Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the human podcast.
God damn.
So we're back from vacation. We're no longer in the hotel. We're no longer, you know, we're back in the. In the Battle Cab, you know.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: The what?
[00:00:19] Speaker A: The Battle Cab.
Because I have a bunch of guns here.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: What does that have to do with cows?
[00:00:28] Speaker A: Cab, cab, cab.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: I heard cattle cab.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: Battle. B, A, T, T, L, E. B as in bottle, you know, A as in astronaut.
T as in tenacity.
T as in titty pet titties. L as in lysergic, you can't do cat breeds.
E as in edy bitty kitty.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: That was a good one.
[00:01:05] Speaker A: So yes, we are back. We're back in Colorado. That disgusting Californian ness is off of me. Thank God.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: But now you've moved back to another libtard state, so are you really happy?
[00:01:18] Speaker C: Oh my God.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: Oh my. Like yes. This state is insanely fucking libtarded.
Like you go into a fucking gun store now and they're like, well, you can't buy any magazines that have more than 15 rounds in it. You know, that's for the police and military only. So you're gonna allow just random fucking dipshits that get into the military to go out and buy, you know, high capacity magazines when in fact, you know, I think it was two or three of them got caught, you know, running an illegal, you know, underground nightclub, like two miles from this house.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: There was a nightclub two miles from.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: Our house, an illegal one, an underground one that had a bunch of drugs and shit and they fucking busted a bunch of fucking military people fucking, you know, running security for it.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: That sounds like a bomb ass nightclub.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: I'm sure it was. But you know, at the same time it's like you, you're gonna allow these fucking people to, you know, go out and like, what are you gonna do when like, you know, a bunch of them go rogue?
[00:02:16] Speaker B: See, I never did anything fun growing up. Courtney, have I ever even been to a nightclub?
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Yes, of course I have. Yeah.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: When?
[00:02:24] Speaker C: Yeah, I have pictures.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: Okay, cool. Did I have a. Did I have fun?
[00:02:30] Speaker A: I think you peed in like a pot or something like that. Like in a planter.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Wait, are we talking about the.
[00:02:37] Speaker C: Oh yeah. Did we go to like a bar in a club?
[00:02:42] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, like a big old fishbowl.
[00:02:45] Speaker C: Yeah, she didn't pee, she just fell over.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: No, I did pee. No, I did pee in a planter outside.
[00:02:53] Speaker C: Wait.
Oh yeah, I remember that now.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Okay, cool. I did do fun stuff at one point. In my life. Am I cool?
[00:03:03] Speaker C: Yeah, you did.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: I'm like. Like, what is, like, this, like, fascination with being cool? Oh, and I'm your host, Alex the Truck and all that shit, whatever. But, like, what is this fascination with being cool?
[00:03:14] Speaker B: Because I don't want everyone to think that I'm just nice.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: What's wrong with that?
[00:03:21] Speaker B: No one likes. No one likes. No one likes nice people.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: Everyone likes nice people.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: I know, but, like, isn't nice boring?
Nice people. Nice people get taken advantage of.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: Yeah, of course, Alex.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: I think you'll just ignore people, Alex. I don't think you'll be taken advantage of.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Like, there's days that I wish I could be nice.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: Like, I've never even done cocaine, so shouldn't I have done. I'm, like, in my 30s. Shouldn't I have done cocaine by now?
[00:03:55] Speaker A: You've done acid.
There's people that do cocaine all the time. Like, I'm not touching acid. That's crazy.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: Acid sits.
Acid is the ultimate pain control I've ever experienced.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: I mean, acid is, like.
Like, way crazier than cocaine ever was. Like, cocaine is, like taking an upper and suppressing our hunger. That's what it does.
It, you know, get you energetic, excited, you know, ready for, you know, whatever.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: Kind of sounds like my Wellbutrin.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: And then you're like, yeah, let's go do that. Oh, hell yeah. Let's go, you know, run a mile. Fuck, yeah.
And then you're just like, oh, I'm never gonna have to eat ever again because I'm gonna have cocaine for dinner, and it's gonna be fine.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: Well, yeah, that's one of the reasons I'm on the Wellbutrin is because it's an appetite suppressant, so I don't binge eat.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, all the time.
Yeah, like, pretty much. That's, like, what it does. It's just, like. It's, like, makes you excited, makes you dancy.
And, you know, it's like, okay, I don't need food.
And then I'm like, now all the cocaine is, like, filled with fentanyl, and I'm like, I'm not taking that risk.
It's, like, not even worth it.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: I don't even know what cool means to me.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: Me.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: What does cool mean to you?
[00:05:20] Speaker A: Cool means that you have a, you know, a future. Like, you know, you have, like, a 401k and you're going to like, oh.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: My God, you're so boring.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That's awesome.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
Courtney, what's. What do you think is cool?
[00:05:40] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
Does it really matter?
[00:05:42] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: It never matters. Like. Like you're gonna spend your entire entire life trying to chase, like, an ideology and be like, I wasted my entire life trying to chase that ideology.
Wearing leather, you know, coats with spikes on it. That wasn't, you know, cool enough for me, you know, having a bunch of guns, you know, that wasn't cool enough. It's like, cool as being who you want to be and being comfortable being who you want to be.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: So do I look cool when I'm walking around in my 1950 dresses all the time?
[00:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that's who you. That's who you are. That's who you want to be. That's, you know, what you like, you know, cool.
Cool. You know, cool is not, you know, fucking falling into a norm or falling into a box that somebody else has set for you.
[00:06:29] Speaker B: I just want to like myself more.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: More, then just like yourself more. That's all it takes. You know, it seems like, you know, complicated, but it's like, just. It's that simple. Just make. Yeah.
[00:06:41] Speaker B: Liking yourself also means accepting all the things you can't do anymore.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
I'll never be an astronaut. I've accepted that.
Like, God.
[00:06:52] Speaker C: Did you want to be an astronaut?
[00:06:54] Speaker A: Yeah, at one point. Yeah.
[00:06:55] Speaker B: You would have been a great astronaut.
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Now I'm an astronaut.
[00:07:00] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Okay, so my favorite phrase is. Whenever I do something really stupid at work, my favorite phrase is, ugh. My mother raised a rocket scientist.
[00:07:11] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
For her, it was.
[00:07:18] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, like, I. I never, you know, just be who you want to be and, you know, that's it. Like, you know, you. You might look at somebody else make. That's cool. You know, having, like, you know, black lipstick and, you know, you know, painting, like, a moon on your forehead and dark eyeliner or whatever, you know, like that. And it's like, oh, no, that's cool.
It's like a cat. Like, a cat will be like, this is the coolest toy ever in a week. They won't give a. About that toy.
[00:07:53] Speaker B: Cats never have to deal with imposter syndrome. All cats know they're the best cat because every cat is the best cat.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:04] Speaker B: I mean, although in the vet field, you do have. You do have your favorite patients, and I've got a few of my own favorite patients. And, like, once you have, like, a favorite patient, everyone's like, oh, yeah, she. She always takes that client's appointments. Like, once you have a patient you get to call dibs on. It's kind of fun because then you always see that client and then they start to recognize you and you start to kind of build like a little bit of a really, you got, you start to build like a relationship with that client.
And so when stuff goes bad, it's easier for them because now you're a comfort.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: Say like you, you know, in my head I'm like, I should, you know, go out and you know, follow in like either my mom or dad's footsteps and get an office job, you know, and become like a CPA or you know, something like that.
And for some people that's like, yeah, I love doing that. I love, you know, following the money and chasing the numbers and sitting in a desk, you know, where there's no danger or anything like that. And I can, you know, sit in an air conditioned room and, you know, do my eight hours and go home and make a bunch of money.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: What's the difference between sitting in an office and sitting in a truck?
[00:09:15] Speaker A: I could die.
Yeah, like I, I drive and it's like, you know, I, I, I see myself as the guardian of all the little cars around me and I'm like, at any point, if I get too mad at one of you, I could kill you.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: That does not make you a guardian.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: Does.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that makes you, you not a guardian.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: Guardian. Because I'm not killing him.
This is exactly what it makes me.
