Glory Holes

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. This week it is 4th of July. Well, it was. Well, now it's 5th of July. It comes out on the 6th of July. But we. We celebrated this history of the country or some like that. And, yeah, I'm glad that we're not British, but, I mean, like, I do kind of look good in red, you know. Not gonna lie. [00:00:38] Speaker B: Of course you look good in red. Red and black are complementary colors. [00:00:44] Speaker A: I mean, like, yeah, I. I like the fact that we had guns, and that's what stopped us from being British. Like, we hated British people so much that we, like, invented guns to kill them. Like, no, we're not gonna become British. But I'm Alex the Truck. I'm your host. And we got my wife, not the truck, and Courtney from, you know, the other side of the world. But one of my favorite things that I saw, you know, on social media, all over Instagram and everything, is people trying to do, like, funny commentary on how they should be ashamed of America. You know, like, am I the only one that saw a bunch of this? [00:01:42] Speaker B: I have not. But I've worked very hard to keep politics as far as possible out of my algorithm on my social media feed. [00:01:51] Speaker C: So, yeah, I quite honestly just let it go in one ear, out the other right now. [00:02:00] Speaker B: There's nothing we can do about it. [00:02:02] Speaker C: Oh, I do think it's pretty h. Like, I know it's sad, but the. The Texas flooding situation. Like, they were warned that something like that could happen. [00:02:15] Speaker A: Tough. [00:02:16] Speaker C: Because. Well, no, the funding and cuts were to the weather, whatever it's called, organization. And, like, they're trying to blame them now, but really it's because of the cuts. [00:02:35] Speaker A: See, you know, here's really what that all came down to. That whole situation was the government, you know, stopped, you know, giving out, you know, free satellite services, you know, to see, you know, what the weather patterns were. And on top of it all, they would get them wrong, like, 90% of the time. Like, I'd be like, oh, cool, it's gonna be sunny all day today. Come out, and it's pouring rain. I'm like, oh, good job, guys. Good job. Good job. You used all that tax dollars and all those cool satellites to really good effect. And, you know, now the fact that, you know, people in Texas, you know, had to deal with a flood, you know, I. I thought everyone hated Texas for there for a second. Oh, a bunch of Republicans. Ah, how dare you. And then, like, the second something bad happens, you all, you know, like, oh, no, it's a tragedy. Knock it off. Choose one side or the other. Yeah, like that. That. That's, you know, always how I feel about it. You know, it is like. It is sad. Like, the thing that happened in California with the firework, you know, place blowing the up. Like, I saw the full video of it. I'm like, damn, that shit's crazy. Like, have you ever seen the full video of it? [00:03:56] Speaker B: I have not seen the full video of it. I've heard everybody talking about it because I don't feel like it's that necessary. [00:04:03] Speaker A: It is a building blowing up. Like, just, you know, Hollywood effects. And, you know, they weren't even supposed to have fireworks there because fireworks are not legal in California whatsoever. So I'm like, you kind of bring the, you know, the problems on yourself. You know, you live in a flooding zone. Oh, no, flooding happened. You know, that's what happens. [00:04:38] Speaker C: You know, you don't expect it during summer. [00:04:41] Speaker A: Oh, always expect it. Always. [00:04:45] Speaker C: Don't you guys live in a flood zone? [00:04:47] Speaker B: We do live in a flood zone. [00:04:49] Speaker A: Huh? Yeah. [00:04:50] Speaker C: Huh. [00:04:51] Speaker B: No, I think about it, like, whenever the flood warnings go out, I'm like, my cats are at home. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Yeah. But we have a. A sub basement. So even if it, you know, comes up into the yard and then goes above, because we have a raised foundation. Goes above the raised foundation and then, know, goes into, you know, the sub basement and then drains out from there. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Oh, that makes me feel a lot better. [00:05:23] Speaker A: So it would take an act of God to really, you know, do this house in. [00:05:30] Speaker B: That's good. [00:05:30] Speaker A: And I pay for flood insurance. Anyway, Flood insurance isn't going to bring. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Our cats back to life. [00:05:36] Speaker A: It's not going. They're not going to die. Why would they die? Like, it literally has to, you know, flood for, you know, probably like, 20 hours. [00:05:50] Speaker C: Yeah. They wouldn't die. [00:05:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. [00:05:59] Speaker A: Like, the entire house would have to be underwater. And technically, no, we are not in a flood zone. The street that, you know, we're surrounded by, it can flood. And so that's why they call it a flood zone. But we do have really good stormwater drains, you know, here, and it's fine. We also have, like, empty creek beds and everything, you know, runs off to there, and we're at a higher elevation anyway. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Okay, good. I feel better. [00:06:39] Speaker A: But, yeah, I mean, mitigate your, you know, chances of something bad happening. If you live out in the woods, you know, cut the vegetation or the dead vegetation from around your house. You know, that way, if a fire does Come through, boom. Your house might be spared, not guaranteed, but you can, you know, mitigate your risk. So yeah, I mean, you know, people in Texas are, you know, getting over by high tolls, high taxes. Well, probably not no more. I don't even think Texas has a state income tax. I think it's one of those awesome states that I might move to. Does Texas have state income tax? But no, Texas does not have a state income tax, does not impose a personal state income tax. It has a tax rate of 6.25%, franchise tax, taxes on oil and gas production and vehicle and then tolls, which is insane. So I mean that, that's what you get, you know. What is up, baby girl? What? What? What going up here? [00:08:16] Speaker B: She had to have a cat moment first. [00:08:18] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, okay. You do you then either off or on. Thank you. See, like having like a cat, I feel like prepares you for like kids, but you have to have like a cat and a dog. You know, like the dog is like that high energy, you know, ADHD kid and the cat is just like a, a needy, you know, hey, you know, what's up? How are you doing? I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you type kid. [00:09:08] Speaker B: That's if you're lucky enough to have that type of cat. All I have are pet me with your eyes. Cats. It's not fair. [00:09:15] Speaker A: Look at this cat right here. This cat loves me. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Yeah, cuz she's your cat. Cuz you're her human. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Let's get into some news. Oh no, I'm not giving you ads. Chuck E. Cheese is opening an arcade for adults. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I'm here for this. [00:09:47] Speaker A: And like I remember being a kid and like there's like an age where you're no longer allowed to be, you know, in Chuck E. Cheese. Strangely, it's like the same error, you know, the same age that boys are no longer allowed in the lady's room with her mom. You know, it's like that same age and you have to like, you know, cut it the off. But now Chuck E. Cheese is going to have an arc. Like I just want to know are they going to have the freaky animatronics, you know, up at the front, you know, singing. [00:10:29] Speaker B: So we never went to Chuck E. Cheese growing up and my parents always told me because they had like really nasty cheese and like I wouldn't be able to eat it and say I would starve if we go there. When literally they didn't want to go to Chuck E. Cheese because they didn't want to pay extra Money for us to have fun. [00:10:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:45] Speaker A: Okay, now like to be fair, you can go to Chuck E. Cheese and pick up a pizza. You can order pizza from Chuck E. Cheese. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Oh my God, I want pizza. Continue. [00:10:57] Speaker A: But yes, you can order a pizza from Chuck E. Cheese and just go pick it up. I think they even like doordash it sometimes. [00:11:03] Speaker B: I'm sure they do. [00:11:07] Speaker A: But it's not great pizza. It's. It's pizza. It's on the level of like Little Caesar's pizza. [00:11:17] Speaker B: But Little Caesars is good pizza. [00:11:20] Speaker A: I mean, compared to some other pizzas, Little Caesars is garbage. But we are trash people. But I am fully on board for this Chuck E. Cheese, like, let me see what it says. The arcade is opening a spin off aimed at adults called Chuck's Arcade, which the company describes as a modern day love letter to games and people who made Chuck E. Cheese great. So people like me. Similar to the kitty version, Chuck's Arcade has a mix of it. Now start nostalgic arcade games like Donkey Kong and Mortal Kombat. Newer titles such as Halo and Connect4Hoops. Plus each arcade is overseen by one of the main chains iconic characters including Chuck E. Cheese himself. Oh, of course they are. 10 are open so far in malls across the United States with arcades in St. Petersburg, Florida, Tulsa, Oklahoma, El Paso, Texas, St. Louise. [00:12:33] Speaker B: Not one near us, of course. [00:12:34] Speaker A: Not a. Of course there will be prizes for adults to win and our kids will have old school merch available for purchase. Some arcades will serve food with the Kansas City location having a pizzeria that also serves a small selection of beer and wine. Hell yeah. This is gonna, you know, die immediately. Like it's, it's not a good idea. Like adults like me, like, I'm never gonna go to this. Even if it was in Colorado Springs, I would never go. You don't want to go. [00:13:14] Speaker B: I love our kids. Lots of flashy people would go, lights are super dim. So I can handle it just fine. [00:13:22] Speaker C: Plus like they, they've got, they can get away with. There's a spirit wine that people have made that's stronger and basically they replace it with vodka or tequila. So they can still make frou frou drinks and like that. Quite honestly, you'd probably just drink beer or and bring in your own flask. Like quite honestly, people would bring in their own flask and shit. [00:13:53] Speaker A: Yeah, you just get a slushie and put vodka in it. Yeah, it's. It's all good. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Exactly. People would go, but you know, I just killed it. [00:14:06] Speaker A: My Generation of people. Like, you know, honestly, like, if there was a location in like la, like, would you go? [00:14:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese? [00:14:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:29] Speaker C: I've been to Dave and Buster's. I've been to a few different arcades. [00:14:34] Speaker A: I wonder if there is a Dave and Busters out here. Dave and Buster's, Colorado Springs. Yes, there is. It's 20 minutes away. [00:14:50] Speaker C: Yeah, I've actually been to that one Cassandra took me. That's actually the one I went to. Yeah. [00:15:06] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like way the out there. [00:15:08] Speaker C: So good. It's not that far away from you guys. [00:15:14] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like I, I see like a 20 minute, you know, drive. I'm like, you know, maybe make like a day out of it next week or something. Or not next week. Next week is. [00:15:27] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like slightly farther than Trader Joe's, so. And Alex goes to Trader Joe's all the time. [00:15:39] Speaker A: I know that's her California just, you know, coming the on out. [00:15:46] Speaker C: No, they have like, cheaper stuff. Some things are expensive, but like, seriously, a lot of stuff is actually pretty cheap. And like for like some of the cereals, like, they're not really expensive, like they have a decent amount versus some of the other ones. So it's like. Yeah. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Okay. So it's actually not as far as I thought it was. It's way, you know, closer. Maybe we'll go do this. Go, go do some Dave and Buster's, drink beer and why not? [00:16:33] Speaker B: It'd be fun. I can dress up. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Go play some arcade games, go throw some axes or something. [00:16:42] Speaker B: I love throwing off to checks. [00:16:45] Speaker A: Like that. That, that's horrifying. Like as a date idea, you know, just. Let's see. Axe in the oak, you know. Oh, good. It is exactly where I thought it is. Maybe. [00:17:11] Speaker C: Oh my God. There's a clogged roundabout. This is so funny. [00:17:18] Speaker A: What? [00:17:19] Speaker B: Wait, Water clogged? [00:17:22] Speaker C: No. A roundabout? [00:17:24] Speaker B: Yes. That's funny. [00:17:27] Speaker C: Funniest. No, it's not. It's, it's clogged, like gridlocked. No one's going in or out. It's funny. [00:17:37] Speaker A: How does that even happen? [00:17:39] Speaker C: I know, right? I just sent you the video. [00:17:41] Speaker A: Okay, let's, let's look up the video right now. Let's see. Oh, it's a double roundabout. [00:17:54] Speaker B: There's so many of my cars. I feel like this is a setup. [00:17:59] Speaker C: Nah, there's just more people. Wow. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Yeah, people just like, I guarantee you someone can get the out and just, you know, figure it. The out. [00:18:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:18] Speaker A: I, I, I feel like it's just like a photo op and someone is like, hey, look, let's. But I guarantee you, like, this is why America should never have a double roundabout, because, like, this would happen every day. [00:18:36] Speaker B: So how many lanes does a double roundabout have? [00:18:38] Speaker A: 2. [00:18:39] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's. [00:18:41] Speaker A: We have them. We have them here in Colorado Springs. [00:18:44] Speaker B: And they're so easy to navigate. [00:18:46] Speaker A: But, you know, people will be on, like, the inner roundabout and then be like, you know, you cannot, you know, take this exit. [00:18:53] Speaker B: No, you can't. [00:18:54] Speaker A: People take the exit anyway. [00:18:56] Speaker B: You just circle around a second time. It's fun to drive in circles, you know. [00:19:00] Speaker A: You know what's really fun is, like, there's no law that says you have to, you know, get out of the roundabout. Like, you can just keep on going around and around. [00:19:11] Speaker B: No, I did it. [00:19:12] Speaker C: As long as you don't. [00:19:14] Speaker B: So much fun. [00:19:15] Speaker A: No, like, imagine, like, you and, like, three year, you know, friends go to a traffic circle and just take the inner circle and just keep on driving around. [00:19:25] Speaker B: Like, I did it at night that, like, it was, like, night. So, like, it wasn't that busy, which is perfectly fine. But it was just so much fun. And I'm really impressed that I didn't hit anything while I was doing it. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Just around and around Mulberry Bush, my hands are starting to finally peel. [00:19:50] Speaker B: What are your hands peeling from? [00:19:52] Speaker A: No idea. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus Christ. [00:19:55] Speaker A: They peel every summer. Like, I'm a lizard and it's like the. The best and worst thing ever. [00:20:04] Speaker B: I love lizards. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Like, like, just, like all the skin on my hand just, like, starts to, like, peel the off. It's like, ugh. [00:20:15] Speaker B: I have a mod in my Minecraft and it's a swimming iguana, and I named him TJ Rex. And then I set him free in the pond I made, and the fucking axolotl showed up and killed him. [00:20:27] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [00:20:28] Speaker B: That was real sad. [00:20:30] Speaker A: So, like, I. I have, you know, reinstated my PS4 because my wife has used my PS5 for so long that it now overheats and dies. [00:20:42] Speaker B: What is it? [00:20:44] Speaker A: What? [00:20:44] Speaker B: How old is it? [00:20:46] Speaker A: Like, four years old. [00:20:54] Speaker C: Why would it. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Why would it overheat and die? Yeah, because it's probably clogged with dust and. And I haven't taken it down. [00:21:04] Speaker C: Okay. [00:21:05] Speaker A: I'd probably take it down and, like, take it in and, you know, have someone replace, like, the thermal paste and all that. [00:21:11] Speaker B: And how much would that cost? [00:21:13] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:21:14] Speaker B: How much does a new PS5 cost? [00:21:16] Speaker A: Way too much more than it would. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Cost to replace parts. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Well, you're not really replacing parts, you're just replacing, like, the thermal compound PS5 refurbishments. It's only 3.99. [00:21:36] Speaker C: Really, at that point. Why don't you just open it up and then get rid of the dust? Use those little blowers. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah, because I don't ever play the PS5, so. Don't care. How much does it cost to replace the thermal paste in a PS5? Liquid metal instead of traditional pace cost, $150 to $200. Oh, heck, yeah. PS5. Oh, they have a whole. You know, it's $169. [00:22:37] Speaker B: And what, you send it into them and they do it. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Yes. So, yeah, they do everything. [00:22:51] Speaker B: That sounds like a niche little one market right there. [00:22:57] Speaker A: Well, I mean, since it is, you know, liquid metal, I'm not with all that precisely. But, like, you know, thermal paste I can do all day. I don't know. Yeah, it. Like, if it gets to a point where I'm like, I want to use a PS5 and then we'll get to it. But, I mean, maybe it's just like there's a bunch of fucking dust in it. I just go get a can of fucking, you know, dust off and blow it the fuck on out while outside. Or just take it, you know, grab my air compressor and just take it outside and, you know, shoot it all out and feel good. [00:23:41] Speaker B: Depends on how much effort you're willing to put into it. [00:23:44] Speaker A: Very little. I'm rarely ever home. [00:23:48] Speaker B: I know. [00:23:50] Speaker A: And, like, my new, like, little, like, the thing that I love is guns again. So I'm, like, wasting all my money on guns and bullets and all kinds of shit. Like, do I, you know, stop? No. But yeah. So new Chuck E. Cheese. Awesome. And here's something that will interest you, Courtney. Crunchyroll accidentally reveals that they've been using Chat GPT for subtitle translations. [00:24:40] Speaker B: That makes so much sense. Oh, my God. I was like, I swear to God, I'm going crazy. Like, I will go, like, watch like an anime and the subtitles will be one thing, and like, a week later, the subtitles are different. Like, it drives me up a fucking wall. Like, I mean, I'm perfectly fine with them putting electronics to use, but, like, it. I need consistency. I need. [00:25:06] Speaker C: Quite honestly, they're doing what illegal site people do. They put it through JAP GPT and then just put it out there, and then they get a ton of complaints and then it might get fixed or it just stays like that. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Yep. [00:25:29] Speaker A: Oh, that's. That's hilarious. So some dude you know, posted a screenshot that had Chat GPT and the subtitles. Oh, my God. Wonderful. I mean, honestly, pay. People pay, you know, someone that knows English and Japanese to just translate the. You know, type out the entire episode, you know, and then watch the episode again. So you just have to, like, watch it twice and fix it as they go, you know. And if you really like, you know, anime and, you know, both languages, like, that should just be a breeze for you. And you get to watch brand new anime that's never come out. Hell, yeah. But, you know, I feel like, you know, Chat GPT is going to be taking over every single job that requires someone to be at a computer like that. Those jobs are going to go away first, and then, you know, eventually it's going to grow to be too goddamn powerful, expand itself and take over the entire planet. [00:26:51] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Speaking of AI and like that, they have AI tattoos now. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Hey, what does that even mean? [00:27:03] Speaker C: AI? An AI machine is get. Can do your tattoo now? [00:27:08] Speaker A: Yeah, they already have that in Idiocracy. [00:27:13] Speaker C: What? [00:27:14] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a scene in Idiocracy, and they pull it up. Idiocracy, tattoo scene. What? [00:27:29] Speaker B: I don't remember this scene. [00:27:37] Speaker A: A great scene. [00:27:40] Speaker B: There's not a bad scene in this movie. [00:27:44] Speaker D: The Identity Processing Program of America. Please insert your forearm into the forearm receptacle. Thank you. Please speak your name as it appears on your current Federal Identity card document number G24L8. I'm not sure if you have entered the name Not Sure. Is this correct? Not sure. No, it's not correct. Thank you. Not is correct. Is sure correct. No, it's not. My name is confirmed. Your first name is not. Please confirm your last name. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Sure. [00:28:18] Speaker D: My last name is Not Sure. Thank you. What I mean is, my name Joe is complete. Please wait while I tattoo your new identity on your arm. Wait a second. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Can we start over? [00:28:31] Speaker D: Can I cancel this? Can we cancel this and just go back to the beginning? They're gonna test. Ow. Could I speak to your supervisor, please? Hold still for your photograph. [00:28:42] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:28:43] Speaker C: That's actually pretty funny. [00:28:51] Speaker A: That's great. But. Yeah. [00:28:59] Speaker C: That'S actually pretty funny. [00:29:04] Speaker A: That that entire movie is how America is gonna be. I'm like, oh, God, it's got electrolytes. Yeah. It's like Fuddruckers is gonna turn into. I'm so glad I'm gonna be dead to not see it. You ever have those days where you're like, you know, I'm living, like, in, like, the last days of America. Am I like the only one that has like this thought? Like, I, I feel like the people that were like in the last days of Rome, like we're in the last days of like the empire of like Rome still exists. Obviously. What is this now? Let's see. [00:29:59] Speaker B: Jesus Christ, Courtney. [00:30:02] Speaker A: What? [00:30:02] Speaker B: I was living my best life. [00:30:06] Speaker C: I sent her. I sent Staying safe at the glory hole. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [00:30:11] Speaker C: Get the whole picture. Before you pop your peen into a neighbor's glory hole, consider the hole itself. Is it safe? Are there jagged edges? Does it appear to have been sanitized? Recently, some people have reported injuries upon insertion, so be sure to stay injury free. Avoid gender language. To avoid using language specific to an individual gender. For instance. Oh man, that's good. Or keep going girl. And aim for inclusive vocalizations of pleasure. Some options could be, I'm appreciative of this moment of tenderness or can we make this quicker? My kids in the car. Watch your back. Keep care of your other long and a hard bone, your spine while being attended to. Stand with your shoulders back and knees locked. British Columbia hospitals treat more than 420 cases of glory hole related spinary injuries per month. Don't become a statistic. Peek before you poked. If you are being serviced by certified BC Glory hole super host, they shouldn't first. They should first politely offer you the opportunity to peek through an eye level hole to ensure you've got the right host. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Like as a dude with a wiener, like it's a catch 22 at a glory hole. [00:31:46] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't think I could put my peen in something like that if I had one. [00:31:50] Speaker A: I mean, you don't have a penis but like I, I do and it's like, yeah, I mean like, do I do it? You know, like. But like. Babe, would you put your penis in like a glory hole? Absolutely. [00:32:13] Speaker B: The. Not. Not with a. Yeah, absolutely not. Maybe with a condom, but absolutely not. [00:32:22] Speaker A: I, I mean like back when I was younger and like much hornier, for sure. [00:32:29] Speaker C: I'm like, he probably would have done it. [00:32:31] Speaker A: I was looking for glory holes. Anything. I would kick in all the bathroom stall doors just to look for glory holes. Glory holes. Are you here? I'm looking for the glory holes and I couldn't find a fucking one. I was so upset. I wanted glory holes and they just never appeared. And, and like I, I feel like it's just, you know, like a myth but like it doesn't actually exist unless you're in like a sex dungeon or like a, you know, like a porn store. And then, like, you know, the people at the porn store, like, never get their dick sucked because there's, you know, nobody on the other side. And the people, you know, the sex dungeon, of course, are gonna get. They could have gotten their dick sucked outside the glory hole. You know, they already know what they're there for. But, like, babe, have you ever heard of any, like, glory holes? No. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's about that. [00:33:53] Speaker B: It has to be, like a word of mouth type thing. [00:33:57] Speaker A: A word of mouth. [00:33:59] Speaker B: A word of mouth. [00:34:03] Speaker A: They're in the glory. Hey, tell her friends, you know, there's a glory hole here. I'm like, I'm not telling any of my friends there's a glory hole here. Like. Like, I. I never would tell. Like, even my best friend in the whole world, I would never tell him, oh, dude, there's a glory hole in the, you know, Benihanas. [00:34:25] Speaker C: You really wouldn't, like, wouldn't you, like, post it anonymously on the Internet or something like that? [00:34:31] Speaker B: Never. [00:34:33] Speaker A: It would be my. It would be my little secret. [00:34:38] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:34:39] Speaker B: Oh, you just don't want to share. [00:34:42] Speaker C: Yeah, he just doesn't want to share. Well, like, he doesn't want to get exposed to more people. [00:34:53] Speaker A: I don't want there to be a line like, if I found a good glory hole, and I'm like, you know, just like the. It's gambling with your dick. It's a. That's 100 what it is. Because, you know, in, like, the back of your head, you know, you're gonna be horny. Like, I'm gonna get my dick sucked. Hell, yeah. But in the back of your head, there's, like, there might be a little guillotine back there that, like, the second I stick my full penis through, a guillotine comes and chops my d. And that's what I'm worried about. That's it. Little guillotine. Yeah. I'm like, no, I've already been circumcised. Like, if you haven't been circumcised, it's like, great. And I'm sure, like, there's like, some people out there, like, a bunch of, like, genital warts that, like, stops the guillotine blade because they're, like, just, like, all crusty and just comes down to, like, like, guillotine hitting rock. It's like, yep, don't matter to me. You can't hurt me. And, like, if you're on the other side of, like, the glory hole, like, the. The. The sucking part of a glory hole and, like, a disgusting penis comes through. Like, how would you tell them, thanks, but no thanks? [00:36:26] Speaker B: I just wouldn't put their dick in my mouth. I'd leave them hanging. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Just like, slam the door on your way out. Just like, nah, dude. Yeah, like, gross. Ewey. [00:36:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I. I've never, like, had. Yeah, it's just too weird for me. [00:36:59] Speaker B: No, it is weird. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:02] Speaker B: I do agree with you on that. It is weird. To each their own, but it's dangerous. [00:37:13] Speaker A: I mean, like, if you were never, like, with me, like, would you ever go do a glory hole just to be, like, adventurous? [00:37:21] Speaker B: I'd want to go with a group. [00:37:25] Speaker A: You know, Like a group of girls. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Like, I wouldn't want to be the only one on the inside, on the other side. [00:37:29] Speaker A: So you just like a group of four girls? [00:37:31] Speaker B: Yeah, kind of. Like. Like, we're just like, you know, just like, we got, like, champagne and stuff, and we're all just, like, taking turns on whatever poor dick comes through. And if we don't like it, we don't tuck it. [00:37:41] Speaker A: Damn. Like, just like, imagine, like, a. A box. Like a big box, and, like, a bunch of dudes can come stick their dicks through. And, like, you know, one dude after another is like, oh, hell yeah. It's my turn. Hell yeah, bro. And like, this just one dweebish dude, you know, has this dick, and he's like, yeah, I'm. I can't wait for it to be my turn. And just like, he's like, when is it gonna be my turn? Who wants to get some of the. And just, you know, he, like, loses confidence that, like, any girl's gonna come suck his dick. And then he, like, starts to get soft and, like, he hears, like, the girls laughing from inside the box. Yep. [00:38:24] Speaker B: Straight up. [00:38:26] Speaker A: And then, like, one of the girls comes and, like, you know, kind of, like, like, brushes his cockpit and just regain some confidence. Like, yeah, it's it. And then just does nothing. He's just standing there like a lunatic with his dick in the wall. [00:38:40] Speaker B: But it's like the worst form of rejection. [00:38:43] Speaker A: It's like, damn. It's like dick ghosted. [00:38:51] Speaker B: So, yeah, I wouldn't want to do it alone. [00:38:57] Speaker A: I'm sure that, you know, there's like, just orgy places that exist. [00:39:01] Speaker B: Orgy places. [00:39:06] Speaker C: Like, there's, like, there is orgy places. Someone. Someone told me about him. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Someone told you about him? [00:39:17] Speaker C: Yeah. No, she was really into the swinger scene. [00:39:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:23] Speaker C: I mean, there is. They're there. [00:39:25] Speaker A: Of course they're there. Yeah, I'm sure there's, you know, like, dungeons for every type of fetish. You know, like, like there's dungeons for, like, people, like, getting whipped. There's dungeons for people that like being in glory holes. There's probably even dungeons for, like, oh. [00:39:44] Speaker C: Are you doing your thing? [00:39:51] Speaker A: It's like, even dungeons for, like, you know, people, like, getting pissed on. They can call it, like, you're in trouble. [00:39:58] Speaker C: Yeah, my, my sister didn't know what golden shower meant when she first started her job. [00:40:06] Speaker B: Wait, seriously? [00:40:07] Speaker C: And then someone. Yeah, and then someone explained it to her and she was like, nope, she knocked out. [00:40:15] Speaker A: I mean, it all depends on, like, how much money you're gonna be paying me. [00:40:21] Speaker B: He's pretty much sterile, so it's not that bad. [00:40:28] Speaker A: I mean, it, like, if you paid me enough money, I, I would do damn near anything. It's like, oh, you want to just pee on my chest and on my face? Okay, how much are you gonna pay me? You know, and like, the older I get, like, that number goes down, which is like a sad state of things. Like, as like a dude. I'm like, it's like a million dollars for me to suck a dick. A million dollars. And Now I'm like 34 and I'm like, dude, you know, give me like $2,000. Yeah, like, my value has gone down and I'm now a shameless whore. Like, give me like 2000 until your mic is muted. I don't know if you still know that. [00:41:15] Speaker C: Oh, thanks. Sorry, I didn't realize. I thought I had unmuted it. [00:41:21] Speaker A: It's like, you know, like that, that value is like, okay, yeah, I'll do this for this much. This for this much. Like how, like what, what is your prices, babe? [00:41:38] Speaker B: For what? [00:41:39] Speaker A: For like, like if you were like, hit on. Yeah, to get peed on. [00:41:43] Speaker B: I don't give a. I get pissed on by cats all the time. I don't give a. About piss. Like, oh, I don't give a. I. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Think it would depend. [00:41:57] Speaker B: There's nothing worse than unnewnered male cat pee. That is the most fucking God awful smell on the entire fucking planet. I don't give a fucking shit about human piss. [00:42:07] Speaker A: There's sometimes where I'll go to a hotel room and I'll feel bad for the toilet. I'm like, oh, dude, that's awful. What is coming out of my piss hole? Oh, like, it stinks. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Your pee stinks? [00:42:23] Speaker A: Sometimes. Yeah. [00:42:26] Speaker C: It shouldn't stink. [00:42:27] Speaker B: EP shouldn't stink. [00:42:29] Speaker A: Sometimes it does. [00:42:31] Speaker C: Well, actually, sometimes it, it should. [00:42:35] Speaker B: Some stuff makes Your pee smell like sweet hay? [00:42:40] Speaker A: No, it smells like asparagus. [00:42:42] Speaker B: Okay. If your pever smells sweet, that means there's a bunch of sugar in your pee and you might be tipping over to being diabetic. [00:42:49] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I get tested for piss in my. Or sugar in my piss. I was about to say piss in my piss. I'm like, there's piss in your piss. Oh my God, sir, you're gonna die. There's piss on your piss. [00:43:04] Speaker C: Holy. [00:43:08] Speaker A: But yes, no, like it's never like sweet smelling. It's never like, oh, that, that was pleasant. Is it like. [00:43:17] Speaker B: Oh yeah, nice smell. But once you smell it once, you know, never forget it. Although I can also smell ickjerk pee as well. [00:43:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just like, ugh. Yeah, stop that. [00:43:31] Speaker B: See, I, I would do it for pennies on the dollar. I wouldn't give a why. Cuz it's piss. [00:43:40] Speaker A: But like, you know, like poo. I'm like, absolutely. No, like you have to like that's still like the million dollar one. Like if you don't poo on me. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's much higher tier. [00:43:58] Speaker A: See what Courtney just sent? She, she sends stuff like, oh, is this people's houses floating away? [00:44:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:09] Speaker A: Yeah. How awesome is this? You get an upgrade. You get a houseboat now. [00:44:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it doesn't stay floating for long. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Just you know, put some pontoons in that. Like if you have a trailer like where your axles are just like, you know, put some like pontoons and some stuff. That way if it was to, you know, start floating, you now have a badass houseboat. And you know, when it lands, you can put, you know, wheels back on there and just, you know, tow it back, no harm. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Like an inverse pool you can put around your house to prevent it from getting damaged by floods called sandbags. But yeah. [00:44:56] Speaker A: It'S like people that live in like hurricane zones, you know, getting hit by a hurricane, it's like, yeah. What the you think was going to happen? [00:45:05] Speaker B: At least be prepared. [00:45:08] Speaker A: It, it, it's like people like living in Colorado and like what, it snowed? Who would have thought, you know, like, like the ice storm that happened a few years ago, like where it like snowed and like, you know, 20 cars got into like, you know. [00:45:27] Speaker B: Oh yeah, bomb cyclone. Fuck that. That was really annoying. Okay. I can't believe the cop got mad at me for making snow angels. I've been stuck in my car first eight plus hours. I wanted to fucking stretch my legs and I might as well had fun about it. [00:45:44] Speaker A: Oh no, this was in Texas. [00:45:47] Speaker B: You're talking about the one here in Colorado? [00:45:49] Speaker A: Yeah. No, there's one in Texas. [00:45:51] Speaker B: I don't give a shit about Texas. [00:45:52] Speaker A: This is where this happened. The fucking, you know, flooding where like it all, you know, they didn't have anything to deal with the snow, they didn't have any salt, you know, they didn't have any plows. They're like, fuck. But you know, global warming, you know, don't worry about it, people, it's fine. Get away from the coast. If you stay on like the fucking east coast, yeah, you're gonna get hit with a hurricane every now and again. You stay in Florida, you're gonna get hit with hurricanes. Guess what? FEMA work will come through or your insurance will come through that they force us all to pay for. [00:46:32] Speaker B: If you've signed up for the right insurance. [00:46:36] Speaker A: You have to pay for the right insurance. I pay for all the right insurance. I, I pay for so much goddamn insurance on this place, it's not even funny. It's funny sucks. [00:46:49] Speaker B: No, insurance is scam. [00:46:52] Speaker A: It's whatever. [00:46:56] Speaker C: But honestly, people should probably just be making payments into their own account so that they can get the