Printing Penis

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All righty. All righty. Another week, you know, with. With the human podcast. I'm your host, Alex the truck. We got my wife over here. Not. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Not the truck. [00:00:12] Speaker A: We got Courtney from across the land in California. [00:00:17] Speaker C: Yep. [00:00:17] Speaker A: No longer burning down. Congratulations. [00:00:20] Speaker C: Yep. [00:00:22] Speaker A: And you gotta take the victories recant. [00:00:25] Speaker C: Mm. [00:00:26] Speaker A: So this week, you know, let's just get into some, you know, things that I have done today. Like. Like, I. I want to start off with. With this whole, like, 10 minutes ago. So I went online. Like, I. I have this 3D printer, and I. I bought some flexible filament. We'll hop on up, mochi. And, you know, the first thing as a man, I'm like, obviously, I'm gonna print a penis. It's flexible, it's squishy. You know, duh. That's the obvious first choice. [00:01:09] Speaker B: All men must make a dick whenever presented with the opportunity. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Time to penis is a real thing. And, you know, pretty much I got it, ripped it open, threaded it in, everything went great, and then I printed this fucking monstrosity. Let me send it to you, Courtney. It is. [00:01:35] Speaker B: It's like the little tunnels you get for fish to swim through, only it's worse. [00:01:40] Speaker A: Like, imagine if coral made a penis. Like, this is what it is. [00:01:44] Speaker B: Okay. Coral would have done a better job. [00:01:48] Speaker C: Are you screen sharing it or sending it to me? [00:01:51] Speaker A: I'm texting it to you. [00:01:52] Speaker C: Okay. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Can an Android screen share with an iPhone? [00:01:56] Speaker A: Maybe? [00:01:59] Speaker C: So what the fuck is it supposed to be? [00:02:01] Speaker B: A penis. [00:02:07] Speaker C: Really? [00:02:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:09] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:02:11] Speaker A: Because it's supposed to have, like, you know, support on the inside. And I'm sure I did something wrong here. I'm sure somebody else has done it correctly and is like, oh, no, you have to fucking put in these settings, and then it'll run just fine. You know, get rid of the fucking inside, you know, make it go in a circle or whatever. And, like, I try to do it with the balls, and I cut the balls off, you know, like, I'm a vet. And because the balls just, you know, immediately went fucking haywire, I'm like, okay, now there's no way we can get the balls and the shaft. So I just. I cut the balls off in the slicer and I reprint it without just the shaft. That's all I wanted, just the shaft. And I'm like, this could work. Like, there's no way that this shouldn't work. This absolutely should work. And so I. I'm just. I'm watching it, the wobble while the. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Machine tried its best. [00:03:26] Speaker A: And so, like, the tip of it, you know, kept on, like, knocking it and shaking it, like, every time it passed by. [00:03:34] Speaker B: That's what she said. [00:03:36] Speaker A: So it's like, just, you know, hitting it. And it is, you know, it keeps, you know, a penile structure. Like, I would never shove this in a vagina like, this. That would suck. Like, this is, like, what you use for, like, you know, like a punishment. Maybe, like, put it in, like, Ghislaine Maxwell's Hoover. But this thing. [00:04:05] Speaker C: Oh, my God, I can't. [00:04:07] Speaker A: It is. [00:04:08] Speaker B: I can't even. [00:04:09] Speaker A: Probably gonna come to comedy with me on Monday. I'm probably gonna break this fucking thing out and be like. You know, there are days where you think you could do what everyone else does. I have the technology now to make a penis, but I can't, and I shouldn't. And I'll break this out and make, you know, fucking number one. This is why I should never be given access to anything that can make a penis. And I am just. I would have been stoked on life if it made, like, a real. Like, if it made a real good penis. [00:05:00] Speaker B: What is a good penis? [00:05:03] Speaker A: Something that doesn't look like this. Something that, you know, like. Like, doesn't have a flared base or anything. So I'm like. Like, it was just gonna be, like, a wall decoration. Now it can be a wall decoration. [00:05:17] Speaker B: You are not putting. Okay, you can put it on the wall in your own room. [00:05:20] Speaker A: And then people be like, what the fuck is that? I'm, like, guessing would know. I want all the guesses, please. [00:05:28] Speaker B: PB's tower. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Like. Like, this is like the fucking tower from Adventure Time that fucking Finn makes to go, like, try and get his dad. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Oh, that's a better reference than mine. I respect it. Yeah, and you're so right, too. Like, yeah, no, way better than mine. So also, this. This is how much Adventure Time my husband has been subjected to. [00:05:57] Speaker A: See, like, I'll put on a new anime every now and again and then fall asleep immediately because, like, I'll watch anime, like, in the room. And, like, when I'm, like, nice, warm and comfortable, it's game over for me. Like, as a dude, like, I. Like, I unders. Like, men don't fall asleep, you know, after they nut because, like, they're, like, black widows. Like, none of that. They fall asleep after they nut because they're comfortable. Like, their brains are flooded with serotonin. It's like, ah. And now they're in, like, a warm bed, and their body is all warm. [00:06:43] Speaker B: Okay? The long and the short of it. Is Alex got me started on solo leveling up. And I got to the end of the first season and I was like, oh, shit, that's it. And I was about to subject myself to watching Sword Art Online again because I needed those vibes and praise to a non existent deity. There is a season two. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Oh, there's so many of those fucking. [00:07:06] Speaker B: Thank God. I was about to go watch Sword Art lion. And I was about to demean myself in a manner that I can't. [00:07:11] Speaker A: I'll give you like 10 more. Like, there's so many of them, you know, the Isekais. Anything's better where you wake up in a different world, you know, oh, I died. I'm in a different world. [00:07:27] Speaker C: Yep. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Like, Courtney, do you. Do you watch any of those animes? [00:07:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, that's like. But it's like so popular right now. That's why. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Yeah. Sword Art Online fucking popularized it. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Yeah. It made its own genre, like, respect. [00:07:42] Speaker A: Well, I mean, here's the thing. Dot Hack did it first and, you know, I don't really give a shit anymore. Dot Hack was way fucking better. [00:07:51] Speaker B: I've never seen Dot Hack, so I can't condone or admire. [00:07:56] Speaker A: Dot Hack was so good. They made three games based on it and I bought it years after they all came out for like, all three games for like 70 bucks. [00:08:07] Speaker B: Were the games good? [00:08:08] Speaker A: Yeah, games are amazing. [00:08:10] Speaker B: That's all that matters. [00:08:14] Speaker A: And yeah, I mean, like, they're just like RPGs and decent games. I mean, if you. If you don't think so, fight me on it. I don't give a. And the second thing that happened yesterday is my friend, you know, came out of the woodworks and is like, hey, yo, have you been on Twitter lately? And I'm like, no, not really. [00:08:44] Speaker B: X. [00:08:44] Speaker A: It's X. But I still. We all still call Twitter. It's fine. Twitter tweets. It's like you can't get away from it. [00:08:50] Speaker B: Yeah, that wrecks or tracks. [00:08:53] Speaker A: But apparently Kanye west, or Yay, as he is now known as, has been