You know, if you're a, you know, a guardian of a kid, you know, if that kid makes you too mad, you can turn around and kill that kid. You will go to jail. I'll go to jail for killing people on the road for sure. But you know, I can, I have that ability.
I 100% have that ability.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: No, you're a guardian through fear. And there's like a specific name for that. And I, I can't think.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: Well, they're not scared of me.
[00:10:06] Speaker B: I know, but you're using.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: Or if they are, they're not acting like it. They're very bad at acting scared of me, okay?
[00:10:13] Speaker B: Being in charge of someone because you can hurt them is not good leadership.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: I'm in charge of Mochi and I could hurt her, can't I? Baby girl, come here.
I, I could, I could squish you.
[00:10:26] Speaker B: She's very busy grooming her tail.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Come here, Come here. I could squish you.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: She's having a cat moment. God, like whenever cats like stop to do something and they have to like lick their paw or something real quick, I call it having a cat moment.
[00:10:39] Speaker A: Like, are, are you afraid of me? I could squish you, but I like.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Being squished by you.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: I, I, I could be dangerous. I could be dangerous. I could be very dangerous.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: But, see, you could be dangerous, but I can't be. I want to be scary.
[00:10:55] Speaker A: Here.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: Alex. That's never gonna happen.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: I'm not touching that.
[00:10:58] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:01] Speaker A: It's not even bullets in it.
[00:11:03] Speaker C: That's never gonna happen, Alex.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: I just don't want people to see me as a child because I, I can't do anything besides being nice.
[00:11:11] Speaker C: Do you see Courtney as a child?
[00:11:13] Speaker A: Do you see Courtney as a child?
[00:11:15] Speaker B: No. Courtney's my bestie. She's like my big sister.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: But, but she's a nice person, you know, she's, you know, spending her days taking care of her dad, taking care of her papa, you know, and she could, you know, leave it up to the state to take care of her, her dad.
The state will send someone that doesn't really give a and, like, all right. Hello, sir.
Here's a wet wipe. Clean yourself up. Ugh.
You know, here's a new battery for your wheelchair. Off.
And like, that's it, you know, like that, that's the level of care that the state will give, you know, while she's, you know, spending her time. You know, she could be out making millions.
Should be a cutthroat businesswoman.
But do you see her as a child? Now she's being nice.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: I would be a bad leader.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Not everyone needs to be a leader. In fact, very few people need to be a leader.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: We only need a few leaders in general, you know, and everything else kind of runs itself.
Like, I have, you know, my boss and, you know, my boss's boss, and then, you know, like, the boss's boss's boss. I'm like, I don't know what the he does at all. Like, we can cut him out completely, save the company a bunch of money. They won't do that.
They need him for some weird reason.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: He needs to be the sinister dude who puts his feet up on the desk and lights a cigar.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: He doesn't do any of that. He's a nice dude.
Like, all my bosses are nice people. They've all been there way less than me.
Like, I'm their, you know, senior and time in the company, but if they need some.
[00:13:15] Speaker C: How long have you worked for this?
[00:13:16] Speaker A: A long time. Like a decade.
[00:13:20] Speaker B: Like, you started working for U.S. auto Force, like, what, a year before we got married?
[00:13:24] Speaker A: Probably. Yeah, it's been A while.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:31] Speaker A: But, yeah, I mean, like, just, you know, run your.
Just making sure that it was actually recording.
But yes, you are cool in your own right.
You are cool.
You know, for you.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: For me.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: I mean, you might see somebody else. Like, who do you. Who do you look up to? Who do you think is cool?
[00:14:02] Speaker C: I don't know.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: I don't know that I look up to anybody, but, like, who.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: Who do you think is, like, you know, the cool person? Mick? Yeah, that person's cool.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: One of my co workers. She's cool.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: What. What makes her cool?
[00:14:17] Speaker B: She can, like, do, like. She can do, like, cartoons stuff. Like, she can, like. She can do, like. Like, she can make anime shorts. Like, she's, like, really good with art and stuff.
[00:14:27] Speaker A: Yeah. And.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: And I have had to watch so much of her goddamn fan fic of Black Butler. Holy. I've had to watch so much of it.
[00:14:41] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: It's kind of a lot. But she, like. She can, like, do stuff. Like, if I open up my procreate, I just, like, draw like a child, but it's fun, so.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: Not everyone's an artist. There are some people that are amazing artists, like my friend Adrian.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Oh, my God, he's gotten so good.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: He is Astro Panda and he has a Patreon.
You know, he. He just kind of does it for fun. He's not, you know, serious on it.
Yeah, it's astropanda art on Patreon. So if you want to go over there and give them a couple shekels, you know, I'd appreciate that.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: How much is a shekel?
[00:15:22] Speaker A: Like a dollar.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: You know, like, is it a actual weight or is it a coin? Because I thought it was a quantity of wheat.
[00:15:31] Speaker A: Well, it's a coin. A shekel is a coin.
But yeah, it's just like a. It's like the lowest, like, denomination.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: But shekels can also mean chains.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: Shackles are chains. Shekels.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: S H E C K. Holy fucking shit. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I appreciate you immensely, but holy fuck.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: I knocked on the door. I'm so sorry. Well, you should have texted me. I'm sorry.
[00:15:57] Speaker B: I thought you were coming by at, like, 10, so that's my B as well.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: No, it's all good. I love y' all.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Bye.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: Hey, Tron.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: Bye, Tron.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Oh, Tron. I thought you were going to text me when you were home since you said you were out shopping.
Alrighty. Alrighty? Yeah, like, we. We had a Tron, you know, stop by real quick.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: My soul left my body. I was not prepared.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Like, we have headphones on while we record. So, you know, these are like both noise canceling headphones.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: Hi, Momo.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: That, that way we can hear, you know, Courtney.
So like, it's all connected to the board so we can't hear him. And he's like knocking like, hello.
I'm like, I would get robbed so goddamn. Like, I do have, you know, my Glock in my lap. So I'm like, not too worried about it.
I'm like, okay.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: Well, no, last time I was talking with Tron, he told me his shift ended at 10, so I assumed his shift today would be ending at 10. Clearly incorrectly.
But I got my weed.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Hell yeah. So that, that, that's what that whole thing was.
[00:17:10] Speaker B: We'll see how much you cut out.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: Probably none of it. I, I, I honestly probably won't. Like, I, I paused it pretty like early on to that whole thing and then I like restarted it in trucks.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: That's, there's an in truck set. That's what I was thinking of.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: An interim, an interlude.
[00:17:29] Speaker B: That's it.
Oh, my God.
Like older movies, they always had to interlude so people had time to like, get from the theaters and like, op like halfway through the movie and have a break. They don't do that anymore. Like, movies are always just straight through, like two and a half plus hours. And like some of us have to pee every half hour. That's not nice.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Feralism, the name of the game. As many movies as you can. Keep them going, keep them going, keep them.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: Interludes used to have such good music, like full orchestra music.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Like, well, back in the day, the actors had to go take a piss.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: And so they, they had the interlude because it was plays. It was, you know, spake Shakespeare and stuff like that. And what's crazy, you know, you know, here's a little bit of history lesson is, you know, they used plays and playwrights to teach history.
[00:18:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
Excuse you. You are not allowed out.
[00:18:30] Speaker A: You know, and they like, you know, people were entertained by the plays and like, wait a minute, am I learning stuff? And they're like, yep, you learned something.
[00:18:40] Speaker B: Like, isn't that like one of the plot lines in Dr. Stone or whatnot?
[00:18:46] Speaker A: Never seen Dr. Stone. Seems like a Courtney anime.
[00:18:50] Speaker C: What? Well, you haven't seen it.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Isn't there like a scene where he's like, trying to like, make up, like kids, like, like kid, little kid songs so they know how to like, use like electricity and rocks in the future?
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, I vaguely remember that.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:19:09] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:14] Speaker B: No funny.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: I. I've never seen the anime. I have no idea.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: I haven't seen it either. I've just seen excerpts of it.
[00:19:22] Speaker C: You should really watch it. It's actually really good.
[00:19:25] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:19:26] Speaker C: I just need to finish it.
I just haven't had time, guys.
