SuperBowl

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. We are back for another week of the Human podcast. You good? [00:00:08] Speaker B: Yeah. I dropped my phone. [00:00:10] Speaker A: I'm your host, as always, Alex. The truck. We got my wife over here, not the truck. And then we got Courtney from across the land in California. [00:00:20] Speaker C: Yep. [00:00:20] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:00:21] Speaker C: I'm here. I don't know why you're sorry. [00:00:25] Speaker A: California sucks. It's. [00:00:29] Speaker C: I don't know if I'd make money there actually, like, if I was in the same position. I wonder if there's any IHSS or adult services there. [00:00:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you can also do a med ride over here, which, like, they give you a vehicle and you just, like, take, like, old people and drive them around. [00:00:52] Speaker C: Oh, well, I'm taking care of my dad. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, I don't think your dad wants to move to Colorado. [00:01:00] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe. [00:01:04] Speaker A: I mean, I. I feel like he's, you know, pretty fine where he's at. [00:01:08] Speaker C: Yeah, he doesn't want to move. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Unless California gets any more, you know, Democratic. Then he'll be, like, forced to move. I can't live here no more. It's a bunch of. Full of. A bunch of liberals. Gotta get out of this state. [00:01:27] Speaker C: Oh, God, it's so annoying. It's like a cult. It truly is. Like, he listens to, like, Fox News, like, a majority of the day. [00:01:44] Speaker A: See, here's what I do is I read, you know, exactly what legislators have put out, and I come to my own conclusions based on that. Yeah, I. I don't, you know, listen to what somebody else says, like, give me all the information. I'm like, all right, you know. You know, let. Let all the information come out on anything. Like any of the, you know, ICE shootings. And, you know, everyone's like, ice is bad. I'm like, so two people get killed and now you put a blanket statement on an entire government agency? [00:02:25] Speaker C: I'm like, well, no, there's, like, a ton of stuff that's coming out. Like, other stuff that, like, they're. They're getting the wrong people sometimes and they don't. Like, they know they're doing it. It's really weird. They go through with it anyway. [00:02:44] Speaker A: That. That'd be hilarious. [00:02:45] Speaker C: That. That one target kid, I guess they dumped him, like, at a Walmart like, a mile or two away. [00:02:53] Speaker A: Oh, no. 15 minute. [00:02:54] Speaker C: Really weird. [00:02:59] Speaker A: I don't even know what the target kid is, but, you know, I'm like, give me all the information. And it's like, you know, a couple people, you know, might be bad. And then you put A blanket statement on them. It's the same as, you know, putting a blanket statement on every, you know, Somali. It's like, oh, they're all bad. It's like, I'm sure there's quite a few of them that actually want to do good here in this country. And, you know, yes, I'm like, I'm here for them, getting rid of the criminals. But it's like, when you're in tiny little towns, it's like, leave the tiny little towns alone. Go to the big, giant towns. Go to Denver, go to Sacramento. Go, you know, go to the big ones and start, you know, busting down criminals. And then you can come after, you know, the dad taking his kids to school. You know, honestly, just give them, you know, like, it. You know, make it a game of hide and seek. And it's like, if you haven't gotten caught in, like, five years, oh, here's your green card. Good job. You know, that means, like, no one was after you. You know, you're not trying to get, you know, arrested. You're doing a good job. Yeah. You know, I'd say five years, you know, if you're here and no one's caught you since, boom, you can come in back. I got my five years. You know, here's proof that I came in on this day. Suck it. Give me my green card. And then, boom, green card. I feel like that's fair. And then they become criminals. But I mean, like, you know, we're not here to talk about ice. I, I, I, I try and leave, like, all the political out of this podcast because, you know, it just turns people off. You know, like, they, they're like, I don't like it. So we're gonna, you know, talk about, like, what was your cute story, babe? [00:04:54] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I know it costs less than 50, but, like, okay, I know it costs around average 70 bucks to microchip your cat, but please, microchip your cat, because a cat. So one of our. A very, like, one of our most. Like, we have really good clients. And so they brought a cat to us. He was an orange boy. And they were like, yeah, we've been, like, trying to catch him for about a week now. He's been on the street. We know he's not a stray cat because, like, he was so interactive. And so they finally catch him to bring it to us. [00:05:19] Speaker C: And I. [00:05:20] Speaker B: And then, of course, what do we do? We scan for a microchip. Cat has a microchip. We reach out to the company. The company tells us, oh, this is registered to this person. I call the phone number I get in contact of an owner who lost her cat a month ago. [00:05:33] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. And, like, after a month, like, sometimes it's, like, so hard to keep on thinking. [00:05:39] Speaker B: Yeah. So his name is Nemo. He's eight years old. He's so sweet and chunky, and he's staying at my clinic through the weekend because the owners, they. So they had moved out of state, so they are literally driving to us to pick the cat up on Monday. [00:05:55] Speaker A: Oh, nice. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So, like, please just microchip your cat. I. It's not that much money, and it pays off in the long run. [00:06:02] Speaker C: How far are there? [00:06:02] Speaker B: What? [00:06:04] Speaker C: How far away are they? [00:06:05] Speaker B: So they were in Michigan when I called. [00:06:10] Speaker C: Where were they from originally? [00:06:12] Speaker B: They were here from Colorado. [00:06:15] Speaker C: Okay, so they actually live here in color? [00:06:19] Speaker B: Yeah. No. So he got out of the house, literally two. He got out of the house like, a week before they were due to move out. [00:06:27] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So it was awful for them, but now they're literally driving back to come get Nemo, and I'm super excited. So please microchip your cat. Better safe than sorry. [00:06:38] Speaker C: Yep. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Nemo would have never gone back home. [00:06:46] Speaker A: Why go to Michigan, though? [00:06:48] Speaker B: I have no idea. When people, like, move out to those kind of places and, like, did, like, one of your parents die and you need to, like, take over the farm business? Like, that's always my first thought. [00:07:04] Speaker A: I mean, Michigan's, like, one of those states that I have never been been to. [00:07:10] Speaker B: I don't even know where Michigan is. Is it near the Great Lakes? [00:07:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Where are the Great Lakes? [00:07:16] Speaker A: Like, you know, where, you know, Wisconsin is? [00:07:20] Speaker B: No. [00:07:20] Speaker A: Is it. [00:07:21] Speaker B: Does Wisconsin touch the Atlantic? [00:07:24] Speaker A: No. I mean, might. Like, technically, I did not touch it at all. [00:07:32] Speaker B: In geography. I thought it was the dumbest subject ever. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Blank map of the. God damn it. No, not. Not blank map of the United States. [00:07:48] Speaker B: Don't do this to me. [00:07:51] Speaker A: No. All right. Like, here. Like, here is, like, all the states. [00:08:04] Speaker B: Okay, I know the Great Lakes look like a palm tree. [00:08:10] Speaker A: The Great Lakes are just, like, a bunch of lakes. [00:08:12] Speaker B: Okay, but. Okay, does Michigan touch the Atlantic Ocean, or does it touch a great lake? It has to touch a body of water. Right. Michigan's not landlocked. I'm somewhat certain. [00:08:27] Speaker A: What? Oh, my gosh. [00:08:31] Speaker C: Michigan, though. I have to know this now. [00:08:35] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. This is. [00:08:36] Speaker B: Wait, do you know where it is? [00:08:38] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Point to it Right now. [00:08:39] Speaker A: This right here. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:41] Speaker B: Okay. So it does touch a great lake. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Of course it does. [00:08:45] Speaker C: Water. But it's too fucking cold up there. [00:08:51] Speaker B: It is not where I thought it was going to be. I thought Michigan touched Vermont for some reason. [00:08:57] Speaker A: We're here. Colorado, you know, Colorado, you know, I. [00:09:01] Speaker C: Knew it was on the Canadian border and it was connected to the Great Lake. [00:09:05] Speaker A: Colorado, New Mexico, Texas, you know, do you know what this one. [00:09:10] Speaker B: That one's Oklahoma because it looks like an upside down pineapple cake. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota. [00:09:17] Speaker C: You know, I used to know all of these. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Okay, why is Arkansas not Arkansas? [00:09:23] Speaker A: That. It's just, you know, white people. That's it. Like, the. The reason it's not said Arkansas is because of white people, because the white people cannot say things properly. You know, it's the same reason we have the N word. It's like, you know, the black or the Spanish word for black, you know, is Negro. And, you know, white people are. I can't say all that taco language. Yeah. And then they just, you know, go hard. [00:09:51] Speaker B: I don't think I know the name of all 50 states. [00:09:57] Speaker A: California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Montana. [00:10:00] Speaker C: Oh, please stop, babe, it's not funny. [00:10:03] Speaker B: Because you know everything. [00:10:05] Speaker A: No, I don't know everything. But it's like, you know, I've been to these states. [00:10:09] Speaker B: That's fair. [00:10:11] Speaker A: You know, Louisiana's down here. [00:10:13] Speaker B: Louisiana looks like a boot. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Mm. And it's like. Yeah, you know, Arkansas, Missouri. I used to live in Missouri, and. [00:10:25] Speaker B: Now Courtney's mom does. [00:10:28] Speaker A: It's not a bad state. [00:10:30] Speaker B: You know, when you say something, it's not bad. That is never a good thing. That's like. That's like D minus. Not bad is a D minus. [00:10:40] Speaker A: It's not that bad. [00:10:42] Speaker B: Not that bad. [00:10:47] Speaker C: You're so funny. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Now, if I. If I started, you know, going to other countries, you know, like a blank map of, like, you know, Europe. Forget about it. I came. I probably can't even tell you where France is. Let's see. Blank map of Europe. Oh, God. Yeah. That's. That's a fucking nightmare. Holy shit. [00:11:10] Speaker B: And yet they're so much smaller than us. [00:11:13] Speaker A: Yeah. I can't. I couldn't tell you a single country here. Not a single fucking 10 of them. [00:11:21] Speaker B: Like, their world is so tiny compared to the us. So small. [00:11:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:30] Speaker B: I mean, like, people in America go on vacation in America because America is so big. [00:11:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:42] Speaker A: I mean, all my European friends, you know, but like, I talked to them, and then they're like. Like the European mind cannot comprehend America. You can start driving in the beginning of a day in one state and drive the entire day and still Be in the same state. [00:11:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:59] Speaker C: Yep. [00:11:59] Speaker A: Texas. I love it. [00:12:04] Speaker C: Isn't that the same thing with California, though? [00:12:08] Speaker A: You can get through the entire state of California. [00:12:09] Speaker B: Well, it depends if you're going side to side or up and down. [00:12:12] Speaker A: Even up and down. You can get from the bottom to the top. Like a day. [00:12:18] Speaker B: No, we did it in two days. [00:12:20] Speaker A: I mean. Yeah. With traffic. Yes. [00:12:23] Speaker C: Okay, let's see the very bottom. Go Sesame Place, San Diego, whatever that is. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Let's do like, Imperial Beach, San Diego. That's pretty close. And then all the way up, you know, just go. Go. You know, go past the border, go to, like, city. Yeah. And then boom. Yeah. You can do it in day very easily. I mean, for me, easily. For the rest of the normie people in the world now. Yeah. Yeah, it's. [00:13:10] Speaker C: Damn it. I thought it would. Took longer. [00:13:12] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's. It's not. It's like probably 11 and a half hours. Yeah, it's. It's not. It's not terrible. [00:13:19] Speaker C: Or 13 hours and 23 minutes through the other route. [00:13:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I have to, like, scroll out, like, a lot. Yeah. [00:13:33] Speaker C: What. What about Texas? Texas is the one that you said is. [00:13:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:40] Speaker C: 28. [00:13:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Start like in Fort Bliss, you know, and then, you know, drive. All the way to the other side of Texas. Like, let's see. Let's go to Burkeville. Yeah. Actually ain't too bad. It's only 12 hours and 52 minutes. [00:14:11] Speaker B: Okay, so how much are we defining in a day of driving? Like, as a day? [00:14:15] Speaker A: This is 848 miles, though. It's like. [00:14:19] Speaker C: So this is. So the California one is 774. [00:14:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, if you take a look. [00:14:26] Speaker C: Be like, lower. Isn't there lower stuff? Let's see. What's the farthest point of Texas to get? Let's do Papa bottom. Let's do Fort. [00:14:37] Speaker A: What Text line. And then all the way to the bottom would be like, I don't even know these. Bottom. Yeah. No one knows these. Laredo is like, the only one, like, I recognize. Yeah. San Bedino. Let's see. San Benino. Let's add. Get rid of Burkesville. I mean, it's 12 hours to, you know, get across the entire state of Texas. Like, realistically, I mean, if I was to start, you know, text line. Because, like, that. That's like the closest, you know, area to us. [00:15:27] Speaker C: It's saying it's 11 hours, 47 minutes to go from Fort Bliss, the westernmost part of Texas, to slightly past Houston to Beaumont, though it. Where's the Line. I hate when they don't show the. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Line that, well, you just have to know it. But yeah, like text line to Houston. You know, you're looking at about 12 hour drive and no one like drives 12 hours unless you're a truck driver. [00:16:02] Speaker B: Precisely. [00:16:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I, I can, you know, go insane, but, you know. [00:16:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, people from see some cool new pictures of the silk art that we did. Sorry. I was on the map and then I accidentally pressed it. [00:16:28] Speaker A: I was gonna say people from Texas are actually kind of fucking trash. Like, like not, not, you know, being entirely fucking mean, but being mean enough. Like yesterday I was at the bar and this random kid just shows up, you know, at the bar, you know, trying to, you know, make friends and integrate. And, you know, we're there, you know, celebrating, you know, our friend's birthday, the one that, you know, passed away. And, you know, he's like trying to integrate. I'm like, dude, no, but he's like too drunk to take it. Take a hint. You know, these people, like, just like, yeah. And he's like, I'm from Texas, you know, I can box. You know, I, I, I know how to fuck. You know, like trying to get low and trying to like, you know, show me like moves and stuff. I'm like, like, yeah, I just kick you, like if you started doing shit like that. He's like, oh, yeah, try. And I kicked him twice in the shin. He's like, okay, yeah, since I told you. I'm like, like, you, you're dumb, dude. You know, but he's just too drunk to fucking take a hint. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Okay, so one of my doctors at my job, so she's from Texas, and she always tells us, every now and again, she tells us story house. So like, so she, she's a vet, which means. And she's like one of the smartest vets I've ever met. Like, she's fucking brilliant. And so she said, she said how she used to, she used to be like super irritated when people said that people are from Texas are stupid. And she's like, no, I'm from Texas. I'm super smart. And then when she was like an adult, she went go back, she went to go back and visit family in Texas. And then when she came back, she was like, yeah, people in Texas are dumb. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Yeah, they are. So I, I have a bunch of Texan friends. Like, they've done, they try. It's like they've done their best. Yeah, you're dumb, dude. I, I don't care. But, and then like, you know, he gets, like, halfway through the night and he just starts dropping, like, a bunch of N bombs. I'm like, all right, dude, it is time for you to go home. You are going to get hit in the mouth. I can see seven people in this bar about to beat your ass. I'm like, I suggest you go back to your hotel and call it a night, because, like, after I leave, I cannot protect you anymore. He's like, oh, yeah, I think I'm gonna do that. But I, I think I could take a mic. You cannot. Like, I've seen most of these people fight, and I, I've seen the aftermath. You will not win. And tonight is not the night to, you know, go around about. Yeah, yeah, you know, hopefully he went home. But there's a little part of me that hopes, like, you know, when I see all my friends, like, yeah, that kid came back and I had to punch him in his goddamn mouth. Like, some people just need to, like, learn, like, a hard lesson, you know, that's just how that goes. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Because I can't learn simpler. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Sometimes, like, violence is the answer. Sometimes, you know, hitting people, you know, it teaches a really good lesson. [00:19:54] Speaker B: I know, but if you need to have a lesson beat into you, what does it say about you as a person? [00:19:58] Speaker A: You're dumb sometimes. Like, you know, you, you need to have, you know, a lesson beat into you. Like, like, that's all I'm saying. Like, Like, I had to have lessons beaten into me. And I, I learned the lesson like, when I was at a military boarding school, you know, I had to, you know, learn the lesson of, you know, not being a jackass and, you know, don't, you know, get too big for your bridges. Some kids beat my ass and learn the lesson. Pretty sweet. You know, I'm like, that's a good lesson to learn. But let's get into some of these news stories because I, I, I, I saw this one news from Iceland, and it's driver build for circling the earth 25 times and at the speed of sound. And I'm like, yeah, Iceland is living in the future, but a coach driver from. I, I can't even pron. Like, it has a letter that I don't even know what the this letter is. Oh, my God. Does it. [00:21:15] Speaker B: You can literally just hit listen. [00:21:18] Speaker C: A gills to fair. [00:21:20] Speaker B: Well, that was. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Yeah, Coach driver. [00:21:24] Speaker B: That was like fucking Tolkien word right there. [00:21:27] Speaker A: Gillespie flatly refuses to pay nearly 20 million Icelandic dollars. Now I need to find out how much this fucking actually is. Search Google for that $163,000. Holy. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but I'm like, yeah, 163,000 of our dollars equals 20 million of their dollars. America rules. But he was charged for circling the earth 25 times the speed of sound because he had driven, you know, a million kilometers. Like, everything in these foreign articles is just, like, you know, in kilometers and, you know, not American. It's like, you should just, like, translate. [00:22:22] Speaker B: It's called the empirical system. Imperial, not American. It's imperial. [00:22:28] Speaker A: I mean, like, it'd be better if I learned the metric system. [00:22:31] Speaker B: It would be. But learning two different counting systems is hard. It. You up. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Now I have to, like, fucking learn how to much a million kilometers is in miles. Because it'll tell me six. No, that. That's a comma. God damn it. Okay. Yeah. No, you didn't do that. 621,000 miles. Yeah, you. You ain't driving that in a month. Holy. Although I love the fact that it lets me listen. [00:23:21] Speaker C: Lina. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Lina. Okay, so the H is silent. Very neat notes. [00:23:26] Speaker B: How you hold your tongue in your mouth. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Lena has been busy. He does not recognize having driven half the way that would be required to make it around the globe around 25 times in a single month. So, yeah, he. He was driving around the se. Speed of sound. But, yeah, it's obviously a glitch in the whole system, but it'd be hilarious if he still had to pay it. Like, suck our dick. Paid. Anyway. But, yeah, I. I, like, this was the main thing that I worried about when America first implemented all the electronic logging devices. I'm like, something's gonna up, and it's gonna, you know, screw up someone's entire time and be like, yep, you've been on duty driving for, you know, last 100 years, and then they're gonna get pulled over. And so it can happen. But this one man breaks into a Little Caesars twice and sells pizzas after hours. Now this man, this. [00:24:44] Speaker B: He's making business. [00:24:47] Speaker A: A North Carolina man is facing multiple felony charges. [00:24:52] Speaker C: What? [00:24:53] Speaker A: After he broke into a Little Caesar's location not once, but. But twice, and started making and selling pizzas as if the store was open. [00:25:01] Speaker B: This is amazing, you know? [00:25:03] Speaker A: Oh, what did he steal, like, 17 cents worth of pizza? Knock it off. According to the Kensington Police Department, the incident happened at the Little Caesars in, you know, Kingston, North Carolina, following a major snowstorm. So he's feeding people in a snowstorm? Hell, yes. That hit the state over the weekend. Officers responded after the business reported a breaking and Entering at the closed restaurant. Police identified the 41 year old. [00:25:31] Speaker C: 41? No. [00:25:32] Speaker A: As Jonathan Hackett, a former employee of. [00:25:36] Speaker B: Okay, that makes sense. [00:25:37] Speaker A: I mean, what. What if he had, like, down syndrome or something? [00:25:41] Speaker B: Well, no, he needed to know how to run the shop. But. Continue. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Investigators say that Hackett unlawfully entered the building during the first incident. Prepared pizza, sold them to customers who are unaware anything was wrong, and. And kept the money for himself. [00:25:55] Speaker B: Yes. This is brilliant. [00:25:59] Speaker A: Authorities said Hackett returned for a second attempt, again breaking into the restaurant. This time, employers were inside the store. Wait, what? And attempted him to stop him from entering. So you are open. Police said that the confrontation escalated to a physical alternation, during which Hackett was injured. Oh, that's a lot. Lawsuit. He was transported to the hospital for treatment and later arrested after being released. According to the police, investigators do not disclose how many pizzas are made or sold during the first incident, nor how much money Hackett allegedly took. Yeah, he might not have taken anything. Hackett now faces a lengthy list of charges, including felony breaking or entering, felony obtaining property by false pretenses, felony larceny after breaking in entering, misdemeanor breaking and entering, and violating a city curfew. See, this is why laws are stupid. [00:26:59] Speaker B: I have so much respect for this dude. [00:27:04] Speaker A: Like, if you have one of these pizzas, you know, like one of the hacket pizzas, it's probably worth some money now. [00:27:08] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:27:09] Speaker A: Like, like a bitcoin at this point, it's like, yeah, I got one of the Hackett pizzas. Hell, yeah, My wife's going to the bathroom. But I hope, like, you know, the judge, like, after, like, the judge sentences him to, like, you know, jail, he's like, all right, John, can you hack it in prison? Okay, I suck at comedy. It's fine. And then for the last news story, Homeland Security has been spying on Reddit users, probably finding nothing of value. I'm not even gonna read the rest of this story, you know, because obviously it's stupid. But I'm sure, you know, just Homeland Security is just sitting there, just, like, watching, you know, bots argue with each other. And just the dumbest, most autistic people on planet earth, you know, who sit on Reddit all day, be like, yep, you know, you. We're getting great information. This is a waste of our tax dollars. Get off of Reddit. Homeland Security. And now on to Ask Men advice, because men have the best answers. Oh, wow. I. I just read the. The name. It's Muslim conservative. She said, we'll try something. When I told her I wanted out of the friend zone. Is that a yes? Probably no. Hey everyone, I need some perspective. I, 27 male, met a woman, 45 female, yes, queen, at my gym a couple months ago. We've had casual gym meetups and texted here and there. She's divorced. I casually. I asked casually early on. We went on lunch recently and I decided to cut to the chase about stepping out of the friend zone. I told her I found her attractive and gorgeous. She laughed like I caught her off guard. And then she said something along the lines of we'll try something. I'm not sure what that means. Is that a yes to my interest or a polite non committal language for some extra context? She's usually slow to text back, but during this interaction she responded quickly. We talked about when she's free. Next, she mentioned Friday. She left when I said I found her attractive and didn't push back. So does you know we'll try something from a 45 year old woman typically indicate interest or is it more cautious slash non committal? I'm trying to figure out, is it safe to escalate flirtation