Racist Bible

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We got my wife over here. My. She's just my wife. [00:00:10] Speaker B: I have a new title. [00:00:11] Speaker A: What? [00:00:12] Speaker B: It's Crystal Bitch. [00:00:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, crystal bitch. Thank you, my wife, Crystal bitch. [00:00:17] Speaker B: I have accepted it and I'm moving on and I'm collecting more rocks. I could not be happier. [00:00:23] Speaker A: Yeah, she likes cocks and rocks. We got me Alex the truck. I like guns. And. [00:00:32] Speaker B: And not cocks. [00:00:34] Speaker A: I mean, cocks don't bother me at all. If you pull out your cock, I'll slap it around, you know, call you gay for getting hard. And then we got Courtney over there. You're on the other side. [00:00:47] Speaker C: I'm on the other side of the world. Yep. [00:00:54] Speaker A: We were just talking about some drug seeking behavior and all these goddamn drug addicts. And I do have to say, I have no problem with you if you're just like a homeless dude just living on the street. You're like, I don't want to pay rent and I don't want to have a job. You know, the punishment for that is you live on the street. That's not illegal. You're allowed to do that. As long as you're not being a nuisance, you're fine. Most of the time. These people are a fucking nuisance. They'll sleep in front of businesses. They'll do drugs and alcohol all day. And that's the shit that bothers me. You know, they'll, you know, check themselves into the ER saying, oh, I hurt myself, doctor, I need some dilaudid and morphine and oxycodone and OxyContin. I don't know the difference between the two. [00:01:53] Speaker B: OxyContin is a cleaning agent. Like a detergent. OxyContin, isn't it? [00:01:59] Speaker A: No, it's a drug. [00:02:01] Speaker B: It is. I thought there's just oxycodone. [00:02:06] Speaker C: It's the name Brand. [00:02:08] Speaker A: Oxycontin. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Oh, like name Brandon generic? Yeah. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, the same thing. [00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah, name Brandon Generic. [00:02:17] Speaker A: Okay. [00:02:18] Speaker B: I legit thought OxyContin was a detergent. Well, isn't there like an oxy something that's a detergent. [00:02:24] Speaker A: Oxiclean. [00:02:25] Speaker B: Yeah, there. [00:02:27] Speaker A: I mean, to be fair, when I was in boarding school, there was a kid that we had like little dishwasher tablets that we threw in the fucking sink and they're blue. And so he crushed one of these things up. It was just like soap. Like, that's all it was. It was like, you know, concentrated soap. He crushed it up and snorted it thinking he'd get high. He's like, there's chemicals in there. I'm gonna obviously get high. It turned his nose blue and got him in a shit ton of trouble. [00:03:08] Speaker B: The question is, is he the first or is he not the first to. [00:03:13] Speaker A: Try and get high on soap? On that? Yes, the. So, okay, let's do some, you know, boarding school stories, you know? Cuz I'm sure my mom, you know, remembers all this shit. They never told her. So I remember the, like, ever so often they go through our boxes. We have these clear bins that, you know, fold together, you know, in the middle, like they interlock. And that's where all our personal belongings are kept, you know, everything that we have in that fucking bed. And so they go through them just like in full metal jacket, you know, when he's like, he like, takes and dumps out all of private pile shit. And you. I was like, oh, what? See if anything's missing here. They don't do that, but they do go through them. You know, they have, you know, that authority, I guess. And some kid was keeping orange peels in his box. Like, he snuck orange peels in his box, like, in his pockets, and then took them downstairs and shoved him in his box, like, near the bottom so they would mold. And I guess if you take orange peels, let them mold and then eat them, you get high. Like, apparently it tastes so bad that they recommend using toothpaste with it. So, yeah, I guess it's a thing. And, like, if you eat any kind of mold, it's gonna poison your brain, you know, why not? But it was a. It was a terrible idea. And then, like, another kid got caught with red pens. We're not allowed to have red pens there because that's the teacher's color, and you can grade your own shit with red pens. And so they took all of our pants. Every pair of pants we had, anything that had a pocket in it, cut out the pocket and sewed all of our pants shut. [00:05:30] Speaker C: Well, now you know how what it. [00:05:31] Speaker B: Means, like, to be a woman with no fucking pockets. [00:05:35] Speaker C: No pockets. They're all fashion pockets. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, literally just everything just, you know, pocket was cut out. I'm like, oh, Mandy. But it took him, like, two weeks to get this all done because it was, you know, 160 kids, you know, times multiple pairs of pants. I think we had, like, two pairs of work pants, two pairs of, like, you know, like, nicer pants and, like, a pair of, like, dress pants. I think we have five pairs of pants. But, yeah, I mean, it was like everything. Anything that had a pocket cut out. Fuck you. You know, you don't get pockets no more, which really fucking sucked because, like, the second I left, I mean, like, I don't think my, you know, I don't think I had, like, any, like, my personal pants, you know, affected by this, but, like, anybody that had, like, personal pants sent by their parents pockets cut out, fuck you, okay? [00:06:45] Speaker C: I just asked if I could send them back. [00:06:49] Speaker A: No, there is none of that. You're in boarding school. Go fuck yourself. What? [00:06:54] Speaker B: I spent the last few minutes of my life trying, okay? Eating orange. Eating moldy orange peel with or without toothpaste to get you high is a myth, and it does not work. I have been searching so long, the first question that actually popped up to match my search feed was quora. So you know it's not real. Okay? And I also read, like, two studies by the NIH dot gov regarding its use for a fertilizer and that kind of stuff. So, like, use it. Can use it for your plants. [00:07:29] Speaker A: Can orange peel, mold get you high? Yeah, it's just a national institution of health. [00:07:41] Speaker B: It was an interesting. I just did the summary, but it. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Was interesting, the idea that orange peels and toothpaste can get you high as a myth or an urban legend. There is no scientific evidence to support this claim. It is possible that this misconception originated from the misunderstanding or misinterpretation of certain substances found on orange peels or toothpaste. [00:08:03] Speaker B: You know, I feel bad for the people who have done that only to not get high. [00:08:12] Speaker A: I mean, like, they probably just got. [00:08:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:19] Speaker A: You have to understand, a lot of these kids, you know, were coming in and, like, they were high when they came in, poor things, and they had to fucking, like, kind of detox there. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Oh, God, that's awful. [00:08:36] Speaker C: That when he. With my mom. My mom, he did. Yeah. It was so funny. And we're like, mom, he's probably been. He's, like, having withdrawals from weed. We had to tell her that because, like. [00:08:54] Speaker A: Withdrawals from weed is kind of like a fucking myth, too. [00:08:57] Speaker B: No, if you're addicted. If you're addicted, an addiction is an addiction. Take it. [00:09:01] Speaker A: I mean, you're. You're. Yeah, you're irritable. [00:09:04] Speaker C: Like, I don't sleep. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Like, I remember, you know, everyone I. [00:09:15] Speaker C: Like, every three to four months for two weeks, I stopped taking weed. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Like, starting Monday, I'm doing sober October. So if any. If any of my fans want to join me for a sober October, like, just like Joe Rogan. Dumb bullshit. No alcohol. Not even beer. When I'm home. No shots, nothing. Zero alcohol for the entire month of October. And I do comedy at bars, so. And I do karaoke at bars too. And I get offered free shots all the fucking time. I get people like, hey, can I buy you a beer? And I'm like, no, I can just. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Ask for a non alcoholic one. I've tried them, but they're not half bad. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, mocktails still fucking cost a shit ton of money. [00:10:09] Speaker B: And if we're getting it for you for free. Besides, mocktails are delicious. [00:10:14] Speaker A: It's fine. I mean, I can survive the month with that. What is that? [00:10:20] Speaker C: There's kitty cocktails that you can give cats. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Mm hmm. I brought one home, and none of the cats cared. I was really upset, and I didn't bother to try any other brands that probably may work better. I was just like, this is my first one. And I'm like, yeah, mm hmm. All right, I'm not trying this again. It was a mess to clean up. [00:10:40] Speaker C: Really? [00:10:41] Speaker B: Yeah, cuz I can't pour things, right, Courtney? [00:10:45] Speaker A: Oh, I'm trying to think. Like, has anybody ever tried to, like, sneak alcohol? And I don't think so, but another story from boarding school. I might have already told this one before, but, you know, and the boarding school is closed at this point, so I feel, you know, safe. I revealing some of this information. But there was a kid that brought in a Bible, and in between the pages of the Bible, he laced cocaine. So, like, you know, you know, go, John 316 cocaine. And so, you know, I'm sitting there, you know, and, like, we had, like, quiet time where we decided to sit there and read the Bible. And that was fine. They didn't care if you actually did or not. You just had to sit there, shut up, and look at your fucking Bible. They don't care if you're thinking about titties or not. But this one kid was, like, getting really into the word of the Lord. And I'm like, what the fuck? I just see him, you know, go deep in, you know, like, sniffing God. I'm like, oh, my God, this guy really loves Jesus. And then I take a closer look as he's passing the Bible around the table. [00:12:05] Speaker B: No. [00:12:06] Speaker A: You know, they flip a page, fucking, you know, do a line of fucking Jesus juice. And, you know, one kid notices me, notice him, you know, and I immediately realize what the fuck is going on. And, you know, just quietly because you're not allowed to talk at this point. It's supposed to be quiet time. You're supposed to be reading your Bible. He quietly whispers to me, he's like, if you fucking tell anybody, I'm gonna stab you to death with a sharpened toothbrush. And that. That wasn't, you know, a threat. That was a promise. That was a hundred percent a fucking promise. And I'm like, I don't give a shit. You know, do whatever you're gonna do. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I wouldn't snitch. I wouldn't be bothered. Be like, oh, yeah, good for y'all. [00:12:58] Speaker A: I mean, if I knew what I knew. Now I've been share. Share, motherfucker. You know, get. Give me fucking. The. The book of Luke. You know, give me deuteronomy numbers, give me romans. Trying to think of the other books of the Bible. I can't think of too many. [00:13:15] Speaker B: Um, there's Esther, and then there's the Harlot. And there's one more. [00:13:20] Speaker A: There's revelations is another one. I would have never gotten Esther. Holy shit. [00:13:26] Speaker B: I was raised on Esther. Like, it wasn't creepy. Like, Esther's fucking creepy job. [00:13:33] Speaker A: Job is one of my favorite fucking books in the entire goddamn Bible. [00:13:36] Speaker B: It's so fucked up. [00:13:38] Speaker A: That's why I love it. It's hilarious. [00:13:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:13:41] Speaker A: It's a retard that loves God so much that he had all ten of his kids killed. [00:13:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:48] Speaker A: He had his wife leave him, everything he had gone. And he's like, I still love Jesus. I still love God. Well, he loves God. [00:13:59] Speaker B: He was getting the Bible. [00:14:02] Speaker A: Maybe fucking God gave him a cocaine Bible. Maybe God gave him, like, an lsd, but maybe God gave him, like, a fucking, you know, dilaudid Bible. Just. Yeah, yeah. I don't even care what's going on. I boils on me and my kids. I don't care. Oh, yeah, this is great. He has, like, a morphine Bible. Yeah, I don't. Oh, yeah, I lost everything. I don't care. Heroin Bible. Ah, yeah, this is good. [00:14:31] Speaker B: There's also Ruth. [00:14:34] Speaker A: Is that up? Book of the Bible? [00:14:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:40] Speaker A: I feel like you could be making up names of them. [00:14:43] Speaker B: Okay. No, there's three women in the Old Testament, and those are the only ones I paid attention to growing up, because women. I wasn't paying attention to anything about the stupid made up stories about the dudes who, like, it's all made up, the entire. So I only paid to the women parts. Cause if I was gonna have to pay attention, I was gonna at least stick with my own gender. [00:15:01] Speaker A: You know, it starts with Genesis, ends with revelations. There's Leviticus. It's a fun word to say, but I'm like, the story of job is just wonderful. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Have you already state lamentations? [00:15:19] Speaker A: Lamentations? [00:15:20] Speaker B: I'm saying it wrong, but yeah. [00:15:24] Speaker A: I'm never going to get back in the bible. But if I ever did, I would call it lamentations. I don't know what it's called. [00:15:31] Speaker B: Like, growing up, I had this like, little story where it was like a pun where they fit every single book of the Bible into like this really weird story. And I'm trying to remember the story, to remember all the stupid puns that were them. And it's not going well. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Like my favorite time ago, my favorite thing about the bible is people like remake it and rewrite it for like different groups. And I guarantee you, I can almost guarantee you there is a bible for black people. I want it. I don't know if it exists now. I have to look this up. If there's a bible for black people, just like a racist bible for black people. [00:16:14] Speaker B: These are what prophets are. [00:16:15] Speaker A: Like, yo, yo, yo, up in the beginning of this bitch, fucking God moved and shit. And then he created light and then fucking titties. You know what? [00:16:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I just like, titties are great. [00:16:33] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And he created dudes with penises. But, you know, that's gay, no homo. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that was amazing. [00:16:49] Speaker A: And like, like, I just, I want this. And if it doesn't exist, you can make your own. [00:16:55] Speaker B: You can become a prophet. [00:16:57] Speaker A: I'm gonna have to get. I have to get some like ghetto ass, like black people to help me with this. [00:17:05] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:17:06] Speaker A: It's like, yo, and job was front and you know, he thought like, he had all this cool ass shit. And the devil was like, yo, God, motherfucker, um, come on down in this bitch. I. I gotta bet with you. I bet I can get this motherfucker over here to hate your ass. I bet I can say for him to say, fuck you. And God was like, yo, alright, yeah, I bet, bet. Do it. Do whatever you gotta do. And I guarantee I'll be like, wait. [00:17:39] Speaker B: So was job literally just God whipped? [00:17:42] Speaker A: Yeah, like if God made me stub my toe. Fuck you, God. Fuck you. We're done. Uh uh. No more you. You, uh. Do you enjoy that prayer last night? That was the last fucking one you're gonna get, you piece of shit. Fuck you. And it only been better, it would have been a much better story if Job got like right to the end and the devil was about to give up and he's like, fuck you, God. And then just loses everything forever. Just like, God's like, oh. Oh, fuck me. Fuck me. Okay. Yeah, fuck you, job. You ain't getting shit. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Now, did either of you see Ben Hur? [00:18:29] Speaker A: No. [00:18:29] Speaker B: Ah, it was a fucked up movie. It had its moments, but it was fucked up. [00:18:39] Speaker A: I mean, like, I wanna. [00:18:41] Speaker B: You know, according to McGrandma, we're related to the dude who wrote Ben Hur. [00:18:46] Speaker A: I wanna make, like a. Like, a very romantic movie where a dude does all the right things and it'll just be like this cheesy movie just, you know, targeted to women and, you know, like the Hallmark film, you know, the type where it's just all fucking romantic and he's just, you know, and the women are swooning and having a great fucking time. And end it like Marley and me. The dude just dies. The dude dies brutally, in the end, just in a car accident. Just fuck, you know, he's not saving her life or anything. Just, you know, just. Car accident on the way home. Fucking blows a tire. Fucking, you know, hits a tree and dies. And she was so happy. She was, like, newlywed like that. Like, newlywed with a child. Like, she had been married for, like, six months. Had a kid on the way. Everything was going great. And then her husband dies. Just, like, build him up to be, like, the greatest guy. And I was like, you know, it's like the end of the movie and he's like, you know, having a great conversation. I love you, babe. I'll be home in a bit. And then fucking pop, bang, dead. And that's how the movie ends. Just goes to black. [00:20:12] Speaker B: I saw a homework film where it was a couple and, like, there was a dog. And so the dude looked like Fabio and the dog was like a bernese mountain mix and, like. But the dude, like, looked so much like the dog the entire movie. It was. It was the best thing I'd ever seen in my life. The dude looked like the dog. [00:20:35] Speaker A: That's creepy. [00:20:37] Speaker B: It was funny at the time. Cause both me and Ashley were drunk off our asses, but, yeah, the dude looked like the dog. [00:20:46] Speaker A: I'm, like, trying to think of, like, just horrible movies I've seen. Like, the worst one I've ever seen was aliens versus ninjas. What? Do you want another beer? [00:20:59] Speaker B: Yes, I want another beer. Okay, ember, I'm helping you. [00:21:03] Speaker A: You're not. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Yes, I am. [00:21:07] Speaker A: I mean, so I have to get through, like, these twelve beers tonight and I'm helping. And, you know, like, I could easily fucking crush a twelve pack of beer like that. That ain't a problem. [00:21:20] Speaker B: I know, but you have to be semi sober in the morning, so I'm going to hang out with your dad. [00:21:23] Speaker A: So he's coming here. [00:21:25] Speaker B: I know. [00:21:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And so my dad is in town. Let's fucking get on this topic. And, Heather, don't fucking name drop these people. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Oh, sorry. [00:21:37] Speaker A: My dad, he's a man, unfortunately. I mean, he tries. I mean, he. You know, my mom didn't turn him gay, so, I mean, he gets fucking, you know, points for that, you know, every. Every dude that my mom's with, you know, fucking, you know, very much turns gay. And I'm like, good for you, mom. Doing the world a favor, fighting back the patriarchy, you know, one male at a time. Except cocking your ass. Like, you know, like when the Bible tempers. Like, except Jesus. She's like, except, you know. You know, dick butts. You know, just accept the cock. Accept it. Oh, your prostate feels good. You're gonna come. Oh, man. Guess what? Welcome to the wonderful world of gay. You know, now you get to dress in beautiful colors and understand how nice a purse is. [00:22:39] Speaker B: Purses are. Although I'm still in my mini backpack phase. I'll go back to my purse eventually. [00:22:44] Speaker A: I mean, so butterfly wings. Like, I have, like, one of my friend's dad. Like, her dad is gay. Like, very, like, effeminate gay, and I love him. You know, he's very open, and he has a coach purse, and, you know, he's going through his purse and showing me the versatility of it, you know? And he got, you know, each of his daughters, like, a coach purse, too. He's not a gold star gay. But I'm like, this is not terrible. And you got pockets. He's like, and I got pockets. [00:23:28] Speaker B: And you didn't even show me pictures of the coach purse. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Why would I do that? Like, what? Why would I take pictures of another man's purse? [00:23:39] Speaker B: Because I am into purses. [00:23:41] Speaker A: Yeah, no, coach. I was having a good conversation with them, and, yeah, I'm not. I'm not gonna name drop, cuz. You know, I try. I try not to do that. But, like, I would, like, go to my friend. I'm like, I think I'm gonna fuck your dad. I think I'm gonna become your dad. You know, because I, like, I get along with, you know, gay men very well. And, like, my favorite is, like, when a gay man, like, tries to, you know, like, weird me out, you know, he's like, oh, this is a straight guy. I'm gonna try some, you know, very feminine gay stuff on them, and it's like, yeah, all out gay you, dude. I'll suck your dick just to prove a point. Like, do you think you. You can, like, you know, out gay me? No, I'm a. I'm a winner. I'll do what it needs, I need to do to win. What are you googling back there? Coach versus. Of course she's googling coach, bur. Like. Like, every once in a while, like, you know, like, the way, like, the. The studio is set up is, like, I'm facing the screen, you know, because I have news stories or whatever pulled up, and my wife sits, like, kind of behind me, like, fucking staggered behind me. So, like, look back at my wife and I'll just, like, see her, like, googling shit. I know she's googling coach purses. Like, cheap coach purses. And, like, a fucking coin purse is gonna be like, $6,000. Because why not? You know, you could get, you know, any person has the letter c on. It's fine. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Makes mini backpacks. [00:25:41] Speaker A: I don't. I don't understand, like, what, you know, the obsession is with designer shit. [00:25:51] Speaker B: This is the only one I'm obsessed with. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Like, Courtney, what's this obsession? Like, do you. Do you like wanting designer shit. [00:26:03] Speaker C: Once in a while? Like, I. I really like that, like, uh, Betsy Johnson line for a long time. Like, her jewelry and stuff. It was cool. And then, like, I have wanted, like, certain, like, Louis. Louis Vuittons or, uh, there's a coach that I wanted once, but, like, I'm not really, like, I'm not gonna spend a lot of money. I'd probably get it used. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I get everything like that. Like, I look at the price first, I'm like, you know, okay, what's the price on this? Too expensive. Fuck off. What's price on this? Fuck off. What's the price on, like. Like, I have years old backpacks. I have a ten year old backpack that I still use every day. And I got that backpack used for free. Had a cigarette burn in it when I got it. Still has the cigarette burn. I haven't fixed it, and, you know, it's falling apart. But it's one of those swiss backpacks. It'll last forever. Like, if you go into an airport, you'll see, like, six of them. It's crazy. I'm like, oh, wow, these are good backpacks. And then I have, like, my. My camera bag, which is a few years old, and that. That will last forever because I've fucking put a bunch of patches in it. But, you know, if I look at it, like, a new backpack, I'm like, oh, $30? That's too much money for a new bag. Like, how much is a coach purse? Like, now I have to see the one. [00:27:59] Speaker B: I'm looking at, like, 160. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Too much. Let's go to Amazon. For sure. Amazon has that good coach purses. They even have a store on Amazon. Okay. Jesus fucking Christ. Why is this that expensive? Go fuck yourself. Oh, my God. [00:28:31] Speaker B: What are you looking at? [00:28:33] Speaker A: Like, look at this. This fucking red clutch is what it's called. It's a tabby chain clutch. It is b four slash ruby. It is. It's a wallet. [00:28:48] Speaker B: It's a clutch. They're different. Continue. Clutches are bigger than wallets. [00:28:54] Speaker A: It's a fat wallet with a chain on it. And they want, like, 300 and some odd dollars for that. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Oh, well, I don't want that one. This is the one I want. See, it's not even that expensive. [00:29:12] Speaker A: How much is it? [00:29:14] Speaker B: It's 150 and change. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Still, maybe if you have, like, a year of, like, giving me, like, awesome blow jobs. [00:29:25] Speaker B: What I wanted for my birthday. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Yeah, your birthday is hella far away. And if I get you that, you ain't getting shit for Christmas. [00:29:34] Speaker B: I'll take it. [00:29:37] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure, like, I've already, like, gotten you, like, your fucking birthday present and your Christmas present for, like, the next, you know, three years. [00:29:47] Speaker B: Okay. I'll just have to save up for it. [00:29:53] Speaker A: I mean, if we're really talking about, you know, dumb shit that, you know, we want. Let's see. M seven on an m 107. A one, please. Yes. I'm over 18 years of age, which is a. It's a Barrett fucking 50 BMG. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Which. [00:30:17] Speaker A: Is semi automatic rifle. Yeah. It's a gun. It is a fucking wildly expensive gun. [00:30:27] Speaker B: And you're literally just proving my point. [00:30:31] Speaker A: I won't buy it, though. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Well, there's a limit of where. Yeah, I'm not gonna pay that, but that's not bad. And it has the little tiger. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Let me. Let me. Let me go to gun broker really quick. Yes. I'm. I have a fucking account here, you motherfuckers. Yeah, the suppressor. Just the suppressor for it. Fifteen hundred dollars. The cheapest one I found was $13,000 bare bones. Oh, my God. That. That hurts me. Just. Just look at that. I'm not paying $13,000 and then $10 a bullet like, Courtney, what's something dumb that you want that you'll never be able to afford. [00:31:25] Speaker C: What's something dumb dumb. Um, okay. It's something I might afford, but it's something that I haven't gotten yet. But it's a replica of the jewelry box from Anastasia. [00:31:48] Speaker B: That'd be. Oh, that'd be so pretty. [00:31:52] Speaker C: And, like, it actually, like, the necklace and the necklace to turn. [00:31:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Anastasia came out in 1997, so 26 years ago. [00:32:07] Speaker B: Wow. I can't believe I've lived this long. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Anastasia jewelry box? [00:32:15] Speaker C: Yeah. I have to find it. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I just googled it. I found it immediately. Like, I don't remember, like, watching that. It's, like, the only part of Anastasia I remember is, like, a train. Like, vaguely a train. I mean, like, there. There's one on Etsy for $118. [00:32:43] Speaker B: There is? [00:32:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:45] Speaker C: Where is it? [00:32:46] Speaker A: Well, I'll send it to you because. [00:32:49] Speaker C: The one does it. Let's see. Anastasia. Let me. I'm on it. I was just on Etsy because that's the one that I was doing. [00:32:58] Speaker A: But, yeah, you know, boom. There you go. There you go. I'm gonna send it to you. But, I mean. I mean, like, everyone has something stupid that they want, that they, you know, don't need. Like, I do not need it. M 171 at all. And. But there. There's about, like, ten other rifles I do want. You know, an AK 47, you know? Yes. What is it, baby girl? I know everyone's in here. [00:33:46] Speaker B: She's on her new cat tree. [00:33:48] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I got my. My cat a new cat tree that goes up to the ceiling and, like, springs up to the ceiling. My cat fucking loves it, and it keeps her out of my goddamn way. So I'm happy. I. I know you can hop here. She wants, like, more room. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Mm hmm. Here, mama. I'll move the cushion. I love that I'm trained by our cats. It makes me so happy. [00:34:21] Speaker A: All right, let's get into some fucking news. So does anybody here, like, remember, like, the 23 andme bullshit? [00:34:31] Speaker B: Is that a DNA test? [00:34:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a DNA testing. [00:34:34] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:34] Speaker A: Yeah. And, like, I never used them. I've never used any fucking DNA thing. I didn't care. [00:34:42] Speaker B: Agreed. [00:34:44] Speaker A: Like, I don't want to know, and I don't want to give, you know, a random company a bottle of my spit. My company doesn't have my thumbprint for anything, so I'm not going to give a random company my spit. Yes, mo. Would you. Would you like to say hello? Say hello. Okay. But, yeah, 2023. What's that? [00:35:11] Speaker C: Oh, I actually saved the wrong Anastasia box. [00:35:16] Speaker A: That's hilarious. But, yeah, the 23 andme is not doing well. Because people obviously no longer give a shit about where they come from. And they're like, you know, doing huge rounds of layoffs. The entire board of directors quit except for, like, the CEO. And so they're thinking about selling the entire company of 23 andme, which means 23 andme and the 15 million people that spit into the cup and all their DNA would be up for sale, too. So whoever bought it. [00:36:04] Speaker B: That's fucked. [00:36:06] Speaker A: Would have the DNA of 15 million fucking people. [00:36:10] Speaker B: Like, people can't call and ask to have their data destroyed or some shit. [00:36:14] Speaker A: No, I'm sure that's something you sign and check a little box. [00:36:20] Speaker B: That's creepy. That's so creepy. Although, you know. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Labs keep your samples, but it's not just for, like, oh, so we can control persons. Like, so I can build a database and, like, it serves other purposes. But this is fucked. [00:36:41] Speaker A: I mean, like, I guess it could be, you know, useful, but I'm not gonna do it. And it's using it. Like, they use this shit to help police catch serial killers. [00:36:50] Speaker B: That's cool. [00:36:51] Speaker A: And I feel like it should be like a doctor patient confidentiality thing because technically they are providing a medical service to you, but they are fucking breaking that, so. [00:37:04] Speaker B: You mean like a HIPAA. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Yeah, but not quite. [00:37:08] Speaker B: Not quite. [00:37:08] Speaker A: You know, like how a therapist can't talk to, you know, police about you, or can they? [00:37:15] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:37:16] Speaker A: I feel like, you know, like if, like, you go to your therapist and you're like, I'm thinking about doing a bunch of murders. You know, like, is that therapist, like, breaking a confidentiality by going to the police and telling them about you? [00:37:32] Speaker B: No, not my book. No, we're talking about the safety of a community. [00:37:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:41] Speaker A: I mean, priests are not allowed to tell. I don't think I might be completely fucking wrong. I might be a hundred percent wrong on all this. [00:37:49] Speaker C: Now they're able to tell anyone. [00:37:51] Speaker A: Yeah, man. Like, fucking. I'm believing oranges get you high, and now I'm believing priests have to fucking, you know, be good people. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Okay. No. Remember my uncle Tim was a priest. Like, obviously, he had axed. Obviously. Like, he, like, did confessions and stuff. And yes, he wasn't allowed to talk about stuff, but if it was a scenario like this, he was allowed to break that sacredness and inform the police. But that was his decision. He was not obligated to by law. Like, that was a personal decision for him. [00:38:22] Speaker A: Well, what if you, like, go into the confessional booth and do not open up your little fucking peephole I know nothing about that. [00:38:30] Speaker B: I've never done a confession. [00:38:31] Speaker A: Okay, so in the confessional booth, like. [00:38:34] Speaker B: Have you been in a confessional booth? [00:38:36] Speaker A: Yeah, because when I. When I first moved to Colorado, I actually did a restoration project on Colorado's oldest church. [00:38:46] Speaker B: But you didn't do, like, an actual confession? [00:38:50] Speaker A: No. Okay, well, but they had the confessional booths there, and we had to clean those. And so, like, what it is, is, like, you have, like, the preside. It's very basic. It's like, it's like a phone booth. Like, you go in, you have a little bench seat, and, like, the priest has their little bench seat, and on, you know, your side, you have a, like, a little, like, slot that you can open so you can, like, see through, like, like a little glory hole. You know, like, yeah, priests put your penis there, but it's, like, still, like, lacedae. And so you can, like, open it up or keep it closed. You can still hear each other in there, and it's like a soundproof, you know, box kind of. [00:39:37] Speaker B: So my uncle Tim, sometimes he would come home and talk about the confessions, and I shit you not. One time, he had a situation where, like, a husband came in and was confessing to cheating, but then the wife came in and also confessed to cheating. And my uncle Tim was like, I could tell them, or I could note, like, you cannot make this shit up sometimes. It was real. [00:40:01] Speaker A: Just tell. Like, don't. [00:40:03] Speaker B: Like, he didn't say anything, but it was just, like, the most hilarious thing he had ever had to deal with. [00:40:09] Speaker A: Like, what if you keep the little fucking box closed and they can't tell who you are? [00:40:14] Speaker B: You need to understand, my uncle Tim was part of a parish, and he was on first name basis with, like, over 150 people who attended the church. [00:40:22] Speaker A: But what if you didn't attend that church and they had no idea who you are? And you just go into that church randomly one day and be like, I murdered 17 people. Forgive me, father. [00:40:32] Speaker B: Well, there's a difference between having done it and planning to do it. Like, you've already done it. Well, they're already dead. But if you're planning to do it. [00:40:39] Speaker A: Then so what, you know, if you've already done it, like, don't tell the police they're already dead. What is telling the police? [00:40:45] Speaker B: Yeah, you don't have to tell the police they're already dead. It's happened. There's no point. Once someone's dead, they're fucking dead. It doesn't matter what you do for them. They are dead. [00:40:57] Speaker C: They'll tell. Because they can go and kill other people. [00:41:02] Speaker A: Yeah, they can also kill that priest too. It's like, you know, I can, like, imagine if, you know, you go in thinking that, you know, a, we're all good, and, you know, I came in and confessed. Hey, I killed, you know, three people back in 93. Yeah, I just want to get this off my chest. [00:41:24] Speaker B: Couldn't have been me. [00:41:26] Speaker A: And, you know, then they go and tell the police, and now the fucking police are looking for you. And, you know, the priest is the only one that knew. Guess what? Now your church is a target. [00:41:41] Speaker B: Who the fuck goes to a confession that they've murdered somebody? Like, why would you even do that in the first place? [00:41:48] Speaker A: If it's bothering your soul. [00:41:54] Speaker B: That'S not the place to go about and do it, though. [00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah, it is, it is. Yeah. [00:41:58] Speaker B: This is not like a Hollywood thing. [00:42:00] Speaker A: Maybe now after they google it. Has anybody ever confessed to murder in a confessional? [00:42:10] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:42:12] Speaker A: Okay, Reddit, what happened? Reddit's like, if a person confessing tells the priest that they murdered someone, can the priest tell the police? Does it vary depending on which brains of Christianity? No. The sacrament seal is invoidable. Quoting canon 983.1, the code of the canon law. Jesus Christ. [00:42:38] Speaker B: Which canon? [00:42:39] Speaker A: I don't fucking know. It is a crime for the confessor in any way to betray the pentanent by word or any other manner for any reason. A priest therefore cannot break the seal to save his own life, protect his good name, or refute a false accusation to save the life of another, like reporting a crime or to avert public calamity. He cannot be compelled by law to disclose a person confession or be bound by an oath. He takes a witness in court trial, a priest cannot reveal the contents of confession either directly or repeating the substance of what has been said or indirectly by some sign, suggestion, or actator. So, yeah, no, you cannot. [00:43:33] Speaker B: It depends on which canon that is, because my Uncle Tim could do that, and he was greek orthodox, so it's a different Christianity. Yeah, but like, are we talking? [00:43:44] Speaker C: But I mean, is that real? Is that a law or is that just a doctrine? [00:43:48] Speaker A: I feel like it's just like a fucking doctrine, but I feel like if I, you know, you go and break this seal and go and tell the police, they can go and be like, hey, yeah, and then you're fucking out of a job. You're no longer a priest. You've just lost everything. So the house that the fucking church gives you, gone, you know? Oh, yeah, I spent the last ten years working as a priest. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Thank God my aunt Marsh and Uncle Tim own their home. Like, thank God. [00:44:23] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the priests do get paid. Oh yeah, some of them get paid a lot. [00:44:28] Speaker B: Some of them. Not all of them. [00:44:30] Speaker A: I mean, like fucking Copeland gets paid millions. Like Yennis Copeland? Yeah. [00:44:37] Speaker B: They've never paid my uncle Tim what he is worth. It's pissed me off from the beginning. [00:44:42] Speaker A: Well, you do it for the love of the game. [00:44:44] Speaker B: I know. No, he is a very strong christian. [00:44:48] Speaker A: It's like any teacher, like if you're a teacher out there fucking working like. And here's something I realized just this last week. [00:45:03] Speaker B: But it was empty. [00:45:05] Speaker A: Oh my. Is like, teachers do not get paid nearly what they're worth. A because, you know, like they work 8 hours a day fucking babysitting your kids and they have about 30 kids in the classroom. And if they were to get paid $10 an hour for the 8 hours, they'd be making $2,400 a day. You know, time is five days a week. $12,000 for $10 an hour per kid. Not even making minimum wage per kid. But you know, hey, you're paying $80 to him. Babysit your kid a day, which is fair, you know, which is what fucking people do, pay babysitters and childcare. But yeah, like teachers would be making, you know, $12,000 a week. And then, you know, you multiply that by, you know what, fucking 30 weeks, they should be making easily $300,000 a year. They don't know. [00:46:18] Speaker B: They don't. [00:46:21] Speaker A: And you know that that's fine. They do it for the love of the game. But what I have realized is, you know, public school that they say is free. School is not free. There's no such thing as a free lunch in this country. [00:46:36] Speaker B: No, there is not. [00:46:38] Speaker A: And anything, anything that people are like this is free. Taxpayers pay for it. And the burden of your kid per kid going to public school today is about $15,000 a year, just to let you know. So it's about $180,000 over the next 818 years of them going to school and getting an education. Now, I have no qualms about that. All fucking, you know, pay the taxes to make sure your kid can go into public school and these teachers can get paid. That that's fine. You know, like, I have no problem paying for people that are truly disabled, sure. But that being said, I'm willing to pay a little bit more to make college free. Just say fuck all college debt. Get rid of it all. I don't care that I don't have any. I don't care that my wife doesn't have any. [00:47:34] Speaker B: Praise the Lord. But college debt is awful. [00:47:38] Speaker A: Like. Like, if you want to go to a specialized college, you know, go fuck yourself. Like, if you want to go to, like, something that you put, you know, like, every, you know, college student should get, you know, like, just a guarantee from the taxpayers. Like, they say, oh, this is from the government? No, it's from the taxpayers. Let's get real, you know, a guarantee