What?

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We're back again another week. Ah, we've made it. [00:00:12] Speaker B: Yep. [00:00:13] Speaker A: If you're listening to this, Trump's probably your president by now. Like, be real. And I honestly, I thought he was already the president. Like, I, I, I'm like, when was inauguration? It's like, inauguration's like next Monday. I'm like, oh, I don't know anything about human or about American politics at all. [00:00:43] Speaker C: I mean the president's just a figurehead. It doesn't matter who wins. [00:00:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, that's true, but I'm your host, Alex. The truck. That's my wife. And then we got not the truck. And then we got Courtney. All across the land currently burning down in California, say hello. She doesn't want to say hello. She's, she's burning to death. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Sorry, guys. [00:01:16] Speaker A: I mean like, I wake up. Oh, yeah, no, like, trust me, like I, I was taking a fat nap like leading up into the point. And like, thank God for my wife. Like, I don't think men would get most of this shit done like without like women. Like, like if it was just a lame. If America was only men, you know, there would be peace, but nothing would get done. It, it would be like, you know the days of like philosophiz philosophers in Greece where they're just sitting around and then, you know, they all get taken the over. It's like, hey, guess what? Romans are gonna come up all your. [00:02:14] Speaker B: Yep. Oh my. I know. So I found these blurs crayons and I really want them even though it's really, really shitty. [00:02:31] Speaker A: You found crayons? [00:02:34] Speaker B: So. Yeah, so basically they have for the color, the black colored crown. They have lives matter on it. For gray they have Auschwitz ash. For white they have privilege Jesus. For like a purple they have statutory great boner pill. Blue insufferable vegan green. Corporations are people too. Green baby green self identified blue, orange presidential. Your parents divorce was your fault. It's just hilarious. I really want them now. Oh, travel Ben Brown. [00:03:27] Speaker A: I like, I'm kind of excited to see, you know, what the brave new world will bring. [00:03:36] Speaker B: Mm. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Like I want Trump to just be like the most inclusive president ever. Just, just this term just to fucking throw like the lefties on their head back. What? He's like, I love, I love brown people. Mexicans are really hard workers. I really like them. They, they do good job of doing all the stuff he can't even like give out, you know, something that they do. He's like they're good at the things that they do and just goes through and it's like I, I love the Indian people and might as well just burn it all the ground like right at the end. Like America is doomed. The, the way I see it, you know, here in the future, everyone, like kids are just done. It's gonna be the cool thing to just have a cat or a dog at home and make this is my kid now. You know, if you bring a child into this world, you better be doing something to make America better. Well, like, like I, I, I firmly believe this. Like, if you're gonna be like, I want the generations to continue, do something to, you know, make the next generation to be better. But if not, let it burn. Who cares? I have cats. I'm never gonna have kids. I, I, I'll never have kids. [00:05:16] Speaker C: Nuh, I don't like kids. I feel terrible seeing that, but I don't like kids. They make me feel so uncomfortable. [00:05:25] Speaker B: Really? [00:05:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:05:28] Speaker A: Oh, kids ask. [00:05:29] Speaker B: I found them online, guys. [00:05:31] Speaker A: You found kids online? [00:05:32] Speaker B: No, I found the crayons. I found the crayons. They're called offensive crayons. And they've got like series, dude, they've got series. So they've got like holiday themed ones where it's trying to cook a little Jew and what, Yada yada, yada. Porn 1. I'm gonna get some. This is so funny. [00:05:56] Speaker A: They're just gonna have crayons that just say offensive and some. You're just gonna have like a black crayon that just says the hard R and it's like a. Well, you can't have that no more. [00:06:11] Speaker B: My black friend said this was Kwanzan. Expired eggnog. Oh, God. Ew. Frosty's throbbing erection. [00:06:24] Speaker C: Ew. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Ho ho ho. Home invasion red. Liberal snowflake tears. [00:06:34] Speaker A: I, I love liberal snowflake tears. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yes, I'm getting them. Oh my God. Bundled. They have a bundled five pack red, right? And you talk back. Oh yeah, I'm getting a bundled. [00:06:53] Speaker A: Just, you know, you're able to like color in a picture. George Floyd with these offensive crayons. [00:07:07] Speaker B: What's gonna happen? [00:07:11] Speaker A: You know, the human colored crayon? Just the peach just to color in. Derek Chauvin. [00:07:21] Speaker B: Yep. [00:07:23] Speaker A: You okay, babe? [00:07:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:26] Speaker A: She's like back there on her phone. [00:07:28] Speaker C: No, really, I'm looking up stick figures. [00:07:34] Speaker A: So I, I got, I, you know, did a dumb thing and I, I bought myself a 3D printer because, you know, the world's going to hell. Why not? And I don't see anyone Fucking realistically printing out 3D guns with this shit. [00:07:56] Speaker C: Are you disappointed? [00:08:00] Speaker A: No, no, I'm just stating, I'm just stating the fact that, you know, everyone was worried that, you know, oh, you can 3D print a gun and it's like, no, it's not a feasible option. I'm gonna say that right from the get go, 3D printing a gun will never, I, I tried to 3D print a knife and I, I'm still trying to get it out of its molding and I'm about to, you know, just give up on it and just try and reprint it. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Aren't you like, tools to help you with that? [00:08:43] Speaker A: I'm sure I'm just not going to, you know, use any of the proper ones. I'm gonna struggle, be on the struggle bus forever. I'm just sitting here. [00:08:55] Speaker C: It can be satisfying to brute strength something, though. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Well, I mean satisfying. I mean, like, I'm at the fucking, like last little bit and this reminds me of the fucking windshield that me and Tron did like a couple weeks ago were like, I, I spent like an hour just, you know, ever so gently getting the entire windshield out. Oh, it was fucking nice at the last little bit. Went and brute forced it. And then it's like, just breaks like that. [00:09:29] Speaker C: There's a place in time for brute force. I do agree with you, but it's still satisfying. And it's also kind of like relieving to not have to control how much force you're using. You're just able to think, oh, I want to do this without having to worry about holding your strength back. Huh? Yeah. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Wait, what? [00:09:58] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, so I, I, I, I printed a butterfly knife and it's a print in place butterfly knife. Like that, that's the whole thing with it. And so you, you have to like, you know, slowly, like get it the fuck out. And it kind of messed up a little bit trying. Kind of turned into some spaghetti and spaghetti upsetting for real, like, and it's just sitting here just mocking me as I'm like sitting here struggling with it. And like, the second I'm done with it, I'm like, this one's just gonna get scrapped because it's already up anyway. And I'm just, Come on. It's like this episode, it's like this, this, this. [00:10:57] Speaker C: Okay, move it closer to the mic. We can do an ASMR thing. [00:11:04] Speaker A: I mean, like, if I, if it was like fresh, you could hear like all the cracking, like, and that, like, that's good. I guarantee I'm going to stab the. Out of myself. And, like, oh, this episode ended with me going to the hospital and being in debt to the US Government for health insurance bills. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Man. What? [00:11:36] Speaker A: I'm, like, trying to figure out where, like, where is it holding on to? And I'm like, at this point, I'm just cutting all the way around it, just hoping that something eventually goddamn let goes. Oh, no. [00:12:04] Speaker C: I'm so sorry for your loss. [00:12:07] Speaker A: No, it's not lost yet. Not. Not all is lost. Ah, there we go. Got it. Ah. I've done it. It is out, and it is absolute trash. [00:12:24] Speaker C: It is trash. [00:12:36] Speaker A: But it's, like, a good feeling. Like, it's all right. So now I can get, you know, deep into the podcast of, like, the most random you're ever gonna hear. But, yeah, Monday, Trump is going to be elected, and everyone is worried that he's going to be assassinated on Inauguration Day. [00:13:04] Speaker C: I mean, wishes and prayers. [00:13:10] Speaker A: I mean, you know, you can't say that, babe. [00:13:13] Speaker C: I can't? [00:13:14] Speaker A: Nope. [00:13:15] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:16] Speaker A: Here's hoping, like, Trump is a good dude. [00:13:21] Speaker C: I don't fucking care. It'd be more exciting. [00:13:26] Speaker A: I. I mean, it would make it for a great movie. Yeah. Like, the second, you know, he gets assassinated, I guarantee you someone's gonna be like, yep, Trump was Antichrist. And, you know, they had to kill him, otherwise he was gonna bring on the apocalypse, which I'm kind of here for. I am kind of here for the apocalypse. Like, Courtney, are you ready for, like, the end of the world? [00:13:59] Speaker C: There's going to be a taxes in the apocalypse. [00:14:02] Speaker A: A what? Yeah, it's the end of the world. Of course, there's always death and taxes. [00:14:12] Speaker C: So there's no point. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:14:17] Speaker A: Like, I. I like to imagine, like, you get to heaven, you know, like. Like, if it was real, and if God was real, you get to heaven and God is like, okay, here's all your rewards. And like, one of the angels is like, and we're gonna tax that at 15%, and 10% is going to be your tithe. It's like, okay, I. I still have a mansion. It's like, oh, yeah, that's gonna get taxed at three and a half percent every year. It's like, there's taxes in heaven? Yes, honey. Bureaucracy is a. [00:15:00] Speaker B: It's like. [00:15:03] Speaker A: It's like, I'm gonna go to hell. It's like, oh, it's worse down there. There's still taxes, but it'll be warmer. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Come on. [00:15:12] Speaker C: It'll be warmer. [00:15:15] Speaker A: Like, my wife is the type of person that you know, could go to hell and then complain that it's too cold. [00:15:22] Speaker C: I more comfortably in extremes. [00:15:29] Speaker A: I mean, either it has to be. [00:15:31] Speaker C: The hottest hot when it's cold, or it has to be the coldest cold when it's warm. I don't like being in between. [00:15:46] Speaker A: No, it has to be just like a good medium temperature for everything. They're not gonna. [00:15:59] Speaker B: So what movies? What? What do you have any of the. Any anime of the. Or any news stories? [00:16:05] Speaker A: Oh yeah, I have tons. [00:16:09] Speaker B: All right. [00:16:16] Speaker A: And my first story, which I love. New bill aims to increase age for Illinois seniors to retake driving exam. Currently, Illinois seniors are required to take a driving test at 79 years old. But a new bill would push the testing age to 87. [00:16:42] Speaker B: Wait, what? [00:16:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. So like, is that to increase age? Yes. That's worse. That's way worse. [00:16:50] Speaker C: It is way worse. [00:16:53] Speaker B: So they wait longer to take a test. [00:16:55] Speaker A: Uhhuh. Yeah. [00:16:56] Speaker B: So they could be possibly on the road longer when they shouldn't be. [00:16:59] Speaker A: Uhhuh. Yep. [00:17:02] Speaker B: My. I. I felt so sorry. My grandma, my. Her ex husband, late husband, he stole the car and crashed it and the sheriff had to call my grandma and say, no, he stole the keys and he crashed it. I think that's what did it for her. A few months later he was in a nursing home because there was no way he took away her mode of transportation and it was so expensive for her to car to get fixed and stuff. Plus he was at fault too, so. [00:17:43] Speaker A: Well, I mean, you know, here's what I say, you know, after you hit like 70 years old Ubers, like within your own town, like Ubers and like ride shares, lifts, whatever the fuck you want to take. Buses should all be free to you, you know, just government subsidized. Subsidized, you know, cuz you're gonna like, what, use it for another 20 years maybe at best. [00:18:13] Speaker C: So when my grandma turned 60 legitimately, she was like, she said she was done with driving and I quote, I have grandchildren to drive me around. I ain't driving no more. And I was like, grandma, I respect that. I was just like, yeah, that's. Yeah, I respect that. I was like, yeah, grandma, I'll drive you wherever you want to go. I get to be the chauffeur. [00:18:38] Speaker A: The, the amount of times I'll see like the oldest people in like a class A motor home, you know, having no idea what they're doing. They're like, yeah, I just went out and bought a, you know, quarter million dollar fucking rv and they're just out there fucking driving. No cdl, no fucking experience, no nothing. [00:19:05] Speaker C: I think as well, you can just buy an RV without doing a cdl. That's just wild to me. [00:19:11] Speaker A: There's a movie by the same name, RV with I think Robin Williams. [00:19:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it's so cringe. [00:19:19] Speaker A: It. It is the cringiest movie. 100%. [00:19:22] Speaker C: It's so. And couldn't finish it. It was so bad. [00:19:27] Speaker A: And like there, there's. [00:19:28] Speaker B: What movie is it again? [00:19:30] Speaker A: It's rv. So. Oh, so like a dad. [00:19:35] Speaker B: The one where like they're trying to move weed and stuff in an rv. [00:19:41] Speaker A: No, no, it's way worse than that. It's not even that fun. Like it's a dad that's like, we're gonna go on a trip. And then he comes, you know, back to the house with a giant rv. He's like, we're going on road trip. And immediately takes out his mailbox and just starts crashing all over the place in this rented rv. [00:20:11] Speaker C: I forgot it was rented. Not owned. [00:20:13] Speaker A: It was a rented rv. Yes. [00:20:15] Speaker C: Totally forgot it was rented. Oh my God. [00:20:18] Speaker A: You know, like they get, they get to like the dump station and like, oh no, we're. We're full of. And so like they have to go dump it for some reason. There's like a pump and like that. That's not a thing. You just dump your black water tanks and it's done. You