Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the human podcast. What is it, Mel?
Do you have to say hello?
You're like, oh, shit, he's. He's doing something. Yeah, let's come on in and, you know, say hello.
You are such a child, you know that?
[00:00:18] Speaker B: She's a cat.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: Yeah. So that's my cat, Mochi. I'm Alex. The truck. This is my wife, not the truck. And we got Courtney from across the land.
Yeah. And this is Mochi. Say hello, Mochi.
Oh, now you're gonna be quiet. Now you're just gonna sit here and purr. Okay, Purr. Then there.
I know. Okay, piss off.
I'm doing podcasting stuff.
Go.
Okay or lay. I don't care.
So this is a human podcast. All that bullshit.
Yeah. So last week, what did we do last?
[00:01:11] Speaker B: I have nothing to the gun thing. I have nothing to say on this subject.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: So we went to a. I was bamboozled.
I took my wife to the whole, you know, gun thing.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: I was not aware how political that shit was gonna be.
[00:01:27] Speaker A: It was very unpolitical.
You know, we just, you know, it was cringe. Was not cringe.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: It was so cringe.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: It was my people.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: And there was no crab.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Why would there be crab?
[00:01:41] Speaker B: Cause it was. Because it was.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: I invited you out to a dinner and all you had to do is just sit there. Now I. I bought like, the base level tickets to this thing. Base level, like, nothing crazy. Base level tickets. And right out the gate, they're just like, oh, yeah, we're gonna sit you right up front. Front and center, like the VIP tables. I'm like, oh.
And, you know, it was like $60 for a plate too, you know, to get into the event and to get a plate.
[00:02:18] Speaker B: And I'm like, plate was $60.
[00:02:20] Speaker A: $60.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: God. You overpaid for that.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: Well, I'm sitting here trying to support my fucking people.
These are my fucking people. Okay, Excuse me for, you know, supporting people that want to, you know, sue the government.
My anti government people.
So, Yeah, I spent 60 bucks to get in and they. They, like.
It was just like a bunch of speeches by a bunch of people that I actually knew, you know, because I'm local to the area. And so I've, like, met all these people. I'm like, oh, that's cool.
You know, except for the sheriff.
You know, I don't really deal with the sheriff too much because I don't get in trouble.
But they. They came out with a bunch of guns and they're like, hey, we're Auctioning off these guns.
So. And then they're like, we have this gun. And in my head, I know the price of each gun that they have.
You know, they'll be like, hey, here's a shotgun. Shotguns value is, like, you know, maybe a thousand bucks. It was, like, a nice shotgun.
And they're like, this shotgun's worth $3,000. And people are just bidding on it and got it, like, $4,500. I'm like, wow. They're gonna be very upset if they thought that. If they thought they were gonna get a deal, you know, on an auction. Like, usually that's how that goes, is you get a deal on an auction.
Oh, you know, but every single gun got, you know, over, you know, overvalued.
[00:04:05] Speaker C: Really?
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And so for, like, some of them that I knew were gonna, you know, go like, crazy. I, like, took the first bit. I'm like, yeah, right here. You know, I'll. I'll pay $3,000. And then it goes up, like, $8,000. I'm like, dang, I didn't get it. Snap. Oh, no.
And my wife is, like, bid on it. Bit. I'm like, no.
And then she, like, took my paddle and, like, wrote I love my wife on it, but what did with a heart? And I just turned the heart into a penis and left it.
But, like, after we got home, my wife was like, I don't ever want to do political stuff ever again.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: I did do not.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: I had a great time, though.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: People are weird.
[00:04:55] Speaker A: Well, she doesn't shoot guns at all. She doesn't. You know, it's the equivalent of making cats illegal.
Imagine if, like, they wanted to come in and, you know, take all your cats away. No one needs a cat.
If we didn't have any cats, you know, the rats would be able to survive, and the birds would be able to survive, and the birds can come back to Colorado, and the rats and birds would be everywhere.
[00:05:26] Speaker B: Okay, for all y' all who don't vaccinate your cat for rabies, if your cat bites somebody and you can't prove ahead of the rabies vaccine, the state will take it away and put it down. So for God's sake, just vaccinate your cat for rabies.
Really? Yeah.
What? Yep.
I mean, if you're never heard that. I mean, fucking rabies spreading around.
[00:05:51] Speaker A: How often do cats bite people?
[00:05:55] Speaker B: A lot, if you like.
[00:05:58] Speaker C: I wouldn't really even tell.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: Like, I've never had a cat bite me.
Even like, when I'm.
[00:06:04] Speaker C: I've had a cat bite Me, but I've never really gone to the hospital for it.
[00:06:08] Speaker A: Like, you know, Mochi, when she was young, I would annoy her and she'd like, put her teeth on me as, like a threat.
She'd go, ah. You know, like, you know, like, do like that little play bite.
And I'm like, you don't scare me. Go for it.
And she'd be like, oh, fuck, he's a God, I can't beat him.
And now she's, you know, behaved in her old age.
[00:06:35] Speaker B: I'm sorry. You're old, Momo.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: I think she's like five or something.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: Babe.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Huh?
[00:06:44] Speaker B: She's 11.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Are you 11?
[00:06:46] Speaker B: She's 11.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: Is it like, same for like, dog years? Like seven years. So she like 77?
[00:06:54] Speaker B: She's in her 60s, but yeah.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: Oh, no, don't. Don't get old, Mel. When you die, I'm gonna, like, cry for like a day and then go get another cat.
I mean, I go find. I'm going to go like, ask the universe for a cat and it's gonna be like, hey, here's like a little orange girl cat.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: You want a little orange girl kitty?
[00:07:23] Speaker A: No.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: They are like, you think, Momo Sassy. Wait till you get a little orange princess.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:07:36] Speaker A: I mean. All right, let's get into some stories. So speaking of, you know, crazy, you know, rabid animals, very mean. Squirrels seeking food has sent at least two people to the ER in a California city.
Only in California.
And there's literally a flyer out that says, attack squirrel beware. This is not a joke. More than five people have been attacked by a very mean squirrel over the past few days on Diet Diabolo, Diablo Circle and Mount Lawson.
[00:08:15] Speaker B: The AI got hacked.
[00:08:17] Speaker A: The AI got hacked.
[00:08:19] Speaker B: Yeah.
Squirrels aren't real.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: Squirrels are very real, but it's in San Francisco.
Residents of a San Francisco barrier area city are on the lookout for an aggressive squirrel. If you had guns, California, this could be taken out with a.22. Just boom, right between its eyes. You know, I enjoy like. Like this might make me like a weird, fucked up individual, but, like, there's this dude that, like, posts videos of him, like, shooting squirrels with his air gun and, like, kills them. And, like, their eyes pop out of their head and shit.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: How did you think they died?
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Well, no, like, he, like, shoots them, like, right between the eyes and, like, their eyes go. And like, they like, layover, like, immediately dead.
[00:09:08] Speaker B: That's an excellent shot.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, he's a great. But, like, he, like, sets up like a little trap for Them. And so like they're just sitting there eating like their last meal unbeknownst to them. And like, just boom.
They all have blue eyes.
But you know, this, this is California all the way.
Joan he Black told ABC affiliate they he she was walking to the city in Lucas Valley neighborhood of San Rafael when a squirrel seemingly came out of nowhere and attacked her leg. Clawing and biting.
It clamped onto my leg. The tire, the tail was flying up there. I was like, get it off me, get it off me.
Isabel Campoy said she was attacked in the same area. The squirrel launched itself off the ground to her face and wound up on her arm, leaving it bloody.