[00:19:31] Speaker A: See, like, that. That's what happens every time. It's like, I'll start something.
Like, I. I watch, like, half of a movie called Civil War in the Plane, you know, and I'm like, I get what the rest of the movie is gonna be.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I hate it when the foreshadowing is so clear or it's such an overused plot line.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Well, no, like, the whole thing is America's on a civil war and.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: Is that what you were watching?
[00:19:58] Speaker A: That's what I. Yeah, that's what I was watching on the airplane.
And journalists are going and, like, filming or, like, photo, like, you know, taking pictures of it, like, in the middle of firefights. I'm like, that's. That's not a thing.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: I thought it was a thing.
[00:20:15] Speaker A: Like, there's war journalists.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: You know, and they'll, you know, go to a safe area, a relatively safe area, and, you know, report back on what has happened.
Like, what are you doing? Report back on what is happening. But they won't be in the middle of the firefight.
[00:20:39] Speaker C: Some of them are.
[00:20:40] Speaker B: You just.
[00:20:43] Speaker C: It's really hard for that footage to get through.
[00:20:46] Speaker A: Well, that's what they're taking pictures of. They're taking pictures of people getting shot. And I'm like, well, that's how the.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: Picture at Guam happened.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, Tiananmen Square, they got photos and stuff like that. And yes, there are some gruesome goddamn, you know, photos out there that just exist.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:08] Speaker A: And it's like, holy, humans are.
Yeah, and it's like, that. That's awful. But, you know, we. We have cheap gas.
It's like, if you would have just submitted to us, you would have all survived and, you know, probably suffered a bit, but you would have all been alive to suffer.
You know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Like, I. I heard somewhere that the world, the entire world is, like, in debt. And I'm like, to who itself?
[00:21:45] Speaker C: China?
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Well, no, the entire world, like, all the debts combined, you know, because money doesn't make sense.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: And it's numbers. At the end of the day, money is just numbers. And I don't understand why everybody else doesn't understand that money is just numbers.
It's just numbers.
[00:22:08] Speaker C: Well, it was supposed to be like an even, even out the playing field so that you could get what you want and you don't have to like, barter and trade.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: Why not?
[00:22:19] Speaker C: Different stuff.
[00:22:20] Speaker A: Barter and trade for, you know, whatever the you want. Like, hey, I'm going to drive this truck over there and then back and you know, hey, I'll give you some of this. Hey, I'll deliver that to there, you know, for gas and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But you know, we, we've just, you know, pretty much taken all the bartering and just put it into a piece of paper and say, hey, this is my barter chip. I'll give you this, you give me that.
And now you can take the barter chip that I gave you first to somebody else. Hey, I'll give you this, you give me that, you know, so I can go to the gas station, give them, you know, my bartering paper. Hey, you give me this, I'll take that. Diesel, they'll take that. And you know, like, hey, I want bread. Cool.
[00:23:08] Speaker B: You know, when you don't have money, it doesn't matter anymore. Now money is just fake numbers because you don't have it.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: I'm just waiting for, you know, the world to, you know, end in nuclear holocaust all around the world, just, you know, everyone, shoot off all your nukes. You already have them, just shoot them all off, go crazy, you know, and whoever survives, you know, you restart the world, you know, do some fallout, you know, like there is a movie back in the day called the Purge and everyone's heard of it. And the stick has already been done by Rick and Morty.
But I'm like, it is a kind of a good idea where, you know, you have a 24 hour period where crime is legal, including murder, just to get it out of your fucking system.
We wouldn't have homeless people anymore. The prices of houses would fucking tank.
[00:24:10] Speaker B: But we're back to numbers.
Money is numbers.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Yeah, but guess what? You can just fucking go move into someone's house.
[00:24:16] Speaker B: You know, Squatter's rights are weird.
[00:24:20] Speaker C: Yeah, that's so weird.
[00:24:21] Speaker B: It's super fucking weird.
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Squatters rights are actually fucking brilliant because, you know, rich tycoons would come out and buy like a bunch of fucking houses and let them sit empty for years. That way, you know, people that were trying to move in the town didn't have anything and they pretty much ran like the same fucking thing as like De Beers does where, you know, diamonds are forever. And diamonds are so rare. They have vaults full of diamonds, giant piles of diamonds. They have so many diamonds, they could make a diamond plated car.
So many diamonds, it's insane how many diamonds they have now.
[00:24:59] Speaker B: We can make our own.
[00:25:00] Speaker C: Like we can. Like the real versus the made is so weird too.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: And it's like it's a clear fucking stone. Who gives a shit? There's prettier stones than diamonds. Fuck diamonds entirely fuck diamonds. But.
But these rich fucking tycoons would buy so many fucking houses and let them sit empty. That way their value would fucking go up and then people would just move the fuck on in and you know, they just created squatters rights. It's like, hey, you didn't give a shit about your fucking property and have to go check on it for a couple years. And these people are just openly living in your fucking houses because you had so goddamn many of them, you know, Go yourself now.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: I knew a fat who used to say her piece is like diamonds, it lasts forever.
[00:25:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:52] Speaker B: So whenever I see diamonds, I just think of her piece.
[00:25:55] Speaker C: Like, you can only use it and you have to like utilize the property.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That's exactly what should happen. If you buy a house. You should have, you know, like, like, you know, here, here's like my most like libertarian view, or whatever, you know, not like really capitalist is like, you know, every per. Like corporations should not be able to buy single family homes. Corporations should only be able to buy like apartment complexes and like big condo properties. That's it. Like they could buy the land and then sell the houses and have like an hoa. But like, that's as far as like a corporation should ever be able to go.
[00:26:35] Speaker B: Look hoas.
[00:26:38] Speaker A: Well, I mean, sometimes they are good, you know, like, sometimes like an HOA is fucking awesome, you know, and it prevents, you know, your neighbors from being fucking trashy. Like my dad's neighborhood. You notice how all the houses around were nice, right?
[00:26:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:52] Speaker A: Imagine if I live next door, you know, I'm a fucking trash bag fucking all I know.
[00:26:59] Speaker B: But we keep our trashiness inside the house and in the backyard. It's not as evident in the front yard besides the fact that we haven't pruned the trees.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I'll get around to it, but you know, like, if I had like just a broken down truck out front and just oil slicks, I.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: Would not let you have a broken out truck out front. The second you have a broken down truck out front for everyone to see, I will leave you.
Okay?
I will. Oh my God, I'm an hoa.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:27:35] Speaker C: Like, like if it's clearly for like, you have a space for cars and like that, then I think that's fine. But when you have it, like in the front or sit like that or like on the street, then, yeah, I.
[00:27:54] Speaker A: Mean, if you have a car that hasn't moved in, like, you know, a year, get rid of it.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Oh, my God. You did not just say that.
You did not just say that.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: My truck.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Are you fucking shitting me? Are you fucking shitting me? The Honda sat in the backyard for a year and a half before you finally got rid of it. You have a broken motorcycle you haven't worked on in three years in the backyard.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: What are you talking about?
The Honda?
[00:28:29] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: I can tell you this right now.
I bought that truck after my Honda got shot. I haven't renewed my registration yet.
The Honda got shot last October?
[00:28:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: It was there for six months and I was working on it, too. And you were working on it.
[00:28:56] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:28:59] Speaker A: I'm sorry that I work so goddamn much to keep a roof over your head.
Oh, my God. Who just spent $250 at Sam's club?
[00:29:11] Speaker B: That's all it was.
[00:29:13] Speaker A: $250? Yeah.
[00:29:15] Speaker C: I thought it was like, oh, my God. That's all it was.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: Yeah. We got a bunch of food for you.
[00:29:20] Speaker B: I should have grabbed more.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: You shouldn't have.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[00:29:25] Speaker A: What do you think pays the bills?
[00:29:27] Speaker B: Me, I was gonna grab that carpet that had the, that had the leopard on it.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:29:32] Speaker B: But I thought we were over 300, so I didn't.
[00:29:36] Speaker A: I'm glad you didn't. I just. I told you to send it back. I was sitting there, you know, kind of getting like. Me and the guy were like, dude, where the is she?
[00:29:44] Speaker B: I have short legs.
