Mutha's Day

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alright, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. It is mother's day. Boop boop boop boop. You better call your moms, especially if you're listening to this live as it comes out. So I'm gonna start by talking about my mother. She is a wonderful lady. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Ahem. You did not introduce me. [00:00:25] Speaker A: Fine. Then we got fucking my wife over here who's not a mom. She in fact got her uterus forcibly removed through her pussy hole. [00:00:35] Speaker B: I can create. [00:00:37] Speaker A: So she wants to, you know, be like, hey, look, I can't be a mother. Ha ha ha. That's tits, Courtney. I guess she can be a mother if she wants. [00:00:49] Speaker C: She just has to go get, most likely we'll adopt. [00:00:52] Speaker A: She has to go to get secret sauce from like a dude. Like, hey, come in my hand so I can like take it back home and become my mother. [00:00:59] Speaker B: Nuh uh. Adopt, don't shop. [00:01:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like that. That way you can get like a fucking cute baby that doesn't have any problems. [00:01:07] Speaker B: You don't know what the baby's going to grow into no matter what race you pick from. [00:01:11] Speaker A: Well, no, like, that doesn't matter at all. The race doesn't matter. You can look at the medical histories of both the mother and the father. [00:01:19] Speaker B: So you don't know your dog until they're about three years old. Throughout their puffy to young adolescence phase, you have no idea what they're gonna turn out. Like. [00:01:28] Speaker A: Yeah. No, like it's all how you raise. There's a whole thing on nature versus nurture and, you know, like is there, you know, a path to where I was, you know, a millionaire kid, a much better kid and yeah, there was, but, you know, like my brothers, like I was, you know, the experiment. Oh, that doesn't work. Okay. Don't do that. Holy shit. Yep. You know, maybe don't hit them. Hit them. I don't know, hit them a little bit. Yeah. And then, you know, now I have, you know, little brothers that are doing awesome. You know, me, I'm doing okay. So I would say, you know, my parents did a pretty fucking good job raising me, you know? And I don't think like anything like in like my genetic material is, you know, making me a better or worse person, you know, like maybe it might, you know, contribute to my ADHD or some shit like that. [00:02:37] Speaker C: Me too. I think my mom really has like some form of ADHD because she's just like really, you know. [00:02:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, there's just like certain things like that. But it's like, you know how she raised me and the values she gave me, you know, growing up, there's, you know, people around me that, you know, pretty much grew up with the same values, and, you know, we all kind of, you know, took similar paths, and then they're far from the tree, and then there's, you know, people that were, you know, raised shittily and have shitty paths that they don't have anything good in their life. [00:03:18] Speaker B: It's up to you to break the cycle. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't care. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Cycle breaking is hard. [00:03:23] Speaker A: It is. So I, you know, I have a good mother. You know, she had me at 18, which was a mistake. Oh, my God. I fucking ruined her life. [00:03:33] Speaker B: He did. [00:03:34] Speaker A: You know, I fucking, you know, dropped out of her. I'm like, yo, what's up, bitch? Fucking give me that tit. Oh, my God. I'm gonna fucking cock block every man. You know, I'm, like, sitting there in her pussy, like, slapping the dicks away. Get out of here. Get out of here. I'm in here. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Ugh. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Get out of here. Fuck off. You know, kicking the dicks away. I'm like, yeah, my mom's like, oh, my God. That's not the dick. That's my bladder. Fucking. Quit kicking that. And, you know, then I came out a big, fat fucking baby at, like, ten pounds. [00:04:11] Speaker B: You were not ten pounds. [00:04:13] Speaker A: I was asked my mom. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Your mom told me you were nine pounds and 1oz. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Then she lied to me. That's a terrible lie. Why would you lie about how much I weighed? I don't have any frame of reference. I'm like, mom, I've easily, like, you know, shit out a ten pound shit. [00:04:30] Speaker B: You do not want to give birth to a ten pound baby. [00:04:32] Speaker A: I. You know, I could. I can give birth to a ten pound baby out my butthole, no problem. Easy. Like, there. There has been shits I've taken where I'm like, ow, this hurts a bit. And then I look down, I'm like, oh, no. And then I break out my poop knife and, you know, cut it up. Like. [00:05:03] Speaker B: There are days I miss four chan. I'm not gonna lie. [00:05:06] Speaker A: I don't think you ever went to four chan, honestly. [00:05:09] Speaker B: No, you showed me the story. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Yeah, poop knives are great, but I. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Was there from the beginning. [00:05:16] Speaker A: But, like, my favorite fucking. I love taking shits at, like, gas stations because they have, like, those power, like, suckers that are like. And they'll fucking. You suck your shit, you know, into wherever the fuck it goes. I don't care that that thing, like, I'm sure if someone like flushed their hand, it would kill them. At least take their arm. Don't. Don't even try it. Right? I don't think the women's bathrooms have, you know. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Have you ever been in a women's restroom at a gas station? [00:05:49] Speaker A: No. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Cuz it's not pretty. [00:05:52] Speaker A: I guarantee you. Women shit on the wall. It's like men, like, we'll like write disgusting shit on like, the toilet paper dispenser. But like, nazis rule. Ben was here. Ben is gay. I sucked Ben's dick. We're all, we're all gay. You know? If you're reading this, you're gay. Fuck, we're all gay. And just like a bunch of like, homophobic shit, you know, all over, it's fine. But I love taking shits there. And I'm sure if like my mom had like a miscarriage, like, in one of those fucking toilets, evidence would have been gone. But I love shitting in those toilets because I don't have to have my poop knife for that ever. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Some reason, this remind me of Becky. Let me smash. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah, cuz it's fucking just shitposting at this point. But so you know, to honor my mom, I came out at 18 when she was 18 years old. Fucking ruined the beginning of her whole fucking life. Just. I know she was miserable and she just had to love me because you can't be that shitty of a mother to be like, oh, fuck. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Well, also oxytocin. [00:07:14] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, I love this cat. Mochi is like a precious little baby, but if she's a little shithead, I will lock her the fuck out. I don't care. You know, I'm like, get out of here, Moe. Asshole. And you know, my mom, you know, never really did that. She's like, I love this child because I have to. I have to like, make the best of a mistake. And it's like, good for you, lady. And then she did it two more times. I'm like, I don't know, like, you could do other things if you're a masochist. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Like you like how your mom popped out a relic. Your dad and then another you. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, neither of them are like me. [00:08:12] Speaker B: I know, but Anthony looks so much like you sometimes. And I'm dreadful at faces and I can see the similarities. [00:08:18] Speaker A: I mean, I don't know. You see him because he's brown, fine, but yeah, like, I see like, you know, these little fucking dudes. I'm like, what? You can have like, my dad hit you like that. That's another option. Like, you hit me, but, like, not in the face because people will notice and ask questions. Like, hit body shots, pinch my nipples extra hard. You know, like, there's other things you can do to hurt yourself. And it's not permanent. Now, I like my brothers, so they're cool dudes. Yeah. So I don't hold it against her, but it's like, me, I, like, watch this growing up, and I'm like, that sounds awful. Why would you do that? Why would you put a baby into a woman that you love and then watch her fucking vagina get split in half and then watch her shit on the table? That's awful. [00:09:17] Speaker B: It just happens. [00:09:20] Speaker A: And then do it again. Put a nut baby in. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, if. If you weren't gonna go get your fucking uterus removed, I'd probably, like, get, like, that little bath that you put your balls in that kill all your sperm. It's like, a little. [00:09:41] Speaker B: What? [00:09:42] Speaker A: There's a little hot bath that you can fucking put your balls in, like, a little fucking ball jacuzzi. And you just, like, fucking, like, dip your nuts in there, like, once a week, and it fucking kills all the sperm in there. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Okay. I got rid of my uterus more than just for the laugh, more than just the fear of being. Of being pregnant without having access to a safe abortion. It was also causing me lots of medical pain. Medical issues and pain. Like, I wasn't well, so. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Yeah, my wife, you think her what? [00:10:15] Speaker C: Well, I think, like, her hormones, like, definitely got a little helped by having it removed because, like, she didn't, like, lose early gain weight, but the weight that she carried, it wasn't in, like, weird places anymore, you know? [00:10:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:10:32] Speaker A: And it's on her chest, and I'm like, that's pretty cool. [00:10:35] Speaker B: A lot of my upper pudge kind of miss it. Kept me warm. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Well, now you have a big fat guy over here. That's. [00:10:42] Speaker B: It was great for, like, holding my iPad up against. And now it's not there no more. [00:10:47] Speaker C: Alex, just get one of those pad things. They're, like, $15 off of Amazon. [00:10:51] Speaker B: I just use a blankie. [00:10:54] Speaker C: Oh, me too. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Just get, like, something, you know, like a screen that's attached to the wall. I know. I'll call it a tv and you can watch stuff on it. [00:11:09] Speaker B: What? [00:11:10] Speaker A: Just watch shit on the tv? [00:11:14] Speaker B: I have no idea what you've just said. [00:11:17] Speaker A: What? Like, instead of using your iPad, use the tv? [00:11:20] Speaker B: No, I'm using my ipod to play games. [00:11:23] Speaker A: Yeah, but your games play themselves. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't like super. I don't like games that require lots of hand motion because it hurts my hands. I can only do simple to play. [00:11:34] Speaker A: Games now, so I do. So in, you know, respect for Mother's day, we have some fucking news stories, including moms. We have great moms, we have the worst moms, and, you know, a couple fucking. Am I the asshole in relationship advice, including mothers. This entire episode is going to be about mothers for mothers, by mothers. All. Mothers. [00:12:01] Speaker B: All. Mothers lives matter. [00:12:03] Speaker A: No, mothers lives matter. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:12:07] Speaker A: So for the first one, and like, I really wanted to talk about the airman that got fucking killed and the police got to the wrong house. But tough, tough dude. You'll get it next week. We'll talk about you next week. If I remember, some fucking dude was just like eating like, sonic or something and got killed. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Was he black? [00:12:28] Speaker A: Yeah, of course he was. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:12:30] Speaker A: A Texas mother has been arrested after a drink she made for her son's bully sent him to the hospital. Misses Jennifer Lynn Rossi, a 45 year old reportedly mixed lemon juice, vinegar, salt and Gatorade together in a sports bar. Sorry, I'm a little sick. Together in a sports bottle. And told her son to give it to a classmate who had stolen his drink the day before. So, yeah, lemon juice, vinegar, salt, and gatorade, that's fine. I'm sure that it tastes kind of gross. Maybe. [00:13:07] Speaker B: Does the lemon juice interact with the vinegar at all? [00:13:11] Speaker A: Maybe, but not that much. But upon arriving at the school, deputies learned that the sick child was given a drink by a classmate during PE. Shortly after the child consumed the drink, he had reportedly began experiencing nausea and a headache and was taken to the hospital. Honestly, that bully is a little bitch. Fucking learn how to, you know, take a drink. You're gonna drink way worse shit than that when you, you know, start drinking alcohol, so. Oh, my God. That. That lady is fucking crazy. Let me. Let me fucking shake. [00:13:53] Speaker B: These mug shots are so unflattering. It's the worst lighting. It's a stressful situation. No makeup. Mug shots are designed to look ugly. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Well, it doesn't matter. Let me. This is the fucking, you know, picture of the lady. He sent the juice that made the fucking juice drink. Yeah. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Okay. There's a myth out there that drinking vinegar and lemon juice will help you lose weight. So kid didn't get that sick. [00:14:20] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why I'm calling this little bully kid a bitch. He's like, yeah, but, yeah, no, like, she has crazy woman eyes. Look at these fucking eyes. [00:14:33] Speaker B: Does she actually go to jail? [00:14:35] Speaker A: What are you doing? [00:14:36] Speaker B: Being a mo? [00:14:37] Speaker A: Well, she stopped doing that. Yeah, she was arrested and booked into jail where she was charged with injury to a child and causing bodily injury. The investigation is ongoing. [00:14:48] Speaker B: She's got to pay hospital bills. She gonna get sued. [00:14:52] Speaker A: Yeah, well, this is a couple months ago, so. But next story. Mother accused of accidentally striking son with car after trying to break up a fight at school in Miami was taken into custody. This was last year, November 27. Last year, 2023. A mother was driven to extremes after police said she accidentally struck her son while trying to hit another juvenile in a fight after a fight broke out at a South Florida school. And the danger didn't end there. Damn. A twelve year old kid. She hit her twelve year old fucking son. [00:15:36] Speaker B: Oh, shit. What a. Okay. [00:15:40] Speaker A: Oh, man. So, yeah, her twelve year old kid got into a fight and she's like, I'm gonna run over this other fucking twelve year old. And she accidentally hit her own kid. That is the most Florida fucking shit I have heard in a while. Police said instead of driving to the hospital with her son, the mother allegedly followed the other child who fought her son to his home. The mother, who was being followed, then called the police and they arrived at the home. Once on scene, the twelve year old's mother was taken into custody. The mother's identity or any charges she may have faced were not disclosed. Yeah, I mean, it's Florida, like, ah, it's Tuesday. Get out of here, you scamp. It's your kid. Okay. No, he's not. He has a broken leg or whatever. [00:16:38] Speaker B: You know, I think it said mild laceration. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Um, well, he them, um. [00:16:46] Speaker B: Yeah, it's laceration. [00:16:47] Speaker A: He was transported to Jackson Memorial Hospital with a laceration to his leg. So good for this mother. Badass bitch trying to stick up for her kid. A bad fighter, obviously, you know, an even worse driver, so. But, you know, cool on her for trying. Now for the last story we have before we get into the best and worst mothers. Mother renames son after tattooist makes spelling error. [00:17:26] Speaker B: It's cheaper. It's cheaper to change your name than it is to get that tattoo fixed. That was the easiest solution ever. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Unfortunately, one swedish mother fell victim to an embarrassing typo after her tattooist misspelled her son's name, Kevin as Kelvin. What are you doing? Is it loose? [00:17:50] Speaker C: Wow. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Do I need to tighten it? [00:17:51] Speaker B: Watch out for Keith. [00:17:54] Speaker A: But yeah, Kelvin. I mean, that's not even a bad fucking name. Honestly. It's better than Kevin. [00:18:00] Speaker B: You can just pretend it's like calm and you don't pronounce the l. [00:18:06] Speaker A: No, I mean like, Kelvin is like. Just like a cooler fucking name. [00:18:09] Speaker B: Isn't that. Isn't Kelvin a degree? [00:18:15] Speaker A: Yeah, technically, but it can also be a fucking name. [00:18:18] Speaker B: Yeah, but this kid, it was named after the kid who invented it, Kelvin. [00:18:23] Speaker A: So. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Yeah, now that was the best way to. I don't know how expensive it is to change your kid's name in Sweden though. I just know how much. How much it costs in the US. It's $300. By the way. [00:18:32] Speaker A: She returned to the artist who laughed and said there wasn't anything he could do apart from issue a refund. [00:18:39] Speaker B: I mean, he's kind of right. That is not an easy cover up. [00:18:47] Speaker A: So. Yeah, then they had another kid, Freya. Oh, their fucking last name is Sandstrom. That's a fucking cool name. [00:18:57] Speaker B: And his cool name. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Kelvin Sandstrom. Yeah, it's fine. [00:19:02] Speaker B: How old's Kelvin? I feel like that's important. If he's like over six, then it's kind of okay. [00:19:08] Speaker A: No, I think the kid was just born. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Okay, that's perfectly fine. [00:19:15] Speaker A: Yeah, it doesn't say. Oh, he was almost age two at the time. [00:19:21] Speaker B: Okay, so he doesn't know his name's been changed. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Yeah, so it's fine. It's like not that much of a difference. Yeah, so, yeah, easy. [00:19:32] Speaker B: Easy. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Fucking, you know, good mother, you know, thinking on her feet and gave her kid a cooler fucking name. Last name. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Yeah, Kevin. [00:19:44] Speaker A: Anyway, fucking, you know, big props to that fucking tattoo artist, you know. It's a shitty tattoo though. Yeah, let's like. Like this is the. [00:19:54] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. It's pretty basic. [00:19:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a basic bitch fucking, you know. Hey, look, we did fucking writing on my own tattoos. [00:20:02] Speaker B: Better than that. [00:20:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:04] Speaker B: I need to get this touched up. [00:20:06] Speaker A: So now. Now we have some of. We're gonna start with the worst mothers and then go on to the best mothers. We have three of the worst mothers and we're gonna start off with Marie. No. Which is what her kids said after they were getting murdered by her. She had ten kids and all ten are dead. She was convicted and murdering eight of them. And two died of natural causes, starvation. They're like Marie. [00:20:42] Speaker B: No. [00:20:45] Speaker A: But she said that all of her babies died from sudden infant death syndrome from SIDS. [00:20:52] Speaker B: She like killed them when they were babies. Like she didn't let them grow up. [00:20:54] Speaker A: Oh, no, no. [00:20:55] Speaker B: Oh, well then this is perfectly fine. Mothers of all species a lot of times kill their young. [00:21:02] Speaker A: This is just as but she had ten of them. [00:21:05] Speaker B: This is evolutionally normal. [00:21:08] Speaker C: That's shitty. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Like, if you have three and you murder three, I'm like, okay, you're a bad person if you murder one. I'm like, I get it. Yeah, she's a. [00:21:18] Speaker B: Why? Why are parents not allowed to murder their own child? Like, I feel like as long as under five, it's fine. [00:21:24] Speaker C: They shouldn't do that. [00:21:26] Speaker B: But why? [00:21:27] Speaker C: Once the baby is not a parasite to their body, then, no, they shouldn't do that. [00:21:35] Speaker B: But why not? Lots of species do. [00:21:38] Speaker C: We, as a species, have taken to the person of life were different from animals we can actually see. [00:21:46] Speaker A: None of her kids live past, like, one. [00:21:49] Speaker B: What if she had, like, some nasty genetic disease she didn't want to pass on? [00:21:53] Speaker A: March 7, 1949. [00:21:55] Speaker C: Abstinence or getting fixed? [00:21:59] Speaker A: There wasn't back then this kid was one month old. This kid was a couple months old. [00:22:06] Speaker B: She named him. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Richard Allen. No. Elizabeth Mary? No. Jacqueline? No. Arthur? No. Junior? Constance? No, she's like, constance. You know? Like, she was, like, waiting for one of the kids to be named. Yes. You know, it's like, you know, God, should I kill this Richard or should I let him live? No. Yeah. [00:22:34] Speaker B: How are we? Do we know how many fathers they were? Like, did she go out with, like, at least two different dudes named Arthur because she named two kids Arthur Junior? [00:22:45] Speaker A: Are Arthur. No, Junior and Arthur Joseph? No. [00:22:51] Speaker B: Like, were there two different dudes of Arthur, or did the same dude Arthur? [00:22:56] Speaker A: Um, no, just Arthur. Just. Oh, Arthur Allen. No, they met in a private club in West Kensington. I mean, in the neighborhood of Philly. [00:23:11] Speaker B: So do we know if he was fine with the babies dying or not? [00:23:13] Speaker A: Yeah, of course he was. [00:23:15] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Every dude is okay with the babies fucking dying. Yeah. I get to get in there and make another one. Hell, yeah. I'm gonna tear that pussy up, you know, fucking April 7, 1949. And then another baby was born September 8, 1950. Dude, like, you didn't fucking hardly wait any goddamn time before, you know, dicking her down again. [00:23:39] Speaker B: Fertility is, like, really unpredictable post birth. [00:23:44] Speaker A: Well, the baby was born March 7, you know, 1949. Then, you know, by September 8, 1950, there's another baby being born. The first baby was already dead. [00:23:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:59] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. This woman is a legend. [00:24:02] Speaker B: Oh. She had a hysterectomy. Oh. Then she ran out of babies to kill. [00:24:08] Speaker A: She had a uterine rupture. [00:24:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:13] Speaker A: During a c section of her last child, she had a uterine rupture and underwent a hysterectomy. I'm sure she would have had way more kids. But from 1949 to 1968, she was just murdering babies left and fucking, right. [00:24:28] Speaker B: Oh, so she murdered other people's babies? [00:24:30] Speaker A: No, only hers. [00:24:31] Speaker B: Okay, well, this is perfectly fine. This is population control. Well, this is needed. [00:24:37] Speaker A: One baby was stillborn, so she didn't get convicted. It was this fucking umbilical cord knot. [00:24:45] Speaker B: Another one had a congenital heart disease. Yeah, her babies weren't well. [00:24:50] Speaker A: Nope. They. They were not. [00:24:53] Speaker B: Maybe it was a mercy killing. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Maybe it was her brother, but. And then for some reason, this lady, Leonor Sinansky, was on the worst mothers list, and she started this whole thing called free range kids. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Oh, no, I've seen this. This is a very interesting way to raise children, in my opinion. [00:25:24] Speaker A: So she just is like, yeah, fucking let your kids take the subway, whatever. You know, let them go to the library by themselves and, you know, just let them be unsupervised. And I can't disagree with her. She's not completely wrong. [00:25:41] Speaker B: I mean, if it wasn't word here being completely. But, yes, I do. [00:25:45] Speaker A: If it wasn't for pedophiles, she would be 100% right. Unfortunately, there are people that like to fuck kids. [00:25:51] Speaker B: So it's like, ah, she's like the anti helicopter parent. Like, there's. There's the opposite extreme, you know? [00:25:59] Speaker A: It's like, I'm on her website right now, freerange kids.com. And you can have her speak. I wonder how much it is to have her speak. To please cook, click here. She's in New York. [00:26:17] Speaker B: She's written another book. Wow. Like, props to this bitch. Does she even have kids herself? [00:26:25] Speaker A: I don't know. I kind of wonder if this is relevant. [00:26:30] Speaker B: If she has kids. She doesn't have kids. This is more annoying. [00:26:34] Speaker A: I hope she doesn't, honestly. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Okay, well, can you find out? [00:26:38] Speaker A: Let's find out. She has crime stats. [00:26:47] Speaker B: She's a crime status? [00:26:49] Speaker A: Well, no, for fucking, you know, how much, you know, crime is going on. [00:26:53] Speaker B: Oh, for, like, her own made up statistics. Okay. [00:26:58] Speaker A: Let'S go. Leonard Sunanski. [00:27:18] Speaker B: What? [00:27:22] Speaker A: My son. So there's another website. My son died, but I have no regrets about his free range childhood. [00:27:30] Speaker B: What? [00:27:30] Speaker C: Wow. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Okay, so this is probably what she'd allow her nine year old son, Izzy, to make her way home from Bloomingdale's Manhattan. And apparently her son died. [00:27:46] Speaker B: How? Was he hit by a car? [00:27:49] Speaker A: Well, I'm reading. [00:27:50] Speaker B: Well, hurry up. [00:27:55] Speaker A: Let's see. Sons death. I think. I think he, like, left the kid in the car. Okay, so, yeah, I mean, fucking honestly, I. She's sticking to her guns. Her kids dead, and she's still sticking to her guns. [00:28:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:42] Speaker A: Thumbs up to this bitch. I love her. I can't. I can't say anything wrong. Yeah, she. She has to deal with that. That sucks. [00:28:54] Speaker B: It's population control, and we need more of it. [00:28:57] Speaker A: I mean, there's people that are dying in New York all the time. Her kid would probably be dead anyway. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:29:03] Speaker A: And then for the number one worst mother, Casey Anthony. Do you know who that is? [00:29:11] Speaker B: Okay, y'all gonna hate me, but I think she's innocent. [00:29:15] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. No, her dad fucking killed her daughter. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Yeah, no, definitely wasn't her. I feel like she was a. [00:29:27] Speaker A: Give me that water. She was a what? [00:29:32] Speaker B: An accomplice? [00:29:33] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, she obviously handed her kid over. [00:29:36] Speaker B: Yeah, she's dead. [00:29:41] Speaker A: No, Casey Anthony's still alive. Still hot, too. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Well, duh. [00:29:49] Speaker A: But, you know, Kaylee Anthony fucking was, like, only three and, you know, chloroformed up. I'm like, no woman owns chloroform. I. Chloroforms. [00:30:04] Speaker B: Chloroform is cheaper than it is today. [00:30:07] Speaker A: Well, I mean, and it's super cheap. [00:30:11] Speaker B: So it's really not used in the medical world anymore. Like, we use way better drugs, so it's not like. It's, like, patent. Well, I mean, like, fucking profavol is. [00:30:20] Speaker A: You can make chloroform. It's not that hard. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:30:27] Speaker A: But, yeah, she was, like, had a hot person contest, and I'm like, honestly, fucking, you know, Casey Anthony, you know, fucking bangin still. I mean, I want to fuck her because she's, like, has, like, that long face. [00:30:45] Speaker B: You don't like horse faces? [00:30:47] Speaker A: Don't like the horse faces. No. I mean, I wonder if she has, like, a fucking onlyfans. [00:30:55] Speaker B: That'd be great. [00:30:56] Speaker A: Oh, my God. She. Hopefully she hasn't onlyfans, only fans. No, she does not know she is. Would you buy a Casey Anthony Onlyfan? Yeah, of course I would. I don't have an Onlyfans account, but, yeah, I would make one just for the fucking whole thing here. You know, people. People fucking, you know, hate her, but it's like, you know, she. She's still pretty bangin good for her. Good for this lady. You know, she got out of fucking being a parent and undid her mistake. [00:31:48] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:31:49] Speaker A: And at a young age, too. It's like if you waited till your kid was 16 and stabbed him to death slowly or fucking, you know, locked him in a closet and, like, you know, murdered them, you know, horribly. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker A: Or sold them into sex slavery. That would be an awful thing to do. But fucking. Just murdering your kid. [00:32:05] Speaker B: Like, are three year olds even self aware? [00:32:08] Speaker A: Kind of, like. [00:32:09] Speaker B: I don't know much about toddlers. [00:32:11] Speaker A: They're like, I love you, mommy. But, you know, other than that, they're just, you know, kind of, like, shitty, you know, human things. [00:32:18] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [00:32:20] Speaker A: It's fine. [00:32:21] Speaker C: I mean, kids become self aware much earlier than you think. [00:32:25] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't remember most of my childhood, I guess so. [00:32:30] Speaker C: I mean, most people don't have memories when they grow up. They don't remember something. Well, actually, I know some people that do. I remember some things when I was, like, two. [00:32:42] Speaker B: That's cool. Are they nice memories? [00:32:44] Speaker C: Yeah. No. Well, yeah, and, uh, no, there's some good memories of, like, riding around the park and then the neighbor girl, and then there's, like, a memory where they told me we were moving to northern California, and I threw a tantrum and ran away to the neighbor's house. And I remember having to take a nap and getting. My butt stinks. Yep. [00:33:26] Speaker A: So now we're gonna go on to the great mothers, the good ones, you know, the. The ones that should be acknowledged. We got a couple for you here. We're gonna start it off easy with Mother Teresa. She was a nun or some shit that was just known for being wrinkly. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Was she Catholic? [00:33:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Is there, like, any other nuns that are, like. [00:33:57] Speaker B: There's Orthodox, there's Greek, or. There's, like. There's all types of other Orthodox. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Yeah, but like, your Greek Orthodox or the Catholics. [00:34:06] Speaker B: Okay. Greek is just a largest community. There's, like, Russian. [00:34:09] Speaker A: They're Catholics. Oh, my God. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Russian Catholics. Enter threshians, Orthodox. There's both. Point is, I don't know a lot about Catholicism. [00:34:23] Speaker C: Yeah. I wonder what Google has to stay about. [00:34:27] Speaker A: Mother Teresa. She's an Albanian. [00:34:31] Speaker C: Fucking horrible lady. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Oh, Mother Teresa. [00:34:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:36] Speaker C: She was surprisingly a horrible lady. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Yeah, no, but she did good things. [00:34:41] Speaker C: Opens. Not really. She was all for the cath. Like, all of the money that she ever did was to just spread Catholicism and to. [00:34:54] Speaker B: Yeah. She. [00:34:54] Speaker A: Catholicism? Yes. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Wait, it says white savior shit right here. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, she's not white. [00:35:00] Speaker C: Well, so the clinics that she opened in this, like, she has a really shitty mentality. Like, she thought the poor deserved to be poor and that we shouldn't really try to help them. And, like, the sick and her clinics, like, they didn't treat anyone. There was no, like, trained staff or. There was no training. [00:35:25] Speaker A: Mother Teresa founded Missionaries of Charity, a religious congregation, which grew to have 4500 nuns across 133 countries as of 2012. The congregation manages homes for people who are dying of HIV AIDS, leprosy, and tuberculosis. The congregation also runs soup kitchens, dispensaries, mobile clinics, children and family counseling programs, as well as orphanages and schools. Members take vow of chastity, poverty, and obedience, and also prevent profess. A fourth vow, to give wholeheartedly free service to the poorest of the poor. So she, you know, herself was kind of bad. It's like Hitler. It's like Hitler was a bad dude, but he also made fucking volkswagen, which made him a really bad dude, and he did the whole jew thing. [00:36:24] Speaker B: For some reason, I thought tuberculosis had been eradicated. [00:36:27] Speaker A: I'm very sad to learn not in the United States. Tuberculosis is coming back now? [00:36:33] Speaker B: Yes. [00:36:33] Speaker A: You know, mostly eradicated. We need competitors. [00:36:38] Speaker B: More death. More death. Wait. [00:36:41] Speaker A: But yes, she was a controversial figure herself. [00:36:45] Speaker B: Can I start a death cult? [00:36:47] Speaker A: Yeah, you can do whatever you want, but yeah, no, she inspired people to be better, and she inspired a lot of good things to happen. This is why I will give her fucking, you know, props for being a good quote unquote mother. You know, it's like you. You take all the good shit you did and all the bad shit you did, and it's like, you know, imagine if you were, like, the most selfless guy ever, and you're like, ah, but I hated black people. It's like I just couldn't, you know, just get the. They made me angry, you know, with their big noses and their rap music. I hated them. And it's like, yeah, but you also, you know, save, like, if Mister Beast was racist, it's like he's some youtuber kid that, like, gives money out to people. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Huh. [00:37:47] Speaker A: You know, he's like, hey, you know, welcome to our fucking car lot. This car lot. We pay you to take the cars. And I feel like it's all staged bullshit. Because if that was, like, a real thing, like, people would, like, just be there instantly and, like, take them all. So I feel like he, like, hires people to be in the video and be like, hey, you get a car. You get a car. You get a car. You get a car. I'm sure there's, like, you know, people. He walks down the street and beg, hey, here you go. Here's a bunch of money. And there's like, cool. So. But yeah, I mean, Mother Teresa, bad bitch. Up next, Betty white, fucking golden girl. Nice tits. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:38:39] Speaker A: You know, everything. Everything. [00:38:42] Speaker B: She lived her best life till the end. I know everything's in the way. [00:38:48] Speaker A: She was volunteering with Americans woman. [00:38:52] Speaker B: Babe, move your toy sauce. [00:38:54] Speaker A: Come here. You know, she. Her husband, dick Barker, and I'm sure, like, after a while, she was a dick Barker. [00:39:11] Speaker B: Ah. [00:39:14] Speaker A: You know, just barking at his dick. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Like, I don't get it. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Like a dog sucking his dick. [00:39:20] Speaker B: Oh. [00:39:23] Speaker A: God. [00:39:24] Speaker B: Wait, so blowjobs are called barking at the dick? [00:39:26] Speaker A: No, I took some liberties. And autism is like. [00:39:35] Speaker B: No, it didn't make sense. [00:39:38] Speaker A: It's not meant to make sense. Comedy. [00:39:41] Speaker B: Be funny. [00:39:43] Speaker A: Oh. Fucking everything I do that's quote unquote comedy is not supposed to make sense. So. But, yeah, fucking on December 25, she suffered a stroke. Oh, no. I didn't realize it was Christmas. [00:40:00] Speaker B: Christmas is Betty White's death day. [00:40:03] Speaker A: No. On the morning of December 31, she died in her sleep. [00:40:07] Speaker B: Okay, good. She didn't die on my birthday. I'd be real sad. [00:40:12] Speaker A: I didn't realize it was that. Oh, no. But, yeah, she was an animal welfare advocate, racial equality, lgbt rights. [00:40:25] Speaker B: She did so much good shit. [00:40:27] Speaker A: So, you know, Betty White. You know, here's to you. You're a bad bitch. We all love you. You're a mother to everyone. Up next, Julie Andrews. You know, sound of music. Mary Poppins. Holy shit. She was in the princess Diaries. [00:40:49] Speaker B: What do you mean, holy shit, she was in the Princess Diaries. Who did you think it was? Meryl Strip. [00:40:57] Speaker A: What? [00:40:58] Speaker B: What did you think it was? [00:41:00] Speaker A: Who did you say? [00:41:01] Speaker B: Meryl Streep. [00:41:02] Speaker A: Meryl Streep Streep. [00:41:04] Speaker B: Stretch. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Streep, streep. Meryl Streep. [00:41:10] Speaker B: That's just how it's coming out of my mouth. I can't help it. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God. She was in Shrek two. [00:41:14] Speaker B: What the. How do you not know any of this? How do I know more than you? She's in the fucking minions, for fuck's sake. [00:41:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't watch any of those. [00:41:22] Speaker B: I didn't watch them either, but I know of it. What? Yeah. [00:41:26] Speaker C: The minions is so cute, you guys. [00:41:28] Speaker A: Yeah, despicable me, like a lot of these fucking moo. Choosing puss and boots. [00:41:36] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Okay. She was in my favorite cartoon movie of all time. [00:41:45] Speaker A: No, I just knew about the sound of music in Mary Parker. [00:41:48] Speaker C: What's your favorite cartoon movie? [00:41:50] Speaker B: Gay. I can't say it, but it's like, gay Perry, but it's spelled with P u r r. Cause it's about cats. [00:41:57] Speaker A: Gay cats. Gay purry. [00:42:02] Speaker B: I don't know if there are any. Actually, you know what? There are some, like, bro love undertones here and there. I won't deny that. But that's why she's important to me. [00:42:13] Speaker A: But, yes, Julie Andrews is still alive. [00:42:16] Speaker B: Oh, you know what? No, it was Judy Garland, wasn't it? [00:42:18] Speaker A: I'm wrong, and I thought she was dead for sure. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Why did you think she was dead? Who else do you think is dead that's alive? [00:42:27] Speaker A: How would I know? [00:42:28] Speaker B: That's a good question. [00:42:31] Speaker A: But, yeah, she fucking busted her ass. [00:42:34] Speaker B: How would you be surprised to find out? Still alive? [00:42:39] Speaker A: Um. Pierce Brosman. [00:42:42] Speaker B: Go look it up. [00:42:43] Speaker A: He's alive. I know he is. That's not a valid statement, but he's old. But, like, Pierce Brosnan, like, the. My favorite James Bond of all time. Doesn't even like these blonde James Bonds. Don't even fucking come close. They're all garbage. And my Sean Connery is also a good runner up, I'll grant you that. But, you know, it's like, just like, he was everything. I wonder if she actually has a kid. I wonder if any of these people that I'm, you know, mentioning even have kids. [00:43:27] Speaker B: You don't have to have a kid to be a mother. [00:43:30] Speaker A: They're my mother. I'm. I'm adopting them all as mothers. [00:43:41] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:43:42] Speaker A: Let's see. Oh, she does. [00:43:49] Speaker B: Of course she does. [00:43:50] Speaker A: No fucking way. Emma Watson. Emma. Oh, no. Emma Walton Hamilton. Okay. Like, no fucking way. Joanna Edwards and Amy Edwards. Don't know who any of these fucking. [00:44:17] Speaker B: People are, which is either to their benefit or not. [00:44:21] Speaker A: No. They're all fucking, like, actors and shit, so, yeah, I mean, good for them. Yeah. She has three daughters, so, yes. You know, it all fucking tracks. Excellent. You know, great mother, Julie Andrews. Here's to you. And I'm probably the only one talking about Julie Andrews, like, on Mother's Day. And for the final mother, Marie Curie, the mother of science. [00:44:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:58] Speaker A: You know, this bitch fucking died of radiation, but, yeah. And all of her stuff is just all still radioactive. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Well, duh. [00:45:08] Speaker A: It's like her coffin is lead lined. You know, all of her books, you know, all of her tools. She's like. Yeah, and she was the first person to win a Nobel prize twice. [00:45:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:23] Speaker A: And the first woman to win a Nobel prize. [00:45:25] Speaker B: Yeah. She made footsteps. She broke barriers. [00:45:31] Speaker A: And her husband, Pierre Curie, was a co winner of the first Nobel prize making the first ever married couple to win a Nobel prize. [00:45:41] Speaker B: WHOOP. Whoops. [00:45:44] Speaker A: You know, the Curie family legacy of five Nobel prizes. But she just has, like, this lonely look in her eyes. Like, look. Look at her. Just pictures. It's like, oh, she's back. [00:45:56] Speaker B: In the time before you started smiling in pictures. [00:46:01] Speaker A: I just, like, look at eyes and I'm like, ah, you're lonely. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Eyes make me uncomfortable and sometimes they hurt. [00:46:08] Speaker A: But yes, she was a french citizen and, you know, she just did radioactive bullshit which ultimately ended in fucking, you know, nuclear disasters. Science needs to be researched, and hopefully we all fucking get back over to nuclear power. I feel like that is what needs to happen if we really want to have this electric car future that we're all dreaming of. Because, like, I see it's like, oh, we all need to have, like, by, like, you know, 2035. All cars need to be electric or some dumb bullshit like that. And it's like, oh, yeah, no, all these electric cars are turning out to be shit. [00:46:57] Speaker B: The technology just hasn't caught up with demands yet. It's a problem. [00:47:03] Speaker A: It has. It's just, you know, these companies want to be making fucking billions of dollars and they want to cut every fucking corner they possibly can. It's like, you know, how about this? You put out a good, decent fucking product, you know, a good long, you know, like, you know, fucking Honda already did. You know, they have a fucking hybrid that works really good. I feel like, which one, God, was. It's like the one. The back wheels, like, covered Honda hybrid. Oh, my gosh. Like, all of them are hybrids now. That's cool. Yeah, fucking. There's the chords. [00:47:57] Speaker B: Pretty sure all Toyota's cars are hybrids now, too. [00:48:01] Speaker C: No, no. [00:48:05] Speaker A: So, yeah, fucking, like, all of the new Hondas are hybrids. Oh, fuck. But, like, the back wheels were fucking, you know, covered and they got, like, some crazy fucking, you know, gas mileage. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Nice. [00:48:23] Speaker A: God, that's gonna fucking bother me now. [00:48:25] Speaker B: You'll remember it, like, one in the morning. [00:48:27] Speaker A: Yeah, or I just. I'll remember it when I see one on the road. I'm like, that's it. Like, in my head, it's like the Honda intrepid or something like that. It's not. But so. And then, you know, the best mother of them all, of course, is my mother. She's the best. You know, I don't know if she's actually listening. So if she is, you know, cool. And if she's not, oh, fuck, you know, waste of time doing that. [00:48:59] Speaker B: You still have to call her. [00:49:01] Speaker A: I'll do that tomorrow. Like, on the fucking actual mother's day. Way to lift the curtain. All right, so now. Now on to am I the asshole in relationship advice? Am I the asshole for refusing to lie to cover up what my mom realized about me by quiet ad 20, 412. When I was. When I 16, female was ten. I lost my dad. Well, maybe you can go find him. My parents were in a transitional period, as my mom's parents called it in the weeks prior to his death. What I think that means is they are trying to figure out how to divorce without fucking me up. But I thought it was pretty clear my parents relationship was done. They didn't seem happy in so long, and I don't remember them being affectionate with each other. Within a year of my dad dying, my mom met Harvey, and they were dating for two years. When she introduced me and him, he seemed okay. I wasn't like, oh, my God, so excited to have my mom dating someone, but it was fine. My mom asked me what I thought, and I told her he seemed okay. She was really happy, which was nice. And she asked me if I thought he'd make a good bonus dad. And I told her I hated how that sounded. We talked, and she admitted she wanted to pick someone I could see as a new father figure in my life. She said I didn't have to be. It didn't have to be an only dad thing. But even if I loved someone, to think of him as a second dad, I told her that wouldn't happen. But I'd be fine with Harvey sticking around and being married to her if she wanted that. We went to therapy, and Harvey eventually joined us. By the time we were done, I was almost 15 and they were married and mom was pregnant. My mom had two kids in the last 18 months. My half brother is 17 months old, and my half sister is three months old. Things were kind of crazy since my half brother was born. So my mom didn't do any kind of party or celebration of his birth. Since she and Harvey made sure that they won't have any more kids. And decided to throw a party to celebrate the kids being born. So this is where I said, I'm pretty indifferent to the babies. I know they're technically my half siblings, but I don't really feel anything towards them. Honestly, it makes me sad that I was the only kid my parents had together. Because I think it'd be really nice to have someone who's been there with me through my parents relationship. Breaking down, dad dying, mom remarrying, and starting a family with Harvey. I just don't see my half siblings the way I imagine seeing full siblings. Because we only share one parent. Because I'm so much older. And because our experiences will always be so different. I don't hate them, but honestly, I can't say I love them. During the party for the babies, I got kind of tired of faking being happy and enthusiastic about it. So I went upstairs for a while while talking to my best friend. Apparently, my mom overheard. And she talked to Harvey afterwards and was devastated because she realized I don't feel all warm and fuzzy about the babies. I'm not really happy to have half siblings. She realized I do see them as half, and it hurt her a lot because she assumed I would see them as simply siblings. Harvey told me what mom found out and told me to lie my ass off. So mom would think she misunderstood and go back to being happy with. When I said no, he told me I'm being selfish. Am I the asshole? [00:52:58] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:53:00] Speaker A: So pretty much, op fucking dad died. Mom fucking found a new guy, got remarried, they had babies. And she's just kind of indifferent. She's like, these are my half brothers and brother and sister. [00:53:16] Speaker B: I'm very confused by Harvey's behavior. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Harvey's just sticking up with a woman that he gets to put a dick inside of. And that's the way you should do it, you know, hey, fucking, you know, can you please, you know, play nice with mom, you know, type shit? [00:53:38] Speaker B: Okay. Although, Grant, to be honest, she just gave birth three months ago. She is. She's dealing with a lot of hormones and all other kinds of stuff. So in one way, I kind of see Harvey as, like, offering stability. And so I see that as acceptable. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Um, yeah, Opie, no, you're not the asshole. Um, I I've never had, like, a, you know, a parent die, but I've had friends that have had parents die. And it's like, you know, you can't really replace earth shattering, you know, you can't. You can't be like, oh, yeah, here's a new one. Bonus. Dead. [00:54:25] Speaker B: You know, it's completely different. [00:54:28] Speaker A: It's like, you know, that that hole is still there. And I, you know, I feel really bad for you. So. Yeah, Opie, you're not the asshole. You know, just, I feel really. What it is, is you have such a huge age difference, you know, same thing with my. Me and my brothers, you know, like, I'm in. I was twelve when they were born. And, you know, that's a huge age difference between, you know, me and, you know, my brothers. You know, we didn't have anything, you know, in common. We didn't go to the same schools. I didn't run in the same groups. And it's like, you know, I'm like, fuck, I don't play Fortnite. So, Opie, you're not an asshole. [00:55:28] Speaker B: Opie's also a teenager. Op is 15. Where op is in, like, prime phase. [00:55:34] Speaker A: Opie is a 16 year old female. [00:55:36] Speaker B: Oh, my God. So, also hormones. [00:55:38] Speaker A: Yep. So, yeah, I mean, you're doing your own thing, you know, you have, like, a couple baby, you know, siblings. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Okay. The problem is op could lie to her mom, but op's mom would know she was lying, and that makes the situation worse. Like, I mean, I feel like op should be honest. Like, lying is not going to make things better. [00:56:00] Speaker A: Yeah, you can just be like, hey, you know, I don't, you know, hate the fact that you're happy, but it's. [00:56:05] Speaker B: Like, there's no right answer here, unfortunately. [00:56:08] Speaker A: It's like, well, what if, you know. You know, what made me happy was just something that you're indifferent about. It's like, what if what made me happy was, you know, getting, like, my ears pierced or something? It's like, yeah, cool. You got yours pierced. I was like, yay, I'm so happy about it. And it's like, yeah, not something that I'm upset about, or it's not something that I'm, you know, jazzed about. It's just something that is. [00:56:37] Speaker B: Remember when we first started dating, and I was so utterly under control that I asked you if it was okay if I got mere piercings? You were like, what the fuck? Duh. Do what you want. And I was like, what the fuck? [00:56:47] Speaker A: Yeah, do what you want. I don't care. [00:56:48] Speaker B: I love to do it with my body. [00:56:51] Speaker A: What do you think, Courtney? [00:56:55] Speaker C: About what? [00:56:56] Speaker A: About Opie and fucking. Is she an asshole? Did you not even listen? [00:57:05] Speaker C: Quite honestly, I forgot. I was just listening to what you guys were just saying right then and there, and I didn't realize in my head how it correlated. [00:57:14] Speaker A: So fucking op is being asked to put on a show and put on a smile to make mom feel. [00:57:22] Speaker B: Yeah, okay, I remember. [00:57:25] Speaker C: No, she should just be honest. But, like, quite honestly, family therapy could probably help. [00:57:30] Speaker A: I mean, they're going to therapy, so. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's hard to be 16. [00:57:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Just big. Hey, you know, I'm a different age, you know, and, you know, I'm going through, you know, different transitions in my life. Yeah, nothing is. [00:57:55] Speaker B: Life's a prison. [00:57:57] Speaker A: This is, you know, a new adventure for you. And, you know, Harvey, life is a prison, and so, you know, enjoy your adventure. I don't care. So, yeah, do you? Do you? But, yeah, that's it. Now on to relationship advice by proper education. 565 my husband, male, 39, has improved himself in every other way over the past few years, but now I'm petrified he'll leave me. How can I feel secure in a marriage where I 38th female am the worst one in every way. Background in the beginning of our 12th, in the beginning of a relationship twelve years ago, he was a chubby nerd with a kind heart. I was in okay shape with a few extra pounds in my midsection, and we were happy. He was in manufacturing and I'm in marketing. He dropped out of college, and I have my bachelor's with multiple professional certifications. We've always been making, I've always made more than double what he did, but I really didn't care. But it would bug him at times. He always insisted on doing the cooking, cleaning, and laundry to make up for it. Make up for it, which I thought was cute, but I insisted it wasn't necessary. We could always afford a modest lifestyle, and since marriage, we have pooled our finances as we grew our lives together. We both put on weight, and he put all his career ambitions on hold to support my dreams of climbing the corporate ladder. We have two kids, you know, mother, and he has done almost all of the daycare, sports, school doctor and playdates, chauffeuring since I've been born. Honestly, he has taken on far too much for the sake of my busy career and has just stagnated as a result. He only kept the the job for the flexibility to afford them. As a dad. The balance we, it was the balance we struck and were happy. Before COVID he was making 40,000 while I was making 120,000 with bonuses. Then COVID happened. It was during 2020 the change and my husband occurred. He lost his job. He started getting anxious for the first time in his life. And as a family, we were in good shape, but individually, he was not doing well. He was putting on a brave face for himself and the kids, but behind the scenes, he was a mess. He threw himself into housework, yard work, and video games to keep himself busy. But I don't know. It's a breaking point. I don't know what the breaking point was. But in January 2021, something changed. He started going to the weekly therapy sessions for his anxiety. On January 1, he started doing yoga every single day. He still does. He bought a peloton and took it. He took to it like a fish and water. He stuck with it until he had built up enough muscles, and he now does 200 plus miles a month every month. He started doing their workout classes and talked to a nutritionist. The pounds melted off of him. He started applying to jobs he previously thought he was too dumb or inexperienced or uneducated for and got one. It was amazing to watch. I felt so lucky to support his growth during the time while I plugged away at the corporate world. The problem? It all came to a head a few months ago. I got laid off from the company I had worked so hard for the company I lost so much time with my kids for. I had worked up to the directors level and it was gone in a flash. After we got the kids down, we had a good long talk. At the end of it, he told me not to stress about finding anything. We don't need me to work anymore. He was right. He makes a ludicrously large amount of money compared to what he used to more than most doctors since people will ask. He used to be a machinist, but after a lucky break followed by a promotion, then another promotion, he essentially runs one of the plans for a defense contractor. The dominoes of realization started to fall for me in the coming weeks. He makes more than enough to support us. I make nothing. He is an amazing father, whereas I was career first mother. As a career first mother, that was all for nothing. I don't have the same relationship with the children as he does. He doesn't have just abs, but the also incredible v thing next to his abs. Well, I have a gut and flabby arms. The other day when I struck up a conversation at the school pickup, the other mom said, oh, you're the one with the hot husband. So how did you lock him down? The subtext here could not be more obvious as I was not the first time something like this happened. I did see how the other moms look at him sexually. I cant keep up with him. He always has had a high libido while Im on the lower side. The man is a stallion in a bed and I get winded so easily compared to him. Thank God he is a human golden retriever oblivious to any flirting that im sure is happening when im not around. I think the only reason he hasnt left me yet is he rather