The Forgotten Ep

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. Your boy Alex the truck is still alive. Another day kicking. Of course. I am here with my wife, not the truck. And Courtney from across the. The land. [00:00:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:00:20] Speaker A: So I. I just want to say it is Girl Scout cookie season. Like, the girl. The Girl Scout cookies are back. Like, I went to Safeway today and I saw them and I'm just like. And like, the second we got done with shopping, I beelined it out there. [00:00:47] Speaker C: You did? [00:00:47] Speaker A: And, you know, they thought I was gonna walk straight past. I walk right up. I'm like, give me some cookies. And it's adorable because, you know, like, these cookies are this much. And these cookies are this much. I'm like, oh, that's so cute. You know that? But the mother has to do like, all the work every single time. [00:01:17] Speaker C: Well, yeah, they're what, like five, six? [00:01:20] Speaker A: No idea. [00:01:21] Speaker C: I also don't know how big is a child when it's five? [00:01:29] Speaker A: It depends. [00:01:30] Speaker C: That's. Yeah, quite honestly, it definitely depends. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Yeah, some kids are just like, super. Like, they look old. [00:01:41] Speaker A: It's like, you know, congratulations, you're an old sort soul. It's like the. The miniature horses that look like they have, like, the spirit of a, you know, murdered Victorian child in them. Do you none of you know what I'm talking about? [00:02:02] Speaker C: No. What the Are you talking about? [00:02:05] Speaker A: Victorian looking horse? Miniature. God damn it. Miniature horse that looks like it has a spirit of a murdered child. What? [00:02:24] Speaker C: What the. [00:02:25] Speaker A: There we go. [00:02:30] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I can't see this. Oh, my God. How is that accurate? What the. How is that accurate? [00:02:41] Speaker A: There you go. [00:02:41] Speaker C: Like some AI. That's. The hat makes it so much worse. Like, really. [00:02:51] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:02:54] Speaker A: It's a old fucking post on, like, Twitter or whatever. And I'm obsessed with this therapy horse that looks like it has the soul of a murdered Victorian era child. And it is very accurate. [00:03:11] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Like, I fully expected you to pull up like a rocking horse or some. Not this. [00:03:19] Speaker A: The. The hat makes it all the bunch better. [00:03:22] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:03:24] Speaker A: Yeah, just. Boom. [00:03:26] Speaker C: Jesus Christ. [00:03:27] Speaker A: And I love the baby. That's like, what the. [00:03:30] Speaker C: Yeah, the baby is very uncertain and. [00:03:32] Speaker A: The dog is like, I can take this. This. [00:03:35] Speaker C: It's a dog. It doesn't give a. He's just happy to be there. [00:03:41] Speaker A: I don't. I don't remember how I got onto this. [00:03:44] Speaker C: I don't know how you got here either, but I'm pleased with the outcome. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Like. Like, sometimes, like, I. I remember, like, old memes just like, some member berries coming through. What? [00:03:56] Speaker C: Can I have my drink? [00:03:57] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:03:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sorry. I finished the other one a lot faster than I thought I would, and I forgot to bring a cup of water, so. [00:04:06] Speaker A: Yeah, my wife just sucks down our beers quick. [00:04:08] Speaker C: These aren't the beers. These are the real. The real crown thingies. [00:04:12] Speaker A: The crown royals. [00:04:13] Speaker C: Did I say it backwards? [00:04:14] Speaker A: You did. [00:04:15] Speaker C: I did my best. [00:04:17] Speaker A: I mean, like, I already drank all my beers before the podcast even started. [00:04:21] Speaker C: I noticed. [00:04:22] Speaker A: I'm like, oh, wait, this one's still half full. [00:04:27] Speaker C: Is it still cold? [00:04:28] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:04:29] Speaker C: Okay. Because if you drink it warm, it wouldn't matter. [00:04:34] Speaker A: It's a twisted tea. [00:04:36] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. The seltzer is always. Tastes fine at whatever temperature you want. [00:04:40] Speaker A: I mean, you can fucking heat it up and it's like, oh, just warm tea. [00:04:44] Speaker C: Like, oh, my God. Have you ever had. Have you ever had mead? When it's heated up, it is okay. Mead's good cold, but heated up, it is fantastic. [00:04:55] Speaker A: I've never had hot alcohol. [00:04:59] Speaker C: Okay. I like my meat hot, and I like my sake hot. [00:05:03] Speaker A: Yeah, neither of those. I don't. I don't want. I don't. I'm a weird guy. I do not like warm liquids. [00:05:12] Speaker C: There's nothing wrong with that. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Like my soup, you know, I would rather it be, like, cold soup. Like, gazpacho. [00:05:20] Speaker C: Gazpacho soup is delicious. [00:05:22] Speaker A: Well, like. Like, I'm sure you both you girls love, you know, a good hot soup, you know, goes and burns your tongue. You're like, ow, that's great. [00:05:31] Speaker C: I don't know. I've mixed. I like stews, I like things that I can chew in the soup, but I don't like it when it's just like, a straight puree. I had a lot of tomato soup growing up. It's kind of gross now that I'm an adult, unfortunately. [00:05:43] Speaker A: Like, what do you think, Courtney? [00:05:47] Speaker B: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. [00:05:50] Speaker A: It's my favorite because I can see when she is not paying attention. And I feel like a teacher in a classroom, and I like. I call on the student that's like, not paying attention. Like, what do you think? They're like, oh, shit, we were talking about. [00:06:06] Speaker C: Okay, it happens soup, it starts to taste like ketchup and not in a good way. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Like, really? [00:06:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Give me a tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. [00:06:20] Speaker C: Okay. That's literally the way I have it. [00:06:22] Speaker B: And quite honestly, I've never really had it as. I've had it more as, like, a creamy soup where I've added cream or milk, and I've had it with a grilled cheese sandwich. [00:06:32] Speaker C: Usually, isn't it just like dipping pizza sticks? [00:06:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it's like a marinara at that point. [00:06:39] Speaker C: It's just pizza pizza. Yeah, but with more butter. [00:06:44] Speaker A: That's great. It's so unhealthy for you. Like, if a doctor, you know, is sitting next to me, you know, watching me stuff my face with some of the. That I eat, they would be appalled. Like, dude, don't eat that. That's not food. I'm like, another pop Tart straight out of the sleeve is like, dude, can you not? I mean, that's why I don't go to doctors, because anytime I do, they're like, they. They. They shame me. [00:07:17] Speaker C: Well, they have to tell you this stuff. Like, they're obligated to be like, oh, you're at risk for this now you're at risk for that. No, they are, like, obligated to say that they're not there to shame you. They're giving you information. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Like, the last physical I got, they're like, you need to lose 10 pounds in two years. Otherwise we're gonna have, like, you know, give you a sleep study. [00:07:43] Speaker C: You get a sleep study for free. [00:07:46] Speaker A: Well, I. I assume my company would pay for it. [00:07:49] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I thought, quite honestly, now that I'm my precaution, I really don't need a sleep study anymore. The neurologist also brought that up as something we could try. [00:08:00] Speaker A: I mean, like, I feel like you could just record your sleep and, you know, just like, put like a little tripod up and just, you know, like, kind of fast forward it. Do like a. Like a time lapse of you sleeping and record, like, the audio of you sleeping and then get everything you need. [00:08:20] Speaker C: That's how you think a sleep study works? [00:08:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:24] Speaker C: That is what happens in just that. Okay, so you're forced to stay up for a certain amount of. Okay, so you can't do it at home. You have to be at their clinic. And so they forced you to stay up for a certain amount of time to make sure you get sleepy. And then they hook you up with a bunch of electrodes, and then you sleep with the electrodes on. So. So it's not just videoing. Like, there's like, stuff, like, taped to your skin. [00:08:48] Speaker A: I. I think that doesn't do anything. [00:08:50] Speaker C: It does. It's is. It's measuring the elect. It's measuring how electricity is moving through. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Your body while I sleep. They're going to make there's nothing moving through this guy's body. Not a single thought in his head. [00:09:05] Speaker C: The only reason we can move anything, anything in our body is due to electricity. Electricity is always ongoing ATP. And what is the mitochondria? [00:09:19] Speaker A: The powerhouse. [00:09:21] Speaker B: House of the cell. [00:09:22] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:09:24] Speaker A: Now Courtney's paying attention. She's like, I'm gonna be a good student for the rest of this podcast. [00:09:29] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:09:30] Speaker A: Yes, Mochi, I told you. After the podcast, you will get treats. It on Saturdays. I give all the kitties treats. It's Saturday. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Oh my. [00:09:46] Speaker A: And like, they will remind me. They will come up and do some very cute stuff and be like, look at me. Look how cute I am today. Because I can, you know, keep a. What? Like, they, they know the time. They know what day it is. [00:10:05] Speaker C: Of course they do. [00:10:07] Speaker A: And it annoys me. [00:10:08] Speaker C: Do you want to know how animals tell time? [00:10:11] Speaker A: They look at the clock. [00:10:13] Speaker C: No. So you're. So they tell time by how faint your scent gets in their area. Because when they're, when they're scent, when you're in the decreasing amount of your scent reaches a specific time. That's usually when you return from work. And so they learn to tell time by how quickly they lose your scent in the house. [00:10:39] Speaker A: That's weird. [00:10:40] Speaker C: Not. Animals are much more focused with their scent than they are with their eyes. It's kind of sad how weak our noses are. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Well, Mochi's nose is always wet. [00:10:53] Speaker C: Yeah. The number of people who bring their cat into the vet because their nose is dry or as wet is mind boggling. [00:11:03] Speaker A: I. I love dumb people. You know, it like, it guarantees that I will have a higher status and ranking later on in life because all these dumb people will, like, get their Darwin award and die twice. [00:11:22] Speaker C: Twice I've had a client bring in their cat for, and I quote bloodlust twice. The first time the cat got out and caught a bird, and after that, the kitty always wanted to go outside. And so the owner wanted to know if there was a way to decrease the cat's blood lot bloodlust so it wouldn't want to go outside anymore. And like, I took an appointment. I was like, there's no way in the hell this is ever going to happen again. People cannot be this stupid twice. And it happened twice. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:11:55] Speaker C: Like, it's twice. Like, they got a cat. Cats hunt things. Cats hunt things. [00:12:09] Speaker A: I mean, humans are more of a killer of birds than cats ever were. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Cats are domesticated and feral. Cats are, are play a very big role in the. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Well, like the passenger Pigeon. Yeah. How many passenger pigeons were there before they went extinct? There is 3 billion passenger pigeons. [00:12:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:40] Speaker A: By 1914, the last remaining pigeon would die. A commercial exploitation on pigeon meat on a massive scale and a loss of habitat. Yeah. And we would capture them by taking a pigeon and like, you know, putting it like on a stool and like, like tying. It's like foot to like a stool or some like that. And it would flap and like, the rest of the pigeons would think that there's food. They'd all come down and then we'd just throw a net over them all and just like, there you go. That's where the term stool pigeon comes from. You know, just like somebody that betrays somebody else. You stool pigeon. [00:13:29] Speaker C: I have never heard that phrase before. [00:13:31] Speaker A: You've never heard a stool pigeon before? [00:13:33] Speaker C: No. And if you hadn't told me that, I would assume it was. It was a reference to someone stupid. Like a dunce. [00:13:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Stool pigeon person acting as a decoy, you know, just. [00:13:49] Speaker C: Oh, it's a snitch. [00:13:55] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, like, pretty much just like a whole, you know, betrayal. A police informer. That's. [00:14:03] Speaker C: That's why I said snitch. [00:14:04] Speaker A: That's so slangy, the use of a pigeon fixed to a stool as a decoy in the late 19th century. So, yeah, I mean, I. I've never eaten pigeon meat. [00:14:21] Speaker C: Nor have I, but that's on purpose. I have issue with foul. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Only party fouls. [00:14:31] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:14:33] Speaker A: Right now I'm pretty goddamn good. Right? I. I love making jokes just to make my wife's eyes roll. It is like my. My purpose in life. But let's go ahead and get into some stories. A deputies arrested man for a DUI two nights in a row after he crashed twice in the same intersection. This is in Olympia, Washington. The Thurston County Sheriff's Office arrested the same man for driving under the influence two nights in a row. Deputies say he has crashed his car in the same intersection on both days at the exact same time. February 16th, at 9:47pm deputies were called to a crash at an intersection in Olympia. A woman called 911 to remote report that the man had crashed into her parked car and he had appeared drunk. The man blew a 31 in the Breathalyzer. When the deputies responded, which is nearly four times the legal limit. The man was arrested and booked into jail. He was released the next day. On that day, February 17, again at 9:47pm the same man crashed in the same intersection, this time into a yard, where he hit a Tree stump. When the deputies arrived on scene again, the man blew a three on the br just under bud. He was arrested once again. Bail was set at 50. $50,000. I. I love the fact that the police are so incredibly goddamn useless. [00:16:29] Speaker C: I thought if you get a DOI. You can't drive anymore. [00:16:32] Speaker A: Well, you get SR22 insurance. You have to get a breath, like. [00:16:39] Speaker C: Well, like, if you get arrested for dui, you can go drive the next day. [00:16:44] Speaker A: Not supposed to. [00:16:46] Speaker C: Oh, so they don't take your car away? [00:16:49] Speaker A: No. [00:16:51] Speaker C: Then how do they stop you from driving? [00:16:53] Speaker A: Like, you can have a friend come pick up your car. If you don't have a friend to come pick up your car, then they'll take it to the police impound, where you have to, you know, pay to get it out. [00:17:05] Speaker C: So if you get arrested and you get charged for the dui, like, you can still drive afterwards. [00:17:13] Speaker A: You're not supposed to. He hasn't had his day in court yet, and he bailed out of jail. [00:17:19] Speaker C: So technically