know, you use water to, you know, drain it the out and just like what? Because like he has like this giant like a bunch of tubes like all over the place trying to like get the poop water out and he ends up exploding it all over himself. I'm like, like that has never happened. Like, like somebody might have like left their black water tank open, but that's it. I mean people like leave their. Yes, some of these tanks are gross. [00:21:30] Speaker C: So whenever my dad had to drain the black water from our trailer, like, he'd always make my brothers get out and help him. And like every time shit went wrong and he got like all over him, like secretly, internally, I was so fucking happy that happened to him. I was like, yeah, fuck you, dad. You deserve that shit. Literal shit. God, it made me feel good inside. [00:21:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean it. Like I, I want to get a, like a fifth wheel trailer and you know, ideally just put it in the backyard for like the time being. But like when it comes time to it, you know, I can go buy some land, go develop it, go live in the, you know, rv and then build like whatever the I want. [00:22:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:30] Speaker A: Like I, I want to go live out in like in 40 acres. [00:22:36] Speaker C: I want to be within 20 minutes close to town. [00:22:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean that, that's all doable. Everything is very doable. Like I, I want, here's what I want. I want to be able to have a air port, like a Runway, like an airstrip, like a private airstrip. And be able to like shoot guns and, and be able to fly anywhere the I want to go. Like, I like, I want to be able to like wake up and be like, oh no, everything's going to here and then just bail. Or if everything's going great, be like, I'm gonna fly to California today, go see like my parents. You know, go out and go see Courtney. Like, I think you have like private airstrips out there. [00:23:40] Speaker B: Really? [00:23:41] Speaker A: I mean there's private airstrips all over the place. And if you have like a smaller plane, you can, you know, get a whole lot closer. Like, let's see, private airstrips, but yeah. [00:24:14] Speaker C: How much it costs to use. [00:24:17] Speaker A: You pay for, you know, storing your plane there like that. California private and public airports by county. I don't know what county anyone lives in. [00:24:42] Speaker C: You're not just going to select Sacramento? [00:24:46] Speaker A: Sacramento County? [00:24:48] Speaker C: Yeah, that's where everyone is. [00:24:50] Speaker A: I don't think that's a county. [00:24:52] Speaker C: Oh, you know what, you're right. I'm just thinking of the city. Is the city not in the county? Because it's so. That's annoying. [00:24:59] Speaker A: Yeah. This is all fucking counties. [00:25:03] Speaker C: I know. I realized that after you said it the second time. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Yeah, like Cameron Airpark Airport. You know, this is public. So this is over in Cameron Park. [00:25:17] Speaker C: There was a little airstrip there. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Uh huh. Yeah. Not little is huge. [00:25:26] Speaker C: Well, I meant little like cute, not like size. [00:25:31] Speaker B: Now it was. Isn't. Wasn't that on the smaller side? [00:25:34] Speaker C: It was on the smaller side. It was cute. [00:25:39] Speaker A: I mean it was pretty big. I mean, I don't think the size matters. [00:25:45] Speaker C: It was cute. [00:25:50] Speaker A: Let's see. Okay, so you live in that county. Let's see if I can find an airport by you. Yeah, there's tons. [00:26:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:13] Speaker A: So you have Banning Muni Airport. Bng use is public. You have Blythe. Oh man, that. That's a heliport. That's not even. Oh, that'd be fun to have a helicopter too. [00:26:40] Speaker C: Oh my God. One of my doctors at work, she's obsessed with getting a helicopter. [00:26:46] Speaker A: Like I, I have one. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Like really hard to fly. [00:26:50] Speaker C: No, says someone who's never flown one. [00:26:55] Speaker A: I mean for, you know, Kobe. They're hard to fly, but. [00:26:59] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:27:06] Speaker A: But for, you know, everyone else, for, you know, all us normies. Yeah, I'm sure it's pretty easy. I mean, what, what's the worst that can happen? You crash, then you're dead. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:27:23] Speaker C: Okay, I once thought statistic where they are, like, asking, like, people and apparently, like, per their statistics, over 70%, over 60% of men are convinced they could need to fly a plane if they needed to. [00:27:37] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [00:27:39] Speaker C: And I'm just like, I'm gobsmacked at that. [00:27:44] Speaker A: I, I feel like I could fly a plane. [00:27:47] Speaker C: See, you're part of that. You're part of it. [00:27:54] Speaker A: I mean, you're part of it, but that's okay. Okay, so, yeah, that like, this airport is 47 minutes away from your house. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:28:12] Speaker A: So, yeah, like, I, I could have like 40 acres, fly in, you know, and just drive immediately. Where the is it at? Over by Riverside. Hell yeah. I'm sure it's all burnt to the ground by now. What percentage are the LA fires contained? Are they called the palisade fires? That's great. 49 contained. Not bad. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:06] Speaker A: Is it just honestly, up in the mountains, no one cares. [00:29:16] Speaker C: Like, I'm just mad it's not burning towards Los Angeles. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Why? It's. It's all brick buildings. [00:29:22] Speaker C: I'm going to take out Hollywood that way. They have to start from scratch. [00:29:27] Speaker A: I mean, Hollywood's right here. [00:29:28] Speaker C: Precisely. It's burning the. It's going the wrong direction. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Hollywood people live in New York. [00:29:34] Speaker C: They could have just heard the fire. [00:29:40] Speaker A: I mean, it's right here by Santa Monica and that's where all the video games take place and are built, which, you know, upsets me. Yeah. Let's see how many people have died in the LA fires. Indirect death tolls. LA fires may end up in thousands. Knock it off. 27 people have died so far. [00:30:18] Speaker C: Okay, that's disappointing. [00:30:27] Speaker A: They try to protect their homes. Yeah, that, that's sad. Like, there was one family that had a son that had cerebral palsy and they couldn't evacuate. [00:30:42] Speaker C: They didn't just leave them. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Depending on how old the kid is. [00:30:50] Speaker C: Yeah, like, I know that sounds up, but like, that, they, they, they could have. [00:30:57] Speaker A: I mean, that, that, that's God giving him a mull again. Like, dude, like, you don't have to feel bad about this. I'm burning him. I, I'm killing him right now. He's going to be in heaven or something. You can do it again. Like, I, I have no idea why people have kids. Yes. If you would all just have left, you know, like, by this point, the news of the fires has gotten to me, you know, and the fires, I guess, are not moving fast. So this is, like, walk away. You have enough time to, like, put your cerebral palsy kid up in a fucking, you know, car, or, you know, pick him up in your arms. [00:32:02] Speaker C: There must have been extenuating circumstances. [00:32:09] Speaker A: He had His. His father used a wheelchair after his Lego was amputated last year. Year. And they refused to leave his son, who has cere cerebral palsy and could not walk. [00:32:23] Speaker C: Oh, so the dad was also a. Yeah, so. Oh, then it's fine. [00:32:30] Speaker A: Jesus. [00:32:32] Speaker C: I'm just saying. [00:32:37] Speaker A: I. I think they prefer to be called crips. [00:32:44] Speaker C: I meant to say crippled, but. [00:32:55] Speaker A: No, but like, Anthony and Justin Mitchell, these poor dudes, you know, like, the. The dude in the wheelchair could have, like, you know, rolled away and make. Ah, my kid. But he's like, I'll die here with you. Which is a sweet little sentiment. I mean, he could have put the kid in the fucking wheelchair. They could have both rolled away. [00:33:30] Speaker C: Will you pass me my beer? [00:33:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:38] Speaker C: Yeah. German chocolate. [00:33:48] Speaker A: My beer, too. [00:33:52] Speaker C: You mean your horse piss? [00:33:55] Speaker A: My horse piss? [00:33:56] Speaker C: Your horse piss. [00:34:02] Speaker A: I. I don't know why, you know, women hate IPAs, okay? [00:34:08] Speaker C: I hate IPAs. I don't think all women hate IPAs, but I am very, like. I have, like, the curly mustache sitting right here with my microbrew. Microbrew. Porter. So clearly I'm better. I need the hat, too, but for sure I have the mustache. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Oh, this other lady, Kelly, she was 83 and had already been through a major wildfire in the past. Okay? [00:34:43] Speaker C: So, yeah, that's like. That's like. That's like that. I'm also fine with that, too. I don't want to. I don't want to live. 83. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm just, like, going through, like, all the names and. Who's dying. 66. Victor Shaw, you know, Rodney Kent Nickerson, 83 years old. [00:35:05] Speaker C: What? What did you say? [00:35:08] Speaker A: Rodney Kent Nickerson. [00:35:10] Speaker C: Okay. [00:35:12] Speaker A: He's a white guy or Mexican guy. Okay. You know, you're over here. Former Australian star Rory Skies was born blind and had cerebral palsy. Died Jan. 8 after his mother said she was unable to save him from Burning Cottage. 