Both women went to the emergency room. Yeah, that's what you have to do to test for rabies.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: Precisely.
[00:10:11] Speaker A: Bare minimum. Flyers have been posted warning residents that the squirrel is no joke. And more than five people have been attacked by a very mean squirrel that comes out of nowhere.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Going to the ER for rabies exposure sucks because they. Because you get a ton of injections and they hurt like.
[00:10:31] Speaker A: See, this is why you do not, you know, feed wild animals. Don't feed chipmunks don't feed squirrels straight up. Because they become attached to humans and now they don't know how to, you know, fend for themselves.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: Taking them out of the fucking food chain.
[00:10:46] Speaker A: And so now they're going to, you know, think every human has food and they're going to get mad when you don't give them any.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: And so now that, you know, squirrel is starving, probably out of its mind because like the person that was feeding it is now like, you know, in jail. Probably a homeless guy who just feeding the squirrel every day. Yeah, don't do that.
You know, same thing with bears.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: What is the homeless dude feeding the squirrel?
[00:11:11] Speaker A: I don't know.
That's what I did.
I had a rat that I got from a pet store.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: Okay. Rats are different from squirrels.
[00:11:21] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I don't feed wild animals, but like I had a rat and I like fed a pound cake all the time.
Like fed it like water and pound cake and like seeds and shit.
[00:11:31] Speaker B: Are squirrels omnivores or are they vegetarian?
[00:11:35] Speaker A: That would be horrifying to see a squirrel eating meat.
But I guess this squirrel is a fucking omnivore. It's taking chunks out of these ladies arms.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: I wonder if human tastes good to animals.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: The good thing is squirrels are not vectors for rabies.
[00:11:51] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: She says people should never feed. Oh, they're not. I thought squirrels could get rabies.
[00:11:58] Speaker B: Nah, you're thinking of bats.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: I do not mess with bats at all. I see them all the time, and they're so very cute, and I love them, but I leave them the fuck alone.
[00:12:10] Speaker B: That's all you gotta do.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: They're little sky puppies, and I love their little faces, and I'm like, oh, so very adorable, but you might have rabies, and I don't want to die that way.
And so I'm like, I'll leave you the fuck alone. If you attack me, I will kill you.
[00:12:28] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, this is, you know, just how it is.
[00:12:35] Speaker C: It's so bad to die of rabies because, like, I saw a video once of, like, an Indian guy, and he'd.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: Got everyone seen the same. It's like they. I think, you know, he got rabies. And then they documented the entire thing.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: Because it was too late for him anyway. And so, like, we're gonna document this entire thing.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: Yep. Learn from it.
[00:12:56] Speaker A: And I mean, like, there's a lot of.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: There's a board of ethics for a reason. And sometimes it might seem weird, but it is the right decision.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: It was like unit, like 317 or something like that back in Japan.
I'm pretty sure that that's what it was like.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: If you're gonna fight something, you got to know how it kills your patient.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: Unit 3 17.
No, unit 731 is what it was. Yeah.
Unit 731 was the Manchu Detachment.
And it was a secret research facility operated between 1936 and 1945, where they just killed people.
[00:13:41] Speaker B: They're doing the good Lord's work.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: Well, they didn't, you know, just kill people. They killed people in different ways to see how it would affect them. And a lot of, you know, that knowledge.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, it's helpful.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it was helpful. Like, they had to, like, you know, do something.
But, yeah, they. They found out what happens when you take people from, like, high pressure to low pressure, all that shit.
But, yeah, I mean, like, they only killed, like, 14,000 people inside the facility.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: Not enough.
[00:14:15] Speaker A: I mean, that's all they were doing.
But, yeah, they. They had their war crimes and all kinds of. It was awful.
But, yeah, a bunch of them were granted immunity and for. In exchange for their research data.
[00:14:29] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Yeah. So it, like, if. If you want, like, a really disturbing read. Yeah. Unit 731.
To just go in, you know, actually, like, learn about it. It's fucked up, but, yeah. Next story.
More shrimp sold at Kroger stores recalled for possible radioactive contamination.
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Oh. So it's just. It's not just Walmart now.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: Well, it's all the poor stores that get the radioactive shrimp.
[00:15:04] Speaker B: Well, of course.
[00:15:07] Speaker A: A Seattle seafood distributor has recalled more cooked and fresh frozen shrimp sold at Kroger grocery stores across the US because of an ongoing concern about potential radioactive contamination. It's not actual radioactive. It's like, maybe, but it's a lot easier to say, hey, there's radioactive contamination. And then if someone's like, hey, your fucking shrimp was radioactive and gave me an extra dick, you know, then like, yeah, we told you about that.
We warned you.
[00:15:39] Speaker B: I feel like if you're giving an extra dick, you shouldn't complain.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: No, yeah, like, can I get like a third dick?
Like, if men had two penises, like, would it be better or worse?
[00:15:56] Speaker B: I feel it could be better, like.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: If I just had like two. Like one on top of the other. Just like, boop, boop.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: You know, I was imagining side to side, but yeah.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Yeah, just like, have like two little. Like.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: How many balls do you have still?
[00:16:10] Speaker A: Two.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:11] Speaker A: One ball for each stick.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Thank God.
Yeah, if it came with more balls, I'd have an issue.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I'll take double the dick, but same amount of balls. Like, I don't want double the weakness seems awful.
And like, there's like little cords hanging down that attach your balls.
And it's like, you know, what if those all get, you know, tangled up?
Turn into a little rat king in her ball sack. It sucks.
Testicular torsion is, like, not a great thing.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: No, it's not.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: I mean, I've never had it, but.
[00:16:43] Speaker C: Oh, God.
Yeah, I heard it's really bad.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: But let's see. Aqua Star Corp on Saturday recalled nearly 157,000 additional pounds of shrimp because of possible contamination with cesium 137. I don't think cesium 137 is that bad.
Now I. I feel like I've heard that on like Rick and Morty and I feel like it's like just a made up thing. Let's see.
Yeah.
What do you want, like a can or a bottle?
[00:17:21] Speaker B: I'll take a can, please.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Here's a can.
See how bad is. You know, it's far from nuclear weapon. Why are they testing nuclear weapons on shrimp?
[00:17:35] Speaker B: Because it's better than testing. Because it's better than testing on humans.
[00:17:38] Speaker A: Oh. It has such uses as cancer, radiation therapy, sterilization.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:43] Speaker A: Industrial gauges.
Oh. So yeah, if they ingest the contaminated food or water. Yep, that's a problem.
Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's bad. Like, how lethal is cesium 137?
Like, that's what I want to know.
External exposure to large amounts of cesium137 can cause burns, acute radiation sickness, and even death. Exposure to such large amounts could come from mishandling from strong industrial sources of cesium 137.
A nuclear detonator or major nuclear accident. So eating shrimp, you're going to be fine.
I mean, I get. Get your shrimp from Sam's Club. How about that? Just do that.
That's what I did.
Because they haven't recalled my Sam's Club shrimp.
Now if they do, I'm still gonna eat the fucking shrimp. I don't care.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Shrimp is shrimp.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: They say everything has radiation.
Your cell phone is giving you radiation in your head. The 5G towers are giving you radiation. There's radiation from the sun, there's radiation from the earth. Radio bananas are radioactive. Like, let's get real.
I mean, what is it Gonna take off? 7 minutes off your fucking lifespan in total.
Whereas, like, a.
A whole birthday cake. You know, like, sometimes, like, I'll get, like, little birthday cakes and eat the entire thing myself. I'm sure that takes, like a week off my life.