going on his account and just fucking nuking is so bad. I am not going to read anything he has said on it. Like that one of the tamest things he said on his Twitter was, I forgot to say retard. That was retarded of me. And he's just been going off and just like Twitter itself, like, even with Elon Musk, you know, has been like, going through like, most of his tweets and like, this one has limited visibility because it is hateful speech. This One is hateful speech. This is hateful speech. Holy shit. Hateful speech. And it, like, blocks him. And you have to, like, click to, you know, fucking see how racist he's going to get. And I. I feel like I would feel bad for him if he wasn't a billionaire, but he's been naming names, posting phone numbers, going wild. Like, Instagram banned him. Instagram took away his account, like, immediately. Like, you, dude. No. And I guess he was doing, you know, all his racist over there and for, like, two days straight now. Like, I. I'm sure he's posted something more recently. Like, let's see, you know how. Oh, yeah. [00:10:51] Speaker C: Hola. [00:10:52] Speaker A: What up? Yeah, let me open it up so you don't have to ask permission no more. I don't know why that's, like, normal thing that I can do. [00:11:02] Speaker C: Yeah, sorry about that. I. I don't know how. Wyatt hung up. [00:11:12] Speaker A: Yeah, he. He said two minutes ago. This is my final tweet get tonight. Good evening. And it's like, oh, my. Yeah, if you want. Holy. He's selling swastika shirts now. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's. It's bad, but kind of funny to, like, watch, like, a billionaire that has nothing to lose. Just go for it. Just ruin ev. Like, if he was a normal person, he would have been fired. Like, if I did this, I work as a trucker, I'd have been fired. Like. Like, I would have lost a bunch. Yeah. To all you Jewish husband, come get your. Just every, like, like 2000 just tweets. [00:12:27] Speaker C: Wow. [00:12:31] Speaker A: And I feel bad for his kids. [00:12:39] Speaker B: He has more than one, I'm sure. Okay, who are we talking about? [00:12:44] Speaker A: Kanye West. [00:12:46] Speaker C: Okay. [00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah, like, he has more than just North. [00:12:50] Speaker A: I'm sure he has South, east, west, and Adolf Hitler at this point. [00:12:57] Speaker B: He can't have. No, he can't name a child west because then it'd be West West. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Yeah, he can. Elon Musk named his kid numbers. Okay. [00:13:07] Speaker B: Okay. But if he names his kid south and then the kid's name is Southwest, the Southwest gets a Sue. [00:13:13] Speaker A: Why? It's a kid's name, but it's there. [00:13:15] Speaker C: Yeah, it's not a name. They can't. It. They can't do that. People can name their kids whatever they want. [00:13:22] Speaker A: I can name. [00:13:23] Speaker C: They just wouldn't be able to start, like, another business. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:13:28] Speaker A: Yeah, you can name your kid, like, Disney if you want. [00:13:35] Speaker C: So there was this guy who named his dentistry Better dental. And you're not supposed to do that. You're supposed to, like, be better at Something else like proven, you know, and he wasn't. So he legally changed his very last name to better. So he was able to keep the name. [00:13:56] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [00:13:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:57] Speaker A: He has four kids. [00:13:59] Speaker B: He does. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:02] Speaker B: With the same mother. [00:14:04] Speaker A: Yeah, with Kim Kardashian. [00:14:07] Speaker B: Okay. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Chicago and Psalm. Oh, so I wasn't far off. [00:14:17] Speaker B: No, you were not. I mean, okay, like hundreds of years ago. People are also naming their kids basic ass. Like this isn't a new thing. [00:14:35] Speaker A: I mean, we have the same name. [00:14:37] Speaker B: I know. Which is literally the only reason why I have not legally changed my first name is because it's fun to introduce. Cuz like, okay, so whenever we meet somebody new, Alex always says, I'm Alex Pacheco and shakes the hand. And then I also say I'm also Alex Pacheco and I shake the hand. It's fun. [00:14:59] Speaker C: Oh my gosh, you guys are so funny. [00:15:02] Speaker B: The number of people who just like, you see them like, they like freeze and you see the circle of like loading information, then they're like, oh wait, like see the circle? It's so funny. Otherwise I would have changed my legal name a long time ago. [00:15:27] Speaker A: To what? [00:15:28] Speaker B: Beverly. [00:15:30] Speaker A: Just back. Hello, My name is Bev. [00:15:32] Speaker B: I know. No, literally my name would be Bevy and it would be great. [00:15:37] Speaker A: I'd call you Beverage. [00:15:38] Speaker B: Exactly. No, that's the whole point. I can be whatever beverage I fucking want. Like I can make my middle name Cosmo. [00:15:48] Speaker A: I mean you can still change your middle name. It's just turns into a fucking whole ass shit. Like you know. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Okay, well no, I have to pay money to the state. I need to submit a court appeal and then I need to submit to an ad to newspaper that states my name has changed for three months. And then once I have proof of that, I. I can get my name legally changed. It's like a law where like if you like change your name, apparently you have to post it in a newspaper. So like people who might know you actually know. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Let's see. How to change your name legally in Colorado, you must file a petition with the district or county court near residence. Complete a finger, fingerprint based criminal check, which I'll pass. Publish a notice of your name change in a newspaper three months. I think it's only once. Update your criminal history with the new name. Notified the D A office were convicted. Apply for a new Social Security card. [00:16:50] Speaker B: That was, that's what I was told last time I talked to a DMV agent. So I'm not far off base. But again, it's a lot of Work. And I still like being introduced as the Alex's son. [00:17:04] Speaker A: Like, you know, be cool is like if you can change your name and like you just like up one little thing and then your, your credit just starts back at like 700. Like so if you have like a shitty credit you can expect. Yeah. Now I'm John and it's like ah, he has you know, new credit again. You can do the same thing with a business. I don't see why you can't do it with a name. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Wait, so your default credit score is 700. That's what you start off with. [00:17:33] Speaker C: No it's not. [00:17:34] Speaker A: What do you mean it's not? [00:17:36] Speaker C: No it's not. [00:17:39] Speaker A: Let's see, where does your credit score start out at? Your credit score doesn't start at zero, but it can start around 500 or higher. The lowest score is 300, but most people don't start there. [00:17:53] Speaker B: What do you do if your credit score is 0? Like what happens then? [00:17:57] Speaker A: You can't have a lowest at 300. [00:18:00] Speaker B: So 300 is zero. What? [00:18:03] Speaker A: 300 is the zero? Yes. [00:18:04] Speaker B: Oh my God. So what happens when you drop this down to 300? You're no longer allowed to be a US citizen. [00:18:11] Speaker A: If you have a 300 credit score, you up royally. [00:18:14] Speaker B: But what are the consequences? [00:18:17] Speaker C: You don't won't be able to open a credit card, get a home loan, any type of loan, anything. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I, I have very good credit. [00:18:27] Speaker B: How the do we buy a house with my lowest credit score? [00:18:30] Speaker A: Cuz I have a high ass credit score and I have a high ass earnings. [00:18:35] Speaker B: This is true. Yeah. [00:18:40] Speaker A: So. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:18:43] Speaker A: So your credit like when you're born, your credit score does not exist? [00:18:48] Speaker B: I would hope not. [00:18:50] Speaker A: But when you start, you know, opening up stuff then you know exists. [00:18:55] Speaker B: So the second you open a bank account, you're owned by the amount of money you owe. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Yeah, kinda so. But usually the 625 to 700 range. [00:19:10] Speaker B: So after I pay off and close on my credit cards, what will my credit score go up? [00:19:14] Speaker A: No, go down. [00:19:16] Speaker C: Go down. [00:19:18] Speaker B: Okay. I can't win no matter what. [00:19:21] Speaker A: Well, what you do is you pay them off and let them set. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Yeah, fuck that noise. All my credit cards are closed and I'm paying them off. I never ever want to have a credit card again. It did not go well. None of them have gone, Alex. [00:19:36] Speaker C: That's the thing, you don't use it. [00:19:39] Speaker B: I know Courtney, and it's for my brain. It's free money until I have to pay too much back for it. Oh God, we all know I'm not good with this shit. [00:19:49] Speaker A: It's like getting a firm. It's like you can pay with it for all of. [00:19:53] Speaker B: God, that's such a death trap. [00:19:56] Speaker A: And it's like, okay, cool. [00:19:58] Speaker B: Such a death trap. [00:19:59] Speaker A: I'm like, or I could just pay with the money I have. And then I do that. And I'm like, cool. [00:20:07] Speaker B: It'S a trap. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Now the second that Donald Trump Jr. Starts financing guns. [00:20:16] Speaker B: Wait, he's still alive? I thought he got shot. [00:20:18] Speaker C: No, no, he's alive. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Poor thing. [00:20:22] Speaker A: He's a. He's actually a pretty nice business dude. And I'm gonna invest into his company. Pew. You know, it's a gun company and I love it. [00:20:32] Speaker B: Oh, if it's guns and you're here for it. [00:20:34] Speaker A: I'm here for it. Yes. And since a lot of banks and stuff like that do not like to invest into guns, you know, same thing with like marijuana. They don't want to invest anything into marijuana. [00:20:49] Speaker B: People are losers. [00:20:52] Speaker A: But you know, like I, I see the liability. You know, where a bank, you know, allows a dude to go get an AR15 and then he goes, goes and shoots people with it. I can see, you know, someone trying to sue the bank and it just being a nightmare for them. [00:21:17] Speaker C: Nope. [00:21:18] Speaker A: But they're gonna create a company that allows people like, there is ways to find finance guns. Yes. Like through Cordova and. But if there's like more ways, then guess what, you don't have all the. [00:21:33] Speaker C: Wait, can you just buy it with a credit card? [00:21:36] Speaker A: A gun? [00:21:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:38] Speaker A: Yeah. But your credit card can also cancel your account. [00:21:43] Speaker C: Really? [00:21:43] Speaker A: Yes. And it has happened multiple times. It's not just a one off thing. Like if you have a bank with like Chase and you have a credit card through Chase and you buy a gun with your credit card, they'll close your account and just send you money that you have and demand everything back. [00:22:02] Speaker C: What will they do? [00:22:03] Speaker A: They'll close your account. This has happened let a Chase closing bank after gun purchase. Yeah. In 2014, a gun store owner reported that Chase bank closed his account after labeling his business a prohibited business type. Banks may close account if they suspect fraud, suspicious activity, such as large withdrawals or unusual spikes in activity. But yes, Chase bank has closed accounts on gun store owners in the past. Banks can close accounts for any reason without notice. [00:22:53] Speaker B: So if your bank declines it on their own terms, do you still get the fee? [00:22:59] Speaker A: What do you mean like the fee? [00:23:05] Speaker B: Yeah, like if my, like if my debit card gets declined or whatnot. Cuz I'm broke as fuck. They give a fee? [00:23:12] Speaker A: No. Like, if they get the decline, it's like they tell you to go fuck yourself and. But yeah, I mean, so, yes, you. You can fucking lose your bank account. Like, it's not going to happen, but it's not fucking worth it. Paying 26% on a gun. If I can pay 10% on a gun, then, yeah, I'll do that. Like, let's see, Bud's Gun Shop. You know, like, this is like. Yes. I'm 18 years older, like, going to, like, used guns and like, let's see. It's a lot of trash. Oh, God damn. Holy garbage. Oh, my goodness. Okay, let's just, like, look at, like, a Glock. But, yeah, you can get financing as low as 5225amonth on like a 500 gun. So login. [00:24:43] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:24:47] Speaker A: What? [00:24:48] Speaker B: Oh, I want my beverage. [00:24:50] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. Through Cordova. [00:24:54] Speaker B: That is not one I've come across before. There's so many of them now, though. [00:25:02] Speaker A: Yeah, but you know that they'll allow you to, you know, buy it an APR of 35%. Jesus Christ. That's why you read the fine goddamn PR. My advice to anyone out there wanting to, you know, make a big purchase, you know, if you need to make the big purchase, you know, car, you know, medical, you know, you can get a, you know, kind of like a 5% loan on it, but if you don't, if it's like a. I want this, like a gun, don't finance that. Just buy it outright. You know, save money. Put money into, like, a jar or whatever, you know, shove it in there. And then, you know, once you, you know, hit the number that you have to hit, you know, break open your jar and then go buy it. Cash. Done. You know, yes, it sucks, but once it's done, it's done. The. Was that. [00:26:25] Speaker B: I don't know. I think it's the thing that vibrated under me earlier. [00:26:28] Speaker A: That's probably my work phone. It's probably dying. Like, I've had my work phone for so goddamn long that the battery, like, it gives me this warning like, your battery's gonna explode. And I'm like, cool, let it. Oh, you okay over there? [00:26:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I got a little heartburn. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Heartburn. That sucks. [00:26:57] Speaker C: Oh, sorry, guys. I didn't think. I took some pills that were supposed to. I take. I got the same. I told Alex about them. They're called Pre Leaf. And, like, if you want to take something else than what you're normally taking, sometimes they can be Good. Because you take them before your meal, or you drink water that has. Or whatever beverage you have that you add the powder to. So there's pills or powder. [00:27:30] Speaker A: So. But let's get into the. The big thing. Super bowl is tomorrow. I mean, if you're listening to this, you know, on super bowl, what the fuck are you doing? [00:27:42] Speaker B: Okay, I'm super confused. [00:27:43] Speaker A: What? [00:27:44] Speaker B: Because in Thanksgiving, you are. There's like a big football thing, and then now there's a big football thing. Like, what's the difference? [00:27:51] Speaker A: The turkey bowl. [00:27:52] Speaker B: What the fuck is a turkey bowl? [00:27:54] Speaker A: So fucking, you know, a bunch of teams playing. That way, fucking people can watch football, you know, on Thanksgiving while the women sit inside the kitchen and cook. [00:28:04] Speaker B: So does this affect the Super Bowl? [00:28:07] Speaker A: No. [00:28:08] Speaker B: So there's two different types of bowls. Turkey bowl, including a dust bowl. Is this just invented to prevent family drama? [00:28:17] Speaker A: Probably. [00:28:18] Speaker B: But then it makes it worse because then there's teams on top of politics. Politics and teams combined. [00:28:26] Speaker A: But, you know, normally fucking, you know, families will go out and play football in, like, the backyard or whatever. Did you do that NFL turkey bowl? [00:28:37] Speaker B: Is it like the kitten bowl or. No? [00:28:39] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah. It's like the same thing. [00:28:41] Speaker B: I love the kitten bowl. Especially when the cats. Kittens are napping. Best part. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Like. [00:28:53] Speaker B: Like, if it's a turkey bowl, why send it a tofurky bowl? [00:28:58] Speaker A: What? [00:28:59] Speaker B: Like, there's tofurkey. [00:29:01] Speaker A: It's not tofu. It's football. [00:29:04] Speaker B: But what's the difference? [00:29:07] Speaker A: It's a sport. And the other is processed garbage. [00:29:12] Speaker B: But which noise is better, tofurkey or turkey bowl? [00:29:18] Speaker A: Turkey bowl by, like, miles. [00:29:23] Speaker B: Why do you like those noises as opposed to tofurkey? [00:29:28] Speaker A: You threatened to divorce me if I bought tofurkey. [00:29:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I did, and I'm proud of that. [00:29:37] Speaker C: Why? Oh, why didn't you want to even try it? [00:29:43] Speaker B: Because I married a caveman on purpose. I like tofu. [00:29:52] Speaker C: Really needs to live longer than you, Alex. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Okay, I love tofu, but I don't. I get when tofu is disguised as other things, then it's tofu that is made of lies. [00:30:03] Speaker C: Oh, my God, Alex, you're hilarious. [00:30:06] Speaker A: That now I feel like it's just not called the. You know. Yeah, it's just Thanksgiving Day football. Like, that's lame. Yeah. Like, I always called it the fucking turkey bowl, I think. [00:30:19] Speaker B: Why is it important? Is it the same thing as a Super Bowl? [00:30:23] Speaker A: I have no idea. [00:30:25] Speaker B: You have no idea? But you're making bets. [00:30:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm making bets based on what my friends believe. [00:30:34] Speaker B: Wait, based on or against well, it's the same thing. It is? [00:30:40] Speaker A: Yeah. They believe that Kansas City is going to get the three peat, and I love stirring up drama, and I voted for Philadelphia to win. [00:30:53] Speaker B: So you did it in spite of. Yeah, that answers my question then. [00:31:01] Speaker A: So, yes, I. I do have $10 on Philly to win it, and I. I don't think Kansas City is going to get it. [00:31:14] Speaker B: Honestly, if it's not the 49ers, I don't give a. [00:31:18] Speaker A: Why do you like the 49ers? [00:31:20] Speaker B: Because I support the Sharks. [00:31:24] Speaker A: What? [00:31:25] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:26] Speaker A: Since when? [00:31:27] Speaker B: Always. I've always supported the Sharks. Why is this new news to you? [00:31:33] Speaker A: The 49ers. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Okay. If I'm going to support the Sharks, I might as well support the 49ers. [00:31:40] Speaker A: What? [00:31:41] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:41] Speaker A: That doesn't even make sense. [00:31:43] Speaker B: Makes sense to me. [00:31:45] Speaker A: The San Francisco 49ers does not support any Sharks, okay? [00:31:52] Speaker B: I'm talking about the San Diego. San Diego Sharks that I skate. Not ice skating, ice skate. Sky. The hockey team. [00:32:00] Speaker A: The San Jose Sharks. [00:32:02] Speaker B: I did my best, okay? I only call them the Sharks because I like sharks. I like sharks. They're my favorite type of fish. [00:32:10] Speaker A: Yeah, they're the same. [00:32:11] Speaker C: Seriously? [00:32:11] Speaker B: Yes. They're my favorite type of fish. [00:32:13] Speaker A: You know, we have a ice hockey team out here in Colorado, and I don't give a. [00:32:18] Speaker B: Is their logo a shark? No. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Believe. But I could be wrong. Colorado hockey team? Yeah. Colorado Avalanche. [00:32:30] Speaker B: Are they sharks? [00:32:32] Speaker A: No, it's like a fucking little A. That has, like a little avalanche going down it. [00:32:35] Speaker B: Exactly. It's not a shark. [00:32:40] Speaker A: I mean, like, there's a Vancouver Canucks. I don't even think the fucking Sharks play anymore. Let's see. [00:32:49] Speaker B: I don't know either. I just like sharks. [00:32:53] Speaker A: But, like, I, I, I. Oh, yep, they do. San Jose Sharks still play. [00:33:00] Speaker B: I like Sharks. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Let's see how bad they were, though. [00:33:05] Speaker B: My. My second favorite fish are piranha. Although I also really like Tiger fish. But I'm also really attached to a Wells Catfish. It has to be a Wells Catfish. That's my second favorite fish. [00:33:19] Speaker A: They lost against the Ducks. Beat the Kraken. [00:33:22] Speaker B: They always lose against the Ducks. It's tradition. [00:33:26] Speaker A: It's not a tradition. You know, the lost against the Blue Jackets, the Predators, the Golden Knights, the Devils. They lost against the Ducks. Again, lost against the Stars. Lose. [00:33:37] Speaker B: Okay, I support the Sharks and I lose. Yep. [00:33:42] Speaker A: Lose. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Doesn't matter if they lose. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Lose, lose, lose, lose, lose. Fucking losing. God damn. [00:33:53] Speaker B: Yeah, and I don't care. They have sharks. Sharks. I love sharks. [00:34:01] Speaker A: They're actually playing right now and losing right now. [00:34:05] Speaker B: I like sharks. I don't care if they win or lose. [00:34:09] Speaker A: I'm gonna vote again. I'm gonna make so much money, I'm gonna pay off the house. You know, betting against the Sharks, then. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Clearly you will win. Let's pay off the house. Do it. [00:34:21] Speaker A: The Canadians, the Canucks, they. They. They did beat the Penguins, though. [00:34:29] Speaker B: Anybody can beat the Penguins. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Yeah. No. Lost. Lost. Holy. I'm looking for a win. Oh, they beat the Red Wings. [00:34:43] Speaker B: It's California. We always root for the underdog. [00:34:47] Speaker A: I mean, there's no point in that. [00:34:50] Speaker B: No, it's the best part. What's more fun than rooting for the loser? If you root for the winner, the winner wins. And then that's kind of it. [00:34:59] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That's the way it should be. Like, that's the way every fucking feel Good movie should ever end. It's like the fucking guy that's been practicing forever, you know, Karate Kid comes in, you know, and the guy that's been practicing forever, you know, and the kid that's been taught by Mr. Miyagi, you know, Mr. Miyagi isn't as good of a teacher as he thought. The kid gets his ass whooped, and then Mr. Miyagi slinks away. It's like, oh, I lose this on a. [00:35:30] Speaker B: There's nothing wrong with losing. That means you made an effort. And when you win, that means the other person has lost. Is it? And isn't that kind of sad? [00:35:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, speaking of people that lost, LG is sending free stickers to the 500,000 customers who bought its recalled stove that caused 28 house fires. [00:36:00] Speaker B: What kind of stickers? [00:36:02] Speaker A: That's what I wanted to know. LG is recalling 500,000 electric ranges that have been involved in 28 fires, causing several injuries. However, customers who comply aren't receiving refunds or exchanges. They're getting stickers. [00:36:21] Speaker B: What the. [00:36:24] Speaker A: That's so up. Consumer Product Safety Commission sent an alert that it received 86 reports of unintentional activation of the front mounted knobs from humans and pets that can pose a fire hazard. [00:36:41] Speaker B: Good boys. Oh, no. They. They're doing their best. [00:36:47] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:36:50] Speaker A: Customers who respond on LG's website will get a warning label that comes with placement instructions and a reminder for customers to push a lock button when the range isn't in use to prevent unintentional activation of the stove. [00:37:04] Speaker B: Osha. What OSHA doesn't know doesn't hurt osha, but it hurts you. [00:37:09] Speaker A: Well, that's not osha, but so yeah, they're just getting a warning label sticker and that's it. [00:37:18] Speaker B: Yeah, they're appeasing osha. That's all the fuck they have to do. [00:37:22] Speaker A: Well, fucking. They're trying to get rid of OSHA and all that shit. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Why? Okay, osha's a bitch, but it's important. [00:37:30] Speaker A: Why? [00:37:31] Speaker C: Yeah, because it's her safety. [00:37:34] Speaker B: It's important to protect people against people being idiots. [00:37:39] Speaker A: Let them. I say, take the safety stickers off of everything. Let Darwin awards fly. [00:37:45] Speaker C: Yeah, well, no, like, not all of it is impractical. [00:37:51] Speaker B: Yeah, no, some of the stuff is like really good. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Like name one thing. [00:37:55] Speaker B: Okay, so according to osha, if you get bit by a cat, you need to go to the nearest urgent care and receive care because you can die from a cat bite. A chick who was a relief vet. So not under our jurisdiction, like the company. Like it was under their company jurisdiction. Like the chick got bit by cat on like her hand, like right below her thumb. And her company was like, nah, you're fine. Two weeks later she is hospitalized cause the cat back infection has moved into her tendon and she ended up having her thumb amputated cause started getting necrotic. [00:38:28] Speaker A: And then you get to sue your company. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Oh, I hope she, I hope she fucking did. But the whole point is OSHA says if this happens, you need to go to a doctor because what happened to her will happen to you. [00:38:40] Speaker A: And then OSHA fucking probably swooped in, collected, you know, $100,000 from the company. [00:38:46] Speaker B: God, I hope so. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Nothing for that girl. Zero. [00:38:49] Speaker B: Oh no, her thumb's amputated. What the fuck are they supposed to do for her now? [00:38:53] Speaker A: Give her money? [00:38:54] Speaker B: I mean, technically she could have her like big toe cut off and like attached to her hand in order for it to function like a thumb. Like she could have had that done. [00:39:04] Speaker A: I mean, there's nothing stopping companies from having their own safety regulations. You know, osha, all it does is it goes around bullying people, taking money from people from companies and especially smaller companies to just be like, hey, guess what? [00:39:20] Speaker B: And I think OSHA is more important in the medical field than it is in your field in different ways. [00:39:27] Speaker A: I don't deal with OSHA at all. [00:39:29] Speaker B: Like we deal with OSHA on a monthly basis. Like we're lucky enough that we get warnings before 24 hours. Yeah, and then before OSHA shows up, other places don't get the warning. And that really sucks ass for them. [00:39:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, everyone gets a warning. You know, someone Paul Reveres it comes into town, says, hey, osha's here and everyone, you know goes and makes sure that all their shit's good to go. You know, that way when OSHA comes through, they don't see the worst of the worst. So it's like, oh, cool, OSHA is gonna come tomorrow. Let's fucking get rid of, you know, all these fucking OSHA violations. [00:40:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:11] Speaker A: And then the second OSHA goes away, they all come back. So OSHA actually doesn't do anything. [00:40:17] Speaker B: That only happens when they don't give warnings. When they give warnings, it's different. But if you're not given a warning, well, sucks to be you. [00:40:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And then guess what? OSHA comes in and it's like, hey, company, we're gonna fine you $100,000. And then the company is like, cool, we're closing their doors. Hey, everyone, you're all fired because OSHA fucking put us out of business. So you all now fucking just lost your jobs because OSHA. [00:40:45] Speaker B: I'm sorry, OSHA's a bitch, but I still understand why they exist and I'm grateful for it. [00:40:50] Speaker C: Nope, like, I mean, you say that, but I mean, think about all the people who have been fucking killed because. [00:40:58] Speaker A: Because, because they want to put a forklift on a forklift and try and reach a box or. [00:41:04] Speaker C: No, like, for stupid ass reasons. They like dying a tragedy in some. Look it up. Yeah, there's a bunch of workplaces. [00:41:13] Speaker A: Yeah, there was a dude that, you know, got caught in a dryer because he was stomping on it, trying to get it in. That's him being dumb and getting his own Darwin. [00:41:22] Speaker C: But some of it isn't like that, though. [00:41:26] Speaker A: I mean, if you can give me a situation where osha, you know, could have saved the day. Oh, wait, they exist and they didn't save the day. Anyway, you might. [00:41:36] Speaker B: Osha, Are you mad at dot? Because what's the difference? [00:41:39] Speaker A: No, like, DOT is not osha. Not even close. [00:41:43] Speaker C: Well, I mean, think about it. What if something on your truck was broken and they didn't fix it and you died because of that? You'd be pissed off, right? [00:41:53] Speaker B: It's a rental truck. [00:41:55] Speaker A: No, see, what happens is, is my responsibility as a driver to come in in the morning and make sure that my truck is done. It is called the something. [00:42:08] Speaker C: Yeah, but you say that they, they've sometimes taken months for repairs. Yeah, but like, the reason why that you do that is because of the companies. Not like doing that before. [00:42:22] Speaker A: No. [00:42:23] Speaker C: And now it used to not be mandated, so. [00:42:26] Speaker A: Well, what happens is if the truck is not safe to go I just don't go. I stay. [00:42:33] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:42:34] Speaker A: And they pay me for the entire. [00:42:35] Speaker C: But it used to not be like that. That's not the whole point. [00:42:39] Speaker A: No, that's not osha. That's me. That's me saying you on my own accord, because I'm not going to go fucking die for you. OSHA has nothing. OSHA is not in trucks. The FMCSA is in trucks. OSHA has nothing to do with that. [00:42:56] Speaker C: But still, it's safety measures. [00:42:59] Speaker A: No, it's me saying, you, I'm not going to die for you. And if a truck driver decides to get in the truck anyway and, you know, drive, and then the tire blows up or whatever happens. Oh, the brakes gave out. And it's like, if you don't know how to, you know, inspect your truck thoroughly. [00:43:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:21] Speaker A: You should not be a truck driver. And I. I say that wholeheartedly. [00:43:24] Speaker B: And I respect that, actually. [00:43:27] Speaker C: So it's true. Ever since OSHA has started having safety measures, the number of fatalities in high risk sectors like construction and manufacturing has dropped significantly. [00:43:42] Speaker A: They just put in rules and they're like, hey, maybe don't do that. And they're like, okay, cool. You know, and then people just got smarter after watching people die. Oh, look, the fire is hot. Maybe everyone shouldn't put their hand in the fire. And then OSHA comes through and like, hey, look, we caused it. It's like, no, other people didn't want to die for minimum wage. [00:44:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:06] Speaker A: Like I say, get rid of OSHA and see what happens. Because there are some fucking dumb people that just need to die. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Like, but they take other people with them sometimes, too. [00:44:18] Speaker A: That. That's fucking collateral damage. I'm. That's fine. [00:44:21] Speaker B: Like, I'm not disagreeing with you because at my last clinic, we did radiation therapy for hypothyroidism. And so it was a big deal that we were dealing with radioactive material. And so, of course, OSHA was coming by, like, every three months to make sure we, as employees were being as protected as we could against the radiation. And that was important. [00:44:44] Speaker A: Yeah, but was your company also making sure that you were protected against the radiation? [00:44:48] Speaker B: You were owned by the vet who ran the. [00:44:52] Speaker A: Yes, but was he making sure that you were protected? Yeah. [00:44:55] Speaker B: No, he was doing everything he could to make sure we were protected. And you want to know something cool? So when you take X rays, you're covered by lead to protect you, but when lead is over 6 inches thick, it actually increases radiation. So when you're handling with. So when you were in our clinic, Handling reactive material, you actually had no guard at all. Like we had like brick cements that we were able to be hid behind when handling the actual material itself. But like the doctor who owned the practice, all the most important dangerous bits he did all by himself and none of us as employees were allowed to help him. [00:45:34] Speaker A: Because guess what if you, because he. [00:45:35] Speaker B: Made damn sure that we were protected. And in that point, when dealing with radiation, OSHA does serve a very important purpose. [00:45:43] Speaker A: Yeah, not really, because guess what, if you get cancer, you know, based on that radiation, you can come around and sue him for millions. [00:45:51] Speaker B: Which is why he made sure we weren't involved in the most important bits. [00:45:55] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Which is kind of like annoying because then I had to beg the insurance to cover my hysterectomy as it opposed to being life threatening due to radiation exposure. So yes, I mean, so I respect osha and I hate health insurance. [00:46:15] Speaker A: I mean, I, I don't respect osha. I, I, you know, like it like a. As you know, individuals, it is your responsibility to make sure you are safe and that the people around you are safe. You know, it's like if you alara to the ground. Like, you know, when you get into your car every day, you know, and you drive to the store, you don't do it at, you know, 200 miles an hour. You don't put your foot to the ground and then back. I mean, you're not supposed to. [00:46:49] Speaker B: You're not supposed to, but you know. [00:46:51] Speaker A: You are making sure that you stop at the stop signs, that you stop at the stoplights. [00:46:55] Speaker B: I mean, like they said, you do. [00:46:56] Speaker A: That and you know, you're fucking looking around, making sure that you're not bumping into other cars, making sure you're not running over children, because guess what? You're fucking taking responsibility for your safety and the safety of people around you, fucking being smart. [00:47:10] Speaker B: But if I drive one of the bumper carts at like a store and I run over a child, who is at fault? [00:47:16] Speaker A: You. [00:47:17] Speaker B: I am. Yes, but I'm on. [00:47:19] Speaker A: I, yes, you are at fault. You assaulted someone with a deadly weapon. You will get arrested and, and you will fucking go to jail and you will have to face, you know, repercussions and you probably will have to pay for that kid's entire medical debt by yourself. [00:47:34] Speaker B: But I'm in prison and I can't make money. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Guess what? They're just gonna start taking your stuff. [00:47:40] Speaker B: Oh, select the cats. [00:47:43] Speaker A: They're gonna take your car. You know, they're gonna fucking go to your bank account, fucking empty that Shit out and then make. Aw. [00:47:49] Speaker B: They'll get 17 cents and then make. [00:47:52] Speaker A: You work in prison. [00:47:54] Speaker B: Doing what? [00:47:56] Speaker A: Doing whatever the fuck. Whatever, like, and then, you know, you'll get fucking paid peanuts for that. And then the second you get out, you have to fucking pay restitution. [00:48:07] Speaker B: Does that mean wage garnishment? [00:48:09] Speaker A: Yes. That means you have to fucking, you know, continue fucking paying for this. [00:48:13] Speaker B: Okay. When your weights get garnished, do they take the whole thing or do they take like a part of it? [00:48:17] Speaker A: Part of it? Yeah, they, they, you know, they're like, okay, you can survive on this much. [00:48:24] Speaker B: And how do they do the calculations? [00:48:26] Speaker A: They, you know, fucking base it on your rent and on your bills and then they fucking take all the rest. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Some of my co workers, she's getting her wages in and like, like whatever the. Like, she's getting her wages garnished and I have no idea why. And she won't tell any of us why. And I'm just like, oh, she knows why. Of course she knows why. [00:48:49] Speaker A: But you know that. [00:48:51] Speaker B: But I want to know why you don't. I know my curiosity is not a good thing. What the fuck are you doing? [00:48:57] Speaker A: Don't worry about it. [00:49:00] Speaker C: Oh my God. [00:49:01] Speaker B: What the fuck did you just do? [00:49:02] Speaker A: Don't worry about it. [00:49:06] Speaker B: You wouldn't sprinkle that on my pussy, right? [00:49:09] Speaker A: What? How drunk are you? [00:49:12] Speaker B: Enough to ask you that, probably. [00:49:15] Speaker A: It's fucking great shit. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Oh my God. At least it's not ranch. If you're put. If you ever put ranch on my pussy, we are done. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Okay. I'll know how to end it when I'm like, done. [00:49:29] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:49:30] Speaker A: It's pretty quick. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Yeah, Like, I would never. I'll make a. I would never put ketchup on your dick. I'm sorry. I would never do that. [00:49:40] Speaker A: No, I'd do it and I put it in a bun bag. Merry Christmas. Haha. [00:49:44] Speaker B: Okay. Would there be bacon and avocado involved? [00:49:47] Speaker A: I'd fucking, you know, make it look like a whole, you know, real ass dick. And then, you know, just stick my dick in there and, you know, put ketchup, you know, and relish and shit. And like, you wouldn't be able to see the dick and be like, why are you holding it so weird? And like, I'm gonna take a bite. [00:50:07] Speaker B: If you walked up to me with a fucking sandwich clearly attached to your hips, I wouldn't ask why. I would. I would eat it though, and I would chomp fur firmly, see how long you would last before you freaked out. [00:50:22] Speaker A: And pull away you know, it'd be funny is like if I actually put like a real hot dog in there. And like my penis was like in my pants and you're like, it's just a regular hot dog. I'm like. [00:50:36] Speaker B: Don'T set me up like that ever does. I'll fall for it. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, yeah. [00:50:46] Speaker B: If you're, if you approached me with a quote unquote hot dog, clearly held where your dick would be, I would definitely buy it. I've 100% trust you. And then I'd bite as hard as I could. Yes, but nicely. [00:51:03] Speaker A: But government, you know, operation, like, we don't need any fucking oversight. You know, most of America was built without oversight. Guess what? The fucking transcontinental railroad built without osha. Most of the skyscrapers built without osha. [00:51:22] Speaker B: Of course. [00:51:23] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:51:24] Speaker C: How many people died? [00:51:26] Speaker B: Not enough. [00:51:27] Speaker A: Not enough? Yeah. Like, let me see, how many people died building skyscrapers in New York in 2022, 24 construction workers died on the job. 20, 23. Seven construction workers died on the job. World Trade Center. 