My Favorite Serial Killer

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. Sorry we were not here last week. That sucks. I know, but I was busy. We're all busy and life happens and we're back. So as an apology, at the end of this episode, I will insert after one of my stand up comedy clips. I might even do it at random so it might be one that's just absolute trash. And if you listen to the podcast, you get to hear it first. And then afterwards I'll put it up on my Instagram at Alexatruck. That's my official apology. Tough shit. If your life revolves on this podcast, you got it. Like, this is the only podcast that's allowed in North Korea from America. Or you're just like, I'm just going to find the first podcast and mine is the only one that popped up. And you're like, okay, this is it. And if you're that one person, thank you so much for being the person listening to my know. Cool. Good on you. But I'm alex the truck. We got my wife over here. Not truck at all. She hates trucks. [00:01:32] Speaker B: I drive a previous. [00:01:36] Speaker A: She'S these dumb bitches on the road that I fucking hate. And then we got Courtney over there in California just voting for democracy or something. I don't know what the Californians do anymore. They're coming over here and ruining our state. Courtney was a good one. She went back to California. She came out here from California and she's like, yeah, I don't belong here. There's guns. [00:02:01] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:02:03] Speaker A: My sister's, she's she's she's back in California for good reason. But thank you all so much for fucking being here on the best news I have heard in a long time. We're going to start with some great news. Red Lobsters endless shrimp is back, baby. I think it's like $35 now instead of like the 20 that it was. And they are going to lose money again. They did this fucking thing before and they had endless shrimp, all you can eat. And fat Americans rejoiced came out of the woodworks and like, yeah, let's get the fuck out there and gobble some shrimp forever. They should just have a timer on the table and it's like, you have 1 hour and then just bring them like three plates of shrimp if they can do that. But they had like an all you can eat seafood buffet. It was like snow crab legs and shit. Like they're losing money. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Like, is Red Lobster good? [00:03:17] Speaker A: It's like on like it's like does Applebee's serve good hamburgers kind? [00:03:23] Speaker B: Okay, because everyone always talks about Red Lobster and I'm like, okay, I don't ever remember being to a Red Lobster, but I know just from my own understanding of food, that is not seafood. [00:03:34] Speaker A: What are you talking about? They have like a tank full of lobsters. Like every Red Lobster, a tank full of live lobsters. Like right up front we used to live, like, right next to her. I'm pretty sure we went to a Red Lobster. They had Cheddar Bay biscuits that we took home. Yeah, I mean, they're pretty good. I don't hate Red Lobster. It's just expensive and above the level of bougie where I'm comfortable going. [00:04:06] Speaker B: Is Red Lobster as expensive as Sushi? [00:04:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:10] Speaker B: Okay, then. Yeah. [00:04:17] Speaker A: It'S wildly expensive. All of it? [00:04:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Like like, you're going to go into Red Lobster and spend like, $100 on that meal okay. For like, three people. [00:04:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:34] Speaker A: I can't remember who we went with. I'm pretty sure we went, like, some of your coworkers or something. Because there's no way that I would just go there just to go there. We lived at Pyros when we went last time. Yeah. No idea. We must have gone with somebody. Yeah, I don't remember who the fuck we went with. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Okay, so you don't remember that part. But was the food good? [00:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah, because I didn't pay for it. Any food I don't pay for is fucking delicious. It's like, oh, holy shit, this is so good. And then when I pay for the food, I'm like, fuck. God damn. Ramen again. Rice. That's why aging people have squinty eyes. Because every night they're like rice again, put their hands on the side of the head and pull their eyes back. No, it's an old joke from, like, the second grade, and it's like, insanely racist, I guess. I feel like so many people call everything racist just to make themselves feel good. Honestly, I see all these PC fucking people and they come out of the fucking woodworks. Whoops, yeah, that's fine. And they're like, that's racist. That's wrong. You can't do that. That's evil. You're a bad person for that. Why? Honestly, if I'm saying if I say a racist joke, like, Mexicans don't barbecue because the beans fall through the grill, it's like, ha, that's funny. And it's not really based in truth. Of course they fucking grill. They need a job. [00:06:42] Speaker B: There's just a place and time for it. That's all. [00:06:45] Speaker A: Yeah, but if you're around, like, a bunch of people having a good time, just telling fucked up jokes, and then someone comes out and like, I don't like dad. It's like, you're the worst person. You're awful, and no one likes you. And then they pretend that they're a victim. Every single time I see one of these PC people, it's not the person that should be offended. I see someone doing something racist, and a white person will come out and be like, hey, black people don't like that. It's like, what are you talking about? They love watermelon and chicken, but they don't like how is that a bad thing to like watermelon and chicken? I like watermelon and chicken. Is it a bad thing that I like it? I'm allergic to watermelon. Still like it. [00:07:43] Speaker C: I didn't know you were allergic to watermelon. [00:07:46] Speaker B: You like watermelon. [00:07:46] Speaker C: I didn't know you were allergic to freaking oranges. [00:07:50] Speaker A: I'm allergic to watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, anything that falls within that range of Melanie melons. [00:07:59] Speaker B: No, you've reacted to oranges a couple of times around me. There's a reason why we don't have oranges in the house anymore. [00:08:10] Speaker A: I have no problem eating them. Is it bad? [00:08:15] Speaker B: Yes. Don't continuously expose yourself to something you are allergic to because each time you increase the level of your body's reaction to it. [00:08:23] Speaker A: I'm allergic to cats. And now I'm not, because I've fucking been around cats. [00:08:29] Speaker B: No. [00:08:30] Speaker A: I'm allergic to grass. I'm allergic to pollen. I'm allergic to cooties. [00:08:36] Speaker B: Guess what I feed our cats? Live Clear. [00:08:39] Speaker A: I don't know what that means. [00:08:41] Speaker B: It's a Preana diet where it helps negate the protein in the cat saliva that humans react to is the allergy. [00:08:48] Speaker C: Oh, my goodness. That's so funny. [00:08:51] Speaker A: Yeah. I used to have to take Claritin. Now I don't have to. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yes, I have removed several of your stressors. You are welcome. [00:09:03] Speaker A: This was before I met you. [00:09:08] Speaker B: Fair enough. I still feel like I've made a valid I've made contributions. [00:09:16] Speaker A: You realize I'm gone half the week? [00:09:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. [00:09:21] Speaker A: And love has made me not allergic to my cat. The other cats are. Shitheads. Your cat's assholes. My cat great. [00:09:34] Speaker B: My cat's a dick. Top notch cat. Oh, my God. He's so bad. He's so cute when he's bad. Why is he so cute when he's bad? [00:09:49] Speaker A: Because your cat's a little asshole. [00:09:51] Speaker B: He's so cute, though. I have a rag doll. [00:09:57] Speaker A: My wife. For those that don't know what that fucking is, it's as trashy as you think it is. A rag doll? That just sounds like the shittiest doll you can give your kid. It's the shittiest cat you can give a person. It's a shithead cat that has nothing in its head except evil, bad thoughts, if it ever has one. They're dumb as bricks. You might as well just get a pet rock and add some fucking fluff to it and you got yourself a much better animal. My cat. Cunning, smart, stylish, cute. A short haired mut. Love her. Trash cat from fucking walmart. Great. [00:10:42] Speaker B: No, from a trailer park. Oh, no, you're right. She was the one from the Walmart parking lot. I was thinking of a different kitty. Yeah. She was from a Walmart parking lot. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Fucking little trailer know, white trash shithead cat. I love her, though. [00:11:00] Speaker B: She has rose into the pinnacle ruler of this house. [00:11:03] Speaker A: Oh, my God. But, yeah, I feel like the pinnacle, the pendulum, is swinging back to where it's going to be okay to say retarded. And it's going to be okay. Like gay never meant a homosexual person. Just meant happy. And then all the homosexuals are like, we're taking that. That's a great word. And it's so much easier to say than homosexual. It's like we're gay. Yeah, it kind of fits. Black people are like, that's a Spanish word for black. That's us. And now we're offended by it. Unless we say it, then it's okay. And white people aren't offended by anything except other people's struggles because white people have such a great, easy life. Look at it. You have. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I'm not going to sit here and bitch about first world problems. I know my place. I'm very grateful for the privilege I was born into. [00:12:25] Speaker A: As a brown dude, I have faced a bit of attempted racism, and I find it hilarious because people will come up and be like, you goddamn towel head terrorist motherfucker. I'm like, what a towel head? No, that's women. They're the terrorists that have towels on their head, especially after a shower. You should see them. Especially like my mom at, like, a fucking Target. When something doesn't go her way, she turns into a Karen goddamn Target terrorist. And they're like, what's happening right now? It's like you're attempting to be racist, but you're using old tropes from way back in the day. That no longer fucking work. And it sucks to be you because you're an uncreative piece of shit. Oh, my God. You can still be racist. You have the right to your opinion on what you think about other people, but just don't say it too loud at a mall because no one's going to come to your rescue when eight black people come up to beat your ass. That's the difference between white people and black people. If three white dudes come to beat up a black dude, like eight more black dudes will come out of the woodworks, and those white guys will get their asses beat. If any white person sees another white person getting beat up, I ain't seeing nothing. They might film it. That way they can have evidence, but they're just going to put it on TikTok. That's it. I didn't see shit, officer. But the thing I do love about Mexicans and black people, they didn't see damn thing. When the cops come around, anytime the police are there and they're like, I didn't see shit. Fuck off. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Stitches get stitches. [00:14:36] Speaker A: Yeah, not really. Rats go to fuck. Rats die. See, there's a difference between a rat and a snitch. A rat is someone that are we. [00:14:52] Speaker B: Talking about Harry Potter or something different? [00:14:55] Speaker A: Talking about fucking snitches. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:14:58] Speaker A: And rats. [00:14:59] Speaker B: I know, but I heard snitch, and it kind of jostled me over to Harry Potter and I got confused. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Fucking women. Am I right? No, I just had to confirm Twilight and Harry Potter. Vampires and wizards and magical things and fairies and glitter. Oh, it's wonderful. [00:15:20] Speaker B: I can't partake in a conversation if I don't understand. [00:15:25] Speaker A: I'm just going to immediately think that my husband's talking about Harry Potter. He hasn't read any of the books, and he only seen the first movie. That's it. I haven't seen any of the other there's like, I guess eight movies. [00:15:38] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Right? Like, I don't care. I don't fucking care. Everyone's always like this and I'm like, I don't care. And I feel bad, but I don't care. I just missed out on it entirely. [00:15:50] Speaker C: Missed out. What? [00:15:51] Speaker A: I missed something on the Harry Potter shit. [00:15:54] Speaker B: Like either you got it or you didn't get it. And I did not get. [00:16:00] Speaker A: Like, I kind of want to fucking just go watch all the movies. That way I can support that one author that's getting hate. Like a bunch of people are calling her like a turf or something like that. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Or you can just go read an excerpt on Wikipedia. It's much faster. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Okay, so there's this YouTube series, I forget what it's called, but they literally take a movie and compress it down like five minutes and explain what the fuck happens in the movie. Explain the plot, explain all the important pieces of what happens in the movie and then give you the ending. And there you go. [00:16:37] Speaker B: Thank God for those people. [00:16:38] Speaker A: I'm like, this is wonderful. I love this. At the end they say what the movie is. It's like, perfect. So I've seen a ton of fucking movies that way because no one's going to come and be like, hey, have you seen this? See if I'm bored and high at home or drunk. And I'm like, scrolling Netflix. I'm like, oh, that movie looks cool. Yeah, but I'm married to my wife and she's like, that seems like a cool movie. You know, it'd be even cooler watching the thing we've seen 100 times before. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm sorry, but it's very comfortable. See, it's stressful to even thinking of concept of resting and trying to even sit through like an hour and a half movie. [00:17:32] Speaker A: What's obnoxious is sometimes I'll be on Instagram or TikTok and I'll see a preview for an anime. Someone will stitch together a little short clip of it. I'm like, oh, that seems fucking awesome. And it's like, oh, you just took the best parts of 20 hours of that anime and put it in like two minutes. Thank you. Fuck you. You're a piece of shit. [00:18:01] Speaker B: Spoilers suck. [00:18:03] Speaker A: Well, there's like an anime that I'm watching. It's like my summertime rendering or something like that. And I got into it because I saw the 10th episode fucking down like a clip from that. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Oh, no, babe, no, that's oh my god, I'm so sorry, babe. [00:18:27] Speaker A: So I get into it and it's like one of those that start off slow. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Oh my god. [00:18:32] Speaker A: I'm like, Jesus Christ. [00:18:35] Speaker B: I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been down this road too many times. It hurts. It is not fun. And you do not feel satisfied even though you get closure afterwards. [00:18:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, all I want to do is see that one scene and then get the context for it. And it's like no context is given. [00:19:01] Speaker B: I mean, to be fair, I did come across a few shows that I actually liked from the beginning and have enjoyed since, but those are few and far between. [00:19:10] Speaker A: The one thing that's annoying me right now is there's an anime called Undead Unluck or unluck undead? One of those. And it's coming out once a week, so I have to wait till Thursday for it to come out. [00:19:27] Speaker B: So like how it used to be? [00:19:29] Speaker A: Yeah, like how it fucking used to be. But this is awful because it's so goddamn good. [00:19:35] Speaker B: Yes, I know. And isn't the anticipation wonderful? [00:19:39] Speaker A: No, it is awful. Give me the satisfaction of the end. [00:19:42] Speaker B: But then it'll be over faster. This makes it last longer and you can think about it more. [00:19:48] Speaker A: No, it's so good. I'm this close to just paying, like, the $3 to just go read the fucking manga on Shonen Jump because you can pay $3 and it gives you. [00:20:01] Speaker B: Oh, do you think you could actually read? You should try. Do you want to borrow one of my manga books? [00:20:08] Speaker A: You should try reading manga. Yeah, I'm the one that taught you how to read manga. [00:20:13] Speaker B: No, but don't they have it written in Japanese? [00:20:17] Speaker A: No, I can't fucking read Japanese. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Okay, I was just curious. [00:20:22] Speaker A: I know, like, maybe 100 words. [00:20:25] Speaker B: I was just curious. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Oh, I know that word. That means yes. Oh, yeah, I'm going through fucking duolingo right now. And my wife's like, yeah, you should be able to read like, a pure Japanese. Yeah, they have them in English. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Well, no, I'm just saying it might be something fun to practice with. [00:20:50] Speaker A: No, I'm not even close to that. I'm like a baby that's just learning how to talk. I can say, like, hat, shoe, umbrella, stuff like that. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Yeah, but you know the alphabet, right? [00:21:08] Speaker A: There's not an alphabet. [00:21:10] Speaker B: There's not an alphabet? [00:21:11] Speaker A: Not really. There's like three alphabets. Japanese is weird. It doesn't translate directly straight over. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Oh, no language does to English. No language does. There is so much nuance lost. [00:21:34] Speaker A: In Japanese. The first name comes first and it's like, oh, yeah, but you learn the rules, and the rules stay constant. And how you say words stay constant. You can say them faster and it kind of changes how they sound a little bit. But when you say improper, they sound the exact same. So, yes, they have vowels, they have all that kind of shit, but it sounds not like letters. Yeah, it's fucking weird. [00:22:15] Speaker B: That is weird. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:19] Speaker B: That is so cool. I only know the limitations of my own language, is grammar. That's cool. [00:22:31] Speaker A: Let me see. So you got those vowels going through this is hiragana. There's Katakana and kanji. I know Hiragana and Katakana. No, Kanji. Not at all. And I feel like that's what fucking all anime is just written in. And then when you combine fucking character, it gets even crazier because you can just combine shit into, like, some rigorable mashable. Hi mochi. I was just talking about how you're the cutest cat ever. Hop up, hop up. Hop up. Okay? Or don't. I don't care. Hop up. Well, fuck you, then. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Do you want to be lifted up like a princess? [00:23:35] Speaker A: I'm not lifting you up. You have legs that work. I've seen you jump to amazing heights to get fucking shit that you want. You're an asshole, Mochi. You could easily jump up here, but you're just like, I'm not treated like a princess. Fuck you. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Momo is a princess. Her daddy told her that. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I have way too many fucking times. Hey, Mochi, there's unlimited shrimp that we can go get at Red Lobster. I can go bring you back a whole bunch of unlimited shrimp. [00:24:10] Speaker B: You can take it to go. [00:24:11] Speaker A: No, absolutely not. All right. Onto the next stories, though. So my hero, in a form of a serial killer has emerged in two different places. So over in Las Vegas, one dead and four injured in a Las Vegas shooting of the homeless. So there's a dude know went through. I don't even think they've caught. Um, but, like, a dude came through and shot at a homeless encampment in Vegas on Friday. Officer there's multiple victims. One victim, a male in his 50s, was pronounced dead at the hospital due to his injuries. So it's like, yeah, don't be a. [00:25:15] Speaker B: Fucking so who's going to pay for this? Who's going to pay this hospital bill? [00:25:21] Speaker A: No one. The government, obviously. But the victims were shot by one suspect who remains at large. So this guy got away from it. And then over in La. Your area, three men experiencing homelessness were fatally shot by a potential serial killer in Los Angeles. The victims were all sleeping alone on a sidewalk or in an alley. So the police in Los Angeles say they're searching for a potential serial killer who targeted three men who were experiencing homelessness. Like, you don't have to sugarcoat it. Just homeless pieces of the shit. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Wait, scroll back up a second. [00:26:18] Speaker A: What? [00:26:19] Speaker B: Okay. [00:26:22] Speaker A: What? [00:26:22] Speaker B: I just want to read that one sentence again. [00:26:25] Speaker A: All three victims were sleeping alone? [00:26:26] Speaker B: No, the one above it. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Police in Los Angeles say they're searching for a potential serial killer who targeted three men who are all experiencing homelessness. [00:26:34] Speaker B: What an interesting turn of phrase. Why is it said like that? [00:26:39] Speaker A: Because they don't want to fucking call them what they are, homeless pieces of shit. Police are searching for a potential hero who is out there killing the homeless and cleaning up the fucking streets and doing what the police should have done a long fucking time ago, but not like, kill them, but put them in jail or fucking ship them off to fucking some state that doesn't have a lot of people. Yeah, the first victim was a 37 year old dude killed about 03:00 A.m. On Sunday. The second was 62 years old, killed about 05:00 A.m.. And the third dude was 52, killed around 02:30 A.m.. So, yeah, the dude's fucking doing it early as shit in the morning, he approached the victims on foot, killed them, and fled in the car. And these are the fucking photos. The photo is terrible. It's worse than the Sasquatch photo. [00:27:39] Speaker B: It is a bad photo. It looks more like a squid. Like the glow in the dark ones in minecraft. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass is urging La residents to try and contact any of their relatives experiencing homelessness. How about this? Stop being a homeless piece of shit. It's very fucking simple. It's like, just have someone that you can kind of go to and be like, hey, I'm experiencing a fucking lapse in a place to stay. Can I stay in your couch? Or something like that? Or in a car? This dude's not going out killing people in cars. He's not going out and killing people living on a couch. Just people that are sleeping on sidewalks and shit. And it's like, if you've ever been up to Denver lately, you can't even walk down the sidewalk anymore. It's just piled full of tents, just left and right, and you look up and down, just needles. [00:28:52] Speaker B: So cold recently. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Needles intense. I don't feel bad for them at all. People are like, oh, no, these poor homeless people. No, not at all. [00:29:03] Speaker B: I don't know that I feel bad for them so much as I'm acknowledging what they're experiencing. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I was homeless, and it's like, I fucking got through it. I got a job, got a place. I fucking bought a house and fucking worked my way up. And that was from 18, so twelve years. And, like, most of those years I spent pissing it all away. So it really only took me, like, two. [00:29:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:40] Speaker A: So all you really have to fucking do is get a job. You can remain homeless and just be like, hey, I have a job. And just don't be on the fucking sidewalk. Don't be one of these pieces of shit. When I was homeless, I lived out in the woods. I lived out where people could not find me. And then I fucking packed a backpack and hiked out of the woods and fucking got into town. Walked into town and got the shit I needed to do. Like, literally, I went and collected cans. Like, if you're a homeless dude collecting cans, hey, here's fucking $5 if you're doing shit to make your own situation better. And just like, hey, I have a bunch of fucking felonies, and it's really hard for me to get a job, I get it. And if you're fucking working and not fucking holding a sign being, I need money, give me money, and you're just, like, truly trying to get something for yourself. Yeah, okay, I'll help you out. But most of them are just out there collecting government money, doing fucking nothing to advance society as a whole. And I don't think I should sit here and feel bad for you at all. Am I the villain for this. Am I the asshole? This is a good am I the asshole? I should post this, but am I the asshole for not feeling bad for homeless people at all? [00:31:24] Speaker B: You're welcome to do so. I can't wait to read the comments. [00:31:30] Speaker C: Wait, people have commented no. [00:31:33] Speaker B: If he does so, I want to read the comments. [00:31:35] Speaker A: If I go on reddit and say, am I the asshole for thinking that homeless people are in their situation because they put themselves in that situation and it's not my job to feel bad or give them fucking money or support. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Comments will be interesting because you're going to have very extreme sided either saying yes or saying no. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I might just fucking go up there and put that. I might get fucking banned too. [00:32:02] Speaker B: I'm not stopping you. [00:32:04] Speaker C: Yeah, I think that's dumb. I think some of them are in that situation through their own fault, and some of them aren't. And I mean, quite honestly, would you have been homeless if you were told when you were 17 that, oh, we plan on kicking you out at 18, and we are not going to house you anymore? That way you could have got a job after school or something and saved up and been able to have an apartment to move into when they pulled support from you and you wouldn't have to be homeless. [00:32:39] Speaker A: I turned 18 at maps. I was at the military entrance processing station. And so I wasn't even home when I turned 18. I was in a hotel trying to get into the military. That didn't work out. And I came home and they're like, get out. So I'm like, okay. And I had no problem with it at all. I'm like, okay, cool. It was summer too. It wasn't like a terrible fucking time. And so I had six basket and Robin dollars to my name and a bag full of one day of clothes, and that's it. And I went from there and got into fucking college. Walked to college. Easy. [00:33:36] Speaker B: And then you met me. [00:33:39] Speaker A: Yeah. There was a part of me that wanted to remain homeless because there was no stress in my life at all. I didn't have anything really bad going on. I knew how to get food. I was never hungry. Every Sunday I could go to the local church and they just give me food. No food stamps ever needed. And life is just cheery and awesome. And then I never held a sign, but I've met people that have, and they're like, yeah, I make $200 a day holding a sign. And it's like, okay, let me do the math on that. Over a week, you make $1,000 a week holding a sign? It's like, yeah, $1,000 a week. Yeah, that sounds about right. I spend it on drugs and alcohol. It's like, damn, dude. The only thing that sucks for them is they don't have a job to get into an apartment, but you can go get a hotel for a few nights, cleaning yourself up. But people are misguided and feel bad for homeless people. [00:35:08] Speaker B: It's because of people who take advantage of the system. It just takes one person to ruin it for everybody. [00:35:18] Speaker A: I had homeless friends, and they're like, yeah, no, I'm homeless because I don't want to work. I'm like, okay, that's fine. I'm not going to feel bad for you. I don't expect you to. I'm having a good time. I don't need your money. Just don't go out and attack me for no reason. It's like, yeah, that's fair. I'm not, like, being outwardly mean to homeless people. I'm not like, hey, get a job, you fucking unless they're just being drunk assholes on the street or something. But other than that, if they're just being homeless, I'm not going to pretend like they're invisible. That's what they want. If they have a serious issue, like a serious disability, I feel like it's the state's responsibility to take care of them, to house them and all that stuff. If they don't have any real support system and they have down syndrome or some sort of cerebral palsy and it's really hard for them to fucking get a job, then yeah, I can see, hey, state, it's your responsibility to give them, you know, the bare minimum. You know, you can stick them in an apartment with other people, that's fine. But as the government, it's your responsibility and society's responsibility to take care of these people that can't take care of themselves. Also World War II. Vets fucking help them out too. Fuck it. [00:37:24] Speaker C: That's how I make my money. I take care of my dad. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:31] Speaker C: And I get money from the state. [00:37:34] Speaker A: So yeah, I don't see why we can't just come on out and just help all these fucking people. A lot of them do get help. I have friends that had social workers come over to the house and help them with budgeting and help them with all that stuff. And they couldn't have a job, but cool. Keep doing that. But if you're a person that can work, then get your ass to work. So I have to say on that. On to the next story. Derek Chauvin, if you remember, he's a police officer that kneeled on George Floyd's neck and upset all the black people was stabbed 22 times in federal prison. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Thank the fucking Lord fucking time. Good God. At the bare minimum, capitalistic punishment must be brought back. [00:38:46] Speaker A: Oh, no. Derek Chauvin survived. [00:38:49] Speaker B: What? [00:38:49] Speaker A: Seriously? Yeah. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Oh, my God. He didn't have the grace to die. What a fucking asshole. [00:38:55] Speaker A: Why would he die? Why do you hate Derek Chauvin so much? [00:39:03] Speaker B: Because I'm allowed. [00:39:09] Speaker A: Honestly. I love watching these police interaction videos. Know? A police officer comes up, hi, I'm blah, blah, blah, with blah, blah, blah, the reason I'm pulling. And they're like, I don't have to answer any of your questions. I. Want my lawyer. And they're just being an obstinate asshole. And it's like that officer pulled you over for something you were doing that was wrong, whether it be the tent being too dark on your car, he's pulling you over for an investigation. I'm not saying lick the boots of fucking cops, but a little bit of fucking just, hey, how are you doing? And not fucking getting all aggressive from the job. [00:39:51] Speaker C: Have to volunteer too much information. You can watch what you say. [00:39:57] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'm not saying fucking give them your entire fucking life story. I'm just saying politely decline to give them your entire life story. But my favorite videos are the ones that are the free citizens or whatever. [00:40:15] Speaker B: Oh, the constitutionalists. [00:40:18] Speaker C: They're not constitutionalists. [00:40:19] Speaker A: They're not constitutionalists, but they're the ones. [00:40:22] Speaker C: That are like they're sovereign citizens. [00:40:23] Speaker A: Sovereign citizens. That's it. [00:40:25] Speaker B: What the fuck is that? [00:40:26] Speaker A: So they think they're just citizens of the world, and, like, the United States laws do not apply to them. Unfortunately, that fucking law got overturned, like, 400 years ago. So it was before the Constitution and before the Bill of Rights and all that, they just had, like, a bunch of wild, random laws just out there, and sovereign citizens was a thing, but then the Constitution came and wiped that all out, and like, yeah, we're fucking scrapping all that shit. And now here we go. [00:41:07] Speaker B: Okay, from an outsider's point of view, I did not know this little mini culture community governality group existed. This is so cute. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Yes. [00:41:25] Speaker B: It that's not quite the word I want to use, but it's amusing to see. Also not the word I want, but it's there. [00:41:32] Speaker A: Yeah. I have to deal with cops, state troopers all the time. Being a truck driver, they'll set up a roadside, and you just have to pull in there, and they're just doing their job. That's what they have to do, making sure that trucks are safe, because I've seen some fucking wildly unsafe trucks out there on the road. I'm like, oh, okay. I've seen trailers burnt to the ground because one truck driver did something stupid. [00:42:04] Speaker B: But you're dealing with the highway patrol. I feel like cops are like, aren't they different? [00:42:11] Speaker A: I mean, I also deal with cops as well. I deal with sheriff's officers, all kinds of shit. And I deliver their tires, so I see them all the time. I'm like, oh, hey, officer, how are you doing? And they're not out there. [00:42:30] Speaker B: Well, that's because you know them. How did you feel the first couple of times you had to talk to them? [00:42:35] Speaker A: They're fine. Being a homeless dude, I dealt with them all the time. In fact, I had a cop be like, hey, where do you need to go? And he just gave me a right to where I fucking needed to go. Wasn't a dick or nothing. He's just like, hey, it's dangerous out here. There was a cop that fucking caught me speeding 100%, had me dead to rights. I know he got me. I pulled over and he's like, hey, bud, there's moose out I was going through Montana and he's like, dude, there's moose out here. And I just don't want to have to clean up your car and that moose will kill you. So just if you can slow it down so I don't have to clean up your dead body off the road, that'd be great. Like, thank you, officer. And he just let me go. That was it. Nothing bad or malicious or I want to fucking take away all your money. There are a few bad cops, and I will say that, yes, there are some fucking fucked up cops out there that do bad fucking things. I'm sure there's entire departments that are corrupt, but just a little bit of fucking common courtesy. They are people. Any fucking job you work in, if you come in and act the way that some people act, like towards like say you're like a wait like a waitress, like Courtney back when you were doing that. And someone comes in, I would like this. Get it to me fast. Now. This better not be fucking overcooked, you piece of shit. You just kind of want to spit in their fucking food. You want to kind of ruin their fucking day. [00:44:26] Speaker C: Quite honestly, I do what I'm paid to do. I hated it. Yeah, that's why. [00:44:42] Speaker A: So but yeah, that's it, Jimmy. Just kind of show a cop a little bit of courtesy. Yes or no, sir? And obviously sometimes you won't get away with it. Sometimes we'll get a ticket and sometimes they'll just be like, okay, you have a great day. Just be safe. That's it. Onto the next story. How much time we have? Mexico's minimum wage will rise 20% next year. They're getting a big old pay raise to 1425 a day. [00:45:21] Speaker C: Wow. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Is that more money in their economy? [00:45:28] Speaker A: No, that's why they come over here. [00:45:32] Speaker B: Still. Any change is a good change. [00:45:42] Speaker A: Yeah, they have like pesos over there. So it's the equivalent of $14.25 a day. So that's why Americans can go down to Mexico and fucking live like goddamn kings down there. It's crazy. You can go down to know and if you have like a $1,000, you can bribe cops. You can do all and Mexico does do bribes. They won't say it, but if you do get caught by a cop down in Mexico and he's going to take you to jail, he'll take a bribe. So if you have cash on you, you can most likely get out of fucking any kind of trouble you're ever going to be in. So just know that. [00:46:40] Speaker B: Oh my. [00:46:44] Speaker A: Yeah. About one third of Mexico's registered workers earning the minimum wage, which is a dollar 75 an hour. So yeah. Fucking. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Wait. So it's our equivalent to $15. [00:47:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:06] Speaker C: Or whatever. [00:47:07] Speaker A: A day. [00:47:09] Speaker C: A day. [00:47:10] Speaker A: Or a day. And then people wonder why they come here for money. Because it's like, hey, you can go over there fucking earn $10 a day working, or come over here, earn $100 a day. So one day over in America is worth ten days over there. [00:47:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:41] Speaker A: So it's like one year over here is ten years over there. [00:47:48] Speaker C: Yeah. It's so weird. I had someone like one of the guys I worked with, basically his daughter was able to go to private school in yeah. And shit like that. And he was like a and like he'd actually already bought, like a house here in California too. [00:48:11] Speaker A: Mexicans are great people. I had a friend from Ghana, Africa. He was working with me in North Dakota. He bought about 40 acres and was in the process of getting a house built on it for his family. Had his son here. Everything was going really good. And I think he moved back home and now has a sweet place over there, ton of money, and he's going to retire early. That's what a lot of fucking people here do. They'll get on a plane and hop up. [00:48:58] Speaker B: Okay, so in 2018, the minimum wage per day in Mexico was let me pull my calculator back up was $5.12 a day. This is how much they've increased since 2018. Like, this is fucking cool still. [00:49:15] Speaker A: It's fucking nothing. [00:49:17] Speaker B: It's not nothing. To them, this is a huge increase. [00:49:20] Speaker A: But this is why I always support