he shouldn't be driving until after. [00:17:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:17:23] Speaker C: Okay, so it's kind of like the inverse of a honor system. [00:17:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you're supposed to get an interlock system, but since it was. [00:17:34] Speaker C: So how is that enforced? [00:17:38] Speaker A: If you get pulled over without it, you go to jail. [00:17:43] Speaker C: So if you don't get pulled over afterwards, you never get it, Then you're fine. [00:17:49] Speaker A: Well, good luck registering your car and then. Oh, wait, look. You know, for two years, you don't have, you know, current insurance or current registration. You have no car insurance. [00:18:02] Speaker C: You. [00:18:02] Speaker A: You know, you're really, you know, pushing your luck at that point. [00:18:05] Speaker C: This kind of feels like the honor system. [00:18:09] Speaker A: Yes. I mean, it. Like, I. I have a few friends with the interlock. It has a little camera in there to make sure you're the one blowing into it, you know, that's hilarious. And, yeah, blow into your little car flute, and then you get to take off. I mean, it's very easy not to, you know, get drunk and drive. [00:18:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Literally. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's even easier not to crash in the same spot at the same time. [00:18:46] Speaker C: You know, hey, routines, tits. [00:18:51] Speaker A: I mean, you know, good for this guy, you know? [00:18:54] Speaker C: So if I get a dui, I can go to work the next day. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Technically. I mean, it's. It's a bunch of technicalities. [00:19:04] Speaker C: Okay. [00:19:05] Speaker B: This is. [00:19:05] Speaker C: Okay. [00:19:06] Speaker A: You. You don't want to get caught driving. [00:19:10] Speaker C: Of course I don't want to get a dui. I hate getting fucking tickets. [00:19:18] Speaker A: I mean, like, I'm not a lawyer, so I can't really tell you exactly. He was not supposed to be driving. Okay, so I can tell you that much. But in more car crash news, as more Amish move into rural Virginia, crashes between buggies and motor vehicles are on the rise. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:19:42] Speaker A: Finding a solution is complicated. [00:19:46] Speaker C: How do you crash into a buggy? Like how? [00:19:51] Speaker A: Well, they're on the side of the road. [00:19:53] Speaker C: I know, but if you see a horse and carriage, you're not gonna purposely drive into it, right? [00:19:57] Speaker A: Well, I mean, if you're, you know, traveling down the road, you know, at a good click, and, you know, you come around a corner, you know, a blind corner, and there's a horse and buggy there, boom, you're gonna hit it. [00:20:08] Speaker C: Are you gonna hit another horse that's gonna spook and hit you? [00:20:13] Speaker A: I mean, those horses are pretty goddamn bomb proof. I mean, like, we have, like, I, I see Amish people all the time. [00:20:22] Speaker C: Yeah, no, they're living their best lives. [00:20:26] Speaker A: I mean, you know, sometimes not in. [00:20:27] Speaker C: A good way, but. [00:20:28] Speaker A: No, I mean, like, I, I, I can't hate on it. You know, they do have Rum spring and all that, and they understand, you know, the rest of everything and, you know. [00:20:45] Speaker C: But Courtney, wasn't there a stage where we were, like, reading, like, Christian romance books about Amish people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those were some dark days. [00:21:01] Speaker B: And he read a ton of love inspired Christian novels. [00:21:05] Speaker C: I did. Oh, my God, I so did. Some of them were, like, really up, though. Like, one was about this chick, like, her face got burnt off because, like, she was trying to save her family in a fire. Yeah, yeah. That was not, that wasn't a good. [00:21:33] Speaker A: Phase, you know, but apparently there's, like, a really nasty accident. Cumberland Sheriff Darnell Hodges, after coming to an accident, feared a confrontation was about to erupt. He had been called to the site of a horrible, you know, traffic accident. July 14, 2024. A horse drawn carriage that carried an Amish family of two adults, five children had been struck behind by a pickup truck. All seven of the people were ejected, and an eight year old girl died on scene. And, you know, all the surviving people got taken to the hospital. And a bunch of Amish people came out and they're like, hey, we want to talk to this guy. And, like, they just, like, forgave him. [00:22:29] Speaker C: You should thank God your kid got leukemia. Oh, my God. Okay, who's more inbred, all the hillbillies in Virginia or the Amish community? [00:22:46] Speaker A: The Amish community is not inbred at all. You know, like, you can go join the Amish community. It's just you have to, you know, follow by their rules. [00:23:03] Speaker C: Well, of course we're gonna join a cult. You gotta go full tilt. [00:23:06] Speaker A: I mean, I mean, I. I can't really, you know, call the Amish like a cult. [00:23:13] Speaker C: Okay, I'm saying cult as like, not. Not like a bad call. But I'm just using it as a category. [00:23:22] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, some of the orders of, you know, Amish are like, you know, more strict. Like, some of them will not allow, like, you know, reflectors, some of them won't, you know, allow it to be covered. You know, it's just, you know, however they can, you know, build. [00:23:43] Speaker C: Oh, the parents died too? [00:23:48] Speaker A: Yeah, they forgave him. [00:23:54] Speaker C: Oh, that's a. That's a separate accident. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Toyota Tundra rear ended a family carriage that killed both parents and injured all the kids. That accident, you know, happened barely a half mile from where the little girl was killed. [00:24:14] Speaker C: Oh, so there is a blind turn or some. [00:24:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, yeah. Honestly, like, you know, Amish people are great, you know, like. [00:24:25] Speaker C: Like, as long as the horses didn't get hurt, I wouldn't feel bad about crashing into a buggy. [00:24:31] Speaker A: I mean, I'm sure the horses did get hurt. [00:24:34] Speaker C: That's the worst part as far as I'm concerned. [00:24:40] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, like, you know, if you are in an Amish community, there is signs all over the place saying, hey, there is buggies. Beware, be careful, be mindful, and slow down. That's it. So. [00:25:03] Speaker C: Huh. [00:25:10] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, like, they're seeking cheaper land and, you know, I mean, who knows what's gonna happen? But yeah, rural roads, people will, you know, drive at 60 miles an hour. And a horse drawn carriage is not going 60 miles an hour. [00:25:31] Speaker C: No, it's not. [00:25:32] Speaker A: So, you know, you come around a corner, you know, oh, shit, you know, and end up killing somebody, I kill you. [00:25:42] Speaker C: The children. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Don't. Don't kill Amish children. [00:25:48] Speaker C: They should be grateful to God that their child died because that's how religion works. [00:25:55] Speaker A: I mean, honestly, like, I'm not gonna join the Amish because I enjoy fucking, you know, having electricity. But like, every time, like, I've, like, met like an Amish child, like, they're very respectful. And I'm like, all right, yeah, like you're. You're doing something right. If it's, you know, beating the child or whatever, you know, that's awesome. And like that, that's, you know, like they don't raise, like, selfish, entitled pieces of. I mean, I. I don't know what it is. I like, I respect the Amish. [00:26:38] Speaker C: I feel like your choice of words are really ironic. [00:26:41] Speaker A: The fact that I respect the Amish. [00:26:43] Speaker C: No, that you called that. They're not selfish pieces. Selfish pieces of. [00:26:48] Speaker A: They're not, you know, they're, they're pretty decent. But speaking of selfish pieces of. Tourists are flocking to a erupting volcano in Italy. [00:27:04] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:27:05] Speaker A: Blocking rescue workers. [00:27:07] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Humans are so stupid. Just let them fall into the volcano. [00:27:13] Speaker A: Oh, it's very slow. Oh, it's like it's slow moving and. [00:27:19] Speaker C: Like it's the crumbly kind or the smooth kind. [00:27:23] Speaker A: Like here, I'll share the page. That way Courtney can see it. [00:27:30] Speaker B: Yep. [00:27:33] Speaker A: So, yeah, it's just like, you know, like this is like the volcano. Like you can see it's just, you know, very slow. But it's up on a mountain and, you know, it's snow capped. Mount Etna. It's one of the world's most active volcanoes and has drawn thousands of people wanting to see the eruption. And most of the tourists are well equipped and accompanied by alpine and volcanological guides. [00:28:13] Speaker C: Nice. [00:28:15] Speaker A: But there's also a constant influx of thousands of people wildly parking and hiking up the edge of narrow roads, blocking the circuit circulation of rescue vehicles, social. [00:28:26] Speaker C: Media influence influencers to the rescue. [00:28:30] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, you know, because it is icy up there, people are slipping and falling. [00:28:35] Speaker C: That's their own problem. [00:28:36] Speaker A: And, you know, they need to take. [00:28:38] Speaker C: Themselves out of the gene pool. [00:28:41] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you know, whatever. [00:28:42] Speaker C: What do you mean, whatever? [00:28:45] Speaker A: I mean, it's a 48 year old dude and like I'm like inches away from that. He fell and fractured his foot after falling on ice. [00:28:56] Speaker C: You're literally 16 years away from that. [00:28:59] Speaker A: It's quick. [00:29:00] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:29:02] Speaker A: But you know, people were, you know, parked all over the road and the ambulances couldn't get up to him. [00:29:08] Speaker C: Yeah, that's his problem. He went up there. Oh, that's beautiful. [00:29:13] Speaker A: Yeah, this is, you know what it looks like. [00:29:15] Speaker C: I actually do want to go see that. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Right. [00:29:18] Speaker C: But I would go with a guide. I wouldn't be wandering around on my own. And if I fall and slip, that's my problem. [00:29:27] Speaker A: You know, what if the dude was with a guide? Like, the guide's not a doctor. He's just, you know, someone that can, you know, guide him through and oops, he fell anyway. [00:29:37] Speaker C: I mean, I'd fallen on the left because I'm in my stupid boot, so. But that is a gorgeous photo. I have always wanted to See, a volcano erupts in person, like live. That's like a bucket list thing for me. [00:29:50] Speaker A: Well, we can go, you know, see a volcano and like, it's not going to be erupting. But we. [00:29:54] Speaker C: Take me to Hawaii. [00:29:57] Speaker A: Well, that doesn't have like an active volcano. [00:30:01] Speaker B: We've gone to the volcanoes there, Alex. [00:30:03] Speaker C: I know. [00:30:04] Speaker A: Does Hawaii have an active volcano? [00:30:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of active. [00:30:11] Speaker A: The island of Hawaii, with four active volcanoes, is the liveliest. Between 1912 and 2012, there is nearly 50 eruptions. Yeah. [00:30:25] Speaker C: So, but like, Hawaii has cone volcanoes, so it's not like Mount St. Helen. [00:30:30] Speaker A: But like, I, I just like, want to like, look down and like, see like a bunch of like, you know, like steam rising and like lava pools. [00:30:37] Speaker C: One time, like we went like, you can like, you can like stay at the hotels, like near the volcano. And at night you can see the light from the volcano. Like, it lights up like red, like he, like rising up from the lava lake. [00:30:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, so those are cool. But yes, people are, you know, showing the. [00:30:58] Speaker C: I want to go back to the soulless horse. [00:31:01] Speaker A: People are showing up, you know, and it all up. [00:31:04] Speaker C: Let them themselves up and better yet, let them fall into the volcano. [00:31:09] Speaker A: You know, just. Sorry, sir, you know, we can't get an ambulance here. We're gonna have to throw you into the volcano. [00:31:15] Speaker C: It's like a horse. Just shoot him. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:31:20] Speaker A: You know, don't know what the, you know, bullet does. You know, if it doesn't get better in a week, you have to shoot it again. Horses die too goddamn quick. [00:31:31] Speaker C: Oh, my God. You look at them sideways and they'll break a leg. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Yes, mochi, we. We're almost done. Yeah, I know you want your treats? I will give you salmon flakes. I need you to go away though. Okay? No salmon flakes then. [00:31:52] Speaker C: You said all her favorite words. Why would she leave? [00:31:58] Speaker A: All right, so next story. An ice hockey game between the USA and Canada had three fights in the first nine seconds. American players were expecting a hostile crowd in Montreal after Donald Trump's recent comments that Canada should become a US State. But it actually provided some motivation for the team. And, you know, you already knew that this is gonna pop off. So, yeah, like, they get, they got out on the ice and like, they're booing the national anthem, you know, which is. [00:32:42] Speaker C: I would boo it. It's a fucking lame ass anthem, which. [00:32:45] Speaker A: Is crazy for Canada. It is crazy to boo their future national anthem. [00:32:51] Speaker C: But also Canada is allowed to not be happy with the USA and if anything they should be. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Oh, I mean, they have Justin Trudeau, who is fucking stepping down, I believe next month, and after he's over a whole lot worse than what Trump could ever hope to accomplish. But, yeah, people were just immediately, you know, getting on the ice and fighting, which is the only reason I ever watch hockey. Like, I, I. This. This is, like, what hockey should be. Just fights on ice. It's like Disney on ice. Fights on ice. Like. Like, there was, like, one dude that took an ice skate to his throat and started bleeding all over the place. [00:33:47] Speaker C: What an idiot. [00:33:49] Speaker A: I. I mean, he survived. He did, yeah. [00:33:52] Speaker C: How? [00:33:53] Speaker A: Like, it didn't go, like, that deep. [00:33:55] Speaker C: Those are sharp as, right? [00:33:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, sharp ice skate slid his throat like a dude, like, kind of crashed into him. And, like, his, you know, it wasn't on purpose, but his skate came, and he was a goalie, too, so, you know, you just see him, like, reach for his throat and blood starts pouring down, like, on the eyes. Takes off his helmet and just blood everywhere. You need, like, some transfusions. [00:34:23] Speaker C: Well, yeah, of course. [00:34:25] Speaker A: But, yes, he. He, you know, survived. It's like this. Whose name was goalie that took an ice skate to the throat? Clint Larchuk. Yeah, this is back in 1980. And he played again 10 days later after taking that fucking ice skate to the throat. [00:34:51] Speaker C: All right. Respect. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, fucking crazy, fucking Canadians, you know, I love them. So, yeah, you know, US And Canada. Canada. You better watch yourself. We are way tougher than you. We have guns. [00:35:11] Speaker C: Why are you irritating? Canada. They're living their best life. [00:35:16] Speaker A: You better say sorry right now for booing the national. [00:35:19] Speaker C: They're not antagonizing us. [00:35:21] Speaker A: They. They booed my national anthem, which is. And they. They fought my guys. [00:35:31] Speaker C: When on earth did you start caring about hockey? [00:35:35] Speaker A: I mean, I still don't, but Precisely. I. I enjoy taking sides just for the podcast and just to stir the pot. So, yeah, I mean, a bunch of people got in fights, like, immediately, which lets me know that, you know, people that play sports are stupid. [00:36:03] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. They don't get into college for being smart. That was a mean thing for me to say. I apologize. [00:36:09] Speaker A: I mean, speaking of people that play sports that are dumb. Onto the next story. Runners go in wrong direction after prankster messes with the race signs. [00:36:26] Speaker C: Oh, my God, this is amazing. [00:36:32] Speaker A: Race runners in Glasgow were sent in the wrong direction after a prankster buried the arrow signs and pointed him down a path not part of the trail. Participants in a race in Castle Milk Woodsland on Sunday were sent down the wrong path by a member of the public pretending to be a marshal. The prankster buried the arrow signs meant to keep runners on the right track and instead change the direction of the route with another sign. They also pointed participants towards the wrong part of the trail, causing concern for safety as runners were marshaled into an unmarked area. Organizer Eric Acorn Trail said it was left with bitterness, anger and disappointment after this stunt and apologized for those taking part. A spokesperson said, aside from the absolutely great day and race, I'm left with some bitterness, blah, blah, blah, blah. Towards the end of the route, a member of the public took it upon themselves to bury a large route arrow and move a smaller one to change the direction of the route. They then imitated a marshal and pointed runners in the incorrect direction. The pettiness endangered runners, taking them away from the safety of a marked and marshaled course and forced them further into the park, away or towards the road, and away from any first aid provision that could have potentially been required. It makes me rather angry that anyone could mean so reckless, which is fucking hilarious to me. You know, good for this guy. But the company is now offering a 50 discount by those affected for entry into their next event in Lynn park in March. So you have. [00:38:29] Speaker C: This is funny as. Why is everyone in an uproar? [00:38:34] Speaker A: I'm on an uproar that these people had to pay to run. [00:38:39] Speaker C: Was it like a. What is it called when people, like, pay money for, like, a thing to get into, to go to, like, people who need money? [00:38:52] Speaker A: Like Race for the Cure? [00:38:54] Speaker C: Yeah. Was it like that kind of thing? [00:38:58] Speaker A: Let me see. God damn it. Like, I looked up acorn trails and it's like, Colorado. I'm like, no, not Colorado. Let's see. [00:39:15] Speaker C: Oh, I'm sorry. People are sticks in the mud. Because that's hilarious. [00:39:25] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's five series to Glasgow. Yeah. I mean, I. I think it's just, you know, a race. [00:39:41] Speaker C: Yeah. What else would it be like? [00:39:44] Speaker A: I don't think they're, like, doing anything for anybody. I think they're just like, yeah. You guys say, but, you know, we love the tree. Yeah, they. They, like, clean up litter, I guess, on the race. Stupid. Rather than making huge profits on our events, we prefer to support other people and groups with a similar ethos to our own. We always support a charity or good cause at every event we put on. It's what we stand for. [00:40:25] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:40:26] Speaker A: Okay. So, yeah, they. They will take some of that money and, you know, put it in their pocket and then, like, you know, give A quarter to. You know, something nice. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you, Prankster. You did a good thing. [00:40:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:43] Speaker A: No one got hurt. And if you get hurt running, you're probably a woman. Most likely my wife. [00:40:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I should be running ever again. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Oh, my. Yeah, I freaking went to the gym last night and, like, my feet hurt so bad now. [00:41:02] Speaker C: Oh, I'm so sorry. [00:41:04] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I only. [00:41:07] Speaker C: I don't. [00:41:07] Speaker B: And it was so annoying because I only was on, like, a freaking elliptical for 10 minutes, and, like, now my left heel is burning because of plantar fasciitis and my broken foot is kind of. My right foot is, like, kind of stiff. Well, it was, but I've kind of got worked that out. I don't know why it was stiff. [00:41:31] Speaker A: Maybe it's these fascist plants. [00:41:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:35] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:41:36] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Do you think you're so funny? [00:41:38] Speaker A: Goddamn good. [00:41:40] Speaker C: Like, oh, my God. No, that. [00:41:42] Speaker A: That's. Speaking of fascist plants. [00:41:47] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:41:49] Speaker A: Federal employees were told to justify jobs and email or Musk said they face dismissal. A fascist plant. [00:42:00] Speaker C: Christ. [00:42:01] Speaker A: It's pretty good. [00:42:03] Speaker C: Now I have to acknowledge it. [00:42:06] Speaker A: So apparently, Elon Musk sent out an. [00:42:09] Speaker C: Email to, like, Elon Musk, like, in a government position. [00:42:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:13] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:42:15] Speaker B: Doge. [00:42:16] Speaker A: The Department of Government Efficiency doing some good. [00:42:22] Speaker C: This is how little I know of politics. So continue. [00:42:24] Speaker A: It doesn't matter. You don't need to, you know, get involved. You know, just, I. I don't ever, you know, give a shit. I'm like, cool, you know, if you want to send me money, that's awesome. If you don't, I don't care. Realistically, the president has no bearing on my life. It's these stupid Democrats that we have out here in Colorado voting on, you know, SB25.3, you know, taking away my gun rights illegally. Days are numbered. Not voting for you Democrats no more. But, yeah, apparently, Elon Musk had sent out an email to federal employees asking him what work they did in the last week. Musk announced that failure to respond will be taken as a resignation Said. Please respond to this email with approximately five bullets of what you accomplished in the last week and CC your manager. Please do not send any classified information, links or attachments reads the email, which comes from the personal management HR email, but has no signature, which is not, you know, that difficult. You know, what five things did you do in the past week? You know, why are we keeping you around? Why are we paying you? And, you know, you can lie. You can be like, oh, I'm, you know, the guy that takes care of all this and just make it sound important, you know, and then you just get in, cool, keep your job. But if you're like, I'm not going to respond to this fascist, then, you know, guess what? Your, your job's gone. I, I, I feel like, you know, threatening someone's job because they didn't do something in the past week, you know, what have you accomplished this year? You know, I feel like that's, that's a little bit more fair. [00:44:36] Speaker C: Yeah, I agree. [00:44:41] Speaker A: You know, it also just could be from some, you know, buddy else. It could just be a big old hoax, but chances are no. And, you know, the government's just trying to trim the fat. That way they can, you know, spend money on. [00:45:02] Speaker C: There's stuff like they're not, like, allowed to talk about. [00:45:08] Speaker A: You know, hey, I signed an NDA or, hey, you don't have, you know, you know, clearance to know what I did, but I did, you know, top secret clearance stuff. Five top secret clearance thingies. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Don't forget the bullet points. [00:45:25] Speaker A: You know, number one, I did, you know, redacted. Number two. I did redacted. [00:45:30] Speaker C: Number three. [00:45:31] Speaker A: Redacted. Number five, clean the toilet. Same thing. Clean the toilet. Your mom. So, yeah, I mean, I, I'm interested to see how this all shakes out. I do enjoy, you know, a big old, you know, pot of. And that's what it is. I, I did see, however, that, you know, with the savings that they are finding, Donald Trump is kicking around the idea of sending out a stimulus check of, like, around $5,000. Now. I'll believe it when I see it. I don't count chickens until they hatch. Colorado still hasn't accepted, you know, our tax returns, and it's, you know, almost all the way through February. I filed him in January. And then the New York Times is criticizing the Doge Public ledger and saying it's riddled with mistakes and, you know, Buddha, Elon Musk, which, you know, is their prerogative. I'm sure not everything in there is a hundred percent, you know, accurate. I'm sure some of it is old information that just hasn't been updated. And so he's just mistaken and just kind of, you know, pushing the information out too quick without actually checking it. You know, sort of. Like, I do, like, I read a story and I just, I'm like, yeah, if it's fake, if it's an absolute, you know, fake piece of, I'm still gonna read it. And there's some stories I do read, and I'm like, this is 100 fake. Like the dude that fell out of the helicopter and into like a church's chicken. It was a fake story and people fell for it. Kind of enjoyed that. And Courtney, I'm sure your dad has. [00:47:54] Speaker B: Been like, you know, oh God, it's like 24 7. I'm so over politics. [00:48:02] Speaker A: I know I'm over it. That's why I'm just. [00:48:05] Speaker B: I'm so sorry. Like, like in the grocery store, he's got the. The app and he's watching Fox News while we're in the grocery store. [00:48:18] Speaker A: Well, it's not like he has to walk around. [00:48:22] Speaker B: No, he like follows me. Like he has it like blasting while we're in the store. [00:48:27] Speaker A: You know, it'd be cool is if his next chair is like a Tesla chair and like it has like auto drive, like, like self driving chair. So we can just like, you know, have more time to watch Fox News. Courtney's like, I hate you. All right, on to the next story. Colorado men accused of attempting to use a cannon to launch meth and tobacco into a Louisiana prison. [00:49:04] Speaker C: This dude is out here doing the Lord's work. [00:49:08] Speaker A: The Grant Parish sheriff office said that two men were arrested attempting to use a cannon to sneak meth and tobacco into a prison. [00:49:17] Speaker C: This is amazing. [00:49:19] Speaker A: Over in Grant Parish. [00:49:21] Speaker C: Where'd they get the cannon? [00:49:23] Speaker A: It's in Louisiana. I'm sure that they can find a bunch. The sheriff's office said an investigation led deputies to learn the suspects from Greeley planned to use a cannon propelled by compressed air to launch a hundred and twelve thousand dollars worth of tobacco and 89 and a half thousand dollars worth of meth into the prison, which would have been a bad thing. Deputy said the cannon, which could shoot items 350ft into the air. I want one of these. [00:49:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:57] Speaker A: Would launch the items over the federal prison security fronts and onto prison grounds. The two suspects, 18 year old Jose Francesco Herrera Muza and 19 year old Angel Gonzalez Guerrero, both from Greeley, are facing charges of attempting to introduce contraband into a penal institution and attempting to distribute meth. The sheriff's Office also said U.S. immigrations and Custom enforcement also assisted in the investigation and detained Munoz, who was reportedly in the US Illegally. [00:50:42] Speaker C: I assumed that this, for some reason, I assume these are going to be like two idiots in their late 20s. [00:50:47] Speaker A: They are. [00:50:48] Speaker C: No, they're still teenagers. I mean they're, they're just teenagers doing teenager shit. [00:50:53] Speaker A: 18 and 19. Yeah. I mean they're, they're both dumbass looking. [00:50:57] Speaker C: Yeah, they are. Look at Those noses. [00:51:00] Speaker A: I mean, just like the. I like, this guy was, like, crying. You could tell before. Let me share it with Courtney. That way she can. [00:51:08] Speaker C: Do you have to frown for a mug shot or can you make whatever face looks. [00:51:10] Speaker A: You can smile if you want to. [00:51:13] Speaker C: If I get a mug shot, I'm gonna smile for it. [00:51:15] Speaker A: There you go. You can see him. Yeah. Like, this guy here, he was, you know, crying. I'm not gonna ever see my teal again. And this guy is like, yeah, I'm gonna see my dad again. So, I mean, like, he's like, I'm gonna be in prison. Be so hard. Like, yeah, but your butthole's gonna be soft, so get ready for it. Like, I want to know what cannon they had. [00:51:53] Speaker C: I also want to know what cannon they had. [00:51:57] Speaker A: And, like, how do they think this is gonna go? Like, use a drone. Like, normal people, idiots. [00:52:04] Speaker C: Like, just imagine being in prison. Like, you're out in the yard and, like, you just get sleep, land with, like, a giant gym bag of meth. [00:52:10] Speaker A: Like. Like, it's like a sharp crystal, and it stabs you, and you're about to get out, like, in two days, and, like, this sharpest, you know, shard of crystal meth stabs you and gets into your system, makes you freak the out, punch a guard, and, you know, you're so excited to get out in two days, and then now you're high on crystal meth and punching the out of guards, and you just added, like, six months to your sentence. It's like, all right, next story for this one's for you, Courtney. All right, so this is a new assembly bill in California to make Bigfoot the official state crypted, you know, to enact legislation that would designate Bigfoot as the official state crypted. You know, so this is what, you know, your state is wasting time on, you know, existing law establishes the state flag and the state emblems, including, among other things, golden poppy is a state flower. California redwood is the official state tree. The bill would state the intent of legislature to enact legislation that would designate Bigfoot as the official state cryptid, even though he doesn't exist. [00:53:46] Speaker B: I mean, has there been Bigfoot sightings in California, though? [00:53:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's, like, where it was first spotted. [00:53:55] Speaker C: Okay. Do you remember the show California's Gold? So one of the episodes they went to, it was either Mystery Hill or had a different name out in the redwoods. And the guy who owned the place, like, he would go out and wander the woods in a Bigfoot suit, and one day he got shot. And after that he didn't do it anymore. He still ran the little like amusement esque park thing he had. But he didn't use. He didn't wear the suit anymore because he got shot once. [00:54:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh my God. [00:54:30] Speaker A: But yes, that, that is what your state does. And my wife will like this one. [00:54:37] Speaker C: I will. [00:54:38] Speaker A: A fungus named after Sir David Attenborough. Zombified cave spiders. [00:54:44] Speaker C: Yes. [00:54:45] Speaker B: Oh my God, yes. [00:54:48] Speaker C: Yes. [00:54:48] Speaker B: That's so cool. [00:54:51] Speaker C: I love fungus. It's so cool. [00:54:54] Speaker B: I know, right? There's really like weird ass where fungus like seriously make their host zombies. Yeah, it's freaking weird as fuck. [00:55:07] Speaker C: No, it's super fucking cool. [00:55:13] Speaker A: Let me see pronunciation. A newly discovered fungus in Irish caves is turning spiders into zombies. Djibellula attenboroughy takes over their brain. So that, that is how it is