round your up to a, you know, the next dollar, you're like, I'm going to tip you 38 cents. Go yourself. I forgot your napkins. Like Courtney, you used to work for tips. Like, yeah, am I, am I wrong on this? Like if you, you know, tip shitty, I, I, number one, I'll remember who the you are and number two, I will give you shitty service the next time you come in. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Like, I wouldn't do shitty service. I would, I wouldn't just go, I wouldn't go above and beyond. [00:10:39] Speaker B: Yeah, like pretty much like, or anything. I, I, like in my head I knew everyone that didn't tip, tipped a dollar or just, you know, was just garbage tips or like pre authorized tips or like just terrible. You would get your food last, like dead last. Like I would take six orders and run them around town and if you tipped me, you know, $5, you'd be in order $10 or above. You're, you're getting your food first. I don't care if you just ordered, you're getting your food first freaky fast. So just for everyone out there that might be listening to, you know, if you glean anything from this tip good, you get your food fast every time across the board. Tip good, you'll get your food fast. And if you tip like garbage, you know, don't accept back to your food anytime soon, you know, expect your pizza to be upside down. Go fuck yourself. You know. Oh, you ordered fucking straw with your drink. I forgot the straw. Silly me. Guess what? You're gonna fucking sip it from your lips like an idiot because you tip like shit. Ah, that, that, that's that rant. Let's get into some fucking stories. You know, I, I got a few stories here. Let's jump right into cracker Barrel. Like, have you. Have you ever eaten at a Cracker Barrel? [00:12:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I think so, but it's been a while. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Yeah, it's unremarkable. It's just like a, you know, basic ass restaurant. Nothing special about it. And the CEO decided, hey, we're going to rebrand Cracker Barrel. We're going to get rid of the white dude. We're going to, you know, change how everything looks on it. [00:12:43] Speaker A: It just looks, Brandon, bland and shitty now. [00:12:47] Speaker B: Yeah. So, you know, this was the original, you know, logo down here at the bottom. Let me share the screen so, you know, you can see, too, because I don't think my wife's looking. [00:13:02] Speaker C: Of course I'm looking. [00:13:03] Speaker A: I've seen it before. I've. I've been watching it, like, because Fox News has gone over it more than once. [00:13:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't watch Fox News, weirdly enough. [00:13:13] Speaker A: Yes. Thank God. Oh, God, they're so annoying. [00:13:20] Speaker B: But, yeah, they just went boom. Like, let's get rid of the white guy. Let's get rid of the barrel. Let's get rid of the cracker and the barrel and just, you know, call it Cracker Barrel. And it's like. [00:13:36] Speaker C: Okay, if they're going to get rid of the white dude, shouldn't they change the name as well? [00:13:43] Speaker B: They should just, you know, get rid of everything here in the middle and just have, like a yellow square and big. It says restaurant in the middle. Like, I. You know, people went there because it might be racist. Like, that's it. Like, it's a racist restaurant. Let's go. Let's go check it out. It's not racist at all in here. Weird and mediocre food. Okay. It's like a diner. [00:14:12] Speaker C: It's like a diner. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:14] Speaker C: Oh, like Gunther Tooties, kind of. [00:14:18] Speaker B: But, like, not like that, but it's like a red. It's like a Applebee's. [00:14:24] Speaker C: I've never been to an Applebee's. [00:14:26] Speaker B: We've been to an Applebee's. Oh, we have Chili's, you know. [00:14:30] Speaker C: Did I enjoy the food? [00:14:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:32] Speaker C: Okay. [00:14:37] Speaker B: In fact, Applebee is here. No, no, those Applebee's and Cameron park and it was a Red Robin here in town are the only two stores to get my maximum tip for, you know, the person taking my order. [00:14:59] Speaker C: I love Red Robin. I wish it wasn't so expensive. [00:15:05] Speaker B: You know, because I. I go in there for a little bit. $20, you know, maximum tip, and that's like 50%. And I had, like a root beer float, and that root beer float never went dry. Like, boom. Slapped 20 down on the table. Like, you got that. Like, what. What's the biggest tip you ever gotten, Courtney? [00:15:37] Speaker A: I don't really remember. Like. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Like, have you ever gotten, like, a hundred dollar tip or anything like that? [00:15:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, on a huge table, though. [00:15:57] Speaker B: Yeah. No, if you're gonna be a huge ass table and, you know, take up a lot of time, yeah, you better be tipping. [00:16:04] Speaker A: I think. I think I got 150. [00:16:10] Speaker B: Yeah. There was an Applebee's in California and the waiter, Zurban, and this was so goddamn long ago. This was 20 years ago. So Zurban might be dead by this point. God, I hope not. It was great. But he never took a moment's rest and, you know, was the most entertaining waiter I've had to date. And, like, there's like, probably like 10 of us at the table, and we all cracked out, like, $20 bills for them each. [00:16:51] Speaker C: Okay. The biggest tip I've gotten was $400. [00:16:56] Speaker B: What? [00:16:57] Speaker C: Yeah. I once remember the time I cat sat for the couple and the cat died. They tipped me 400 bucks afterwards. So, yeah. [00:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah, that was awful. [00:17:13] Speaker C: It really fucking sucked. I greatly appreciated that tip. Like, it really fucking sucked. But it is what it is. And all things considered, he did die pretty peacefully. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Well, I mean, you were there with the cat, like, while it died. [00:17:28] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. No, I'm not going to. I was never going to abandon him. [00:17:32] Speaker B: And, yeah, you know, they didn't have to deal really with that, you know, horrible part. And it, like, softened the blow. And I feel like that was, like, worth $400. [00:17:45] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I know precisely how it feels when someone leaves the cat and when they don't leave the cat. And so. So for. Okay, so for a really long time, I really fucking looked down on people who couldn't stay when their pet got put down. Like, I was just like, you guys are fucking awful people. And then for a while, I was following this girl, and she did hospice care. And one episode, she talked about how she's seen people grieve in so many different ways that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Like, you are grieving in the way that you need to grieve. And so once I heard that, I was kind of able to take a step back and be like, yes, you're putting your cat down and it's fucking awful. And if you can't be there, that's you grieving the way you need to grieve. Like, if you can't be there, you can't be There. And you shouldn't feel bad about that because I guarantee you in the back, your pet is going to be showered with love by all of us. Like, everyone's going to be coming by and cuddling and giving kisses. Like, we all, like, we, like, we take on the pain of that owner and we're still able to pass it on to the pet. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:00] Speaker C: So it's different for everybody. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Like when you put Gwynny down, like, I went out and I'm like, quinn, you're probably gonna die today. [00:19:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:11] Speaker B: No, and I, I gave her a little kiss on the head. I'm like, all right, bye. And like, I didn't, you know, deal with any of it. [00:19:17] Speaker C: Well, yeah, I didn't. Money was my cat. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:20] Speaker C: Like, I would, okay, this is awful, but I did not share her with you at all. Like, I was very selfish and kept her to myself. And also she and Mochi hated each other. [00:19:33] Speaker B: So no, it, like if, you know, Mochi had to get put down and I had to go to work, you know, and you're like, I'm gonna put Mochi down while you're at work. [00:19:41] Speaker C: I'm like, no, I would, I would wait for you to come back, but. [00:19:45] Speaker B: I, like, I, I, at the same time, I feel like that would like, soften the blow, like, emotionally for me, you know, like, if you're there and like, you know, watching your cat, like, no, I mean, if you, if you. [00:20:03] Speaker C: Don'T want to be there, you don't have to. [00:20:05] Speaker B: I'll be there. [00:20:07] Speaker C: So then, yeah, I would wait. Like if you're kind of cannot situation be like, okay, Mochi, you're getting pain meds, you're getting anti nausea, you're getting appetite stimulant. You're going to eat whatever the you want until daddy gets back. That's how then. So if we are. If for some awful reason we ended up in that type of situation, that's what I would do. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Take you out back with a shotgun mo dude, Old farmer style. I mean, is there anything wrong with that? [00:20:37] Speaker C: No, it just makes me think of Old Yeller. [00:20:39] Speaker B: Yes, that's perfect. It's a great way to, you know, just like put an animal out of its misery instead of, you know, like, didn't it die from like a snake bite? [00:20:47] Speaker C: I have no clue. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure that Old Yeller, you know, got bit by a rattlesnake. Now I have to find out. Now I have to like, go, how did Old Yeller die after bit? Being bitten by a rabid Wolf. In a fight to protect the family, Old Yeller was shot and killed by the boy Travis. Then what fucking one was it? Where like there was like a chopped off snake head and like the dog gets bit by the chopped off snakehead. Ah. What dog was killed by a chopped off snakehead? Ah, God damn it. It's like, give me like news stories. What fictional dog was killed by a chopped off snakehood? Good old Boy, it's often confused with Old Yeller, another type of movie. And Good Old Boy, the dog Bell is bitten on the nose from a decapitated head of a rattlesnake leading to its death. [00:22:13] Speaker C: There was another one of these type movies that I watched where it was like a baby deer. And so like the, the like. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Oh, I don't feel bad for baby deer at all. Them all. [00:22:22] Speaker C: Yeah. But no, so like the deer got into the tobacco and that was the cash crop. And so the mom was mad and she made the kid shoot the deer. And it was an adult by now. And so the kid shoots the deer and then he runs away and he goes and he's on like a sea for like a few years before he comes back. And I'm not quite sure why he went back. [00:22:44] Speaker B: That's the most I remember it in my head. I imagine the deer gets on the sailboat and sails away. You know, like Carl the llama. He's like on a sailboat, Meg. It's like that. Those people are shooting at me. I have enough fucking tobacco here to last me a while. We're good. Oh, I have to come back. I need more tobacco. He comes back and gets shot to death. [00:23:12] Speaker C: I haven't thought of Carl in a long time. I idolized him. I'm not gonna lie. [00:23:17] Speaker B: Everyone does. He's the best Carl that kills people. Oh, I. I didn't know. I. I'm sorry. [00:23:27] Speaker C: He's a true Harry. He's a true hero. Population control. [00:23:32] Speaker B: Yeah, they made a new episode of that. [00:23:35] Speaker C: Was that any good? [00:23:36] Speaker B: Yes, it was like, you know, after like everything, it was just Carl, llamas with hats. [00:23:51] Speaker C: Best thing ever. [00:23:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Epilogue. September 20, 2024. 