The Lock Works Well

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Human podcast. This week we are actually in a hotel room, so the quality might be weird or off. I have no idea. Hopefully it's not better. Like, that's like, my only goal is it's not better. But yeah, we are on vacation and, you know, I've, you know, mangle together a bunch of to make things work. Hopefully we'll see what happens. But I am your host, Alex the truck. And then we got my wife over here, not the truck. And, you know, a little bit down south because we are also in California, same time as Courtney. She is, you know, Courtney from down south. [00:00:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm here in Emmett. [00:00:50] Speaker A: And yeah. So let's talk a little bit, I guess, about the whole, you know, vacation thus far. We just got out of dinner with my mom, who has been telling me that she listens to this podcast, that she, she didn't say she likes it. You know, she's like a masochist. I feel like, you know, listening to this podcast is like, getting like, you know, hit over and over and over again. Just like, I don't like this, but it's making me moist. [00:01:23] Speaker C: Well, your mom did say I was her favorite part of the podcast, so. [00:01:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, obviously she's like, oh, he hasn't killed her. You know, my son is a good man. [00:01:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God, she actually listens. [00:01:39] Speaker A: I, I don't know why. Like, it baffles me that, like, I, like, there's certain podcasts, there's too many podcasts for, you know, someone to pay attention to all of them. But, you know, I'm sure, you know, people, like, tune in every now and again, like, oh, yeah, another bad one. Yeah, it's fine, you know, I just keep on doing it and, you know, eventually I'll die, you know, and that, that's the goal, really. You know, you keep on doing something that, you know, makes you, like, very little to no money, and then one day you die and you're like, oh, thank God. What are you playing with my Allen keys over there? Go ahead and stand with them. That's fine. [00:02:25] Speaker C: Okay. Yay. [00:02:28] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, guys, I feel so good. [00:02:30] Speaker A: Did you get, like, a massage or something? [00:02:34] Speaker B: Give me. [00:02:40] Speaker A: But yeah, so I, I, I, I was able to sit down with my mother and, like, I, I feel like I've given up on, like, trying to, like, shock that woman. I feel like I've given up on trying to upset her because there's nothing I can do in this world except get a face Tattoo to, like, upset her. Like, I'm not gonna get a face tattoo. [00:03:07] Speaker B: You're hilarious. No, you never do that. [00:03:10] Speaker A: I want to get anything tattoo. I want to get, like, an upper arm tattoo. I'm too much of a big. To do anything like that. I'm too much of a big, giant vagina back. Well, it might hurt me, you know, what if I don't like it? What if I don't, like, squirtle, you know, 10 years from now? What if people laugh at me? I mean, like, my. My first idea for a tattoo was tribal tattoos that, like, went up my arm and, you know, like, the back of my neck, and, like, you know. [00:03:41] Speaker C: I'm like, I'd be here for it. [00:03:44] Speaker A: You would be here for it? [00:03:46] Speaker C: 100%. [00:03:47] Speaker A: I would get this. I would get so much for it. Everyone would make fun of me. Like, dude, really? Tribal tattoos? Are you gay? [00:03:59] Speaker C: Be loud and proud. [00:04:01] Speaker B: I mean, I just love that video of that one woman that I forget where it is, but she's got tribal tattoos on her face, and she's like a news anchor. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. No. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Oh, in Hawaii. She's in Hawaii. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:18] Speaker B: And then there's an. Another one. Yeah. And then there was a. I don't think she had tattoos, but she started chanting or singing in the maury language, which is supposed to be, like, the official language and shit, and, like, it was a protest against, like, how they're trying to erase the people there and do shady. [00:04:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, I feel like it's appropriate, like, you know, and for me, I. I guess I'm, like, Filipino enough to, you know, like. Like, I'm a Mexican Asian, you know, the scariest of the Asians, you know, where people look at me like, what are you? You know, do I deport you or do I ask for shrimp fried rice? Like, I never know. It's like, I. I could get tribal tattoos and it'd be appropriate, but I feel like if I do it, I have to, like, go to, like, the Philippines and have someone, like, sit there with, like, you know, bamboo shoot and, like, ink and just, like, do it, like. And, like, I'd, like, suffer through it. [00:05:29] Speaker B: You would never be able to do that. [00:05:30] Speaker A: No, of course not. And so I don't. I. I just. I sit the down. I'm like, okay, I guess I'm not doing that. And boom. You know, now here I am just being a boring ass dude. Yeah, there's, you know, there's something to be said about being boring. [00:05:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Or if I, like, you know, get to, like, the, you know, second half of my life I can make. Okay, now I want to go hardcore. [00:06:02] Speaker B: Aren't you, like, probably in the second part? [00:06:05] Speaker A: I'm on the last part of my life. Like, there's no way, like, you know, my parents and, like, you know, my. My grandparents are like, oh, you know, we're on the last, you know, leg. I'm like, I'm probably gonna die in five years. Like, let's be honest. [00:06:20] Speaker B: I don't think so. You're not showing signs of really bad health yet. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's the truck driving that's gonna kill me. Like, there's gonna be some dumb fucking idiot that, like, cuts me off and, like, I go off a mountain and then. [00:06:34] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:06:34] Speaker A: You know, like, they don't even go looking for me until, like, the springtime. And, you know, I'm out there surviving in the wilderness, you know, befriending a wolf. And then, you know, I get, like, rickets or something because I don't have enough, like, oranges. And then I die. [00:06:51] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:06:53] Speaker A: From, like, rickets or something weird. It's like, oh, dude, he survived something weird. Yeah. [00:07:02] Speaker C: Like, everyone, I thought Rick is where you didn't get enough sunlight and it's scurvy, where you don't get enough acid. [00:07:08] Speaker A: I think rickets is, like, where your, like, bones, like, start, like, deteriorating because you don't have, like, enough calcium or something. [00:07:15] Speaker B: Hey, Amazon, what's rickets? [00:07:24] Speaker C: Usually because of an extreme and prolonged vitamin D deficiency. [00:07:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:27] Speaker C: Vitamin D problems also can cause rickets. Vitamin D helps the body absorb calcium and phosphorus from food. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Yep. [00:07:35] Speaker C: Not enough vitamin D makes it difficult to maintain proper calcium. [00:07:38] Speaker B: Oh, okay. So technically it's both. Technically, it's both. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Your bones break super easy. Like, I don't know what osteoporosis is. I feel like it's where you just shake a bunch. I don't know, maybe something to do with bones. And I. I should know these. I should, like, know, like, the top 10, like, you know, diseases that people get. Like, you know, but process is more. [00:08:07] Speaker C: Of a thing for women than it is for men. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Well, like, yeah, I have all my medical knowledge from the show house, which. [00:08:14] Speaker C: Is an excellent source of information, and it is not at all made up or they've even act and they've never actually made up words that don't even exist. Really? Yeah. I can't watch. I can't watch medical shows. The second something is, like, wrong or made up, I'm like, I can't. I'm Out. I just can't. [00:08:38] Speaker A: I mean, I. I love it. I love it all. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Well, quite honestly, I feel like it's, like, kind of misleading because, like, people might see something on there and then run with it. And, like, of course, they always try to do that. Like, put stuff in there that's, like, accurate, but then, like, the rep. Some of it isn't. So, like, it also perpetuates, like, the distress of, like, medical. [00:09:11] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, like, there's like, one episode where, like, they, like, I'm pretty sure made up a disease called sipa. Like, certified, like, insensitivity to pain or something. [00:09:24] Speaker C: Like, that's not made up. [00:09:27] Speaker A: That's a real, real thing. Yeah, there's people that just don't feel pain. They're just like, ha, ha, Invincibles. [00:09:35] Speaker C: Okay. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Quite honestly, sometimes they don't even realize it, but they do tend to die earlier. [00:09:43] Speaker C: Yeah. Because they don't know when they're in pain. So, like. Okay, so a lot of people with sipa, especially a lot of children, they go blind because they. So when you rub your eye. If you rub your eye too hard, it hurts. Right. And so you don't rub your eye if you don't feel pain. Those kids, they dig at their eyes until they're basically destroyed. And so a lot of times they are blind. Like, you'll see them where they have, like, goggles, like, suckered onto their face to try to prevent them from doing more damage to their eyes. Like, if they're eating and they bite their tongue, they don't know that they've bitten their tongue and they're going to keep on. On eating. If they run and hurt and, like, sprain their ankle or something, they don't know they're going to keep on running. Like, if you can't feel pain, you don't know when you're injured. [00:10:31] Speaker B: And, like, think about it like this. They also don't feel pain from the muscles. Uh, like. And so they might even overdo it. Or, like, some of them break. They break their bones really easily. [00:10:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:10:46] Speaker C: Like, not feeling like. [00:10:48] Speaker A: So why are they rubbing their eyes if they don't feel pain? If they're not, like, irritated or nothing? [00:10:53] Speaker C: Because they're kids, they're digging at their face. You. You see, you always see babies, like, sticking their fingers, like, in their nose, in their mouth, that kind of stuff. Like, they're just digging at their eyes because they're babies and they don't know any better. So they don't have any pain signals to Tell them. Telling them to stop doing that. [00:11:07] Speaker A: But can they, like, feel stuff? Like, can they, like, feel when people touch them? [00:11:11] Speaker C: Yeah, but so. But they can't tell if that touch is causing pain. So like, someone could be, like, touching them with, like, a sharp blade and making, like, a bunch of micro cuts in their skin, and they're not going to feel it. [00:11:26] Speaker A: That's very interesting. It's like a superpower. It's like the shittiest superpower. It's like. Like the monkey's paw. It's like, I wish I don't feel pain. It's like, yeah, you don't feel pain, but you're gonna, like, bite your tongue off now. [00:11:40] Speaker C: Yeah, pretty much. [00:11:46] Speaker A: I mean, I. I still love the show, but. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I liked it too. [00:11:55] Speaker A: But, you know, like, let's continue on with, like, the, you know, whole trip. Like, you know, for the first, you know, couple days, we saw, you know, grandparents, you know, because they're more important. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Well, yeah, because they're gonna die sooner. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Get. Way to be morbid about it. It's easy. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Yep. Alex is like that, though. [00:12:17] Speaker A: I mean, you know, her. Her grandma, you know, broke her neck and she's just walking around, like, you know, running. [00:12:23] Speaker C: Well, yeah, this is four months down the road. [00:12:28] Speaker A: I mean, still. It's like, you know, I'd milk that thing for like a year. I'm like, I broke my neck. You know, I'd be out of my cone of shame. I'm like, I broke my neck. [00:12:40] Speaker C: Well, she was supposed to get the cone of shame off last week, but they went to. But. So, okay, so she was going to go in for an MRI to see if they can take the neck brace off. So they were going, they're getting off. They were getting everything set up. And then the. The technician went to go give my grandma the dye for the mri, and my grandma's like, are you a nurse? He's like, oh, no, I've been doing this. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But after that, he left the room. And so a nurse came in to give her the dye. To give her the dye. And the nurse, like, looked at her blood work. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Her kidneys can't handle this is. If we give it to her, it can put her into kidney failure. So, a, thank God an actual nurse came in and saved that from happening. But B, the. They're also worried she might have. There might be a tear in one of her art. In one of her arteries. Yeah, there might be a tear in one of the brains in One of the veins going from her brain down to her heart. And so if they take it off and release pressure off of that, she throw a clot. So they're waiting a couple more weeks and then they're going to do a different type of MRI without the dye that won't shut down her kidneys. [00:13:51] Speaker A: Well, I'm sure glad that the doctors did not give her the dye and kill her. [00:13:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Yep. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:13:59] Speaker A: Yeah, like that. That's what they do in jails. Oh my God. You're on death row. Here's a die. [00:14:06] Speaker C: I hate you so much. [00:14:11] Speaker B: Oh, it still smells kind of funky. This one does. Have you ever seen that Tocobo that's on, on Facebook now? It's like a sunscreen. It's called Tocobo and it's like, it's a stupid name, but they're. It's a sale. It's a Korean like sunscreen and like that Chocobo. Tocobo. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Togo. [00:14:42] Speaker B: Freaking. [00:14:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker B: T O C O B O. So togo co bow. [00:14:50] Speaker A: Okay. I thought you were saying Chocobo from like Final Fantasy. [00:14:53] Speaker C: I'm like, I was wondering what that was from. You said that it sounded familiar, but I honestly you said and I thought it was a Pokemon, so I'm not a nerd. [00:15:03] Speaker B: So you know how like sometimes they like leave like a weird like layering this one, doesn't it? There's a layer. You can definitely feel a layer, but it's not like annoying. It like just feels really nice on your skin. Actually it made my sins softer. Like though the they have a watery one too for your body. But like the one for their face looks really cool. And I got some lip gloss and lip oil from them. [00:15:42] Speaker C: Nice. [00:15:44] Speaker B: I know, right? [00:15:45] Speaker A: I feel like Korean people just like, you know, like make alliteration things just so Americans buy it. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Well, you know what, they have less peach fuzz. So that's why they have more like better like that effect that they have. Like the glass skin where it looks really good. Like Americans have to shave our faces to get that look. [00:16:17] Speaker A: I don't shave. No, I just have a beard. It's fine. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Okay, cool. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Like every once in a while like I'll clean it up, but it's like that's about it. But I'm like native. So I don't have like a full beard. Like I don't have like the Viking beard. [00:16:38] Speaker C: Yeah, it's kind of pathetic. [00:16:41] Speaker A: I want that Viking beard. Like and I had one buddy that has like a big ass beard like you know, down to his belly button type beard. He told me that the secret was prenatal pills. If you're a man and you go in and you take prenatal pills, like, it apparently gives you, like, the formula to grow, like, a big, thick beard. And I feel like you. Yeah, I feel like he was with me. And I'm like, I don't believe you for. But it's like, you know, at the same time, I'm like, if it has enough to grow a baby, it probably has enough to grow a beard. It's like, well, we have nothing else to do with this, so we're just going to turn it into beard. It's like a beard or a baby. B words. [00:17:24] Speaker C: Bearded baby. [00:17:25] Speaker A: I would love a bearded baby. Like, I would be so upset if, like, my baby was born and had a better beard than me. I'm like, kill it. Kill it right now. Is it too late to kill this baby? It's like, like, someone comes, like, a knife to kill it and catches, like, the knife. It's like, oh, yeah. And, like, does, like, ninja moves. I'm like, my son's too dangerous, and he, like, cartwheels out of the. [00:17:58] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:17:59] Speaker A: She's getting more beer. [00:18:03] Speaker B: Oh, I want alcohol. [00:18:06] Speaker A: And, like, what's crazy? [00:18:07] Speaker B: Messes with my stomach too much. That's why I basically turned to weed. [00:18:19] Speaker A: I mean, she. She's been out of weed for, like. She's, like, going, like, cold turkey this week. [00:18:27] Speaker B: Really? What? [00:18:29] Speaker C: No, I was stupid and didn't bring my weed. [00:18:33] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Alex, isn't there a weed dispenser near you guys? [00:18:38] Speaker A: Yeah, but now if we go buy it, she has to eat it all. [00:18:44] Speaker B: She can find one that's, like, lower friend one. [00:18:48] Speaker A: What? [00:18:48] Speaker B: Definitely, like, she can find something that's, like, gonna get her through that's, like, just gonna be less than 20 bucks. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I think they, like, only, like, sell them, like, eight packs, so she's gonna have to, like, eat, like, 100, like, milligrams a day. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Like, no, like, they have stuff that's 100 milligrams per package, and you get 10 milligrams per piece. So you got 10 candies that are 10 milligrams, is what I'm saying. So. Yeah, she can definitely find something that's on the cheaper side that can last. [00:19:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't know. Like, we'll see what happens. But, you know, talking about my wife. [00:19:34] Speaker B: Why don't you try weed maps? [00:19:36] Speaker A: Yeah, we did. You know, there's, like, nothing here in Folsom no, but, you know, maybe we'll look at it and see, like, what they have. Like, they have, like, weed sodas that, like, last like, a day. But speaking of my wife, I, I have to bring this up. You know, she knew it was gonna come, you know, before the vacation. She got out her suitcase, my beautiful suitcase. She, she has, like, you know, pink, whatever suitcases she got from Amy. [00:20:07] Speaker C: The old style luggage with the straps and it's candy pink, and the straps are white and the buckles are rose gold. And I, and everyone gives me compliments. Like, even, like the people. Like, even, like I, like, even, like the stewardess will be like, oh, my God, that's such a cute suitcase. And like, they see suitcases every single day and they're still complimenting mine. Like, it's gorgeous. I love it. [00:20:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I'm not, you know, down in your suitcase. I am downing the fucking Chinese lock. You know, so when, you know, we first, when she first pulled it out, she's like, the code should be this, you know, and she, you know, went through it and, like, was not that code. And she had to break the first lock on the big suitcase because there's a two piece. [00:20:57] Speaker C: There's the big one and then there's the small carry on. [00:21:01] Speaker A: And so, you know, we're like, getting ready to board the plane here to California, and she, like, you know, closes the suitcase and slams the lock closed on the small suitcase and somehow resets the password to something. She has no idea what it is. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:21:29] Speaker A: And just, you know, randomly. And so pretty much for the entire flight from, you know, Vegas to Sacramento, she's just sitting there, you know, desperately trying to get into her little bag. And, you know, we get into the car and into the rental car and we're driving. And eventually she gets it. She guesses the right number and gets it open. But I'm like, to lock yourself out of your own suitcases twice. [00:22:04] Speaker C: Okay. The log was broken on the first one. [00:22:07] Speaker A: And, you know, I, I, I, maybe not. I mean, who knows? But I must say, you know, I wonder if you're gonna do it again. [00:22:17] Speaker C: What do you mean, do you wonder if I'm gonna do it again? [00:22:19] Speaker A: If there's gonna be a, a third. [00:22:23] Speaker C: You know, I only have two suitcases. There's not a third one for me to lock myself out of. [00:22:27] Speaker A: Do it again to your small one. [00:22:29] Speaker C: Why would I do it again to my. [00:22:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:22:34] Speaker A: And that's not where it all ends. So the other night we were at my dad's house, you know, we. The first time seeing his new house and, you know, he's just, you know, relaxing and just, you know, hey, we got food. Cool, cool, cool. And, you know, she goes in, grabs a seltzer cider or whatever the it is. [00:22:57] Speaker C: I would have been fine if it had been a seltzer, but it was a cider. [00:23:00] Speaker A: It was a cider. And so she drinks that and then she gets permission to drink some weird random bottle. [00:23:06] Speaker C: It was a porter. It was delicious. [00:23:09] Speaker A: Like a homemade porter. [00:23:12] Speaker C: It was so good. [00:23:13] Speaker A: And so she drinks that. [00:23:16] Speaker C: And I forgot I had decided beforehand because all I. All I was tasting was, was the porter, so I forgot they drank the cider. [00:23:24] Speaker A: And then she, you know, gets offered a glass of wine, of white wine or something like that. [00:23:31] Speaker C: Chardonnay. [00:23:32] Speaker A: I don't know what that is. [00:23:33] Speaker C: I know you don't. [00:23:35] Speaker A: I know what whiskey is. I know what rum is. I know what tequila is. You know, like that. I don't know what, you know, French is. They lost. They're losers. I don't drink loser. I drink winter whiskey. Rum, hardcore, you know. [00:23:52] Speaker B: You know, they are actually the reasons. [00:23:54] Speaker A: We'Re independent, the French. I mean, thanks. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Yeah. During the Independent, when we fought for independence from Britain or whatever. [00:24:06] Speaker A: I mean, thanks for selling us, you know, the Louisiana Purchase and, you know, thanks for like, the big green lady. Like, that was pretty cool of you guys. Thanks for French fries and, you know, thanks for like a couple, like, you know, cool guns. A couple cool French guns. But that's about it. You know, you, you can take your long cigarettes and go somewhere else, but she's drinking wine now, has a glass, has this second glass, and then she gets like a sippy cup. You know, she doesn't realize that she's had like three glasses of wine. [00:24:46] Speaker C: Yeah, the wine went down real smooth. [00:24:48] Speaker A: And now she is white girl wasted. You know, like, I turned my back for one second and she is just. Yeah, I love you. It's like 10 o' clock at night and there's kids sleeping in the house. You know, I haven't. I told you I love you and I told my brother I'd take him to his house. And I'm like, okay, wait, so if. [00:25:10] Speaker C: We dropped your brother off, how did he get there? [00:25:13] Speaker A: He took my dad's car. Oh, so, you know, he was borrowing my dad's car because his car is in the shop. And so, you know, he, he got up and, you know, went over to the shop, picked up his car and. But then went off and did, you know, Stuff he had to do today. But, you know, I drop him off, and she's like, I love you, daddy. Like, as a brother. Yeah. And just being an obnoxious drunk girl. And I'm like, you know, it's been. [00:25:47] Speaker C: A long time since I got that drunk. [00:25:49] Speaker A: I'm, like, feeding her toast. I'm like, all right, come on. [00:25:53] Speaker C: I thought you gave me in and out. Where did the toast come from? [00:25:55] Speaker A: At my dad's house. He had some, like, you know, some sourdough bread. [00:26:02] Speaker C: Oh, I love sourdough bread. [00:26:04] Speaker A: I know. And I. I got you sourdough bread and, like, some garlic butter and just, you know, made you a quick piece of toast, and it's toaster. I'm like, there you go. Eat that. You know, trying to, like, get, you know, some