Mexicans coming over here to get a better life. Because they'll come over here, get their green card, and then sponsor one of their other family members. Come over here because it's not easy or cheap to get over here. It comes at a very high risk. I know, Mochi. You're the cutest. Cutest. That's why they'll run across the border. They don't necessarily have a car. And the cartels over there, like, they have crazy violence. It's like, yeah, come to America. It's much fucking mean. No, you're just the cutest little kitten ever. But people don't see that. And the US government's like, those dirty Mexicans are coming over here to take your jobs. It's like, no, they're coming over here to work manual labor fucking quickly, more efficiently than fucking normal white people can fucking do it for a cheaper fucking rate on top of it all. Yeah. They are a better fucking machine altogether. And yeah, they don't speak English. Oh, wow. English is a very fucking difficult language to learn. Go learn. Some. [00:50:52] Speaker C: Know. So I have forgotten all the Spanish I've learned. [00:51:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Because you're not around it anymore. [00:51:03] Speaker C: Yeah. Once I moved from California, like, I had no exposure. [00:51:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:10] Speaker C: And I forgot what little I know. [00:51:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:18] Speaker A: All right, now time for one more story before we get on to Am I the Asshole? And relationship advice. Thurston county candidate who didn't vote for himself loses by one vote. Like, oh, that's got to fucking suck. But Thurson County, Washington, following a hand. Recount voters in Rayner have elected Ryan Roth to the city's council by a margin of one vote. [00:51:55] Speaker B: People are allowed to vote for themselves? [00:51:57] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:51:58] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:51:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Why would you not vote for yourself? [00:52:02] Speaker B: I don't think you should be voting if you're in the run. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Yeah, you can vote for yourself. You can vote for whoever you want. [00:52:08] Speaker B: That's weird. [00:52:10] Speaker A: It's like you can vote your own thing on reddit too. [00:52:15] Speaker B: What? That's lame. [00:52:18] Speaker A: But, yeah, ryan Roth fucking got, you know, beat out damon green. And Green said he didn't feel comfortable and he thought it was narcissistic to vote for himself, so he didn't. [00:52:31] Speaker B: Yeah, it is narcissistic. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, 100%. What he said 100%. [00:52:46] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's like but now you don't have to go fucking work for the city council, which is lame. You're not winning like, the governor or anything. You're winning city council still. It's lame. But yeah, Roth fucking voted for himself. That's why he like, that's got to just hurt. [00:53:18] Speaker B: That's got to just no, it's Nicky and underhanded. [00:53:22] Speaker A: No, it's one vote. It's for a nothing position. Like if the position paid like a million dollars a year, then yeah. [00:53:38] Speaker B: I would vote for someone else before I voted for myself. [00:53:44] Speaker A: Well, whatever. Damon Green's gonna fucking run again next time. Third time's a charm. [00:53:51] Speaker B: I wish him luck. [00:53:54] Speaker A: I bet he's going to vote for himself this time. But yeah, last time there was a tie, it was decided by coin toss. [00:54:06] Speaker B: That's adorable. [00:54:07] Speaker A: I know, right? [00:54:11] Speaker C: Oh, my god. Did you see anything about the debate? [00:54:15] Speaker A: What debate? [00:54:17] Speaker C: The one between DeSantos and newsom. [00:54:21] Speaker A: Nope. Don't even know who those people are. That's tron's whole thing to know who politicians are. [00:54:29] Speaker C: Really? [00:54:30] Speaker A: I don't even know who I barely know who AOC is. [00:54:36] Speaker C: So DeSantis is the Florida governor. [00:54:40] Speaker A: Oh, my. [00:54:45] Speaker C: And then newsom is the California governor. [00:54:48] Speaker A: Oh, that's why I don't know him. He's a lame boy. I bet your governor fucking lost to Florida's governor, though. I don't even have to see the fucking debate to know that's what Florida like. Probably put him on the ground. He's like, ha, loser, you're gay. He's like, I'm not gay. He's like, yeah you are. You're a fairy boy. He's like, what? He's like, dumb and your mom is ugly. He's like, and then lost. That's why I imagine happened. And then they fucking did some stupid tongue and dance and then like, okay, let's go fuck children and sniff coke off of stripper tits. That's all they do. So now on to am I the asshole? By throw RA pube? Am I the asshole for asking my college classmate about her pubic hair? So last weekend at college, my roommate invited a bunch of people into our dorm, a mix of girls and guys. We were all drinking. And somehow the conversation got to a point where one of the girls who I know were not close friends, but we definitely had a friendly acquaintance relationship, at least until this incident asked me if I was circumcised. I felt the question was invasive and personal, so I responded, what's your pubic hair situation? Trying to give her a taste of her own medicine so that she would see how it feels to be asked an invasive question about your private area. And my question was less personal than hers. It was about a styling decision which was done on your own volition and is easily changeable, as opposed to something you had no say and no way to change and hopefully realize that she had overstepped the line. Instead, she has flushed and ran out the dorm room. Now my roommate is mad at me and wants me to apologize to her, but I don't think I did anything wrong here, and she doesn't like having me ask her questions about her private area. She shouldn't be asking questions about mine. Was I in the wrong here? [00:57:14] Speaker B: Absolutely not. Not the asshole. [00:57:17] Speaker A: Okay? Dude, you are a dense fucking college boy. She wanted to know about your dick because she wanted to fucking put that thing in her mouth, you dumb asshole. You should have answered the question by saying, do you want to see? Do you want to find out? We can go to your dome room, and I can show you personally. And then, bam. You would have gotten fucking pussy nerd. Let me see what the comments say. I'm not the asshole. She's the one that took the conversation in that direction. Ridiculous of her to get upset when you play the same game, not the asshole. Although I am assuming her question was out of context. You could have easily embarrassed her without shooting back like this. A simple I don't think that's any year business would have turned a much bigger effect as she wouldn't have anything to turn herself into the victim with. [00:58:29] Speaker B: Nah, I'm okay with Op set. I thought it was fucking hilarious. No, she fucking deserved it. [00:58:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:39] Speaker B: Nah, she deserved that shit, okay? [00:58:42] Speaker A: I mean, the fact that she got upset that someone asked about her pubic situation is bullshit. Oh, no, fucking bullshit. [00:58:54] Speaker B: She's just embarrassed, and she's trying to. [00:58:55] Speaker A: Cover it up as dudes. We'll talk about our pubes all the time. We'll get up on stage and talk about our pubes. Well, yes, we don't care. It's always the same fucking situation with every fucking dude. If you want to know what it is, here it is. When you're younger, when you hit, like, 18, in your late teens, early 20s, you try and shave until you nick your scrotum, and then you never do it again, ever, for any fucking reason whatsoever. You never take a razor anywhere close to your dick unless you're like, a porn star. [00:59:38] Speaker B: It was gross. When you shaved it, it was gross. [00:59:42] Speaker A: I mean, it was kind of fun, but never again. I nicked my scrotum it bled too much for my comfort. [00:59:52] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sure it did. [00:59:56] Speaker A: I'm expecting my balls to spill out of my scrotum. I'm like screaming, having a bad time, and yeah, never again. Now I'm an adult and I have adult fucking pubes. And leave them alone. [01:00:16] Speaker B: They're there for a reason. [01:00:18] Speaker A: So now for relationship advice by throw it found fiance's, 26, male, Christmas gift, and I'm disappointed. 