20 minute episode. [00:24:01] Speaker C: There must have been like a ginormous batch of people naming their llamas Carl after that first came out, of course. [00:24:10] Speaker B: But yeah, I mean, it's just, you know, kind of, you know, going through all of it and, you know, just the whole epilogue of what the fuck happens afterwards. Yeah, it's just, it's a, it's a weird episode. The epilogue. [00:24:30] Speaker C: They're all weird. They're supposed to be weird. It'd be weird if it wasn't weird. [00:24:40] Speaker B: But. Yeah, no, it's just him going crazy or something. [00:24:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm confused too. [00:24:51] Speaker B: Have you. Have you never seen Llamas with Hats? [00:24:53] Speaker C: Wait, so did he drop acid? [00:24:55] Speaker B: No. [00:24:56] Speaker C: Like, that would explain things. [00:24:58] Speaker B: You would just have to watch it, you know, like fucking. [00:25:03] Speaker A: What is it called? Llamas with Hats. [00:25:05] Speaker B: Llamas with Hats. Yes. L L a M a S with hats. There's 12 episodes. [00:25:12] Speaker C: There's no way you didn't know about this. [00:25:14] Speaker B: You have to watch all. [00:25:15] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. I haven't. I don't know about it. [00:25:18] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:25:18] Speaker B: Oh, you have a treat for you tonight. Holy. There's 12 episodes in the epilogue, you know, and it was great. It. It was, you know, back. Back in the day. It was fantastic. It was the same thing as Candy Mountain. It's Candy Mountain. Charlie. Same dude. Charlie the unicorn. [00:25:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that was also a good one. [00:25:58] Speaker B: 16 years ago. 16 years ago is when it came out. [00:26:02] Speaker C: That's a long time ago. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Long time ago. Yes. Holy. Yeah, like what? But what else did they also do? They did marshmallow people. Yeah. Like this guy, you know, did a lot of good. Guess he's still up to stuff. Just not making giant fucking series anymore. I'm sure that fucking takes a long time for. Not a lot of payout. [00:26:42] Speaker C: Yeah. So, yeah, they're doing the best they can. [00:26:49] Speaker B: Well, it's Jason Steele, I believe is his name. Let's see how much the Patreon is going for. Join for free. 2512 members. Yeah, that's just a free Patreon. Like nothing costs money here. Oh, see membership options. Oh my God. What? What is this? Limited Patron of the Ghost. This tier is limited to one person every month. Someone that claims this tier is successfully charged for it. I will create and release a new episode of the Ghost House series with credit thanking either the Patreon or the person of the patrons choosing. [00:27:52] Speaker C: Oh, so basically they pay a thousand K and he designed something for them. [00:27:56] Speaker B: Oh, just one. $1,000. And it. He like, I guess he has a series going on called Patron of the Ghosts. I. I don't know. I'll have to check that out later. Yeah, this is awesome. I'm gonna have to do that. I'm not paying a thousand dollars, but. But I have to check it out. Yeah. Crack, crack. Cracker Barrel is done now. Hopefully they don't, you know, do anything else dumb. [00:28:33] Speaker C: It looks like a app. The logo. [00:28:36] Speaker B: Yeah, the. It's. [00:28:37] Speaker C: It looks like, like What? [00:28:39] Speaker B: It, it's minimalistic. And I'm like, you already had all the, you know, the stuff for it, and you weren't even like that, like, you know, whatever. [00:28:51] Speaker C: You know, they could have kept, like, the barrel in it somehow, otherwise, what was the whole point of calling it a barrel? [00:29:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't even know they had stocks. [00:29:11] Speaker C: Everything has stocks. [00:29:13] Speaker B: Not everything. My company doesn't have stocks. Your company doesn't have stocks. [00:29:18] Speaker A: So it means that they have to go public. And some, A lot of companies don't do that. [00:29:28] Speaker B: Because if you go public, then, you know, you're required to, you know, make money. [00:29:35] Speaker A: Yeah. You're beholden to investors and like that. Yeah. [00:29:42] Speaker B: And all that. [00:29:44] Speaker A: Yep. [00:29:47] Speaker B: Like, like I, I bought into, you know, one stock that was going to be that did become Pew, which is Grab a Gun. And it's an online store where you can go in and, you know, pay for a gun, you know, in payments, and they'll ship it to your store and you can do all your paperwork and all that bullshit and have your gun for a payment plan. And I'm like, this is, you know, pretty fucking brilliant because they have, you know, good prices on guns and all that. And so I, I paid in and then, you know, the merger happened and the stock ate a fat dick. So I'm out. I'm like, oh, no. I lost my money and I. And now I've just, like, let it sit there and hopefully it recovers. But it dipped like 50%. So we. We'll see what happens with Cracker Barrel. It ain't Taco Bueno. Like, there's a store here in the Springs called Taco Bueno. Place sucked. [00:31:05] Speaker C: And now it's no more. [00:31:06] Speaker B: Now it's no more. I. I wonder if any Taco Buenos even exist anymore. Taco Bueno. It does. Where does it exist? [00:31:18] Speaker C: It's a chain restaurant, I'm sure. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Free. Yeah. Where are you guys? [00:31:28] Speaker C: You know, it's a franchise. [00:31:30] Speaker B: Yes. But okay, locations. Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas. None in Colorado. Yeah, they had a couple out here. They all fucking ate dicks because they all sucked. God damn. Oklahoma City is fucking ripe with them. Tulsa has a fuckload. Little Rock has a bunch. Dallas, Holy. They got like 60 of them. [00:32:09] Speaker C: Yeah, Dallas is like home of Texas mix. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Yeah, they're all in Texas right now. So if you want to go eat some awful. The. The, the worst Tex Mex, like, it has not been beat for badness. And I've been to, you know, Tex Mex at gas stations where it's like, it's it's awful. Like, I go up to buy it and they're like, you sure? I'm like, yeah, like, all right. I, you know, sign this waiver, please. And now I kind of want to. Want to go down to Texas to see if it's good in Texas. [00:32:51] Speaker C: It must be if there's so many of them. [00:32:53] Speaker B: Like, it has to be. [00:32:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:55] Speaker B: And like they just it up in Colorado or something. [00:32:59] Speaker C: Also a huge possibility. [00:33:02] Speaker B: Like, like the people that they hired over here just, you know, know, sucked. [00:33:07] Speaker C: Oh yeah. Because they're stones all the time. [00:33:18] Speaker B: But. So the dildos have continued. Police were notified after a neon green sex toy was thrown on the field during a Titans pre preseason game. If you're not aware, Titans are a football team. Male football team. [00:33:38] Speaker C: That makes it even better. [00:33:39] Speaker B: Yeah, they're, they're, you know, with the NFL. But a neon green sex toy landed near the six yard line about five minutes left and the Titans win over the Minnesota Vikings. The teams were on the field with the Titans near. On offense near midfield when the object hit close to the Tennessee sideline. It was picked up and given to a security guard. The Titans said they had captured images of those responsible and reported the incident to the Metro Nashville police department. It is in the latest string of disturbances where similar toys were tossed at WNBA games, resulting less at. Resulting in at least three arrests. [00:34:31] Speaker C: I really hope this turns into a TikTok trend. [00:34:34] Speaker B: I hope not. It's TikTok trends are dumb. [00:34:38] Speaker C: I know. And this is fucking dumb. [00:34:43] Speaker B: The masses will follow, I guarantee you. The dildos flying onto the court of WNBA games up their numbers. [00:34:52] Speaker C: Oh, sure. [00:34:54] Speaker B: You know, football does not need help. Football sells out for some weird reason because, you know, us straight men, we enjoy seeing other men grab other men in big pads. And we're straight because there's females on the field cheering somewhere. But you know, they're sweaty, big hairy men with big muscles, all sweaty and glistening. But there's females there. We're not gay. We're not. None of us are gay. But because there's females there that are cheerleaders, we're there to see the men. Women are gone and now we're throwing dildos at them, apparently. Oh my God. [00:35:47] Speaker A: It's so funny. They made such a big deal about the. Some of the pro football cheerleading teams having men on them. And I just find it so funny like that. It doesn't really matter. [00:36:03] Speaker B: Yeah, no. Like if you're gonna put a man on your cheerleader team, like do some cooler shit, you know now. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:36:10] Speaker B: Some muscles like, do some, like, crazy backflips and, you know, have them catch you. Hell, yeah. [00:36:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, that fat kid that was on the high school cheerleading squad, he did all of their stuff. He was able to lift them up and. Like that. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:28] Speaker A: That's why he. They were able to do cooler. [00:36:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, that. That's what I want, you know, like, bring on men. Yeah, sure. Do some cool shit. And then once, you know, you do some, like, cool shit, like, oh, dude, do you see, like, the triple backflip, you know, and, like, the other teams, like, looking at cheerleaders again, like, oh, yeah, but, you know, waving fucking shaky pom poms around every now and again. Yeah, no one cares. Cool. You know, you're getting attention of babies. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:37:09] Speaker B: I know. [00:37:09] Speaker C: I love Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. [00:37:13] Speaker B: You like the show? [00:37:14] Speaker C: They're so smart. [00:37:17] Speaker B: So, like, my wife watches a show I've seen. [00:37:20] Speaker C: I'm not pre. I'm not currently watching it. [00:37:23] Speaker B: I. I saw, like, 10 minutes of it, and I hated it. [00:37:26] Speaker C: Yeah, I know you did. [00:37:27] Speaker B: It was just catty bitching about all the dumb that they bitch about. [00:37:34] Speaker C: You didn't listen to it at all? [00:37:35] Speaker B: Not at all. No. [00:37:38] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:37:39] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:37:41] Speaker B: But they're. They're like, yeah, you know, she. She doesn't have what it takes. Like, I read the undertones. They'll say nice