bread, some food on her stomach. And I take her in and out, and I'm like, all right, let's get this in you. And she's like, I thought you just being, you know, obnoxious. I'm just like, oh, my God. [00:26:27] Speaker C: You chose this. [00:26:29] Speaker A: I did not. [00:26:30] Speaker C: You wanted a white girl. [00:26:31] Speaker A: And then she's like, why don't you ever get drunk around me? I'm like, because it takes too much liquor to get me drunk. And then we get back, and we, like, fall asleep. And I'm like, oh, thank God. Sweet mercies. [00:26:52] Speaker C: Okay, I was a blackout drunk, so I don't know how much of this you have made up. [00:26:57] Speaker A: I haven't made up a word. I. All of this is straight gospel, and I'm just like, oh, Teddy will, like, attest when you see him tomorrow. He will attest to all of this. I'll text him and see if I. If he needs me to come pick him up. [00:27:18] Speaker C: I feel like obnoxious is a strong word. Like, drunk. White are oracles of the gods. [00:27:27] Speaker A: I have seen both you and Courtney drunk. [00:27:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Yeah, you've seen us, you know, wildly drunk. And it's just like, I've been woken up to Courtney, you know, crying, drunk. [00:27:42] Speaker B: Yep. It's because my sister was being a. [00:27:48] Speaker C: Your sister is. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Everyone was happy until she started saying, I was speaking loud when I wasn't, and she was speaking louder than I was. And her boyfriend, like, you could tell. He was like, what the. [00:28:01] Speaker A: I mean, were you at a. [00:28:02] Speaker B: She kept on trying. No, we were at her house. We were back. We drove home. Stupid. And then I had to drive home again. It's been fun. It's been a while, so I don't think they can do anything. [00:28:21] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you know, now they have a bunch of kids or whatever. I think. [00:28:26] Speaker B: She just has one. Thank God. [00:28:30] Speaker A: Oh, like, for some reason, I feel like your sister had, like, three kids and just, like, so. [00:28:36] Speaker B: No, she was with that one guy, so. My older sister has two kids, and they're like. They're grown now. They're out of the house. They're. [00:28:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:46] Speaker B: You're doing their own thing. [00:28:48] Speaker A: Yeah. No, like, you're like. [00:28:49] Speaker B: He hates when I call him that. [00:28:52] Speaker A: He's a grown man now. And, you know, JJ The Jet Plane was on the podcast, like, years ago. Probably, like, four years ago. So, you know, go back and look for that episode. I believe it's called J.J. the jet plane. [00:29:06] Speaker C: That shows creepy. [00:29:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Faces on jets. Just like, you know, and, like, just. [00:29:13] Speaker B: I'm like, you love that show. [00:29:15] Speaker C: I did. [00:29:17] Speaker B: Yeah. We watched it all the time. [00:29:19] Speaker C: Good God. That makes it worse. [00:29:21] Speaker A: It was a creepy show. But, you know, so was Thomas the Tank Engine. [00:29:25] Speaker C: Okay. No, you can't handle Thomas the Tank Engine. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Like, someone made, like, a horror game out of, like, Thomas the Tank Engine. I'm like, that's awful. Like, don't do that. [00:29:35] Speaker C: Thomas the Tank Engine. I even saw the movies. [00:29:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Pokemon had some killer movies and killer merch, too. Like, back in the day, like, you know, the. The first Pokemon movie came with a card called Ancient Mew. And now, like, they're, like, kind of worth, like, a little bit of money. Like, let me see how much I can get an ancient meal for. [00:30:00] Speaker C: Do you have an Ancient Mew? [00:30:01] Speaker A: I used to. [00:30:03] Speaker C: Is that one of the ones you lost? [00:30:05] Speaker A: Is one of the ones I lost. Yes. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Probably. Yeah. [00:30:13] Speaker A: And it's like, oh, damn, whatever. Yeah, I can get it for 13.98. [00:30:20] Speaker C: That is so much money. [00:30:23] Speaker A: Well, considering it was a free card that was given to you with a movie. Yeah. And 50 cent shipping, so, like, 14.50. Realistically. Yeah. It's not tournament legal. It's not anything. Yeah. It's just, like, an old card. And I'm sure, like, I can get it probably for, like, 10 bucks if I, like, find it somewhere or if I get, like, find, like, a broken card. Wow. That's just like, I. I have my holographic Charizard, so that's all that really matters. Like, that. That's, like, my favorite part, you know, is having, you know, like, a card that could be worth money. I'm just never gonna sell it. I'm gonna hold on to it too long to where it's, like, not worth anything. It's like, you have to like, find that one guy and it's like, I'll give you 40 bucks for it. Or it's like the world ends in like nuclear holocaust and it's like, this card used to be worth some money. It's like, yep. No longer. It's like, yeah, you can use that as like kindling, I guess. You can put that in a fire. You can start a fire with that. Oh, what? [00:31:49] Speaker C: Kindle. So kindling is a term you use for rabbits giving birth. And so I didn't think firewood, I thought baby rabbits. [00:32:03] Speaker A: Yeah, the baby rabbit just gives birth into the firebag. I don't want to do like pre cook these babies before I eat them because like, rabbits are like, crazy. Like sometimes you have to like separate the mothers from the babies because they will eat them. [00:32:18] Speaker C: Yeah, they're a good source of protein. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Like if you have a. [00:32:22] Speaker C: And rabbits have two rows of teeth. Okay. Unless you are a fish, there is no reason for you to have more than one row of teeth. Monty Python has proved how absolutely despicable those creatures are. Fuck rabbits. I hate them all. [00:32:39] Speaker A: I like rabbits. I like the giant sharks. [00:32:43] Speaker C: I love. No, I said anything besides fish, okay. Because a shark is a fish. [00:32:50] Speaker A: I like the giant rabbits. [00:32:51] Speaker B: I wonder if other animals have double row teeth. [00:32:58] Speaker A: Yeah, a bunch of them actually. Like sharks. [00:33:01] Speaker C: Sharks are fish. I said besides fish. [00:33:09] Speaker A: Let's see. Animals with double rows of teeth. Jesus Christ. Like, this is awful. Well, many animals have two sets of teeth. Shepherd fish have two or three rows of molars. Crocodiles, they're fish. [00:33:41] Speaker C: No, they're reptiles. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:46] Speaker A: Because they rip apart their prey. The rip tiles. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Yeah, Elephants. [00:33:54] Speaker A: God damn. Like that. That was a solid bit there. [00:33:57] Speaker C: No, it wasn't. [00:33:59] Speaker A: Reptiles. No, because they rip apart their stuff. [00:34:05] Speaker C: They don't rip them apart, they thrash them apart. [00:34:08] Speaker A: It's pretty much ripping. They don't have hands to really rip them apart. [00:34:12] Speaker C: Precisely. So they have to thrash. [00:34:14] Speaker A: Yeah. And what does that do? It rips them apart. [00:34:16] Speaker C: I still think it was subpar for you. [00:34:21] Speaker A: Still, you know, going in as one of my jokes. It's fine. [00:34:25] Speaker C: Sure. [00:34:31] Speaker A: Elephants, kangaroos and mantises. These mammals have multiple sets of teeth that are replaced when they wear down. Kangaroos. Kangaroos are like vicious animals are kangaroos. [00:34:46] Speaker C: Herbivores are the insectivores. [00:34:48] Speaker A: I'm probably both, you know, like, they'll eat whatever. And like one of my favorite videos of a kangaroo. It's like the. The kangaroo that has like the dog by like the neck. He's like choking out the dog and the dude comes up to the kangaroo and just punch punches it in its little snout and it's just like all confused and lets the dog go. He's like, what the just happened? Do you see me? I could kill you. I can eviscerate you with my back claws. And for the longest time I thought kangaroos could like balance on their tail and kick like in cartoons. [00:35:31] Speaker C: Oh, kangaroo. Okay, so kangaroos are herbivores, but they're like cows. Like they regurgitate their food to chew on it. More like they chew cud because their diet is so fibrous. [00:35:45] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:35:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Learning new shit every day. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Yep. My goodness. [00:35:57] Speaker A: Sweet. Maybe like this episode we should like roast. Like my mom's like fiance. [00:36:07] Speaker C: Oh my God, your mom divorced your dad just to go end up with another guy who looks just like your dad. [00:36:18] Speaker A: She's like in the hairy chest. [00:36:19] Speaker B: I have an. Am I the asshole? [00:36:22] Speaker A: Oh, let's hear it. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and read it. [00:36:24] Speaker B: Okay. Am I the asshole for letting my younger sister read my books? For not letting my younger sister read my books? I, 16, female, am an avid reader. When I say avid reader, I mean I read like others watch TV or movies. I've been reading a lot since I was 11 and the Hunger Games got me into books. My 11 female younger sister came to me a few days ago and asked if if there's any books she could read. I gave her the first book and the Hunger Games and she said she didn't want to read it. And if there's any different books. I let her look at my bookshelves, assuming she'd pick something like Percy Jackson or another young adult novel that is appropriate for her. She's almost 12 and she is mature for her age. Instead of grabbing one, she grabbed fourth wing. I just gotten it from one of my friends and since I know the contents in there aren't appropriate for her, I said to her, wait until she's a bit older. She denied and tried to take it. She called my mom into the room and my mom didn't understand that she can't read every book I own. And I didn't want to explain that fourth wing contains some, you know. She called me a jerk and I'm wondering if I am so I'm other. [00:37:41] Speaker A: Well, what is fourth wing? Like, what does it contain? [00:37:43] Speaker B: I'm about to look it up. [00:37:44] Speaker C: Is it smoke? [00:37:45] Speaker B: Quite honestly, this reminds me of when I like reading four books in a series at like my school library and I went and got continued the books at the public library. Oh my God, they Got really bad. Like, really not appropriate. And, like, I. I told her I like, because she knew I really like those books, and I told her, oh, I'm gonna go look at the library. I had to, like, downplay it and, like, say, oh, I just. I just stick to these. If they really want get into them, they can go to the public library. And, like, during a reading circle, I stupidly read one of the later books. Like, that just is starting to get a little racy. And, like, the guy ends up. A guy in the reading circle goes in and, like. Yeah, I read it too. And then, like, basically goes in and. And how inappropriate it gets in the later books. Like, what the. I already low key let her know not to get them. I didn't explicitly say anything because I still wanted to read them. But, like, he went and, like, it was so weird. I don't know why he would do that. Ah. But basically, it's like porn. [00:39:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:22] Speaker B: It has a lot of, like, smut in it. [00:39:27] Speaker C: And. Yeah, I agree. I don't think. I mean. Okay. I think her mom's stupid. [00:39:36] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, her mom. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:40] Speaker B: Well, her daughter hasn't told her. What? Why she can't read it. You remember I. I let Alex. I let Alex's mom borrow a book. [00:39:51] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm so sorry, Alex. [00:39:55] Speaker C: It was okay. [00:39:56] Speaker B: Did she end up going through any of your books and trying to read them or anything? [00:40:01] Speaker C: So I had my books hidden away where, in theory, she couldn't find them. To my dad. To my. To this day, I don't know if she ever found my smut books or not, because I kept them hidden. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:14] Speaker C: And I would, like, move them around. Like, I wouldn't keep them hidden in the same spot for very long. Like. Like a queen with her kittens. I would move them around periodically because I know my mom would go through my room when I wasn't there. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:32] Speaker C: And I'm sure if she found them, there'd be hell to pay. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Mm. [00:40:39] Speaker A: See, like, you know, boys are allowed to have, like, porno mags and psych. And, like, all the boys are like, yeah, I'm just, you know, underneath my mattress, in between the mattress and box spring. No one will ever look there. I was like, rookie move. Like, okay, sock drawer, rookie move. You know, what you have to do is, like, separate yourself from it. You have to, like, you know, go out into the woods, hide it in the woods. Like, get an ammo crate, bury it. [00:41:12] Speaker C: Okay. You know what? Opie's kind of like in a rock and A hard place, because if she had let her little sister read it and then she went and told her mom about the sex scenes, and her mom would have been mad at Opie for letting her sister read the books. So either way, she was going to be in the wrong from everyone from the. From the little sisters, from the mother's point of view. [00:41:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:40] Speaker B: So that's why I'm like. I'm like, no, I couldn't let some kid come into my room and read, look through my books because a majority of them aren't kid friendly. And a lot. Some of them are even like, BL novels. And like, I feel like once you. [00:41:59] Speaker A: Hit 16, you're like, fine. It's like, you know, like. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Yeah, but she's 11. [00:42:04] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, yeah, that's. That's what I'm saying is like, you know, at 11, you know, let, you know, 11 year olds be 11 year olds. You know, like, 16 is like, where I'm like, yeah, I'm, like, interested in this stuff now. And I'm like, yeah, let's, you know. You know, girls no longer have cooties. [00:42:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:42:28] Speaker C: So, like, I have books out in the living room, but those are all non smoke books. All my smut books are in my office. So, like. [00:42:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. [00:42:39] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't think op was in the wrong. [00:42:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, don't, like, you know, like, give your sister, like, you know, 10 books to choose from. Like, you can choose any of these 10 books. It's like, oh, yeah, I like this. You know, give them, you know, the illusion of a choice while you're directing their choice to a small little, you know, it's like, you know, when you go to school, you're like, you can be anything you set your mind to. [00:43:13] Speaker C: Well, how did Opie sister pick the book? Like, did she just go based off the imagery? Did she read the synopsis? Did she like. Well, I mean, what's written on the back? [00:43:21] Speaker A: The COVID of the book looks pretty dope, though. Like, I'm not even gonna lie like that. That's the COVID of the book there. [00:43:27] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that does look cool. [00:43:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:30] Speaker A: And, like, from the COVID of the book, I would not assume that it's like this muddy, you know, slutty, you know, book, whatever. Like, any, like, smut book that you'll ever see, you know, has like, a woman, like, your bras falling off and a big, strong, shirtless guy. It was holding a sword for some reason. [00:43:48] Speaker C: Okay, those are bodice rippers. [00:43:50] Speaker A: Don't Know what that means? [00:43:51] Speaker C: Yeah, it means that type of book. [00:43:55] Speaker A: Like, there's a horse always involved. Like, I'm riding a stallion, and I was. [00:44:01] Speaker B: So there wasn't a horse involved. But, like, in my book, there was shape shifters and, like. Yeah, it got a little weird every time. [00:44:13] Speaker A: It does. [00:44:16] Speaker B: Yeah. It's funny because, like, in the books, they had, like, threesomes and it went into that. It was so weird. [00:44:35] Speaker C: Oh, my God, Courtney, I love that song. [00:44:38] Speaker A: What song? [00:44:39] Speaker B: What song? [00:44:39] Speaker A: Oh. [00:44:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I love it too. [00:44:44] Speaker C: My favorite. [00:44:47] Speaker B: It's. [00:44:48] Speaker C: It's. [00:44:48] Speaker B: It's a song on Spotify. [00:44:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's where songs are. [00:44:53] Speaker B: It's called Smut Slut. [00:44:57] Speaker C: But my favorite line is, is that's when I find out he's got two. I die every time. [00:45:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, pretty much. Like, all the girls I know is like, yeah, I read, you know, smart books. I'm like, yeah. Like, I feel like it's like, you know, an open secret and just like, you know, girls just read smart books and expect this from men. [00:45:26] Speaker C: Okay. There's nothing wrong with women having expectations for good sex. [00:45:33] Speaker A: I mean, you know, like, it's like a episode of Pawn Stars. You're like, I want, you know, a handsome man that gives good sex. It's like, I'll offer you, like, a fat know that, you know, gives, like, good oral and, like, comes, like, in 15 seconds, you know, but in those 15 seconds, you can slam hard. It's like, h. Fine, I guess I'll take it. And then, like, you know, all, like, the, you know, girls, like, ah, I get good sex. It's like, where did you find this guy? It's like he was a nerdy dude that liked magic and dnd that no one else wanted, but he had, like, a half decent dick. And so I'm like, yeah, I'll train him. I'll. I'll train him like a horse. So, like, yeah, do that pretty much, you know. Here's the problem, though. Girls don't want to train, you know, guys. Nothing. They want, you know, out of the box to work, just back, you know, welcome to a relationship, know everything, know, you know, the Hellraiser puzzle between my legs, know how to open it. Day one, please. And dudes will be like, oh, let me. Let me show you how to, like, suck my dick. Because, like, you know, you took some dicks before. You never suck this dick. Let me show you the secrets. And, like, the girl's like, okay, I like that. I like learning new things. It's the same dick oh, yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Yep. You're coming. There you go. High five. We did it. Yeah. Secret little handshake with the balls. Yeah, all the balls. Like, the little secret handshake. It's fine. [00:47:25] Speaker B: Oh, my God. You guys couldn't hear me this whole time. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Are you. Back off. [00:47:32] Speaker C: Wait, what? [00:47:34] Speaker B: For some reason. [00:47:35] Speaker A: Are you, like, fiddling with your phone again? [00:47:37] Speaker C: No, I'm not. I've been stimming with my Allen wrenches. [00:47:42] Speaker A: Put it. Put it back on. [00:47:44] Speaker B: Like, done something, and it muted it so that, like, you guys couldn't hear me. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Yeah, my. My wife is over here. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Just, like, I feel so stupid because I responded and I'm. Why. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Why is he talking over me? [00:48:03] Speaker C: I am. Been very good, and I've just been playing with my Allen wrenches. [00:48:07] Speaker A: You can. You can play with your own wrench. This is fine. [00:48:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I was going to ask. Have you ever thought about doing a. [00:48:14] Speaker A: What the heck is that? [00:48:19] Speaker C: Wait, Courtney, did you open Spotify with me? [00:48:24] Speaker A: Like, quit putting your phone face down because it's, like, touching your phone. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Hello? [00:48:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear us? Can you hear us? Courtney? What the heck is going on now? No. [00:48:41] Speaker B: Hello? [00:48:44] Speaker A: It's on your end, babe. Can you hear us now? [00:48:49] Speaker C: Is it working now? [00:48:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I can hear you. Yeah, I can hear you guys now. What happened? [00:48:57] Speaker C: I think you tried to open Spotify and then it automatically joined us, and then it kicked you off the Bluetooth. [00:49:05] Speaker B: Yeah. That's so weird. Sorry about that. I didn't realize it would do that. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Either way, it's a good song. [00:49:17] Speaker B: I was asking you guys if you would ever do a. A sex video. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Oh, we have already done that. [00:49:24] Speaker C: We have. [00:49:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. They kick her back off again. [00:49:32] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:49:33] Speaker A: No, you're. You're back here. You're good. I can hear you. [00:49:38] Speaker B: I was gonna show you something, but I don't think would. It was weird, but. [00:49:45] Speaker A: Your tablet over there. But yeah, now, like, you know, every, like, married couple has, like, made at least something just bad gifts for me. [00:49:56] Speaker C: Okay. We've been. [00:49:57] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Videos for each other, but I don't know. You've actually made a video together. [00:50:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:05] Speaker A: Have you? Yes, of course we have. [00:50:06] Speaker C: We have. [00:50:09] Speaker B: Alex in her bad memory. [00:50:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:50:15] Speaker A: Yeah. But, like, I want to put, like, anything, like, online. Unless, like, someone's like, hey, we'll give you $10,000. [00:50:21] Speaker C: I'm like, oh, was it at least a good video? [00:50:24] Speaker A: It was pretty solid video. Yeah. [00:50:26] Speaker C: Okay. Yep. [00:50:29] Speaker A: It was back before you had your hysterectomy though. [00:50:33] Speaker B: Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, she's definitely not gonna remember that. [00:50:36] Speaker C: Yeah, Nah, that's way too far back. [00:50:39] Speaker B: Oh my God. I accidentally went on her phone one time and she watches some pretty weird porn too. [00:50:48] Speaker C: Okay. I wasn't getting off on it. I was just like, this is really weird. I want to see where it goes. Like just plain straight up curiosity. I wasn't aroused at all. I just like, this is so weird. I was just interested. [00:51:03] Speaker A: So the. [00:51:04] Speaker B: The guy that had the little bullets. Condom to his dick, you didn't get off to. No, I highly doubt that. Cuz your thing was on the bed. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Ah, getting caught. [00:51:20] Speaker C: Well, I guess I got caught then. Wait, which one? [00:51:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it was so. It was so like. Because after I saw that, I saw the thing, like, oh my God, wait, she forgot to put it away. [00:51:36] Speaker C: I know which one you're talking about. [00:51:41] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. [00:51:42] Speaker C: Yeah, no, so I had. Okay. So I'd watched something else and gotten off to that. And then I was just scrolling through to see what else that I could find. [00:51:51] Speaker A: See, like my favorite, you know, stuff to look for, like, on porn sites, weirdly is parody stuff. Like, it is really golden. Yeah, like, look for parodies, like, on porn sites. Because some of it is like, you know, weird, like low budget. And then others is just like comedy stuff like, you know, worker nails the boss's wife. And like the, you know, the bosses. You know, the boss, like, leaves. He's like, hey, I need to go get some stuff. And the boss's wife comes out, you know, all like, sexy and be like, I'm gonna fuck this guy. And he like, you know, has like a nail gun in his hand. She like, goes down, you know, like, go suck his dick. And like, he like, you know, squeezes the trigger on the nail gun and shoots her in the head and kills her. [00:52:36] Speaker C: So you're getting off to that. [00:52:38] Speaker A: I'm not getting off that there's no, like, nudity in it at all. But it's. It's funny. I'm like, oh. Because it's a misdirection. It's like, you know, how are they gonna, you know, Mr. Like the pizza box guy? Yeah. No one has ever gotten off on like a dick through the middle of a giant, you know, pizza box and be like, oh, look, extra sausage. I'm gonna suck your dad like. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, I get ideas. It's like, you know, going to Home Depot for me, it's like, you know, I just get ideas. I'm like, oh, yeah, I want to try that. [00:53:14] Speaker C: Like, you want to put your dick through a pizza box? [00:53:17] Speaker A: No, that would burn my dick. [00:53:19] Speaker C: But I mean, I would want extra cheese, not extra sausage. [00:53:26] Speaker A: But it's like, you know. You know, a hole in the bottom of like, the popcorn bucket. And it's like. Then I'd have like, popcorn, like in like, my pubes and like butter on my dick. [00:53:37] Speaker C: Popcorn kernels. They'd stick to everything. [00:53:40] Speaker A: Yeah, then. [00:53:40] Speaker C: And what if you get like a piece of a kernel down your pee hole? Like getting. Okay, like getting. Except between your teeth is a. I can't imagine it, like, on the inside of your dick. [00:53:53] Speaker A: I mean, I'm sure that's someone's kink. Like, I'm not gonna yuck on there. Yum. You know, you enjoy. You bud. [00:54:00] Speaker C: Sounding is weird. It's so okay. It's like, okay. From a medical standpoint, it's really cool. But it's weird. Weird. [00:54:12] Speaker A: Like the. The limits in which the human body can be pushed, you know, and experience pleasure is insane to me. But I'm like, you. You do you. You know, some people are like cat of nine tails and make me bleed, and then that's how it'll come. I'm like, like. Or, you know, you can do therapy. I mean, but, you know, or you can have both. It's like, you know, but I feel like the sex is, like, way more fun just, you know, getting whipped. And it's like, yeah, sex is more. [00:54:48] Speaker C: Fun than therapy, but therapy has better outcomes. [00:54:51] Speaker A: It's like, you know, like women that, like, getting choked. I'm like, you know, like, is that, you know, natural or is that, you know, just, you know, something that just, like, happens? I'm like, oh, no. Am I, like, you know, bearing deep memories or, like, replacing him? Like, you know, like when I, like a tom, like, mates with like, a female, like, all right, you know, now you're having my babies too. Yeah, like, just kind of. Kind of like replacing it and taking over. Like, do you like being choked? [00:55:25] Speaker C: No. [00:55:28] Speaker B: That'S cuz I. [00:55:28] Speaker C: That's because I struggled with asthma a lot as a kid. I don't like it when I feel like I can't breathe all the way in. [00:55:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:39] Speaker A: It'S like asthma gets me horny. I mean, it's just like those weird things. Let's say we got five more minutes. Let's do another. Am I the. Let's like, go through the. So there's like a stop sign driver that was banned from giving children high fives because it upset Drivers. This is over. In Yorkshire, a man was arrested for peeing on $10,000 worth of food at a Sam's Club. You know, Mad lad. I love that. That was Florida. That was a Florida news. [00:56:24] Speaker C: See, that's some like high level Walmart. Which is why it happened in a Sam's Club. [00:56:30] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, he bought a membership to go in and pee on $10,000 worth of food and I go to jail. Like hell yeah, dude. Stick it to the man. [00:56:40] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:56:42] Speaker A: But now we got Am I the by corrective reflection, 878am I the for not reheating dinner for my husband after 10, I became a stay at home mom. Recently, it has been a decision that me and my husband agreed upon. However, I have set some limits on how much I'm required to do and for how long because I feel though I'm a wife and a mother, I'm still a woman who needs her time and space to look after myself. Amen, lady. I can't take care of my family when I can't even take care of myself. So I told my husband after 10pm I'm done with chores and that he shouldn't expect me to do anything. After that. He was like, yeah, whatever you say. Last night he had to work a long shift and came home at 10:15 when I was in the bathroom applying a face mask is when he came and asked when I could reheat his dinner, I said no. He asked why not? I told him to check his watch, that he would know. He paused, then laughed and said I was being ridiculous and we had to, you know, agreement. But he argued that I was acting manipulative and selfish. We started fighting, verbalizing and then he began texting his mom, telling her about what I had done we're gonna do for that matter. She started texting me, basically lecturing me about how selfish and petty about the, you know, 10:15 thing. She said I was setting a bad example for my daughter and teaching her how to be as self centered and selfish. I decided I wasn't going to talk to her and my husband and she refused to even. And he has ref. And my husband has refused to even stay at home and went to a friend's house. I feel horrible. Maybe I should have done this, you know, to a point. But we had an agreement. [00:58:33] Speaker C: Am I the okay, so A her mom could have raised a man instead of a boy who can put his own food in the microwave or B she could have come over and reheated the food for her Precious little baby. Darling boy. [00:58:48] Speaker A: I feel like, have I like texted my mom back? Mom, my wife isn't doing it. She'd be like, stop being a dickhead. [00:58:55] Speaker C: And she texts me telling me I'm doing a good job. [00:58:59] Speaker A: It's like, now, you know, put his food in the freezer. I, I, I messed up. I guess you're just going to do it because you're so smart. You're, you're the smartest guy around. Oh, fine. I'll put it in the thing myself. [00:59:14] Speaker C: I can't believe he couldn't put his own food in the microwave. [00:59:17] Speaker A: You know, I, I, I love this, you know, first comment. [00:59:22] Speaker C: Oh, my God, I want to, I want this dude roasted. [00:59:25] Speaker A: You know, the first comment, straight up, he called his mom girl. That's it. [00:59:34] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:59:39] Speaker A: But we, yeah, people like, you know, text his mom and ask him why, you know, he never, she never taught his son how to use a freaking microwave. Could cook herself some food. You know, why can't this supposed grown man? So, yeah, no, lady, you're not. The 10 o' clock is too late to, you know, be babying your man. [01:00:06] Speaker C: Jordy, put all the children to bed. [01:00:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, you're a stay at home mom, so you're taking care of, you know, at least one child. You don't need to be taking care of another. [01:00:17] Speaker C: Yep. [01:00:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:19] Speaker B: Yep. [01:00:20] Speaker A: So, you know, like, if you were just a stay at home wife, you know, that would be a, a different thing. And you know, you're like, hey, I just, you know, stay at home and take care of the house. [01:00:31] Speaker C: I want to be a stay at home wife, but I can't take care of the house. [01:00:35] Speaker B: I would never be able to do that. [01:00:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I'd expect a whole lot from you. [01:00:41] Speaker C: And I wouldn't be able to deliver. [01:00:43] Speaker A: I'd be like, I want to come home and just, you know, back, face down, ass up, lady. [01:00:54] Speaker B: Oh my God. [01:00:55] Speaker C: I could do that part. [01:00:57] Speaker A: I'm sure. [01:00:57] Speaker B: Yeah. So, yeah, this is Alex we're talking about. She might actually be turned on by that. So. [01:01:05] Speaker A: Yep. But lady, you are not the, you know, tell your husband to get over it or, you know, he can be a full time babysitter now. For relationship advice by Lung Butterscotch 208i44, female. Became disabled three and a half years ago. And my husband, 45, male, sighs when I asked for help with basic tasks. My husband and I have been together for 20 years, married for 10. So you didn't get married, you know, for 10 years. Good for you. I became disabled 3.5 years ago and despite losing most mobility on my legs, coupled with some significant pain flares where it's hard to move, I still keep up with a lot of tasks. I also am the primary caretaker for my daughter. I dress her, bathe her, feed her and take her to and from school, do homework, etc. I do the shopping, organize family events, do our finances, schedule doctor's appointments. As far as housework, I do majority of the laundry, dishes, meal for my hubby and my daughter myself, I keep everything tidy and neat in all rooms. I clean the kitchen windows and clean the bathroom. So it seems like you do a lot