Hairy Dick Monster

[00:00:01] Speaker A: All righty. All righty. We are back from our little hiatus from, you know, people. My wife is still sick. [00:00:09] Speaker B: Shut up. [00:00:10] Speaker A: A. Yeah, she. She. She got sick, got unsick and got resick. [00:00:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I was only sick for a day or two. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Me, I. I'm doing fine. But yeah, we took like a, you know, one. One episode off it. It's fine. But we are back. I'm your host, Alex. The truck. We got my wife, not the truck. And we got a Courtney over here. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Yep, I'm right here. [00:00:38] Speaker A: And we were just on a vacation, on a big ass road trip. And I'm not gonna even, you know, talk about any of the news because I haven't looked at any of the news. I don't care about none of it, you know, so the, like, my. To start out this whole fucking vacation, my wife did not think that I would be able to get back on time. [00:01:06] Speaker C: I did not. [00:01:08] Speaker A: She's like, you're not going to be able to do it. [00:01:10] Speaker C: Okay, babe, I need you to understand that I purposely gave you shit for it to make sure you were back on time. [00:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, trust me, I didn't think I was going to be back on time either, like, for the, like, the three weeks leading up to it. I tried and I'm just like, oh, [00:01:25] Speaker C: you were getting home at like 4 or 5. [00:01:28] Speaker A: I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, like, all right. I'm like, I'm going to set three alarms, set the hotel alarm, I'm going to set my tablet alarm, I'm going to set my phone alarm, and I'm going to put them in different spots in my hotel room. That way I have to fucking stand up and walk over to them and since I'm already up, I have to fucking, you know, get gone. And so that's, you know, how I fucking did. I'm sure I fucking pissed off my neighbors don't care. But, you know, I just, you know how to get up and it works, you know, if you just put something annoying across the room and you get the up. [00:02:14] Speaker C: Yeah, no, you wanted to leave at 11 and we left at 11:30. [00:02:18] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, like, I wanted to get to like the first fucking hotel, which was like six hours away. You know, I. I had everything, like planned out, like, really nice, [00:02:30] Speaker C: and I didn't get lost once on the first day. [00:02:34] Speaker A: I don't think you got lost at all. Yeah, I mean, you got like, you know, a little bit nervous at certain times, but I'm like, yeah, no, you're doing fine. And I had my maps up too, so we did fine. But the first, you know, night, we stopped over in a little town called Green River, Utah. And if you've heard about this town, you haven't heard about this town. No one has heard about this town. [00:02:58] Speaker C: Was it a town. [00:03:01] Speaker A: It was a gas station in a hotel and a really bomb ass restaurant. [00:03:05] Speaker C: The restaurant was good. [00:03:08] Speaker A: And you know, like, the restaurant was like tamarind or tamarind, something like that. In Green river, if you're ever through there and you're like, holy, I'm in Green River. Yeah. Stopping at that restaurant. Good ass food. Hell yeah. But yeah, I mean, I, I went out and used my points, like my hotel points, and I got a room [00:03:37] Speaker C: with a freaking jet spa. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Like, yeah, it had like a little hot tub thing in it and all kinds of cool. [00:03:43] Speaker C: It was so nice. [00:03:44] Speaker A: I forgot I did that too. I'm like, I know. [00:03:46] Speaker C: And you refused to, like, get in with the jet spa. [00:03:50] Speaker A: No. Yeah, I. Hot tubs are not my thing. [00:03:55] Speaker C: Hot tubs are weird. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Alex doesn't like the heart. [00:03:59] Speaker A: Yeah. You want it like a million degrees. [00:04:02] Speaker C: I want to be boiled like a lobster. [00:04:04] Speaker A: If you put lobsters in there, they just catch on fire. [00:04:07] Speaker B: I know. [00:04:09] Speaker A: Like, they'd be overcooked if they. If we put lobsters in there with you. [00:04:14] Speaker C: I don't understand why you guys don't like hot water. [00:04:17] Speaker A: We, we like hot water. You like unreasonable water. You like water that is so fucking hot that it hurt. Like, dermatologists, like, do not go in that water. Like, you know, there's like, you know, hot springs in like, Yosemite. They're like cooler than the water you want to be in. [00:04:41] Speaker C: I just, I love hot water. The hotter the better. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:04:46] Speaker C: I just love hot water. [00:04:48] Speaker A: It's. It's fucking awful. Yeah, you like awful things. [00:04:54] Speaker C: I'm an extremophile. [00:04:57] Speaker A: Like, like, I like, like lukewarm. [00:05:00] Speaker C: I need to be warmed from the outside. [00:05:02] Speaker A: I like lukewarm water. [00:05:04] Speaker C: Lukewarm water is cold water. [00:05:07] Speaker A: No. Lukewarm water is lukewarm water. [00:05:09] Speaker C: No. [00:05:11] Speaker A: Yeah, But then like the next day we, you know, land in Vegas and my dad, you know, hooked me up with like, his nice, like, y hotel nice. And like, they, they're like, yeah. Like, they start treating me with respect. I'm like, no, don't get it twisted. I'm not my dad. I don't have money like, you know, rich people do. I like, I'm not that, you know, you can, you know, treat me like a poor person. [00:05:44] Speaker C: Treatment's where it's at. [00:05:45] Speaker A: It's fine. And they're like, oh, like, it blew their mind. I'm like, yeah, I don't care. But like, do you want a wristband that has like your room key on? I'm like, sure, yeah. And I'm like, I don't know why hotels give you like 15 keys. [00:06:03] Speaker C: I'm like, because you lose them. How? [00:06:05] Speaker A: How do you. I have. [00:06:08] Speaker C: You know how easy I lose stuff. [00:06:10] Speaker A: I have keys from, you know so many goddamn hotels. I have keys from every fucking hotel. [00:06:15] Speaker C: I know Walt's flight of them. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I'd take them home with me because, you know, if I do not take the keys out of the room, I'm going to lock something in the room and I'm not going to be able to get back in. It'll always be like the time where I leave at like 2am and no one's at the front desk. And now I'm like locked out of the room. Like, my truck keys are in there or my glasses are in there. You know, something important and so. [00:06:43] Speaker C: Forgotten your glasses? [00:06:44] Speaker A: Of course. I. I've forgotten so much in like my hotel room and I had to like, go back in there. I'm like, it's. It's right here. Okay. [00:06:53] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:06:54] Speaker A: That's. [00:06:54] Speaker C: I was about to ask how did you forget your glasses? But one time I was driving to work and I realized I was still in my pajamas and I had to go back. [00:07:04] Speaker A: If you wear glasses, you don't know you're wearing glasses. [00:07:08] Speaker C: You don't? [00:07:09] Speaker A: No. [00:07:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:10] Speaker B: You start ignoring them. [00:07:12] Speaker C: Oh, your brain just like desensitize you to it. [00:07:14] Speaker A: Yeah. You can't feel them on your face. You, you know, like, unless you like start noticing like, shit's like blurry, like everyone that wears glasses. You don't know. Like, there's like times where I won't be wearing my glasses and like, shit's blurry. And so I like, I'll push up on like the bridge of my nose and I'm like, I'm not wearing my fucking glasses. And I'll like do it like a bunch of times. Like, I'm not wearing my glasses. Yep. But yeah, we got to Vegas and we got hooked up with this sweet ass hotel room and like the, the. Do we even do anything that the first night or do we just like kind of stay in and just get drunk? [00:08:00] Speaker C: So the first at the hotel. So we went up to the bar that was like at the top of the building. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Yeah. So we went up to, like, a [00:08:07] Speaker C: rooftop bar so I could see all the lights. [00:08:09] Speaker A: And I introduced my wife to daiquiris. [00:08:13] Speaker C: Cause, like, okay, so I only ever drunk cosmos because I once read about a cosmo in a book. And so, like, I'm not quite sure if I ever genuinely liked cosmos, but I knew that word. And I don't want to walk up to a bar and be like, I don't know anything, but I know this word, so I'll take that word. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like. [00:08:36] Speaker C: And, like, so many bars make cosmos with triple sec and not contro. And contro literally invented cosmos. It pisses me off so much. [00:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah, but they're trying to save money. [00:08:47] Speaker C: It's so much better with the contro. [00:08:49] Speaker A: But, yeah. So I'm like, here, I'm gonna introduce you to, you know, a strawberry daiquiri. I'm sure you're gonna like it. [00:08:56] Speaker C: And she's like, it's nice and sweet. [00:08:57] Speaker A: She's like, I love strawberry daiquiris. And I'm like, like, up next is gonna be like, sex on the beach or, you know, something like that. [00:09:05] Speaker C: Doesn't that have tequila in it? [00:09:07] Speaker A: Maybe? [00:09:08] Speaker C: I can't do tequila. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Yeah, you can. [00:09:10] Speaker C: Everyone makes me so sick. [00:09:13] Speaker A: Everyone can do tequila. So we. We end up going, getting drunk and, you know, being on, like, the roof, spending way too much on expensive drinks, but whatever. And then the next night, we go out and I got a Groupon for a rage room. [00:09:34] Speaker C: It was so much fun. [00:09:36] Speaker A: So, you know, they also have, like, throwing axes and throwing weapons. [00:09:40] Speaker C: I like the throwing part. [00:09:43] Speaker A: So I signed us up to do both of them, and I'm like, all right, you know, let's come in here and throw some axes. And they give us the rundown on how to throw the fucking axes on how to throw every fucking thing. And I'm like, all right, cool. You know, not a problem. And I just started handing my wife weapons to throw at a fucking wall. [00:10:05] Speaker C: I was best for cards. [00:10:09] Speaker A: I mean, a bunch of them, yes. Bounce back, but it's fine. [00:10:12] Speaker C: Like, no, I was really good with the cards. [00:10:14] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, like, these little metal cards, and she's, like, really good with those. Like, the big battle ninja stars she was pretty good with. [00:10:22] Speaker C: Yeah, as long as they weren't too heavy. But, like, I had to throw my cards with the right. But I can only do the ninja stars with my left. [00:10:29] Speaker A: So. Yeah. I mean, after she's been, like, doing it for, like, an hour, she got pretty good. And I'm getting tired. I'm like, all right. [00:10:36] Speaker C: I Wasn't tired. My hands were starting to hurt. [00:10:39] Speaker A: That's tired. [00:10:40] Speaker C: There's a difference between being tired and being in pain. [00:10:43] Speaker A: I mean, like, the last time I did it, like, no one's ever fucking there, you know? So, like, last time I did, I was there for, like, two hours. Like, you pay for, like, an hour of time, and if no one's there, they just do not give a shit. They're like, take as much time as you want. We don't fucking care. And it's like, all right, now I want to go do the goddamn rage room, you know, because the rage room is a new thing that they just started. And so they're like, all right, here's some fucking clothes. Here's, like, some coveralls. And, like, there's glass all over the floor just. Just from a previous fucking thing. And I'm like, all right. You know, like, do you have, like, a changing room? I'm just like, whatever. And, you know, we. We get dressed in these coveralls, these gloves, and this, like, mask and, you know, goggles and all this. [00:11:34] Speaker C: Yeah, like, super protected. [00:11:38] Speaker A: And, you know, like, here you can break, you know, like, a phone or something like that. I'm like, all right, cool. And so, like, I tell my wife, like, pick out, you know, thing you fucking want to break. You know, expecting her to be like, I want the fucking fuck. She picks out a remote. [00:11:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:59] Speaker A: And I'm like, all right, cool. And we go in, and I. She's just breaking glass. I'm like, take this plate and throw it on the ground and break it. [00:12:07] Speaker C: The first time you gave me a plate, I was really scared to break it. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like. [00:12:11] Speaker C: Then after I broke the second one, I realized I was actually having fun. [00:12:16] Speaker A: And so, you know, I give her, like, a hammer. I'm like, break these fucking bottles. And, you know, she's having a great fucking time. And then I. We turn around, she's bleeding, you know, through the fucking glove. And just like. I'm like, all right, well, that's a thing. [00:12:40] Speaker C: I don't know when it happened. [00:12:43] Speaker A: We have glass all on our feet. [00:12:46] Speaker C: There's glass everywhere. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Like, the entire room is just like, a fucking hazard at this point. [00:12:51] Speaker C: I made a mistake when I wore my tennis shoes, but I had no other shoes to wear. [00:12:55] Speaker A: I mean, I had boots. I mean, imagine people that have, like, fucking flip flops and go in there and make. I'm sure they get their feet cut the fuck up, and I don't think that they give a shit. Like, do Whatever you want. [00:13:05] Speaker C: Yeah, no, we signed the waiver there. We signed the waiver. And they're like, fuck you. If you get hurt, it's your problem. [00:13:12] Speaker A: And so, yeah, you know, it. And it ruins my wife's shoes. [00:13:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:20] Speaker A: And it, like, I'm, like, walking, like, after we leave this place, there's still glass. My foot, like, just giant shards of glass just in my boots. [00:13:29] Speaker B: I know. [00:13:29] Speaker C: I tried to pick out as much glass as I could, but I couldn't get it all out. And then it punctured my souls [00:13:38] Speaker A: and. And then, like, we went to Meow Wolf. [00:13:44] Speaker C: Oh, my God, it was so much fun. I paid a lot more attention to the storyline. I want to go back another time. [00:13:50] Speaker A: She sat there and read every. I did read possible thing. [00:13:55] Speaker C: I read so much, and I still didn't read it all. There's. [00:13:58] Speaker A: Oh, there's. There's also an app that you can use with the experience of. Of Meow Wolf. [00:14:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:06] Speaker A: So, like, there's even more lore. [00:14:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, my God, it was so much fun. And, like, I need you to understand because, like, in, like, the Meow Wolf, like, the whole premise is this lady goes out and she has this, like, holistic atmosphere. She has a spiritual, like, experience out in the desert. And next day, you literally. And then, literally, we go to Joshua Tree and. And I'm fucking high on mushrooms in the fucking desert. [00:14:36] Speaker A: Well, then the next day after, you know that, we went to Courtney's. [00:14:41] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I went to my besties [00:14:42] Speaker A: first, you know, and, you know, I was. We went out, had sushi. Very good sushi. And, you know, I was hanging out for a little bit until I had to go to my campsite. And, like, the check in was like, four. I'm like, okay, you know, four o', clock, whatever. And it was like an hour away, you know, like a little halfway in between. That way I can, you know, get all the I needed for the festival. And. And I get there and I'm like, hey, I'm here for camping. And, like, all right, cool. Give us all your information. And I do. And so he's like, running me, you know, through like, everything that they have. He's like, yep, we have, like, little walking trails and all this. You can set up your tent anywhere over here. We got fresh water. We got toilets. And he's like, also, we got ants. You know, he like, just, you know, like, btws, we got ants. And I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, we got ants. Just. You're. You're gonna, you know, you're gonna run into some ants. I'm like, like, do you have like, wildlife? He's like, yeah, we have that too, but we have ants. I'm like, like, you're really emphasizing this ant thing. He's like, because we have ants. I'm like, oh, okay. And I'm not like, I'm like, all right, I'll just, you know, camp away the, away from the, you know, picnic tables. That way it won't be a problem because I assume that the ants are hanging around the picnic tables or around the water, you know. No, the ants were everywhere. There's black ants. Like, the entire place was made of sugar. Like, there was so many ants. He understated how many ants he had. Like, he should have been like, we have an infestation of ants. You're going to be covered in like a thousand ants in the morning. There's nothing you can do about it. Not a damn thing. You can cry. You're going to be covered in ants. And I'm just like, okay. But yeah, I woke up at 4 o' clock in the morning. I'm just like, you know, like wiping, you know, ants off me. And I turn on the light because I'm like, let's see how fucking bad this. Yeah, it was fucking bad. Like I, I, I was made of sugar, I guess, cuz like these fucking, like I had like, probably a thousand ants like on me and I just like, look at the bottom of the tent. I'm like, fuck, there's ants everywhere. I'm just like, yeah, the most ants I've ever fucking seen. Like, I've seen less ants in the kitchen. And I'm just like, oh, okay. Like there's no food in the tent too. There's like nothing. Like I already eaten before I, you know, got out to the campsite so there's nothing for the ants to be interested in. And I didn't, you know, put the campsite on like an ant hill or anything. I, I made sure because it was 4 o' clock so the light was still out and I, you know, double checked. I'm like, all right, cool. There's nothing here. No ants. Yeah, the ants found my ass. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Yep. [00:18:11] Speaker A: And then, you know, I don't know what you girls did. I guess just, you know, like, probably read books or something and we hung out. [00:18:20] Speaker C: Courtney read books. I typed. And then we finished the last season of, of the bookworm. And I'm sad now, was a bookworm. Yeah, yeah. [00:18:31] Speaker B: The Ascendance of a Bookworm. It's a series oh, probably one of [00:18:37] Speaker A: those weird animes together. [00:18:39] Speaker B: Yeah, we were watching it together and then Alex ended up, we started watching another series, the one, the smoker one, [00:18:48] Speaker C: which is hilarious, [00:18:56] Speaker B: But it was so funny. And then we watched weird alien shows. [00:19:00] Speaker C: Yeah, we did. [00:19:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:07] Speaker C: It was so stupid. [00:19:11] Speaker A: Aliens versus ninjas. But here's like the worst part of like, I'd say the second to the worst part of this whole trip is I went to Walmart to, you know, get, you know, the last, like, you know, get food and everything for, you know, camping because we're going to be out there for a few days and, you know, put it all in like the, you know, ice chest and all that. So I go into Walmart, I get everything I need, you know, and I'm coming up, you know, got all the alcohol, got all the food, you know, we're all good, and I'm putting, you know, all the food into the car. And this fucking bee, this fucking bee just starts attacking me out of nowhere. I'm like, nowhere near like a tree or anything. I'm just like, you know, and this bee just starts attacking the fuck out of me. And I look like a lunatic in the, in the parking lot, slapping my face and just swatting the sky. And no one else can see this bee. And I know they just see some fucking lunatic around a fucking Prius. And I'm just like, you know, what the. And I'm mad and like, I'm like running away from this fucking bee. And I get, I dive into the car and close the door. The bee follows me into the fucking car. The bee wants blood. It wants me so bad. I'm like, no, absolutely fine. I get out of the car, the bee follows me out of the car. I'm like, what the b. It doesn't sting me because it will fucking die, but it's like, it, it's like mothing on my face. It's like where, like the moth, like dive bombs your face, it just keeps on doing that, like, getting into my ears. I'm like, I'm freaking the fuck out and I'm just trying to like, throw all the in and shit. Keeps on falling out. Like I had like a 12 pack of Sprite for like chasers and shit that falls out and explodes everywhere. And I, I am, you know, a lunatic for like 20 minutes, just running from the speed, running through the parking lot, just trying to get the, away from this bee. And there's no killing it, you know, I, I, I'm like, I want to murder everybody. I'm so mad at this point because, like, the. The bees, like, up a whole bunch of my. Up the bread, up everything. And it successfully, you know, caused, you [00:21:51] Speaker C: know, [00:21:53] Speaker A: you know, monetary value and damages. Like, yeah, bees have to fucking go. And then I go over to, like, Home Depot, where I assume the bees would fucking be. Because they sell flowers and shit. No, bees over there. They don't give a fuck. And, you know, in the chaos of this fucking bee bullshit, it destroyed my fucking phone charger. It, like, it bent the fucking, you know, phone charger because, you know, I just had to start throwing shit in. Destroyed that. And so I'm over at, you know, Home Depot, I'm like, all right, you know, I need a fucking new phone charger. They don't have any. They would. [00:22:36] Speaker C: You find. Why would there be a phone charger at Home Depot? [00:22:40] Speaker A: They have a whole bunch of USBs. They have, you know, tons for Apple, they have tons for old phones. You know, nothing from iPhone. And so I'm just like, all right. [00:22:51] Speaker B: Wow. [00:22:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, well, whatever. I'm just like, I need a fucking, you know, a broom and a bucket. You know, the. The fucking. The Bucket of Death. [00:23:05] Speaker C: The Bucket of Death. [00:23:06] Speaker A: The Bucket of Death. And so, you know, like, I just go in there and I just, like, you know, buy this broom by the bucket. And I'm just, like, sitting there, I'm like, all right, well, what else the fuck do I need? And, you know, I go like, vons, and I get some dry ice. And, you know, I'm buying the dry ice, and they like, look at me. And they're like, how old are you? I'm like, old enough. Like, when's your birthday? I'm like, it's 91. Just put in a fucking date. Put in your birthday. How dare you ask me for my, you know, for dry ice. Like, let kids buy dry ice. Like, I don't think they let kids buy Sharpies now. You know, kids are just bad. [00:23:56] Speaker B: You can't even buy cold medicine. [00:23:59] Speaker C: Nope. [00:24:00] Speaker A: That's wild. So, you know, at this point, I have everything and I'm ready to go. And I still have time because the ants woke me up at 3, 4am it is a conspiracy theory, you know, California does not want me in California. The ants were attacking me, the bee was attacking me, the rain attacked me. But, you know, I. I get to Joshua Tree, like, an hour early. You know, it's like 1 o', clock, like 1:15. You know, they open the gates at 2. And so I go in, I get my wristband get my sticker, you know, for the car, you know, where I paid extra to have, like, you know, nice, you know, not, you know, people intense, you know, around me, which did [00:24:54] Speaker B: not end up happening. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah, that ended up happening anyway. And they're like, yeah, go ahead and go right on in. And I'm like, are you sure you shouldn't have a. [00:25:07] Speaker B: He shouldn't have said anything. [00:25:10] Speaker A: What do you mean? [00:25:11] Speaker B: Should have just gone in. [00:25:12] Speaker A: Well, no, the security chick up front was. Stop me. Oh, yeah. There's, like, a chick, like, right out the front gates. And I'm just like, oh, yeah. I'm like, hey. Because I don't want to be like that. That's like, well, it's an hour early. Can I come in? You know, But I'm like, hey, at the front, they said, you know, this is open. Is it open? And she's like, what? Who told you that? I'm like, the people at the front. And she gets on her walkie talkie, and she's like, no, it's not open. And a bunch of other fucking people saw me, you know, attempting it, and so they all, like, got behind me and are also trying to attempt. I'm like, well, I guess no one's fucking leaving. And so, like, I go over and I pull over to the side of the road, and I just, like, start watching, like, you know, shows on my tablet. And I'm, like, there for, like, 10 minutes. I'm like, oh, the gate's open now. You know, like, yeah, you can come in. I'm like, the fuck was the