Pardon Me

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alright, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We are here with everyone again. Courtney, myself, Alex, a truck, and my wife. [00:00:12] Speaker B: Not truck. [00:00:13] Speaker A: She doesn't drive trucks. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Do you think I should drive a truck? [00:00:17] Speaker A: I don't think you should drive at all. I think Saudi Arabia is right. [00:00:23] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. I drive fine. [00:00:26] Speaker A: You are terrifying. [00:00:28] Speaker B: No, she drives the way people drive in California. Like, she's driving the way that matches other drivers. Like, you're supposed to drive like a californian. [00:00:36] Speaker A: You might as well have your camera app open. That way you can look through your fucking phone and actually see the road. [00:00:43] Speaker C: Oh, my God, that'd be amazing. [00:00:48] Speaker A: I'm sure there's people that do that just, you know, are on their phone. Just have, like, the camera app up in the side and be like, hey, look, I can still see the road. There's no problem here. Hey, we're doing fine. [00:01:00] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [00:01:03] Speaker A: What? I mean, I don't really give a shit if people fucking, you know, use their phones, but. [00:01:12] Speaker C: I can do it myself. But I'll bring it to you. Okay, sorry. [00:01:19] Speaker A: And that. That is her grandma? [00:01:23] Speaker C: No, it's Donna. I forgot to tell Donna I was doing the podcast and she wants me to do her obsembic. [00:01:31] Speaker A: Does that stuff actually work? I've heard about it. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Do what? [00:01:33] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know. [00:01:34] Speaker A: It's a weight loss drug. It's like an injectable. [00:01:37] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Like, I have to do this real quick. [00:01:41] Speaker A: Go do that. [00:01:41] Speaker B: All right. [00:01:42] Speaker C: Okay. I'll be back. [00:01:43] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:01:46] Speaker A: I can't tell the difference between old lady voices. Like, once you hit a certain age of old lady, you know, there's only, like, black and white. The black has a bit of sass in it, you know, and the white will either have racism or fucking sweetness. That's it. That's. That's the only difference. There's only three old lady voices that exist. [00:02:10] Speaker B: What's the third one? You only described two. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Black, sassy, racist lady and sweet lady. Okay, so, like, Betty white, sweet lady, you know, fucking, um, Kamala Harris, black lady. [00:02:28] Speaker B: We were so close. [00:02:31] Speaker A: We're so close to what all. [00:02:34] Speaker B: Okay, President Biden had one job to do, and that was to die so we could have Kamala Harris. [00:02:41] Speaker A: You women just want, like, another pussy in the fucking White House. You already have one. [00:02:45] Speaker B: No, we need more. We need equality, 50 50. [00:02:49] Speaker A: You don't need any equality. You already have the right to vote. And apparently not enough of you voted for a woman in the first place, even though you're, like, half the population. And you can convince any man with a blowjob, but you didn't want to do that. [00:03:03] Speaker B: I did my part, and I. And it failed. [00:03:06] Speaker A: Do you fucking suck my dick and be like, vote fucking Hillary? No, you didn't. [00:03:11] Speaker B: I would never suck your dick. In order for you to choose a political person. [00:03:17] Speaker A: I would lie to you. [00:03:17] Speaker B: It's not a good reason for a blowjob. [00:03:19] Speaker A: I lied to you so hard. I'd be like, of course I voted for Hillary, babe. [00:03:23] Speaker B: I don't care who you vote for. [00:03:26] Speaker A: Donald Trump, obviously. [00:03:28] Speaker B: Again, I don't care who you vote. [00:03:29] Speaker A: For, because it's gonna be hilarious to see him get fucking indicted with, like, a bunch of charges and then become president and then fucking pardon himself. He'll get up. The first things he'll say on stage will be like, excuse me, I'm pardoned. I'm the greatest pardoner. In fact, everyone's pardoned. Everyone that's in prison, you're all pardoned. You're all gonna go back out on the street. Crackhead, murderer, rapist. I don't care. You're all free. And it's just gonna be pandemonium. He's just gonna be sitting there signing fucking, you know, presidential fucking pardons nonstop. I wonder if he can just, you know, like, make a decree back, everyone's free. That'd be cool. [00:04:20] Speaker B: Would it, though? [00:04:22] Speaker A: I mean, no, it honestly sucked. Is there's. There's a lot of good people in prison. Yes, unfortunately, I'm not saying innocent people. No one's innocent. I'm saying good. Is your fucking shit making noise for a second? Yeah, yeah, there are good people in prison. You know, people that want to do better, people that are in prison for, you know, legitimate reason, but, you know, like, that dude that fucking, you know, shot his kids. Like, rapist. I'm like, dude. Yeah, no, that. You should not be in fucking prison at all. Like. Like, if you fucking, you know, handle some shit like that. If you do, if you protect your kid as a father or as a parent in general, I don't think you should go to fucking prison, especially if the other person did something to your kid. You know, I feel like that should just be. I was being a parent, you know, tough. And then guess what? You know, you're free. Let all those people go. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Let my people go. [00:05:27] Speaker A: And then, you know, how about this? Just be like, the only people that are in prison, you know, are, like, you know, murderers and, like, rapists and, like, truly, like, you know, evil people and, like, just put those people in prison, and then, like, don't fucking put gates, don't put protections for them. And, like, if you say the wrong thing while you're fucking in that box with a bunch of other angry dudes, you know, you're gonna get killed. Just like a fucking, you know, battle royale. And then when it's your day to get out, we call out your name, you come up front, get into a box, and we release you back out into the world with a brand of what you did. It's like, murderer, rapist. [00:06:15] Speaker B: Just m and r. Oh, not the full words. [00:06:20] Speaker A: I mean, it'd be a really. It'd be a brand, like, yeah, some. [00:06:25] Speaker B: More letters, the better. [00:06:28] Speaker A: What, like fucking girl with a dragon tattoo like, type shit. [00:06:32] Speaker B: I thought that was. What is that even about? Do you know what it's about? [00:06:38] Speaker A: It's. It's a very. [00:06:40] Speaker B: So you don't know what it's about? [00:06:43] Speaker A: I do. It's complicated. [00:06:45] Speaker B: It's complicated. Those are the words you can use to describe it. [00:06:49] Speaker A: Fine, I'll have you watch the fucking movie. [00:06:52] Speaker B: I thought it was an anime. [00:06:53] Speaker A: No, no, it's very much a movie. And a book. [00:06:57] Speaker C: And a book. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Have you read it, Courtney? [00:07:00] Speaker C: No. [00:07:03] Speaker A: But, like, my favorite scene is when, you know, she gets that guy and fucking, like, you know, tattoos on his fucking forehead. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Face. [00:07:11] Speaker C: No. [00:07:11] Speaker B: Cool. I wish they were acceptable in the workforce. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Oh, like, rapist pig, you know, on his forehead. [00:07:18] Speaker B: Oh, that's where it's supposed to go? [00:07:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, shit like that should just be like, boom, boom, boom. And then just like, if you do, like, some, you know, truly despicable crime, it should just be, like, somewhere where, you know, every. Like, you know, in other countries where they chop off your arm if you are a thief, it's like, oh, well, that guy is missing an arm, you know? So either the Americans blew it off or he stole something. And so, like, that. That's what we should do. Like, we should get rid of cruel and unusual punishment. Like, we should allow the cruel and unusual punishment to come flowing back in, especially unusual ones. I want a creative judge. [00:08:06] Speaker B: I just want capital punishment back. [00:08:11] Speaker A: I want a colosseum. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Do you want to go? [00:08:16] Speaker A: What? [00:08:17] Speaker B: To the coliseum? [00:08:18] Speaker A: I've been to the colosseum. [00:08:19] Speaker B: Was it cool? [00:08:21] Speaker A: It's underwhelming. [00:08:22] Speaker B: Ah, that's sad. But also, it's so fucking old. What do you expect it to be? Like? [00:08:31] Speaker A: It's, like, as big as they would, you know, show it in the movies where it's like, holy shit, that's like, eight football fields. In the movies, it's like a football. [00:08:43] Speaker B: Field I kind of figured could only be so large. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Yeah, but, like, in the. You know, in the movies, we, like, see, like, chariots going straight for, like, ten minutes and then, you know, turning around and, you know. But, yeah, that's. I feel like in America, it would take Mexicans, like, a week to make. [00:09:07] Speaker B: It to make the coliseum. Yeah, what would they make it out of? [00:09:12] Speaker A: Concrete. Concrete and bricks. [00:09:14] Speaker B: Like, good concrete or bad concrete? [00:09:17] Speaker A: There's only good concrete. [00:09:19] Speaker B: There was bad concrete, too. [00:09:22] Speaker A: I mean, if you don't know how to, like, reinforce your concrete. But then. Yeah, but get a group of, like, ten Mexicans, they can get it done in a week. I'm like, yeah, I mean, like, maybe not like all the fucking, you know, finer details, but, you know, like, a rough, like, fucking outline with everything there. Yeah, I feel like as long as they don't have any fucking white boys in the crew, I'll just sit there and be like, hi, my name is Kyle. I'm gonna drink monster and then text my girlfriend over here and then fucking take a break in the fucking Porta John. You know? I don't know why people hate Mexicans. They're the hardest fucking workers, and that's why I'm not a Mexican. [00:10:09] Speaker B: They have such good food. [00:10:11] Speaker A: They have good food. They're fucking the nicest goddamn people. They're just kind of untrusting fucking outsiders. [00:10:23] Speaker B: I was gonna make Mexican this weekend. [00:10:26] Speaker A: I mean, they'll sit there and be like, what do you want? Who are you? You know? I fucking worked for all my shit. And then they'll be like, the Mexicans are here taking all our jobs, and it's like, really? Are you gonna go arc out in the fields and pick lettuce? [00:10:45] Speaker B: Damn straight. [00:10:48] Speaker A: You know? Are you gonna do all the fucking jobs that no one else wants to do? Mexicans are great. They're hilarious. And I like how my wife is just, like, playing a game. Just. [00:11:04] Speaker B: I'm grinding. Okay? It's gonna take, like, uh. I ha. I was an idiot, and I lost all my hard work, so I'm grinding right now. [00:11:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I just play call of duty. [00:11:17] Speaker B: You think that makes you cool? [00:11:18] Speaker A: No, I know it makes me, like, the fucking dickhead Kyle that drinks his monsters and fucking hides out in the Porta John. So I know I'm not a fucking, you know, a true Mexican. Also, I don't speak Spanish. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Kyle's a blue collar name. [00:11:31] Speaker A: Kyle's a white trash name. [00:11:33] Speaker B: That's what I thought. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Oh, like. Like, Connor. [00:11:37] Speaker B: Oh. [00:11:42] Speaker A: It'S like, I saw a post the other day. It's like, why do fucking black people have a bunch of, like, creative names and it comes back to, like, their ancestry and shit? I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, that's very fucking cool. [00:11:57] Speaker B: That's why we still have names like Ruth and Cassandra and Tiffany. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah, those are all white names. [00:12:05] Speaker B: Yeah. But we have our own version, which survived. Like, this name has continued for many generations, which is cool. [00:12:14] Speaker A: So, like, if you name your kid Matt, they're gonna, like, work in, like, the automotive industry or become a fucking stand up comedian. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Oh, I was thinking more lawyer voids for Matt. [00:12:25] Speaker A: For Matt. No, if you name him, like, I have a friend. His name is Matt, but with one T. M a t. Matt. [00:12:36] Speaker B: How do you spell it? M a t t. No, that's like a hair mat. Like a clump on a cat. You shave mats off because they can't groom themselves. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, you know, you can give your kid a professional name, like Andrew. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Ew. [00:12:53] Speaker A: Doesn't matter. It's a professional fucking name. [00:12:55] Speaker B: That's gross. No, it's not. It's one of my brother's middle names. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Or Scott. You know? If you name your kid Hank, they're gonna work in a truck. Like, let's just be honest. [00:13:09] Speaker B: So for me, if I meet someone named Scott, I'm gonna go with Scotty. Cause, you know. [00:13:13] Speaker A: No. Okay, so here's the thing for, you know, y's at the end of names for a kid. That's fine. [00:13:21] Speaker B: I'm talking about an ie, not a y. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Those are different, you know, Scotty. You know, as a kid. Hey, Scotty. What's going on there? You know? And then, you know, you grew up. I'm Scott. You know, it's like. [00:13:38] Speaker B: No, you're Scotty because of Star Trek. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Hey, I'm Timmy. I'm Tim. [00:13:43] Speaker B: Timmy fell down the well, you know. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Hey, I'm Bobby. I'm Robert. You know, see it. You lose your. Why when you grow up? [00:13:56] Speaker B: My grandma's still called my grandpa Bob Bobby. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah. That's because she's a sweet old lady. [00:14:07] Speaker B: I love my grandma. [00:14:09] Speaker A: Yeah, she's not the, you know, she's the, you know, the Betty white, not racist. Very sweet. Loving. Mmm. What? You think she's racist? [00:14:21] Speaker B: She can't. She can be at times. [00:14:24] Speaker A: She gets to be a little bit at times. [00:14:26] Speaker B: But the fact that she did, she's more sexist than anything else. [00:14:30] Speaker A: The fact that she didn't, you know, stand up, call me the n word when she first saw me is like really good news. I'm like, proud of her for that. I'm like, good job. [00:14:40] Speaker B: I'm so happy you met my grandpa before he died. [00:14:46] Speaker A: Like back in the day, back when it was very uncool to be, you know, not racist, you know, and those people are like, I'm gonna marry a black man. It's like, oh shit, you're gonna lose everything for love. And I respect those people. Like the people that went to Trinidad, Colorado, I don't know, to something fucking plugged. I don't know, to go and fucking, you know, get like gender reassignment surgery when it was very fucking unpopular. It's like you'd lose your job, you'd lose everything, you'd lose your whole family, your whole idea identity to be who you want to be. And you'd have to start over from scratch. And when you start over from scratch, people, you know, unanimously hated you. It's like, you know, good for you, I respect you. And now people are like, I'm gay because it's the popular thing to do. It's like, do you have a boyfriend? It's like, well, no. It's like, have you ever had a boyfriend? Well, no, I just want the title for the clout. It's like, fuck off. It's like I was born being brown and I've been called some racist shit to my face and it's hilarious. I enjoy, you know, watching just racist people be like, this fucking brown. Like, and people are like, oh, your childhood must have been awful. I've been called racist shit as suit, like, like a month ago. And it's fine. Like, I'll be checking into a hotel and there'll be like a local guy there. And if you're local to a hotel in your hometown, you're like, hey, I need to stay at this hotel. You know, sometimes they can overlook certain scenarios, but most of the time they'll require an extra deposit because you already live in the town. Why do you need a hotel? Kind of shady. Probably a crackhead. And so, like, this guy was, you know, getting charged that, you know, the $300. [00:17:20] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:17:21] Speaker A: And he was like super duper fucking mad. He's like, ugh, you let people like that fucking stay in here. And then he realizes that both me and the guy standing behind the counter, Matt, are both fucking native dudes and we both, I outweigh him by like a hundred pounds. I'm like, like, I bet you I could just beat the shit out of him. And I just gave him a look, like, really, motherfucker? I'm like, I can pay it. I can pay it right now. I can pay it with my pocket change. And, you know, he, like, got all ashamed and fucking left. Never came back good. And then me and Matt just, like, fucking made fun of him. Frank. An hour just fucking. He wasn't even there to defend himself. Yeah. I'm like, oh, but it's like, yeah, go ahead and be ignorant. Go ahead and say ignorant shit. You know, it's fine, you know? Like, if someone calls you the n word on the Internet, it doesn't count. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Why not? [00:18:32] Speaker A: Because you don't see them. [00:18:34] Speaker B: What? That makes no sense. Words are words. [00:18:42] Speaker A: No, not on the Internet. If you get offended by shit that you see on the Internet, you're kind of a pussy. [00:18:55] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, guys. They keep on. [00:19:01] Speaker A: I like how Courtney is, like, just, like, wildly grossy well, no, it's just. [00:19:10] Speaker C: I don't know if you heard, but my dad's, like, outside my bedroom door. Are you in there? And I'm like, dad, I'm doing the podcast. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Yeah, if you need to go take care of him, go ahead and take care of him. [00:19:21] Speaker B: He does this shit on purpose. [00:19:22] Speaker A: Does he? [00:19:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Maybe I should make, like, a christian podcast. We're doing a christian podcast about God today. [00:19:30] Speaker C: No, thank. No. [00:19:37] Speaker A: I feel like he, like, Courtney, like, listened without headphones one time, and, like, you know, he heard, like, some of the horrid shit I say on the daily. And he's like, she can't be a part of that. There's no way. [00:19:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that's why I haven't told him anything about the podcast at all. [00:19:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, he's gonna listen to it on his chair. [00:20:01] Speaker C: Yeah, no, not happening. [00:20:04] Speaker A: They should just, like, add more technology to, like, you know, the fucking chairs. Like, you know, like, have, like, an ability to, like, stand up so it, like, holds you in, but, like, stands you up so you can reach stuff on, like, a top shelf. [00:20:18] Speaker B: That'd be so much better for people like that. [00:20:21] Speaker A: Like, I want to, like to see. [00:20:22] Speaker C: What are you. [00:20:25] Speaker A: It's hilarious. [00:20:27] Speaker B: No, seriously, he can be real. He can be a dick sometimes, if not all the time. [00:20:33] Speaker A: I mean, I like him. I feel like we just, like, bond on our love of Trump. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Oh, God. Yeah. My dad was so bummed. [00:20:46] Speaker A: You don't think he's still gonna get in? He's definitely getting in. He's a hundred percent getting in. Fucking, you know, a bunch of retarded Trump supporters are gonna run to his donation page and pay, you know, his entire shit. Fucking retarded people go in and fucking bail fucking Elon musk out. [00:21:05] Speaker B: They did. [00:21:06] Speaker A: I'm sure they did. [00:21:08] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:21:12] Speaker A: You know, all these fucking Tesla bros are like, yeah, I have a Tesla. I'm saving the planet. I'm like, yeah, by cobalt mining. That's cool. It's like, go ahead and fucking, you know, do some research before you fucking start flipping off on how you're saving the planet. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:31] Speaker A: If you want to save the planet, walk to work barefoot. But, no, people don't actually give a shit about saving the planet. I don't? Not at all. Not in the slightest. I honestly hope that the fucking planet explodes like the last day of life. It's like the planet is on the verge of exploding. I'm like, ugh. And then it just explodes. Takes out the fucking moon in the moon. Yeah, the moon's actually pretty fucking close. What not. And I was thinking, yeah, we, like, satellites are only, like, you know, 14 miles up. [00:22:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. There's a lot of them. [00:22:25] Speaker A: That's why I liked WAll E. I'm like, oh, fucking. If we. If we keep on going, that's gonna be the most accurate bullshit we've ever seen. [00:22:34] Speaker B: Of course it's accurate. Where else do you think we're gonna be in the future? [00:22:37] Speaker A: In a spaceship? Fat fucking looking at screens. [00:22:46] Speaker C: My freaking jaw hurts, guys. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Courtney got her wisdom teeth pulled. [00:22:52] Speaker C: Yes, I did. [00:22:54] Speaker A: Oh, well, that. That. You fucking ruined me. You know, putting up, like, a blowjob joke. But I'm like, she doesn't really, you know, give up blowjobs, so it doesn't really work. [00:23:05] Speaker B: Standards. [00:23:07] Speaker A: See, for, like, all my dude friends, like, we, like, make fun of each other all day long. Be like, dude, fucking. Oh, my jaw hurts. I. You fucking out there sucking dicks all day long. Maybe you just stop sucking dick and start studying and just making fun of them and just call each other gay. It's like, I can't hear you. You know? It's like, oh, did you have your gay blocker on? I did. Holy shit, now I can hear you. Maybe don't talk with the list next time. I hate that word list because you can't say it without, you know, having a listen. [00:23:48] Speaker B: I thought that was the point of it. [00:23:51] Speaker A: It's the worst. And, like, people that have the fucking disease, like, I feel like the scientists that make these, like, disease names, like, just make it to fuck with them. [00:24:01] Speaker B: No, they get to name it after themselves. [00:24:03] Speaker A: There's no fucking, like, John Lisp. That fucking created the lisp. [00:24:08] Speaker B: I thought you were talking about scientific studies, not phonetics. [00:24:11] Speaker A: Yeah, like the fucking. The fear of long words. Let me see what the fear of long words is. Because it's a long fucking word. Like, what is the fear of long words? Yeah. Look at that fucking hippo. [00:24:30] Speaker B: People can be afraid of long words. Yes, but long words are the best. Once you're. Once you've hit four syllables or more, it's nice. [00:24:41] Speaker C: Oh, God. That's so weird. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Yeah, the hippo pot monstro esque. It's like a bunch of fucking letters. [00:24:59] Speaker C: That's not. [00:25:00] Speaker B: Is that real? [00:25:01] Speaker A: That's real. That is a hundred percent real. [00:25:03] Speaker B: What? There's no way there are people out there who are scared of long words. [00:25:10] Speaker A: Yes, there's people. There's people that are afraid of olives. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Okay, well, olives are gross. [00:25:17] Speaker C: What? [00:25:18] Speaker B: Yeah, they're nasty. [00:25:21] Speaker A: No, there was a show. It was, like, one of those reality shows, so it could have been faked. It's probably fake, but it was the greatest shit ever. She was. It was a lady that was afraid of olives because they reminded her of dead people's eyes. [00:25:38] Speaker B: I said that. [00:25:41] Speaker A: And, you know, the host of the show's like, bring out the olives. And she starts freaking out, and a giant jar of olives comes out. It made for great tv back in the day. Like, tv was a fucking wonderful landscape. Pack in, like, the nineties and early two thousands. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:04] Speaker A: And then we're like, let's give women rights and let. Let's listen to fucking other people that get offended by this shit. You know? Let. Let's listen to the fucking people that think that, you know, violent video games are the reason for school shootings. It's like, how about this? You fucking let the kids get bullied, and then, you know, they'll, you know, grow a little, you know, a pair. Like, oh, yeah, I don't give a shit. But, like. Like, I was bullied. I was bullied relentlessly. And now I'm a tougher man because of it. I'm not sitting here fucking crying and being, I need a mental health day. But if you need one, go ahead and take one, but don't. But don't fucking, you know, make your whole life about that big. I can't work because the workplace is too toxic. Okay, then, you know, you need to figure out a way to make money because we're not gonna take care of you. Like, I see, like, a bunch of fucking people now that didn't develop any skills, you know, lived off of mommy and daddy. Then mommy and daddy died or fucking said, fuck you. And now they're, like, homeless on the street, fucking, you know, sucking dick for money. [00:27:25] Speaker B: Are they making good money? [00:27:26] Speaker A: No, they're making drug money. [00:27:29] Speaker B: Is drug money good money? [00:27:32] Speaker A: No. [00:27:34] Speaker B: What's a good amount? What. What is it? What kind of amount is. How much is drug money? Like, what is that? [00:27:39] Speaker A: $80. [00:27:40] Speaker B: $80? [00:27:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:27:42] Speaker B: How much can you get for $80? [00:27:46] Speaker A: It depends on where you're at. Like an eight ball of coke. But, you know, you can get like an ounce of weed for that. Maybe even 2oz out here in Colorado, which upsets me to no end. The fact that it's so goddamn cheap. It's like, oh, now it's. I paid a $100 an ounce, 150 for a good ounce, and I could almost gotten like a fucking quarter pound. [00:28:26] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:28:28] Speaker A: For that. Of good weed. Yeah, y'all fucking kids nowadays have it too fucking easy. And I honestly, I fucking see these kids and like, no, you don't even remember the hard times. There's a saying that goes, hard times or hard people make easy times. Easy times make soft people. Soft people make hard times. So it's just a fucking, you know, roundabout. I can see that, where fucking, you know, we make it easier, and then now it's just a bunch of softies, and we're in the time of the soft fucking people. And, you know, everyone gets offended. I'm offended by South park. Don't watch it then. If it offends you, do not watch it. [00:29:22] Speaker B: That's literally it. [00:29:23] Speaker A: That's okay. There's, like, fucking mothers against porn. And I'm like, don't watch it then. You know, if you don't like it, don't watch it. You know, I I don't like, you know, seeing children get hurt, so I don't watch videos of children getting hurt. [00:29:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:43] Speaker A: There's a whole Instagram page for, you know, kids getting hurt. Some of it's funny. And some of it's like, oh, no, that poor kid. Mostly it's them, like, falling off of scooters. And that's funny. That's fine. [00:29:59] Speaker B: It is funny. [00:30:02] Speaker A: You know, or like, they're. They'll be on, like, a fucking skate park and they'll fucking, like, be in the middle of the bowl, just, you know, randomly fucking skating around and fucking adding an extra layer of difficulty for just skating around in the skate park because their parents don't want to fucking pay attention to them. They just want to sit there and read their smut books on the bench until their kid gets you hurt. And they're like, why did you do that? It's like, why did you not pay attention to your fucking kid? Dumb Karen bitch. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Also, kids should be allowed to fall and get up and get back up for themselves. [00:30:38] Speaker A: I mean, I really like the videos of where like a dad will like, go and like, not hurt their kid, but you know, like, oh, no, no. Oh. And then the kid starts crying. I'm like, fucking faking piece of shit. But then like, you'll see like, the kid, like, you know, trip over a smack his head and the like, you good? The kids like, yeah, I'm good. I'm gonna go file my taxes now. [00:31:04] Speaker B: You should learn to fall. [00:31:06] Speaker A: I mean, that. That's what I did. I learned to fucking take care of myself. And now here I am. [00:31:15] Speaker B: I took one gymnastics class once when I was a kid and the first thing they taught was. The first thing they taught us was how to fall. And so I know so when I trip and fall, like, I do pretty good. I'm really good at tripping and landing in a full lotus position. [00:31:34] Speaker A: I mean, like, I don't fall cuz I'm fucking competent and walking. [00:31:39] Speaker B: I am not competent at walking. [00:31:41] Speaker A: It's pretty. Pretty goddamn easy to walk. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Not for me. [00:31:51] Speaker A: But let's go ahead and get into some news stories. We did 30 minutes of fucking. Just jibber jabbering. So guess what? All you fucking poor pieces of shit. The FCC is ending affordable Internet for everyone. So they had like, the Internet affordability program or whatever that fucking bullshit was. The affordable connectivity program which helped low income Americans get online. So, like, I. Well, I took care of the bills, but they're like, they sent me emails all the time. Like, are you a poor piece of shit? I'm like, no, I don't. I don't need your help. I'd love your help, but I don't need your help. I mean, if you want to fucking throw me some bones, I'll take some bones. But. But during COVID like, there's a bunch of kids that had to go and get, you know, do school at home. Yeah, so the Internet or the government was like, hey, if you're poor, we'll pay for your Internet. Or, you know, give you some money towards your Internet. And so now a bunch of kids are able to get online, you know, and do schoolwork at home and, you know, dude did nothing for the fucking COVID epidemic. But, you know, they tried and now they're ending this. Like, you know, fuck this. We don't have enough money to fucking, you know, pay for all your Internet. And here's the fucking shitty part. The Internet's like fucking soda. The fucking, you know, profit margins are huge for fucking delivering Internet. It costs nothing to give you the Internet. [00:33:30] Speaker B: So were they just. So were they just not given the funding or were they like, they actually ran out of money? [00:33:38] Speaker A: The program officially ends on June 1. Yeah, they just. The government didn't have any money. [00:33:45] Speaker B: No. The government said no to giving them money. [00:33:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:50] Speaker B: There's a difference between saying no money or saying, no, I'm not going to give you money. What's the difference? [00:33:55] Speaker A: They didn't have money to. They wanted to fucking, you know, shoot off more missiles, so they. They shot off three more missiles and cut that program. [00:34:03] Speaker B: That's precisely what they did. [00:34:07] Speaker A: And then they shot them at targets, too, I'm sure. But, yeah, the, you know, it's fine if you cannot afford Internet, that. That's tough. Go to a fucking library. Libraries have Internet. Starbucks have Internet. McDonald's, talk about they all have fucking Internet. They don't want you fucking camping outside, but, you know, if you fucking, you know, park across the way. And also fucking schools back in session so all these kids can just go to school. But I'm sure old grandma is just like, watching, like, fucking murder, she wrote on YouTube. It's a fucking soap opera. [00:34:51] Speaker B: Oh, I thought it was a detective series, like Sherlock Holmes. [00:34:56] Speaker A: They're all soap operas. I don't know what a soap opera is, but I just assume it's a boring show that men won't watch. [00:35:04] Speaker B: So soap opera is where you stand up on a soapbox and read out a play. [00:35:10] Speaker A: No. [00:35:11] Speaker B: Yeah, that's how. That's. Yeah. [00:35:13] Speaker A: Okay, now I'm gonna have to fucking look this shit up, cuz my wife is making shit up. [00:35:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I hope I'm right. [00:35:20] Speaker A: I hope you're wrong. [00:35:21] Speaker B: I wanna be right. [00:35:22] Speaker A: What is it? Soap opera. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Now ask how it began. Soap opera. [00:35:28] Speaker A: A television or radio drama series dealing typically with daily events in the lives. [00:35:32] Speaker B: Of the same group of characters. Okay, now look up where the name soap opera came from. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Where did soap opera come from? Soap opera emerged in the us radio industry of the 1930s when advertising agencies of soap, toiletry and foodstuff. Um, food. Yes. I don't care. God damn it. No, it fucking, like, it asked me for cookies and then it like, unhighlighted everything, did he not? [00:36:13] Speaker B: You said no to cookies? [00:36:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I said, fuck off with the cookies. I don't want your fucking cookies. [00:36:18] Speaker B: No one wants cookies. [00:36:20] Speaker A: I don't know why. It's not, like, just a natural thing. Just like, fuck off. No, but soap operas emerged in the us radio industry of the early 1930s, when the advertising industries of the soap, toiletry and foodstuff industries took on the role of developing programs that would attract a female audience. When the last daytime serial left radio in the early 1960s, they were already established as a form of television programming, and advertisers continued to produce soap operas after the transition to television. [00:36:56] Speaker B: So how did a soap opera. How does. Okay. [00:37:00] Speaker A: Because the people developing soap. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:37:03] Speaker A: Wanted to fucking, you know, advertise to females, so they made programming that, you know, went straight to females. So, like, they made a product that, you know, females got to enjoy for free to advertise their soap and toiletries. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Okay. So they made a show so people could watch the adverts. [00:37:25] Speaker A: Essentially, yes. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Okay. [00:37:27] Speaker A: Not staying on a fucking soapbox. And back here is my opera. [00:37:33] Speaker B: That'd be cool. [00:37:35] Speaker A: I like how you took a shot in the dark, and it had been a great shot in the dark, but. [00:37:39] Speaker B: No, I know, right? I thought, man, I'm very happy with how I thought it happened. [00:37:45] Speaker A: So now that. That's. That's how fucking, you know, christians try and spread the word of God back, hey, the word of God. No one, bitch. So. [00:37:58] Speaker B: So Christianity is cookies. [00:38:03] Speaker A: But, so, yeah, no more free Internet for you fucking poor pieces of shit. Get a real job. I love this. This is a USP's. And I'm like, on their actual website, USP's postal service releases dog bite national rankings. And, you know, they have, like, how you can fucking help keep your dog inside the house or behind a fence, away from the door in another room are always on a leash. The average cost per insurance claim for a dog bite is $65,000. [00:38:47] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:38:49] Speaker A: When a postal employee suffers an injury, the owner could be responsible for medical bills, lost wages, uniform replacement costs, and pain and suffering for the employee. [00:39:00] Speaker B: Okay. I was like, that's not the cost to fix a dog bite in the ER. [00:39:10] Speaker A: But, yeah. 2023, dog attack. Rankings by city. Let's just do the top five for the sake of time here. So, at number five with 44 dog bites, was. Cleveland, Ohio, not surprised. Number four, St. Louis, Missouri, with 46 dog bites. [00:39:35] Speaker B: Less surprised. [00:39:36] Speaker A: Chicago, Illinois, with 48, dog boy, very surprised. Houston, Texas, was number two with 56 dog bites, not surprised. And number one in all of America with 65 dog bites in the calendar year of 2023, Los Angeles, California, absolutely not surprised. Fucking idiots. Let me see if Colorado even is on this fucking list. [00:40:06] Speaker B: There's Denver. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Denver, yeah. With 21. San Francisco is even below that. Jesus Christ. But the top ten US dog bite states, number five, Illinois. Number four, Pennsylvania. [00:40:26] Speaker B: What? [00:40:27] Speaker A: Uh huh. Number three, Ohio. Number two, Texas. And of course, California. You always have to fucking take everything, don't you? With 727 dog bites total in your state in 2023. California. Everyone know the rest. New York, Florida, North Carolina. Yeah. So, yes, fucking control your goddamn animal. [00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's all it takes. [00:41:01] Speaker A: You know, don't fucking let it out. Don't. You know, because like, I feel like if you just leave it in the front yard, you should have to have like a mailbox on your fence. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:11] Speaker A: Like if you have a dog in your front yard, like, hey, yeah. You're not gonna get your mail until you fucking put a mailbox here. Or have your dog inside and you just post a notice on their fence and take a fucking photo of it and just move on. And when they call and complain back, hey, I'm not getting any mail. It's like, yeah, cuz you have a dog out in the fucking yard. Yeah, you know, now if it's a golden retriever and the, you know, male person's like, oh, I'm too scared to go in there. You're a pussy. [00:41:49] Speaker B: If it's a good boy. Yes. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Like, if it's a pit bull, I'm like, okay, yeah, go ahead and fucking, you know, be scared. If it's like a belgian malinois. [00:42:00] Speaker B: Malinois. [00:42:01] Speaker A: Melanie Melanois. Melanie Malinois melatonin Melanois. If it's one of those fucking police dogs. Yeah. Or a german shepherd or some fucking attack dog. Yeah, be fuck. I guarantee you it's gonna attack you. [00:42:20] Speaker B: It was. What if it was like a herd of Chihuahua? Who was, do they run in herds or. Wait, it's a pack. [00:42:29] Speaker A: I mean, you can stomp on them like goombas from fucking super Mario brothers. [00:42:35] Speaker B: I do not like purse dogs. [00:42:39] Speaker A: Like, they're very cute, they're very protective. And it's hilarious when they have like little snaggle teeth, cuz like they'll try and bite you, but like, yeah, they. [00:42:48] Speaker B: Have horrible dental disease and like, they'll. [00:42:51] Speaker A: Like try and bite you and like, eh. And it's like, it's like less than a pinch. I'm like, how do you eat? You might as well just like not have a jaw at all. And. Jesus Christ. Southborough teacher placed on leave after holding mock slave auction using racial slur. [00:43:18] Speaker B: Wow. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Southborough Massachusetts, of course. Of course. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Has been placed on paid administrative leave, of course. After holding a mock slave auction and using the n word in a pair of incidents earlier this year. That is great. Superintendent Gregory Martino in a letter to the family, who said the incidents happened in the fifth grade classroom in January and April. It's like that fucking one dude that, you know, got in trouble for that one teacher that got in trouble for using an n word. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:44:05] Speaker A: And then the boondocks made a fucking parody off of it. It's like, of course I say it. He says it all the time. I don't even notice anymore. How is it n word? Gonna borrow a french fry? But the superintendent apologizes for the events that took place in the public schools of Southborough. How about this? If you have can have your kid in a public school, what happens, happens. Tough shit, it's free. The impromptu mock slave auction happened in January during a history lesson about the economy of the southern colonies. [00:44:45] Speaker B: Wow. [00:44:46] Speaker A: The educator asked two children sitting in the front of the room who were of color to stand, and the educator and the class discussed physical attributes. [00:44:58] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:44:59] Speaker A: That is teeth and strength. [00:45:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:45:03] Speaker A: The second incident happened when the same teacher was reading a book to the students. He said the book was recommended by a college, but not part of the fifth grade english core curriculum. While reading and discussing the book, the teacher used the n word. It was later brought to the district's attention that the n word does not appear in the book. Ugh. [00:45:33] Speaker B: Wow. [00:45:35] Speaker A: That teacher is so fucking fired. It's wild. [00:45:38] Speaker B: Oh, my God. No, he's unpaid leave. They'll bring him back, I guarantee you. [00:45:44] Speaker A: No, they might transfer him to a different school or a different school district. [00:45:53] Speaker B: But he's not losing his job. [00:45:56] Speaker A: There's a good chance he's gonna lose his job. I like how they do not say who the teacher is. [00:46:01] Speaker B: Well, I can't. [00:46:03] Speaker A: They very much can. Yeah, I mean, fifth grade, you know, like, I figured they're like, you know, reading, like, the tales of Huckleberry Finn. I'm like, yeah, that's fine. Use the n word. It, like, you have to, like, read around it. If it's like a mad libs without the words filled in, without the n word in there, you know, it's like Tom Sawyer is like the good boy, and then, like, huckleberry Finn is just like the dirty hobo. It's like inward Jim. I like how my wife has never, like, read Huckleberry Finn. [00:46:44] Speaker B: I haven't. It wasn't allowed in the house. [00:46:47] Speaker C: Seriously? [00:46:49] Speaker B: Yeah. There were very few books that were allowed in the house. [00:46:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, there are some stories that are fine, but other stories not. Not great. In this story, last one of the evening, Amazon delivery driver reportedly leaves packages that smoking garage. Doesn't call 911. Well, it's not his fucking job. [00:47:17] Speaker B: It is so not his job. What the fu. Okay. I personally would have called, but he's. [00:47:22] Speaker A: Not getting paid enough for that at Medfield, Massachusetts. Massachusetts again? Like, Massachusetts is like nude beaches and fucking weird shit, I guess. This week, an Amazon delivery driver reportedly left packages at a smoking garage and didn't call 911. He was seen on video leaving a package in a garage in the early stages of a fire. Instead of calling emergency services, however, the driver left to make more deliveries. I guarantee you fucking Amazon gave him a raise for that. Good job. You did what you're supposed to do. [00:47:59] Speaker B: Wow. [00:48:06] Speaker C: Well, that's concrete. [00:48:08] Speaker A: The McArdle family found much their home in ruins after arriving back Saturday from the Cape after they received a call that their home was on fire. That's on you. [00:48:23] Speaker B: It is on them. So is he going to get in trouble, as it say? [00:48:27] Speaker A: Let's see. The damage was extensive with the Amazon package. Left a soggy mess, much like the rest of the house. No, not the package. When McArdle called Amazon to make the company aware of the situation, two managers allegedly told him that the company wouldn't take the call. The customer service. Lately, I spoke to two managers and not willing to take your call because it wasn't their fault with the fire. And again, it wasn't to place blame. It was really more of an educational piece, like, hey, maybe you can use this information to teach your drivers a little bit better, you know? How about now? [00:49:10] Speaker B: Nah, it's not his job. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Nope. [00:49:19] Speaker A: Oh, man. But, yeah, exactly. I guarantee you that fucking driver's still out. Like, no one knows who the driver is. No one cares. [00:49:26] Speaker B: No, they don't care. [00:49:28] Speaker A: You know, you're a faceless entity. And guess what? Now you can just, you know, move. You could have set the fire, but now we're on to. Am I the asshole? [00:49:39] Speaker C: Yep. [00:49:41] Speaker A: By future biscotti 09:00 a.m. i the asshole for refusing to babysit last minute on my vacation. So I. 28, male am this close to a long awaited vacation in Hawaii with my boyfriend. 