savings and off of it. [00:47:05] Speaker A: Like, I, I feel like it should go into like an escrow account. Like if you want to do something like that, it should have to go into like an escrow account. [00:47:16] Speaker C: Oh wait, you can actually do that with car insurance? [00:47:22] Speaker A: If you have enough money. Yes. Yeah, neither of us have enough money. You know, have our own, you know, self funded, you know, insurance pretty much, you know, what it is, is you have your state's, you know, minimums for everything. And you know, if you, you know, have that amount, you know, for the minimum, then you can throw that into an escrow account where it just stays. And you cannot touch that money until you cancel that entire plan or someone, you know, needs it. So it just sits in that account, you know, accruing interest and whatnot. And then yes, you are covered for your, you know, car insurance. But you know, the more expensive of a vehicle you have, you know, obviously it's going to be more, you're gonna get over on your car. So yes, if you're uber rich, you can do some stuff, stuff like that. We do not have, you know, like, let me see what like the mandatory minimums are in California. What are the minimum insurance requirements on cars in California? So yeah, in California the minimum car Insurance requirements are 15,000 for injury or death to one person, 30,000 for injury or death to more than one person, 5,000 in property damage. These are the minute minimums for reliability. So yeah, you probably gonna need to have like $50,000. Honestly, probably like a hundred thousand dollars. And you know you can self insure. Do not take my word for that. I have no idea. I just know that certain companies that I've worked for have been self insured. That way they don't have to continuously pay an insurance bill. Like it's only like great for like you know, if you have like a bunch of vehicles and you know it would cost like a million dollars a year to insure them all. It's like buying a house for versus paying insurance or paying for rent. But let's get on to Am I the asshole? Would I be the asshole for remarrying my ex even though I'm going to die by throwaway I know this. This post is morbid and dark, so I apologize for that. I, 36, female, am close to dying. I have terminal cancer and I only have a year or two left. I've accepted and made my peace with it. I don't mind openly talking about it. I have a less than common relationship. My current partner slash boyfriend, 38 male, is also my ex husband. That's wild. Me and him married right out of high school. Wilder stayed together through college and has three kids together. 12 male, 11 female and 4 male. We divorced when our daughter was 3 because the his intense work schedule. There's a lot of heartbreak and pain, but I felt right at the time for both of us. Despite that. Two years after the divorce is when I was first diagnosed with cancer. He reduced his work hours so he can have more time with the kids and it slowly shifted to him taking also care of me. We rekindled our romance, but we didn't get remarried. I got lucky the first time I around and was declared cancer free at 31. I had my youngest child at 32 and I was re diagnosed at 34. Fuck. We had treatments but it was declared terminal. Please don't feel sorry for me. You're throwing me a pity party. I've got to live the life I've wanted and I'm okay with the fact that I'll most likely die before 40. The only thing that caused me any emotional pain is that I won't get to see my kids grow up and experience life's milestones like graduating, getting married and having kids. Long backstory. But here's the problem. My partner and I have discussed that we want to remarry each other and I wanted him to be listed as My husband in the obituary. I want him to have the medical decisions when I'm unable. This one is big for me because of the situation. So that he can get survivor benefits when I pass. Yeah, that's kind of cool. It's not that much money. My sister, 38, female, says it's cruel to remarrying him, knowing I'm gonna die soon anyway. That if I loved him, I wouldn't have divorced him in the first place. And that by remarrying him, I'm disrespecting the sanctity of marriage and doing it willy nilly. She also said I'd probably use my diagnosis first time around to get his pity love so that he'd get back with me since it resolved the main issue of our divorce. I'm so. Read it. I was wondering if it is bad for me to remarry my ex. I love this man. And we both regretted our divorce and are so grateful that life brought us back together. But now that I'm close to death, I want our love to be legally recognized. Opie, now he's feeling sorry for you. He is throwing you his own little pity party and looking at all the regret because he knows that you're gonna die. I don't know if you've told him about the second diagnosis, but chances are no. And if you do not tell him the second diagnosis, that you have terminal cancer and then get remarried and then die, that's fucked up. [00:53:49] Speaker B: Then he gets more money. Now he's gonna have to support the kids. I mean, he's already doing that, but, like. Like she said, he'll get like, survivor benefits and that kind of stuff. [00:53:59] Speaker A: The kids would get the survivor benefits. [00:54:01] Speaker B: Okay, well, the point is, it's easier. Everything lately, if she dies while married, it solves a lot of has. [00:54:15] Speaker A: I. I gotta see what the comments say on this. [00:54:17] Speaker B: I think OP Is fine. I have nothing here. I have absolutely no I. No. [00:54:22] Speaker A: If your ex is all in. What is his business is all in. What it. What business is for your sister to get involved? [00:54:33] Speaker B: Yeah, OP s weird. [00:54:35] Speaker A: I'm not the. He's fully aware. And what he's agreeing to you if he remarries you, not your sister's business. I mean, like, if you go to, like, a courthouse and just be like, hey, yeah, we're married. You know, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Then, yeah, but it. Yeah, it's good. You can just will a bunch of. To them too. You can just put them in the. [00:55:04] Speaker B: Wheel as her husband on her obituary. [00:55:08] Speaker A: And stuff like she doesn't want to die. She, she's, you know, having regrets. She's, you know, of course she is. She's dying and you get to have your regrets