Ice cream cakes take two weeks. It's fine.
So let's see.
I. I want to know where the cesium came from.
Byproducts and nuclear reactions.
The risk appears to be small, but the shrimp could pose a potential health concern for people exposed to low level caesium 137s.
An Indonesian company doing business as BSM Foods, cesium 137 was detected in shipping containers.
None of the shrimp that triggered alerts or tested positive for cesium 137 was released for sale.
I mean, we have the FDA. I think we're gonna be fine.
Oh. So. The US officials have declined to respond to detailed questions from the Associated Press about the source or extent of the contamination.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: A lack of transparency is never a good thing.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: It's something stupid. I guarantee you someone did something dumb or something classified.
And. And now it's like, oh, we can't say. We. We will never be able to say.
And then no one will care.
Now, now, I saw this story and I. I loved it.
Just from the jump.
Two men arrested after fight over Netflix account escalates to gunfire now there's two pictures of, like, two fucking people. One is a dude that just looks like a normal dude. The other is like a dude, like a person without eyebrows.
Beaten the fuck up, like destroyed.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Yeah, like you did a good job.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: Like, like one person won the battle. Here, let me share this so Courtney can understand what the fuck I'm talking about.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: There you go.
Yeah, you got the two photos. One person's all up and then this guy is like doing really good and let's actually read the entire ass story.
Two men have been arrested over a flight, over a fight, over a Netflix account that ended with gunfire. Brian Travis Reynolds, 19, and Anthony Constantine, 19, Jesus Christ. Were taken into custody this week in connection with an incident outside a home on Calis Brinsno and Bexar County.
Jesus Christ. This is probably like some Texas right here. Yeah. San Antonio investigators said that the confrontation started Sept. 23 after Reynolds charged the name, changed the name on it, 20 year old Vincent Mundo's Netflix account on an to an insult.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: That's hilarious.
That's amazing.
[00:23:03] Speaker A: Reno's then agreed to fight Reynolds and Constein after feeling disrespected when the parish showed up. They jumped a fence to get to Munoz. Reynolds had a handgun in his waistband. Jesus Christ, kids, stop doing that.
Which he allegedly handed to Constantine during the fight. At one point, Constantine was seen on video striking, you know, as with repeatedly while holding the weapon.
[00:23:30] Speaker B: What was the weapon?
[00:23:31] Speaker A: A gun.
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Does it, you know, hitting him with like my. That's not how you thought.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: There was a bat.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: I'm like, that's not how you use a gun. The fight continued after the gun was passed back to Reynolds. A shot was fired during the struggle.
You know, was left bleeding from the head. Is still unclear if he was struck by a bullet or injured in another way.
Deputy has also noted that the gun had been modified with an illegal device known as a switch, which turns into a fully automatic weapon.
Reynolds and Constein were arrested. That is hilarious. Because that means the gun that they were using was a striker fired polyglock, which means that it is a polymer frame. It is a plastic gun. So that is the last gun on planet earth that I would use to beat somebody with.
I have metal guns to, you know, it's like just, if you're gonna do it, just shoot.
And I, I honestly hope that like the beat up guy was like one of the other people that, you know, came to like fight and like the dude that got insulted was like, I'll beat this guy up, but not this other guy.
He's like, oh, I want to know.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: What the insult was. I need tea.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: Oh, they're not going to say what the insult was, but probably like, you know, Something like, you know, something mean.
Probably like Bendo or something way meaner than that.
But, you know, this is why you Netflix and chill and not Netflix and fight.
Oh, man, that. That joke in my head was like way better.
[00:25:26] Speaker B: Yeah, way like you started and I was like, oh, this is going to be real good. And I'm sorry, babe, it wasn't.
[00:25:33] Speaker A: Oh, man, it's like, like when you, you know, it's like. Hey, hey, guys, guys, this is over Netflix. Oh, we need to chill. I don't want to have sex with you. It's like, what? No, no, we just need to like, you know, calm down. Jesus.
It's like, where does Jesus swear?
And I like that. How? Like this, like white guy, you know, I, I like, I guarantee you he's just, you know, that's like Brian Reynolds, you know, like, he has like a white name too, and Anthony Constantine.
[00:26:07] Speaker B: Like, probably Brian Reynolds.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: Brian Reynolds, the guy that got beat up. Oh, that's probably him.
I'm. I'm guessing. Anyway, you know, it like doesn't tell me who's who, but.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: Is that purposeful to like protect identities or some?
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Yeah, probably.
But yeah, they. They just passed the gun back and forth and like a shot went off.
But yeah, these two idiots are gonna go to jail for a long ass time now.
I mean, if it was in Colorado, they'd have been let already out, you know, because we have soft run crime out here.
So I picked this story because like the joke and like the joke fell flat.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: I'm so sorry, babe.
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Oh, man, it was.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's gonna be such a great joke.
[00:27:04] Speaker B: And it's like, no, you did your best.
[00:27:07] Speaker A: No, I, I didn't.
Next story.
Because it's almost time for spooky season.
Hershey wins lawsuit claiming Reese's Halloween candies aren't spooky enough.
You know, and now they're just gonna like start putting like razor blades in their fucking shit or something just to make it scarier, you know?
[00:27:29] Speaker B: That is the way to make it more spooky.
[00:27:32] Speaker A: Like every 10th recess now has a razor blade that will kill your kid. It's like, oh, fuck these terr. These terrify me.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: How do you accidentally eat a razor blade anyway? Aren't they like, long?
Yeah, like, wouldn't you like feel it when you started chewing?
[00:27:49] Speaker A: I'm pretty sure.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: How do they die from the razor blade? Like, do they die or does it.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: No, it just hurts them, but okay, I'm pretty sure it was like a whole fucking hoax myth.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: No, it was something small and then some. Karen turned it into that.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Let's see, where did the razor blade and candy myth come from?
Combination of media reports, isolated hoaxes, and growing societal fears in the 1960s and 70s.
The later.
So in 1970, a New York Times article hypothesized a reference to razor blades and apples, which prompted other media outlets and authorities to issue warnings.
Yeah, just isolated incidents and hoaxes. I'm sure, you know, it's not, you know, impossible to happen. I'm sure, like, a bunch of people were, like, keeping some dude, you know, up at night, and he's like, it, this year I'm just gonna put razor blades in this candy and no one will ever come back here again.
[00:29:04] Speaker B: So.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: But, you know, Hershey's received a treat Friday when a judge dismissed a lawsuit claiming that the company, Reese's Candy tricked customers by depicting spooky Halloween designs on their packaging, while the unwrapped chocolates were, in fact, featureless.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: I mean, I do feel like this is valid.
[00:29:28] Speaker A: U.S. district Judge Melissa Damien ruled Friday that consumers who filed the class action lawsuit failed to show the lack of what factionary details.
[00:29:43] Speaker B: Oh, that's on them.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: On the chocolate and peanut butter candies, such as missing mouse eyes and Jack o' Lantern. It's like, like, did you ever, like, go to the ice cream trucks and, like, get, like, the spongebobs or, like, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Like, fucking popsicles?
[00:30:01] Speaker B: I don't know that I've ever actually gone to an ice cream truck.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: Oh, man. Like.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: Like, I always, like, want to go when it comes to the neighborhood, but I'm always naked and I'm not going to get up and put on clothes and I never have cash on me, so.
[00:30:14] Speaker A: Well, maybe, maybe one of these days I'll, like, go out and get you one. That way you can experience, like, what it's like.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: I thought they sold drugs.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: I mean, maybe.
I don't. I don't think it's, like, out of the realm of possibility.