60 workers died during the original World Trade center in 1973. Empire State Building. You know, the really old tall one. Five. That's it. Five. So, yeah, to say that, you know. Oh, no, you know, OSHA's saving lives. Yeah. Seems like 20. Seems like, you know, almost five times. You know, the people fucking die under OSHA. [00:52:28] Speaker C: Yeah, under. I wonder how many people wouldn't die without osha. There'd be more people. [00:52:35] Speaker A: We have too many people, you know. [00:52:38] Speaker C: Like, I, I, that's also part of the point. There's so many people. [00:52:42] Speaker A: I, I've done the math, okay? If you were to cut the world population in half to 4.5 billion people, how many years in the past do you think that put us? Like, how far? Like 1600s, 15, hundreds, the years of Jesus, like, how far back? [00:53:04] Speaker C: There's probably a lot of people that died. [00:53:08] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, yeah, like, if I was. [00:53:10] Speaker C: You act like there wasn't. It's just been proportional and we live longer because we have better health care. [00:53:17] Speaker A: But if I was a Thanos, snap right now and, you know, kill half the population in the entire world, you know, how far back do you think that put us? I'll answer. 1970. [00:53:31] Speaker B: I kind of figured it'd be less than 100. [00:53:33] Speaker A: Yeah, 1970, it would fucking put us to the 1970s. From 19, in the last 50 years, we've doubled the population. [00:53:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:44] Speaker A: Let people die, you know, not everyone is necessary. Not everyone is. A unique special snowflake and it's like, okay, cool, the dumb idiots weed them out. [00:53:55] Speaker C: Then why don't you go kill yourself? [00:53:57] Speaker A: Because I'm not a dumb idiot. [00:53:59] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:54:00] Speaker A: But the. [00:54:01] Speaker C: You don't want to die either? [00:54:03] Speaker A: No, I don't want to die. But guess what? [00:54:05] Speaker C: If you don't want to die, if. [00:54:07] Speaker A: You'Re dumb, you know, like. Like all the fucking crackheads, go ahead and kill them all. Why not? You know, what are you losing? What are you losing by killing all the meth heads out there? The ones that are coming into your house and stealing the copper from your pipes? The ones that are stealing your car to go buy more meth? Like, what are you losing by killing these people? You know, what are you losing by killing the, you know, ones that are just, you know, wildly, you know, like, every pedophile just killed them. Like, you catch them, sir, you're convicted, and then you just take a gun to the back of their head and, like, goodbye, Lenny. And then, you know, shoot them immediately. Make it a public execution. Make every fucking pedophile, you know, a public execution. That way, fucking people would come out and make it like a Super bowl event. You have to buy tickets. You have to, like, pay $10 to come in and watch the public execution. We are going to kill pedophiles here today. We're going to chop their fucking heads off, Both of them. And it's like. Like having Like a little guillotine to chop their, you know, dick and balls off. Ah. And then, you know, you fucking lay them down as they're screaming, and then you chop off their heads. Like, I would pay money to go see that of a pedophile. Hell, yes. [00:55:29] Speaker B: Okay. We, as a species have done ourselves three disservices. A, we went from working walking on four limbs to two limbs, which is dreadful for our sp. B, we invented antibiotics, and then C, we invented vaccines. So, yeah, we literally have lost the ability to cull ourselves, and it's embarrassing. [00:55:50] Speaker A: So, yes. Oh, my God. Let's just, you know, go out. [00:55:54] Speaker B: Like, the medicine that advances the life of animals, I'm here for. But if you apply to humans, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? There are too many humans. There are not enough cats. [00:56:06] Speaker C: You guys are ridiculous. [00:56:08] Speaker B: I know, but isn't it fun? [00:56:14] Speaker C: Do you have any. Any. Am I the. Or anything? [00:56:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I do. Me. Oh, yeah. We. We blew by this one quickly. People are impersonating ICE agents, so make sure to, you know, watch out for them. If they look like crackheads, Each one of these people do. Don't get arrested by them. Beat their ass. And yes, ice is coming door to door. Just don't answer. You don't have to get a warrant. And apparently a Canadian candidate will not apologize for joking that polar bears could deal with the homeless. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Oh my God, that's amazing. [00:57:04] Speaker A: A candidate for leadership of Manitoba Progressive Conservatives as they won't apologize for making a joke about tackling homelessness by letting polar bears roam free in Winnipeg. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Don't let polar bears roam free. They live in the. They live on like icebergs and they. [00:57:19] Speaker A: Swim like way north. [00:57:21] Speaker B: They're not land. They're not land. Lubber bears. [00:57:25] Speaker A: Oh no. They can be on land. [00:57:27] Speaker B: I know they can, but they're. [00:57:28] Speaker A: They, they have caves that they like give birth. [00:57:30] Speaker B: I know, but grizzly bears are out there swimming 50 freaking kilometers from shore. [00:57:37] Speaker A: He said it's a joke. There's no apology. I'll probably say it again next week. I like this guy. Oh my gosh. Wally Doric is name W A L L Y D A U D R I C H I mean we don't live in Canada, so it doesn't matter. Now on to Am I the From I am gay. Deal with it. Am I the for treating my co worker differently after she accused me of sexual assault when I saved her life. I like how he's like, I saved her live. English is not his first language, so I'm gonna say it how he meant it. I'm a quiet guy and genuinely friendly. I treat all my co workers as friends. About two months ago during a work lunch, one of my co workers started choking. So I did the Heimlich thing to her. And after she's in the clear, others cheered and I asked if she's alright. She just nodded and head to the bathroom without a word. So I didn't think much about that until two days later I got called in the HR for my inappropriate behavior. I was confused and asked for more details. That's when they told me that my co worker had filed a complaint stating that she felt me touch my. That she felt my touch my. She felt my touch when I was helping her was inappropriate. My body was too close to her and she felt my private touching her. I gave my statement and they put me on ice. I was still working with potential to be removed while they investigate further. After a week I was in the clear. I returned to work normally without fear. But then I started distancing myself from the co worker. She tried to apologize, which I accepted and tried to explain that she had to tell me that she had trauma. But I still take precautions and only treat her just as a colleague. I no longer talk to her unless needed to. Always keep my distance and no longer invite her out unless they're with others. She can feel my hesitant towards her and that I no longer treat her the same as the others. She tried saying that I'm being ridiculous and petty. I told her I'm just looking after myself. So am I the asshole? [01:00:07] Speaker C: Nope. Fuck that bitch. [01:00:11] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [01:00:14] Speaker C: If anything, she's creating a hostile work environment. [01:00:22] Speaker B: God, what the fuck is her deal? Jesus Christ. [01:00:26] Speaker A: This is why you let people die. Like if you just sit there and be like, oh well, I didn't know the Heimlich. Tough. She died because she doesn't know how to chew food. You know, that's the breaks. Okay. You know, like I, I, I feel like this guy is like in America and just like from like another country. He said sorry about my English if there's errors. It's my third language, you know. Pretty good. [01:00:57] Speaker B: Whoa. Stats, you know. [01:01:01] Speaker A: Wow, this blew up. I'm not very active. Read several comments and DMs. Sorry, I can't read them all. Thanks for the support. I won't make any updates, but I have some clarifications. I'm not from or any English speaking countries. Me