Pay For My Professionalism

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Alrighty. All righty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. Some people say I'm sick. I don't think so. [00:00:13] Speaker B: You have the vid. [00:00:14] Speaker A: I don't have the vid. I absolutely do not have. Do not fucking put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. [00:00:21] Speaker B: You don't know until you test. I've learned this the hard way. [00:00:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Guess what? If I never test, I don't have the vid. Guess what? That's how that works. [00:00:30] Speaker B: That's not how that works. That's how some things works. Yes. But unfortunately, not immunity. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Guess what? I don't have AIDS because I've never tested. [00:00:37] Speaker B: No. Oh, my gosh, you're so funny. Like an episode in house where the chick is, like, testing herself for Huntington's. It's. Or some shit. And it has to do with her dead mom. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just 13. [00:00:54] Speaker B: She ended up having it. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Oh, no. She knew she had it. It's a degenerative disease that fucking gets worse and worse. And she was, like, marching forward to her death, but she wouldn't be able to do shit. And then one of the other doctors is like, we have maybe a cure for you, but I can't tell you if you got the real drug or the placebo. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Oh, this is the black dude, right? Yeah. [00:01:25] Speaker A: He was an idiot foreman, because he was running another thing. Yeah, I watched all of house. I love House. Oh, it's so good. With all of its medical science behind it. [00:01:45] Speaker B: They literally make up words that do not exist. [00:01:48] Speaker A: I hope they don't. I hope they're all real words. And I trust them. I like house. And I'll say this because his unprofessionalism, okay, he gets shit done, but he's not that professional. Today, I'll put this out there. Today I had a meeting at work. I had to go into work for a stupid ass meeting. Dumb bullshit. I hate it. And pretty much the only takeaway of the entire fucking meeting was, we have to be more professional. We can't swear we can't do any of this shit. Obviously, I swear. I don't give a fuck. But I get my job done. Every single day, I get my job done. All my customers are super duper happy, but it was just someone showing up unexpected, snitching and fucking throwing up a fit up. People that are swearing, go fuck yourself. If you're a corporate fuckhead, go fuck yourself if you want to pay for professionalism. My rate is 150,000. That's how much you have to pay me for me. Not to swear. If you want the deluxe package where I trim up my beard and I get a haircut all the time, that's a quarter million. So that's what you can pay. [00:03:28] Speaker B: They even brought up appearances. [00:03:30] Speaker A: No. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:32] Speaker A: They can't. It's damn near impossible. Because what if your appearance is based on religion and they're like, we don't like your long hair? It's like, dude, I'm Sikh. I wear a turban. It's like. And then you just sue the everliving shit out of them. There's been companies that have just been taken down by that. It's like, yeah, we're firing you because you're Muslim and you have to pray five times a day. And then they just go and be like, all right, yeah, here's your lawsuit. This guy now owns the entire company. [00:04:11] Speaker B: Is a turban a hat? [00:04:14] Speaker A: No, it's headwear. It's religious headwear. [00:04:17] Speaker B: But it's a hat. [00:04:19] Speaker A: It's not a hat. [00:04:20] Speaker B: Like, it's a fancy dress hat. No, not by the definition. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Not even by the definition, no. [00:04:28] Speaker B: Okay. Is a headband a hat? No, it's not. [00:04:37] Speaker A: Yeah, like a sweatband. That is true, but no, it is religious headwear. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Are visors headwear, or are they eyewear? Their headwear? [00:04:55] Speaker A: But yeah, the amount of things that they go through to make sure people don't see their hair, it's like, I respect it. If you have your religion, fine, have your religion. I'm not going to clown you on having your religion unless your religion is something stupid like Christianity. They don't clown the shit out of you. I believe in Jesus. Okay, dude, if you're just out here to make the world a better place, cool, do that. But if you want a pat on the back because you believe in a fucking man in the sky, go fuck yourself. This is what I see all the time. People go to church, and then they self congratulate and pat each other on the backs, like, oh, good job. You're a good member of church. You're a good person, and it's just a fucking dopamine hit to go to Church and get fucking recognized by other people, and it's an addiction. [00:06:10] Speaker B: So one of my doctors, she's Christian, and you wouldn't fucking know it unless you point blanked aster hit. I didn't fucking know she was Christian until I had been there for, like, a year and a half. I was like, oh, shit. And so I respect that a lot. [00:06:26] Speaker A: I respect the fucking people that go out of their way to help people and don't have to put it on YouTube. They don't have to be like, I need recognition. It's like, okay, cool. You helped out a homeless guy. Nice. Good. You're not out here. Hey, everyone clap for me because I helped this guy out. I'm the hero. It says hero complex. It's just going around. Knock it off. If you want to be a good person, be a good person. [00:07:01] Speaker B: My old boss, Amy, she told me to my face I had that, and I was like, what the fuck does. [00:07:07] Speaker A: That even mean, a hero complex? You always have to be the hero. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:17] Speaker A: And I can see it a little bit. And you're like, I have to save these kitties. I'm the one that saves kitties. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Oh, I suppose so. [00:07:25] Speaker A: Then, yeah, hero complex is fine, but don't pretend like you're better than someone else because you have a hero complex or because you're like, I believe know. Jesus Christ. Dumb. But, yeah, I mean, pay for professionalism. That's the main thing I want to get through is you sit here at a corporate building making a quarter million dollars a year into your pocket, and then you're like, why aren't these people that are making $17 an hour being as professional as I am? We don't give a shit at all. We get our job done. We go home. Go fuck yourself. If I was to buy a car for $1,000 and expect to get a maserati, I'd be fucking tripping. Do you want a beer? [00:08:25] Speaker B: Oh, no, I'm just moving this to the table so I can't knock it over. [00:08:27] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, you wouldn't push all this stuff, so, yeah, you get what you pay for. On all sincerity. I'm not trying to be a dick or nothing. You get what you pay for. So my company pays me a certain amount of money. They pay me 70,000 a year. They get a foul mouth. Dude that fucking gets his job done. It's like, if you want to try and hire somebody new to go do the job, go for it. But I told my boss to his face, I'm like, I'm polishing off my resume. [00:09:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I keep telling you. Why? Did you get written up for being for? [00:09:15] Speaker A: No, but I am foul mouthed. Fuck. And there's just no way that I'm going to last at a fucking company that's going to go christian based. [00:09:27] Speaker B: Are they going christian? [00:09:28] Speaker A: I don't know. They're just like, we want it more professional. I'm like, then pay us more. That's what I'm going to just bring up to my boss, like, the next time I say, I'm like, all right, here's a fucking list of demands I have. Since you have demands of not swearing. That wasn't a thing when I first signed up. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Is it like in your fucking contract now? [00:09:56] Speaker A: No, I haven't signed shit for it. [00:09:59] Speaker B: Oh, but it's in the employee handbook. [00:10:01] Speaker A: I don't care. I'm going to be like, hey, well. [00:10:03] Speaker B: No, the employee handbook. Like, it has to be the one that he agreed to and signed. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Yeah, there was nothing about language. There's just like, don't be racist and shit. I started there years and years and years ago. So I think they're just trying to push out the old and in with the new. And it's like you're about to crumble your entire fucking company. You're about to fucking kick it out at the knees. And then when all your workforce doesn't want to work because you're like, hey, you can't have fun and you have to fucking abide by professional standards of people that get paid fucking stupid amounts of money, then, yeah, go fuck yourself. And then this is where the fucking poor eat the rich. We just all become homeless pieces of shit. Fucking live in your houses and tear down your mansions. Pull out the nails that hold up everything you own. [00:10:55] Speaker B: Why are words taboo? [00:11:00] Speaker A: Because people love to bitch and complain and pretend like their life's fucking hard here in America. It's not. But if they really want to make it hard, we can make it fucking hard. We can fucking come to their house with bats and fucking bashing their fucking knees and be like, hey, guess what? Now you can't walk. Now you have to walk. You have to be in a wheelchair rest of your life. Don't do that. But I can make it to where you do not give a fuck. If people are swearing. And I've seen this numerous fucking times, it's like, you're an adult. If you want to be a child, go fucking take a gun to your head and kill yourself because you are now an adult. Welcome to the adult world. This is the shit that pisses me off. Like, I was in a hospital with Ben. Ben was fucking dying in a hospital in the Er. We were in the Er. I was in the room with him. He had some fucked up shit going on with him and he was being very polite and he probably said something like, fuck or shit, just like, I'm passing. And then the doctor came in and gave him a ten minute reprimand. For swearing at the nurses. Get the fuck out of corporate. Get the fuck out of the workforce. Go fucking die in the ocean. If you're going to be this fucking person. This is the shit that gets me pissed the fuck off. If you're going to be a namby pamby goody two shoes motherfucker, go kill yourself. This is the shit that's going to get me canceled. I don't give a fuck. I'm sick and goddamn tired of people complaining over fucking useless shit that does not fucking matter. [00:12:46] Speaker B: So I'm agreeing with you. But if I'm agreeing with you, why do I still feel like it's polite not to cuss in front of my clients? [00:12:54] Speaker A: Because you were in a professional environment. I go to fucking mechanics and tire shops and people covered in grease and filth and all kinds of shit and deliver them tires. I'm a truck driver. I drive a truck 100,000 miles a year. And if they're like, you need to be more professional. Go fuck yourself. If they're sitting there complaining, if they're like. [00:13:26] Speaker B: It'S not like you're fucking sales or some shit. [00:13:28] Speaker A: It's like, shut up, faggot. I don't care. Like, like, this is why the 90s were such a great fucking time. Because no one gave a shit, not a single person. And now this new generation of kids that were grown up on fucking peaceful parenting and all this Dumb bullshit are fucking coming into the workforce and complaining. They're like, this guy said the S word. It's like, go fuck yourself. Honestly, you're going to isolate yourself and then fucking ostracize yourself. And then the second you try and do something cool to get some friends, everyone's going to snitch on you immediately, and you're going to lose your fucking job. Why doesn't anyone like me? It's like, because you're a little snitchy bitch and you should get the fucking shit beaten out of you. Never ever fucking snitch. And this is why America is going to fucking go to hell. This is what it is. It starts off with this bullshit, and then it's like, well, we don't like that kind of language. And we don't like that kind of language. Oh, we don't like you fucking talking bad about the president. We don't like this or that while fucking rich billionaires are raping children. Are you kidding me? Complain about something that actually goddamn matters. Complain about the rent being too high. Complain about fucking loan rates being 29% a year. Complain about the things that are really holding you back in life. Me saying fuck isn't holding you back in life. And if that is what is holding you back in life, just go ahead and give up on life. I'm not being a dick here, but you're done. You are the weakest fucking link. Goodbye. Or go ahead and go make a commune somewhere. Go make a commune and see how well that does and be like, we are a peaceful community of people and we don't swear over here, namaste to everybody and just go live in obscurity. And you're like, fuck, dookie, I would like some nice stuff. Guess what? That's for tough dudes. This is why Trump is going to win 2024. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Please don't remind me. [00:16:19] Speaker A: Is because there's so many weak people out there that have nothing going on except complaining and bitching and whining that the strong are going to win. Anarchy rules a day. My God. Yeah, that was just a fucking tangent. Holy shit. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:16:50] Speaker A: If you want to pay me to not swear and do all this shit, yeah, I'll do it. A problem? If you want to pay me to wear a suit and tie, yeah, I'll do it. But you have to pay me a lot, and your billions are going to easily evaporate. So either you get to have your billions or your employees get to swear. You get to choose. It's a Venn diagram where you have to be like, how much do I want to pay them? Nothing. Okay. You get nothing. [00:17:29] Speaker B: I quickly realized that cussing was going to help me communicate better in a social setting than not cussing, and therefore I went straight to it. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah, most of the people, when I see managers that are managing these shops, they're mostly army dudes. People that are in the army, big beards, they don't give a fuck, but they get straight to the point. [00:18:01] Speaker B: How a manager should be. [00:18:02] Speaker A: Yeah, get straight to the point. No. Oh, I'm going to do some peaceful managing. Maybe you can work on this and get better. No. Get the fuck better or get the fuck out. That's why those always win. The Roman Empire, the United States. We are that type. The people that are at the top. Fucking win or get the fuck out. Look at any billionaire. Fucking win or get the fuck out. [00:18:33] Speaker B: Good captain runs a tight crew. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Yeah, you look at a captain of a ship, they're not like, well, maybe you couldn't try and work on your rowing skill. No, like, okay, chop off your fucking head. You're a useless person. Die. I don't feel bad for you, okay? [00:18:59] Speaker B: So there's this melodrama, like, below deck where they're following this person who runs. She's like the captain or she's the standing captain, and it's really fucking. Obviously, it's, like, dramaticized. But I wasn't expecting to see the dynamic I was. Where literally each person was above the person below. But captain was. She didn't fuck around. She ran it like they were her crew members. She didn't run it like they were employees. It was a completely different dynamic. And it was really cool to see it took me a while to understand it, but afterwards it was even cooler. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, even, like, one piece. Like, Luffy is nice, but he also fights, and he knows how to fucking get shit. You know? If you're a boss that knows how to do what I'm doing, cool. But most bosses have no idea. There's not a single person in corporate that is above me that can do my job. Zero of them can do my job. So it's like, go fuck yourself. If you think I'm so easy to replace, go ahead and replace me. Goodbye. And they're like, oh, no, that just cost us, like, $8.6 million. Holy shit. Maybe we shouldn't have pissed that guy off because it's like, yeah, I'll just go to a competing company, get the shit done for them, and like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, fucking, we're going to go to this company now. And hell, yeah, Alex is over here. Now. He gets it. Like, I kind of want to just run a company. That way I can just hire people and fire people. And managers have this thing in their head where they hire someone and they want to make it work. They try so hard to make it work if they hire them, because if they fire them, they have to admit that they were wrong in hiring this person. It's like, managers understand that sometimes you will be wrong in hiring someone. On paper, they look good. In practice, not so much. Go ahead and fire them in the first three months. And sorry, bud, you didn't work out here. I went to the oil field. If you were one of these people, we'd fire you immediately leave, and then you're trying to afford rent, and it's like you're blackballed in the entire goddamn community. Because we call each other and we all know each other. You're blackballed everywhere. Oh, we're not hiring? We're not hiring. Fuck you, we're not hiring. And now you are on the hook for $3,000 of rent every month. That you don't have. And now you're freezing to death in North Dakota. We don't care. Like, I see a homeless person, I'm like, good, be homeless. Yeah, I'm done with my rant. I know I get on a rant and I just fucking go forever. But onto some news. So from my home city, a Texas man allegedly gets from Colorado Springs to Denver in 20 minutes. Now he has an arrest warrant. [00:22:28] Speaker B: Oh, this was the video you were showing me? [00:22:30] Speaker A: Yeah, he was doing like, 150 miles an hour. Rendon DMs, a 32 year old dude from Justin, Texas, goes by Jixer Bra on YouTube, and he post motorcycle footage. And he got from Colorado Springs to Denver in 20 minutes as a 32 year oldish dude that also has a motorcycle. Good for this guy. Good for him. He didn't die. And Colorado State patrol is like, he put hundreds of lives in jeopardy. By what? Riding a bike in between the cars? If he had hit a car, they would have been like, oh, what was that? And then there'd be a bloodstain on the back of their car, and they'd just like, take a hose to it. That'd be it. That would be the end of it. Yeah. I mean, he was just know. But illegal and reckless driving will not be tolerated. It's always tolerated in Colorado. No one gives a shit. Go ahead and do whatever the fuck you want. The amount of fucking reckless goddamn drivers I see on a daily basis out here in Colorado would blow your mind. I just need to put my dash cam back in my truck so I can just start recording people and just put that shit up on YouTube. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Yeah, why not? This isn't doing it because he was stupid. [00:24:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Never fucking put your own, you know? Colorado State Trooper Sergeant Troy Kessler said in a statement, we care too much for those traveling on our roadways to ignore the blatant disregard for the safety of others. Honestly, it wouldn't be anything if he hit anybody. It'd be a meat crayon and a motorcycle flying. That would not do that much damage. And trust me, I've seen what happens when a motorcycle goes full force into the back of a truck. Nothing. So, yeah, I don't think this guy is going to get arrested. I don't think anyone's going to really give too much of a shit. They got him for speeding, reckless endangerment. That's about it. Good for this guy. I love it. I understand it. If you cannot do that, don't, because you're going to end up as a me cram. I'm not going to cry when this dude is dead on the streets, when they're like, rest in peace, Jixer, bro. I'm like, good. Fucking idiot died. What did you expect? All right. And now there is a new food thing going on. South korean health officials urge against eating fried toothpicks now. Yeah, I had that same thought when I first saw it. I'm like, how are you guys this dumb? [00:26:06] Speaker B: We are never going to escape the effects of the let. [00:26:10] Speaker A: Turns out they have starch toothpicks, which are just dyed green, and so they are fully biodegradable. [00:26:21] Speaker B: Okay. [00:26:21] Speaker A: They're still stupid, but they trend, these toothpicks. Let me share my screen with Courtney so she can see. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Let's see. I want to assume biodegradable does not equate with digestible. [00:26:38] Speaker A: Well, it's just starch. [00:26:43] Speaker B: Again. [00:26:45] Speaker A: So I look at that and I'm like, that looks pretty fucking fire. Not going to lie. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Looks like the puffed up veggie sticks. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And so they just deep fry them and fucking put some shit on them. But they're saying starch toothbricks are not an edible product. Their safety as food has not been verified, which means it might be an edible product. [00:27:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't see. Why wouldn't we? What the fuck did I just read? [00:27:20] Speaker A: Deep fried toothpick fries are not the first hazardous food to trend on social media. Food and Drug Administration 2022 warned people not to cook their chicken in Nyquil. [00:27:38] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:27:39] Speaker A: People were cooking their chicken in Nyquil? [00:27:42] Speaker B: What? [00:27:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God. We need to kill stupid people. [00:27:48] Speaker A: Exactly. That's a whole rant. And then Procter and gamble urged customers not to eat tide pods back in 2018. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Wait, that started that long ago? [00:28:01] Speaker A: That long ago? Yes. [00:28:03] Speaker B: I thought it was started in 2022. What the fuck? [00:28:06] Speaker A: Yeah. 2018? Yes. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:28:11] Speaker A: So I'm not even mad at it. Let it fucking happen. Ah. And then now on over to California, because California. I don't know how you fuck this up. Woman thought to be missing was stuck for 15 hours overnight upon a gondola at heavenly ski resort. Monica. Lasso. Lasso. It's not two s, it's just one s. Lasso was on a skiing trip with her friends, and so her friends knew she was there. They're like, where's she at? And they just fucking went home and, like, fucked dudes, I guess. So she doesn't have great friends. They just left her there. She was on a planned skiing trip with her friends to heavenly ski resort, which is okay as a ski resort, and she was going down the mountain, and she was like, I'm tired. And then she gets on the fucking gondola to take it back down, and then it just shuts off. And so she's just up there. She didn't have her phone, didn't have a light, and she's trying to shout at the workers who fucking ignored her. [00:29:55] Speaker B: Was she. [00:29:56] Speaker A: It's pretty high up. It's high enough to where you do not want to jump. It's, like, above tree level. [00:30:07] Speaker B: That is terrifying. [00:30:10] Speaker A: There's a whole horror movie about it. [00:30:12] Speaker B: Was it, like, one was, like, the open underneath, or does it have at least, like, a full flooring? [00:30:18] Speaker A: No, it's open underneath. [00:30:20] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's even worse. [00:30:21] Speaker A: Your little leggies are dangling. [00:30:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:30:26] Speaker A: But, yeah, her friends reported her missing to the El Dorado county sheriff's office, who are useless, by the way. Where did you last year? Oh, over at heavenly. Maybe we should check heavenly. [00:30:43] Speaker B: Wait, Tahoe's included in El Dorado county? [00:30:47] Speaker A: I'm sure her friends just went home. They're like, I don't want to look for this bitch. Okay, fuck her. [00:30:57] Speaker B: Wow. [00:31:02] Speaker A: But, yeah, I don't even feel bad. This is just a stupid person. [00:31:05] Speaker B: I could not have held my pee that long. [00:31:07] Speaker A: I'm sure she pissed, like, all over the gondola. I'd have been flashing my titties. I'm like, look, Teddies. Teddies. Come save me for teddies. I'll let you dodge my titties. And then all the men from, like, 100 miles around, like, save a woman for teddies? Hell, yes. Fedoras start tipping Madam Madame, and then she gets saved. But no, she's just like, I'm sure she was like, I don't want to be rude. And so she's like, I was screaming, and she's