I mean, I don't know how to get that hookup, and I'm not gonna go up and like, yo, do you sell drugs inside your vehicle of, you know, chilled delights for children?
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Don't you? Like, no code words for, like, certain drugs.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: I'm no longer in that world.
[00:30:50] Speaker B: But surely it's like getting on a bike.
[00:30:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure I couldn't go back out and be like, yo, yo, yo, man, you got, you know, some of that fucking. Yay, yo.
And like, what we haven't called Cocaine. Yayo in forever. We just call it cocaine now.
It's fine.
[00:31:07] Speaker C: We so funny.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: We. We just, you know, there's no penalties for criminals anymore. We just call it cocaine.
I'm like, okay, do you have cocaine? No, I have ice cream.
You know, do you see my shitty truck? Do you see my shitty life? I'm like, all right, so do you have, like, meth? He's like, I, yeah, I got math. I'm like, okay, yeah.
It's like, do you want meth? I'm like, I don't.
Not no more. I'm a good boy now.
But, yeah, so, yeah, so all these fucking people were, like, bitching and complaining because, like, the pumpkin, you know, spooky season candies do not have faces on them, which is impossible to really get a face on them. If you want a face, carve it out.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: No, I feel like if they advertised it, it should have at least attempted to look like that.
[00:32:08] Speaker A: Well, in, like, I think Europe. I think, like, all throughout Europe or like Japan or one of those countries. Like, if it shows an image on the bag, it has to be actual size.
[00:32:19] Speaker C: Yeah. It has to match. Like, there's penalties if it doesn't.
[00:32:25] Speaker A: So, like, there's like, a bunch of times where people will, like, go buy a bag, rip it open, and, like, pull, like, an item out of the bag and, like, show that it's exact same size on the bag.
I'm like, that's cool.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: That is cool.
That's how it should be done.
I hate false advertisement.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: But I mean, like, at the same time, like, I look at this and I'm like, I. I look at, like, the pumpkin shape and I'm like, I get where you're going for, you know, like, then it just says pumpkins. It doesn't say Jack o Lanterns. If it said Jack O Lanterns, then that'd be one thing.
But, like, we got spooky Oreos.
[00:33:06] Speaker B: The regular orange Oreos, and they're the best tasting Oreos, which is perfect because I'm. I think I'm off ice cream, which means I'm ready to go back to Oreos. I can't wait. I can't be, like, on an ice cream chain and an Oreo train at the same time.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: What about, you know, ice cream or Oreo ice cream?
[00:33:23] Speaker B: I don't like Oreo ice cream.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Then you're a heathen. It's fine.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: No, the texture. The Oreos are different.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: So. But yeah, the judge is like, you know, sweet dude, and he's like, yeah, no, you're Dumb as dumb as.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: But I get where they're coming from.
[00:33:40] Speaker A: And I feel like all these. You know, hopefully the lawyer did it pro bono and just wasted a bunch of his time.
But it's like, if that lawyer would have won, it's like, all right, everyone here wins 70 cents.
And, like, everyone would be very upset.
It's like anytime you see, like, one of those class action lawsuits and like, oh, my gosh, did you buy class action?
[00:34:04] Speaker B: Mean?
[00:34:05] Speaker A: It means, like, there's a whole, like, bunch of people that are, you know, taking an action against one person. So it's like the.
[00:34:12] Speaker B: The class, like a group of people.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, like, imagine like a school classroom, like a class is, you know, back. I want to take action against this instead of doing it individually, one on one, one.
[00:34:25] Speaker B: I wonder why they chose that word.
[00:34:28] Speaker A: Group action. It doesn't matter.
[00:34:31] Speaker B: Group action makes more sense.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: But, yeah, so it's like, you know, a firm or a lawyer, you know, supporting, like, a group of people that have been wronged.
And, you know, it just works out better, you know, it's cheaper. It's like buying in bulk. It's like buying. You know, it's like a reverse buyer.
[00:34:58] Speaker B: Pitches in for the lawyer fees.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Sometimes the lawyer will do it pro bono, because if they win, you know, it's like a huge settlement. So if it's like a $200 million settlement and they're like, we're gonna do it pro bono, but we're gonna take 60%, you know, it's like, oh, cool. You just, you know, made like, over a hundred million for your firm just in this one case.
So why the fuck would you, like, you know, not take that? Yeah, take the hundred fucking million.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Well, I feel like, isn't it fun to be a lawyer, though? Like, shouldn't you, like.
[00:35:37] Speaker A: Oh, no, I've never met a happy lawyer.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Okay.
Like, to me, debate should be, like, a fun sport. And isn't, like, being a lawyer like.
[00:35:47] Speaker A: Being the ultimate debater, the master debater?
[00:35:52] Speaker B: That's different.
[00:35:56] Speaker A: I'm in here. Master debating mom.
[00:35:58] Speaker B: No, that's the masturbator who. Who baits for the fish.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: No, it's okay. She. She didn't see the episode. She doesn't know.
[00:36:08] Speaker B: But my point remains. A debate should be fun.
[00:36:10] Speaker A: It's not fun. It is a legal minefield that you have to tiptoe through and know a bunch of and shake the right hands and kiss the right asses. It all sucks, you know, and if, like, anything that has to do with anything court related, you Know, legal related, politic, you know, like the House, the Senate, it all sucks. It's all boring, dry.
And I hate politics and bureaucrats and all kinds of lawyer bullshits. Ah, they're the worst. They're boring, dry people that, you know, eat plain toast without butter.
[00:36:54] Speaker B: Okay. Sometimes toast without butter, it hits just right. Not every time, but sometimes just by itself.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: Like they consider like a hug a gift. Like, there, I gave my son a hug this year.
[00:37:07] Speaker C: Seriously. Yeah, but what culture is this again?
[00:37:11] Speaker A: Lawyers.
Now I'm going to get sued by a bunch of lawyers. Now they're going to be like, we're not like that.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: No, they're going to join together and they'll be the class experts.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, oh my God. I mean, if a lawyer is listening to this, what are you doing?
[00:37:31] Speaker B: Is there a name for a group of lawyers? Lawyers?
[00:37:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
A group of lawyers is called a nuisance.
I'm trying, okay? Yeah, I'm trying.
[00:37:51] Speaker B: That's why I gave you so much time.
[00:37:53] Speaker A: I, I didn't, you know, do comedy last Wednesday I went out to another one of my, you know, gun meetings.
[00:38:01] Speaker B: Oh, your gears are rusty.
[00:38:07] Speaker A: But now, now on, now on to the next story. Okay, it's fine. So there, there's this UK based, you know, anti oil group called Just Stop Oil.
And Just Stop Oil protesters are guilty of 21 pounds of criminal damage after pouring liquid on a Tesla robot.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: So Nigel Fleming, that, okay, that's a level of stupid. Let's continue.
[00:38:38] Speaker A: Like, I'm sure they had the money in their pocket right? Then they're like, we're gonna do this. And then they pull out a 20 and like throw it at their feet and they're off.
But Nigel Fleming and Catherine Nash, they're both 64 and 75, were given month long conditional discharge and were released with no further action. But will still get a criminal.
Hilarious.
But these are people that will come up and spray windows and glue themselves to the street and glue themselves to famous paintings and like that.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: And some of them, I don't understand what they, what's, what are they trying to accomplish?
[00:39:19] Speaker A: They're trying to stop people from using oil and polluting the planet.
[00:39:23] Speaker C: But like, they're just making more people hate them.
[00:39:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:26] Speaker C: Quite honestly, they're making it.