[00:29:46] Speaker A: I like, it was like 20 minutes.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: It was not 20 minutes.
[00:29:51] Speaker A: Like, like there was like nobody and then there's like a mile long line.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: Well, that was their problem, you know.
[00:29:57] Speaker A: That like the people like behind us were getting mad like, we're gonna find you in the parking lot, beat your ass.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: Okay, I wasn't going to run. I walked as fast as I could. Okay?
[00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, maybe I should have just ran back and grabbed it.
[00:30:08] Speaker B: If you were going to run, yes, you should have.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: I mean, if, if I known I.
[00:30:13] Speaker B: Was gonna take, you know, if I run, I fall, right?
[00:30:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Average goddamn time.
So, yes, I, I, I'm out here busy fucking making money, you know, I'm sorry, I don't have fucking time when I'm busy out of the fucking state.
[00:30:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I forgot six days a week.
[00:30:30] Speaker A: I'm sorry that I have a job that I drive 3,000 miles a week for.
[00:30:37] Speaker B: Oh, it's not.
[00:30:40] Speaker A: I am sorry that I, you know.
[00:30:43] Speaker B: What are you apologizing for?
[00:30:46] Speaker A: That I don't have time in like the four hours that I get a week to fucking go do other fucking bullshit.
[00:30:54] Speaker B: Which is another reason why you can't have a broken down car in the front yard.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Everything in the backyard works. Everything.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Yes it does. The motorcycle, I'm not denying that.
[00:31:04] Speaker A: The motorcycle just needs a battery. It just needs jumped. It fucking runs.
[00:31:09] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:31:10] Speaker A: You know the other bike, this is.
[00:31:12] Speaker B: The one that was in the accident.
[00:31:13] Speaker A: Yeah, it still runs. I fucking drove it home.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I know you did.
[00:31:19] Speaker A: And you know it just needs a fucking new battery. That's it.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:24] Speaker A: And you know, like, I could probably just trickle charge it, you know, for like.
[00:31:29] Speaker B: And you haven't. And yet.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: And yet I haven't done that because it's been raining non fucking stop.
I don't have time to fucking fiddle with all the.
I am busy, I am busy. I have to go and make money. If you want, if you want, we can go sell the house and go live in my trucks and I'll have them up and raring and always going. We can go live in an rv. But you don't want to do that.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Yeah, we wouldn't have room for three cats in an rv.
[00:32:02] Speaker A: No, you, you just have, you want to have room for extra clothes in an rv?
[00:32:07] Speaker B: I don't have extra clothes.
Okay. When we went on our trip, I packed a small suitcase. How many you, how much did you, you packed like three times as much as me.
No, and when we got home, I had, I had everything unpacked and put back away within three hours.
[00:32:27] Speaker A: All my stuff's away.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:32] Speaker A: I had an extra bag so you could have extra petticoats.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: You wanted the petticoats to paddle your electronics otherwise.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: And did you use the petticoats? Yes, I did. Because I love you.
I always wear petticoats.
[00:32:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I always wear petticoats. If you weren't gonna put them in your bag, I was gonna use like the ones you put, you put like in the bags and you like suck the air out so they shrink down super small.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: So. Yes.
I don't have time to take care of the entire world.
[00:33:02] Speaker B: Do not.
[00:33:04] Speaker A: Now if you would like me to go get an office job, I can go, you know, become a CPA or something boring like that. Go get a boring office job and Make a load of money.
[00:33:14] Speaker B: I don't care what you do.
[00:33:18] Speaker A: Just know that I will be miserable.
[00:33:20] Speaker B: I don't care what you do.
[00:33:22] Speaker C: Are you already miserable? You are already miserable, supposedly want.
[00:33:27] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, I'm. I'm miserable because, like, life is wall to wall, but you know, that. That's just how it goes.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Pick your poison.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: How. How am I supposed to pick my poison? It's like, precisely, you know, do I want a dick in my ass or a dick in my ass? It's like, fuck. Oh, God damn. They're both dicks in the ass.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: Better the dick you know than you don't.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: None of them I know. I don't know any of these dicks. Oh, fuck. It's a federal government stick. Oh, no, not again.
[00:33:53] Speaker B: Wait, you don't know who's putting their dick in your ass? That's kind of sad.
[00:33:57] Speaker A: I mean, you know, that's. That's what cruising is all about.
[00:34:00] Speaker B: Like, is it at least nice?
[00:34:02] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
Get some poppers, some vc, VCR head cleaners, and go to town.
I. I like how they, like, made, you know, drugs and just, like, labeled it as something weird and people like. Yep. That. That's a normal thing, you know. VCR head cleaner. Yep. Because people need their VCR heads cleaned.
And just like, you just like.
[00:34:33] Speaker B: But a VCR is a tape.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Yeah, no, we know.
VCR head cleaner.
Yeah.
Audio video head cleaner. In this.
[00:34:50] Speaker B: What, you drink it?
[00:34:52] Speaker A: No.
[00:34:57] Speaker C: Isn't this, like, what you put in the.
[00:34:59] Speaker B: You're supposed to clean VCRs.
[00:35:02] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:03] Speaker B: How? We never cleaned our VCRS growing up.
Is that why they stopped working?
[00:35:09] Speaker C: Yeah, that's probably why they stopped working.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: It wasn't my fault they stopped working.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: No.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: They always told me it was my fault that I broke it.
[00:35:24] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: They were supposed to be cleaned and stuff.
[00:35:29] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, so how. How did they stop working?
[00:35:33] Speaker B: Like, they would just, like. Like they would just, like, stop working. Like, they wouldn't. Like, like, all of a sudden, like, it wouldn't read. And it was always, like, staticky or it would stop, like, halfway through.
And, like, whenever it broke, it was my fault because I probably broke it.
No, no.
[00:35:50] Speaker A: Yeah. No, it was that.
[00:35:52] Speaker C: That needed to be cleaned.
[00:35:57] Speaker A: They actually had a tape that you put into the VCR that would clean it for you.
[00:36:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:04] Speaker B: So when they broke, it wasn't my fault.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: Probably not.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: Yep. God, I hate them so much.
[00:36:12] Speaker A: VCR cleaning tape.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:36:17] Speaker C: You'd be able to tell they stopped working is because they'd start getting staticky.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: So yeah, you'd have this and, you know, you just, like, kind of put it in, but all the, you know, dumb, you know, and so, yeah, just, you know, kind of like, clean it all up.
And it's reusable, so you can use it a bunch of times. And, you know, you can, you know, kind of mark off, you know, because you can use it 50 times.
So you just mark it off. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then, you know, when it's done, it's done.
Let's go get another one here.
[00:36:49] Speaker B: What else did they tell me? It was my fault they broke. That wasn't actually my fault.
[00:36:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
Welcome to being girl.
Okay. Manufacturer lead time, two weeks.
Jesus Christ. I can buy 500 of them.
I can buy it in bulk.
What, poppers?
Yeah, I. Holy. Yep.
So I can buy 500 of them for 5. $5,000.
Let's see what the data sheet says.
It's like, probably like, do not sniff this.
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Disclaimer.
Yeah. Effectively removes greases, oils, carbon static.
You can't remove. Oh, you can't remove static. Static, dirt and grime.
So, yeah, for the magnetic tape heads with zero residue. So, yeah, pretty much it's like alcohol. And you sniffed it and, like, really, like, relaxed your butthole or something.
[00:38:11] Speaker B: I had a small collection of really bad B movie VCRs. Like, I had a really tiny collection. And I'm talking, like, Attack of the Giant Leeches bad.
[00:38:24] Speaker A: Let's see.
This is what the Internet's great for. Attack the Giant Leeches.
Wow, look at that.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: It's so good.
[00:38:33] Speaker A: Watch it on Prime Video where it.
[00:38:35] Speaker B: Is, hands down, one of the most awful movies I've ever. Like, the leeches, like, take over and then they start. Like they're in a fucking swamp, and they take over and then they do mind control on a fucking blonde. Like, it's.
Oh, my God, it's such a bad movie.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Included with crime.
Oh, my God.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: This is like. Did I leave? You see the, like, monster. The Black Lagoon or whatnot?