26, female, he sorry I was drinking beer. He probably thought he was being clever, hiding it with the gifts I had got for my friends already. It would have been clever, except it was in a different bag than the store I bought it from. So not knowing or realizing what it might not realizing it might be his gift, I looked and I saw it's. Perfume. I'm so disappointed. I very explicitly told him what I wanted. I wanted either the Lego orchid okay. Or an oversized anime sweater blanket. Yeah, I wear perfume, but his mother gets me a different bottle each year, so I literally have enough perfume to last me ten years. I never asked for perfume. This couldn't be for anyone else because he told me he isn't buying gifts for anyone else this year because we bought a house earlier in the year. He told me exactly what he wanted and that's exactly what I ordered online. So why didn't he do the same I'm so disappointed edit? Because I'm seeing the same question a lot. No, this is not a gift for his mother. We already gotten her a gift. She gets discounts and free perfumes. No, she wouldn't have sent her gift to him. We would see her on Christmas. So this literally wouldn't make sense. It's not a gift for someone else. He told me I am literally the only person he's gifting this year. Even his family gifts are ones from me that I'm tacking his name on. No, he is not the type to set up a fake gift. We only do one present per year. And no, I'm not going to return his gift and get him something he doesn't like. [01:02:35] Speaker B: Yeah, that's not how relationships work. [01:02:38] Speaker A: Okay, girl. How do I say this? [01:02:45] Speaker B: Okay, keep reading. She still needs to answer questions. [01:02:49] Speaker A: Update. [01:02:50] Speaker B: Okay. [01:02:52] Speaker A: Wow. Okay. I expected a few people either tell me to talk to them or help think some ways I can make it clear perfume is not a wanted gift. Why not buy them myself? I totally can. But as an adult, there are things you want and things you need. I don't need these things. Hence them going on the list. Why do you do lists? Because my fiance is bad at gifts. He got me a phone charger one year. He felt horrible. That's what he got me. And continued to feel bad for months. Even after I'd say things like, no, it's great. I really needed it, so we started doing lists. I think that's why I got a bit frustrated because he asked me, why do you make a list if you're going to ignore it anyway? And here's the point I think some people missed. I wouldn't be disappointed if he got me something that wasn't on my list but was still my interest. I wouldn't be disappointed if it was something out of the realm of my interest as long as I could tell, thought and effort went into it. Perfume is not my interest. And in fact, I've already had many discussions with him on how I'll never want another bottle because of his mother. What's worse is that it's the brand that his mother has got me before, and I never wear it because he's told me it wasn't one of his favorites. How do I know that? [01:04:37] Speaker C: He might eat her or something. [01:04:39] Speaker A: He might what? [01:04:41] Speaker C: I don't know if it's not something she's even remotely interested in. I think he might be cheating, especially because she's already told him she hates it. How can he be that stupid to get it? [01:04:59] Speaker A: Men are stupid. That's the whole point of it. Men are dumb as fuck. [01:05:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. She hasn't talked to him. Just fucking talk to him. Stop asking for all these opinions and strangers and go solve your own problems. [01:05:14] Speaker A: I have an idea. Op, I doubt you're ever going to hear this podcast. I doubt you're ever going to hear this advice. But if you do, heed this one, take his gift and fucking wrap it in and give it to one of your other friends because it's mixed in. It's cleverly hidden in with your gifts that you're getting to your other friends. So just fucking just toss it into one of your other friends and then he's going to freak out because his gift to you is not there. [01:05:54] Speaker B: This is not how relationships work. This is weird. [01:05:59] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [01:06:00] Speaker A: I mean, like when he goes to fucking wrap him because obviously he's going. [01:06:03] Speaker C: To wrap him and talk to him. [01:06:04] Speaker B: For all she knows, it's not a present for her. She's making assumptions. She's making big assumptions. He needs to talk to her partner. This isn't fair to either of them. They're not talking to each other. [01:06:22] Speaker C: Oh, no one can suggest being reasonable and actually communicating with someone. I mean, what would happen to our romance book? [01:06:38] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's too late. And wouldn't you know it, this morning he's gone. He's home from work and he goes, where's the wrapping stuff? I want to wrap your gift. Five minutes later, the perfume is gone and there's a gift under the tree with my name. So on Christmas Day, I'll open the perfume, be happy, and then be happy when I receive another bottle from his mother. Then I'll talk to him and say, I really appreciate your gift, but I think I'm set on perfume after this. Yeah. [01:07:14] Speaker C: Return it. [01:07:16] Speaker A: He was dumb for hiding it in plain sight to where you'd find it. But I really hope that he's just gagging on you and then just like, when you're out to work or doing something, like, he swaps it with something that looks exactly the same, like a wedding ring. [01:07:47] Speaker B: So is Op staying or not? [01:07:49] Speaker A: Oh, she's definitely staying. [01:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I wonder what people I wonder. Her last paragraph is very interesting and I want to read those comments. No, in the update. [01:08:05] Speaker C: But he wants to wait and get our reaction now before she updates. [01:08:10] Speaker A: Let's see if there's even an update. [01:08:17] Speaker C: No, there's no update. [01:08:22] Speaker A: There's no update? Not yet. You wanted a fucking Lego orchid, which I don't even know where the fuck to get. [01:08:45] Speaker B: Was. [01:08:45] Speaker C: You can look it up. [01:08:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm assuming they shared an Amazon list or something. She was talking about lists and it sounded like they both had access to it. [01:08:54] Speaker C: It's really fucking easy to find. [01:08:57] Speaker A: Yeah, or oversized animal blanket mean. [01:09:04] Speaker C: Exactly. [01:09:05] Speaker B: I do highly recommend blanket sweaters. They're amazing. [01:09:08] Speaker A: I mean, it is your fiance, but what if and you just bought a house, and what if he got, like, the bottle of perfume, put it somewhere where he knew you