32 years old. It's like, yeah, dude, you got delta bum hand. [00:35:49] Speaker C: Quality of life. [00:35:55] Speaker A: How are you gonna have a surfing photo and then just go into the water? You're dumb. God damn. Randall Moid. [00:36:09] Speaker C: Not a nice person. [00:36:12] Speaker A: 95 years old. Jesus Christ. [00:36:16] Speaker C: Yeah, if you're that old, what the are you gonna do after your house is burned down? Like, there's nowhere for you to go. [00:36:23] Speaker A: You just saved on cremation costs at that point. [00:36:29] Speaker C: Yeah. And no more taxes. [00:36:33] Speaker A: 69 years old. 84 years old. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:36:38] Speaker A: 70. 77 years old. 84. 85. 69, 56. Yeah, I mean, knock it off. You're not losing your best and brightest here. California. Like, I. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but, yeah, like, realistically, you know, you haven't lost anything, but on to the next story, you know, done with California. So is God. So apparently Native Americans are getting really mad at white people because they keep on eating their psychedelic cact. [00:37:37] Speaker C: I mean, that's fair. [00:37:39] Speaker A: Western's psychedelic renaissance is partly to blame for dwindling supplies of peyote, which produces masculine. Yeah, I'm not even trying that name. Jesus Christ. A native dude wrote It's Spiritual about the spiritual visions he had while taking the drug mescaline, the doors of Perception. While Hunter S. Thompson wrote during wrote of driving 100 miles an hour while under the. Its influence in the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Pretty much. In short, keep doing, you know, acid and shrooms. Stop fucking eating, you know, Indian cactuses. [00:38:32] Speaker C: Or can't they just grow their own? [00:38:34] Speaker A: They are very difficult to grow. They take, like, a few years to grow. [00:38:42] Speaker C: Oh, that's rough. How long did it take weed to grow? [00:38:48] Speaker A: Weeks. Yeah, you can, like, do a couple runs of weed. [00:38:58] Speaker C: It's been very well cultivated. [00:39:03] Speaker A: You know, every year. So, yeah, they're little, you know, cactuses. [00:39:16] Speaker C: Are there a type of cactus that look like stones? [00:39:18] Speaker A: Yeah, they're little, like, rock things. [00:39:21] Speaker C: Oh, my God, those things are so cute. Like, they're just fucking cute. I love succulents. [00:39:38] Speaker A: Now. I like me. Let me see. Actually, how long does it take for a peyote cactus to grow? [00:39:48] Speaker C: Oh, damn. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Yeah, peyote is a slow. Is a low growing small, solitary. Takes 10 to 30 years for it to mature and flower. [00:39:58] Speaker C: All right, so, yeah, that's. That's. Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Wow. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Yeah, give it a decade or so. [00:40:11] Speaker B: But is that just for, like, the first round, or does it produce every season after that? [00:40:17] Speaker A: No, that's it. It's a cactus. So, you know, you. You. It. You just have to, like, let it sit there for a decade, Mick, and not let it die in that decade. Just give the natives fucking acid and then just let them go. And I saw this dumbass story. Apparently Denver outlines school rules for potential ice raids. [00:41:10] Speaker C: Oh, My God. [00:41:15] Speaker A: And like it, it's a dumb thing because they're not going to come for the schools. [00:41:24] Speaker C: Why do people not understand this is the beginning of fascism? Like, why is everyone blind to this? [00:41:34] Speaker A: I mean, you know, my people have already gone through it. You know, I, I am a native. We, we, we have gone through the fascism before. We are used to it, hardened by it. Bring it on. So, yeah, apparently, you know, everyone's worried that Trump is going to just start, you know, targeting all these places that, or sanctuary cities and just start deportation. Because Trump has pledged the largest deportation in, in US History and suggested rolling black back. The long standing policies that restrict immigration enforcement that has sensitive, insensitive locations like schools. I mean, yeah, don't, don't come after, you know, people. Let them, you know, just stay here, it's fine. But if you're over here breaking the law, just deport them immediately. Yeah, I feel like that's fair. [00:43:07] Speaker C: How the fuck are Republicans supposed to top Trump in the next election? [00:43:14] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:43:15] Speaker A: By electing me. [00:43:16] Speaker C: Think about it. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Oh, because I'll be running. How fun would that, would that be if like I ran and only use like YouTube and like, you know, it's. [00:43:34] Speaker C: A good platform though. It's where it's at. [00:43:36] Speaker A: I mean, it's a great platform. And then did like open mics and like, I'm running for president. This is why you should vote for me. And then like only did open mics. Crushed it all the open mics. And get elected. It's like, I know I would never get elected because like, there's other things. You can't just get the popular vote. And then when it's like, we want Alex to be the president, like, thank you. Thank you very much. It's like, he's so racist. And he embraces it. I'm like, yes, yes, I am. He's like, and he's brown. So it's like, okay, that he's racist. You know us white devils, we're the worst. I'm like, yes, you guys are. I want to see, like, what are they like actually doing? Like, are they gonna, like, you know, lock the kids in the basement when ICE comes? Oh. Denver Public Schools enrolled more than 47,000 immigrant students from Venezuela, Colombia and Mexico last year. Well, Venezuela is very dangerous. Let them stay. Colombia is dangerous. Let them stay in Mexico's dangerous. Let them all fucking stay. Ain't nothing with brown people, especially here in Colorado. Let me see what Colorado means in Spanish. What does Colorado mean in Spanish? Colored red. [00:45:32] Speaker C: Oh, for red. Rocks. [00:45:35] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, everything here in Colorado is Spanish. [00:45:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I know, which is why when British theory pronounces road names, it's fucking hilarious. [00:45:53] Speaker A: I mean, like, I. I never have it pronounce anything. Like, I. I love when people, like, we have a town in Colorado called Saguache and it's, you know, spelled like S a D U, C, H E. Like Saguche. Saguache, Colorado. [00:46:18] Speaker C: Oh, that's not how I thought it was going to be spelled. [00:46:26] Speaker A: Like that. I'm S H E A S A G U A C H E, Colorado. [00:46:34] Speaker C: Oh, now that I see it spelled out, yes, it makes perfect sense. [00:46:38] Speaker A: So what? [00:46:40] Speaker C: Yeah, you're pronouncing the letters in English, but these letters are pronounced differently in other languages. Like, isn't she, like, silent? Or it makes, like a noise? [00:46:53] Speaker A: No, it's to watch. [00:46:56] Speaker C: Yeah, like, you don't pronounce the G. [00:47:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, well, like, I'm. I'm quite familiar with the town. There's like only like six people that live there, and the rest are just crackheads. And what. What's up? Is like, like the biggest thing that's happened there is like, there's a murder. Technically. [00:47:34] Speaker C: Technically, what is a technical murder? [00:47:39] Speaker A: What? It was my. My friend, he has like a business over there, and someone was like, up on his roof and then like a, you know, walking towards him with a. Like a bar and like swinging at him. He's like. Told him to get back a bunch of times, and he, like this crackhead just would not. And so he had to shoot him. And it like, took him like two years to get all his back. But he was found innocent. It was a good shoot. [00:48:22] Speaker C: Like, did he shoot the killer or did he like. [00:48:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, he killed the guy. [00:48:25] Speaker C: Oh, can he just like him in the leg and the dude, like, falls over? [00:48:31] Speaker A: No, this is not a thing at all that you could have done. Let's see. Murder in Sauatch, Colorado. Oh, I guess there's like, more people that have been getting murdered. [00:48:59] Speaker C: People get murdered everywhere. Everywhere. Constantly. [00:49:07] Speaker A: God damn. Like. Like, it doesn't even fucking, you know, come up anymore. Yeah, that. That's hilarious. Like, yeah, no, no one gives a. Anymore. [00:49:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:34] Speaker A: But yeah, there's this like this crazy old dude that just would never wear a shirt all summer long. Like, anytime I. I would go over there, you know, and just show up. You just be like, hey, Alex, what's up? You know, just like, shirtless and living his best life. Living his best life. I'm like, dude, you're everything I want to be. Except you're like in the middle of town. Like if you're on the outskirts of town and just had like a gun range, like, we'd be like the best of friends and I'd come out there all the time. But yeah, on a community moment. So watch. The name is derived from. Derived from the Indian word for blue water. Ah, Jesus Christ. Let's get into some Am I the? And all that. Am I the for a soft Leah key? Am I the for refusing to hype, hyphenate my name to add my stepdad's name? My mom and My stepdad asked me 16 female, and my sister 13 female, if we would hyphenate our last name to add our stepdad. To add our stepdads. My answer was immediately no. I didn't need to think about her. Sit on it for a while. I don't have my, I don't want to have my stepdad's name even if I'm keeping my dad's. This is my name too, and I won't ever change it. Yeah, you will when you get married. I know how they feel that they don't care if I'll get married one day. The name is staying. My sister said no after me. She said she didn't want to want to and she's. And didn't think that she needed it for anything. My stepdad looked so upset and my mom tried to sway us. She said