[00:38:59] Speaker A: I'm sure I've. Everyone's seen it. They're all terrible ass movies.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: Okay. No, the first one was good. And the third one was okay. The second one I hated. I wasn't here for the last two.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: There was some, like, weird fucking movie.
I forget what it was. There's like, something about, like, the monsters and the corn.
[00:39:19] Speaker B: There was one about crabs that learned how to do mind control.
Oh, and all the good Godzilla movies, like, okay, black and white B movies were where it was fucking at, like, absolutely no money. The worst costumes you've ever seen in your life.
Yeah, see, now they're sucking on the blonde, and she. And, like, she comes back to life as, like, a zombie.
And, like, there. And of course, she's, like, super hot, and there's, like, a really fat policeman who has, like, the hots for her. But everyone's like, yeah, in your dreams, dude.
There was another one where, like, they. There was another one where they, like, recovered, like, a piece of flesh from the. From, like, the Arctic whatnot, and then it thawed and it started coming back to life, and then it reproduced itself back into a giant monster, and it was the worst.
[00:40:23] Speaker A: Like, I have, like, asked Shelby what the. That movie was.
It was, like, a weird movie, but it just had, like, random titties, like, spider sprinkled throughout the movie.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: That sounds amazing.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: And, like, they're not good titties either.
[00:40:37] Speaker B: Oh, that sucks. Like, saggy old titties. Or, like, they point to the side. Okay, I shouldn't say that.
Like, I'm very grateful my nipples don't point to the sides. Although they're so saggy now they probably do, like.
[00:40:50] Speaker A: Like, you know, kind of like, you know, sock and a ball. You know, like, Midwest weird titties.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: And then. Then there was, like, clay animation movies, like Jason and the Argonauts and fucking Sinbad of the Seven Seas. Oh, my God, I loved those movies.
Fucking what's his name in Hammerstein.
Chef Kiss movies.
Honest to God.
[00:41:18] Speaker A: Like, there. There was, like, Aliens versus Ninjas.
But, like. Like, I. I feel like a bunch of, like, high schoolers just went out and made movies, and they're like, this is actually pretty good. And then some bought it, and they're like, watch some other. Watch this.
[00:41:36] Speaker B: And then, like, after World War after, like, atomic bombs, like, first came on the scene, there were so many movies about animals getting exposed to it and mutating it and turning into these giants. Like, there's one about a giant spirit spider. There's a giant Gila monster. Oh, there was the giant ants one. That one. That was a good one.
[00:41:56] Speaker A: They made it Equal was good because Chernobyl happened and.
[00:42:01] Speaker B: Oh, this is pre Chernobyl.
Like, it was like when they first started doing it in, like, world. Did they have atomic bombs in World War I or World War II?
[00:42:10] Speaker A: Definitely World War II.
[00:42:11] Speaker B: Okay. So, like, it was right after that, like, they. They came out with an extra.
The ants one was really good, though. I loved that one.
[00:42:18] Speaker A: I mean, even the pan found out that we had, you know, Nukes.
You know, they. They came out and like, hey, Pearl Harbor. We're gonna, you know, drop some bombs on your ships and, you know, kamikaze.
[00:42:32] Speaker B: So my grandpa was there when it happened. And so he said he and his Navy buddies, they were out in the pier, and all of a sudden they started planes, started dive bombing. And they thought it was just the Air Force dudes being stupid because they would get drunk and they'd go out and fly their planes and do their stupid tricks. So they thought it was just that. And then all of a sudden, a bomb dropped down and, like, exploded, like, really close to my grandpa. And he and his bros were like, oh, shit. And, like, dove for cover and, like, only, like. Like, only he survived out of his squad.
[00:43:03] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:43:03] Speaker B: But, yeah, but at first I just thought it was the Air Force dudes being drunk off their ass and doing dumb shit. That was their first thought, of course.
[00:43:15] Speaker A: How many people were at Pearl Harbor?
2403 U.S. military personnel, citizens, civilians, were killed.
[00:43:25] Speaker B: How many people were killed in 9 11.
[00:43:28] Speaker A: Like 3,000.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: Okay.
Because, like, once 911 happened, everyone stopped caring about Pearl Harbor. It was the next. It was then it was a sequel.
[00:43:39] Speaker A: But yeah, and then 1,178 people were wounded in the attack.
[00:43:45] Speaker B: My grandpa was one of those, you.
[00:43:47] Speaker A: Know, like, it was bad time.
[00:43:50] Speaker B: Like, oh, no, it was not pretty.
War is not pretty.
[00:43:55] Speaker A: Like, like, originally, I think we even talked about this on a previous episode. I thought, like, they all flew from Japan.
Like, all the planes, like, all right, take off from here and go to Hawaii.
And it's like they just took off from a boat.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Yeah, like.
[00:44:12] Speaker A: Like, it's less impressive now.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: What do you mean it's less impressive?
[00:44:16] Speaker A: It's less impressive. Like, if they would have flown, how.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Is it less impressive?
[00:44:19] Speaker A: It, like, they did.
[00:44:22] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:44:22] Speaker A: How far is Japan from Hawaii?
Oh, it's 4,000 miles. Yeah. That would have been insane.
[00:44:30] Speaker B: Yeah. No, they didn't have planes in jet fuel at that point in.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That would have been insane if they would have, you know, direct flights if they had a. Flown for 10 hours.
You know, like, oh, America, I'm gonna go bomb their island that they kind of own a little bit, you know, and, like, they had 10 hours to think about it.
Yeah, that. That have been, like, more badass.
[00:45:00] Speaker B: Oh, them. That's what it was. The giant ants. It was them with an exclamation point.
That was a good one.
[00:45:08] Speaker A: Movie about monsters in the corner with a bunch of titties.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: I want to see what the Internet provides Read it out loud.
[00:45:19] Speaker A: You are asking for a movie that includes explicit sexual content.
Providing information about such content is not possible.
[00:45:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: It was like something about, you know.
You know, horror movie about monsters and corn.
Was it Children of the Corn?
[00:45:51] Speaker B: Everyone knows what that is.
[00:45:54] Speaker A: No, it was not Children.
[00:45:55] Speaker B: Yeah. No, that doesn't sound right.
[00:46:09] Speaker C: No.
[00:46:09] Speaker A: God, like, no one knows what the I'm talking about.
[00:46:12] Speaker B: Even Reddit left you down.
Dang.
That's from 2021.
Oh, that looks amazing.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: But, like, I don't know what this is not the movie, but it might be the movie.
It might. It might be the movie.
[00:46:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's amazing.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: Let's go in, yo. Yeah, it was definitely Sharks of the Corn. Holy.
Yeah. This is a hundred percent the fucking movie. Oh, my God.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: It's not even black and white.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's. It's not black and white. No. But, you know, there's, like, always, like, a fucking bunch of. Yeah, just like, you know, just fucking. Let's see when she, like, pulls out her fucking titties. Yeah. She's, like, running away.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: Oh, she's got nice titties.
[00:47:12] Speaker A: But, like. Yeah, the fucking shark and the shark and then, like, kills her ass.
And, like, they're, like, out like. Like, let's play hide and seek. And then. And, like, they both die.
[00:47:23] Speaker B: I cannot. You in the cornfield. Just so you know, good cornfields have.
[00:47:27] Speaker A: A bunch of bugs.
[00:47:28] Speaker B: Not even in the cornfield anymore.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: But the shark is coming.
[00:47:34] Speaker C: Isn't this, like, sharknado or.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: Oh, my. No, this is worse CGI than sharknado. Oh, my God.
[00:47:42] Speaker A: Let me share the screen with.
Oh, my God, Courtney so she can actually see what the. We're talking bad.
[00:47:50] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:47:51] Speaker A: There you go.
Oh, my God.
[00:47:56] Speaker C: My God.
[00:48:03] Speaker B: Oh, definitely. We need a closeup on the nipple.
[00:48:06] Speaker A: Oh, of course. Yeah.
[00:48:07] Speaker B: Wait, we're not. She. Wait, we don't get to see her butt.
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Is this POV of the shark of the shark? Yes.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: I feel like this could be a bad porno.