from the taxpayers. This is how much money the taxpayers are giving, you know, each college student a year. Like, we'll cover your tuition, you know, we'll cover, like, $15,000 of your schooling, you know, per year. I don't know how much tuition is, but, yeah, sure, you know, if you're taking full classes, why not go for it? Make it free? And that's really how you make America better. Not just by giving them the basic education, but by giving them the higher education. And then I bet. Cool. And they're like, okay, well, you're gonna have to pay more taxes. I'm like, how about this? You just spend less on the military. Clutch your pearls all you want, spend a little bit less on the military. Make school free. And then, wow, we're in a golden age of America. Golden age of enlightenment. A golden age of people actually knowing shit and having higher worth citizens. [00:49:09] Speaker B: I fight wars so my sons can be merchants and their sons can be philosophers. [00:49:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, hard times make hard people, and hard people make soft times and soft times or soft people make hard times. And then it's a fucking vicious cycle. [00:49:35] Speaker B: I hate that we as humans, formed a society. Like, why the fuck did we evolve this way? Like, it's fucked up, you know? [00:49:43] Speaker A: Like. Like, I have no problem with it, you know, I'll live in the peacetime, you know, but. And I'm old enough to be like, oh, you know, if I was to die tomorrow, I'd be fine. And we should, like, send, like, racist old men to war. Like, it would be the greatest because they would be, you know, killing, you know, people in other countries with glee. You know, it's like, yeah, they can't fucking run a mile in five minutes. But, you know, if we lose someone that's 80 years old. Oh, well, my grandpa died. Oh, yeah, okay. [00:50:30] Speaker B: There's no point in calling the fucking graphic that is no longer able to reproduce. If we're going to coal, we need to go after the reproducers or the children before they become able to reproduce. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, I see an 18 year old as a child. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Yes, they're children. Oh, my God, they are such children. [00:50:51] Speaker A: And to send them to a different country, hand them a rifle and say, go kill that person, you're going to live with that decision for the rest of your fucking life. And you're gonna have to, you know, see that fucking child skull blown apart by your rifle, you know, in your fucking nightmares for, you know, the next 80 years. You know, that. That sucks. That's shitty. But if you send an 80 year old over there, they already have Alzheimer's. They'll go kill people and forgot they did it. Oh, today's the day you wake up and go kill people again. And then, you know, oh, man, fucking old Greg got shot. I'm old Greg. Look at my man china. Boom. Who cares? They're gone. [00:51:35] Speaker B: Bailey's in a shoe. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You got it. And you, just like my grand grandpa died in war and then he's a fucking hero instead of having to bury your child, instead of giving a fucking folded flag for your 18 year old kid that stepped on an IED. [00:51:59] Speaker B: I'm so sorry. I just checked back into the conversation. What the fuck? [00:52:04] Speaker A: I'm saying send old men to fucking war. [00:52:07] Speaker B: Okay, now, we talked about this and I said no, send the reproducers or the children to war. [00:52:12] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:52:13] Speaker A: It's fine. [00:52:14] Speaker C: Yeah, Alex doesn't get it. [00:52:16] Speaker B: No, sorry, I just had, like, a really bad flashback for some reason, and I'm just now back in reality, but. [00:52:24] Speaker A: You know, back to the story. 23 andme, they're looking at getting sold. [00:52:31] Speaker B: Are they not bound by HIPAA? I mean, like, I don't understand how they're. [00:52:40] Speaker A: They're just a fucking company that, you know, maps your genetic code. [00:52:46] Speaker B: Hmm. Okay. [00:52:49] Speaker A: I mean, let them do whatever they want to do. [00:52:51] Speaker B: Are others bound by hippo or is it just 23 andme that somehow got under. [00:52:57] Speaker A: Well, I don't know too many of the other ones. 23 andme is the one that fucking advertised. [00:53:02] Speaker B: There's gotta be others, right? I would. There's a. Okay, you know what? I don't know. I just assumed there was more than one company. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I assume there's more than one company. Yeah, you know, like cup spitters or something stupid. Let's find out. We can easily find out. We have the Internet in our pockets. 23 andme alike companies. Top three DNA testing companies. Buy from a company. Like, I don't. Holy shit. I don't need. Okay, so number one at DNA test cri genetics cellular research institute. Um, number two, ancestry DNA. [00:54:03] Speaker B: That's the one. Okay. I was thinking another one. Like, I have no idea what it's. [00:54:08] Speaker A: Called, but it's number three is 23 andme. Yeah, so they're not number one. You know, fuck him. [00:54:16] Speaker B: Third's nerd. [00:54:18] Speaker A: So, you know, good. Good for them. I'm never gonna spit in a cup to find out that, like. Like, I'm allergic to gluten. I don't give a shit. I'll die. But on the next story, people, an artist complains that people are blatantly stealing their work. But the thing is, is he does all his work with AI. So back in 2022, this dude fucking submits art to a fine art competition at the Colorado State Fair. The judges didn't realize that it was made with AI. And, you know, he did really good. He might have even won the fucking thing, but people kept on stealing his fucking art because he went to go take his art and try and copyright it. And the copyright artists is like. Or the copyright office, like, yeah, go fuck yourself. This is AI, we don't give a shit. You can't copyright this. This is, you know, some shit you did, you know? Oh, the dude was like, so is a. [00:55:33] Speaker B: Not, like, procreate. [00:55:36] Speaker A: Yeah, AI, it's like, I can just go in and just be like, yeah, give me, you know, whatever the fuck. No, no Gemini. No. Fuck you. Like, like, google even has its own fucking AI bullshit, you know, so, like, you can fucking make like, you know, like that. It's generated image of a futuristic car driving through an old mountain. You know, like, use Gemini. Yes. Mochi. What is it? [00:56:14] Speaker B: Careful, baby, you might be selling your DNA. [00:56:16] Speaker A: I don't care. Give me an image of a cute cat. Give me an image of a cute cat there. Here's a cute kitten for you. [00:56:36] Speaker B: Okay, say, give me a picture of a cat named Mochi. [00:56:42] Speaker A: Give me an AI image of a cat named Mochi flying a rocket. And then, yeah, it creates fucking, you know, AI images, you know, using imagine too. You know, like, there you go. Boom. A fucking cat named Mochi flying a fucking rocket. [00:57:05] Speaker B: Okay. I was expecting a cat to be made out of rice, so I'm low key disappointed. Yeah, that's cute. Oh, my, that's adorable. Okay, that's kind of as weird. Okay. The little quilted one was fucking adorable. Yeah, that one's cute. [00:57:22] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, you can do this all fucking day long and, you know, it's putting artists, like, out of fucking work and that. That's fine. But yeah, this. This dude is like, I'm losing millions of dollars because people are blatantly stealing my work. And, you know, he did get an AI image and then fucking took it into Photoshop and tightened it up a bit. And he's like, it took me 110 hours to do all this. And I'm like, why do you deserve a million dollars for that? Why do you deserve a hundred out $100 for that? Go fuck yourself. You took something a computer did most of the heavy lifting for, and now you're sitting here complaining, you know, going, boo. Yeah, like, anybody. Any artists. That's an AI artist. Go fuck yourself. Like, you, you shouldn't get to have anything, but, yeah. The refusal of the US Copyright Office to recognize human authorship and AI assisted creation highlights a critical issue on modern, you know, IP law, intellectual property, and, yeah, you know, if you make it