They're making people not care. They need to find other ways to deliver the message they do. Like doing it Like David Attenborough does during his stupid freaking documentaries that are so good.
[00:39:41] Speaker B: How dare you call them stupid.
[00:39:44] Speaker A: Courtney, they're good. They're like, I feel like, true, though.
[00:39:48] Speaker C: That's why he made them, because he. That's part of. He wants to do conservation.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:54] Speaker C: And throughout the whole freaking documentary, there's little. Little bits here and there.
[00:40:02] Speaker B: Well, yeah, you're. If you want to hide from it, you can.
[00:40:07] Speaker C: I know, because I'm a selfish.
[00:40:12] Speaker A: Oh, that. That's hilarious. So, you know, they. They. They caused, you know, they. They poured orange liquid latex over a mannequin Optimus robot, which had to be cleaned. I'm sure it just dried and they just, like, took it off and, like. Oh, cool.
[00:40:28] Speaker B: Did it peel off, like, a skin?
[00:40:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: No. What is it? Pull it up. I don't understand what this looks like.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: Oh, it's like liquid.
It's like that.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: So did it come in a jar? Does it harden?
[00:40:43] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it'll harden.
[00:40:46] Speaker B: What's it made of again?
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Like, plastic, but if you heat it up, it's like, imagine candle wax.
Like, imagine they just poured, like, orange.
[00:40:55] Speaker B: You literally describe precisely what it was. Repeat it.
[00:40:58] Speaker A: Like candle wax.
Like, just like. You know, like, it's like a condom.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: I wonder what it smelled like.
[00:41:09] Speaker A: Like latex.
[00:41:12] Speaker B: I hate the smell of latex.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's it. And I'm sure, like, it fucking, you know, cooled off really quick because the robot, and it's made of metal, and it's probably cool in there, and then just, like, peeled it off and, like, turn into a little hat.
You get it. Like, just drawn, like, a little smiley face on his face and be like, oh, cool, now he looks cooler.
[00:41:30] Speaker B: Like, defacing property is not the way to protest. I'm sorry.
I don't know who needs to hear it, but it's not the way to do it.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: What I find funny is Teslas don't actually, you know, use that much oil.
They use lithium. And the mines are, you know, awful for, you know, the planet, but that's a whole different thing.
[00:41:48] Speaker B: I mean, which one's better or which one? Like, we got a picker, a poison. Which one does lesser damage, does less damage, does less damage.
[00:41:57] Speaker A: You know, I like. I appreciate when people, you know, like, hey, you know, I. I wish everyone would, you know, live the way that I live, but I'm gonna live the way that I want everyone to live. And, you know, hopefully my example, you know, changes people.
It's like. But, like, vegetarians are a great example of this.
It's like, hey, I'm gonna be a vegetarian.
And, you know, the only way you'll ever find out a vegetarian is a vegetarian, is if you're having a meal with them and like, oh, you don't want a hamburger? Oh, I'm a vegetarian.
That's it. Oh, okay. It's like, yeah, I'm just gonna have, like, a bean, you know, a bean patty instead, and everything's good.
[00:42:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, when I go over to other people's houses and there's nothing I think I can eat, I'm still gonna put, like, a little bit on my plate, move it around to make it look like I did eat something, because I don't want to be rude. Like, there's just a lot of foods I can't eat. And I don't expect that person to, like, be like, oh, I can't eat this. You should have known secretly some moment, if there's nothing for me to eat, I'm still going to make it look like I ate, because that's the way to be polite.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: But at the same time, you know, vegans will let you know.
You know, you'll be like, working out in the gym, hey, did you know I'm a vegan?
You know, it's like, what? I'm a vegan. Like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Like, they tell everyone at all times, like, you're cooking steak in your backyard. I'm a vegan. I can't even smell the steak. I'm gonna. It's like.
[00:43:35] Speaker B: Like, precisely. I don't want to, like, shove in everyone's face and be like, oh, you need to meet my expectations.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I enjoy it. Like, when, you know, people, you know, live the way that they wish everyone would live, but just do it quietly and maybe, you know, they can, you know, convince somebody. It's like, oh, let me give that a try.
[00:43:54] Speaker C: Amazon, stop.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: Like, one time. Oh, sorry, Courtney. Did I speak over?
[00:44:00] Speaker C: No, go ahead. I was just saying sorry because my. I made my Amazon a cuckoo clock.
[00:44:06] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:44:06] Speaker C: So every hour it'll start chiming, ding, ding, ding.
How many times? It'll ding. Eight times.
[00:44:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
That's obnoxious.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Now she's enjoying it.
[00:44:20] Speaker A: So.
[00:44:20] Speaker B: I know.
[00:44:22] Speaker A: But, yeah, I mean, like, that this is not the way to, you know, cause change.
But, yeah, I mean, they only did $20 of damage, and now I know that Tesla has robots. I even know they had robots. Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that Tesla has robots. I want a robot and I want to give it guns.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: You think Tesla just makes cars and that's it?
[00:44:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, open AI or, you know, XAI or whatever does, you know, Twitter and the, you know, Grok and all that.
You Know Start. Start Link or Starlink I think does like the Internet and then SpaceX does the rockets. They're separate companies.
That way if one company gets, you know, sued, it's not the entire company getting sued. You know, he.
[00:45:11] Speaker B: It's broken up.
[00:45:11] Speaker A: It's broken up. So it's like you can only, you know, come after this.
You can only come after this.
[00:45:17] Speaker B: Sounds like pirate based strategy.
[00:45:19] Speaker A: It's a great strategy. I mean, I have no problem with it.
So I mean, I'm sure it's like a fucking, you know, new thing. But yeah, they're gonna get fucking criminal records and, you know, fucking feel like dumbasses.
But up to the next story, like my favorite fucking, you know, Vandal penis man.
He does multiple graffiti pop up tags in the Phoenix area.
You know, compared to the dude that did penises in potholes to make them.
[00:45:51] Speaker B: Fill them in like, that's true.
[00:45:53] Speaker A: Robin Hood, that, that guy was great. But he's been tagging the Valley with an infamous phrase that has gained national attention. Back in 2020, someone is writing penis man on various buildings around the Phoenix. Phoenix metro area. And rather large version of the phallic phrase was spotted in an Arizona family reporter by an Arizona family reporter on the Interstate 10 eastbound.
And yeah, just people going through or this one dude going through and just writing penis man on like big walls or electrical boxes. And that's all it says.
[00:46:31] Speaker B: I mean, and this is funny as.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: It's fucking bit. I love it.
[00:46:36] Speaker A: No arrests have been made, but online commenters are wondering who could be behind the very public penile penmanship. I love that.
[00:46:45] Speaker B: That person deserves a raise.
[00:46:47] Speaker A: No way. We think this is one person. It's like the dude that tip taped a fish to an ATM and then a bunch of people tape fishes to ATMs.
[00:46:55] Speaker B: Wait, what, like a live fish?
[00:46:58] Speaker A: No, a dead fish.
[00:47:00] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:47:01] Speaker A: Like sometimes like they, you know, get a store bought fish or, you know, caught fish or whatever, you know, it'd be dead and then they would just like take duct tape and tape it to like the screen of an ATM and like, it just went wild for a bit and then it just, you know, went away. But yeah, men are immature as fuck and we find this hilarious. This is great.
Good job, penis man.
You're doing, you know, the world a favor.
[00:47:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: But you know the dude that drew penises and potholes, I think you're better.
[00:47:35] Speaker B: Oh my God. Absolute tits.
Like, nah, I wouldn't put out for him, but like absolute tits.
