Ramblin Man

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of my podcast, the Human Podcast. I don't even really remember why I named it that. It was just years and years ago. I thought it was, like, gonna be something different than you just turn into this horseshit. [00:00:17] Speaker B: Yeah, you thought you'd be, like, interviewing, like, a different stranger every single episode. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Was that what it was? [00:00:23] Speaker B: Yeah. That's what you thought it was gonna be like. [00:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah, then I just got fucking lazy as shit and then just made an offensive podcast that you, for some reason, told my mother about. Like, I don't know why. Like, I have, like, random people that listen to this shit. I don't know who they are. They could be just, like, chinese nationals that don't even speak English. They just want to hear american accents. But, no, you had to, like, go and be like, hey, you know, mother in law. Listen to this shit. Listen to this shit your son says. Yeah, you know, it's like telling Courtney's mom about the podcast. [00:01:05] Speaker B: No, I also wanted her to be proud of you, not just me. [00:01:10] Speaker A: There's nothing to be proud of here. [00:01:12] Speaker B: There's everything to be proud of. [00:01:14] Speaker A: That's, like, taking a shit and, like, shaping it into, like, a star and be like, look, I have, you know, a fucking starry shit. [00:01:22] Speaker B: You're the only one who said it was shit. [00:01:26] Speaker A: I mean, compared to, like, other podcasts that have, like, higher production values. I mean, I do my best with, like, the fucking 10 seconds I get, but this week, the fucking whole machine gun shoot is all done. I went out there, shot a whole fucking ton of guns, washed. Oh, yeah, let me. Let me start fucking with the introductions, because I'm Alex truck. This is my wife over here, and then Courtney. Is Courtney still there? Yeah. Okay. Courtney's over there. So there. Introductions done. But. So. So last weekend, I went out to the machine gun shoot, had a great fucking grand time, shot a bunch of guns for free, and it was great because I got to watch the most depressed people have to reload guns and then hand them to children, essentially. Sometimes. Really? Children? Like, ten year old kids. Hey, here's an AR 15. Here's an AK 47 kid go wild. Nothing bad happened at all, though. I mean, except, you know, a couple suppressors exploded and some guns jammed up and went bad. Yeah, no, it definitely sucked. I'm sure a couple wives out there fucking lost their hearing, because I was watching, you know, like, mothers and wives come down to the shooting range, and they have signs everywhere. You know, if you're down here, you have to wear eye protection and ear protection. But they're also about fuck around. Find out. You know, we told you, we warned you. You know, we have fucking, you know, ear protection. If you want it for free, well, $0.50, but, you know, that's close to the freeze. You're gonna get, you know, a huge box of it. Go for it. And I'm just like, watching these women just stick fingers in their ears. Like, this is good enough, you know, next to fucking, you know, like, I was in line outside of the range and I still had ear protection. I'm like, yeah, I'm not fucking around with this. It's loud. And Tron, was there any, like, lifted one ear off, like, as we were at the range? Oh, that was a. That was bad ideas. So women, ladies, people that don't shoot, if someone invites you to the gun range, make sure you have adequate ear protection. You know, you can get it for dirt cheap. You can use a little fucking, you know, orange ones you squish up and shove it in your ears like dough balls. Those work kind of, you know, you can't hear shit. The over the ear ones work the best. But it was a wonderful time. And at the very end, it started to rain. Hi, Mochi. This is my cat, Mochi. Come here. Hop up. Okay. Or don't. I don't fucking care. See, I don't know why people get cats like, they just don't listen. They're little assholes. [00:04:59] Speaker B: She's mad because I'm in her seat. [00:05:01] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, hop. There you go. So I got a bunch of stickers and had a bunch of fun, but I had to come back. Mochi? Yes, can I help you? Yeah, you're interrupting the whole podcast. Would you like to say hello to the people here? There, say hello to the people. But okay, let's go on to fucking today. Ow, hell, you little shit. Lay down or do something. Do something that is not bothering me. This is what having children is like. If you want to fucking nut inside a woman and have a child with her, a human life, go and have a cat first. Cats are much easier to sell if you don't like it. And, you know, if you're like, I can deal with this, all the nonsense that they do all the time. Yeah, go ahead and have a kid. But so today we went to the mall. You know, I'm like, I want to go to the mall. You know, I want to go window shopping. That's all it was intended to be. You know, I saw a hot pot restaurant. Never been to a hot pot restaurant. It's the first time I've ever been to an asian restaurant. I'm still full. It was so good, but, like, there was points. I was walking around the mall, and I'm like, I'm gonna throw up. I am so full. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Oh, no. I didn't let myself get to that full of a level. [00:06:55] Speaker A: I was like. I was to the point where a doctor would be, stop. Stop, dude. No, no, not another bowl. No, stop. He'd, like, be slapping the spoon out of my hand. I grab chopsticks. Like, dude, fine, die. I don't care, you know? But we went to a hot pot restaurant. Never had it before. Great shit lessons to be learned, though. If you go to a hot pot restaurant, do not cook everything at once. Do not just grab a bunch of shit and throw it into your hot potential and let it continue to cook. You know? I did it wrong. No one judged me for it. These lovely vietnamese people fucking just stood back and let the dumb american do dumb american things. [00:07:51] Speaker B: It was so embarrassing. It was so embarrassing. [00:07:55] Speaker A: But. But it's fine. [00:07:57] Speaker B: It was fine. [00:07:57] Speaker A: They didn't say shit to me. [00:07:59] Speaker B: No, they were very nice. [00:08:00] Speaker A: They were awesome. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Yes. Forgiving. We're so white. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Speak for yourself. I'm very brown. I claim the brown, like, when I, like, makes me the coolest person in the room. But, you know, when, like, an officer is there, I'm like, I'm a white guy. I like, you know, marshmallows and s'mores. Like. Like, what are, like, things that white people enjoy? [00:08:35] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Like, you know, cats. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Cats are great. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Like, white people love cats. And autism, it's crazy, you know? Like, every white person I know, it's like, I like cats, and I have autism. I'm a white guy. I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. Like, all of them. Like. Like, last night, I, you know, took my friend Reese out. Good dude. He never comes out. He, like. He's, you know, kind of, like, more of a homebody, but he's like, you know, I want to fucking get out there. And so we took him out to, you know, the different bars. Gave him a purple fucker. Yeah. He's like, oh, oh, yeah. You remember that purple fucker? [00:09:25] Speaker B: It was awful. [00:09:26] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he. Same thing. But he fucking, you know, drank the entire thing. I'm like, it's the initiation, dude. I mean, yeah, they're not great. Like, no alcoholic drink is like, oh, my God, I love these. Except for your weird beers. [00:09:44] Speaker B: Okay, cosmo done, right? It's perfect. [00:09:50] Speaker A: I mean, like, any drink I've ever drank, I'm not like, oh, my God, I can just drink this forever. No, I'm gonna. I drink to get drunk. That's what I do. I make myself fucking adios, motherfuckers. Fucking Long island iced teas. What? Tokyo tea or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Whatever color of fucking poison you want to color your poison. You can do that. That's fine. It's great. Four different liquors fuck me up. Are you okay? [00:10:26] Speaker B: Do I like the fact that a cosmos orange because orange means danger and danger means alcohol. [00:10:32] Speaker A: I have no idea. I'm pretty sure I've made you cosmos. I just don't know what color they are because I don't drink them myself. [00:10:40] Speaker B: You make me the best cosmos ever. [00:10:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I know how to measure shit. [00:10:45] Speaker B: It's so good. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Just boom, boom, boom, boom. And shake it. [00:10:48] Speaker B: And you also, also, the recipe is a bit of a cheat. It adds. It adds simple syrup. [00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah, simple syrup is just sugar and water. [00:10:59] Speaker B: It's great because I want the orange. [00:11:02] Speaker A: Like, it's like, you know, just like heavy sugar. Balance out the sour in your. Like, this is some shit that I never understood, you know, it's like, why do people go to a bar and spend fucking absurd amounts of money to, you know, get hard liquor? Like, I'll go to a bar and buy a beer, you know, $3 for the beer. It's still fucking rip off. But I'm supporting the bar and I understand how retail works. Yes, but, you know, you go to the bar and be like, yeah, can I get like this little fucking drink? And it's like $27. What the fuck are you doing with your life? Why? You can go buy all the bottles of liquor you need to make that drink. Make ten of them for $27. What the fuck? [00:11:52] Speaker B: Paying for convenience. [00:11:55] Speaker A: Learn how to do some shit yourself or just pay. [00:11:57] Speaker B: I do not have to do it. [00:12:00] Speaker A: I mean, like, yeah, if that's your thing. Yeah, sure, go for it. [00:12:05] Speaker B: Yeah, why strive when you can buy? [00:12:10] Speaker A: And I almost forgot the most important part of last night, so I know this is all disjointed ADHD. What the fuck is he rambling about? My favorite part about last night, though, from my work, I got an electric shock thing. It stimulates your muscles for pain relief. It was sent to me for free. They're like, hey, enjoy this. Use it, whatever, I don't care. And I found out really quick, if you put the level up too high, it hurts a lot. So I'm like, I put it on my back. I'm like, oh, fuck, that sucks. But at low levels, it's fine. And so I had a couple extra pads. There's sticky pads with electrodes on them. And I bring them to the bar last night because my friend Bradley was like, I can go to 100 on that thing, no problem. I'm like, okay, for sure. And I show it to him, and I'm like, you ready to get shocked? He's like, I'm not gonna do it here. I'll do it when we get to the other bar, starlight lounge. And so we go to the starlight lounge, and he's like, all right, buy me a Guinness, and I'll do it. I'm like, okay, bottom of guinness. And I put this thing on his shoulder, and I slowly start to amp it up. Just, you know, watching him start to twitch a bit and just, you know, grin and bear through it. And, you know, by this time, his wife is like, what the fuck is going on? And I show her, you know, what's happening, that I'm shocking her husband. And, like, I eventually, like, get it up to 80, and I take it back down. He's like, dude, this is awful. I'm like, yeah, you're going to suffer through the entire Guinness. You better pound that thing right up to 100. And then other dudes, you know, just mentioned only men noticed this. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:14] Speaker A: What we were doing. Yeah, they all gathered around what's happening here, and I, you know, explain the whole spiel. I got an electric shock thing. It hurts like a bitch. And so we go around in a circle, like, eight of us fucking taking this off, putting it on ourselves, fucking shocking the shit out of ourselves, you know, putting it on our, like, forearms, like, cramping our hand, making retarded hands, putting on our forehead, on our belly, you know, the whole nine yards. [00:14:51] Speaker B: I can do shirtless at the bar. [00:14:53] Speaker A: I can lift up my shirt at the bar. [00:14:56] Speaker B: Was anyone shirtless at the bar? [00:14:58] Speaker A: I've seen plenty of dudes shirtless at. [00:15:00] Speaker B: The bar with the thing on it. [00:15:03] Speaker A: What do you mean? There's no shirtless dudes at the bar? No. [00:15:06] Speaker B: Oh, you guys are putting in all different parts of your body. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, like, you just lift up a sleeve, or you lift up your shirt a bit, put it on. And so, like, we're going around shocking the shit out of each other, and we find the worst, the worst spot of them all, which is the forehead. Do not shock your fucking forehead. It sucked 100%. Like, I could get up to, like, you know, 70% on my forearm. I can get to 7% on my forehead. Yeah, it. It was probably some of the worst pain. And I'm like, this is how you torture somebody. You don't need to break their hands. You just need to strap them to a chair, put the shit on their forehead. They will give you whatever the fuck you want. I guarantee it. Now, my friend Shelby, she put it on the back of her neck, and she's like, I love this. I mean, like, I guess she's like, ah. And I handed her the control. I'm like, I don't want to kill you. And she just, like, holds down on the, like, accelerated to 100. I'm like, okay, yeah, there's something wrong with you, Shelby. It's fine. And she's like, ah. It gets to a hundred. I'm like, all right, Brad, I know what I'm getting you for your wedding present, but, yeah, putting on your forearm just makes you make, like, retarded hands. Like, I thought I. I thought my fingers were gonna break themselves because it just, like, makes your. Your hands spasm weird. Like, just, you know. [00:17:13] Speaker B: You know when electricity was first invented, literally, there were parties of people who would, like, go out and, like, fuck around with the machine and try to shock each other. Like, this has happened before. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Oh. I mean. I mean, this is the exact same shit that happened when I first got a taser. Like, when I first got a little taser, you know, it was, like, at a big r or something like that. I, like, pull it out, and you're like, yo, guys, I got a taser. And then, like, my friend Ziploc comes up, and he's like, go ahead and tase me. I'm like, yo, like, this thing sounds wicked. Like, you don't want to get tased. He's like, tase me, pussy. I'm like, I'm gonna call a pussy fucking taste. I mean, you just, like, took it. He's like, yeah. I'm like, oh, no. And so he, like, takes it out of my hand, starts chasing everyone with the taser. Because that's his right at this point. He has a right to chase people with the taser. He took it. He's like, everyone has to do it. And, yeah, like, the taser is quick, you know, and the little shock pad was longer, and I'm like, I don't know which one's worse. Like, the taser is like, ugh. And then it's over. Like, it locks up your muscles. Yeah. You wouldn't like a taser? [00:18:43] Speaker B: No, I wouldn't. [00:18:47] Speaker A: But yeah, that's the stupidity of men. That that's why women will live longer. And the only reason that my friend Shelby did it is cuz I shocked her husband for a bunch of time. Like ten minutes is just shocking him. So she's like, I can take this. Yeah, went to the mall, had a great time. Are you back for more Mochi? That's right. That's what I thought. Fuck off. It was only 20 minutes. Nice. But onto some fucking news. A passenger in Australia was ordered to pay more than $5,000 in fuel costs after flight being diverted due to bad behavior. And this is not a normal fucking thing that they do, but a 32 year old dude from Western Australia was disruptive on a flight and they headed from Perth to Sydney and they had to dump fuel and turn around and go back to Perth. And he was ordered to pay fucking the $5,806 to the airline and another 6000 just for the fines of fucking fucking around finding out. So it cost them like $12,000 to fuck around on an airplane. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Why don't they have to just dump fuel? [00:20:29] Speaker A: I don't know, like probably wait or something. I'm not an airline. Like if there's any airline pilots that have this information. Cool. Yeah, you have information that I'll never get because, you know, there's not really a way for you to tell me. I mean, you can message me Alex a truck on Instagram, like, well this is. It's a very google able question actually. Let's google it. Why do airplanes have to dump fuel? I'm to reduce weight and make a safe landing. Oh, that's smart. Because the fuel weighs a lot and so they're gonna use that fuel and then by the time they got to fucking Sydney it, the fuel was gonna be used up but they had to dump it on the ground essentially and to make the safe landing because they're able to take off with all the fuel. But landing would probably put too much stress on the suspension. Yeah. So now this dickhead has to fucking pay $12,000. But here's the thing about Australia. There's no video of what he did. No one's saying what he did. No one's giving his name out of. But this is how it should always be. Like, if you want to act a damn fool on a plane, if you want to get on a plane and, you know, fight people or, you know, be obnoxious, it should just cost you $12,000 every fucking time you want to do it. It's like, oh, yeah, no, you can. There's no fucking blacklist, but it's going to cost you a shitload of money. And then people will stop. Once people are like, oh, fuck, there's real consequences to this that can entirely ruin my life. It's like, are you having a bad day? Just go ahead and drive to where you're going, because that fucking, you know, if they think you're being weird, they're gonna kick you off. But, yeah, I mean, it's Australia. He probably said cut way too many times. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Can't they just, like, take. Tape him to a parachute and kick him off the plane and continue their journey? [00:22:59] Speaker A: That would be an awful idea. Just, you know, parachutes cost too much. Just, you know, give him an umbrella, send him on his way. If he marry Poppins to safety, he marry Poppins to safety. And when he dies, that's what that happens. Just like when you fly over a mountain, just, you know, pewdie, you know, inject them out. You know, shoot them straight down, put them in like, one of those carnival cannons, and boom. Just shoot them straight down, splat. Like, we're too nice to, like, everybody in this world. Go ahead and kill a few people. What's the harm? There's no harm in it. Then we got a couple Florida man stories. This. This story is about a dude that was scamming pedophiles for money, and then it turns out that he was a meth addict that was also abusing animals. And I'm like. And like, I guess the pedophiles are like, hey, this guy fucking scammed me. Like, I