with a I go fuck yourself. That's all I have to say. Next story. In Harveysburg, Ohio. The Ohio Ren faire will be closed on Saturday due to ongoing power outages in the area. Don't know how that affects a Ren faire. It shouldn't at all, I'm sure. [00:59:14] Speaker B: What they need to use electricity for some things like turning on lights and that kind of stuff, don't they serve food? [00:59:20] Speaker A: They should have it over fires. Ren Faire renaissance. [00:59:24] Speaker B: You know personally how hard it is to cook food over a fire? [00:59:28] Speaker A: Tough. You want to go to a Ren faire? Like, okay, I've been to Ren Faire. [00:59:34] Speaker B: Can't you, like, buy shit at Ren Faire's? [00:59:36] Speaker A: Yes. [00:59:36] Speaker B: Yeah. You need electricity, cash. Do you know how many people carry cash these days? Cause it's not as much as it used to be. [00:59:44] Speaker A: I do. [00:59:45] Speaker B: I don't. [00:59:46] Speaker A: Tough. But. The entire Miami Valley is dealing with numerous parachutes affecting multiple events, businesses and homes. Tickets today will be valid for tomorrow, September 28 or October 19, 20th, 26th or 7th. Special ticket events will be refunded automatically. We apologize for any inconvenience. [01:00:14] Speaker B: Excellent. For the refunds. [01:00:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, you don't need electricity, you idiots. Just make it an authentic renfair. Charge more. Charge more for the authentic renfare. We need no electricity here. We only accept bars of gold to get into here. [01:00:38] Speaker B: But beer wouldn't be cold. [01:00:41] Speaker A: Ice. [01:00:43] Speaker B: You put ice in your beer and. [01:00:46] Speaker A: Put ice around your beer. Or have like, a divorced woman stare at it with her icy stare. [01:00:52] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:00:53] Speaker A: I know I'm fucking great, but, you know, on to fucking. I believe this is Florida stories. Doctor's license, suspended order. Indicates wrong organs removed in two surgeries. Oh, that sucks. That sucks. A destined doctor's medical license is now suspended. Order filed Tuesday indicates that Thomas Schlocks Shalotsky removed incorrect organs and at least two surgeries, which sucks assholes. In less than two years. The 21 page order shows that one patient died and another is suffering long term permanent harm as a result of these injuries. Documents state in March 2023, the surviving 58 year old patient's pancreas was removed instead of our adrenal glands. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Adrenal. [01:02:05] Speaker A: Adrenal gland. Both procedures took place at Ascension Sacred Heart in Myanmar. What? Like, why do they fucking, like, have to make, you know, this is, you know, a religious area? [01:02:19] Speaker B: Because it's fucking Ohio. [01:02:22] Speaker A: Every fucking place, every fucking hospital, you know, puts God in there somewhere. Knock it off, hospitals. Last month, a 70 year old patient died on the operating table after the document states his liver was removed instead of his spleen. I mean. [01:02:41] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Is that the same thing? [01:02:44] Speaker B: No, those organs look very different. Like, a liver does not look like a spleen. A pancreas most certainly does not look like an adrenal gland. [01:02:54] Speaker A: I mean. I mean, I've played surgeon simulator, so I'm pretty good at hitting fucking. [01:03:00] Speaker B: I've held organ. I've held live cow organs in my hands while they were doing surgery at another organ. The liver is so. [01:03:08] Speaker A: So, yeah, that's why you eat them. [01:03:11] Speaker B: It's so fucking soft and. No, I'm never going to eat any organ meat. I can't, because I. Because I've seen surgery on organs, I can't eat it. Like, how the fuck I'm still able to eat meat is a fucking complete mystery to me. [01:03:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I fucking killed deer, like, badly. Like, just dragged them off the route. I'm proficient at dragging full grown deer off the road. [01:03:37] Speaker B: Do you need a gold medal for that? [01:03:39] Speaker A: I mean, maybe. [01:03:41] Speaker B: Okay. [01:03:41] Speaker A: I mean, just don't tell the game warden. Like, I hate when people hit a deer and then leave it in the road. Fucking get that shit off the road, you idiot. But the order goes on to indicate, during last month's deadly surgery, operating staff express concern about the doctor's skill level and the timing and staff availability for the procedure. [01:04:13] Speaker B: Oh, I hate that. I hate telling upper management. [01:04:17] Speaker A: The document also says doctor Slavowski blindly fired a staple into the victim's abdomen and did not accurately record what he was doing during the surgery and forced staff to label the specimen incorrectly, although the staff member indicated it was not the right organ. [01:04:36] Speaker B: There's something worse. Having to correct the doctor mid surgery. It is so awkward. [01:04:42] Speaker A: Yeah, fuck this dude. [01:04:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Like, this one doctor, he was horrible. So, like, one time, literally, he flung scissors at one of the texts. And after that, I was like, okay, he only does surgery with me because I wasn't going to put up with that shit. And, like, one surgery, I had to remind him to fucking suture what incisions he's made. And I was like, what the fuck? And, like, it was awful. Cause I had to go to my boss, and the boss was that doctor's kid. And there it was extremely comfortable to tell said person who was my boss, your dad can't do surgery anymore. I had to remind him to close an incision. Like, I felt so bad for my boss. Cause they had to have that conversation with their dad. But the dad didn't do surgery anymore, which I was very grateful. Like, they did their end of the bargain. [01:05:29] Speaker A: Oh, shit. We're already at an hour. [01:05:31] Speaker B: I know. [01:05:32] Speaker A: We're gonna go a little long. [01:05:33] Speaker B: I have to pee then. [01:05:34] Speaker A: Okay, go pee. We're gonna do relationship advice. [01:05:38] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I just saw the title. I have to stay for this. [01:05:42] Speaker A: My boyfriend, 21 male, complains about my 21 female saggy breasts constantly, but asks, disgusted when I bring up getting a boob job by nowheres 4959. I'm at the end of the rope. I've lost 60 pounds over the past due to a new medication, and I'm now bordering on underweight because I used to be bigger. My breasts now sag a little. Totally natural. And honestly, it does not bother me so much. However, it bothers my boyfriend, who I've been dating for about six months, quite a bit. Dump him. Um, yeah, once he brought it up when we were being intimate, he said he couldn't finish because. Because of it and snuck off to finish by himself a couple times. He brought it up in passing. I know it bothers him. And jokingly I responded, I could just get a boob job. He told me that it makes him look at me differently because he didn't know I'd be willing to do such a superficial and unnatural thing to my body. I want him to want me. I want him to think I'm sexy. I just don't know what to do. [01:06:46] Speaker B: Oh, my God, girl, you need to dump his ass. And you need to get your butt into therapy because you don't need to be wanted by someone. You are good enough. I know. [01:06:55] Speaker A: I have to go pee. I mean, like, me personally, like, I don't care, you know, fucking titties. Are titties. Yeah. Like, if I see, like, an old woman at a biker bar and she's like, hey, you want to see my titties? I'm like, fuck yeah, whip them out. And I'm like, oh, cool, now roll them back up. You know, get him out of here. I mean, like, what do you think about this, Courtney? [01:07:22] Speaker C: I think he should. She should dump him. [01:07:27] Speaker A: Well, like it. Like. Like what? Like, so that's what you do. Like, if you had, like, a dude that you're, like, totally into and he's like, your titties are saggy a little bit and you, like, really wanted to make it work, but he's just like, yeah, gross. [01:07:50] Speaker C: For Saggy, that's one thing. But to further say something about when I say, oh, maybe I'll just get a boob job or something, then he so is all weird, then, yeah, fuck him. [01:08:06] Speaker A: Comments? Good lord. Do not stay with someone that speaks about your body like this. Seriously. Heaven forbid you have children with them and nurse, because they'll really know what saggy tits look like. I mean, you don't want someone so shallow. I mean, you are 21, so, you know, your tits probably aren't even that bad. Like, realistically. [01:08:34] Speaker C: I don't know. Sometimes if you lose weight, they can look saggier than they are. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Don't matter to me. [01:08:41] Speaker B: Most certainly hasn't as I softweight. [01:08:42] Speaker A: So show me some saggy titties. [01:08:46] Speaker C: Yeah. Cuz you haven't lost weight in your boobs, Alex. [01:08:49] Speaker B: I know. Praise the fucking lord for that. [01:08:52] Speaker C: I know, right? I hope once I start, like, being more on my diet, that I won't, um, that I won't lose weight in my boobs. [01:09:02] Speaker B: Oh, I most certainly didn't, my love. So there's hope for you. [01:09:06] Speaker C: Mm hmm. [01:09:11] Speaker A: So now on to am I the asshole by reindeer? No fucking whatever. Am I the asshole for refusing to attend my sister's silent wedding because she's forcing everyone to communicate only using American Sign language? None of us know it. I know this might sound insane, but I need to know if I'm the crazy one here. My 34 male sister, 31 female, is getting married in two months, and she's deciding to have a silent wedding, which means no one is allowed to speak during the entire wedding. Instead, she expects all 200 guests to communicate only using American Sign language the entire day. But literally no one in the family knows American Sign language. Now, my sister is not deaf, nor is her fiance, nor any of the immediate family members. She is thought it to be unique and intimate to force us all to learn a completely new language for her wedding. Her exact words, it's more inclusive for the deaf community. Reminder, no one in the wedding party is deaf. I told her this is absolutely absurd, and she can't expect hundreds of people to learn a new language just for one day of her life. She got furious and said, I'm ruining her vision and being ableist by refusing to participate. I told her this isn't about ableism. It's about the fact that none of us can communicate in American Sign language and that her wedding will basically be 200 people sitting around silently confused as hell. She knows we'll have plenty of time to learn the basics, but I'm a busy adult with a full time job, a family, and, I don't know, hobbies that don't involve learning an entirely new language for someone else's instagram cloud. When I told her not to, even. I'm not even going to come if she doesn't ease up on the ASL only rule, that I'm being selfish and not supportive of her groundbreaking idea. My parents are on her side, of course, because they think it's cute and creative. They've already started practicing the Alphabet as if it's going to be enough. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm living in some kind of unhinged, dystopian reality where everyone is pretending this is a normal request for a wedding. Am I losing my mind here? No. [01:11:44] Speaker B: This was hilarious to read. [01:11:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, this is why I picked it. Like, I scrolled down a bit, and I found this one. [01:11:53] Speaker B: We also know who's the golden child. Yep. [01:11:58] Speaker A: Like, me personally, I know a bit of american sign language because I was at dork in middle school, and during lunch, I went to American Sign language club. And so, like, I can do the Alphabet. I can do a few words. I can do the national anthem in sign language, because that's what we practiced. Yeah, we had to do the Amer. We had to do the national anthem in sign language in front of the entire school. [01:12:31] Speaker B: How'd it go? [01:12:32] Speaker A: It went fine. [01:12:33] Speaker B: Ta da. [01:12:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I had. But, like, for some reason, like, I don't think, like, I've ever really had, like. Like, stage fright. Like, I'm like, whatever. No one's gonna remember. I mean, I barely remembered. And I did it. I was there. I also did a fucking. I played Brutus, and Julius Caesar liked to play, so I was the one that stabbed Caesar in the back. [01:13:04] Speaker B: Oh, this is not the dude who ate the ear, right? [01:13:07] Speaker A: No. [01:13:07] Speaker B: Okay. [01:13:08] Speaker A: No, it was, like, Julius Caesar. Um, you know, story of him. I don't know what the play is called. [01:13:16] Speaker B: Not mer. Murder. [01:13:18] Speaker A: No, that was Jesus. No, like, it. Like, it was the story of, like, Julius Caesar was, like, rise to power. And, like, I was his friend, and, like, a bunch of, like, fucking, you know, guys, like, came and stabbed him to death. I played Brutus. I was the first dude to stab Julius Caesar. [01:13:41] Speaker B: How'd that feel? [01:13:42] Speaker A: I mean, it was fine, because it was, like, one of my friends was also in the sign language club. Like, yeah, yeah. Like, I might have just been, like, a theater kid. I might have been, like, the only theater kid that didn't get my dick sucked. I missed out, like, a bunch of theater kids, like, fucked all the time. Like, I said, maybe high school. Like, I feel like maybe middle school. I don't know. I wasn't really interested in girls back then. [01:14:15] Speaker B: Where should you have been? [01:14:16] Speaker A: Whatever. Like, I saw, like, girls as, like, equals. I'm like, you know, you're like. You're like me. You're a person, and that now I see women as, like, you know, equals. I'm like, you pay taxes, it's fine. But let's see what the comments say about this fucking ASL wedding. Not the asshole. Your sister's request is unreasonable and inconsiderate. It's her wedding, and she has a right to make it unique. But expecting 200 guests to learn a new language to obtain is absurd and impractical. I'm not the asshole. Just RSVP and regret. You will not be attending if she wants. Signing an upraised middle finger should communicate your feelings more than adequately. What you should do is have your plus one be, like, a deaf person. Like, ha. Like, get a deaf friend. I do have a deaf friend, and, you know, have him come in and be, like, very proficient in american sign language and just sit there and, you know, criticize. Have this person criticize everyone else's sign language just the entire time, and they'll be confused because they have no idea they're getting criticized. There's, like, that person is very friendly, and they're just, like, calling him an idiot all the time. [01:16:12] Speaker B: I think it's very interesting that he added the word Instagram. Like, the. This chick is trying to make it for public opinion. Yeah, she's not just doing it for, like, herself. Like, she's doing it for her viewers. [01:16:24] Speaker A: Nothing over a wedding is on Instagram. You know, like, I have, like, pictures of my cat. I think I have, like, a couple, you know, like, comedy bits, but that's about it. [01:16:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:16:37] Speaker A: I need to get more on that and, like, do it more, but I'm just. I've been busy. Sorry. I've been having to clean my entire house because my dad's gonna come here and judge me for being a disgusting, dirty animal. [01:16:51] Speaker B: It's so good. [01:16:52] Speaker A: He's gonna, like, open the freezer and bag hot pockets. I raised you better than that. Ugh. And, like, you know, right me out of the will, you know, rightfully so. But that. That's it. Thank you all for being here. We will be back fucking again next goddamn week. I mean, we're, like, way over now. Yeah. [01:17:17] Speaker B: Next week is circus. [01:17:19] Speaker C: Yep. [01:17:19] Speaker A: You will see. We'll still, like, have an episode. [01:17:22] Speaker B: Okay. [01:17:23] Speaker A: We might have to, like, do it Sunday. Yeah. So. Yeah. So next. Next Saturday we will be at the circus because my wife's never been and I bought her tickets to go. [01:17:43] Speaker B: We're going to see the acrobats. [01:17:45] Speaker A: I guess. I have no idea what's going to happen, but until then, we will be back. Love you all. Whatever. Bye. [01:17:56] Speaker B: I do not love.