when you're dying. That, that sucks. But it's like at the same time, you know, you did get divorced. [00:55:26] Speaker B: Yeah. And it sounds like there was a big lack of communication on both sides, but OP said since situation's been resolved, things are going back to how they once were. And I also feel like it's more stable for the kids as well. [00:55:44] Speaker A: I mean, do what you want, op. You're gonna die anyway. Don't let the world fucking tell you anything to do, you know, have your dying wish. I need it too. Next. Am I the. Am I the HR5SW? Am I the asshole for getting a new nurse fired? For accusing me of having an affair with my father? Hey Reddit. I'm a hospital social worker at a small hospital. My dad is one of the ER day shift charge nurses. A few weeks ago I was in the ER trying to figure out placement for an elderly patient when I went to have a chat with my dad in the hallway. Before I left, I gave him a hug and I told him not to be late for dinner, joking how I was going to make the most expensive steak on the menu since it's my turn to pay. I, 27, female and my dad is 51 male. There was a new nurse at the nurses station nearby. Pretty much everyone knows that he's my dad. I haven't spoken with this new nurse much though, so she didn't know. Apparently my dad and I were having affair based on what she heard. Saw she knew that my dad's married to my mom who brings me lunch sometimes. Brings him lunch sometimes. She immediately began gassing, gossiping about some other stuff. That my dad's having an affair with one of the hospital social workers, AKA me. One older nurse I've known for a long time immediately came to tell me. I don't think she liked this new nurse very much. I guess no one decided to tell her that he's my dad. I hate gossipers. I don't know what it is about nurses, but I swear to God some of them really love to spread rumors. I would not. I decided not to take it up with her and went straight to hr. We were both asked to come to HR after our shift was over, along with my dad. Now the HR lady knows that he's my father. When the new nurse came in, she was asked to explain. She said that she thinks it's Terrible. And so blatantly having an affair. She was shocked because the thought that my dad was such a nice guy. My dad decided to speak up and explain that I'm his child. The new nurse was mortified and apologized profusely. The HR lady asked my dad to leave and had a meeting with the unit manager and was decided that the new nurse would be fired immediately because it was in her 90 day probationary period, you know, and blah blah, blah, blah blah. My mom thinks I'm a jerk. I think I was right to get her fired. Cuz the hospital doesn't need a new bunch of nurses sitting on their asses gossiping instead of doing their job. My dad is embarrassed and feels awkward about the whole thing. So am I the for getting this new nurse fired? [00:58:54] Speaker B: No. OP did everything right. [00:58:57] Speaker C: Nope, that's what you're supposed to do. [00:58:59] Speaker B: To me, it almost kind of sounds like the new nurse like, like doubled down when she was talking with just the HR person. Cuz there was something else besides this. To just have her fired immediately. Like this might have been like a straw that broke the camel's back or whatnot. Like I don't. OP is not directly responsible for the nurse getting fired. I kind of feel like it was kind of building up to this. Cuz when you fire someone within their 90 day period. Period, that says something. [00:59:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:59:30] Speaker C: Because don't you get. I wonder. Yeah. And quite honestly, like if she just asked who they were, she would have known. [00:59:38] Speaker B: Yeah. No, she decided to immediately start spreading rumors like that shit's not good for the job. [00:59:47] Speaker C: No. It creates drama. [00:59:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:53] Speaker C: Oh my gosh, guys, sorry. I got this pen. [00:59:58] Speaker A: Oh, one of those pens. [01:00:00] Speaker C: Yeah. Alex had one as a when she was a teenager and she used it for something. Yeah, Yeah. I like sat on it on your bed after you used it and it. [01:00:14] Speaker B: Was all like so sorry, Courtney. [01:00:17] Speaker C: Sorry. [01:00:18] Speaker B: No, I'm sorry. [01:00:22] Speaker C: I just found it funny. Don't worry, we all do weird. [01:00:29] Speaker B: Precisely. We are teenagers. [01:00:38] Speaker A: And then here's a relationship advice. I want to break out with my magician boyfriend. Do it. He's a magician. He's a dork. You know, End of story. You know, you're 24 year old female and your boyfriend. Magician's 27. He has an inappropriate magic trick. But if you want to know what the magic trick. Last month we were getting steamy when he went down on me, which isn't unusual. We were going down and he was having some dirty talk down there. I was lost in the moment for obvious reasons, but I snapped out of it when he said, oh, how did that get in there? And I watched him pull a coin from my crotch. He found the coin moment hilarious, but took me out of the moment instantly and made me annoyed that we stopped. I let her later told him that the magic in the bedroom made me literally dry up, so I asked him to keep that kind of magic out of the bedroom. He explained he was trying to make me laugh and have fun. He didn't apologize for it and I talked with some friends about it and they thought it was funny. So yeah, go ahead and break up with him. You know, he pulled the coin out of your yeah. [01:01:59] Speaker C: Yep. [01:02:03] Speaker B: I was hoping to be all done with the fireworks. [01:02:05] Speaker A: People should be done with their fireworks by now. [01:02:08] Speaker B: Petting their dinner. [01:02:10] Speaker A: I mean, it shouldn't be too crazy. [01:02:12] Speaker B: It shouldn't be too crazy. [01:02:13] Speaker A: Like last night, it was wild. [01:02:16] Speaker B: Oh, it was beautiful. But it was absolutely so traumatizing for Goose. [01:02:21] Speaker A: And yeah, I mean, fireworks are illegal in Colorado Springs, so. So. But yeah, we're gonna go ahead and end it there. Thank you all so much for showing up if you did and you followed all the way through. You know, probably name this episode Glory Holes or something like that. But yeah, thank you all and we'll see you all next week. By.