like, hey, can I get some help? He's gone. That's probably what she did. It had only been better if she froze to death. One less californian. She's from El Dorado Hills. Like, what do you expect? Folsom area. Fuck her. Now, another woman, opposite story. A California woman who fatally stabbed her boyfriend more than a hundred times, which is a feat, by the way. Stabbing something a hundred times. She's either OCD or really fucking mad at this dude. He deserved it. During what prosecutors called a cannabis induced psychosis, has been spared prison time. The decision drew sobs of relief from the woman and a rebuke from the victim's father. Jesus Christ. Brynn Spincher, a 32 year old woman my age, was sentenced two years to two years. Sentenced Tuesday to two years of probation. Last month, she was convicted in the 2018 fatal stabbing of Chad. Okay. Yeah, just a dude named Chad. She's been dating this dude for several weeks. Smoked some fucking weed and stabbed him 100 times. No, this dude fucking cheated on her. So instead of getting over it, whatever. I knew him. Only knew him a couple of weeks. Stabbed him 100 times. It's like, the weed made me do it. [00:33:54] Speaker B: And Jerry bought it. [00:33:55] Speaker A: Yeah, they're dumb. Californians are dumb. I don't even have to read the rest of the story. She took a bunch of bong rips, and she had an adverse reaction to the weed and suffered from what experts called a cannabis induced psychotic disorder. [00:34:17] Speaker B: No, it's actually made someone go crazy once. I guess they got schizophrenia. [00:34:24] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, in reefer madness. [00:34:30] Speaker B: No, they did cannabis, and they're seriously still in a mental hospital. Like, they had no prior issues with mental health before. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Did they have a family history of mental health? [00:34:45] Speaker B: No. [00:34:46] Speaker A: And did they have fucking PCP introduced into the fucking. [00:34:54] Speaker B: So I think they would have tested them. [00:34:57] Speaker A: No, you can't test for that. It's like testing for LSt. It's, like, really fucking hard. Whatever. But the fact that millions and millions of people do it and they do not go into psychosis. And then this one woman's like, I stabbed him. I just had to. Yeah, fuck her. But she gets away with it because Californians are stupid. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Okay, so her conviction is involuntary manslaughter. I didn't know those two words could go together to make a sentence. Yeah, there's all these secret words in lawyer talk. Like, it's crazy. [00:35:36] Speaker A: Yeah. If the actions you do end up killing someone, it's manslaughter. Now, if you have a motive or desire to do it, it's murder. And I'm not a lawyer, and I'm not your lawyer, but if, like, say you forget to put your parking brake on, get out of your car and your passengers, has that ever happened to you? No. [00:36:09] Speaker B: What? [00:36:09] Speaker A: But say you forget to put your parking brake on and you get out of your car to go take a piss, and the car rolls forward and goes off a mountain and kills your passenger, you can probably get away with it. And involuntary vehicular manslaughter code words are cool. Yep, they are. But here is some lawyer shit that I do love. A Missouri rule would allow senators to challenge each other to a duel. A pistol duel. Oh, my God. It's like just a single page. [00:36:51] Speaker B: What state is this? [00:36:52] Speaker A: Missouri. [00:36:53] Speaker B: Okay. For a second, I thought it was our Kansas. [00:36:55] Speaker A: Might as well be the same thing. But Senator Nick Schrore. I don't know, S-C-H-R-O-E-R. Schwarr put a motion to the state senate to adopt a rule change that would allow politicians to settle grievance through physicality. So he has, like, this little tiny fucking page that he actually fucking introduced. If a senator's honor is punged by another senator to the point that it's beyond repair, in order. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Two senators shall agree to the terms of the duel, including the choice of weapons, which shall be witnessed and enforced by their respective seconds. The duel shall take place in the well of the senate at the hour of high noon. And just dumb shit to get this guy on the news. [00:37:57] Speaker B: No, this has to be a joke. There's no way someone would be that stupid. [00:38:01] Speaker A: No, he really did. [00:38:02] Speaker B: It's got to be just for pulling a leg. [00:38:05] Speaker A: I'm sure it is. It fucking got me talking about it on a podcast. And honestly, I hope it goes through. I hope senators are now allowed to kill each other in Missouri. Sir, you have besmirched the name of my wife. I command you to keep my wife's name out of your goddang mouth. We shall settle this with pistols at high noon in Missouri. [00:38:36] Speaker B: I thought you did those at dawn. [00:38:38] Speaker A: High noon, 12:00 lunchtime. That way, after you're done killing a guy, you can go get lunch. [00:38:49] Speaker B: Cool. [00:38:49] Speaker A: I killed this senator. Let's go get Jimmy John's. I know, it's awesome. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Is there Jimmy John's there? Yeah. [00:38:59] Speaker A: Here? Yeah, I worked there. [00:39:06] Speaker B: For some reason. I thought you were talking about being out of state or something. Or living in a certain state. [00:39:12] Speaker A: Yeah. No, like going to fucking Missouri and fucking being a senator. It only apply to senators. But speaking of more murders, a New York man convicted of murdering was convicted of murdering a woman who wound up on his back country driveway after a wrong turn. So apparently, like, this group of people were just driving and get lost in the backcountry, which sucks. And it does happen. Of New York, Fort Edward, New York. And so these people drove up into his driveway, and so he comes out and fucking shoots this chick in the head with a shotgun. And she was only the passenger too. Her boyfriend was driving, which makes you feel guilty as shit. But I'm like, ah, God damn. [00:40:21] Speaker B: Well, it also depends on what side of the house the car was when it pulled up. [00:40:26] Speaker A: I mean, it was a 20 