Learning A Lesson

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We are back again. And, my God, is it hot. [00:00:10] Speaker B: It's delightful. [00:00:12] Speaker A: It's the most awful fucking time of the year. [00:00:14] Speaker B: I could not be happier. [00:00:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, you know, the cold, but the opposite of that, and it's just as bad. [00:00:26] Speaker B: I thought you liked the cold. [00:00:28] Speaker A: I mean, I do to a point. Like, when it. When it's, like, 60, like, when it. When it's, like, you know, like a nice temperature and I don't have to have the heater or the ac on it, is that perfect? Like, just. And I'm comfortable. Like. Like, when I'm comfortable with pants on, I'm like, this is a nice temperature. [00:00:53] Speaker B: When it's so hot, my sweat is literally dripping down my body in droplet. This means I am the opposite of cold. Being too sweaty means I'm not cold. Therefore, I love being too sweaty. [00:01:06] Speaker A: I mean. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Okay, no, no, no. One of my coworkers, I told her this, and she was like, yes, that is exactly right. Okay, so there are more people out there like me. I am not alone. [00:01:19] Speaker A: The worst people. [00:01:21] Speaker B: No, I am in my element. [00:01:27] Speaker A: Like, I. I. A few years ago, I had an idea, and it was buy a restaurant that has a walk in refrigerator and live there because I can have one of the rooms, just the walk in refrigerator, and that would be my room. Like, that would be dope, and, like, the room would be so cold that, like, I can just, like, put milk on a shelf and it's not gonna fucking, you know, go bad. I can just make up, boom, cool beers that are on the counter in my room, and the walk in fridge, boom, they're already cold. [00:02:11] Speaker B: Okay, I I do agree. That would be a benefit. [00:02:15] Speaker A: You know, like, nothing, like, ever goes bad. And you can cook in there and it's fine, but then it's like, oh, yeah, no, it's zoned for commercial. And you can't live in a restaurant. [00:02:30] Speaker B: You can't. Can't you, like, live above it? [00:02:33] Speaker A: Technically, but it has to be, like a yemenite rental property. It's weird. It's a weird zoning thing. Like, you can live in an old school, like, an hour away from here for $800,000 is a school. A giant school has fucking pool tables, foosball tables, a giant ass kitchen, and, you know, huge rooms, and you get an entire fucking school for $800,000. I'm like, that seems kind of cool. [00:03:15] Speaker B: How much was our house? [00:03:17] Speaker A: 302. [00:03:18] Speaker B: Is that more or less? [00:03:20] Speaker A: The school is way more. Yeah. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Okay. I wasn't quite sure where the decimal point was in the commas. [00:03:26] Speaker A: Yeah, it's almost a million. It's just a titch under a million dollars. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Thank you. That's much easier for my mind to grasp. [00:03:34] Speaker A: And, like, I was looking at it, I'm like, oh, man, that would be fun. But, you know, people are gonna rob it and start shooting it up because it is a school. And I'm like, ah, that's awful. But there's nothing in there to rob. There's nothing in there to steal. And then, like, I, like, did some more research on it, and I'm like, it's actually very fucking hard to, like, heat up an entire school. And it's very expensive if you want to heat up the entire school. So that that's probably why they all go out of fucking business. Like, is that a thing I. Can a school go out of business? [00:04:22] Speaker B: Okay. I don't. Okay, well, I thought private schools can run out of money. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Yes. Well, private schools can get sued to oblivion. [00:04:33] Speaker B: They can? [00:04:34] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. That's what happened to my old school. They got sued to oblivion because some kid was like, they abused us in there. I'm like, no, they showed you discipline in there. [00:04:48] Speaker B: It was borderline. It was borderline. [00:04:51] Speaker A: No, like, the kids in there were not good people if, like, you know, you see, like, a jail full of pedophiles and they tase them on a daily. I'm like, yeah, no, that's not abuse. But, you know, we were bad kids. All fucking went to juvie. All fucking. [00:05:08] Speaker B: You went to juvie? [00:05:09] Speaker A: No, but most of them went to juvie. Most of them are in gangs of most of them, you know, did some really heinous shit to get into that boarding school. And then, you know, one kid was like, they abused us. And then the parents are like, we're suing, you know, based on the kids word. And I really fucking hope those parents goddamn lost huge because fuck them. Yeah. Like, that boarding school wasn't, like, the greatest, but it didn't deserve that. But let's start off with the Olympics. The Olympics is, like, happening still. [00:05:55] Speaker B: The water team's competition is amazing. Oh, my God, I love watching those. [00:06:03] Speaker A: So apparently, like, Courtney, did your dad watch the Olympics? Oh, man, he would have had a field day with the opening. So apparently the opening of the Olympics was like a big drag. Drag queen fucking performance. I imagine every old boomer, you know, an extremely religious person, absolutely hated it. And I was here for it. I'm like, hell, yes. They had nicer beards. Than me. Nicer tits than me. Like, I wanted to be them. [00:06:53] Speaker B: Okay, nice was never an adjective for your tits. [00:06:58] Speaker A: Nicer. And, like, these are okay. They're okay tits. [00:07:04] Speaker B: They're okay. Sure. [00:07:07] Speaker A: I mean, like, what's wrong with my tits? [00:07:10] Speaker B: I mean, my tits are okay, and I'm not ashamed of that. [00:07:15] Speaker A: But, yeah, so, like, they did a rendition of the last Supper or some horseshit like that, and I'm like, yeah, go ahead and, you know, do your art, but come here, mo. Come on. Come on. Do you want up? Do you want pets? Okay. Okay. You can go fuck off, then. I don't know what you want. [00:07:43] Speaker B: She doesn't know what she wants. She wants attention. She wants. But she wants to be petted with your eyes. [00:07:50] Speaker A: It's like, pet me with your eyes. Good. But I, for one, love the fact that every, like, masculine dude that's like, yeah, I'm gonna watch the Olympics. It's gonna be great. I'm gonna fucking, you know, vote for my, you know, rowing team because I want, you know, America's rowing team to win or whatever the fuck they're, you know, doing. And then they see, like, drag queens. Like, ew, that's gay. It's like, dude, it's gay to, like, be, you know, cheering on a rowing team. But, you know, there's tits and beards. You know, it's like. [00:08:35] Speaker B: It is a good combo. I'm not going to. [00:08:36] Speaker A: It's a great fucking combo, everyone. But, like. Like, tits with a penis but, like, that. There is nothing wrong with that. [00:08:48] Speaker B: No, everyone likes tits. Tits are the best. That's why it's literally called the tits. [00:08:53] Speaker A: It's like, you know, tits and a bigger dick than mine. I'm like, oh, no, that. That's aggressive. Now I have to bite the pillow because I, like. I feel like that's how it would work. Like, if you run into, like, a. And you, like, meet up with, like, a transgender person and they have a bigger dick than you, it's like, they get to call the shots. [00:09:25] Speaker B: Of course they do. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Like, I feel like you just, like, pull it out. It's like, all right, draw. And, like, you. You know, you both pull out your penises, and, like, whoever's hits, like, the others, like, balls first, like, wins, like. [00:09:40] Speaker B: The dicks on the car in idiocracy. [00:09:44] Speaker A: Yeah, but, like. Like, they just think like this and, like, you know, aim for each other's balls, like a jousting tournament. And, like, whoever, like, hits the balls first, like, wins, and it's like, all right, like, the fucking jousting, fucking penis snails. [00:10:02] Speaker B: You would do that? [00:10:03] Speaker A: The penis worms. [00:10:04] Speaker B: You would pull your penis out to compare to other men? [00:10:07] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. [00:10:09] Speaker B: So are we talking, like, hard dick or soft hard dick? Okay. [00:10:14] Speaker A: Yeah, you. You need to, like, get that shit at full mast, you know? Show me what you got. Absolutely, show me what you got. [00:10:23] Speaker B: And this is not gay because Otis. [00:10:26] Speaker A: Okay, this is fine. Like, of all the men, you know, I'm probably the gayest. [00:10:40] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I've worked with gay men at my job. [00:10:44] Speaker A: Yeah, but how many of them, like, fucking talk about, you know, dick jousting? [00:10:49] Speaker B: I mean, we all talk about dick jokes. [00:10:52] Speaker A: No dick jousting. [00:10:53] Speaker B: What's the difference? Okay. [00:10:58] Speaker A: I feel, like, true. You know, gay men, like, have a level of class that allow them to, like, put dicks up on a pedestal and they're like, you know, like, how? Like, you know, like, fucking weak. Straight men, like, respect women too much, and they, like, put women up on a pedestal and, like, I can't talk to her, you know? So, like, you know, gay men are just like, he's just too beautiful. I'm gonna walk away. I can go up to any man whatsoever and beg, hey, sweet cheeks. And flirt with him effortlessly. [00:11:35] Speaker B: You never call me sweet cheeks. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Do you want me to call you sweet cheeks? [00:11:39] Speaker B: Yes. [00:11:40] Speaker A: All right, sweet cheeks. [00:11:41] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:11:46] Speaker A: But, like, because I'm, like, in that halfway point where I'm, like, I'm not intimidated by men. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Why should you be intimidated by, like. [00:11:59] Speaker A: You know, beautiful gay men? [00:12:01] Speaker B: Why should you be intimidated? [00:12:03] Speaker A: I mean, there are a few out there. There are a few, like, gay men that I'm like, oh, man, he's. He's next level fucking gay, and I can't talk to him. He's gonna, you know, find out my secrets. Like, Mateo Lane. I know you don't know who that is. He's a fucking comedian, but he's beautiful and fucking jacked and very gay. [00:12:30] Speaker B: I saw this gay couple in freakin Safeway, and their makeup was, like, on point, and they were, like, matchy with, like, their eyeshadow, and it was like, oh, my God, you guys are so, so cute. I'm never gonna be able to wear makeup that pretty, but it was cute. [00:12:47] Speaker A: Was it a lesbian couple? [00:12:48] Speaker B: No, it was two dudes. [00:12:50] Speaker A: That's even better. [00:12:52] Speaker B: I know. Like, their beards were nice, their eyeliner. Oh, my God, they were fucking beautiful. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Like. Like, back when I stayed in Cortez, like, one of the girls that worked there, her dad was very gay and a huge, like, diva. And I loved him. He would come out, and we would hit it off like two old gals, and I would hit on her dad, like, in front of her, and it made her so uncomfortable, and she's like, can you please stop hitting on my dad? And, you know, her dad had, like, a coach purse, and he was, like, showing me, like, how, like, nice it is. And, like, you know, the utility of the purse. I'm like, you know what? That's not terrible. I see the fucking appeal. [00:13:54] Speaker B: Yeah, coach is nice. [00:13:56] Speaker A: Well, like, just have a purse. Like, you know, he had one for him, and then he had one for his daughter. You know, he's not a gold star gay, but, you know, he got divorced and lived his true life. [00:14:13] Speaker B: I want a coach purse. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Well, then you're gonna have to wait for my mom to die, and then you can have hers. [00:14:21] Speaker B: No, I'm gonna get my own coach purse one day. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Now my mom is gonna burn it with her body. She's probably listening to this, and she's like, I'm gonna burn that fucking purse. I. Like, I want a viking funeral. Fucking put that on my tits. [00:14:37] Speaker B: That'd be so cool. If your mom wants to do a viking funeral, I'm so here for it. [00:14:42] Speaker A: It's gonna be hilarious because I'm just gonna, you know, have, like, a bow and arrow and, like, nah, put it down, pull up a shotgun with, like, fucking dragon's breath, and just, you know, fucking fire out that. [00:14:55] Speaker B: That's just as cool. [00:14:56] Speaker A: I know. I believe dragon's breath is now illegal because it's fucking. Just fire that shoots out of a shotgun, and it creates fucking crazy fires everywhere. [00:15:08] Speaker B: So what's the difference between that? Flamethrower. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Flamethrowers are also illegal. [00:15:15] Speaker B: What was the difference between that. The dragon. Whatever. [00:15:18] Speaker A: The dragon breath? [00:15:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:19] Speaker A: It's a shotgun show around. I mean. [00:15:22] Speaker B: Okay, so. [00:15:26] Speaker A: You'Re right over there, Courtney. That's fine. [00:15:32] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:15:34] Speaker A: We started late today. [00:15:37] Speaker B: All right. [00:15:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:51] Speaker B: With ground beef. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yeah. It's Hormel chili. [00:15:56] Speaker B: It's what? [00:15:57] Speaker A: Hormel chili. [00:16:02] Speaker B: They're different beans. Right. What type of bean is a baked bean? Okay. Well, no. What type of bean is it? I'm assuming it's not a pinto bean. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Is there, like, more beans than one? [00:16:18] Speaker B: Yeah, there's kidney beans. There's pinto, there's. I'm. [00:16:23] Speaker A: There's a brown bean that just. It's like, the. [00:16:27] Speaker B: That one. [00:16:28] Speaker A: That's a pea. It's not a bean, but, yeah, I mean, it, like, just putting. You know, it's a chili. You made a chili. And that, that, that. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, that sounds actually pretty fucking good. We should like, you know, you navy beans. We just need to get a slow cooker. [00:16:57] Speaker B: We have a slow cooker. [00:16:59] Speaker A: We have a fucking nice, like, crock pot. Fucking slow cooker. You know, pressure cooker. It's a pressure cooker there, but it. [00:17:07] Speaker B: Can be used as a crock pot. I've done it before. I always use it as a crock pot with pork. I don't use the pressure cooker with pork. It doesn't taste as good. [00:17:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Now, like, I want to, you know, be able to, like Friday night or. No, Thursday night, like, after, you know, like as I'm getting ready to go to bed, put some shit in there and turn it on and just boom. And then go to bed, wake up in the morning, you know, stir it a bit, take off for work, you know, drive to work, come back, and then fucking dinner is ready. [00:17:47] Speaker B: So what's a slow cooker then? Cuz I don't think I understand what we're talking about. [00:17:52] Speaker A: Like, it just has like a little dial. It's like low, medium fucking. Hi. [00:17:58] Speaker B: Yeah, our crock pot does that. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah. As buttons, though. [00:18:02] Speaker B: So you want the little switchy thing? [00:18:03] Speaker A: No, I want the little swishy thing. Like the little fucking sauce cooler or the little sauce heater that you have. [00:18:09] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:18:10] Speaker A: Like that but bigger. [00:18:11] Speaker B: That thing's so cute. I literally bought it because it was cute. [00:18:16] Speaker A: I might, I might just go to. [00:18:17] Speaker B: Goodwill and then I want to go to goodwill. I can go looking for more artwork for my living room. Our living room. [00:18:26] Speaker A: She's like my living room. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Okay. My living room design. [00:18:32] Speaker A: In all honesty, the living room has become my wife's living room. Like, she has taken over and made it for the cats and comfortable. [00:18:44] Speaker B: I am no longer trapped in my room. I can leave my room whenever I want. I am not locked in. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Nope, you're not. [00:18:51] Speaker B: I feel better when I spend more time outside the room now. [00:18:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Enjoy the house. [00:18:55] Speaker B: I feel more comfortable in the living room. It's very good. [00:19:00] Speaker A: And huge news coming from the trucking community. I have found out a new law which I didn't know existed for eight years. And I got a ticket for this horseshit. And this was such a horseshit ticket to get that my company is agreeing to pay for the ticket. Like, it should fall entirely on me, and the company would be entirely on the. In the right to not pay for this ticket. The company agreed that it was a horseshit ticket. [00:19:38] Speaker B: That's so nice. [00:19:40] Speaker A: And they're like, hey, we're gonna fucking, you know, take care of that for you. So apparently, and I know this isn't gonna fucking matter to goddamn anyone that's not a fucking truck driver. But, you know, here it is. If you come within 5 miles of a way station or an inspection station or a port of entry, which are like those little fucking, you know, all trucks must, you know, exit here, you know, and the little open closed marquees that you see all over the fucking state, if you come within 5 miles of it, even if you're not going past it, you have to then go seek it out and then go into the fucking port of entry to go get inspected. And honestly, I think it's just some fucking dumb ass cop, you know, wanting to, you know, prove his chops. [00:20:36] Speaker B: You know, he's just on a fucking. [00:20:37] Speaker A: Paratrip and oh my God, I cannot wait. I cannot wait till that guy gets fired. Cuz he's gonna cause fucking little snitchy bitches like that fucking make enemies quick. And it's like, oh, you want to make an enemy of the entire state of Cortez or the entire city of Cortez? Guess what? Now everyone that fucking knows you and knows dirt on you, they are going to immediately fucking report you. Because if they don't, then guess what? You are going to fucking, you know, shut down the entire city because trucks don't want to come in. [00:21:20] Speaker B: And that was the cop, right? It wasn't like highway patrol. [00:21:23] Speaker A: That was state patrol. A trooper that fucking did this shit and fucking dot in fucking, you know, conjunction with, you know, Department of Transportation. [00:21:34] Speaker B: So what's the difference between a highway cop and a state trooper? [00:21:38] Speaker A: No, we only have state trooper. We have, you know, local police, sheriffs, and state police. State troopers. So are there highway police, the state troopers? Oh, that's who that is. [00:21:53] Speaker B: Okay. I thought there were two separate entities. [00:21:56] Speaker A: No, and then we also have, you know, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Bia. But, you know, they're their own fucking thing. They're like, hey, Indians, you're not allowed to have alcohol here. You know, you're still in prohibition. And then they make them pour out their alcohol. [00:22:15] Speaker B: That's bullshit. [00:22:18] Speaker A: And then they fucking come. Well, I mean, it is what it is. And then they come into fucking town, get fucking wasted at a city market, and then, you know, when city market calls the cops on them because they're like, in the bathroom stealing alcohol, you know, they go running across the street and get hit by a fucking car. It's a fucking nightmare. So I'm hoping that fucking. A whole bunch of shit comes down the pipeline, and they're like, oh, you don't actually have to do that anymore. We are sorry. We were in the wrong there. You know? I'm like, I want a handwritten apology like that. That's what I want. A handwritten apology from this fucking dude. I mo. But that. That's the first thing I've fucking learned in, like, I'd say, five years of fucking being a truck driver. Speaking of trucks, I am buying a new fucking truck. Well, not new. I'm buying an older fucking forerunner, because my car got shot, and it doesn't run. My wife seems to think that my car doesn't run. It doesn't run. Why do you think it doesn't run? Cause you told me it runs. [00:23:41] Speaker B: You told me it was dead. And you told me you done all this stuff, and it still didn't work. So you weren't sure what to do next. Those were your words. You told me your car was dead. [00:23:52] Speaker A: I have to go jump the battery. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:23:55] Speaker A: Because the car hasn't been on in two weeks, and the alarm car hasn't. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Been on in a couple months. [00:24:02] Speaker A: What are you talking about? [00:24:03] Speaker B: When's the last time you tried to turn it on? [00:24:06] Speaker A: I fucking took it to work right before vacation. The Monday before we left, I took it to work. [00:24:12] Speaker B: I thought you could. You said you couldn't drive it because there were bolt holes in the windshield. [00:24:16] Speaker A: The bullet holes happened on Wednesday before our vacation or on Thursday before our vacation, like, right before we fucking left. The Monday that I was going out, I took the car, I drove it back. Fucking. And then took the bike the next day. That's how I got a lot of the shit out of my truck, because I was gonna be gone for two weeks. My wife, you know, has this weird fantasy that my car doesn't work. The battery is dead. That is it. The battery is dead. The car runs. Babe. Babe, your fucking battery died. Remember when you came to me and beg, my car doesn't work, and then I replaced your battery for you? No, I did that. And you cried your eyes out. [00:25:21] Speaker B: I did. [00:25:22] Speaker A: Yes, because your car wouldn't start. You went out to your car. Nothing's happening. The car won't turn on. The car doesn't do anything. And I'm like, I didn't fucking tell you to get rid of your cardinal. [00:25:37] Speaker B: I have no memory of this. [00:25:39] Speaker A: This was back at Pyros. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Okay, then. Yeah. You know, I don't have memory of this. [00:25:44] Speaker A: This happened. This is a true thing that's fucking happened. [00:25:46] Speaker B: I don't doubt you. [00:25:50] Speaker A: I think I broke the car. And I'm like, okay. And I come out and I'm like, oh, the battery is probably dead. And so I go out and test the fucking battery. I'm like, yep, sure enough, it's fucking dead. And then I had to go out and buy a 300 fucking dollar battery for you. [00:26:07] Speaker B: It costs that much? [00:26:08] Speaker A: That much. And there was only one in the entire area. Well, one in a. Yeah. To go hunt for it in my working fucking car. [00:26:21] Speaker B: Thank you so much. [00:26:25] Speaker A: This is my. This is my Honda. [00:26:34] Speaker B: Little sedan thingy. [00:26:37] Speaker A: It's a little Honda Accord. Yeah, but it's a 98, so it's like, fucking 26 years old. Still runs like a chance. It's a Honda. It's never gonna die. Like, I don't know, like, why my wife. My wife's like, you need to just sell it. Get rid of it. I'm like, I don't want to it. It's a good working vehicle. It's an easy to work on vehicle that will never fucking die. Yeah, like, if my wife needs a new fucking battery for her car, like a new hybrid battery, that's $3,000. [00:27:33] Speaker B: So when is my battery going to run out? [00:27:36] Speaker A: I don't know. Whenever it fucking stops recharging. [00:27:39] Speaker B: Oh. [00:27:43] Speaker A: So, like, should you get rid of Sheila at that point? [00:27:46] Speaker B: I mean, at the battery is $3,000. [00:27:50] Speaker A: Your car can. Well, her the. Okay, so she has two batteries in her car. She has a hybrid battery, which is a high voltage battery that, you know, makes it hybrid. You know, that. That's the whole fucking point. And then the fucking main twelve volt battery that just is like, hey, this turns on the fucking car and, you know, starts the starter and all that shit. So the twelve volt battery. So, like, the main battery will charge that twelve volt battery and keep that good. But when that, you know, the big giant fucking hybrid battery dies, then you're kind of shit out of luck. [00:28:34] Speaker B: Hmm. So maybe I'll get. Maybe I should get my jeep then. Maybe you might find a jeep cheaper than the battery. [00:28:43] Speaker A: I definitely will. [00:28:44] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:46] Speaker A: But. But you'll like, you know, take you to work one time, come back and make the car doesn't start anymore. I'm like, I guess you're gonna have to just sell it and get rid of it. And then, you know, you're gonna find out really quick that no one wants to buy a jeep. [00:29:01] Speaker B: Intermittent car should be fully electric. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Why? [00:29:06] Speaker B: Because I care about my carbon footprint. [00:29:14] Speaker A: They are wildly worse. It is like slave labor to mine the cobalt. [00:29:41] Speaker B: Well, that's depressing to find out. Okay. Yeah, this is. This is not good news. [00:29:50] Speaker A: I feel that's why hybrid cars are the real way to fucking go, which. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Is why I have a hybrid cardinal. [00:29:58] Speaker A: You know, like, you know, 50 miles to the gallon is fucking amazing. [00:30:07] Speaker B: It was great driving it to California and back. [00:30:11] Speaker A: Like, if we were to take my truck, we'd have to pay four times as much in gas. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Yeah, it was great for the drive. [00:30:24] Speaker A: But, you know, you have a little bit more room. Then you're able to tow shit, and you're able to go on, like, off road adventures. [00:30:38] Speaker B: I still want to snorkel. [00:30:41] Speaker A: So the truck that I'm buying, it's lifted. It has a snorkel. It has a whole bunch of fucking, you know, neat shit, dope. Like. Like, they fucking, you know, kind of did it good. It looks nice. I'm gonna go fucking check it out tomorrow, like, in person. And if it all fucking works out, then I'm gonna go pull 7000 and then give them the money on Tuesday or Thursday or next weekend or whatever. So I don't know. Like, I could get there and it could just, you know, smell like a fucking ashtray and, like, wet dog inside. I'm like, no, no. Like it. Like, there's. There's people that are like, they'll fucking ruin the interior of their car, you know, chain smoke inside and let their fucking dirty dogs and dirty animals all in there. And it's like, okay, yeah, just take this and fucking get it scrapped. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah. If you have to reupholster the car, it's definitely not worth it. [00:31:54] Speaker A: I mean, it. Like, if he's willing to, you know, go $1,500 lower, I would overlook a bunch of fucking awful shit. [00:32:05] Speaker B: Right? [00:32:06] Speaker A: But, you know, I've already seen what the inside looks like. It looks pretty good. Leather seats, so. Oh, my God, I'm getting old. Like, and my chair is, like, falling apart slowly. Like, I bought this chinese knockoff chair GT player. So if you ever see those on Amazon, do not get them. They're not worth it. I mean, it was the cheapest gaming chair I could possibly find. I think it was, like, $70. [00:32:53] Speaker B: Like, the chair can't even sit upright. The arms are broken. [00:32:56] Speaker A: Well, the arms are broken. The fucking bottom of it has, like, buckled. Because it's just a bunch of, like, aluminum plates that, like, you know, are all kind of stacked, but they're, like, all spread out. And so like they each buckled individually and so now it's just leaning over. So yeah, this one will probably get tossed, which is sad. Like I might just reach out to the company and back, yo, what the fuck is up? [00:33:24] Speaker B: How long ago did you buy that chair? [00:33:27] Speaker A: It has a one year warranty. [00:33:29] Speaker B: How long ago did you buy it? [00:33:30] Speaker A: October. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Then yeah, you should totes reach out, be like, yo, this shit broke. [00:33:41] Speaker A: Mochi, stop, stop. You just stop touching it. Everything, everything. She's a little asshole. I can't because like I have like fans running because it's like a million and six degrees. Like, I don't know, like it was raining for like a week and it was like perfect temperature. I'm like, oh, this is wonderful. Like it would fucking do a torrential downpour every day and get it down to like 60 and I'm like, oh, cool, I can sleep at night. And then, you know, I could just. This week is just like, oh, hey, it's gonna be 90 all week long or a hundred. And I'm like, why the fuck is this a thing? Like choose a temperature, stick with it. [00:34:34] Speaker B: I like low key feel good because I shaved chai tea cuz he was so hot with all his fluff and then it was cold and I felt super bad. But now it's back to being super hot and he is so much more comfortable than he was before the shaves. Now I feel good about shaving him and he looks tight. Used to be a professional groomer for nothing. [00:34:55] Speaker A: So onto some fucking news stories now that I'm done, you know, talking about my truck and all that bullshit. So apparently there's now cocaine sharks, which is gonna be such a fucking great sequel to cocaine bear. Like, and amazingly it's not in Florida. Like I thought for sure. I'm like, this is in Florida 100%. Nope. It's swimming off the coast of Brazil. [00:35:27] Speaker B: Yeah, because of all the white lobsters. [00:35:30] Speaker A: What? [00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah, so when like boats who are like trying to trap with cocaine, if they get hot, chopped, if they get caught, they like throw the cocaine overboard and they're in like little like packets. And so if you find it, they're called white lobsters. [00:35:47] Speaker A: They're called white lobsters. [00:35:48] Speaker B: Yeah. That's what Jeremy Wade said. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Don't. If you see a fucking cocaine packet in the ocean, leave it the fuck alone. It's bad news bears if the fucking law enforcement catches you with it. It's even worse if the fucking people that made it caught you with it. [00:36:10] Speaker B: You can't just like give it back. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Why would they let you live? [00:36:18] Speaker B: I don't understand why you need to die. You just give it back, right? [00:36:22] Speaker A: Give it back to who? [00:36:23] Speaker B: The people who made the cocaine, who came after you for the cocaine. [00:36:27] Speaker A: If they're coming after you, they're gonna kill you. These are not nice. This is why white people die. [00:36:34] Speaker B: In every horror movie, white people need to die more. [00:36:37] Speaker A: Every fucking horror movie, they're like, can't you just give back the cocaine? [00:36:42] Speaker B: My white guilt runs deep. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Guilty for what? Finding cocaine? [00:36:49] Speaker B: No, just for being white in the first place. [00:36:52] Speaker A: Oh, my God. But no one has ever studied the behavioral or psychological impacts of cocaine in sharks. This is something that should be studied. Like, I'm. I'm curious now. Like, if you gave cocaine to a shark and then, you know, like, released some blood in the water, would it go into a feeding frenzy or would the cocaine just be enough? As someone that has obviously never done cocaine, you. So when you do cocaine, you're not hungry. Like, you lose your appetite entirely. So you're just sitting there like, oh, yeah, no, this is fine. This is all good. This is all dandy. I'm not hungry at all. Like, there's a movie called role models where, like, two. Two guys, you know, get in trouble for fucking going all crazy and acting damn fools. And they have to go be role models at a fucking, like. Like a father. Like. Like a role model fucking place. So that, you know, they have to be bigs to the littles, which is just weird. But that, you know, and the counselor, the main chick running it, she's like, I used to be a coke addict. You know, when I would wake up in the morning, you know what I had for breakfast? Cocaine. You know what I had for lunch? Cocaine. You know what I had for dinner? Was it cocaine? I like how my wife's, like, not even paying attention to me. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Okay, I'm googling. I'm reading this study released by the National Health Library of Medicine about the paradox of fat people using cocaine that fucks with their non ischemic cardiomyopathy. [00:39:06] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, thank you. [00:39:09] Speaker B: I also don't know, which is why I'm reading it. [00:39:11] Speaker A: I like how she's just saying words. [00:39:14] Speaker B: I am reading the words. [00:39:16] Speaker A: Okay, yes, there's fat coke addicts. Of course there is. You know, sometimes you need. I mean, sometimes, like, I have met fucking fatty is there just like, you know, yeah, I fucking do coke. But they also, like, smoke a shit ton of weed and then fucking get the munchies and, oh, yeah, it could go either way. I mean, it. It's not because, like, the coke makes you skinny. It's. The coke makes you not want to eat. But so I'm excited for this. I'm excited to see, you know, like a, you know, fucked up shark that's just, like, angry. And it's, like, once, like, you know, like a jaws shark. It's not out here to fucking, you know, eat humans. It's just out there to kill humans. I'm kind of down for it, honestly. [00:40:30] Speaker B: But to be more attracted to prey that had cocaine in themselves, like, would they be able to sense it? [00:40:37] Speaker A: No. [00:40:40] Speaker B: Well, if there's cocaine in the large predators, there's cocaine. And all the food. And all the food, all the animals below it in the fucking food circle are also infected with cocaine because the big predator eats the smaller animals, who eats a smaller animal, which is a smaller animal. So somewhere in a smaller animal lineup is where the cocaine was introduced. [00:41:07] Speaker A: Yeah. A 2007 study in Florida found that bull sharks have been contaminated with prescription medications via failed sewage systems. Yeah. And then the fish are also contaminated with drugs. [00:41:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:24] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, fucking whatever. Let them have their fucking drugs or stop doing fucking cocaine. It doesn't matter. And then back to the Olympics. An australian hockey star amputates his finger to play at the Olympics, which is the most australian shit I have ever fucking heard. So apparently this dude. Let's see what his fucking name, Matt Dawson, broke his finger really fucking bad. Like, he passed out from pain because he's like, I broke my finger. Oh, mate. And he's like, talking to his plastic surgeon. Be like, dude, you need to fix it. That way I can play in the Olympics. And the doctor's like, dude, it's gonna, like, take, like, a couple months for your finger to recover. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:23] Speaker A: If it does, it's like. Or we can amputate it. And you're back on the field in ten days. And his wife's like, don't do anything rash. And he, like, takes out his own bowie knife and chops it off. He's like, ah, we're good. Like, sticks his finger in the fire to cauterize the wound. [00:42:41] Speaker B: He's like, which finger was it? [00:42:44] Speaker A: Um, a digit on his right hand, um, during training in Perth two weeks ago. [00:42:51] Speaker B: So not the thumb, because that's important. [00:42:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it's probably not the thumb. It's probably like one of the. Just like a pinky or something. Um, but, yeah, they don't say what the finger was. Just says, you know, the 30 year old decided to have the finger removed from the knuckle up in order to take place in his third games. [00:43:18] Speaker B: You know what? I respect this, which is, like, the. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Most hardcore fucking shit you can do. I entirely love it. He gave his finger to the game. [00:43:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:43:35] Speaker A: And, yeah, I mean, you don't need all your fingers. What was that? [00:43:40] Speaker B: I don't know when to go find out. [00:43:44] Speaker A: Probably one of the cats doing something they're not supposed to do. Probably knocking books off your table. Oh, no, my wife's not back. She's probably dead. Dead? Getting murdered right now while I have soundproof headphones on. She's probably screaming my name. Babe, babe, come here. [00:44:11] Speaker B: I don't know what it was. I just wanted to make sure the fish tank was fine. [00:44:15] Speaker A: No, of course it is. [00:44:16] Speaker B: And the front door hadn't gone. Fallen open. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Fallen open. [00:44:21] Speaker B: I don't know. Whatever. If it had been opened. [00:44:24] Speaker A: Blown open. Yeah, but, yeah, no, I could just. To play fucking hockey in the Olympics. And no one's gonna remember this guy too, like that. That's the bitch of it. No one's gonna remember Matt Dawson here in, like, three months. No one's gonna give a shit. Even though I'm talking about him right now. You know, a man that fucking made a sacrifice to play in Olympics, it's like, all you have to really, like. Like, I want to know what it takes to get into the Olympics. I want to know if, like, I can get, you know, good at some weird shit and just be like, yeah, I'm really good at, like, wiggling my butt or something. And it's like, yeah, we got the butt wiggling Olympics. Like, I feel like they just have everything. They have archery. They have. I'm sure, guns. [00:45:28] Speaker B: Yeah. That's the whole point of it. [00:45:30] Speaker A: Like, all right. We're all, you know, oh, America fucking came in first for, you know, dudes that can do the worm. It's like, I want, you know, just like, the most simple Olympics. Like, the hardest course shit, you know, just do a marathon running, swimming, biking, and jumping. [00:45:54] Speaker B: I don't know why, but that. What you said reminded me of fruit salad from the wiggles. [00:45:59] Speaker A: Yeah, wiggling your butt, you know? But, yeah, this guy is. [00:46:08] Speaker B: Isn't it called eating salad when you. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Eat ass tossing salad? [00:46:13] Speaker B: Oh, well. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Tossing salad is what it's called when, like, yo, I'm gonna toss your salad, and then you just. I don't know why it's called that. And frankly, I don't care. Fucking, you know, when you're locked up for the rest of your life, you have to get creative. And if you don't have women in there, you know, you're like, oh, well, let's fucking ex. You know, explore. Obviously, I'm never gonna get pussy again, so let's see what this dick's all about. Yeah. Oh, this fucking dude right here can fucking lick my butt hole good. Hell, yeah. On to the next story, though. A nebraska teen has been accused of derailing a train, recording the crash and posting it online. Um, that. There's been a video that's been, you know, out for a little bit. Um, there's like, a, you know, fucking, like, a coal cart on the tracks. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:47:25] Speaker A: You know, around, like, kind of a blind corner, and a train comes up and sees it at the last second. This, you know, cart's not supposed to be there and crashes into it and, like, derails the entire fucking train. [00:47:39] Speaker B: How long was the train, like, one of those super long ones, probably carrying. [00:47:46] Speaker A: Coal, but it was $350,000 in damage. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. No shit. [00:47:57] Speaker A: And I can almost guarantee you this dude fucking pushed this, you know, car onto the path of the, you know, railway and recorded it just to, you know, find the, you know, get some shit popping. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that. What an idiot. What an idiot. [00:48:21] Speaker A: But, you know, he does have a video of the incident, which. [00:48:26] Speaker B: It's still. [00:48:27] Speaker A: Ah, yeah, it's. It's a still. [00:48:29] Speaker B: Fuck, yeah. [00:48:30] Speaker A: Still up. Of course it's still up. [00:48:32] Speaker B: Wow. [00:48:35] Speaker A: Let's share this. So, unfortunately, like, it goes, like. He, like, pushes it back, but the train's coming from over here. You know, this guy's like, fuck, I have to stop for these damn railroads. And he's hating life. And so comes up and hits this, and he, like, tries to break. [00:49:29] Speaker B: What the fuck did this dude think was gonna happen? [00:49:34] Speaker A: You can see him fucking breaking hard. Yeah, though. And, like, the back end of the train, I guess, derailed. No, it's just like a. You can see it right here. [00:49:58] Speaker B: He's saying, like, he wasn't the one who did it. What a piece of shit. [00:50:14] Speaker A: It recorded it? Yeah. [00:50:16] Speaker B: Like, and he's, like, making it sound like someone else did it. [00:50:34] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the kids getting charged with it. So, like, if. Oh, I guess they didn't lay it over. Well, they did kind of. Yeah, came off the fucking tracks. [00:50:48] Speaker B: What an idiot. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Tough fuck. You know, BNSF, because I will be, you know, going on my route, and, you know, they operate out here. They will stop in the middle of a fucking town and back up and go forward and back for a half an hour. Like, they'll get the entire train through, and I'm like, oh, cool. Last three carts, and then they'll fucking slow down, and the last three will still be on the track in front of me, fucking effectively blocking the road. And then they'll start backing up. I'm like, there's nothing here. There's not. There's not a fucking, you know, a yard or anything. It's just like a fucking, you know, cross. And they're just a bunch of dumb dickheads that, you know, could fucking stop, you know, out in the middle of nowhere where there's no one a fucking round. But no, they want to, like, we're gonna stop in the middle of town so we can check all our shit. [00:52:01] Speaker B: Aren't they, like, offloading and stuff? [00:52:03] Speaker A: Nope. It's cold through the power plant. That's, like, you know, further towards, like, pueblo. Like that. That's what it's going to. They're a bunch of assholes. And honestly, I don't care. But, yeah, I mean, I kind of hope that this kid gets to go free, because, like, there's. There's no real proof that he did it. [00:52:36] Speaker B: Wait, so this is not the first video he's posted of trains crashing? [00:52:41] Speaker A: No, he's. He's had a bunch of videos of trains, so, you know, it's just like, you know, random fucking. You know, trains just going through, not necessarily crashing, just, you know, fucking. Hey, I'm autistic, and I like trains. [00:53:12] Speaker B: I swear to God, if he pulls that and the court takes it. [00:53:17] Speaker A: You know, Union Pacific, they're pretty respectful. But, like. Like, there's that one dude that fucking has, like, that head cam, and he's like, oh, I found my truck. It's dick, my butt. Have you ever seen that video? [00:53:34] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:53:36] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I have to. Let me share this one. This is a fucking. He gets excited about trains. Yeah, it's fucking wonderful. The first time I saw that video, I'm like, that. That's great. I don't know who fucking made that train, but they're. They're wonderful people. Oh, shit. We actually, like, fucking blown through, like, the hour. Now on to am I the asshole by adorable distance, 15:00 a.m. i the asshole for ordering pizza at my friend's wedding because there is no food. Me and my wife were invited to my friend's wedding. The wedding was going to have about 70 people with mostly family. When we got there, we were seated at a table with some other people, nice people, and we mingled well and had a good time chatting. The wedding was also nice. Both my friend and his new wife were very happy. After the ceremony. Every table got two bottles of wine, bread and butter and there was also an open bar. We started to have a few drinks, then the food came out. It looked really good but the food was set up for buffet. I was half buzzed and looking forward to getting some food in my belly when it was time to eat. Every few tables were every few tables at a time were going to get called, which is fine. The first few tables were called and were understandably families on both sides. The rest were the problem was that the family members his in laws are larger people. I don't shame people for how much they eat, but I noticed the helpings of food that they had gotten while I patiently waited for us to be called. I also noticed they went for seconds before all the tables were called. No one stopped them. I didn't say anything though, I just thought it was rude. I just assumed that there was a lot of food. To my surprise, when we were called there was nothing left. I asked if there was more coming out. Apparently that had already occurred, so we grabbed what little we could and went to sit back down and ate the scraps. We were still all pretty hungry and a bit pissed off so we kinda bash talked for the first few minutes. As the first few tables ate all the food, someone mentioned that they could go for pizza when I had the drunken idea of ordering some. Lol. So that's what we did. We all pitched in and ordered four large pizzas, some chicken wings from a local pizza joint close to the venue so it didn't take long to be delivered. I met the dude outside and brought the food to our table. When we started to eat, some of the other tables noticed and asked where the pizza had come from. Apparently some of the other tables close to ours didn't get food either, so we shared with them. This caused some commotion and the other people were looking for and asked the wedding party if there is pizza available. I guess the others didn't get to eat either. We did share with anyone who asked us. My friend came to talk about why I ordered food. His bride was not happy about it, it ruined the aesthetics. So he told them that we didn't get to eat and the food ran out long before our table was called and we were really hungry. So he then asked why I didn't just step out, eat and then come back. Though real annoyed about that. I respectfully explained and said they were all drinking on an empty stomach and it probably wasn't the best idea to have drunk people walking around looking for food. I don't think he liked that. And he went back to his bride, who was glaring at us like, what were we supposed to do, starve? This wasn't the end, though. As we were finished eating, one of the in laws came to our table and asked us where the pizza came from. This is where I maybe am the asshole. There were two slices left, and I knew he was eyeing them. I asked the other people at my table if they wanted one. Everyone declined. This guy said he'd have one. I took. I then took one of the two slices and put them on our plate. I started to eat them. Everyone looked at him, saying something like, no, you and everyone at your table had way more than your fair share of the buffet and ate all of it. This is the reason why we ordered food in the first place. And now you have the nerve to ask us to share? His face went red, and they returned to his table. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was a lot of discussion going on. He was mad. The bride looked even more ticked. He called a few days later. I talked about my perspective. So is this guy an asshole for ordering food at a fucking wedding? Essentially. And the. All the in laws got to eat first, and they're big, fat fucking pieces of shit that ate the entire goddamn buffet. [00:59:42] Speaker B: Of course he's not. [00:59:49] Speaker A: Like, you should have, like, gone up, you know, and just, like, I gone to everybody and like, hey, we're ordering pizza because he's fat fucking pieces of shit. Decided to eat everything. And the bride and groom decided not to fucking get enough food to feed everybody. Like, when we had our fucking little wedding thing, we had enough food for it. Did we have enough food for everybody? [01:00:14] Speaker B: Well, yeah, we rented out a restaurant. Like, I paid for a restaurant. [01:00:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:18] Speaker B: Like, we had the place to ourselves. And I played. I paid for a three course meal. And, yeah, everyone had enough food, so. [01:00:26] Speaker A: Yes, everyone had food. Everyone had wine. [01:00:28] Speaker B: But we also had a party of, like, 19 people. [01:00:32] Speaker A: You know, that's just what it is. If you're gonna invite 70 fucking people. Have enough food for 70 fucking people. Don't go to fucking eldest. [01:00:53] Speaker B: Oh, no. So the bride has also sided with op, and she was also. She also bitched out her family for ruining her