[00:47:47] Speaker A: And so. And that's some Good news. Huntington's disease successfully treated for the first time.
The only, you know, reference I have to Huntington's disease is a show house.
And, like, the chick, her name was, like, 13 or something like that?
Yep.
[00:48:10] Speaker C: She had hunting.
[00:48:11] Speaker A: She had hunting disease. Yeah.
[00:48:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:48:14] Speaker A: Disease runs through families relentlessly kills brain cells, and it resembles a combination of dementia and Parkinson's and motor neuron disease.
That seems awful.
It just, like, fucking destroys your brain until you die.
[00:48:30] Speaker B: My neurologist, like, I make her test me for Huntington's, like, every, like, six months. I'm so terrified of Huntington's.
[00:48:38] Speaker A: The first symptoms of Huntington's.
[00:48:40] Speaker C: Isn't it genetic?
[00:48:43] Speaker A: Probably appears within your 30s and 40s and is normally fatal within two decades.
Opening that possibility earlier treatment can prevent symptoms from ever emerging.
We had never in our wildest dreams.
[00:48:59] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a genetic disorder. You should just.
[00:49:04] Speaker A: Well, I don't think my mom has it because she's, you know, in her 50s. I think so.
Yeah. I think I'm good.
I think I don't have hunting disease. Huntington's disease.
[00:49:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Does either your mom or dad's family have a history?
[00:49:24] Speaker B: No.
[00:49:25] Speaker C: Yeah, your parents would have, like, your family would have to have a history of it.
[00:49:30] Speaker A: Well, like, I've never, like, met my biological dad, but, you know.
You know, he. He was an. So that's where I get that from.
[00:49:40] Speaker C: Well, I mean, Alex is. Alex is the one that's concerned about.
[00:49:43] Speaker A: It, and so she's fine.
[00:49:46] Speaker C: Yeah. You can just do a genetic test. Testing for it. How is she doing? Testing every six months or something.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: Probably doing, like, little finger drums because.
[00:49:55] Speaker B: I keep doing the DNA testing. Courtney, I'm so sorry. I need to feel better sometimes.
[00:50:01] Speaker C: Alex, the DNA testing is one and done. You're good to go.
[00:50:04] Speaker B: Courtney, you're not living in my body.
[00:50:08] Speaker C: I would search for other.
[00:50:11] Speaker A: Well, unfortunately, you know, RFK came out and, you know, gave a answer for autism.
[00:50:24] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:50:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. I. I have to. It's the funniest thing in the world.
[00:50:32] Speaker C: It's so weird. Like, my grandma's drawing it hook, line, and sinker. And, like, he's not a medical professional.
I looked it up and, like, the vaccine schedule that they were complaining about, it's been that way for a long time. I got all the same vaccines, and there's only, like, a couple that are added.
[00:50:57] Speaker A: Oh, it wasn't vaccines.
[00:50:58] Speaker C: Babies and toddlers are dying from it.
[00:51:01] Speaker A: It wasn't vaccines.
[00:51:03] Speaker C: No, I'm. But he's an anti vaxxer, too. It's from Fucking Tylenol. They're trying to say Tylenol causes it.
[00:51:09] Speaker A: Now I'm 100% behind vaccines. Do all the fucking vaccines in the world that you want to do. Now, if the vaccine is untested, maybe, you know, take a step back, you know, back. Do I want to do that? I don't think, you know, anybody should ever be forced to do a vaccine if they don't want to. If they want to get sick, that's their prerogative. If you don't want to wear a seatbelt, that's your prerogative.
[00:51:31] Speaker B: But, you know, there's a difference between you just dying because you didn't wear a seatbelt, between you infecting many people around you. Like, you're only gonna, you're just gonna die from not having a seatbelt. If you don't get vaccinated and you are contagious and spread it without you being symptomatic, that exposes everybody to be not driving with a seat belt. Well, I mean, you know, those are two different things.
[00:51:57] Speaker A: They should have gotten the vaccine if they were worried about it.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: People are stupid.
[00:52:04] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, so if you're not going to wear your own seat belt, I feel like it's your own responsibility to put on your own seat belt. Boom, click. Your own seat belt.
[00:52:11] Speaker B: I know, but just dying yourself or spreading the disease and killing multiple people.
[00:52:15] Speaker A: How are you going to kill people that have already been vaccinated?
[00:52:19] Speaker B: Yes, there are people who are already been vaccinated, but there are people who have not been vaccinated.
Okay. The ultimate point of vaccines is to eradicate it completely. If you vaccinate everybody and then are able to vaccinate all the children a second time, you completely take all of that out of the third generation and then no one needs a vaccine because it's completely eradicated. Like, that's, that's how vaccines work, long term. And as long as people refuse to get vaccinated or refuse to vaccinate children, we're never going to eradicate it to the point where you no longer need the vaccine because it no longer exists.
[00:52:58] Speaker A: You know what's great? Dead people don't spread fucking diseases.
[00:53:04] Speaker B: I'm not even going to touch that subject.
[00:53:07] Speaker C: Yeah, they do.
[00:53:08] Speaker B: Yep, yep.
[00:53:10] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, if you're like, you know, eating them and stuff like that. But it's like if they're buried six feet underground, you know, the six feet burial was like a thing to stop, like smells and stuff like that too.
[00:53:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:53:25] Speaker A: And to stop diseases because, like bacteria can't get through, like, six feet of dirt.
[00:53:31] Speaker B: How much longer?
[00:53:32] Speaker C: How. How long have we done the podcast for, guys?
[00:53:36] Speaker A: 53 minutes.
Yeah. This is the last story before. Am I the only.
[00:53:42] Speaker C: Okay, I can't wait.
[00:53:43] Speaker A: Go pee. Go pee or go poop or whatever. I don't care.
Just say, you know, fucking mute your, you know, mic so we don't hear poops.
[00:53:53] Speaker B: Oh, my God, babe.
[00:53:55] Speaker A: What?
[00:53:55] Speaker B: He triggered me.
[00:53:56] Speaker A: Okay, then you go pee and boo. It's okay. I'll fucking, you know, handle this shit.
So. President Donald Trump on Monday urged pregnant women to avoid acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol, citing a possible link to autism.
[00:54:16] Speaker C: And everyone's running with it. It's so annoying. My grandma was like, oh, people are doing it on purpose now.
It's like, it should be used for.
[00:54:27] Speaker B: What it's used for.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Well, what I.
[00:54:28] Speaker C: What I find kind of definitive evidence.
[00:54:31] Speaker A: Like, what I find.
[00:54:32] Speaker C: Tylenol is too commonplace. There is no way it. It wouldn't have already been linked or something, and there'd be way more cases.
[00:54:46] Speaker A: Well, what I find, absolutely.
[00:54:51] Speaker B: Did anybody miss me?
[00:54:52] Speaker A: No, you're fine.
Is there. There was a woman that took, like, overdosed on Tylenol, and it's like, on a ventilator, and she's gonna fucking die because she's like, you know, Tylenol doesn't cause autism. It's like, yeah, Tylenol will shut down.
[00:55:12] Speaker B: Your kidneys, though, if you take enough of it.
[00:55:14] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. It's like, one of the top, like, four pills that people kill themselves with.
[00:55:19] Speaker B: Bodies. It's really difficult for bodies to tolerate incense long term. Like, they're not nice to your body.
They help with pain signals. But then there's also a lot of stuff that.
That's not good and, like, for a long time.
Okay. So, like, I'm one of those women that, like, I refuse to take pain medication when I was on my period because even though I was in so much pain and I knew the Tylenol could help, it wasn't going to be worth all the other side effects it had on my body.