don't know. Who the fuck would, you know, snitch on each other? Meth heads are the stupidest people on planet Earth. Every time I see one, I'm like, oh, what stupid shit are you gonna do now? Call the police because someone didn't give you enough drugs? Like, this is how every fucking meth head. Meth head does. And this is his face. Just fucking bleached eyebrows, the whole fucking thing. Neck tattoo, of course. Like, when you smoke meth, do you just, like, get a neck tattoo? I feel like I'm doing a solo podcast. Are you okay? [00:25:01] Speaker B: Yes, I'm fine. [00:25:03] Speaker A: My wife just isn't saying shit. Let's go into the next one. Two men busted in Naples after stealing 400 sticks of deodorant. They are a couple brown looking italian dudes. They look stinky. They look like they can use all 400 sticks. [00:25:30] Speaker B: Do they always steal specific brands? [00:25:33] Speaker A: No, they stole every kind of brand. Here's the picture degree. Suave. For women. Gillette, right? Guard. Some more degree, some old spice, you know, suave. [00:25:48] Speaker B: It's kind of stupid how much deodorant costs. That's the good stuff. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Like steal a stick every now and again. Keep it small, put it in your pocket. No one notices. Don't steal 400 at once. But, yeah, Carlos M. Garcia and Nivaldo Garcia, you know, a couple dudes, 40 and 41 years old? Yeah. Since they have crazy fucking, you know, mexican names, I assume they're mexican. [00:26:35] Speaker B: How are they gonna make money off this? [00:26:38] Speaker A: I don't know. I, like, I've never come across a dude selling deodorant, but if he was selling like, yo, man, yo, I got that stick of old spies. Sticks of deodorant. Oh, here. For $2. $2 for a stick of deodorant. I'm like, fuck, okay. Yeah, I can't make $2. Okay. Yeah, you know, never mind. It's a brilliant plan that just went sideways because you got caught being greedy. But yeah, apparently they're doing a string of thefts, of organized retail theft. And honestly, it doesn't matter if you steal from big fucking retailers. Just don't steal from small ones. Publix, Walmart, CV's, Walgreens, and Winn Dixie. Go ahead and steal from them. They're worth billions. Fuck em. Steal from Walmart all you want. You could literally steal an entire store. It will not affect them. Like, Walmart makeshi ridiculous money. The pair told deputies that they're coming from Fort Myers, Florida, a few miles to the north. Suspecting that that was a lie, the pair had just committed retail theft at the Walmart. Deputies reviewed the stores security footage. The video showed him, um, showed Garcia, um, in the personal care section in store, grabbing Gillette razor pack, which he concealed on his person, and then leaving the store without paying. Um, those razor packs are like, $40. Jesus Christ. Never mind. These guys are heroes. Let them free. So apparently they are, like, doing little things at a time, and Walmart just wanted to be a little bit snitchy. Bitch, I fuck you, Walmart. But yeah, no, they're there to stealing, like, personal grooming items. I don't see anything wrong with this. [00:28:49] Speaker B: We're literally living in a dystopia. [00:28:56] Speaker A: Just. Just have, like, you know, a flash mob of people come in with, you know, baklava's on and, you know, a ski mask. You know, have them come in with ski masks on. Just steal everything, you know. No one that works at Walmart gives a shit enough to stop you. There's no one there that's making minimum wage. That's like, I want to get in the way of these people. Then you can just come in, steal everything, walk out the front door, get in your cars, and drive home. Now, if you beat the cops, you're home free. Now, if the cops are already there, you know, you might get fucked. And that, like, that's another thing that pisses me off. It's like, you know, Walmart has, like, the cops in their pocket. Like, they're always there. Like, Walmart should have to hire a security guard on their own dime that has the power to arrest and detain people. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Then that's another type of game. [00:29:59] Speaker A: The Walmart gang. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Except they wouldn't have qualified immunity, so if they did pull you in. Yeah, nothing like. Like that. I make that a game. I'd make that a whole ass game where I just go in and just try and fuck with them and get them to pull me the fuck in. You know? I have nothing. And guess what? You just lost your job. And, like, fuck, it would be a fun game. Are you okay? [00:30:32] Speaker C: Yes. [00:30:34] Speaker A: My wife's just over there, like, being. [00:30:36] Speaker B: Quiet and, like, more high than I thought I was going to be. [00:30:39] Speaker A: Okay. Like. Like, that's the worst. Like, when you're high and you don't want to tell anybody, it's like, I think he knows I'm high. He might know I'm high. [00:30:46] Speaker B: No, I just. This is not the normal level high. I want to be on the podcast. I'm doing my best. [00:30:56] Speaker A: Courtney, are you even still there? Oh, no. Her mic is dead. [00:31:02] Speaker C: I'm so sorry. I thought I was on here the whole time, and, like, my dad's tv was too loud, so I muted it and then went to shut the door, and then I forgot to unmute myself. Oh, my God, I feel so dumb because I've been responding this whole time. Yeah, it's been really weird because you've been pausing exactly when I've responded and then started talking right afterwards as if you responded to what I was saying. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Let's do your space. [00:31:37] Speaker C: It was super fucking weird. Weird. It's weird. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's amazing. [00:31:48] Speaker A: It's like, when you see someone on, like, a bluetooth conversation, just, like, with the earpiece and. And you think they're talking to you, and they're like, hey, man, how you doing? And, like, they're, like, looking at you with. Looking through you, and you're, like, pretty good. How are you? And, like, man, you just a little bitch, aren't you? I'm like, what? I'm not a little bitch. Like, you're just a little bitch. I'm like, dude, you want to fight something? He's like, hold on 1 second. It's a little bitch over here fucking trying to fight me or some shit. What you want? I'm like, oh, you're on the phone. He's like, no, I'm not on the phone at all. Calling you a little bitch. Oh, you have to fight him. But next story. Now that we've solved the mystery of you, you know, courtney not being here. Mississippi, man drives lawnmower to seek help after his home explodes. You know, I like, this is one that I did not read through yet. Carroll County, Mississippi. A man drove his lawnmower to seek help after shit exploded. The explosion happened in Carroll county on Tuesday around 06:30 a.m. probably inside. According to authorities, James Duke was still asleep when the explosion took place. Baller, by the grace of God, he escaped the fire and was able to drive his lawnmower to his brother's house to seek help. Yeah, he has third degree burns. Oh, fuck. Yeah, he got fucked up. A space heater is believed to be the cause. It has been reported that the explosion was felt for miles around. Probably a fucking leaky pipe, but yeah, this was published September 11. Ah. He's like. He just, like, wanted to never forget. Like, people 20 years down the road never forget. I remember 911. It was the worst day of my life. Oh, what happened? It was 911, and the building came crashing down around me. Oh, my God. You were in the twin towers? Twin towers? No, I was at home. My home came crashing down around me. 2024. Oh, well, your 911 sucks. Then tell a better story, nerd. So hopefully some cool shit happened, but I want to know why. He didn't have a fucking car. Or maybe he didn't. The keys were just, like, locked up inside the house that was on fire. [00:34:30] Speaker B: I mean, he also has three degree burns. That doesn't state where, but that's not a very good state of mind. [00:34:36] Speaker A: Also, you probably have a phone, too, dipshit. [00:34:39] Speaker B: That is probably somewhere in the burning house. [00:34:43] Speaker A: That's why you live in the fucking suburbs, because everyone knows if your house is on fire, like. Like if there's a fucking burning rv across the street, your neighbor across the whale, big. Hey, shit's burning over there. Might catch your house on fire, Mike. No, that's not how fire works, but thank you for trying, but I don't want to say that. And jinx it because it would have definitely fucking jinxed it. And here's a. I saw this story earlier this week, and I screenshotted it. Screenshot these next couple stories because they're great. A teenager, a Colorado teenager, is shot while asking permission to take homecoming photos on a property. So apparently what had happened was there's a couple boys, they didn't release the names. They're high school age homecoming. And they were, you know, kind of driving through, like, back fucking hills. And they, like, see, like, this, you know, property that has, like, a lake with a dock on it, and it looks really nice. And so the boys, you know, went to go to the front door, but it was, like, behind the gate. So, you know, they hopped the gate to go knock on the front door to see if they could possibly use this. And there was video cameras there, like, security cameras. And the lady that owns the place saw it, called authorities, and then called her boyfriend to go over there and see what the fuck's going on. And so the boys are, like, inside their truck, like, writing a note to see if they can use the property. And, like, her boyfriend shows up, gets all fucking aggressive. Brent Metz, 38 years old, brandishes a firearm at these boys. You know, it's like, what the fuck are you doing here? Getting all fucking crazy and shit? And shoots one of them in the fucking face. You know, there's two boys in the fucking vehicle, shoots one of them in the face, and he's like, oh, fuck. My gun went off. Accidentally. Got charged with four felonies immediately. And what makes it even worse is he's, like, part of, like, the city council, and they let him out of jail, you know, on a promise that he will, you know, return. It's like, I feel like if you do not show up to, you know, your court and you did something heinous, there should just be, like, a, you know, open season on this person. If you see this person and you bring them in alive, you'll get a certain amount of money. And if you bring them in dead, you'll get a certain amount of money less, but you'll still get some money. And then that way, fucking poor people can go, you know, oh, I know where that guy lives. And then go and kill him. But the government fucking, you know, puts too much value on dumb people's lives. But, yeah, fucking Mets is an elected member of the Mountain View, Colorado town council. Yeah, fuck this guy. Honestly, I hope he gets convicted on every fucking count and has to serve, like, 50 years in goddamn prison. Good news, though. The boy survived. [00:38:30] Speaker B: They let him out on a promise he would come back. [00:38:33] Speaker A: On a promise he'd come back. So, yeah, the kid that he shot in the face survived. If he had died, he wouldn't have gotten out, but he still did shoot him in the fucking face. But, yeah, this was just, like, all a series of unfortunate events, and this has happened multiple fucking times. It's like if someone's breaking into your house, you don't, you know, you can, like, shoot them if they're, like, threatening you, if they're, like, breaking into your house, but if they're, like, sitting in their vehicle outside of your house, you know, not doing anything, you can't out go and approach them and shoot them. Like, this is, you know, where fucking gun nuts fucking lose shit. It's like, oh, well, guess what? Now fucking people can't have cool guns anymore because dumb shits want to go shoot people in the face over nothing. Yeah. Goddess, I hate people like this. Like, what do you think, Courtney? Like, if someone was, like, in your backyard and you have, like, security, you know, cameras back there, you know, doing something, fucking with your chickens or whatever, but not, like, harming them, just like, picking them up, looking at them, whatever. [00:40:03] Speaker C: I'd probably call the copse and just watch them. [00:40:08] Speaker A: Yeah, that's, you know, honestly what you're supposed to, but, like, if someone gets past my front door, you know, I'll give them a chance. I'll leave, you know, if I don't want them here, and if they don't want to leave, then it's like, well, now you can't leave. What? [00:40:28] Speaker C: Well, what would? Honestly, if anyone came through my front door, just thought of a good way. I'd. There's so if I heard someone come in, I'd go down the hallway to the end, grab a fire extinguisher, spray them with the fire