[00:48:19] Speaker A: It pretty much is a bad porno.
[00:48:21] Speaker B: Scarlet Fin.
Oh, there's her butt.
[00:48:25] Speaker A: Yeah, like the fucking.
[00:48:26] Speaker B: That doesn't look like her at all.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Well, no, that's a different person.
[00:48:29] Speaker B: Okay, so there's. Oh, there's more than one titties. There's more than one set of titties.
[00:48:33] Speaker A: I'm sure there is.
The.
[00:48:36] Speaker B: Are all these people.
[00:48:38] Speaker A: It's like a. They're, like, trying to find, like, the. The. The. The corn shark thing.
[00:48:43] Speaker B: Oh, my God. The corn shark is amazing.
Both sharks can live in Fresh water.
[00:48:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:48:54] Speaker A: So there's, like, way less titties than I originally thought.
[00:48:57] Speaker B: That's disappointing.
Although that dude's beard is pretty good.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: All right, that's enough of that.
[00:49:14] Speaker B: So although nothing will ever surpass Terror island with the vacuums that suck bones out of people's bodies and leave them in. In gelatinous states. And at one point, this dude, like, cut. Gets his arm cut off, but he swear to God, it just looks like a hose and they're just, like, pushing ketchup through it.
[00:49:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, sometimes practical effects are.
[00:49:34] Speaker B: You know, it just made it even better.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: Like, I love those, like, when it's not CGI and just, like, bad practical effects.
[00:49:42] Speaker B: They're putting their hearts into it. You can tell when they're. You can tell when they're like.
[00:49:47] Speaker A: Like somebody was sitting there. Like, that's pretty good. I like that.
[00:49:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:49:52] Speaker A: And like, everyone else is like, I need to keep my job, so I'm going to shut the up. That's God awful.
[00:50:00] Speaker C: Thank God.
[00:50:03] Speaker B: Oh, thank God. Babe, hand me my better beer. Yeah, no. Thank God.
[00:50:08] Speaker A: You scared my mochi.
[00:50:10] Speaker B: Oh, I. I'm sorry, Momo.
She was pissy before the podcast, though.
[00:50:15] Speaker A: I don't care.
She's still a great little baby.
[00:50:19] Speaker B: Oh, she is perfect princess.
[00:50:21] Speaker A: Let's. Let's do some quick stories.
A bear was on a Runway in Japan and it canceled a bunch of flights.
[00:50:31] Speaker B: Bears in Japan?
[00:50:32] Speaker A: Of course they do. At Yaga, at Yamagata Airport.
[00:50:37] Speaker B: What type of bears do they have?
[00:50:38] Speaker A: Black bear.
[00:50:39] Speaker B: A black bears are like orange cats.
They have chaos vibes, of course, but.
[00:50:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it was just like running around. They don't have guns to shoot it.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: So they're just like, why would they shoot a bear?
Oh, I mean, why would anyone shoot a bear?
[00:50:55] Speaker A: I mean, if you want to piss it off and die, you know, that's why you shoot a bear.
[00:51:00] Speaker B: No, bears are. Bears are top of the food chain predators. They need to be protected, not attacked.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: Bears are also, like, the top of, like, the gay pyramid too.
[00:51:11] Speaker B: I can't deny what you said.
[00:51:12] Speaker A: They are like premium gays.
Like, I. I love bears, but black.
[00:51:18] Speaker B: Bears are so cute. Okay, Grizzly bears, you don't want to with them. You definitely don't want to with polar bears.
[00:51:23] Speaker A: Don't with a grizzly bear.
[00:51:24] Speaker B: Black bears, they're. Black bears are okay if intelligence level, the scale of bears. Black bears are like, above sun bears. But that's. But okay, so it's some bears, black bears, and then the rest are, like, angsty and angry. The black bears are cute.
[00:51:41] Speaker A: I love the meme. It's like, if bears are not friends. Explain this. And it points to a bear's ears.
[00:51:46] Speaker B: They have soft, round ears. They don't have ear tufts.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: So, yeah, yeah, they had a bear out there. They, you know, Cap, you know, captured it.
December, a bear rampaged through a Japanese supermarket for two days, was lured out with food coated in honey, and it was trapped.
[00:52:08] Speaker B: Black bears are. They're just orange cats.
They just want snacks.
[00:52:13] Speaker A: Next story. The Doge employee Big Balls has resigned and is now working at the Social Security Administration.
So the.
[00:52:25] Speaker B: None of those words mean anything to me.
[00:52:27] Speaker A: So Doge is the department.
[00:52:30] Speaker B: I thought Doge was a coin.
[00:52:33] Speaker A: No, I mean, it is also, but, you know, Elon Musk is a meme. Lord. So it's a department of government efficiency. And so they, like, you know, cut dumb and people have a problem with it.
But that's neither here nor there. There is a dude that had the screen name Big Balls, and all the news outlets went insane. Like, this guy, Big Balls. Oh, my God, he's Big Balls. Look at him. He's Big Ball. Yeah.
[00:52:59] Speaker B: And it's like, he says, they had big balls. It means they have ugly balls.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: Oh, no, that was just his screen name. Like, his, like, Xbox name.
[00:53:09] Speaker B: And they took Xbox name up in a business.
[00:53:13] Speaker A: Well, no, like, they just found it. And I call Lucky's Big Balls, you.
[00:53:17] Speaker B: Know, what was your Xbox name, Alex?
[00:53:20] Speaker A: Truck.
Mouse Truck everywhere.
So. And then a surgeon asked a patient to perform a Heil Hitler salute in a private hospital.
Pretty much, you know, having a teenager back, hey, do a Heil Hitler and tell me if it hurts, you know, and she's like, oh, like, immediately afterwards. But, yeah, she, you know, got in a bunch of trouble for that.
Apparently, there is a Straight Pride festival in Idaho and somebody came out and, you know, got kicked out because, like, they were trying to, you know, bring inclusivity to it.
Like, Idaho people don't fuck around like that, you know.
[00:54:03] Speaker B: Why do people live in Idaho?
[00:54:06] Speaker A: They like potatoes a lot.
Denmark is going to tackle deep fakes by giving people copyright to their own features.
So you can't copyright it or you can't, you know, deep fake it. Because if you do deep fake, so, like, someone can take a boomer. Yeah, you are. So someone can take, like, a photo of me and have me talk and say whatever the they want. Because there's so much, you know, of my voice now on the Internet, they can easily copy my voice.
And so they're impersonating they can impersonate me with computers. Yeah.
[00:54:43] Speaker B: So AI.
[00:54:45] Speaker A: Yep. AI can impersonate me and, you know, pretty much.
Which could be amazing in the future.
[00:54:51] Speaker B: Right?
[00:54:53] Speaker A: You know, it's like, hey, this person's dead and now you can fucking talk to them.
[00:54:57] Speaker B: If someone takes my identity and go does evil shit, then I will no longer be just nice.
[00:55:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, how cool would it be? It's like, you know, I'm dead, but it's like, you know, some scientists took like all my podcasts and it's like, hey, you can talk to your husband. It's like, why is the only racist? It's like that. That's who your husband was.
[00:55:17] Speaker B: No. If you die, I'm going to dismember your body and eat the parts that I want. And the parts that I want to keep, I'm going to put in formalin.
So I will only take a tiny bite out of your dick. The rest I will preserve.
[00:55:29] Speaker A: Around a hundred thousand people march in Bucharest Pride and open defiance of Hungary's ban.
You know, the government's ban and police orders to march and what organizers called the largest LGBTQ+PRIDE event in Hungary's history is an open review rebuke. They said they can't fine and they could get heavy fines and police intervention, but they did it anyway, so good for these guys. I'm, I'm happy that, you know, a bunch of people are supporting the gay people. People.
[00:56:03] Speaker B: So does this change anything?
[00:56:04] Speaker A: No, but, you know, it, it, it's a step in the right direction. I'm like, yeah, let people be gay, dude. Like, you know, ugly men need like all the chance we can get.
[00:56:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:56:21] Speaker A: So a bunch of places are gonna up the minimum wage.