[00:55:49] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:55:49] Speaker B: And, like, sometimes it made the cramps even worse. So I did not take, like, anything for my cramps.
[00:55:56] Speaker C: You know, it sucks because they said sex was good for, like, it. And so I'd masturbate, but then it hurt so bad, guys. Yeah, I could see my stomach cramp and my muscles would twitch. It did not help sometimes.
[00:56:14] Speaker B: No. That's why we never. That's.
[00:56:15] Speaker C: Sorry, guys. T. Mine. Tmi.
[00:56:17] Speaker B: No, Courtney. We Rarely.
[00:56:19] Speaker C: Like, when I've. When I'm on my period. That's what I hate so much. Yeah. Because, like, I have pcos, so my testosterone is, like, higher, so I am horny.
[00:56:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:56:30] Speaker C: And I can't. Yeah, I just can't. No, it sucks.
[00:56:34] Speaker B: It sucks.
[00:56:35] Speaker C: And sometimes when I'm not even having it, I think it's okay to do it.
Nope, it's not okay to do it, guys.
[00:56:44] Speaker B: Honey, I'm sorry.
[00:56:46] Speaker C: I know, right?
[00:56:49] Speaker A: But. Yeah. Acetaminophen was first synthesized in 1878, and autism was first used in 1911.
[00:57:02] Speaker B: Wasn'T it first thought it was like, a type of schizophrenia.
[00:57:05] Speaker A: Yeah. It was a subset of schizophrenia. And it's not until 1943 that autism was recognized as a distinct condition.
[00:57:13] Speaker B: Oh, sorry, Mama.
[00:57:15] Speaker A: So I'm like, I mean, how about this? You can just.
Autism is what it is.
Autism is, like the next level of human de. Evolution.
[00:57:29] Speaker B: You mean evolution?
No, humans. Okay? So when there's a surplus of predators of the same species, they will start to radiate into niches.
And so, like, a subset of humans are going to be very specific in this skill. And that way they won't cause overpopulation with others, because now their own distinct thing, and they'll weigh themselves down, all of the kinds of cool stuff. And I think autism is a niche that's coming out because, like, a lot of people who are, like, good with animals are also in the veterinary field. Like, we're finding a niche.
Like, my niche is, like, I just have a really deep connection with animals. Cats specifically.
Honest to God, it sucks that I'm not a cat.
[00:58:15] Speaker A: Nope, you're not.
[00:58:16] Speaker B: Like, I should have been a cat. God damn it.
[00:58:21] Speaker A: So, I mean, like, I. I don't have autism, but, I mean, I do. I do know a lot about, you know, guns and trucks, you know, that. That's about it. Like, so, I mean, we'll. We'll. We'll really see what happens. But, you know, I feel like this is just, you know, such a ridiculous story, and people are like, I'm not distracted. Show me the Epstein files. And I'm like, oh, God.
I'm like, what are you gonna do when there's, like, a. Another world leader that has nukes on the Epstein files?
And he's like, okay, you know, you outed me as a pedophile. I'm just gonna nuke your country now.
Yeah. I mean, yeah, go ahead and release them in the world. Who cares? Now on to I. Am I the.
Am I the asshole for telling my Son telling my wife, my son did nothing wrong.
Let's get into the story. My son and his friends, 1112 years old, went to the dollar store. One of them has his own bank card, and they were trying to buy some chips. His card kept on getting declined because he was poor and didn't.
Because he didn't have anything in there. Oh, Jesus. I just. Dead on. Right. So the cashier told him to put a few baskets of his stuff away so they could.
And they could have the chips for free. My wife went crazy over this, telling him, it's basically stealing. Someone has to pay for those chips. And it was wildly inappropriate in 2025 for a kid to do some work at a dollar store and get some chips in return.
Now my son is crying in his room, and my wife is mad because I told her it was perfectly fine and I didn't agree with her viewpoint and back her up. I used to do the same thing at the local gas station 30 years ago. So am I being the ass here?
[01:00:16] Speaker B: Okay, I'm very confused. Can you read it again?
[01:00:18] Speaker A: Okay, so you know, the TLDR, you know, OP's son and his friends went into the dollar tree, you know, like, you know, just a regular dollar store, you know, dollars and cents, whatever fucking local dollar store you have.
And he tried to, like, get some, you know, stuff with his bank card. You know, like, one of his friends is like, hey, I have a bank card.
[01:00:43] Speaker B: So it's not him, it's a friend.
[01:00:45] Speaker A: It's his friend. Yes.
[01:00:46] Speaker B: Okay, continue.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: And so he's like, okay, I don't have any money. You know, thought he was gonna be cool and show his friends he can buy some stuff. Turns out his little friend is poor. And so, like, hey, if you can put away some of this stuff and help around the store, I'll give you some chips for free. A dollar worth of chips.
And they probably did like, the, you know, deal for all the kids there.
[01:01:08] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's a perfect solution.
[01:01:10] Speaker A: And it's just a bag of.
[01:01:11] Speaker B: Is that.
[01:01:12] Speaker A: It's a good solution? Yes, I agree.
I like it.
And so this is like, under the table. Under the table, yeah.
[01:01:20] Speaker B: Okay, continue.
[01:01:21] Speaker A: And so all these kids got a, you know, bag of chips, and they just, you know, pretty much write them off. It's fine. It doesn't matter.
[01:01:27] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's great.
[01:01:29] Speaker A: And, you know, if it was like, you know, fucking TVs or something and be, you know, different, but, you know, this. The clerk is like, okay, bag of chips, bag of chips. Bag of Chips. Bag of chips. And they all go home happy. And you know when they get home, mom is all pissed off and angry. Like, you stole because now you got these bags of chips for free and you're basically stealing.
And dad's like, no, he did some work, got a bag of chips, you know, suck my dick, I don't care.
And now mom's on pissy.
[01:02:04] Speaker C: Yeah, the mom's fucking stupid as fuck.
[01:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's perfect.
That's like. Okay, that's like an. Like, that's like, the nicest way to do it.
Like, seriously, this teaches them hard work. Like, this is like, a really valuable lesson for them. And they're out doing stuff. They're not sitting on the couch on their phones or playing video games and stuck. Like, they're out doing stuff and are doing physical stuff, which is really important this time and age where there are people, there are young children who are just glued. Glued to their phones, you know?
[01:02:36] Speaker A: Yep. I mean, so, yeah, I mean, everyone's saying the exact same thing. I'm not the asshole. Your wife is wildly overreacting.
[01:02:44] Speaker B: I wonder why she's so bothered.
[01:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah, not the. I'm a clerk at a local gas station. I've given away, you know, fountain sodas. If someone helps out, I'm either grabbing a heavy bag, I can't get out, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, you know, it's. It's fine.
[01:03:06] Speaker B: Like, I wonder why she's so upset now. I think about it, like, why?
[01:03:14] Speaker A: Probably like a hardcore capitalist. Like, no, you need to pay for everything with money.
She, like, owns the gas station or owns the dollar tree. It's like, that's my dollar tree stealing from.
She, like, now I have to pay that.
Yeah, she's so bothered, she can go in and give them a dollar.
It's fine.
Let's see. What time are we at?
We'll do the advice one because we're already over time.
Advice.
Co workers stealing my lunch. How to confront.
I keep a stash of homemade lunches in the office fridge. Think curry or pasta. I spent hours prepping, but someone has been swiping them, and it's been driving me nuts.