and chemistry next time we meet? Thanks for any insight. [00:30:16] Speaker B: Why isn't OP asking her instead? He's asking the Internet. I don't understand why he's not asking her to clarify if he's confused. I mean, there's nothing wrong with asking for clarification if you're confused. [00:30:30] Speaker A: If you're not a bot or anything like that. And you know, based on the name alone, you know, she, she's being nice to you, you know, because she doesn't want to like hurt your feelings. [00:30:44] Speaker B: I don't know. I kind of hope she's actually going for it. But if OP is confused, he should just ask. [00:30:51] Speaker A: I mean, 45 year old woman and a. What was a 27 year old dude? [00:30:58] Speaker B: Yeah, he'll last. [00:31:01] Speaker A: He'll last. What does that mean? Like, I am, you know, in my mid-30s, so I'm not even as old as this lady here. If a 27. If I was single and a 27 year old female is like, hey, you want to go out on a date? No. [00:31:19] Speaker C: No. [00:31:20] Speaker A: You are too fucking young, you know? Hell no. Absolutely no. [00:31:28] Speaker B: Okay, I'm gonna be honest. Once you're past 24, I am perfectly fine with a more significant age gap. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna be honest about that once. [00:31:40] Speaker C: Like, I feel like once you're 25, you're, you're, your brain's fully developed. [00:31:45] Speaker B: You have fully developed and it's different now. You're Able to make better decisions with understanding ramifications outside your own world. [00:31:55] Speaker A: It's like if your birth year starts with a two. Absolutely not. I mean the, you know, this dude was born like in 1999, but still. What? [00:32:08] Speaker B: Fuck. I'm that old. [00:32:10] Speaker A: Yes, we are that old. [00:32:11] Speaker B: I'm still alive and I'm this old. [00:32:15] Speaker A: Mm. Yeah. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Okay. I would have never thought I was gonna live this long. This is crazy. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Uh huh. So let's see what the people say. Dude, there's no friend zone at 45. Ain't nobody got time or energy for that. You have zero game and caught her off guard on an insane question. Fuck, she probably already thought you were on a date. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Yes, I'm here for that comment. [00:32:39] Speaker C: Oh man. [00:32:42] Speaker A: Yeah, everyone's calling this dude out as AI or whatever. Just ask her. Yeah, I mean, still, I mean, I, you know, she wants you as a toy boy. [00:32:55] Speaker B: Well, he should still ask for clarification. If she says what I want, he's fine. Being that then it's all right. As long as both parties are fully understanding of their expectations. [00:33:08] Speaker C: Yep. [00:33:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:10] Speaker B: And I'm sorry, women in their 40s are still allowed to be sexual beings. [00:33:14] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. But you know me as a, like I, I see someone that's 20, 20 years younger than me, you know, like, never mind, we'll cut that. [00:33:29] Speaker B: Thank you Jesus. Thank you. [00:33:32] Speaker A: Like I did like quick math. I'm like, no, absolutely not. But like when I hit 40, like imagine hitting 40 and dating someone that's 20. [00:33:44] Speaker B: I mean again, once we're past that, my previous set year mark, I'm fine with it. Nothing's going to turn me off. Once you're past that age. Sorry babe. [00:33:57] Speaker A: I mean I, I have a feeling. [00:33:58] Speaker B: Like that dude, that's my blanket statement. [00:34:00] Speaker A: I have a feeling like this dude just has no game and she just enjoys having someone that's willing to pay for lunch. [00:34:09] Speaker B: So they're both pathetic individuals. [00:34:12] Speaker A: I mean they, they could not exist altogether. This is the Internet. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Like, I hate it. Like they're. I hate it when I see AI videos that are almost 100% cat like. But the last second I realized they're not. That's AI Because I know cat body language and I know a cat's body wouldn't do that one specific thing. That until then I was like, you know what? This is probably a real cat. And I'm like, oh no, that's AI. Shit's getting so close to being real. Eventually I'm not going to be able to recognize a non existent Cat, someone. [00:34:43] Speaker A: Says this account needs to be banned or something. Now I want to see what the Restless dude, you know, says. Yeah, Lunch date tomorrow. How do I make a move without getting friend zoned? Did I mess up by contacting a married woman's husband about an emotional affair I couldn't take? [00:35:11] Speaker B: Oh, this is completely different from the previous scenario op presented to us. [00:35:18] Speaker C: Wow. Oh, this is actually pretty funny, guys. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:35:24] Speaker A: So. So this guy is a complete. And he's been like, you know, risen up. This lady caused a divorce and he's like, all right, you know, now do I, you know, continue? It's like you're just kind of a piece of. [00:35:38] Speaker C: Wow. [00:35:39] Speaker A: So. [00:35:42] Speaker C: People are amazing. [00:35:45] Speaker B: You can't trust things on the Internet. [00:35:47] Speaker A: I. I don't trust anything on the Internet. That. That. That's why this, you know, whole podcast is for fun. Y Am I the We. We'll go straight into that by disastrous. Thanks 3575. Am I the asshole for winning into my divorce? Am I the asshole? I was divorced 10 years ago from my wife of 19 years. Jesus. It was amicable about until around 4 years ago. Even after our divorce, we'd do things together. I. E. Surf, take road trips together to see our grown children. I was still close to my in laws and whenever there is a family event, I would always be invited. Both my father in law and my sister in law told me I was always family. My ex was incredibly irresponsible with money. I bought her out of the home we owned and I used the market value minus the money what was owed and divided by two, she walked away with a good bit of money. Well, about four years ago I started hearing from my sister in law that my ex was saying that if I'm invited to anything, she would not go. Even after her sister and dad would hear that she would invite me to go surfing or dinner to one of our children's birthdays. About a month ago I finally asked her sister why she changed. Her sister said that she wasted all the money from the divorce and is saying that I screwed her out of a house. None of this is true. I was heartbroken when she wanted the divorce and financially split was completely her idea. I agreed to everything she suggested. But in the 10 years since the house has doubled in value. I made a great decision on buying her out, but it wasn't easily and we find and struggled financially for years after. What bothers is she's and punishing my character to cover for the fact that she blew all the money. Am I. The asshole for winning in the divorce. So pretty much, you know, you did really good with your fucking money, and you were smart with your money, and she was not. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Yeah. No. [00:38:00] Speaker A: And now she's fucking bitter. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Because you have money and she does not. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Opie, you are not that asshole. [00:38:08] Speaker C: No. Weirdos. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Like, I, I, I stole this meme off of, like, a giveaway. And, like, like, congratulations to this guy for winning this, you know, new thing. And I'm. And someone, you know, posts the meme like, of, like, this angry kid, and he's like, you know, and it's like, like a. A collaboration of photos. And just, like, the kids just, like, grumpy during all the photos, like, not happy for you. Boo. Give it to me. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's 100% it. That's hilarious. [00:38:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:52] Speaker A: So, yeah, dude, you. You won. You did good. You know, she didn't. It's fine. That's what I did. After my divorce, my ex put down the down payment on the house I got from inheritance, you know, so I'd get 40, he'd get 60. I lost about a hundred. I got about a hundred thousand. Put it down a smaller house. Yeah, I mean, like, she should have just, like, taken her money and invested that. [00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's. This is entirely on her. She wasted it. [00:39:31] Speaker C: Yep. So secret people. [00:39:33] Speaker A: I mean, sometimes just bad happens, and that's how that goes. So. Got two more. Am I the. And then we'll be done. [00:39:46] Speaker C: All right. [00:39:47] Speaker A: By this one real point. Six, four, seven, four. Am I the for getting a woman fired over veggie tails? [00:39:56] Speaker B: I'm already gonna say not the asshole, but let's go. [00:39:59] Speaker A: I love the. Just the Veggie Tales alone. [00:40:02] Speaker B: I loved Veggie Tales. [00:40:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:06] Speaker B: Dopest shit. Jonah and the Whale was my favorite. I don't care how bad that sounds. I love veggie. [00:40:13] Speaker A: It's a fucking mind warming. [00:40:15] Speaker B: They had bloopers for Jon of the Whale. The bloopers were top notch. [00:40:20] Speaker A: You know, you get anyone our age and start, you know, singing, it's like, we are the pirates. So that don't do anything, and everyone just, like, starts singing. It's like. [00:40:31] Speaker B: It was so good. [00:40:33] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, this was like our generation. Do not show it to new kids. I don't want the new kids knowing our shit. Fuck them. [00:40:41] Speaker B: They would understand. [00:40:43] Speaker A: But let's get in the story. My wife and. And I unfortunately have her son in daycare. It's unavoidable. A few months ago, I picked him up and When I asked him about his day, he told me about a show that they watched with cartoon vegetables. Hmm. When I dropped him off the next day, I asked the teacher if they watch VeggieTales. She said she didn't know. She didn't show anything the kids anything inappropriate. [00:41:10] Speaker B: So, no. [00:41:12] Speaker A: But I asked if they did watch VeggieTales. She refused to give me a straight answer. I said, I don't want them to watch VeggieTales. [00:41:20] Speaker C: What? [00:41:21] Speaker A: She said she wasn't going to because it's religious. [00:41:23] Speaker B: Fair enough. Fair enough. [00:41:24] Speaker A: She said she wasn't going to be allowed to watch anything inappropriate. The day when I got home, I asked, did you watch VeggieTales? He did. I emailed the administration. They assured me, no, veggietales. It is not improved media to show to kids. It has never been and will never be shown. Next week I asked, did you watch VeggieTales? Yup. I reached out again, and I'm told that my son is confused. Right. So I wait a week and ask my boss if I can leave early. I walked past the receptionist. She told me to stop, but I didn't. Into the main room, and boom, there it is. Veggie Tales. I took a picture and was giving a warning for barging in. Fair. But the administration promised the the veggietales thing would be solved. The teacher had to take all the tapes home and she would not be able to bring the tapes ever again next week. Did you watch VeggieTales? No, dad. Great. Following week. Did you watch VeggieTales? Yup. Oh, I email again. At this point, I'm starting to get other people involved. The Anti veggietales Coalition. Even some of the Christian parents were annoyed. One woman watches it at home with her daughter and didn't want it to be watched all day in daycare because if her daughter had questions, she wanted to be asked, not the teacher. Great. Join the Anti veggietales Coalition. [00:42:59] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:43:00] Speaker A: The resolution was the teacher got fired. Now there's a backlash against me. People feel bad. They feel guilty. It's all my fault. I pressured them into making it a big deal. They're just animated vegetables. Even my wife said I pulled me and went on a war path. Am I the asshole or should I just. Or should she have just left her animated vegetables at home? [00:43:26] Speaker B: Okay. As someone who was raised in a religious household, as myself, I. I completely understand OP's like, issue with the VeggieTales. Like, now that I've Listened to it. I understand where his issue is coming from, and I think that's a perfectly valid issue. And was a teacher wrong for continuing to play the VeggieTales even after she had been basically caught and only slapped on the wrist? That's where the teacher becomes the ultimate asshole in this whole coalition. [00:43:58] Speaker A: Like. [00:44:00] Speaker B: She should have known better to continue playing it after the reprimand. Like, the fact that she did that and the school was going to let going on makes the entire scholastic community an asshole. Like, OP is more than right to draw their boundaries. And the circumstances afterwards were unfortunate. But also, if this person had been disrespecting OP as a parent, what other parents had that teacher been disrespecting? Like, I don't think this is the only incident where they've had this issue with this teacher from. That's starting to sound like it to me. And so she was going to get fired for something like this sooner or later, in my opinion. [00:44:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, teach the kids, like, you know, don't. Don't just like sit there and put on a fucking show. [00:44:45] Speaker B: Yeah, that too. But however, veggietales was still fire as a kid. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Like, like this comment here. She would. She clearly wasn't watching them with them or she would know lying is bad. Bob and Mary would be very disappointed in her. [00:45:06] Speaker C: That's actually pretty funny. That's so funny. Oh, my God. [00:45:19] Speaker A: But, but yeah, the fact that, you know, you're lying to the parents, you know, that that's what, you know, really, like, pushed it over the. [00:45:26] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's what's truly in the whole situation, you're right, babe, is the fact that the teacher lied. That's where it becomes like, oh, now. [00:45:32] Speaker A: You could have been like, hey, you know, what are your approved things that you can, you know, because here's the thing, you know, parents, you know, ultimately have, you know, the power here, you know, and if you don't want them, you know, watching something at a daycare, that. That's your whole thing. Cool. And yeah, I mean, at first, like, I just like, read the title. I'm like, yeah, kind of getting someone fired over, you know, Larry looking for his hairbrush. [00:46:06] Speaker B: Yeah. No, there's a difference between what the lie was for and what it was lied about. [00:46:11] Speaker A: So, I mean, yeah, it'll all blow over. [00:46:15] Speaker B: I respect OP for standing their ground, though. I do respect. [00:46:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:24] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, you know, you give it a week and you're like, oh, we won't do veg. And then the exact next Week, you're like, yeah, back to it. Yeah, there's plenty of good children's shows that you can, you know, show them. I don't know what they are because I don't have kids, but I'm sure there's a bunch of good children. [00:46:43] Speaker B: Well, I feel like if you're going to show a religious story like that, you need to show stories from other religions, too. Like, either you don't talk about it at all, or you talk about all of them. [00:46:52] Speaker A: Muslim Veggie Tales. Jewish Veggie Tales. [00:46:58] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:47:00] Speaker A: Just flare the cucumber coming through with a suicide vest. I'm gonna blow myself up and get fucking 73 virgin CUC uppers. [00:47:16] Speaker C: I like Sausage Party. How they included that. A bunch of people from different. [00:47:22] Speaker A: It was funny to just, like, have, like, you know, fun little songs like Allah Akbar, I'm a bad Guy. [00:47:35] Speaker B: And. [00:47:35] Speaker A: They just blow up and then they have, like, cooked cucumber on, like, a plate. But. All right, last one. Last. Am I the. Because, like, okay, let me see. Good children shows to show kids. Okay. Paw Patrol, Owl House is pretty good held. I don't know what the. I don't know what half these shows are. [00:48:12] Speaker B: Well, yeah, because there are shows that are proved to be shown to children today. Not what. Although. Okay. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Sesame Street. Yeah, that. That's a good one. Sesame Street. [00:48:22] Speaker B: I was scared of Sesame Street. [00:48:26] Speaker C: Really? [00:48:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I know all the characters. Like, they had really big jiggly eyes, and it really scared me to look at them. [00:48:31] Speaker A: Oh, Little Bear. Yeah. [00:48:33] Speaker B: Okay. Little Bear was dope. [00:48:34] Speaker A: Dragon Tales. [00:48:35] Speaker B: I didn't get to watch. I thought that was unfair. [00:48:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Dragon. [00:48:39] Speaker C: Alex, you watched Dragon Tales? [00:48:41] Speaker B: I did. [00:48:41] Speaker A: Dragon Tails was dope. [00:48:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:44] Speaker A: I had a slapping song. Everything. Hell, yeah. [00:48:47] Speaker B: We're not being allowed. [00:48:50] Speaker C: Yeah, it was on pbs. You watched it? The two kids that go to Dragon Land. Not ringing any Bill. No. [00:49:01] Speaker B: I'm sorry, darling. [00:49:03] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:49:04] Speaker B: I do remember Word Girl, though. I mean, like, a kid in, like, Canadian library. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Mr. Rogers neighborhood had 31 seasons. God damn. [00:49:16] Speaker B: I watched every episode of Mr. Rogers. [00:49:19] Speaker A: Mr. Rogers is great. I. I really like Mr. Rogers. [00:49:23] Speaker B: I learned, like. So, like, I kind of feel like sometimes the reason why I came out of, like, my trauma so better situated is because I watched Mr. Rogers and he always talked a lot about how to, like, manage your emotions. And for me, that was really helpful, as awful as that sounds. [00:49:40] Speaker C: Yep. [00:49:40] Speaker A: But. All right, let's get to the last. Am I the. Because this one I like just for the title. Outside Financial. Am I the. For Leaving my wife at home after she revealed she was going to wear white to my brother's wedding. [00:50:01] Speaker B: Okay, I'm already leaning one direction, but I need to hear it out. [00:50:04] Speaker A: So my wife and my brother's wife don't get along. Okay, okay. [00:50:11] Speaker B: So sisters in law continue. [00:50:12] Speaker A: It's leaning. My wife has a bit of a temper, but my sister in law isn't a saint as well. However, I was never going to let my wife pull something at the wedding in which she tried to wear a white dress. I explicitly told her not to even think about it. She did it once, no doubt she'll do it again. [00:50:35] Speaker B: She's already done that shit once. [00:50:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, so she wouldn't stoop to sister in law's level and do it, Although she. [00:50:47] Speaker C: So did the sister do it or did the wife do it? Because that seems ambiguous. Like the way he said it is ambiguous. [00:50:56] Speaker A: So my wife and brother don't get along. My wife has a bit of temper, but sister in law isn't the same as well. However, I was never gonna let my wife pull something at the wedding in which she tried to wear a white dress. I explicitly told her not to even think about it. She did it once, no doubt she'll do it again. She can be that. [00:51:15] Speaker B: Okay, okay, now read the second paragraph. [00:51:20] Speaker A: I think petty is the word you're looking for. Not pity. [00:51:23] Speaker B: No, it's gotta be petty. But read the second one. [00:51:26] Speaker A: She said she wouldn't stoop to sister in law's level, although. [00:51:31] Speaker C: Oh, so sister in law has done it already. Yes. [00:51:34] Speaker B: Okay. [00:51:35] Speaker C: Oh my God. Yeah. [00:51:39] Speaker A: Although she was mad I was just gonna be a guest at my brother's wedding. She urged me to not let it slide. I told her that if she even tried to wear a white that I wouldn't let her go through with it. She bought a black dress and she said she'd wear it at the wedding and I believed her. Yeah, you typing is terrible. We were prepared to go and she comes downstairs wearing a white strap dress. I lost it and asked her what was wrong with her. She said she wouldn't understand and I shouldn't involve myself in a woman's disagreements. I told her to stop and get changed or I wouldn't take her with me. She argued and returned in the black dress because it was too tight, which was true, and I'm sure this is deliberate. She argued about returning the black dress because it was too tight. [00:52:34] Speaker B: She bought it too small on purpose, but continue. [00:52:37] Speaker A: I. I told her she was ruining this for my brother. Not just Sister in law. She refused. I called her petty and then left. I. I went without her. And everyone was asking about her. And they understood why she didn't come. They assumed it was with a beef with sister in law. I found about 11 texts, all containing choice words directed at me and sister in law. She went to go stay with her sister, who got herself involved and called me and my family toxic and abusive. My mom heard the show. Thankfully, brother and sister in law don't know what's going on. Although mom says they deserve to know what type of person my wife is. Now I'm stuck between my family and my wife who refused to come, saying, we need to make it right. Whatever that means. My question is, am I the for not letting her go to the wedding wearing white? [00:53:33] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Everyone sucks here. [00:53:36] Speaker C: Yeah, everyone does. [00:53:37] Speaker B: Everyone sucks. [00:53:39] Speaker C: It sucks. But unfortunately, yeah. [00:53:41] Speaker B: And I'm sorry. If I was Opie's wife, I might also be wearing white to the wedding. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. [00:53:49] Speaker C: If someone wore white to my wedding, I would be pouring like red wine on them. [00:53:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:54] Speaker A: What if I wore like, a white suit? [00:53:57] Speaker C: That's different. [00:53:58] Speaker B: That's different. [00:54:00] Speaker C: So. [00:54:00] Speaker A: So, like, men can wear white, but women can't? [00:54:04] Speaker B: Nope. Nope. [00:54:05] Speaker A: I. I don't know. Like, the, like the dress code at a wedding is like, I don't wear. [00:54:09] Speaker B: That's why I dressed you for our wedding. [00:54:11] Speaker A: I don't have white clothes. [00:54:13] Speaker B: No, you don't. [00:54:15] Speaker A: Yeah, just like all black. It's fine. Let's see what the comments say. Not the asshole. Wearing white to a wedding is an asshole move. Regardless of whatever beef is going on, this is a day for your brother and sister in law. They've been planning for a long time, put a lot of money in it. It's their day. You did the right thing by protecting it. [00:54:32] Speaker B: But Opie didn't protect his own wedding from this. [00:54:38] Speaker C: Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't. [00:54:39] Speaker B: No, he didn't. [00:54:44] Speaker C: True. Damn. [00:54:46] Speaker A: Yeah, not the asshole. But your wife definitely is. But I'm not sure why you married someone who never left high school. Like, regardless of your sister in law, your wife is waving red. [00:54:58] Speaker C: I remember reading this. I read. I read this earlier today. [00:55:02] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [00:55:03] Speaker C: And like, I was actually on the guy's side, but I didn't realize that the sister in law had done it too. [00:55:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:11] Speaker C: And quite honestly, I would have been petty. [00:55:13] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. No, I, I 100 would have worn white. [00:55:24] Speaker A: Not the for this situation. But you're the for being married to someone who sounds so awful. [00:55:31] Speaker B: Well, is she that awful or is this how Op's describing his partner? Like, clearly there's other stuff going on between Op's wife and the sister in law, so this is kind of like icing on the cape top right here. A lot more stuff have to have. Has to have been going on as well. [00:55:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:52] Speaker A: I mean, some women just fight for no reason. [00:55:55] Speaker B: Well, yeah. Cause fighting's fun sometimes. [00:55:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:00] Speaker A: Like, men, like, we're like, all friends. [00:56:02] Speaker B: Like, no, you're all cavemen. [00:56:05] Speaker A: Yeah, we're like. You like boobs? I like boobs. Hell yeah. We're best friends. Friends now. Like, literally my best friend in the whole world. I invited him into my place and, you know, got him my PB and J. That's it. That's. That's how we became best friends. [00:56:27] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:56:28] Speaker A: Yeah, like, that. That's how I met Ben. He's like, hanging outside my apartment one day and. Yeah, I didn't know who he was. I knew everyone. [00:56:37] Speaker B: You told me you guys met on Facebook. [00:56:39] Speaker A: No. Yeah, we didn't make me on Facebook for shit. Yeah, no. Like, he was hanging outside my apartment one day. I just, like, see, like, this, you know, kid, just like, you know, I'm like, yo, you want a PB and J? I didn't have. I'm just like, you know, but I could make him a PB and J. And he's like, like. He's like, yeah, sure. I'm like, all right, come on. Thank you. PB and J. And, you know, then I didn't, like, see him forever. And then I saw him at, like, Ronnie's place. I'm like, holy, you're that PB and J guy. And like, yeah, we were, like, best friends. It was wild. And now here in, you know, the end of June into July, I'm gonna go down and see him. Excited. I already bought my plane tickets. I already had my car, you know, reserved everything. [00:57:37] Speaker B: It's so exciting. [00:57:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:40] Speaker A: But we will see you all next week with some of the same, like, I. I say, you all, like, see, you'll hear my voice again next week, Mom. Yep, it's fine, but. All right, later. Bye. [00:57:57] Speaker B: Bye. [00:57:57] Speaker C: Bye.