year old girl named Caitlin Gillis. [00:40:29] Speaker B: Well, if the dude came out running from the right side of. On the right side of the house to the car, he would have been on the boyfriend's side. But if he ran from the left side of the house to left side of the car, the girlfriend would have been first in his sights. The demographics is not explained well. [00:40:46] Speaker A: I mean, the dude, it took less than an hour. Kevin Monahan, a 66 year old dude, just fucking. Her and her friends fucking just pulled up in the driveway near the Vermont border. And I'm pretty sure guns are, like, wildly illegal in fucking New York too. And then, yeah, he's trying to tamper with the evidence. So, yeah, they're like, yeah, you're just going to go to jail for the rest of your fucking life. You just lost everything. I understand if they're threatening you and if someone's sitting outside the front of your house, but it's like, if someone just drives up and be like, oh, shit, wrong house. And then you just come out and start shooting, fuck this guy. It's 25 to life, and it's going to just be the rest of his life. Yeah, he tried to fucking say a bunch of dumb things, like, they're menacing me and all this. And it's like, yeah, you're just a fucking old, crockety old man that was like, oh, hell yeah. Now is my fucking chance to. What if they just fucking open up fire in your ass? What if you had, like, your wife inside the house and now she's dead because you wanted to fucking go gung ho? People have to get deep into my house to get shot. Yeah, I'm in, like, the last room. So if you're in this room, you're getting shot. But on a good news, New York plans to wipe out $2 billion in medical debt for 500,000 residents, which is like, 1% of residents, which is like, the 1%. Yeah. Eric Adams is like, I'm going to wipe out $2 billion of debt. You don't have to pay it. You just let it go to collections, and then it disappears after seven years, I think. [00:43:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:07] Speaker A: For middle and working class New Yorkers, medical bills can be financially devastating. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. [00:43:14] Speaker B: But also, when we bought the house, my medical debt was not held against us. [00:43:17] Speaker A: No. [00:43:18] Speaker B: So it was kind of like, oh, so it doesn't even matter there. [00:43:24] Speaker A: So, yeah, you don't have to just let it go to collections and then settle for way less. Yes. It's going to fucking hurt your credit. I understand that. But if you go let it hit collections, pay 10% of it, and then it's like, oh, shit, I had a $10,000 debt. It's like, hey, I'll pay you $1,000. It's like, oh, okay, yeah, we'll take that. It's like, I need a letter saying it's going to get written off when I pay you $1,000 and I'll pay you $100 a month, then, boom, the entire debt is fucking dissolved for 10% of it. I mean, I'm not a fucking lawyer. Also, what you can do is if you have a collection company harassing you, you can just be like, hey, can I get the original documents with my signature on them? You have 30 days. And then if they can't produce it, they just have to write it off. So try that one first. Now onto Florida. I was just moving across the country, and I thought it'd start with Colorado. Florida bill would make it defamation to accuse someone of racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. I know a bill introduced into the Florida Senate would make it illegal to do all that bullshit under SB 1780. Under these circumstances, people wouldn't have to prove actual malice, which is a standard set of defamation suits, which would be like any fucking politician. Like, when someone's know fucking Ron DeSantis is sexist and racist, you'd be like, oh, that's defamation. Here's your lawsuit. And just start handing him out like candy. Like, lawsuit for you. Lawsuit for you. Thank you. I am now the president in the United States because Florida just fucking paid for it. So I'm like, this seems pretty fun. Seems like a whole bag of worms that they're going to open up over there. But I'm excited to see what happens. And for the other fun Florida story, a Florida woman who has been in jail since 2022 is pregnant, prompting an investigation. I'll tell you what happened. A man went in there, fucked the shit out of her, knocked her up. But Daisy link, 28 years old, called her family on Christmas day to say she was almost four months pregnant. Yeah, they're like, I was at a loss for words. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Blah, blah, blah. They're concerned for Daisy and her safety. She's being held at the Turner Guildford night Correctional center in Miami Dade county on a charge of second degree murder. God damn, she's a bad bitch. One of the guards fucked the shit out of her. It was consensual. I don't know why they didn't use a condom. Use a fucking condom every time you're going to do some illegal felony shit that's on that guy. Oh, what? [00:47:29] Speaker B: So she shot her fucking husband when he was, like, being abusive to her because she was trying to protect herself? [00:47:36] Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, she. She was in jail for a reason. Either a good reason or a bad reason. Doesn't matter. She's a bad bitch. She has tattoos, but they do not know who fucked the shit out of this woman. So now they have to launch a fucking internal interview and be like, okay, I don't know how to say this, guys. Dna testing. Wait for the baby to be born back. Hey, every dude with a penis, you. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Can test it before it's born. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Can you? [00:48:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:20] Speaker A: How? [00:48:21] Speaker B: I don't fucking know, but I know it's done. You can do it, I'm assuming, with a big ass needle, but I could. Yeah. [00:48:27] Speaker A: That seems just, like, dangerous. Like, women's bellies are, like, fucking big old bloated things and watching, like, a whale. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Yeah, that's why most people do. Wait, is that how my body looks to you? Don't. [00:48:39] Speaker A: A big old whale. If you're pregnant, yeah. Have you seen a whale getting cut open? It's great. It's my favorite thing. [00:48:48] Speaker B: So if I was pregnant, you would tell me to my face, I'd look like a whale? [00:48:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Burst. I would be like, you look like a whale. [00:49:04] Speaker B: Ooh. [00:49:09] Speaker A: But, yeah, she thinks it's one of the correctional officers, and I do, too, because I don't think it's her fucking ex husband. He's dead, but, yeah, I mean, be fucking dope. Some dude loses his job, he's definitely going to lose his fucking job. [00:49:32] Speaker B: I would hope so. [00:49:36] Speaker A: This is not the first time this has ever happened. [00:49:38] Speaker B: No, of course not. [00:49:38] Speaker A: It happens quite a bit. [00:49:39] Speaker B: Yeah. It's disgusting. [00:49:40] Speaker A: Fucking no. Fucking. These women are in there horny as shit and like, hey, garden, you want to get some of this? You want to get in these guts? And they're like, shit, fuck. I do. I do want to fuck you. Oh, my God, she's hot. And then they fucking get in them guts. Hell, yeah. Good for them. But now we are on to the point of the am I the assholes and relationship advice. This one is a long one, so buckle up by upstairs. Mayday. Am I the asshole for kicking my brother and his family out after they tried to give me a horror vention? It's like an intervention for whores. I'm having a hard time feeling remorseful, and I'm unwilling to apologize for calling my brother out and asking him to vacate my property. I have given him many chances to stop this behavior. And my brother won't stop shaming me for having been a stripper before I got my prestigious jobs. These are literally his words. I'm a nurse. That word. Anesthetist. [00:51:05] Speaker B: I also can't say that word. [00:51:07] Speaker A: Thank you. He has been what? [00:51:11] Speaker B: Anesthetist. [00:51:12] Speaker A: You said it wrong, too. [00:51:14] Speaker B: Now she might be saying it right. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Anesthesist. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Anesthesist? [00:51:22] Speaker A: Fucking seizure, anesthesist. Something like that. [00:51:28] Speaker B: Whatever. Let's go. [00:51:30] Speaker A: He has been making offhand remarks about me having been mochi. Can you not do that? Can you not? Mochi, my cat is like stepping all over my mouth. Fucking cat. Okay, go somewhere else. He's been making offhand remarks about me being a stripper since he found out six years ago. And he gets on these long tirades about how I'm ungodly, unholy, and the sins I've committed. They can never be forgiven unless I repent and let Christ into my heart. I'm not religious. I'm certainly not a christian and will never be one. But my brother refuses to accept this. Also, I only started stripping because of his drug and gambling addiction. Ruined mine and our parents lives. He remortgaged our house, took out loans and several credit cards in our parents names, and even sold our parents identity to his former dealer. I didn't know how bad the situation was until I came home one day from university and found strangers living in our house. My father was too embarrassed to let me know they are living out of their car. They also never reported my brother to the police because my parents didn't want him back in prison. Last time he went in for two years and my parents were blackmailed to pay his prison debts. So when I found out my parents, baby sister and baby brother were living out of their car, I decided to work as a stripper. I made good money, and with that money, I was able to house my family, pay off my parents debts, my brother's debt, and put my younger brothers through college and university. God damn, this woman's hot. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Fucking props. [00:53:16] Speaker A: Hell yeah. Tits. Paying for college. During that time, I was also able to pay for his rehab and he got his shit together. Now he's happily married, employed, sober, with a child on the way. FYi, I paid for his wife's IVF treatment. [00:53:31] Speaker B: Holy shit. [00:53:34] Speaker A: Last Sunday, our parents invited some people over for a big catered dinner. My brother and his wife thought this would be the perfect time to turn it into what he called a horror vention and embarrassed me in front of all the guests. I completely lost him. I was so enraged, I spent most of the evening cussing him and my sister in law out. I reminded them that I would have never been a strippler if he hadn't tried to ruin us. On Monday, I drew up an eviction notice and sent it to him. I wanted to cut all ties with him and his family. I am truly done with them. Almost everyone tell me I am right in being angry, but it's terrible to kick him and his wife out when they're due to have their first child in nine weeks. My parents are begging me to forgive them, but honestly, I feel like I have been reasonable. I've given them 90 days. I'm done being called the whore of Babylon and the downfall of mankind. Apologies for the length, but I thought I needed you all to know as much as possible. I feel like I am losing my mind. I just had to repost this because the moderators locked it down for breaking the rules. I've edited it and reposted it for judgment. Thanks, edit for clarity. I stripped for five years and used the money to claw myself and my family out of debt and pay for my brother's rehab. I haven't stripped in over a decade. I paid for my sister in law's IVF and bought the house my brother and his wife live in with my nurse and aesthetic money because she making bank, which is why I don't feel bad about asking, which is why he doesn't feel about asking me to help, because this mother wasn't made from sinning. Also, my sister in law is just as bad as he is. All right, chica, you are a saint. You fucking went and did this, and I don't know. Strippers are bad people. They're great people. And I knew one. She was a bad person. Not because she was a stripper, but because of other reasons, not, like, drug related. She was just kind of a cunt. Sorry, Courtney. But now she's gotten her shit together, and I'm like, you should still strip. [00:56:06] Speaker B: She does. [00:56:07] Speaker A: Does she? [00:56:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:08] Speaker A: Good for her. [00:56:10] Speaker B: Yes. [00:56:15] Speaker