30, male we save up for months for this trip and haven't had a real break in over two years. Yesterday, my single mother's sister, 32, female, calls me freaking out. Apparently her babysitter cancelled last minute. She has a huge work presentation tomorrow night. She has two kids, five and three, who are a handful, to put it mildly. She begs me to rebook our flights for later. I explained that she's talking about our vacation and everything is booked and paid for. My sister got really huffy and said I was being selfish and could at least try. Flights to Hawaii are expensive, and there's no way I could find something affordable on such short notice. My boyfriend thinks I handled it fine, but now I'm feeling guilty. Am I the asshole for refusing to give up my vacation to babysit? [00:50:50] Speaker B: Of course not. Good for you, Opie. [00:50:53] Speaker A: How about this, op? What you do is you tell your sister back. Okay, I will do that. But, you know, you have to pay for everything. [00:51:06] Speaker B: Nah, I wouldn't babysit either. [00:51:09] Speaker A: No, no, no. I'm saying you have to pay for the entire vacation that we're gonna go take. We're gonna go take two weeks in fucking Hawaii. You have to now reimburse me for my flights that I just lost money on. You have to reimburse me for the hotel that I just lost money on, and you have to pay for new flights. [00:51:28] Speaker B: So you think op should babysit? [00:51:31] Speaker A: Well, this is, you know, the fucking thing that you'd, you know, bring it up. You know, if you want me to babysit, this is, you know how this is gonna work if this is this important to you, you know, you can also fucking, you know, take your fucking kid to a babysitter too. You know, one that does, like, late nights or find any 15 year old girl in the fucking area. [00:51:57] Speaker B: Like a peace sister is responsible for her kids. I'm sorry. And if there are a handful or. [00:52:03] Speaker A: Do you have a husband? [00:52:05] Speaker B: No, it said she's single. Mother. [00:52:09] Speaker A: Get offer dude a blowjob to take care of your kids. I don't know. [00:52:14] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:52:15] Speaker A: So let's see, you know, everyone in the fucking comments, calling her not an asshole, and you know, not the asshole. Your sister is either learning impaired or insanely entitled. Or what you do is you just beg. Hey, I'll take your kids with me to Hawaii. [00:52:41] Speaker B: That'd be even better. [00:52:43] Speaker A: You get to stay here. I'll take your kids with me on my huge trip to Hawaii. You have to pay for them all last minute, but, yeah, I'll babysit them. Oh, and also that's gonna be. You have to pay for the entire time that I'm babysitting. Full rates, 24 hours a day. Like, imagine that. Imagine. Yeah, that's even better. I like that. Idea. Way better. [00:53:06] Speaker B: When do kids get old enough for you to leave him alone? [00:53:09] Speaker A: Fucking like four. It's fine. Okay, so like, he has. She has a five and three year old. The five can take care of the three year old. But yeah, a work presentation. Just bring your kids with you. Just have them sit outside while you give the work presentation. [00:53:31] Speaker C: Idiot kids are too misbehaving to do that. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Yep. Remember she said they're a handful. [00:53:37] Speaker A: Well, it's at night. Lock them in a car. The sun's not out. They're not gonna bake to death. You know, fucking think of creative solutions. You know what I did? I fucking turned my wife into a toaster strudel instead of fucking blowing loads in her. No kids. It's great. I can fucking sit here and play call of duty all day long, and I don't have a kid coming in. Like, yeah, I have my cat, you know, which is just as bad cause she's like, on my desk. It's like, hey, attention my way. But yeah, so everyone you know says, you're not the asshole op. Yeah, you're not the asshole. You know, fucking make this your 32 year old single mother sister fucking pay through the nose if she wants this taken care of. [00:54:32] Speaker B: Make her own life decisions. [00:54:38] Speaker A: Another, am I the asshole? Cause I saw this one, it was hilarious to me, and it resonated by hefty quote. 8460 02:00 a.m. i. The asshole for reporting a child licking the sauce dispensers at Costco. I went to Costco and bought a hot dog for myself and my husband. After waiting in line, I went to the sauce dispensers to get some mustard. I saw a child licking her fingers, eating the sauce off of them and proceeding to wipe them on the sauce dispensers where the sauce comes out. Repeating the same thing several times with all three sauce dispensers. I decided not to confront the child or say anything to her family to avoid causing drama and embarrassing the child. Instead, I told the staff about the incident. A staff member came out and asked who did it. I pointed at the child and I probably should have kept quiet, but oh well. The staff member confronted the family, which is a big group with two women and their children of various ages. The child who did this is about six to seven years old. I saw her licking everything around her and even her mother asked her to stop. The family then confronted me, asking why I didn't tell them directly and went straight to staff. I politely explained that my concern was about food safety and that's all. So I wasn't looking to confront anyone. They didn't believe me and says, I must hate children. You do. And spent the next few minutes talking over me and not letting me get a word in. I reiterated that my concern was only with food safety and I don't want other people's saliva in my sauces. Saliva. Sauces. The staff member then told me that they could easily check the CCTV, which seemed to calm the family down. I'm still frustrated due to the whole incident. I hate arguing with people in public and wonder if I'm in the wrong here. Am I the asshole? [00:56:36] Speaker B: Okay, you've done. You've done the community a great service. [00:56:39] Speaker A: Edit one I just wanted to highlight. I told the staff to get them to clean the dispensers. That was the reason. [00:56:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:51] Speaker A: I mean, like, fucking the mom, obviously. No. And she's just trying to save face at this point, because if you've ever been to a Costco and if you don't have a Costco in your area, I feel for you. But the Costco food area is like a tiny little area where it is jam fucking packed with some of the most disgusting fucking people that have no goddamn manners in their lives. You know, eating at Costco, I don't know why. They're just like, I'm gonna leave all my trash on the table. [00:57:25] Speaker B: Oh, my God, they're disgusting. [00:57:26] Speaker A: Make it somebody else's problem. I'm gonna throw my full lemonade in the trash. I'm gonna have my kid lick the fucking shit. But Scuba chick, 28, said not the asshole. The staff needed a note so they can clean dispensers. Also, it's not your job to parent the child or confront the parents. He did the right thing. I'm also curious as to why the parents knew it was you that reported this. The staff should have handled this very discreetly so no one know knew who it was that reported their child. That has saved a confrontation altogether. The staff member pointed straight at me when asked who complained. It all happened very quickly. The staff member came out of the work area. As she did this, I pointed at the child sitting with their family, and pretty much the first thing I heard was the family say, who