things. Oh, you're so pretty in that dress. You know, it's like, you gotta, like, listen to what they're really, really saying. Like, you're pretty in that dress, but I'm prettier in my dress. So. Yeah, like, that's just really what it is. But let's. Let's get into some awful, you know, news. Frank Caprio, Judge Caprio, had died after cancer resurgence or reoccurrence. And he was that nice judge that you all saw online that, you know, somebody would come with their sob story. Oh, this is my dad and I, you know, I was giving him a ride to his cancer thing, and, you know, we just were going there a little too fast. He's like, all right, you know, get out of here. Like, they gave him softball cases, you know, that, like. Like, never was there a dude that came in, he's like, yeah, I was, you know, shoplifting, you know, a TV from Walmart. Then I stabbed a guy my way out. You know, he never. He never gets those. You know, it's always like, hey, here's these so you can look like a good guy. And I'm sure he was. And then they televised it and People like, ah, yeah, that feels really good. That were helping. But I'm like, this guy could have like done some really good, good. And now he said so, man, rest in peace, you know. Frank Caprio, you'll be missed. [00:39:35] Speaker C: Old. [00:39:37] Speaker B: Yeah, he was born in 1936. Yeah, he was damn near 100 years old. [00:39:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:42] Speaker A: Wow. [00:39:46] Speaker B: Yeah, 1936, 20, 25, you know, that's 89 if my math is right. Probably not, but yeah, no, it seems right. If it's not. If it's not right, I don't care. Next story. Here's some more ridiculous bullshit that you're here for. British Airways attendant found naked and on drugs. An onboard toilet. You know, this is me. If I ever became like a fucking flight attendant. A British Airways flight attendant was found naked on onboard pilot while under the influence of drugs. Hayden Pincost, 41 years old. Oh, I still have time. Was working on a flight from California to London. Yep, that's where he got the drugs. When he started to become agitated and was described as sweating and babbling, probably because he was hot and on uppers. Blood test later revealed that Pen Cost had meth. Meth. Amphetamines and amphetamines in his system. You just say meth, it's fine. He had a bunch of uppers in his system which, you know, increased his body temperature by a lot. Pencoss, who had been sacked, pleaded guilty at Uxbridge Magistrate Court to performing aviation duties while impaired by drugs. I mean, not really. He wasn't in charge of the plane. He was a flight flight attendant. The court heard Pencos had to be stood down by his manager when he failed to help with any pre flight safety checks. After complaining of cramps, he said he began to change clothes and he looked at himself at one of the toilets where a colleague later found him naked and oblivious to the fact the court was told he had dilated people's high heart rate. Yep, of course. Yeah. I mean, I, I feel bad for this guy. I mean, he was probably, you know, struggling with some and, you know, overdosed himself accidentally. Thought he was just gonna get through this flight. Took too much and, you know, it's not like he's in charge of anything, you know, really major. [00:42:19] Speaker C: I wonder if being in the plane, it changes how your body metabolizes drugs. Being at such a high altitude and going at that speed, I wonder if it has an effect. [00:42:31] Speaker B: Does being on a plane affect how drugs affect your body? Yes, being on a plane can affect how drugs work in our body. Due to changes in cabin Pressure, lower oxygen levels, dehydration, and disrupted sleep patterns. These factors can affect the absorption, metabolism, and effects of certain medications and other substances. [00:42:58] Speaker C: Yeah. Attracts. [00:42:59] Speaker B: Yeah. The hypoxia probably is, like, the biggest one. Yeah. So. Yeah. Even though, you know, it's all pressurized, it's similar to being at 6,000, 8,000. That's nothing. I go to 11,000ft all the time. [00:43:21] Speaker C: The point is, he might have taken something, and it affected him in a way he could not have anticipated. If he'd never taken meth on a plane before. [00:43:31] Speaker B: That's the new movie. Meth on a plane. And everyone just starts taking meth on the plane. Like, oh, fuck. Get this goddamn meth off this goddamn plane. No, the meth. I need it. Don't flush it down the toilet. And, like, they land and, like, a needle of meth, like, hits him in the neck. It's like. [00:43:54] Speaker C: Ah. [00:43:55] Speaker B: He starts to freak out. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:43:58] Speaker B: I know. I know. Mochi, what are you doing? You doing crazy stuff. [00:44:07] Speaker C: She's being. Well, kitchen. [00:44:09] Speaker B: I know. Hulk Hogan's death was lead linked to possible surgical mistake. Of course, you know, some doctor probably cut something wrong. [00:44:22] Speaker A: And who. Wait, Who. Whose death was the mistake? [00:44:25] Speaker B: Hulk Hogan. [00:44:27] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:44:28] Speaker B: Yeah. He's dead. [00:44:30] Speaker C: Wow. [00:44:33] Speaker A: No idea. [00:44:34] Speaker B: Oh, you should probably tell your dad. He's gonna cry. He's like, hulkamania is no more. [00:44:42] Speaker C: So does it say what procedure he had, being old? Oh, it says surgical mistake. What surgery? [00:44:53] Speaker B: I mean, he was, like, 90. [00:44:55] Speaker C: What's surgery? [00:44:56] Speaker B: I don't fucking know. [00:44:57] Speaker C: It doesn't say in the article. [00:44:58] Speaker B: Okay, let me Google this up. [00:45:01] Speaker A: He was in his 70s. [00:45:02] Speaker B: What surgery did Hulk