Not by a whole lot. It's going to be like cents. So it's gonna be like 50 cents in like a bunch of places in like California, Maryland, Illinois, but mostly California. Alameda, Berkeley, Emeryville, Fremont, Los Angeles, Millipedas, Pasadena. Don't know why I couldn't like think of that word for a second. San Fran, Santa Monica, Chicago.
[00:56:53] Speaker B: Hilarious. If you P Ville was up there.
[00:56:56] Speaker A: Chicago, Illinois. Montgomery County, Maryland.
So, yeah, they're, they're going up like, you know, a couple cents. Like 50 cents on average.
So good for those places, you know, you're all living in hell. So here's a little bone to throw you now. Now to Am I the. Let's get these done. Am I the. By true membership8294. Am I the. For wearing a two piece bikini to My granddaughter's birthday pool. Did you say granddaughters?
[00:57:27] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:57:28] Speaker A: That's amazing. I love this woman already. Not the I don't need to read further, but I will. My granddaughter Kelsey, 19 female and I 67 female.
Yeah, we're shopping for her 19th birthday party.
After she picked out an outfit for herself, she tried to pick out an outfit for me.
She all her suggestions were two piece bikinis. I gave obvious answers, but I said her generation, especially those in our state, isn't that judgmental. I wore two piece bikini to Kelsey's birthday party.
I was was flattered though.
I said I shouldn't wear it and didn't want her to feel like I'd have to hide herself when she gets older. The party was hosted by Kelsey's mom and my daughter Bridget, 44, female. After the party, Bridget told me it was inappropriate for a woman my age to wear that and a bunch of party aged youth, young people. She noticed herself was wearing a one piece instead of two piece. So grandma was wearing a oh my.
[00:58:31] Speaker B: God, Grandma's going to get all that fresh young D. And this is jealous.
[00:58:37] Speaker A: Yep. No grandma. Go rock that.
[00:58:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna be wearing it. Okay. It'll probably be a tankini, but I'm gonna be wearing a two piece when I'm in my 60s. Should I live that long?
[00:58:49] Speaker A: So no, you're not the grandma that you're awesome.
Am I the for not telling my wife I'm moving to Hawaii permanently? Depends on your wife, but probably not. I, 26, male. Yep, you're an have been married to my wife, 25 female, for four years. Not the her and I have had our fair share of disagreements, SL arguments that turn into one of us raising our voices, even though we never blatantly yelled at one another or using words like etc.
I've never used etc in a fight, never directly to one another about whatever we're disagreeing on. She has left me four times. First two were a week long. Third, she said it was over and she would eventually file papers. Separated for five months. And the fourth, she said we need a few months before we can talk again. Just fucking get divorced, dude.
[00:59:40] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:59:41] Speaker A: We started to see a therapist in psych and recently diagnosed a number of things, such as I've been struggling with psychosis, among other such things. Ptsd, depression, anxiety. Yep, Boomer or millennial. She's always been the one to leave and eventually plans far ahead when she does leave. She's never given me a warning. She's always been all right, I'm out and already having things in place for herself. The last time was like every other plant time. She planned it and found out and I found out.
As she was grabbing things to leave. I felt on my knees pleading with her as I've been at my lowest mentally before she left and I don't have contact with her family anymore. She's telling me all the tournaments I haven't. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So you know this person?
Hawaii. I have a family member who I haven't seen in decades stationed there.
Him and I have always had an amusing relation or amazing relationship.
And anyway, I tried reaching out to as many people as I could. I cry. Blah, blah, blah. Darker and darker. I'm sad and sad. I booked my flight and said I won't be filing papers. I'm afraid the cycle will continue as I'll take you back back. But I got to do this. But I have plans and up and leaving. We currently share an apartment which she has moved out of for the most part. I. I'd be leaving her at the lease for the last two months. So essentially am I the for leaving her high and dry this time? As far as legal consequences, she won't pursue that. She doesn't really believe in it. Long story.
[01:01:10] Speaker B: Okay, I feel like, okay, A, op's wife's behavior is abusive, but I feel like B, she's only following a pattern that was that she's only seen before. The way she keeps like, being like, I'm leaving, but then she comes back. My mom would do that all the time to my dad, like, and it just. It never got them anywhere. And it was just both of them hiding from the fact that A, they both had mental issues and were not. And were not ruling willing to work on themselves and then expected God to magically fix things. So Op get. Get the. Away from her. She.
[01:01:43] Speaker A: They're still young. Get it the out.
[01:01:45] Speaker B: She's manipulating you in ways neither of you understand at this point. Like, therapy's needed on both ends. But Op, please get away from her.
[01:01:53] Speaker A: I mean, you. You got married at 22. That's too young to get married, honestly.
[01:01:58] Speaker B: Excuse you?
[01:01:59] Speaker A: Too young to get married? I wasn't married at 22.
Oh, yeah, in North Dakota.
[01:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I got married when I was 23 and you were 24.
[01:02:12] Speaker A: What are you talking about?
[01:02:15] Speaker B: Okay, six.
[01:02:16] Speaker A: When we got married, you were.
[01:02:18] Speaker B: Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter. Op needs to get away from his wife. He needs to file divorce and he needs to go no contact.
[01:02:26] Speaker A: Yep. Just file divorce, no fault, whatever you know, just back done with it, you know. Top comment, Stop taking her back and.
[01:02:34] Speaker B: Making that much physical distance. Distance is good for you.
[01:02:37] Speaker A: So. Yep.
And this is relationship advice. My girlfriend, 24, female, reminded me, 28, male, to pay her $10 after I forgot my wallet. I've paid for almost everything over four years and it left me feeling weird, you know that this is by professional cry. 5, 10, I, 28, male, have been with my girlfriend, 24 female, for four years. We're serious, but plan on getting married. Throughout the relationship, I paid for nearly everything. Dates, trips, foods, gifts, you name it. Easily 99% of all expenditures recovered by me. She's never offered to split or pay. I've never asked her to. I was working full time and doing financially well, so I don't mind. Recently though, I quit my job because I was mentally exhausted. We've been going through a bit of. I've been going through a bit of a burnout and I needed a break. She on the other hand, is currently working full time and is doing fine financially. The other day we went out and she wanted a bubble tea. She I forgot my wallet and my phone was dead. So I asked her to pay for it. It was like $10. She paid, she drank it and I dropped her off at her apartment the next morning. She reminded me to send her the money. I was completely, I had completely forgotten and I sent it right away. But it left me feeling weird. Weird. I spent thousands on her over the years and never asked for a dime back. And now that I'm out of a job and she's doing well, she couldn't handle a ten dollar bubble bubble tea.
It's not about the money, it's about what she says. I can't tell if I'm overthinking that or it's a red flag. I've always, you know, treated a relationship as a partnership. This just felt transactional. Am I being too sensitive or is this worth paying attention to?
[01:04:22] Speaker B: The is wrong with OP's partner.
[01:04:26] Speaker A: So yeah, I mean, okay, A, that.
[01:04:28] Speaker B: Bubble tea had better been good because I only ever pay $8 for a bubble tea. But like B, what planet is she living on?
[01:04:39] Speaker A: She's taking advantage of UOP.
[01:04:41] Speaker B: Yeah, 100 bucks.
[01:04:44] Speaker A: You know, she's gonna get every penny she can out of you and then you know, one. One sits on your like a little fun fling and she's being irresponsible and. Yeah.
[01:04:59] Speaker B: So update.
[01:05:00] Speaker A: Oh yeah, there's definitely an update. They break up update. Thanks for everyone who commented. I've Been reading and it really helped me step back and see things clearly. Good, fine. Mochi, you can have your.
There.
There you go, baby girl.
There.
[01:05:28] Speaker B: Oh, she wanted her window.
[01:05:30] Speaker A: No, she did. Thanks for everyone who commented. I've been reading. It really helped me step back and see things clearly. When we started dating, we were both students. I was finishing engineering and she and already had a job lined up. I also worked as a ta, so I was doing fine financially. She was still a student, so I paid because she was broke. I never asked her to pay and she never offered. Still never offered to split anything, even the small stuff. I tried bringing up equality and shared effort, but she always shut it down with comments like, you're the man. You should take care of me, or we can't have two women in a relationship.