of Even it's on my hands and knees but I just can't vacuum any longer now. My husband always has to cut the grass, does the pool, hot tub, garage so you have enough and works a full time job. So I understand he's busy too. Oh, 40 hours a week. Boo hoo. I'm a type A and prior to becoming disabled I did everything and never asked for help from anyone. I just did it all and never asked my husband to vacuum or help with laundry or simple tasks when he is home from work. Like if he could retrieve a few things for me to save me some physical steps. Example I asked can you get our daughter a snack and you throw the laundry in the dryer? It's hard for me to bend some days. Or can you fill my water, get me my pills? Mind you, 80% of the time, 80% of the days he comes home and has a meal waiting for him and we don't mother him until he's showered and finished with his dinner or he's even more grumpy. Yep, that's men. When I ask these favors, I am a lot of times met with eye rolls, heavy size, or a sarcastic remark like great or I am so happy to do that for you. I talk to him, you know, over and over nauseam, how this hurts my heart very much. You know, it's already hard enough to do that, but I have the drive not to, you know, but not the physical stamina to accomplish the million tasks set forth. He has said at least two dozen times we'll do better, but it's 3.5 years and it makes me so distant from I have lost so much respect for him that it's hard for me to see him as a partner. I know he works hard and has stressors, but I want a teammate. I feel cheated. He says who cares? That's his response and as long as he does what I ask, you know, what are your thoughts on this? I'm lost on what to do next. Thanks in advance for the read. [01:04:16] Speaker C: So, pretty much, you know, a welcome to your future. So how do you feel about it? [01:04:24] Speaker A: You know, you ask me to do stuff all the time. It's just, you do it, you know. [01:04:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:30] Speaker A: If you get married to someone, you know, you are in for the long haul. You know, I don't, you know, take, you know, marriages just like, oh, it's my girlfriend. Oh, you know. Yes. There are times where I'm exasperated, you know. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:51] Speaker A: You know, as. As long as he is doing it, you know, you're fine, lady. Like, you know, if he's, you know, if he's like, no, do it yourself. You know, that. That's, you know, the thing. But it's like, you know, it seems like, you know, you do all the housework and you're, you know, the stay at home, you know, mom and stay at home wife and, you know, the home caretaker. But it's like, you know, as a dude, you know, he feels like, hey, I'm bringing in the money to, you know, finance this entire life that you get to live. And, you know, I. I would say. [01:05:35] Speaker B: It just depends because, like, a lot of the time it also includes the mental health, like, mental load too. So, like, you're the one that's doing all the shopping, the everything, like, appointments, like that. I don't know. And I think, like, if you're both, like, if you. If she's doing stuff throughout the day and then he comes home and he just does nothing, like, that would be really weird. I think you're supposed to, like, make it so that you both don't have to work hard. [01:06:13] Speaker C: I mean, I just don't like the fact that she said we have to wait until he's showered and fed, otherwise he gets even more grumpy. Like, to me, that's kind of little like, oh, you're walking on eggshells around your husband. [01:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, the. The dude's a grumpy grass. Yeah, that. That sucks. You know, find out what, you know, what you can do to, like, you know, like, hey, what. What is it that is, you know, stressful maybe, you know, change your job, do a different job, you know. You know, downsize your house so you don't have to work as hard. Gross. Yeah, like, reminds me of that time that you, like, pooed on the bed. [01:07:07] Speaker C: Why do you have to bring that up? [01:07:09] Speaker A: She, like, farted, you know, like, like, my wife loves Farting. [01:07:13] Speaker B: I don't love farting. [01:07:15] Speaker C: I have IBS It. There's not much I can do about it, like, that's unhappy. [01:07:19] Speaker A: You know, her butt loves farting. [01:07:22] Speaker B: I don't like it. [01:07:23] Speaker C: It's. My body doesn't like me. [01:07:27] Speaker A: But yeah, dude, you know, like, if you get married to someone, just realize you're in for it, dude. And you just have to, like, put up with anything that, you know, she says, just deal with it, shut the up, move on. Yeah. And. Seems kind of harsh. It's not, you know, like, you know, getting married is not like, you know, buying a car where you can just, like, take it back and back. Oh, can I trade it for, like, a different car? Can I get a different car? I'm gonna sell this car. No. It's like you are signing a contract for the rest of your life, and it's going to be pain if you want to break it. [01:08:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:08] Speaker A: So, you know, just you. You get a partner and, you know, sometimes you have to, like, sit down and just, you know, you can't just have, like, a frank conversation. You have to, like, actually, like, you know, hash the out all the way. [01:08:26] Speaker B: Yeah. They should go to therapy maybe. [01:08:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Because to me, it sounds like she's doing everything she can to communicate to him, and he's just nodding and then not changing his behavior. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Yep. I mean, yeah. I mean, I love my wife, but when she gets drunk in front of the family here, I'm like, but, you know, at the end of the day, I still love her, still give her kisses, still buy her in and out. [01:08:59] Speaker C: I like my kisses. [01:09:01] Speaker A: So. But, you know, that's it, you know, sorry for this weird episode inside the hotel. [01:09:09] Speaker C: I got to play with kittens. [01:09:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And so, like, we visited my mama, and we'll end on this. And, you know, she, you know, took in a stray kitten, a stray queen. [01:09:23] Speaker C: And she gave birth to six kittens. [01:09:26] Speaker A: And, you know, there's, like. We get there, and there's, like, a bunch of kittens just running around the garage. [01:09:30] Speaker C: So many kittens. A little bit. Fell asleep on my chest, tucked between my titties. [01:09:35] Speaker A: And so, yeah, there's like, a bunch of, like, little fuzzy fuzz balls just playing. [01:09:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:09:41] Speaker B: Yeah. My cat couldn't. My. I was gone basically a long time today. And so she finally, when I was in bed, she plopped herself down on my chest. It was the cutest thing. [01:09:55] Speaker C: Oh, Daisy. [01:09:56] Speaker B: She was waiting in my. When she realized I was home, she came to my room. And then when I left to do little stuff. She waited by the door. It was funny. [01:10:08] Speaker C: Daisy. Such a good girl. [01:10:14] Speaker A: So. But, yes, we got to play with some, you know, adorable little kitties. But, you know, that. That's it for this, you know, episode. We'll be back next week, back in our normal spot, back in the house and back in the, you know, professional studio. Professional. Ish. Studio. And then. Yeah, well, I know we have to go back to work. It's fine. [01:10:41] Speaker C: I don't want to go back to work. Well, I should have taken more days off. [01:10:47] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you know, next time, you know, we'll send you on a vacation out here, and then we'll, like, have you, like, come out and, like, visit, like, your family, and then, you know, we'll fly you down to, like, Courtney. [01:11:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:05] Speaker B: Wait, when's she gonna fly out here? [01:11:07] Speaker A: I have no idea. You know, okay, this is the back of a napkin idea right now. [01:11:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:14] Speaker A: So, yeah, we'll. We'll see how your vacation days are, you know, panning out or what you got. [01:11:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:11:22] Speaker A: So. But until. Until then, we will see you next week. Bye. [01:11:29] Speaker B: See ya. [01:11:30] Speaker C: Bye. [01:11:31] Speaker B: Bye.