A: I don't see it as a bad thing. Yeah, whatever. Go do porn. Go do whatever makes the fucking money. But your brother rehab fucking injects a lot of that religious bullshit into people. And people that go through drugs are usually really religious, and they're like. I call them my higher power and all that dumb bullshit, and it's like, good for you. Don't start judging other people, you stupid fucking worthless meth head. Now. You don't have a fucking place to live because your sister just paid for everything, and now you just lost it all because you wanted to fucking bite the hand that feeds. So, yeah, you are completely in the right. And giving them 90 days is overly generous. Fucking give them 30 days. Get the fuck out. Go find your own goddamn place that wasn't built on sinner money. Cut them out. God, I hate fucking hypocrites. Now onto relationship advice by open shoe tie. I, female, 20, pressed my boyfriend, male, 22, on a question, and now I regret it. Chica. So my boyfriend, 22, and I, 20, have been together about eight months. We are in a long distance relationship. So when I was visiting, I asked if there's any fantasies in the bedroom. He said he had none, but I kept pressing because I wanted to make him happy. You know how it is. So he said he wished I was skinnier ever since we first did the deed so that he can pick me up and stuff. Now, I'm not skinny. I'm what people call mid sized. And before we met, I was very transparent with him about the way I looked. I'm pretty insecure about my weight, which he knows. So I started crying and he apologized profusely. And he also started crying. He said he didn't mean it like that, and he's just projecting his insecurities onto me because he wished he was stronger. And his thai mom said I was fat, and it bothered him as well. I even lost 5. You're british piece of shit. So I was feeling happy about myself, but that comment really ruined it. So I'm not sure what to think. He has always been complimenting on me, on how pretty I am. Everything but the compliments he gives me don't feel genuine anymore. I'm spiraling and was really just a communication Tldr. Boyfriend said he wished I was skinny so he can lift me up in the bedroom. Okay. [00:59:29] Speaker B: Fucking prick. [00:59:31] Speaker A: No, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. When he said nothing, you should have left it there. [00:59:38] Speaker B: If he wants to pick her up, they can get a sex swing. It's more comfortable for both parties. [00:59:48] Speaker A: I mean, like, you see it in, like, a fucking porn. You're like, oh, man, I want to do that. It's like, no. [00:59:55] Speaker B: There's no way that's pleasant. There's no way in hell that's pleasant. I'm 100% convinced of that. [01:00:05] Speaker A: There's a reason why you only see it, like, as a ten second sex scene, because that's all they could do. But, yeah, sorry, lady, you fucking opened up pandora's box. You can't shut it. He really likes you. [01:00:22] Speaker B: No. He told her she was fat. [01:00:26] Speaker A: No, he did not. As a dude. He said he wished I was skinnier ever since we first did the deed. So he can pick me up and stuff. [01:00:40] Speaker B: That's mean and gross. [01:00:44] Speaker A: As a dude, I'm like, no, you ask for fantasies. That's what she asked for, fantasies. I fantasize him on having a million dollars. [01:00:59] Speaker B: The thing is, though, he didn't have to say that she needed to lose weight to do it. [01:01:04] Speaker A: She kept pressing. [01:01:06] Speaker B: He should have just said that. I just wish I was able to pick you up. Op said about weight, he could work out more to be able to pick her up. [01:01:18] Speaker A: See, this is the difference between men and women. Op said. He said he had none, but I kept pressing because I wanted to make him happy. So it's like you kept on yell back, really? Come on. What's your fantasy? Come on, you can tell me about the fantasy. [01:01:35] Speaker B: The fantasy. It's fine. It's the fact that she said that she needed to lose weight. [01:01:40] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he said so. He said he wished I was skinnier. [01:01:48] Speaker B: Since the first time. That's been there the entire time. [01:01:54] Speaker A: Yeah, because he wants to pick her up and do some porn star shit. [01:02:01] Speaker B: No, it's a trusting. [01:02:05] Speaker A: So, men, if you're listening at this point, never tell women the truth, ever. You can't tell hose the truth. [01:02:13] Speaker B: He didn't have to include the details about her being skinnier. He could have just said, I wish I could pick you up. [01:02:21] Speaker A: Apparently he's asian, so they're fucking honest over there. I'm sure I say some heinous shit from time to time, but that's fine. I'm a bad person. [01:02:43] Speaker B: And yet you've never once told me you thought I was fat. [01:02:48] Speaker A: Emochi boop. [01:02:53] Speaker B: If you can't say something nice, you don't need to say anything at all. [01:02:59] Speaker A: You just make fun of my cat all the time. You're like, she drools and her drool is disgusting. Yes, she's a fucking foul beast. [01:03:07] Speaker B: I never called her a foul beast. Her drool is disgusting. Maybe a foul beast, but that would be a compliment. [01:03:14] Speaker A: She's a fine suspense, but that's it. That's all we got for this week. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, all that bullshit. Alex truck everywhere. That's where you can get in contact with me. And also you can start mining PI. I'm going to talk probably more about that in a different episode. If you mine PI, they're now $30 a coin, and I've fucked off on it for way too long. But I still have, like, $5,000, so it's pretty goddamn dope. It's a pyramid scheme. But if you do, use my username Alex a truck to get you in and start mining. Get me more money. [01:04:07] Speaker B: Just fishing for underlings. [01:04:08] Speaker A: I am, yeah, 100%. It's a fucking pyramid scheme. I didn't lie about that. Fucking mine, your shit, and then you can get underlings of your own, and then they can make you money. It is a pyramid scheme of the grandest order. That costs you nothing. That is it. Goodbye, everybody. So long. [01:04:36] Speaker B: Bye. [01:04:37] Speaker A: Pay for professionalism. Bye.