complained. I didn't even get a chance to sit down. I don't think the family even cared about anything apart who told the staff. So, yeah, if your kid is out there fucking causing a goddamn nuisance, just send your husband to Costco. How about that? Like, that's the only thing you should do. Yo, there's this guy on YouTube or on Instagram. I don't know which one. But he makes videos where he goes around his local Costco and, like, waits for, like, the wife to, like, walk away and, like, goes up to the husband. It's like, you know, out of ten, how much do you enjoy coming to Costco with your wife? It's always zeros. It's like, without the wife, ten. Like. Like, wives just think that we're made out of money, and they're always like, this basket. So big, so much stuff can fit in here. Towels. Oh, yeah. Now for a relationship advice by throwaway. And this does have an update. And she formatted it poorly. But 20 years ago, when I was 18, I shot an adult scene. Porn. I didn't intend to shoot the scene. I was going with my friend to support when she chickened out at last minute and I stepped in to do it. I regretted it immediately after. And I regretted it even more when I saw it on the Internet. The video, which was supposed to be 30 minutes long, made its way around mostly being shared on file sharing servers. This was posted to Napster, so there was a lot of knockoffs at the time. But after a while, the video seemed to disappear and nobody I knew ever found out about it. I met my husband a few years after I shot this scene, and I never told him. I was ashamed and prayed that he would never find out. He never did. And we've been married for 15 years and have two children together. He's the love of my life and he satisfies me in every way. I check frequently for the video I made, and unfortunately, last week I found it again on an adult site. It is one of the more popular sites, and now I'm terrified that someone will find it. And it could be someone that my husband works with or a friend of my daughter's. I'm just terrified. My question is, should I finally come clean and tell my husband I know that he wanted leave me? If I do, he knows I was rather promiscuous before I met him, and he's been okay with all the crazy things I did before him, but this is one of the things I never told him. It is the thing I'm most ashamed of, and I don't ever want him to see it. And that is preventing me from telling him because I don't want him to see it. There are many reasons for this. The biggest for me is I don't want my husband to feel insecure. The man I shot the scene with had a very large penis. And I made kind of a big deal about it when I shot the scene. My husband is a little above average in that area, but he isn't close to that guy. But none of the other guys I've ever been with were either. I had the best sex of my life with my husband, and that's the truth. I feel like he still may lose confidence if he sees a video. What should I do? Should I just roll the dice and pray he never finds out? Or just come clean? Tldr I shot an adult scene when I was 18 and my husband doesn't know. Should I tell them? Um, yeah, go for it. Fuck it. Why not? When she attached the link for the original post, I thought it was a porno. What's great is like, she'll never fucking post, like, the link to the video. [01:02:12] Speaker B: Well, of course not. She's embarrassed. [01:02:16] Speaker A: But honestly, op, I believe that you can reach out to these websites and just, you know, be like, hey, I am the girl in the video. Can you please take this down? And a lot of the time they will. [01:02:31] Speaker B: Man, op's been ashamed about this her whole life. I feel so bad for her. [01:02:36] Speaker A: Well, all you have to do, all you have to do is go to that website, talk to the minister and say, hey, I was 17 in that scene. Take it down, delete it, and they will. It'll go down the fastest. It's a lie. [01:02:50] Speaker B: You know, op shouldn't feel ashamed. And I doubt op's partner is going to care. [01:02:55] Speaker A: I mean, you're 18, so it's fucking close enough to 17. Just bet ko 17 the same. Take it down. Otherwise I'll get fucking authorities involved. [01:03:03] Speaker B: Although your friend's kind of a pussy for pussying out, and you're a real. [01:03:08] Speaker A: One for fucking stepping in. You know, you shouldn't feel embarrassed. It's fine. But there is an update on this one. Yeah, that's why I fucking picked it up. After I posted this, I thought a lot about telling my husband and finally decided to do it. My original post had over one, about 2000 upvotes and about 2500 comments telling someone. And someone even started a post on another sub dedicated to finding the damn video. And that nearly had 1000 upvotes. [01:03:43] Speaker B: Oh my God, that's so mean. [01:03:48] Speaker A: And it's that interesting in my video that scared me. And I simply couldn't live with the anxiety that one day he'll come to ask me if I shot a porn scene. So I sat him down last night and just came out with it. He at first thought I was joking, but once he realized I was serious, he got quiet. He had questions, which I answered. Most of them I covered in the original post. Then I asked him if he wanted to see it, and he said he thought he had to. My heart sank, but I pulled it up and asked if I could watch with him. He agreed and I held his hand as we watched it. He laughed when he saw the size of the guy's penis, so I relaxed a little. After that, my husband made a few light comments while he watched it, and when it was over, he said, well, that wasn't too bad. I pestered him for a bit afterwards about how I really felt about it. He kind of just shrugged and said from what he could tell, that we've had much better sex than that. And we have. It was a great sigh of relief. My husband has always been confident and comfortable in his own skin. He's a catch and knows how crazy I've been about him. He didn't judge me either. He said I was 18, and 18 year olds do, and 18 year olds do things that we regret when we get older. Later on, he wanted to watch it one more time, then never again. So we watched together and it didn't quite and didn't quite make it through before we started up with each other. It turned out to be a really good night. My husband ended up up finding the video in a few other places. Once we know what to look for, so many people suggested trying getting it taken down. Yep, I did provide forms and provide id when the scene was shot, so I don't know what recourse I could have. I will look into it, but ever since my husband knows, I'm less stressed about it, thanks to the advice everyone offered is very helpful. Also, I'm simply not going to help anyone find the video, so you can stop pretending to be a tech sec tech expert asking for the link under the guise that you'll get it taken down from me. I'm not stupid. I may have done stupid things, but that doesn't make me an idiot. The video is out there, so you can look all you want, but I'll never confirm that that's a video. That's hilarious. [01:06:14] Speaker B: Any op's partner would be chill. [01:06:18] Speaker A: So all you have to do to, like, find the video is look for a video that was done 20 years ago, you know, shot in, you know, 2004, you know, when porn wasn't even that great. So, you know, but that. That's it. Let's see what fucking people say. This is the best possible outcome you got to keep her to do. Yep. Honesty, good job, nice titty conclusion. But thank you all so much for being here. Thank you all for, you know, chilling with us for an hour. If you're in your truck, whatever. I don't care. We'll be back next week with some more bullshit. You know how it goes. We'll see you next time. Bye.