Last week, I labeled my container of spicy beef str. Of beef stir fry vanished. I saw my co worker munching on something suspiciously similar. I don't want to start drama at a small team, but this is the third time, and I'm fed up. How do I call them out without making the office vibe awkward? I'm not about babysitting my Food all day. Should I confront them directly, leave a passive aggressive note, or talk to my manager without sounding petty?
[01:04:35] Speaker B: Is this co worker stealing just her food or is he stealing everybody's food?
That's what I want to know.
Because it either. Because they're two different situations and I have feelings on both.
[01:04:48] Speaker A: I mean, here's what you do.
You. You fucking, you know, put something insanely spicy. You can go get capsaicin, you know, crystals online. They're pretty fucking cheap actually.
And mix it in with, you know, a little bit of broth and it turns, you know, the entire thing insanely fucking spicy, you know, or you can like put like a dye pack or, you know, some like a little trap in there that, you know, not deadly, but, you know, just like. Yep. You can spice it up and be like, oh, you know, and you'll notice when they get up from their desk and, you know, start running around back, oh, you decided to eat my lunch.
You know, that's my lunch. And then you can, you know, sit down and, you know, eat from the side that wasn't contaminated with the spice and say back, yeah, it's fine for me, but thanks, you ruined my lunch. And then, you know, they get fired like that. That's what should happen.
[01:05:45] Speaker B: It's like, how long has OP worked here? Do they say.
[01:05:47] Speaker A: No, it's. It's a small thing.
[01:05:51] Speaker B: Okay, so like, yes, my first thought would be to, like, put something suspicious in the food to, as a retaliation, to be like, hey, don't fuck with me again. However, in the end, I would get like some sort of like personal cool or something and have it with me at my spot.
[01:06:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:06:08] Speaker B: I mean, because I don't want to stir the pot if I don't have to. And clearly. And I feel like he's been stealing everyone's food and no one said anything about it, which means he is in a higher position than everybody and he is abusing it, in my opinion.
So, like, trying to do that isn't going to do it, Opie, any good in the long run because then that said person's probably going to be able to retaliate in an inappropriate way.
[01:06:36] Speaker A: No, like, if you steal somebody else's stuff and, you know, it's like, oh, it was too spicy for me. If you put something deadly in there, like if you put like bleach or a poison in there, yes, you're gonna get in so much trouble. Do not do that.
But if you spice that up, you know, put like a non smelling spice into it, you know, it's like, oh, yeah. And then just by boom, it just like explodes. Like. Oh, you know, or put like, you know, like oil based paint on like, you know, inside your bag or something. So like, you know, they get it all over their hands and it's like, you know, put like red based oil based paint, you know, when you first start. And so like, they reach in and they, they grab it and they're like.
And you can't get oil based paint off your hands very easy.
[01:07:23] Speaker B: That I like much better. As opposed to putting something in someone's.
[01:07:27] Speaker A: Food and it's like, boom.
[01:07:28] Speaker B: It's like now it's still putting poison in someone's food. And I don't think that's.
[01:07:33] Speaker A: No, putting spice in someone's food is not, you know, illegal, but like, you know, we had like these little drops like at my old job in North Dakota. And you know, we each got like little plastic spoons and one drop, you know, that's all we had. One drop per guy, you know, and it comes like in like a little, you know, you know, film canister that you open up and has gloves and all kinds of.
And doesn't smell at all because it's just pure spice and, you know, just pure spicy chemical.
And it just maxes that shit out and just.
And it hurts.
[01:08:10] Speaker B: But not physical pain. It's just a nerve ending.
[01:08:13] Speaker A: Oh, no, it. It fucking hurts. It hurt. You know, pooping.
You know, I had to like, drink water for a bit, but I, I hear just straight, straight down and that sounds awful.
[01:08:25] Speaker B: Why did you do that?
[01:08:26] Speaker A: Because everyone else did it.
[01:08:28] Speaker B: Oh. I mean, you are. You're not a little bitch. So.
[01:08:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, everyone had to. It was like, you know, do it or, you know, you're a bitch.
[01:08:38] Speaker B: Sounds like hazing.
[01:08:40] Speaker A: No, everyone did it. It wasn't just like, like, the boss did it. Everyone did it. Even the guy that brought it did it.
[01:08:49] Speaker B: Of course, the guy who brings it has to do it. What?
Yeah, so bring it. You fucking taste it too.
[01:08:56] Speaker A: You know, so it was, you know, Mugs, Big Horse, Baby Huey, Wild Bill, Mark, me, Khan was there.
There's like probably like 12 of us.
And like I saw like Mark like crying and like dry heaving. It was hilarious.
But yeah, I mean, like, you know, fight. Find, you know, some way you can, you know, go, you know, put a note up, you know, only take your lunch. You can like, you know, take it up level and if they continue to keep on doing it, you know, leave a little trap for them. Leave, you know, red, you know, oil based Paint in your bag. And so it's like, oh, you know, and yeah, you'll see their little fingertips all stained red. And it's like, why? Why are you touching other people's stuff?
You know? Why? Why?
You could have just left it the hell alone, you know, but you knew it wasn't yours.
And then boom, you know, it's like now you have, you know, physical evidence that's, you know, not permanent. You know, you can get oil based paint off you. Just takes a bit.
So, yeah, I mean, do that, you know, Don.
[01:10:08] Speaker B: So take it off.
No, interesting.
[01:10:14] Speaker C: Way.
[01:10:14] Speaker B: We were talking like acrylic.
[01:10:16] Speaker A: Oil based paint.
[01:10:17] Speaker B: Yeah, so like acrylic.
No, I thought acrylic was an oil.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: I mean, no, like, oil based paint is like, designed for, like, outside doors, outside rails, anything that's painted outside so it can, you know, stand up to the rain and all that.
[01:10:38] Speaker B: Oh, so we're not talking about like picture painting?
[01:10:40] Speaker A: No, we're talking about, like.
[01:10:42] Speaker B: Oh, that's what I thought we were talking about. Sorry.
[01:10:44] Speaker A: Yeah, so like, if you go to like, the hardware section, you'll find, you know, water based or latex based paint for inside and oil based for outside. Oil based takes a lot longer to dry, so it's like, do not touch this, otherwise it'll smudge and get on you and it's a fucking nightmare.
And you cannot get it out of your clothes. Like, once it's in your clothes.
[01:11:07] Speaker B: Supposed to be waterproof.
[01:11:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
Okay, so but we'll go ahead and end it there. I mean, you know, dude, find out, you know, something to do, take steps, write a note, go to hr, Set a trap. If he continues to do it, you know.
[01:11:23] Speaker B: Yeah, like, go through the right channels. Go through the right channels.
[01:11:27] Speaker A: First it's like, sorry, bud, you're, you know, you're gonna get fired. But like, if someone came to me and said, hey, bud, I'm at, you know, having a tough time. Can like, you know, I get some food or something, you know, and explain, you know, what. What's going on? Hey, I'm, you know, getting a divorce or something right now, and I'm just having a tough time, you know, and she's like, taking everything and all my money's tied up right now and times are tight, then, yeah, I'll fucking help you out, no problem.
But, you know, if you start stealing from me, Nah, all bets are off.
So ask for help first. If you're ever, you know, in this situation where you're like, I need help, I need food, I need this. I need that.
And. And then, you know. But if you go and start stealing. Yeah. Go yourself. We'll go ahead and end right there. I'm on Instagram. Alex. Truck. Whatever. Follow me. Don't. I don't care.
And we'll see you all again next week in spooky season. Bye.
[01:12:23] Speaker C: Bye.
[01:12:24] Speaker B: Bye.