Hogan die of? An occupational therapist. Who. Blah, blah, blah, blah. A surgeon had severed his phoenic nerve. [00:45:23] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:45:26] Speaker C: I don't know what that means. [00:45:28] Speaker A: And he wasn't in his 90s. He. He's 71. [00:45:32] Speaker C: Yeah. So why didn't he have the surgery? [00:45:34] Speaker B: He was recovering from surgery. Ill with leukemia at the time of his death. [00:45:37] Speaker C: Oh. Oh, yeah. [00:45:42] Speaker B: Everyone gets cancer. [00:45:43] Speaker C: Oh, my God. He had fucking. He died from cancer. Jesus Christ. Yes, go blame the surgeon. Because the fact that he had cancer. [00:45:49] Speaker B: I mean, that's what you do when you're upset. [00:45:57] Speaker A: I. I guess my mother's. [00:45:59] Speaker C: Yep. [00:46:01] Speaker B: And then Florida man was arrested for threatening to kill everyone on the Epstein client list. I'm like, release him. Get him out of jail. [00:46:12] Speaker C: The good Lord's work. [00:46:14] Speaker B: Yes. Kill pedophiles. Of course. Kill pedophiles. Kill your local pedophile. I am all for this. You Know, I don't think you're gonna be able to accomplish it, but if you do, you better do it with like a crocodile or some crazy Florida man way. But like, you know, go out and, you know, kill them one by one and then, you know, take them to like an alligator farm and feed them to your alligators. I'm like, where are the bodies? Where are the bodies, Mr. Serial Killer of Pedophiles? And he's like, in the Gators Bellies. I'm like, well, we can't find anything here. You're free to go. Like, it's cons. Like, I consistently have this thought, you know, of, you know, having a TV show where it's like, Dexter, but he just kills pedophiles. And like, the, the police don't give a. Like, yeah, whatever. Like they. They immediately come up with like, the evidence that the person that was killed was a pedophile. And they just put in no effort. They're like, oh no, this pedophile's dead. And like, same thing with Roblox too. Like, you know, like, I don't have the story pulled up, but apparently over on Roblox, this kids game that all these kids play, there was this dude that, you know, was on YouTube catching these pedophiles and working with local authorities, like the police and everybody to catch these pedophiles, never, you know, initiated anything like let them initiate and was taking pedophiles off of, you know, Roblox and getting them arrested. And then Roblox came out, banned him and said, hey, you are fucking, you know, violating a bunch of our terms. How fucking dare you. You're banned. And here's a cease and desist. If you ever try and do this again, we're gonna, you know, sue you. So I'm like, immediately grab their hard drives and find out what the they're up to. So. But yes, let's see. Terrell Bailey Corsley. [00:48:48] Speaker C: Excuse you out your memo and release yesterday on Jeffrey Epstein. [00:48:53] Speaker B: It left some lingering mysteries out. But let's get into am I the assholes? And finish up this episode. This is like one of those, like rambling episodes. And sometimes, you know, you get those. Sometimes like you get like the, like the drunk uncle that's like, let me talk to you about conspiracy theories. But this is am I the asshole? My husband wanted a divorce until he lost his job. Am I the to follow through with filing? Oh, no, leopard's ate my face. My husband, 34 male, and I, 38 female, have been married for six years. Together for nine. We've had our ups and downs, but our biggest down is how he speaks to me. I just had our son one year ago when I was 10 months postpartum. He was telling me that I was fat and lazy and all I do is take care of the baby and work. I still had the baby weight and I was navigating new routines, work and caring for our baby and four other children while working 40 hours a week. On my birthday, he demanded that I not leave the house or he would divorce me. Just happened that my daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth the morning of my birthday. So I, you know, took her. Needless to say that he didn't even say hello to me and slept in his game room. He has been sleeping there since. It's been two months and he told everyone he's divorcing me. He spoke to his attorney and everything before telling me he wants a divorce. He told me that I was not surprised. I'm almost 40 and have three kids. I have four kids, three who are minors. And he says he is surprised. Jesus Christ, dude. He is in his prime and he makes good money and any woman would love to be in my shoes and take care of this kid. Oh God, he's a piece of work. He even went as far as inviting his baby mother, inviting his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out. [00:51:17] Speaker C: Wait, so he has kids with another chick? [00:51:19] Speaker B: Probably, yeah. Fast forward. He loses his job and telling me he wants to move and starts talking nicer to me, acting different than before. I told him I was still moving out and still going forward with separation because of his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me. It feels like I'm his only option at the moment. Now he's going around and saying that I'm a gold digger and as soon as I leave him, he loses his job. He says he wants to try and make it work, but I am choosing to leave his, his family and friends. So am I that? No, you're not the asshole at all, lady. Jesus Christ. You know, learn how to do paragraphs. But so apparently, you know, you gave birth to, you know, his son or to your kid and now, you know, your soon to be ex husband is, you know, saying you're fat and ugly and you only you don't do anything. And he's a pretty eyes. Knock it off. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Yeah, like seriously so stupid. Why do these women get involved with hobo sexuals? I know, that's a good one. [00:52:50] Speaker B: It's funny. It's these dudes that go online and social media is poisoning everything. They go online, they see, you know, one, you know, way of thinking, and they're like, that, that's me. I'm the prize. I'm the winner. And they see, like, a bunch of, like, pretty much self affirmations that say, I'm good. And it's like, yeah, no, knock it off. [00:53:16] Speaker A: They're like ducks or lemmings. [00:53:20] Speaker B: You know. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Like, once they learn something, it's that way, all the way. [00:53:25] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I'll never leave my wife. Sorry, babe. You're stuck with me. [00:53:29] Speaker C: No, I just have to wait for you to die. [00:53:32] Speaker A: Alex, you'll probably die first. [00:53:36] Speaker B: I mean, don't kill me. Like, if you're gonna kill me, like, let me know. [00:53:39] Speaker C: Of course I'm gonna let you know. [00:53:41] Speaker B: Like, hey, babe, I'm going crazy and I'm gonna kill you in three, 30 days. [00:53:47] Speaker C: Oh, no, I'm just gonna let you know, like, five minutes before I do. So, like, you're not gonna die unknowingly. [00:53:52] Speaker B: Like, oh, then you're not gonna win that fight. [00:53:55] Speaker C: Oh, no, I'm. Babe, no. I'm going to slowly poison you. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:54:00] Speaker B: Oh. I don't think you understand how resistant this body is. [00:54:03] Speaker C: Huh? It's very resistant. [00:54:06] Speaker B: Yeah. So far. Putting eye drops in your coffee every day, eventually you'll get there. Oh, my God. [00:54:18] Speaker A: Don't that just give you, like, really. [00:54:20] Speaker B: Bad diarrhea if you do too much at once? Yes. [00:54:24] Speaker A: Okay. Does it have a. Like, if it's exposed long term? Do you know if it has any? [00:54:30] Speaker B: Uhhuh. It does. Yeah. It will kill you. What? Yeah. It'll kill you long term. Yes. It builds up in your body. This is weird information. I know. How long does it take for eye drops to kill you if laced in your food? Yeah. They're only intended for use in the eyes and contain chemicals that can be harmful. Swallowed this word here. I don't know what that word is. Tetra. [00:55:23] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:55:23] Speaker B: Hydro Zoli. [00:55:26] Speaker A: It looks like it can actually kill you, like, right away too. [00:55:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, if you take out too much. But yes, you. You know, if you throw up, then you be. Yeah, you can get treatment. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Being connected with murder cases. [00:55:47] Speaker B: But yeah, I mean, like, there's a show called F is for family, and that's how, like, the Vietnamese woman was trying to kill her husband, like, putting eye drops, and then eventually she just like. Like this and kills them. [00:56:03] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't remember that character. [00:56:05] Speaker B: The Asian lady from Ev's family. Yeah. Vietnamese Wife from F is for family. Her. [00:56:19] Speaker C: Oh yeah, I don't remember her. [00:56:24] Speaker B: Yeah, she's like the douchebags wife. She's Chet Stevenson's wife. And he was just kind of like a. That like, you know, helped, you know, the main character, like build like a nursery and then called the city to get him over. Like when he didn't do it, he was like wanted him to do so. Yeah, but lady, yeah, just divorce your husband. Let him, you know, get his face eaten at a, you know, leopard eating convention. Next. Am I the. Am I the for telling my son's African American girlfriend that she can wear a wig even if my son doesn't want her to? No, but we'll read it. I 37 female. A white woman savior got out of my depths on this topic. I'm too scared to ask anyone who is African American face to face. My sons. 14. Oh my God. First girlfriend is an African American. 13 female. Jesus. We'll call Nina. Usually when I see her, she's a bubbly social butterfly. She smiles a lot and is very talkative. Recently I noticed Nina seeming less confident. The times I see her, her changes and demeanor are no more noticeable change. But I also noticed her lack of wig, makeup and jewelry. I didn't realize the two things were connected. One day I drove them to a party. My son was upstairs. Nina was downstairs. She looked at me and was dreading going to this party and asked her what was wrong. She says she doesn't feel pretty. Asked her why. She said she is getting used to showering her natural hair. I asked her if it makes her feel uncomfortable showering her hair. Why is she doing it? She said my son thinks she looks cooler this way. I told her I used to do things to impress boys when I was her age. I told her she can wear a wig even if my son doesn't want her to. Days later I've never looked seen my son more angry with me than that day. He says I'm a white woman and shouldn't be advising a black girl on how to look. He called me an overhearing mom and a Karen. I was too shocked to speak as I've never seen him so angry. So am I the asshole? Jesus Christ. 