building a magic deck or playing helldivers two than going through the trouble of hiding an affair. It feels like only a matter of time before he realizes he is out of my league and replaces me with someone who can keep up with him physically, monetarily, and mentally. We generally communicate great and he has reassured me time after time that he only has eyes for me. He insists the only reason he got where he is is because of the amazing support I gave him and how I kept the finances going for so long so he could improve himself. He says the sex is amazing, and he can't imagine having it with anyone else. He says there are no winners and losers in a couple, and if only one wins, we both win. He gives freely. He gives me. He freely gives me access to the phone to try and cull my fears. I feel like I struck nerd gold with my insecurity is keeping me from enjoying what should be a great life. How can I falsely feel secure and enjoy a marriage where I am the loser? And other moms can't figure out how I got the perfect man? Tldr was in a relationship, great relationship with mostly equal terms. After a self improvement journey, my husband became the perfect man that can easily leave me if he wanted to. And I can't feel secure or happy knowing that. [01:04:58] Speaker B: Op, I'm so sorry. You're dealing with imposter syndrome. It is the shittiest. And b, you also need therapy. I mean, impostor syndrome sucks. I'm dealing with that so hard at work right now. Like, you have no idea how awful it is to be doubting every single part of yourself that you once valued as such a huge part of your identity. Losing your work identity is crushing. I am so destroyed at work now, and everyone, like, seems to understand it, and they just do their best to baby me through it, and, like, it just makes it feel worse. I know precisely how op feels. And, darling, I'm so sorry, but you're completely wrong. Your man loves you. He's not gonna leave you. [01:05:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:46] Speaker A: I mean, you know, like, and, honey. [01:05:51] Speaker B: Take his shopping to go buy you some nice lingerie. That'll fix up anyone's self. Self doubt. Lingerie fixes everything. Mm hmm. [01:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, when men fucking get anxious, we just, you know. [01:06:10] Speaker B: See, op's husband was anxious. He went to therapy. He dealt with his own stuff, and once he cleared up all of those roadblocks, he was able to succeed. [01:06:18] Speaker A: Become a pillow princess. Yeah, yeah, but put a pillow underneath. He'll fucking slam away. Get to it. [01:06:28] Speaker B: I want to know what comments say. I want to be supported. [01:06:32] Speaker A: Engineering dry 799. So give him the same support he gave you. While you're climbing to the top of the corporate ladder, reinvest in your kids and relationship, and be grateful you can take the time to do it. Sounds like you married a jim who is a team player. Appreciate him. [01:06:49] Speaker B: Yep, yep, yep. [01:06:51] Speaker A: Recognize. This is probably what he went through when he lost his job. And you did your part. This is life. He came out on the other end stronger. Now it's your turn. Yeah, it's your turn. You're very lucky to legitimate stage. You have such an opportunity right now. You have the opportunity to spend time and get to know your kids. You have the opportunity to. Opportunity to use a peloton and work out with your husband. You have the opportunity to learn hobbies, and that can enrich your life. You have the opportunity to support your husband as he has supported you for these years. You may feel a little lost. All the devotion you gave to a company that not have the same loyalty in you. It's such a hard lesson to blow up on your ego. Grasp this opportunity of both hands. [01:07:37] Speaker B: See? Impostor syndrome. [01:07:38] Speaker A: I mean, here's the thing. Like, you know, my company right now is looking to get rid of me. [01:07:48] Speaker B: Yeah, they are. They're doing every single thing they can to push you out. [01:07:52] Speaker A: Well, no, like, corporatives. Like, they want to get rid of the overnights or getting rid of all the CDL trucks. [01:08:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:03] Speaker A: And they're. They're gonna fall flat on their face. It's gonna be hilarious to watch. I'm just watching, you know, what used to be, you know, $80,000 days per route, per day turn into, you know, $5,000. [01:08:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:23] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, oh, so now you're just losing money? [01:08:26] Speaker B: Yep. It's your own damn fault. [01:08:28] Speaker A: I don't care. I'm sure they're still making money somehow, but I've done the math, and I'm like, that hurts, you know, like, because, like, I know the prices that we pay, and for each truck we have, it's about $3,000. [01:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:08:53] Speaker A: A month. And it's like, like $3,600 a month for, like, my truck. And it's like, on top of that, you have to pay for diesel, and on top of that, you have to, you know, pay me. And then on top of that, you have to pay my insurance. [01:09:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:13] Speaker A: So, yeah, they. They're trying to, you know, push me out, and, you know, eventually I'll just jump to another job. Like, I'm gonna, you know, have everything ready. That way, you know, they try and do, like, the first little thing, I'm like, okay, goodbye. [01:09:32] Speaker B: Yep. [01:09:33] Speaker A: You know, have fun, you know, running this shit hole into the ground. [01:09:37] Speaker B: You can get your hazmat. You can go wherever the fuck you want. [01:09:40] Speaker A: I can go wherever the fuck I want right now. [01:09:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:45] Speaker A: But that's it happy Mother's Day to all you mothers. Hopefully, you're all having a great fucking day. Hopefully your kids called you or whatever the fuck. Um. I know by the time my mom hears this, she'll never hear this. [01:10:02] Speaker B: Like. [01:10:03] Speaker A: Like, let's get real. She will not ever fucking listen to a single one of these horseshit podcasts because she is busy doing other fucking things, like watching paint dry. [01:10:17] Speaker B: I mean, I also send her your stand up clips so she gets. [01:10:20] Speaker A: Do not send her my stand up clips. Holy. Holy shit. Now. [01:10:25] Speaker B: Yeah, all of them. [01:10:28] Speaker A: I'm gonna stop inviting you to my stand up. [01:10:31] Speaker B: Too late. [01:10:33] Speaker A: Oh, that's awful. Yeah. There's times I bomb my ass off, and I don't want that to get sent out. [01:10:40] Speaker B: I don't send her the bad ones, but anything above that level bad, she gets. [01:10:45] Speaker A: They're all bad. Every fucking one is bad. [01:10:48] Speaker B: Okay? Every now and again, you have a really good set. Most of the time, you have okay sets. And there's the bad sets. I sent her the okay and the really good one. [01:10:56] Speaker A: Oh, man, I have done so many bad sets. Like, last fucking Monday, I did such a bad set, I wasn't even there for it. Yeah, it's pretty great because it was indurango, but it was hilarious because I'm just like. I don't know. You know, I'm just like, I'm gonna get up on fucking stage and just say things, and I don't remember what the fuck I said. It was terrible. But thank you all so much for listening to all this dumb horseshit. If you're here, you're a legend. And if you're into rango on Mondays, come on out to the Starlight lounge. If you're there on Wednesdays, come on out to karaoke. You can listen to me sing. I was singing with this horrible, fucking shitty voice. It sucked. And every once in a while, I will be in Colorado Springs doing comedy when I can. I am fucking working my ass off right now. So I don't have a whole bunch of time to do comedy. And no one has a Saturday night show, so, you know, kind of tough shit people do. Like, go do a Sunday show. I can't. I don't have time. But happy Mother's Day. Fucking. And if you're married to a mother, you better be a motherfucker and give her that good dick. So bye, everybody. Bye.