extinguisher so they couldn't see, and knock them over the head with a fire extinguisher. [00:40:51] Speaker A: I mean, like, I have a pistol within, you know, fucking grabbing distance right now, you know, like, I have one right here, you know, so if someone does, you know, kick in my front door and I don't hear police immediately, then, you know, it's like, okay, you know, someone wants to die today, you know, and if they start shooting back, well, damn, that sucks. Yeah, hopefully. Fucking dipshit, you know? Brent Metz goes to jail forever. Fuck him. And for my, my favorite story, a jogger was left bloodied, dazed and crying after being mauled by a gang of otters. [00:41:47] Speaker B: Yep. [00:41:49] Speaker A: I didn't know these little fuckers were dangerous at all. I thought they were just cute little sea puppies. [00:41:55] Speaker B: Uh uh. [00:41:55] Speaker A: You know, nothing could happen. They can't do shit to you. [00:41:59] Speaker B: They're predators and they're good predators. They're like cats. [00:42:05] Speaker A: But yeah, she was like all fucking bitten up and scratched the fuck up. She was on like a fucking kayak. [00:42:14] Speaker B: Strength and numbers. Now there's shits. [00:42:23] Speaker A: But yeah, it's like the giant river. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Otter can get up to 6ft. [00:42:28] Speaker A: That's horrifying. [00:42:30] Speaker B: They bully crocodiles, they chase them off. [00:42:36] Speaker A: But, yeah, it's like, yeah, but this was in Malaysia, so like, thank God for little miracles, you know, if this was in America. It's like, oh, I'm carrying a 22 pistol with me and just shooting otters anytime I see him. Oh, no. This victim here has been jogging through a recreational park when she was beset by eight of the beasts. Ah, that sucks. There's like another person that got attacked while like fucking, you know, taking their kayak down the river. And like the otters just came and fucking attacked him. On the otter? On the kayak. [00:43:22] Speaker B: Are they coming near a nest or something? [00:43:24] Speaker A: I don't know. Maybe they're just all territorial ass. Maybe there's assholes. [00:43:30] Speaker B: They're just coming close to the nest. [00:43:34] Speaker A: It's like, I feel like I could kill eight otters. Like no problem. Like, not six foot otters. Like not, not without like a weapon. But like if there's like little fucking, you know, mochi sized otters, I feel like I can take, you know, eight of them. Just fucking start cracking necks, breaking spines, you know, curb stomping, all kinds of shit. You know, they might get a couple scratches, but I feel like I could take them. Like this lady, obviously losses fight and it's embarrassing for her. [00:44:11] Speaker B: The others are much bigger than Mochi. [00:44:17] Speaker A: Okay, well then maybe, maybe I should, you know, stop talking all that good shit. Oh, and just so you know, the circus is coming to town. The Jordan World circus, so. Jordan circus. This is an ad for them. They're not paying me, but I still bought tickets. The first hundred people to get tickets for each event get it for half off. They have a bunch of deals going on right now. On the 17th, are gonna be in, you know, Nevada, Elko, Eli Delta, Utah, Spanish Forks, Cedar City, Selena, price, Eagle, Meeker. And then they're coming to Colorado, Grand Junction, going back to Moab. They're doing Cortez, Durango. So if you're in Durango, Thursday, October 3, you can get fucking tickets to go see the circus. Monte Vista Pueblo on the fifth. That's where we're gonna be, so. And if you want to get in Colorado Springs event and you want to get the first hundred, tough shit. They're already sold the fuck out. They already fucking got the fucking first hundred tickets gone. You now have to pay full price. Idiots. That's what you get for waiting to go to the circus. Guess what? I got mine half off because I didn't wait. And if you have a child, they get to go free with you. You just have to find one of these little coupons. You know? They fucking put them out everywhere. I'm sure you can, like, get them. Just like I had the free coupon for the child, and they're just like, let you in. It's cool. [00:46:13] Speaker B: We're gonna see the acrobats. [00:46:15] Speaker A: No elephants, though. Elephants will not be at this location. [00:46:21] Speaker B: That's like. That's like a does a dog die? Statement right there. [00:46:28] Speaker A: So let's go on to am I the asshole and relationship advice and go ahead and end this episode, but am I the asshole? By Redditor, influencer probably a throwaway. Am I the asshole for firing my sister after she exposed our family's darkest secrets at work? Hi, everyone. I, 28 female, am the founder and CEO of a small tech company that I poured my heart into over the past five years. Six months ago, my younger sister, 24 female, lost her job due to downsizing. Despite our rocky relationship, we're polar opposites. I decided to hire her. I'm introverted and value privacy. She's extroverted and often speaks without thinking. Initially, things went smoothly. She brought enthusiasm to the team, and I was hopeful that this could strengthen our sisterly bond. However, I began noticing. Colleagues began giving me odd looks and whispering when I wasn't around. During a team lunch, one employee casually mentioned a deeply personal family incident, joking about it as if it was common knowledge. I was stunned. I pulled my sister aside and asked if she had been sharing personal family stories. She admitted that she had, saying that it helped her connect with others and that it was no big deal. I stressed that our family's history is private and discussing it at work is unprofessional. She brushed me off, calling me overly sensitive. A couple weeks later, I discovered she told several employees about our parents. Tumultuous. Oh, big word, tumultuous. [00:48:25] Speaker B: I can't say that word. Well done. [00:48:28] Speaker A: Tumultuous. Divorce. And even shared that our mother has struggled with substance abuse. A painful chapter. We've worked hard to move past that wasn't just embarrassing. It felt like a profound betrayal. I confronted her again, but she accused me of trying to control her, saying I was letting my CEO status go to my head. Realizing that she was jeopardizing not only my relationship, but the company's culture, I made the difficult decision to terminate her employment for breaching confidentiality and unprofessional conduct. She was furious, accusing me of choosing work over family and vowing to never forgive me. Our parents are now involved and believe I overreacted. They think I should be more understanding and give her another chance. The whole situation left me questioning myself. I feel guilty for firing her, but also feel like I had to protect my company and personal boundaries. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for firing my sister after she exposed our family's darkest secrets at work? [00:49:39] Speaker B: Absolutely not. The fuck? [00:49:41] Speaker A: Okay, number one, don't fucking hire family. [00:49:44] Speaker B: Do not hire family. There's places where it does work, but those are very rare and require healthy family relationships. Relationships continue. [00:49:53] Speaker A: Like, for instance, me and my best friend, like, we've only, like, good girl, mochi. Like, we've only, like, worked at, like, the same company, but, like, not in the same area. Like. Like, we've never, like, been, like, you know, doing this job, you know, side by side. You know, he'd be off doing some other bullshit and I'd be doing this bullshit and it's like, cool. But, like, if I had a company, you know, like, hiring him would be like, a difficult thing. Like, cuz, like, if you have to fire him, then it's like shit. And then, you know, now your friendship is all rocky because you just fucking fired him. It's like, sucks. That's why you don't have relationships at work. Don't date your subordinates. [00:50:46] Speaker B: Yep. Do not. [00:50:51] Speaker A: But they. They do have an update. Well, let's see what the fucking people say. Not the asshole. You didn't choose work over family at all. She chose to divert, divulge personal slash private information that could damage your reputation and your company's reputation. You chose to get rid of a problematic employee, period. And you did give her a warning. So, yes, update. I reached out to a friend who still works at the company where my sister was previously employed. He confirmed that she was indeed fired, not just because of downsizing she mentioned. According to him, she had a knack for orchestrating gossip and creating conflicts among coworkers. She had spread rumors and stir up drama, which led to a toxic work environment and decreased team morale. Her behavior was disruptive enough that the company decided to let her go to preserve the integrity and productivity of the workplace. Hearing this from someone who was there really reinforces my decision to terminate her employment at my company. It seems her pattern of behavior has constantly caused problems wherever she goes, and I have to prioritize the well being of my team. Thank you for all your continued support and understanding as I navigate this difficult situation. That is some fucking CEO talk if I ever heard it. But, yeah, no, don't. Don't hire your fucking sister. You're dumb. You know, I understand you wanted to, you know, stick up for your baby sister and maybe, you know, have, like, some fantasy where your family and, you know, having a good time doesn't happen. You're dumb. [00:52:37] Speaker B: Op. Sister chose to reject it. It's not op. He was dumb. [00:52:45] Speaker A: Yeah. She wanted to gain points with her coworkers and decided to share private information. Yeah, everyone's saying, you're not the asshole, Opie. You're not the asshole. Your sister is kind of a piece of shit. Just, you know, go. No contact. Go, scorched earth. You know, it's like, hey, you know, guess what? Now you don't have a job. And now guess what? You are the latest reference that she's gonna have to use. Tough. But now into relationship advice. This one is a little weird. By throwaway. My 23 female boyfriend, 26 male's little brother creeps me out, but my boyfriend isn't taking it seriously. I don't know what to do. Hi. I'm not really sure how to handle the situation and I'd appreciate some advice. I, 23 female, have been with my boyfriend, 26 male, for almost three years. We live together. Recently, his parents were arrested. I'd rather not go into details. And as a result, his little brother, eleven male, has had to move in with us. I understand the situation is complicated and my boyfriend didn't really have a choice. Obviously, he couldn't just leave his brother with nowhere to go. The thing is, I find his little brother creepy, and I feel horrible even saying that. I know he's a kid and he's gone through a traumatic experience, but some of the things he does make me feel really uncomfortable. For instance, he stares at me a lot. Like almost all the time when we're in the same room. I'd catch him just watching me. It's unsettling. He also has the habit of walking into our bedroom without knocking, especially when my boyfriend is out. I've told him multiple times that he needs to knock, but either he ignores it or. Or just doesn't care. He will shower and use the restroom with the door wide open, clearly so everyone can see what he's seeing when he's walking past, even though I told him he needs to keep the door closed while he's in there. One time, I had just gotten out of the shower and was in my towel when I walked into the bedroom, and he was just standing there staring at me. I asked what he was doing, and he didn't even answer. Kept staring before finally walking away. I brought this up to my boyfriend, but he brushed it off, saying his brother is probably just adjusting to everything and doesn't mean any harm. I lent in my laptop because he needed it for some homework, and when I got back, it was completely filled with porn. Like, he had. Like he had downloaded porn. It was in the search history. I told my boyfriend he needed to speak with him, but my boyfriend says it's normal for a boy his age. He just told me to clear the search history and delete what he's downloaded, but he's not being normal. He's weirding me out, and I feel bad even saying it. I get this kid is dealing with a lot. Losing his parents is traumatic, but at the same time, I feel like my feelings are being dismissed. My boyfriend says I'm overreacting, but honestly, I feel really uncomfortable in my own home now. I can't even. Now I even find myself avoiding being alone with his brother because it just feels weird. I don't know if I'm overreacting. Like, I understand, you know, giving some leeway because everything that's happened in his life, but it's really weirding me out. Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. [00:56:28] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Op. [00:56:29] Speaker A: Leave. [00:56:30] Speaker B: Please don't do that to yourself. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Well, get this kid into some fucking therapy. [00:56:37] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what needs to happen. Some therapy. [00:56:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, it. [00:56:41] Speaker C: Like, the therapist should be aware of your. The woman's worries, and maybe the therapist will be able to see if it's dangerous or not, if they need to be separated or something. [00:56:55] Speaker A: You know? Like, the kid hasn't done anything, but. [00:57:01] Speaker B: He hasn't done anything. He's fucking creepy. [00:57:04] Speaker A: Yeah, he's being a little fucking creep for sure, but, you know, you're right. Now he's at, like, the fucking crossroads, and, you know, he's going down the wrong path, but you can just kind of nudge him and just get on the right path, and it's not, you know, not too late, you know, especially for a child. You know, the parents got arrested. They don't want to go into why they got arrested, but, you know, obviously you didn't have a great home life. And, hey, you know, there's a fucking creepy kid here now. [00:57:39] Speaker B: I mean, I wouldn't move out until the brother's behavior improved. [00:57:47] Speaker A: I mean, just, you know, get hit locks on your door. You know, like, get, get house locks. I know, but, you know, criminal kids, you know, like, it's learned behavior. It sucks. Let's hit the comments. Say this kid needs therapy. Like, this is way beyond what you should be getting advice online for. I know he's just a kid now, but what happens in a few years from now? This behavior is not normal. None of what you describe as even close to normal. For a boy this age, therapy and it might take a while to find a good therapist is really your only option. You know, get a lock for the door and get that kid in therapy discussing things like boundaries and healthy relationships. And I, you know, what they are, what they mean. Yeah. I mean, kids going through some trauma, you know, and if this doesn't work, if you decide that you don't want to be a part of it anymore, you can walk away. Yes. You know, no one will fucking be like, oh, you're a terrible person. It's not your kidde. Shouldn't be your responsibility. Um, so, yes, you can, you know, decide, I don't want no part of this, and just fucking walk away and leave your boyfriend with his little brother. Or you can, you know, change, you know, history. [00:59:35] Speaker B: I'd move on. I don't care how callous that makes me sleep. [00:59:38] Speaker A: Of course you would move on. You know, if you had kids, I would never dated you. [00:59:44] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:59:45] Speaker A: Yeah, like, I know that that makes me sound like a bad person, but. But it's like, hey, you know, lady, if you have kids, I don't want to fucking date you. I don't want to fucking take on more responsibility. I don't want to fucking be like, hey, like, you know, good job to all those men that fucking, you know, took a chance. My dad was one of those people. My mom had a kid, me, and he decided to date her anyway. They eventually got married and then divorced, but, you know, he fucking stepped up, and he's like, okay, I'll do this. Fine. But me personally, nah, you know, I can't be that selfless. [01:00:29] Speaker B: I would not be a good mother. [01:00:33] Speaker A: Like, I enjoy my cats because they can't, you know, talk to me, just. Just telepathically communicate, but, oh, yeah, perfect. Timing, dude. Jesus. Bam. Like, slid right in the home base. But that. That's it for this episode. That's it for this week. I know, like, the beginning was like, a rambling, you know, ADHd mess usually is. It's stream of consciousness. I don't. I should start writing stuff down. I should start, you know, like, having notes, you know, written down. Like, what am I going to talk about? You know, the bullet points. But no, I got home today, went to the mall, came here, recorded. So my wife is very happy. She got some plushie, she got a wind chime, and I got a coloring. [01:01:30] Speaker B: Book, and I got silly earrings, and I got a. And I got a new. And I got a new night shirt. [01:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a dude in the weed store that, you know, is very polite, you know, and called over to us and, you know, made, you know, good conversation, you know, like, as a good salesman, he's like, just come on in. You know, I'm like, asked politely, so I'm like, okay, you know, I'll give you a shot. And he made a couple sales. So that's how you do it. You don't be aggressive. And I walked past this place that had, like, airsoft, and there's just, like, an aggressive looking man outside. Just, I'm like, I don't want to go in there. But there is a rage room, which we will do one of these days. [01:02:20] Speaker B: Yes. [01:02:22] Speaker A: Yes, a rage room. Yeah. Well, so you, like, pay $80 for, like, a half an hour just getting up to be able, like, destroy shit. Yeah. [01:02:35] Speaker B: And also you can, like, donate your old, like, equipment to them for them to use as part of the space mushrooms. [01:02:41] Speaker A: Yeah, they'll take all your e waste. [01:02:44] Speaker B: Yeah. That was fucking amazing. [01:02:46] Speaker A: So. But when we do that, we'll fucking let you know. We might even record it and just fucking put it up on instagram. Just, you know, me destroying shit. [01:03:00] Speaker B: Yep. [01:03:02] Speaker A: You know, it's like, hey, divorce men, here's a rage room. It's like. It's just drywall. It's like drywall you can punch holes through. Like, oh, my God. They're like, here's a monster. Shrink this. Punch holes. Oh, my God. This is made for me. My name is Kyle. Every Kyle drinks monsters and punches holes through drywall. [01:03:28] Speaker B: I know they do. For a second. I forgot. [01:03:32] Speaker A: Puts his head on backwards like Ash ketchum. Just whoop a cha. Punch, punch, punch. That'd be a great fucking video. Like a great skit, you know? Rage room for kyles. Just a line out the door. Free monster and all the fucking drywall you can punch. Oh, shit. I'm gonna. I'm gonna punch more holes than you. You can punch like, a bunch of them are just cops, too. I might use that in the comedy bit. But thank you all. So, you know all that shit. Whatever. Love you. Follow me on instagram. Alex truck. Bye.