and my co workers did have a talk with our colleagues nearby. She agreed to limit necessary contact that related to work. I won't sue her because everything is resolved and to be honest, it just bring more problems while wasting money. I also received several DMS about similar experiences as me, which made me sad and relief that I'm not the only one. I also saw comments about how considering I don't understand her trauma, which is fair, if you're harassed for real, then you should protect yourself. But I just hope that she came to me about our uncomfortableness since we've known each other for a couple years. Yeah, I mean she could have trauma and it could bring everything back up. You know, just grabbing like the Heimlich is not like a, a soft, you know, I'll pat you on the back. It's grabbing her and just, you know. [01:02:13] Speaker B: It needs to be aggressive otherwise it's not going to work. [01:02:16] Speaker A: And you know, like, like trauma, it just, it will come up and just you know, kind of overwhelm. So like I, I see her, you know, part and dude, you're not an just, you know, I, I would suggest looking for another job, honestly, you know, because they're not gonna fire her. Obviously. They're not gonna fire you. But she has the ability now to, you know, if, you know, she's mad at you for any reason, she could, you know, bring that back up. And you saw how easily you know, can go south for you. Just start looking for another job and get the on out of there. Yeah, Tricky. Marsupial said you have to avoid her now. That's the answer. You weren't fired this time. She has power to get you fired. And you do not sacrifice yourself in the situation that will not solve anything and you only cause yourself harm. I'm also suggesting approaching HR about subsequent actions and complaints that OP has taken steps back to order to maintain a professional distance that she doesn't create a hostile environment or pest or harass OP Am I concerned that she doesn't get ahead of this, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not the you saved her life and she repaid you. Repaid you by filing a false sexual assault complaint that would have ruined your career and reputation. Her having trauma doesn't excuse potentially destroying someone else's life after they've helped her. So, yeah, I mean, if you, if you enjoy your company, stay there, you know, keep her at arm's length, like, hey, guess what, you up now? You know? Yeah. And you know, if someone else is like, hey, why don't you go talk to her? Yo, they're gonna learn the story too. So especially, you know, new people. So, you know, talk out, work it out before going and screaming to the hr. HR is not there to help you. They're there to help the company now. Relationship advice by throwaway. My husband, 34, male, changed his mind about his career plans after I, 28, female, signed a three year job contracts. Now he wants a divorce. I didn't actually read this one, so I, 28, female, honestly don't know what to do. My husband, 34, male, and I have been in a long distance marriage for two years now. I'm the one state studying and he's working in another. Neither of us could leave until now. I'm also on a visa, meaning I need a job that will sponsor me. My contract has to be at least three years long. He wants to apply for a highly competitive program that will last two to three years and there are only a few spots in the country. I completely understand how tough it is, which is why I've been asking him for almost a year to decide where he wants to apply so I can find a job near that location. After a lot of discussion, I got a great job offer in City. A But he didn't like it. So he agreed, finally agreed on SETI B and I signed a three year contract, visa, sponsorship and all. Now three days ago he actually, he tells me that he actually wants me to apply for the program in City A. This means we'll be in a long distance relationship for the next three years. That also means no possibility of having kids anytime soon because my job is demanding and I won't be raising them alone while he's in another city. I'm completely baffled and disappointed. I spent a year trying to plan together adjusting my career paths to stay with him, but now he's changing everything. Last minute we had a huge fight and now he says he wants a divorce because I'm not supportive enough and I'm too stressed and picking fights. I feel like I've done everything to compromise, to be a team player and now I'm just totally lost. Am I really being unsupportive or is this unfair as it feels? Yeah, he's a, you know, I, I love this first comment. Divorce sounds like it should be appealing to you. Dude is an ass. I, I feel like he was setting you up, you know, like op, like I, I feel like he wanted you to, you know, choose a location and you know, he wanted to, you know, set up some. That way you would want to, you know, get divorced. I feel like the relationship is done and he's just not man enough to tell you, sorry to say you don't have kids. Go out and enjoy your, you know, three year contract in City B and you know, focus on yourself, focus on your career. [01:07:49] Speaker B: Yeah, don't give it up, your career. [01:07:51] Speaker A: For a dude, love is dumb. You're 28, so you're still pretty young. You'll be 31 and maybe you'll find love in, you know, City B. You know, you don't, you don't have kids, you don't have anything, you know, going on. Move out there, get your job or, or find out, you know, whatever one you want to do. Like if you can go back to, you know, City A, but it seems like City B is like locked in and you know, you've already had your contract signed. So yeah, you know, it, I, I hate to say this, it's done. [01:08:33] Speaker C: Yep. [01:08:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I like this person. Try telling him great news, I can get out of my contract due to a loophole and move to City A. See what his reaction is. He'll probably say now I want to move to City Z. Lol. Yeah, dude did this purposely. He was never ready to Settle with you, or right now, divorce him and find someone that will go wherever you go. Maybe this will teach you to value your own goals and career path instead of being the first to compromise. Slash cave. He's picking fights because he doesn't want to be with you. Just let him go. Yep. I'm giving what he wants, you know? Does he even like you? Yeah, it seems like, you know, I. I was right on the money there. So. Sorry, Op. You know, find love with somebody else. Find love with yourself, you know, but that. That's it for this week. We'll be back next week with some more. Some more, you know, badly printed dicks. [01:09:44] Speaker B: I lost the game. [01:09:47] Speaker A: And I will post pictures of this badly printed dick on my Instagram. You can go see. [01:09:53] Speaker B: It's worth it. [01:09:54] Speaker A: See it on Alex Truck on Instagram. Follow me. You know, enjoy my horrible penis. You know, feel better about your horrible penis. This is like what I imagine, like termites do to a wooden dick. [01:10:09] Speaker B: Oh, my God. For some reason, I thought of the dick ch. The dick cheese. And I'm not okay. [01:10:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:10:16] Speaker C: Why did you have to mention that? [01:10:18] Speaker B: Because I thought about it and all y'all need to share in my misery. [01:10:22] Speaker A: I had no problem. You're the one trauma about that. [01:10:25] Speaker C: Yeah, but if it was vagina cheese, then it would be something different. [01:10:31] Speaker B: How is that better? [01:10:32] Speaker A: I'll put that on my toast. I don't even care. [01:10:35] Speaker B: No, if I had cheese coming out of my vagina, you would put it on toast. [01:10:39] Speaker A: Yeah, probably. [01:10:40] Speaker B: Like a pup hurt. [01:10:42] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. You'd be like that guy that got Thresh. [01:10:47] Speaker A: Yeah, and his girlfriend got it from her own as yeast. [01:10:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:51] Speaker A: But we'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. [01:10:55] Speaker C: Bye.