special day. So everyone's on op side. Yeah. [01:01:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Cause it ruined the aesthetic. [01:01:11] Speaker B: But she found out what happened, and she came around. [01:01:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, I would fucking, you know, make the in laws fucking pay for the pizza. [01:01:22] Speaker B: I mean, they paid for the. They paid for the food, though, according to that. [01:01:28] Speaker A: Well, the bride and groom paid for the food and the in laws just fucking came through and ate everything. [01:01:35] Speaker B: No, it says because the in laws paid for the alcohol and the food, they felt they were entitled to eat what they want. So. Yeah. Yeah. No, it doesn't. Yeah, no, it's rude. [01:02:02] Speaker A: So I would say the fucking in laws, the assholes, and, you know, ordering pizza at a wedding, fucking pro move. [01:02:11] Speaker B: Pizza is delicious. [01:02:13] Speaker A: Well, like, I have some friends that are doing like, renewal vows here. Coming up next year. It's gonna be like a cosplay wedding. So yeah, we're going. [01:02:30] Speaker B: Of course we're going. [01:02:31] Speaker A: Hundred percent. I already told her. I'm like, we're gonna be there. I don't give a shit. [01:02:36] Speaker B: You want to cosplay as a couple? [01:02:38] Speaker A: As a couple? [01:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Like what couple? [01:02:44] Speaker B: I don't know, but we could do a couple. [01:02:46] Speaker A: Yeah, we can cosplay as anything. It's been great. On to relationship advice by residuals. My girlfriend, 28 female parents think that I, 28 male, peed the bed, but it was her squirt. What should I do? Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relationship for more than a year now. We each visit each other once a month. Our home based jobs make it mochi. I swear to God, just be in one spot for like an hour. She's a cat and she must go, shoo, got go go get attacked by the other cats or sit there, I don't care. Okay. Me and my girlfriend have been long distance relationship for more than a year now. We each visit each other as once a month. Our home based jobs make it possible for three week stays. But a few months ago, she was laid off from her job and had to move back to her parents place. She got a part time job shortly after. Whenever I'd stay at their place, I'd pay my respects to her parents, eat lunch with them and stuff. Then we'd check in for a night or two at a hotel. But during my recent visit, we decided to stay at their place to save some money. We couldn't have sex because her bed creaks a lot. So on my last night there, I decided to eat her out. She was down and she told me to stop doing it after she comes so that she won't squirt. But she didn't. She soaked through the comforter and a portion of the mattress. We used our laundry to soak up some of the mess, but to no one's surprise, it didn't do much. She said she just aired out tomorrow. Once I left, it was pretty late. She came with me to the bus terminal to see me off, and once she made it home, her mom had apparently entered her room and aired her mattress out because it reeks. She told her mom that. She told her mom said, I must have dreamt of something scary. To which I replied with a. To which she replied with a shrug. I found it hilarious when she told me this, but we shortly realized it would be a hindrance to my future visits. Her parents are a bit religious, and although probably know we have sex outside, they'd probably be upset if they knew we did it at their place while they were sleeping soundly. Also, I can't just keep it a secret from them and visit their place either way, because her parents think I peed their daughter's bed. Fucking poor grammar dude. Fucking just take the l. Fucking let her parents believe that. Or get married. Or fucking buy her a new bed frame. The one that doesn't squeak. Find out. You know, fuck her on her dresser. It's fine. Like, find other ways to bang. It's gonna be a hilarious story. They already know what it is. [01:06:17] Speaker B: What does the comet say? [01:06:21] Speaker A: What's the lesser two evils to have? You know, that you're getting down with their daughter, or have them think you're an adult bed wetter. Probably later, as they assume you're too embarrassed about it and probably won't ever ask questions. Got it. No fucking sometimes it does. I've got to take that bullet, bro. [01:06:51] Speaker B: I hate it when that happens. [01:06:52] Speaker A: Yep. The first time this person wrote a story. Yep. The first time I met my boyfriend's parents, we had gone to his house. They hadn't made it home yet, so we fooled around in his childhood room. Afterwards, they came home and we met in the kitchen. We were standing around chatting. I bent down to pet their dog and proceeded to have the loudest queef I've ever produced in my life. I immediately stood up and walked out of the room in silence to the the bathroom, each step producing smaller noises on their way out. No one said anything. The room was silent. It's singularity. The most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. We're married now, and to this day, our parents probably think I farted up their kitchen that day. And if they knew the truth, it would be so much worse than what we let them believe. Yeah. You're a bed wetter now, buddy. You better keep it that way. Yeah, see what? Oh, shit. Yeah, we're already fucking out of time. Well, thank you all so much. I had, like, a few more stories, but that's fine. We can save them. We'll be back next week, I'm sure. I'll fucking talk all about fucking truck I bought. Or, you know, how, like, I fucking crashed the truck that I bought. Or how, like, my wife crashed the truck I bought. And I might just fix the car, like, replace the battery. That way I can just, you know, shut my wife up and be like, hey, look, broom. [01:08:34] Speaker B: So what are you gonna do with it? [01:08:36] Speaker A: Fucking still drive it to work. [01:08:38] Speaker B: But you have a truck now. [01:08:41] Speaker A: That gets terrible gas mileage. [01:08:43] Speaker B: How many miles is it to your job? [01:08:46] Speaker A: Like five? [01:08:48] Speaker B: If you're not gonna drive your truck around, why are you buying a truck? [01:08:51] Speaker A: Because I want a truck, and I have a truck. [01:08:54] Speaker B: Yes. [01:08:55] Speaker A: Am I not allowed to have fucking things that I can afford? [01:08:59] Speaker B: Of course you can. [01:09:00] Speaker A: This is like the. The point of getting married. [01:09:02] Speaker B: You're the one who keeps bringing this up. I have stated my opinion. I will not. [01:09:06] Speaker A: I am out here fucking paying for your fucking dental surgery in full, by the way. Yeah. [01:09:27] Speaker B: No, this is the discount plan. Yeah. Oh, I just need a root canal. That's what I'm gonna do. I mean, yes, but also, you gotta remember I have my GI disease. That also doesn't make things easier. The point is, Courtney, I'm gonna try to be an adult. [01:10:13] Speaker A: So thank you all so much. We will be back fucking next week with more bullshit, more drama. See y'all. Bye.