point of waiting an extra 10 minutes? And so I go and I set everything the fuck on up, [00:26:26] Speaker C: and it was dope. [00:26:27] Speaker A: It was dope for the first few days, you know, like, the hairy dick guy wasn't there. [00:26:33] Speaker C: Oh, God. Good God. But, yeah, like, I. I'd already forgotten his dick. Why would you bring it back? [00:26:42] Speaker A: I. I love it. But, yeah, I mean, like, I. I paid extra to be in, like, the rv, you know, camping area where you have a bigger spot for, like, 20 plus feet and all that. And, you know, if you want to have people park, you know, in your area, you have to, like, allow them. But, like, the, like, the first night, like, some other, you know, chicks just started, like, you know, pull her, like, little car in, and we're like, absolutely not. Like, you know, everyone else that, like, got there, like, the first fucking day, and we're like, absolutely not. No. And she goes immediately in. Tattletales. And so we have, like, a bunch of fucking you know, rangers, you know, coming up to us and like, hey, did you tell this lady she can't camp here? I'm like, we're like, yeah. And like, okay, yeah, she can't camp here. Yeah, we told her the exact same fucking thing you guys told her, but she's coming over here trying to snitch on you. I'm like, yeah, you don't get to come here fucking late and, you know, get a premium spot, man. You know, I, I paid extra money to come here a day early and yeah, she came in like. [00:27:56] Speaker B: And then by the end, they, they put someone there anyway. [00:28:00] Speaker A: No, he just decided to camp there. [00:28:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:03] Speaker A: And he wasn't even there. [00:28:05] Speaker C: No, he was out for like a job somewhere in town. Like, he wasn't even there at the festival. [00:28:10] Speaker A: Yeah, the, the hairy dick monster. God, you know, he was a big giant dude that didn't fucking know how to stake down a fucking. [00:28:19] Speaker B: Their car there too, though. [00:28:20] Speaker C: He saw the fucking Cadillac. Or was it a Lincoln? [00:28:25] Speaker A: Yeah, he had a Lincoln. You there, Courtney? [00:28:31] Speaker C: Courtney? [00:28:32] Speaker A: Oh, [00:28:34] Speaker C: she left me. [00:28:35] Speaker A: No, she's like freezing. [00:28:37] Speaker B: Can't hear you guys. [00:28:38] Speaker A: Can you hear us now? [00:28:39] Speaker B: Hello? [00:28:40] Speaker A: Hello? [00:28:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I can hear you now. [00:28:43] Speaker A: All right. It probably just like one was messing up whatever, but yeah, like, this dude just, you know, didn't pay for the premium spots and just decided to, you know, put his tent in our area [00:28:58] Speaker C: and like, right up against our car. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Yeah. So like the, you know, wind is blowing during the fucking hurricane Rachel and blowing his tent all over our car. And I'm like, I almost just took down his entire goddamn tent. I'm like, absolutely not. If you ain't going to be here, you go, you know, put your tent out with the other hobos out in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, you, you, you don't get to have premium spots if you're not willing to pay for it. [00:29:27] Speaker C: And he wasn't even there. [00:29:31] Speaker A: So I'm like, that, that, that, that is the one downside to Joshua Tree. It's like they should like make sure that everyone in like the premium spots, you know, paid for the premium spots. Not, you know, hey, you get to, you know, just come over here and we're not gonna say, you know, check the stickers. Oh, you don't have the premium sticker. You go over to the non premium lot. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Huh. [00:30:01] Speaker A: So, but, you know, whatever. But yeah, we, we did get hit with that huge ass hurricane. [00:30:09] Speaker C: It was a flash flood. [00:30:10] Speaker A: It was a hurricane. It even has its own Wikipedia page now. [00:30:18] Speaker C: I thought hurricanes could only happen on the CO [00:30:23] Speaker A: Hurricane Rachel, I think it's [00:30:28] Speaker C: not. [00:30:29] Speaker B: It wasn't a hurricane. [00:30:30] Speaker A: It was a hurricane. Yeah. Hurricane Rachel was a strong and long lived tropical cyclone that affected Baja California and Southern California in October 2026. Rachel was the 19th named storm, 10th hurricane, and eighth major hurricane of the extremely active 2026 Pacific hurricane season. So, yeah, I came up through Mexico, you know, and was, you know, heading towards Hawaii and then it just, you know, took a beeline straight for me. It's like, oh, hell no, you so cold. Yeah, it ruined, like the desert experience. The Highest winds are 120 miles an hour. Jesus Christ. Damage, you know, about 100 million. But yeah, no, they took out roads left and right and we were in a tent. Yeah. But, you know, I. I was in, you know, like battening down the hatches of our easy up and of all our stuff, you know, lacing everything, you know, down tighter. And, you know, the girls were out, you know, dancing high in the rain. [00:31:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Yep. [00:32:01] Speaker C: Oh, my God, it was so much fun. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I, like, was. It didn't like, do anything at first. I'm like, okay, maybe this might not be so bad. And yeah, then it got real, real fucking bad. [00:32:16] Speaker C: It got really bad. [00:32:19] Speaker A: It just started, you know, it flooded, like, everything. I'm like, all right, cool. Everything's ruined now, but whatever. [00:32:28] Speaker C: Well, I still had so much fun. [00:32:32] Speaker A: It'd be better if it was warm. [00:32:33] Speaker C: Oh, my God, there was so much bass. [00:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:36] Speaker C: And I had my special seat. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a special seat at the Joshua Tree Campground. [00:32:43] Speaker B: Yeah, it was fun. [00:32:45] Speaker A: And she just stood there the entire time and, like, and kicked children off. She's like, no children. This is mine. [00:32:53] Speaker C: Yeah, it was mine. I was there first. [00:32:59] Speaker A: And I've realized something, you know, from this entire trip, you know, and it's that my mom might be a burner. Like, like we were surrounded by so many people from Burning man, you know, and they're like all professional with all their, you know, they had expensive campers and all that. And I'm like, I don't know if my mom enjoys camping. I don't imagine that she does, but if she got like a really nice camper, I'm sure she would be all for Burning man, you know? [00:33:37] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:33:38] Speaker A: What does your thing keep on up? [00:33:46] Speaker B: Oh, I just keep on freaking getting cut off. I can't hear you. Yeah, it's really weird, huh? [00:33:52] Speaker A: That is weird. [00:33:53] Speaker B: I thought it might be the WI fi, so I disconnected from the WI fi. [00:33:59] Speaker A: Yeah, sometimes it is. Sometimes like the WI fi will just Cut out. And, I mean, I. I do have [00:34:05] Speaker B: the option to try connecting to the WI Fi now. [00:34:09] Speaker A: I mean, I. I pay good money for my WI Fi. It's fine. But, yeah, like, my. My mom is, you know, exactly like that type of person. [00:34:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:23] Speaker A: You know, like, our. Our neighbors very much seem like Pineapple people. [00:34:30] Speaker C: That was. For sure. Nio didn't even. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Yeah, they. They definitely gave off the fucking pineapple people vibe. So I'm like, like. Yeah. [00:34:43] Speaker C: I mean, like, more power to him. Yeah. [00:34:45] Speaker A: I'm like, you know, enjoy what you want to do. Yeah, both, you know, both left and right. Yeah, absolutely. You know, like, they're talking about, like, the orgy tents and all that and Burning Man. I'm like, yeah, I thought the orgy [00:35:03] Speaker C: tent was a myth. [00:35:04] Speaker A: No, it is very much not a myth. It just sounds like the smelliest tent in the desert. [00:35:12] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. It would definitely not smell great. [00:35:17] Speaker A: It's like. But, you know, they're in their 50s, and, you know. [00:35:23] Speaker B: Yeah, go. [00:35:24] Speaker A: Go live your life. Yeah. [00:35:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:33] Speaker A: And then, yeah, we enjoyed the entire thing. And then we left. Like, I. I wanted to get up early, and the one thing I didn't, you know, take into account was the fact that there's an hour change the opposite way. So I'm like, okay, if we get up at 10, you know, we can, you know, get back, you know, like, at 8. You know, get to Albuquerque at 8, and, you know, everything should be fine because it's, you know, 10 hours, you know, but all the. All the roads were fucking washed out, you know, and the. The road said closed. Like, there's a big sign in the middle of the road saying road closed. And I'm like, oh. And I. I'm. And people are just driving around it, and I guess, you know, we just risked it for the Biscuit, and we got through, and then we got to, like, a really nice, hit, historic hotel. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Oh, that place was dope. [00:36:39] Speaker A: And it has given me inspiration. [00:36:43] Speaker C: And it had a giant hot tub. And the chick was like, Ollie. And the chick was like, we close at 10, but I'll leave it open for you guys. Because she could see how tired we were, and I was so grateful, I went out and sat in that hot tub for, like, half an hour, and then I slipped and fell, and I hurt my foot real bad. [00:37:04] Speaker A: Well, that's why you don't you dingle. [00:37:06] Speaker C: My God, my foot was swollen for, like, the next two days. [00:37:09] Speaker A: Well, that's on you. [00:37:10] Speaker C: Like, I literally called. I literally. I literally called it to work. [00:37:15] Speaker A: Did you put the other days that you did pick up on your schedule? [00:37:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:20] Speaker A: Okay. And then the next day, we went to Meow Wolf and Albuquerque. [00:37:25] Speaker C: It's so much fun. We have to go back to that one. Because I did not read because I did not get enough of the storyline. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, we can. [00:37:34] Speaker C: And it was. And no, no, no, no, no, no. And it was connected to the one in Las Vegas. Like, there was no. If you read. No, there was a bunch of, like, Easter eggs and all the. In all the paperwork I was reading. [00:37:48] Speaker A: Yeah, they just have, like, paperwork strewn about. [00:37:52] Speaker C: And, and we went to the carbon. We went to the car. I'm gonna say carbonate carbonaceous period during the Paleozenic epoch. [00:38:05] Speaker A: What? [00:38:06] Speaker C: Yes. They time traveled to the. I can't say the words anymore, but they time traveled to the Paleozenic epoch during the carbon. Carbon. During the Carboniferous forest. I know I'm mispronouncing it, but they time traveled, and that's, like, one of my favorite time periods. [00:38:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't get. I didn't pick up any of that. Like, see, you know, I'm the type of person, I'll play a video game, and it's like, you know, they're talking like, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. I don't care what you're talking about. You know, I just want the action. [00:38:40] Speaker C: And some teenager tried to, like, cuss me out, too. [00:38:43] Speaker A: Well, you were. You were sitting in, like, the couch for, like, an hour. [00:38:47] Speaker C: Yeah, there was so much to read. [00:38:51] Speaker A: Yeah, Like, I, I, I left her there because I'm like, Like, I. I, like, explored the entire house. I'm like, well, I'm gonna go explore the rest of this exhibit while you sit here and read. Well, you and I. I would keep. I would continuously, you know, circle back, and you'd still be reading. [00:39:11] Speaker C: There was so much to read, and it made it so much more fun when I finally walked around, because I understood why I under. I understood a lot of the rooms and how they were interconnected, but I didn't read all of it there. I probably. I only read, like, 50% of it. There was a bunch of more plot line that I did not. [00:39:26] Speaker A: I guarantee you. There's, like, YouTube videos that explain all of the lore. [00:39:31] Speaker C: Of course there is, but it's fun to. It's fun to experience it myself, which means we have to go back. [00:39:38] Speaker A: Let's see the lore of Meow Wolf, [00:39:41] Speaker C: Santa Fe, because there's a family, and they all had different experiences. There was the grandpa. There was Lucien. There was his mom. There was his niece and nephew, and, like, they all had, like, different experiences. And the hamster and then the plant. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Yeah. The. The dryer did not light up like that. But [00:40:09] Speaker C: it was so much fun. We have to go back. [00:40:12] Speaker A: We'll have to take Courtney out there, too. [00:40:13] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It was so much fun. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Yep. [00:40:15] Speaker C: And I finally got my stuffy. [00:40:19] Speaker A: Yeah, well, we'll have to, like, fly you out to Santa Fe. [00:40:22] Speaker C: It was so much fun. It was so small, but there was so much to do and look at and read. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:30] Speaker A: I mean, like, maybe, like, one of these, you know, weekends, like, we can give the cats, like, an early breakfast, you know, and head out. Because it is, what, eight hours? [00:40:43] Speaker C: The Santa Fe? [00:40:44] Speaker A: Yeah. No, it's not eight hours. [00:40:46] Speaker C: What? I thought it was, like, an hour and a half. [00:40:48] Speaker A: That's, like four hours away. [00:40:50] Speaker C: What? [00:40:51] Speaker A: Santa Fe take four hours. [00:40:53] Speaker C: It was that far away. [00:40:55] Speaker A: It's like. Yeah, it's like four hours away from us. Yeah. [00:41:01] Speaker C: Oh, okay. It felt, like shorter than that. But I was also really tired after Meow Wolf. I was really tired, and my foot hurt. [00:41:10] Speaker B: I'm surprised you guys were able to do that. [00:41:13] Speaker C: It was so much fun, though. I love going to Meow Wolf's. And now we have to go to the ones in Texas, maybe. I mean, there's two in Texas. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Yeah. 4 hours and 37 minutes felt shorter than that. So. Yeah, I mean, we can, you know, feed the kitties, like an early breakfast, head down, you know, boom. And then head back. Yeah. Yeah. You know, fun little day. [00:41:38] Speaker C: Yes, it was so much fun. [00:41:42] Speaker A: And with the way you drive, I [00:41:45] Speaker C: mean, like, I wanted to spend more time there, but I also wanted to, like, get home at a decent hour. So, like, the next time we go, I'm probably gonna stay, take even more time. [00:41:58] Speaker A: I mean, honestly, like, you know, I can just, like, send you down, you [00:42:03] Speaker C: know, Like, I could probably drive myself. I'm a big girl. [00:42:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And then just be like, you know, I can stay and watch the cats. [00:42:10] Speaker C: That would be fun. [00:42:12] Speaker A: And then you can just, you know, enjoy the entire thing of that Meow [00:42:16] Speaker C: Wolf, because I feel like I could spend, like, four hours there. [00:42:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I can just get you, like, a hotel room, and you can, you know, spend the night, you know, over there in Santa Fe. And then, you know, just get up, you know, and, you know, I feel [00:42:37] Speaker C: like, like, oh, and you got me my rose. [00:42:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. They had, like, a little arcade there, [00:42:42] Speaker C: too, like a claw machine. And I've always been bad at the claw machine. And I really wanted to get the rose, but, like, I had spent two tokens and I only had two left. And I went over to you, you were like, oh, give me your token so I'll go get the rose. And then you got the rose. [00:42:57] Speaker A: I'm pretty good at what I do. [00:42:58] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I was impressed. [00:43:02] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I like, oh, my send send you on down there and yeah, you can go enjoy it. Also, since it's in New Mexico, I can just send you with the gas cards too. [00:43:13] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:43:15] Speaker A: Since they do have chevrons in New Mexico, so. [00:43:23] Speaker B: Really? You have a gas card? [00:43:25] Speaker A: I, I had four gas cards, so I, I use hotel points to get $200 in gas, you know, so I'm like, okay, you know, I'm gonna, you know, mix it up that way, you know, I have something for everything. And my dumbass didn't realize that Chevron is not in Colorado at all. [00:43:48] Speaker C: How did you not know that? [00:43:51] Speaker A: I don't look at the gas stations in Colorado. I go to Loves. Like, like, I, I, I drive a diesel truck. I drive a commercial. [00:44:01] Speaker C: You don't drive around town, huh? [00:44:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I, I, I just, I've never thought about it. And, and there's no chevrons out here and there's like, no BP gas stations and, you know, out here neither. So I'm like, so now I have a hundred dollars in gas that I can't use, but, yeah, I, I can very easily, you know, send my wife down there and. [00:44:33] Speaker C: Because now I really want to go back. [00:44:35] Speaker A: Yeah, it's 320 miles, so 4 hours, 37 minutes. You know, you can just, you know, feed the kitties breakfast, like on a Saturday and, you know, head on down there and, you know, get there like at two. [00:44:58] Speaker C: And. Yeah, [00:45:04] Speaker A: or you can, like, you know, spend the day, get down there, you know, just kind of take your time, you know, get a hotel room, wake up early on a Sunday, you know, get up at 10, boom. And go spend all day and drive back. [00:45:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:26] Speaker A: You know, like 10 to 6, and then you're back here. You know, kitties are fed and boom, [00:45:35] Speaker C: couple day thing, because they really want to go back. [00:45:38] Speaker A: Yeah, you can do that. Not a problem. We'll figure that out. But the one thing that I want to do now, you know, due to all this nonsense, is I want to get myself a travel trailer. [00:45:50] Speaker C: Yeah, I told you. [00:45:53] Speaker A: Like, like I saw everyone with their RVs and with their travel trailers and [00:45:57] Speaker C: me wearing a tent. [00:46:00] Speaker A: I mean, like in a flood. It wasn't that bad. Like, I, I Had it, you know, mostly handled. Like the tent didn't get wet. [00:46:08] Speaker C: No, it didn't. [00:46:09] Speaker A: So like the tent stayed. The