14 and 13. Ah, your son shouldn't be dating. [00:59:20] Speaker C: Wonder where he got all that information from. [00:59:31] Speaker B: I love this first comment right here. So a white woman can't say to anything to a young girl to make her feel better about how she presents herself, but a young white boy can? Does he think that maybe he's being supportive by encouraging her to show her natural hair instead of wigs or something. Something. And completely ignoring how his girlfriend actually feels about it. I'm not the by millions of miles. I'm an African American woman and I applaud you for helping that girl and giving her back some of the confidence that your son had stripped from her. He's controlling, not you. But being a woman and a mother, not a Karen, you should have a talk with your son about how to treat a girl, period. If he's like 14, I shudder to see him as a full grown if it makes it that far with the that attitude. Yeah, mom, you, you, you did the right thing. Good job. You know what? What do you all think? [01:00:40] Speaker C: She did the right thing. [01:00:42] Speaker A: Yep. So annoying. [01:00:51] Speaker C: I know. But where he got these opinions should be looked into. [01:00:55] Speaker B: Like I, I want to know where like this the kid's dad is, you know. [01:01:03] Speaker C: But like have to do with things. [01:01:06] Speaker A: You know, like sometimes a good brown mole male role model. If it's their absent then it could be. Unfortunately he's found the Andrew Tate male role model. [01:01:21] Speaker B: I mean, you know, I'm not going to go as far as to say that he's like Andrew Tate, you know, maybe you know, he knows he notices that his girlfriend is wearing wigs and he's like hey, you know, be, you know, the, you know, the actual you, you don't need to be wearing wigs, you know, you know, show who you really are, show your natural hair and it's like let people be who they want to be. How about that? And then we got one advice and then we'll go ahead and end it. Advice My best My girl best friend offered to take my virginity as the title suggest I male 20 turning 21 in a week. A friend of mine, 27 female offered to be my first for context. We were hanging out but this conversation led to sex. She briefly mentioned her first time was in high school and asked about me. I just confidently told her that I've never been with a woman before, not even kissed. She was shocked because I acted more mature. She thought I'd been with at least one woman. But I told her no, that I'm really a virgin. She asked why I hadn't seen anyone and I just briefly told her that I was going to try and started dating during my freshman year high school. But then the pandemic came and it was ruined my chances. And during high school I was already stressed with homework, friends, family, etc that didn't bother to try and date. I also Told her that I had some bad relationship with my mother based on how she treated me growing up, and that it changed my view on women. I'm not sexist or anything. I just don't want anyone to hurt me. She appeared quite heartbroken, and we were about to leave and asked if she would like. And she asked if she would like to be my first. I was at first shocked and confused at the same time. I told her, what do you mean by first? And she replied, I want to take your virginity, silly. I was very flattered, but I wasn't sure about it and we can talk about it another time. And then we parted ways for the day. About her appearance, she is rather chubby. I don't want to say fat or obese, but I don't think that she fits the demographic. I'm usually into those types of girls. She was really attractive, though. But when she first met, she was really nice to me and kind of flirty. I got to know her for a few months and I still don't know if I should ask her to do it or if I should just say no. She did mention that it won't ruin our friendship and she just wants to help out. [01:04:31] Speaker C: That's messy. She wants to. You. She's probably in love with you. So. [01:04:39] Speaker B: I mean, yeah, she. She is six years older than you. [01:04:45] Speaker C: She's thirsty. [01:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:50] Speaker C: I mean, and like, not in a good way. [01:04:53] Speaker B: I mean, like, is it a bad way? [01:04:59] Speaker C: Like, he needs to understand that if he has sex with her, she's going to think they're a couple. [01:05:07] Speaker B: But yes. You know, having, you know, banging your friend is going to change, you know, the whole dynamic there. Okay. You know, it's adding a new ingredient to the pot. You know, that was a good recipe, and it could make it better and it could make it way worse and it could turn into a whole messy nightmare or something. Awesome. So, I mean, it's really you to, you know, make your decision. You know, do you want to, you know, do it with that, or, you know, do you want to save your virginity for marriage? Like a dork? [01:05:52] Speaker C: There's nothing wrong with that. [01:05:55] Speaker B: There's nothing wrong with being a dork either. But. But yeah, having sex together will change your friendship, especially since you're very inexperienced sexually. Your friendship could change for the better or for the worst. Exactly what I said. No doubt about that. Yep. Shift a dynamic, all that. Yeah. You should probably know that if you do it once, you'll probably want to do it again and again and again. And then after a certain number of weeks or months you'll realize that you've fallen in love with her and that you've been having sex with a woman you really, you know, don't love. Either way it's going to be difficult if not impossible go back to be, to go back to being good friends. So make an informed choice. You know, if, you know, you could be friends with benefits, you know, or you could just, you know, say nah. And if she keeps on pushing then, you know, then that can get messy too. So but, but if you say no and she just leaves it alone, you got yourself a good solid friend there. So we'll go and end it right there. We'll be back next week with some more stuff. Let's see, next week will be Labor Day. We'll see what happens. But until then, we'll see you all later. Bye. [01:07:40] Speaker A: See ya. [01:07:41] Speaker C: Bye. [01:07:43] Speaker A: Bye.