said. [00:55:31] Speaker C: Yes. Fungus is so cool. Fungus is cool. It's literally its own species. Like there's humans, there's plants and then there's fungus. Like it's, it's evolving. [00:55:45] Speaker A: But it was so cool. First spotted on an orb weaving spider. But yeah. The Jibuella genus of fungi are spider specialists. They believe after the spore lands on a spider, the fungal cell sinks into the body and multiplies, consuming the house internal organs. And if we cut through the infected spider, we don't see spider anymore. Just a fungal mass inside in the shape of a spider. [00:56:26] Speaker C: Yes. [00:56:28] Speaker A: I mean like, yeah, I'd much rather, you know, seeing a mushroom than a cave spider. Jesus Christ. Christ. [00:56:37] Speaker C: It's so beautiful. [00:56:40] Speaker A: We're almost done, Mo. Okay, now. Now we're on to. Am I the. Are you the for, you know, bothering me, all right. By overthinking sabotage, Am I the for withholding sex because. Because my husband won't get a vasectomy? Neither of us want children. This was discussed and agreed upon very early in our relationship. The subject of sterilization came up during our engagement. We agreed it would be easier, cheaper and less invasive for him to get a vasectomy versus me getting a bicep assault. He said he would get sterilized after we got married. We've been married for three years now. Sterilization has been the focus of several arguments over the years, which have only gotten more frequent since Roie Wade was overturned. We live in a red state with an absolute ban. There's legislation proposed being proposed to document pregnant women and penalize out of state terminations. I'm terrified of getting pregnant. It would ruin my life. He knows my feelings every time I Talk to him about getting sterilized. He always says the same thing. I'm too busy. I don't have time. It's invasive. I'm getting into. Getting into urology will take forever. They don't even put you to sleep, etc. He's a first year resident doctor. It's true. He's very busy. He works anywhere from 30 to 70 hours per week. I'm a first year PA student. I spend 50 plus hours a week attending class and studying. He has the luxury of taking time off. I do not. For the next two years, my schedule will be inflexible. He claims vasectomies are just as invasive as a larscopic bicep. [00:58:57] Speaker C: Laparoscopic. [00:58:59] Speaker A: You know. What is that word? I have no idea. [00:59:03] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:59:03] Speaker A: Bicep, Bicelp. [00:59:05] Speaker C: It's bilateral as a. [00:59:08] Speaker A: As a neutering for women just getting her tubes tied. I told them that's simply not true. Hence why general anesthesia is required for a neutering and the only local anesthesia for vasectomy. Not to mention healing time is considerably longer for neutering versus Yep. Or for spaying versus neutering. Considering his extensive medical knowledge, I was shocked by this statement. We are both in our twenties. It's substantially harder for young women to find a provider who will sterilize them than it is for young men. I started looking for a provider months ago. I found some promising leads. He hasn't even done a Google search. I feel so disgusted, disappointed and angry. He knows I'm terrified of getting pregnant. He knows the spay is more of an invasive procedure. He knows the entire process of finding providers, scheduling the apartment and having the procedure, then recovering and post op will be more difficult, time consuming and expensive. [01:00:21] Speaker C: And painful. [01:00:22] Speaker A: I asked him why he's so unwilling to have the procedure. Is he scared? Does he want children? He said no to both. Then he repeats the same excuses. I told him to forget it and I'll go ahead with the sterilization myself. But sex is off the table and will be for the foreseeable future. Despite being on birth control, I'm no longer willing to take the risk. He thinks my reaction is unfair. Am I the asshole? [01:00:49] Speaker C: It took me five years to get my hysterectomy. Five years. Five years it took me to get my hysterectomy and they didn't even take both ovaries. [01:01:05] Speaker B: Well, yeah, because they don't want you to go into early menopause. [01:01:09] Speaker C: I know, but now I'm still in birth control. Because I still get the fucking cysts. [01:01:14] Speaker B: Oh. [01:01:15] Speaker C: So I'm on two forms of birth control. I have the implant, and I'm on an oral form. [01:01:24] Speaker B: Really? [01:01:24] Speaker C: Yes. [01:01:26] Speaker A: You also have a truck driver for a husband. [01:01:29] Speaker C: I know. So I have good insurance, but still took five years, so. I mean, lady, this dude's cheating on her. [01:01:38] Speaker A: Why do you say that? [01:01:39] Speaker C: Because he's disrespecting her. Whenever. This kind of stuff. Okay. Whenever I see these kind of Reddit posts, at the end of the day, it's always. He's always. He's cheating at the bottom of it. I mean, like, either he's A. Or he's. Or he's a mama's boy. Or C, he's just a fucking piece of shit. D, he's cheating. [01:02:01] Speaker A: No, I think he's just a pussy. His body, his choice. But that also means you get to decide on your form of birth control. In this case, abstinence, which is the most effective, safest, painless, and least invasive option. [01:02:17] Speaker C: This is true. [01:02:20] Speaker A: This definitely. If he doesn't want to be sterilized, this is absolutely his right. If you don't want to have sex with any man that can get you pregnant, this is absolutely your right. No one man or woman owes anyone else sex. You don't have to be good enough. You don't have to have a good enough reason. You don't have to have any reason. He's gonna howl that you're punishing him and similar shit. Let him. How. Let him learn how you won't be steamrolled. Yeah. I mean, everyone is agreeing with Opie. [01:02:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:00] Speaker A: 100. Saying you're not the. Yeah. Everyone's saying, you know, oh, your husband's a doctor. You know. [01:03:15] Speaker C: Yeah. That makes it even worse. [01:03:17] Speaker A: I mean, you know, here's the thing. [01:03:19] Speaker C: And if he's scared he's going to change his mind, you can adopt. [01:03:25] Speaker B: Yeah. For some people. Some people are weird about blood. [01:03:28] Speaker C: People are weird about blood, though. I will acknowledge that. [01:03:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:35] Speaker A: I mean, some people are weird about surgery. You know, what. What if he has a, you know, hidden. [01:03:40] Speaker C: He's a doctor. [01:03:45] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I have a bunch of guns, and I enjoy shooting them. I don't want to get shot at. [01:03:52] Speaker C: He's a doctor. Surgery is, like, the best part of medicine. [01:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Not on yourself. [01:03:58] Speaker C: He's not gonna do the procedure. [01:04:02] Speaker A: I mean, I feel like you could, like. I feel like I could, like, find my, like, little tubes and, like, kind of, like, pedal pinch him to, like, the surface. [01:04:09] Speaker C: Could I watch? [01:04:10] Speaker A: No, I. I'm not doing it. [01:04:12] Speaker C: I'll do it for you. [01:04:13] Speaker A: No. Oh my God. I'm getting a chastity belt right now. So. Yeah. Opie, you're not an your husband. Slight, maybe, but I. I'm leaning on now. No here. He's scared and just, you know, doesn't want to be a in front of you, so. [01:04:36] Speaker C: But clearly, Op, if he's not going to do it, you're going to have to do it on your own, which makes it even worse. [01:04:42] Speaker A: But if you. If you lose your uterus, no more periods. [01:04:48] Speaker C: I. Honestly, my hysterectomy is one of the best things in my entire life that ever happened to me after meeting you. [01:04:55] Speaker A: All right, now on to relationship advice by L2PC89 I think my 25, male wife, 23, female, thinks I murdered her ex. Love it. About a month ago, while out shopping with my wife, I ran into her high school boyfriend and his mom on the street. It was slightly awkward encounter. His mom made a comment about how good they look standing next to each other like it was meant to be. [01:05:33] Speaker C: Ew. [01:05:34] Speaker A: We said we were in a bit of a hurry and we were walking away when he said something along the lines of, hey, we should grab coffee sometime. I didn't think too much of it at the moment. His mom was awkward, but they had been broken up for seven years and I don't think it was, you know, meant. I think, and I do think it was meant just to be friendly. But we still had a quick check and after we both agreed it was awkward and that I wasn't too upset and that I wouldn't necessarily mind them meeting for coffee, provided it was clear that. Provided that it became clear that he still had feelings or is making advances, she'd cut him out. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to take him up on it. So it was purely hypothetical. That evening I met up with some friends for drinks and was home at 1am the next morning. My wife got a message that her friend from her friend, that ex, died that night. We had a few more details over the next couple days, and it seemed like he suffered from epilepsy that night, had a freak accident and had a seizure, fell and hit his head. A fact. There's no foul play or suspected criminal investigation or anything like that. In the weeks since, she's acted really strange. She's been abnormal, abnormally sad that he died, but more cautious and fearful around me. She hasn't made any direct accusation, but has been asking me a lot of questions about where we went out drinking with my friends, who I was with and each person that arrived and left, etc, she mentioned she wanted to spend more time with a friend to keep catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to ask if she thinks that I murdered him or I have to go out and tell her that I didn't even. I'm even afraid to bring it up and whether just feed into whatever she seems going on. Any thoughts on how to deal with this? For the record, I didn't murder this. You know, let. Let her, you know, get all. [01:08:09] Speaker C: What the fuck? [01:08:11] Speaker A: I mean, here's the thing. [01:08:12] Speaker C: Wait, so he went out drinking and then her ex died the same night? [01:08:16] Speaker A: Yes, that. You know, so pretty much what happened is like they were out shopping for food, the ex, and you know, her ex's mother, you know, they met them at the store and like, ah. And you know, the ex is like, hey, we should get some coffee. Sometimes later that night he went out drinking with his friends. The ex randomly dies. [01:08:41] Speaker C: Where did the ex die? Where was he drinking? Is it the same place? [01:08:45] Speaker A: No, he was at. [01:08:46] Speaker C: Where did she make this correlation? Where could she have possibly made this correlation? [01:08:53] Speaker A: Because, you know, he just randomly died. [01:08:58] Speaker C: Did she remember the ex and she's trying to pass his pussy, push a suspicion on to somebody else? [01:09:04] Speaker A: That'd be hilarious, right? [01:09:06] Speaker C: That's like the only angle I can get from this. This is just so bizarre that her. He did murder the ex? [01:09:22] Speaker A: Oh, as far as I know, okay. As far as I know, there's no foul play or suspected criminal investigation. Pretty sure the ex was at home and. [01:09:39] Speaker C: Okay, she murdered the ex and she's trying to push off the suspicion. That's my favorite theory. I'm sticking with it. This is like when like someone like does a mistake, but then they accuse your partner of doing the mistake instead. And then gaslight. [01:09:52] Speaker A: I mean, if the ex was hanging out with, you know, him and like all his friends and then he had a fucking epileptic seizure and hit his head on the side of the bar, you know, then yes, I could understand how she can come up with that, you know, explanation. Yeah, I mean, give her time. You know, he. [01:10:15] Speaker C: Super weird. Why there's. There's so much missing information. Why does she think that? [01:10:22] Speaker A: I mean, here, here's my theory. This is an ex. This is someone that she did have feelings for and that she did date and was a part of her life, you know, no matter, you know, no matter how big or small. And it seemed like everything Was fine. Like, she didn't absolutely hate this guy like I hate him. I don't want, you know, and. And, you know, boom, you know, now he's dead and emotions will raise, you know, and back. [01:11:03] Speaker C: There. This is so weird. There. [01:11:05] Speaker A: Let's see. Let's see what the comments say. [01:11:06] Speaker C: This is so weird. [01:11:11] Speaker A: You don't need to ask her that. You need to ask her why her demeanor towards you has changed. Communicate, Communicate. Then update on how it went, because I'm investing. Just be sure not to do it while cutting meat, splitting firewood, or cleaning a firearm. I will try and communicate this with her and someone who she trusts, like her mom or best friend. Tell her that you are worried because you noticed her difference since the death and of her ex. And try and ask for her feelings and what happened in her head since. That is a wild conclusion to jump to on her end. Very bizarre. I honestly couldn't trust her after all this. But I know you have an alibi, people to confirm where you were, tons of evidence proving you didn't do it, but that is insane. Keep all the evidence you had on your whereabouts. I would make. This would make me very disturbed, and I would not continue this relationship. [01:12:28] Speaker C: He hasn't actually asked her if she thinks he murdered her ex. Right. He's just all pulling this from conjecture, probably. [01:12:36] Speaker A: You know, I. I feel like she's just upset because, yes. You know, a huge part of her, you know, life and, you know, someone that, you know, she could have been friends with, you know, you know, technically a friend, you know, died. You know, so when, you know, one of your friends died. Yes. You get to be sad. You get to be weird. You know, how am I, you know, handling this? How am I processing this? You know, take her into therapy if you want to, you know, keep it all, you know, kosher. [01:13:03] Speaker C: There are so many missing details. There's got to be other reasons why he thinks she thinks about murder. [01:13:12] Speaker A: I mean, let's see if comments. I mean, this guy does post a lot on Republican subreddits. [01:13:33] Speaker C: He definitely murdered the ex. [01:13:37] Speaker A: Now. Now you're. You're on the girlfriend's side. [01:13:39] Speaker C: Yeah. No, he murdered the ex, and she's like. She's got, like, proof. She's waiting for him to come clean. [01:13:47] Speaker A: That'd be. So she, like, links this story. It's like, my boyfriend did murder my ex. I have proof. [01:14:01] Speaker C: Like, why else like this? They're not talking to each other. This is just the wildest thing his brain could come up with. He killed the ex. I'M on board with it. [01:14:19] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, this is a great. You know who done it. [01:14:22] Speaker C: Yes, precisely. [01:14:25] Speaker A: And then it turns out it was the mother. Oh, you. You should get together. I want you out of my house, you appalactic piece of. And, like, throws them down. [01:14:35] Speaker C: Oh, my God, there's something else going on. [01:14:37] Speaker A: The mother killed her. [01:14:38] Speaker C: Yeah, everyone's dead now. [01:14:42] Speaker A: That's it for this episode. That's it for the, you know, this week. We will be back next week with some more of this nonsense. You know how it goes. Yeah, I'm never gonna improve. I'm never gonna get better. It's fine. I. I've come to that realization. But, yeah, we'll be back next week. Unless I'm dead. Unless, you know, this boyfriend comes out and murders me. He's like, oh, nope, this guy's talking about me on. On his stupid podcast. I have to go murder him. That way no one knows. But see ya. Bye.