What really got me is I stopped proposing dates or doing any everything. And she said I wasn't making enough effort.
Meanwhile, I've been carrying this on for four years. That bubble tea wasn't about the $10. It was about realizing how little support I was getting back.
[01:06:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:27] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, pretty much everyone is, you know, roasting her. It's like, yeah, big red flag football leave.
[01:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah, dump her ass.
[01:06:33] Speaker A: Dump. Dump her. Get rid of her.
[01:06:35] Speaker B: But I go find a sugar daddy who can actually afford her.
[01:06:40] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, let's see.
[01:06:45] Speaker B: You ever feel like that, babe?
[01:06:47] Speaker A: That. That you never pay for nothing?
[01:06:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:50] Speaker A: I mean, I know you can't because you're poor.
That's why, you know, mean, I'm not.
[01:06:59] Speaker B: Just poor because I don't make money. I make. I'm poor because I'm sick, have lots of doctor visits and have to pay for medicine and tests.
[01:07:08] Speaker A: Well, I can run you a budget.
You mean run you a budget?
[01:07:12] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:07:13] Speaker A: All right, well, we'll get. We'll get to that.
Like, one of my favorite YouTube channels as of late is Caleb Hammer.
He runs a channel called Financial Audit, where he is just mean to people. He just goes through their fucking financials and just roasts them.
And he finds the dumbest fucking people he could ever possibly find to get on the show because he think, like, they think they're gonna be famous after going on the show.
[01:07:46] Speaker B: That's never a good way.
[01:07:47] Speaker A: And they're like, I'm just a dumb girl. I don't know what I'm doing. He's like, you have ruined your entire life. You took out your entire 401k to go buy a car, which doesn't work.
I'm just dumb. And it's like. And you're three years behind on your IRS debts, you dumb fucking idiot.
[01:08:07] Speaker B: I logged in the other day to see what my 401k was. Do you want to guess what it was?
[01:08:12] Speaker A: Probably like $300.
[01:08:13] Speaker B: It was 76.
[01:08:15] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. You want to know what my 401k is?
[01:08:17] Speaker B: No.
[01:08:20] Speaker A: $92,000.
[01:08:23] Speaker B: I'm only investing 1% of my paycheck into my 401k. And that's not a lot.
[01:08:32] Speaker A: It's whatever.
[01:08:34] Speaker B: Why does Prime Day have early day, early day sales?
[01:08:39] Speaker A: That way they can get you in the door.
[01:08:41] Speaker B: Oh, look it.
[01:08:42] Speaker A: Look, you can get. You come in early and get these deals quickly. That way fucking our warehouse workers don't commit suicide.
You know, when Prime Day fucking hits, you know, let's fucking move it out and make it like, prime week.
[01:08:57] Speaker B: Prime Day has to suck so much.
[01:08:59] Speaker A: Of course it does.
Like, I feel like people in the Amazon warehouse jump off the building so they don't have to do it.
Like, there's been days where I worked retail, and it wasn't even a crazy holiday. I'm just like, it's Monday and I thought about crashing my car so I wouldn't have to go to work. I'm like, I would lose my car, but I wouldn't have to go to work.
[01:09:21] Speaker B: I feel you so much right now. You have no idea. I felt that so much all the time about my first job. Fuck, I hated my first job, okay? The owner and the vets that worked there were doing so much shady shit that after I left, I reported. Reported to them to the state board. And when I came back, like a year later for, like, family stuff, they had been shut down good.
Yay.
[01:09:49] Speaker A: A bad boss. Like, I have good bosses right now. Like, and that. That's why I've been there for so long. You know, it's not like, oh, your family. And here's like, the. No, it's just like, you leave me the alone and let me do my job without micromanaging me. That. That's all I want. Just leave me the alone, you know, I know what to do. Here you go. Boom, boom, boom. Here's all my paperwork. Here's all the things that you guys need to do your job so your bosses don't breathe down your neck, you know? But everything else, yeah, cool. And boom, we're, you know, doing awesome. But that. That's how we're gonna go ahead and end this episode.
This was a weird ass episode.
[01:10:31] Speaker B: So I had so much fun.
[01:10:32] Speaker C: Yeah, it.
[01:10:34] Speaker A: It is fine. I mean.
[01:10:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm not cool.
[01:10:39] Speaker A: It's fine. You don't have to be cool.
You never have to be cool.
[01:10:44] Speaker B: Do you think I'm a good person?
[01:10:47] Speaker A: Do you think I'm a good person? No, I'm not a good person.
[01:10:51] Speaker B: But you're purposely not a good person.
Do you think I'm a failing adult.
[01:10:58] Speaker A: Without me?
[01:10:58] Speaker B: Yes, you're true. But do you respect me at least.
[01:11:04] Speaker A: As a woman with a vagina? Yeah.
[01:11:07] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[01:11:08] Speaker B: If I didn't have a vagina, would you not respect me?
[01:11:11] Speaker A: I wouldn't be with you.
[01:11:12] Speaker B: This is true.
So you don't respect people who don't have vaginas?
[01:11:19] Speaker A: I mean, if they have penises.
I'm like, hell yeah, brother.
[01:11:26] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[01:11:27] Speaker A: Good, good work, Andrew Tate.
[01:11:30] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[01:11:34] Speaker A: Oh.
[01:11:34] Speaker C: I'm like, so.
[01:11:35] Speaker A: I don't know why people love Andrew Tate so much.
Like, that blows my mind. I'm like, dude. He's just like something like, dude, bro, knock it off.
[01:11:46] Speaker B: The is a dude, bro.
[01:11:49] Speaker A: Like a fucking frat dude that goes to a college and is like, hey, girl, I'll love you forever. You're the cutest girl here. You don't go upstairs and smash and she's like, yeah.
And then they go up and, you know, fuck. And she gets pregnant and he never. She never hurt. Hears from him again. That's like a fucking dude, bro.
You know, Stop making those people your hero. Like, make like, you know, Neil degrasse Tyson. Your fucking hero.
Guy's great. Love him.
You know, Make Bill Nye your hero. Make smart people your hero.
[01:12:23] Speaker B: Bill, Bill, Bill.
[01:12:25] Speaker A: Everyone likes bill.
[01:12:26] Speaker B: Bill.
[01:12:26] Speaker A: Make LeVar Burton your hero.
[01:12:29] Speaker B: I thought he was a rap artist. LeVar Burton, clearly, I don't know who that is.
[01:12:35] Speaker A: LeVar Burton was the dude in Star Trek that had the, you know, single glasses.
[01:12:39] Speaker B: Ah, that dude was dope.
[01:12:41] Speaker A: Now he has a podcast called LeVar Burton Reads.
[01:12:45] Speaker B: What does he read?
[01:12:47] Speaker A: Just, like, short stories.
[01:12:49] Speaker B: Sounds cool.
[01:12:50] Speaker A: It is amazing. It is a really good and well done podcast.
[01:12:55] Speaker B: I wrote a short story once.
[01:12:58] Speaker A: You know, he, like, levard Burton, he just goes through and like, none of them are famous stories.
He doesn't, like, read, like, you know, commercial works, just, you know, kind of like independent stories that he gets permission from the artist to read. It's like, you know, from this, you know, you know, author and just.
And they're like, well written stories. And like, you know, he, like, does his research, unlike me. And I'm like, dude, like, it's one of the podcasts I listen to in my truck all the time.
Yeah, I've listened, like, multiple stories multiple times.
So, yeah, give that podcast a listen. If you've never heard of Lavar Burton Raids.
Excellent. Listen.
So that. That's how we're gonna end this episode. Go listen to Lar Burton.
There's some cool going on in the world.
Don't get discouraged by the bad things.
Don't sit there and watch the news and.
[01:14:03] Speaker B: Yeah, especially Fox. Don't.
[01:14:06] Speaker A: Don't watch any news. You don't hate the mainstream media enough. Okay. Just know that you know they're going to lie to you. Everyone's going to lie to you. Believe, like, nothing that you hear and, like, you know only 10% of what you see.
So we'll see you next week. Bye.
[01:14:24] Speaker B: Bye.