would find it, and then Christmas Day, you open up the fucking perfume because you're like it's going to be and it's like a fucking ring. How fucking amazing. And how much of an asshole are you going to feel like on that day? Like, I'm going to fucking save this. That way I can come back on Christmas to see what actually fucking happens. We're getting married or some shit like that. [01:09:58] Speaker B: I mean, it doesn't matter to Op anymore. [01:10:01] Speaker A: Yeah, she's fine with it. [01:10:04] Speaker B: Yeah, no, she found closure. I want to read what those comments were. [01:10:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm not going to go fucking hunting for comments. [01:10:10] Speaker B: I know. [01:10:12] Speaker A: I'll send you the fucking link of this. [01:10:14] Speaker B: Someone guided her through her journey and. [01:10:17] Speaker A: She'S reached her it's uncomfortable conversation time. You need to be very clear with each other. You like to be given something you've asked for and that you've been given something off the list that makes you feel as though you got nothing. Everyone has allowed their feelings on gifts, but how you feel and how you want to know your feelings is a different matter. So, yeah, there's nothing wrong for asking for what you want. [01:10:48] Speaker B: There isn't. I get what I want. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah, but she's wanted a Lego orchid or an anime fucking thing. [01:11:02] Speaker B: I want to see what a Lego orchid looks like. [01:11:05] Speaker A: Like Lego orchids. [01:11:06] Speaker B: I have no idea what that looks like. I require a visual stimulus. [01:11:12] Speaker A: But that's it for this week. After this, I'm going to drop the stand up clip right here. Or I'll forget. I don't know. I'm going to try really hard not to forget. Thank you all so much for being here. Sorry. We will be back in normal schedules tomorrow. Mochi, we're going to go. We'll make beanies so I have to make sure I wake up on time to get to salad or bus to go make beanies. So that's going to be fun. Thank you all and follow me. Instagram, Twitter, all that bullshit. Alex a truck. Bye bye. [01:12:00] Speaker D: But I never wanted to be a father. I never thought I was going to be a father ever. And a few years ago, my wife brought me three little babies. I mean, they're cats, so they're not humans. It's fine. I didn't fuck up. But I do enjoy a cream pie just as much as the next person. So good. Just like without the condom. It's like, oh, this is a mistake. It's like having like a giant bowl of ice cream right when you get to bed. It's like, oh, I'm going to fucking regret this in the morning. But right now it's awesome. Thank you. But yeah, I have three cats. And it's fucking awesome. Every time I bring up cats being like my children like real parents. I have a real child. And I'm like, yeah, but I do too. You can do drugs around your kids. You can fuck in front of your kids. And your kids are cute. I'm like, mine. Mine are shitty kids. And my budy know comes up to me one day and he calls me Thomas. I don't know why he does. He is like an ex meth head. So he just calls me Thomas. I think he forgets my name and just made one up for me. He's like, hey, Thomas. And so I'm like, what's up, Elsie? He's like, so my daughter peed in my shoe. And I'm like, Dude, what? He's like, yeah, no, I caught her hang in my shoe. And I'm like, how did she do this? He's like, she squatted over my shoe and it peed right into it. Did it miss a drop? And I have waterproof shoes, so it held all the pee. I'm like, so what did you do? He's like, well, I drained it out and put the shoe on that's fatherhood. I'm like, yeah, fucking condoms next time, dude. And then he had like two more kids. And I'm like, oh, dude, the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you have more kids? I hope they all be in your shoes, like every day. I hope you wake up and you're like, fucking piss shoes again. Just knock them over and just water plants with them. There we go. Just be able to get in there and be like, oh, fuck. And every time I see a parent, especially my parents, they're like, fuck. Jesus Christ. It's you. My parents all live in California, so I don't ever see them because I hate going to anybody from California here. No good. Yeah, that guy especially not he's from Wisconsin. Doesn't even know what California is. He's like, Where is California? Wisconsin doesn't have, like, geography lessons here's. The different types of cheeses. And that's it. It's like, well, what about math? It's like, you're in Wisconsin, dude. You don't need math. You can count to five cows. That's all you need. It's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. It's like, yeah, Jesus Christ too. Learn your religion. There's only like one town in Wisconsin, too, and that's Appleton. You from Appleton? I've lived there. Exactly. That's the only place. It's like you go to Nebraska and it's know. No one knows little. Like when I say I'm from, they're like, Denver. I'm like, close, I guess. You know, I'm glad you know towns. But I'm also a truck driver. And I was driving my truck today and every day I'm insanely mad. I have, like, road rage. Like insane road rage. Anybody else? [01:15:59] Speaker B: Yes. [01:16:00] Speaker D: Just the woman. Okay. You're the one causing the problem. I can already tell. Yeah, because my wife does the same thing. She cuts somebody off and they honk. And she's like, what an asshole. But I have so much just road rage. People don't know how to obey stop signs. And I watched the movie The Purge. And I'm like, I don't want a day to just kill people. I just want, like a punch card. Once a year, I can pull someone out of their fucking car and beat the shit out of them. Or at least make the attempt because there's going to be, like a time where I try that and they get out. They're huge. I'm like, oh, no, dwayne Johnson shit. And he beats the shit out of me. And it's like, that wasn't Dwayne Johnson. That was a woman fuck. It's like also your wife. I'm like, oh, no, it's on fucking YouTube. No, I hope no one sees it. My mom calls me, hey, see you again. I saw you got beat up by your wife. It's like, yeah, mom. It's like you're a disappointment. I'm like, is this your yearly reminder? I'm like, yeah. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, bitch. But anybody here excited for Christmas? I mean, I got I'm fed. Christmas is like that one holiday where you're like, I might get something cool or I might get more socks. Which is also cool because I tell everyone, just give me fucking socks. Crew cut or calves. None of that ankle sock bullshit. Never. He's back there with wool socks. Give me wool socks or nothing. I'm from North Dakota too. Yeah, you understand that? Negative 40, bring your car battery inside bullshit. People are like, oh, it's cold out here. I'm like, nah, this ain't shit. I have to chain up on the side of the road when it's negative 20 and people are buzzing by me at 60 miles an hour wearing safety vests. I'm like, hello, I'm right here, and we're trying to kill you and do you a favor. I'm like, thank you. You care about me. I feel loved by the people that want me dead. But that's all the time I got. Thank you all so much. [01:18:35] Speaker B: My brother. Used to drive truck, and we would always have, like, comfort movies. The movies that just, like, you've seen a million times and just make you feel better. Like, mine is Princess Bride. I can watch that movie anytime, any place. Just makes me feel better. And I was like, Caleb, what's your comfort movie? And he's like, Mad Max. Why? And he was like, Because you can just ram anybody you see on the road, and nobody gives a that's that's a choice. That's a choice.