tent stayed dry. But since it was so fucking cold. It was just so fucking cold. [00:46:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it was so cold. And I had to go to the bathroom all the time. [00:46:21] Speaker A: Oh yeah. And then I got the fucking bucket of death. So I, I got one of these five gallon buckets and like the fucking lid that goes over it that you can like, you know, use as a restroom. Got it for my wife. And yeah, thank God I got that fucking thing because. [00:46:38] Speaker C: Courtney, remember that? Remember the first day you were there and we got that Mexican food? [00:46:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:44] Speaker C: Okay. So it gave me the runs and I woke up at like 2 in the morning and my ass was like, you have two seconds before shit, before piss, before like liquid is literally going to shoot out our ass. Like I had no time to get dressed and go out to the porta potty. Like I had to use the mini toilet, but I was so sick. So I pissed out my ass and then I vomited into it and then I fucking had more diarrhea into it and I, I had lost my wristband and I thought I couldn't move around if I didn't have my wristband. So I didn't take it out because I thought I wasn't allowed to leave the tent. [00:47:23] Speaker A: So. Yeah, I mean, like I, I went to go tie it up and like, I have a strong stomach. I've smelled some fucking horrendous shit in my life. [00:47:33] Speaker C: I'm so sorry. Like, you told me it was worse than the chicken in the can. [00:47:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Back in the day I had a chicken in a can that I left in a pot for like a month in the fridge. [00:47:45] Speaker C: I'm so sorry, babe. [00:47:47] Speaker A: Yeah, that thing fucking fermented. [00:47:49] Speaker C: I'm sorry. So sorry. But oh my God, Courtney. Like I. My stomach like hurt for like 24 hours after that Mexican food. [00:47:59] Speaker B: Really? [00:48:00] Speaker C: Yeah. No, it made me so sick. [00:48:03] Speaker B: I knew we shouldn't have done it, cuz last time you were here, Mexican food made you really, really sick. [00:48:08] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I need to stop eating Mexican food. Like, I really just need to stop eating Mexican food. [00:48:16] Speaker B: Or just make it yourself. Figure out what you can have and [00:48:18] Speaker C: then just like, I do make my own chimichangas and those are pretty good. [00:48:24] Speaker B: Yeah, see, [00:48:30] Speaker A: I mean, at least you didn't throw up after you saw the big hairy dick monster. [00:48:35] Speaker C: Oh my God, dude, [00:48:39] Speaker B: I missed when you guys talked about this earlier. [00:48:42] Speaker C: I don't. [00:48:42] Speaker A: The, the, the tent that was in Front of the car. Like, yeah, there is like, this big hairy dude and my wife saw his penis. Like, I guess he was like, naked in his tent or something like that. [00:48:59] Speaker C: Yeah, no, it wasn't great. [00:49:01] Speaker A: And like, they, like, I saw his [00:49:03] Speaker C: penis and then we made eyes. [00:49:09] Speaker B: Did you have a horrible look on your face? I bet you did. [00:49:11] Speaker C: I hope I did. [00:49:12] Speaker B: I thought it was hilarious. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Like, I don't want to see. I'm. Is it wrong? I just don't want to see other people's dicks. [00:49:20] Speaker A: I mean, it doesn't bother me at all. Like, I. I'll. I'll see people's dicks all day. [00:49:24] Speaker C: I'm like, I just don't want to. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Like, show me your dick. [00:49:27] Speaker C: Like, I feel like that was like my first ever unsolicited dick pic. [00:49:33] Speaker A: Trust me. I. Like, when I used to go to the gym all the time, we saw. I saw dicks on a daily. Like, bad dicks all the time. Just. Oh, my God, that. That's not a great deck. Like, you should, like, cover up like that. Like, why is your dick, like, smushed? Like, there's people that have, like, smushed, like, heads on their dicks. [00:49:58] Speaker B: Ew. [00:49:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Like they ran into a wall with a boner and it just, you know, kept that shape, you know, Some dicks, you know, go left, some dicks go right. It's like, oh, my God, thank God I have, like, a semi normal dick. It's like, not big, but I'm like, it's. It's not. [00:50:17] Speaker C: If your dick was weird, I wouldn't be with you. [00:50:20] Speaker A: I. I wouldn't blame you. You know, I wouldn't blame you at all. You know, I'm sure, like, that's like, the majority of, like, single dudes just, like, they have weird dicks and it's like, sorry, bud. You know, there's nothing that can be done for you. But, you know, with all that said, you know, my wife has thoroughly enjoyed music festivals. [00:50:45] Speaker C: Oh, my God, so much bass. [00:50:48] Speaker A: And now we're going to have to be going to more music festivals. [00:50:51] Speaker C: So much bass. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Which is why I want a, you know, travel trailer that I can pull with my forerunner. [00:50:59] Speaker C: So much bass. Like, even, like, I have a big ass sub in my car and that's no longer good enough. [00:51:07] Speaker B: Yep. [00:51:07] Speaker A: That's the problem with doing something like, that's expensive and nice. It's like, that's why I don't like shooting expensive guns. Because, like, the second I shoot expensive guns, my guns are like, garbage now. Like, Like, I don't want that anymore. [00:51:23] Speaker C: Oh, my God, so much bass. [00:51:26] Speaker A: It's like that's why you don't get your dick sucked by a professional. Because no one else can never compare. Because like, if you get your dick sucked by someone's like really good at it. You're not, you know, Candy or you know, whatever, you know, like, you're not Cassie. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:51:54] Speaker A: I mean, she got her college debt or her credit card, you know, bullshit paid. You must be a professional for that shit, you know. Good honor, though. But with that, we will let you all go. That is what we have been up to. My wife has been sick. We've been sick. Everyone's been sick. And then we went on vacation. So we'll be back to our normal scheduling, you know, every other week and yeah, until then, bye. [00:52:30] Speaker C: Bye. [00:52:30] Speaker B: Bye.