it'd be a big change and it wouldn't be erasing our dad. It'd just be good way to represent both of them. She shared. She added a bit about sharing last name was in a way, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I didn't need us to share a name again. I said my answer wasn't changing. My sister faked being upset. So want to be pushed on her. She admitted to me one of my mom and stepdad went out for the night. She just got up to leave. My mom and stepdad wanted me to stay and talk about it more. They made all the points about my stepdad, blah, blah, blah, blah. It mean the world to him. So all in all. [00:52:51] Speaker C: Like, what? [00:52:54] Speaker B: It's the weirdest thing ever. [00:52:56] Speaker C: Okay, I do have to say, like, when your dad adopted you, your last name changed from Lopez to Pacheco and I could not be more grateful. [00:53:09] Speaker B: Imagine if it was Lopez Pacheco though. [00:53:12] Speaker C: I know, right? [00:53:13] Speaker A: Like, well, I mean, like here, here's the thing. [00:53:15] Speaker C: Like, it's like dip has like I. [00:53:17] Speaker A: I, I, I don't, I don't have any attachment. Yeah, well, you know, well, up. [00:53:26] Speaker C: He's not the. But continue. [00:53:32] Speaker A: My mom. My mom and stepdad have been married for six years. We lost our dad only a few months before that. Our parents were divorced, though, and she dated him two years before. We didn't meet him out until after our dad had died. So, yeah, your dad's dead. You don't need to, you know, replace your name. But, you know, my dad adopted me, and I'm happy for it. So. Yeah, I mean, I think this dude's weird. Yeah. To be like, hey, these are my step kids. Like, like, unless. [00:54:20] Speaker C: Why are last names so important? [00:54:24] Speaker A: I mean, like, if you want to get in, you have to get in early. You can't be like, hey, guess what? You're 16. You're two years away from moving out of the house. You want to change your entire identity? No. [00:54:37] Speaker C: Yeah. Absolutely not. [00:54:41] Speaker A: So, yeah, Opie, you're not the asshole. But, like, maybe if, like. [00:54:47] Speaker C: So does this imply he's also adopting them at the same time, or are they just changing their name? [00:54:53] Speaker A: Just changing the name. [00:54:54] Speaker C: Okay. [00:54:55] Speaker B: They're just changing their name. [00:54:56] Speaker A: Yeah. He's not adopting. He's not. [00:55:00] Speaker C: Yeah. This makes it even more weird. [00:55:06] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, so, like. Like, you know, I was adopted, so even though that my parents divorced, you know, my dad is still my dad. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Yeah. So that's how it should be. [00:55:25] Speaker A: I mean, this man is not putting his, you know, money where this mouth is him. And, you know, sorry, you. You got on the boat too late. [00:55:38] Speaker C: Like, this is so weird. And why is the wife on his side? [00:55:44] Speaker B: People are weird like that. [00:55:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:46] Speaker A: It's a control issue. [00:55:47] Speaker B: It has to be like a picture perfect family, you know, blended families. [00:55:54] Speaker C: Okay. [00:55:55] Speaker B: Plus, I guess you can't have kids. [00:56:01] Speaker A: I mean. I mean, you know, after you have, like, 16, you know, your old step kid, it's like having another kid. It's like. Yeah, it kind of sucks. It's like, I wish I knew, like, your parents ages? [00:56:19] Speaker B: My parents, like, 60. [00:56:22] Speaker A: Oh, no, not your parents. Oh, like, I know your parents. [00:56:28] Speaker C: I hope mine are dead. [00:56:30] Speaker A: No, your. Yours are not dead. [00:56:32] Speaker C: Damn it. [00:56:35] Speaker A: Like, anytime they send, you know, anything to the house, I throw it away. [00:56:39] Speaker C: Thank you so much. [00:56:42] Speaker B: Wait, so your parents still send you? [00:56:45] Speaker C: Yeah. It's pathetic. [00:56:47] Speaker A: It really. [00:56:48] Speaker C: It real. Quite honestly, it really. It is pathetic. They can't take a hint. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Wow. What do they send you? [00:57:03] Speaker C: I don't know. I never open it. That's what my therapist advised. And, like, you know what? That's sound advice. [00:57:10] Speaker A: I Mean, I open it. I, I know what it is. [00:57:13] Speaker C: That's perfect. [00:57:13] Speaker B: Can I ask? [00:57:15] Speaker A: Yeah. It's sappy letters saying, we love you. It's dumb. Like, that stupid. God, I'm like, send money. Send cash. [00:57:30] Speaker B: What about, like, has she tried sending me some weird stuff? No, like, the stuff from our travels and stuff. Becky has, like, a ton of different stuff that, like, she got when she was, like, actually happy. Alex's mom. Oh, that's her name. [00:57:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's interesting. [00:57:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Mom's name is Becky. [00:57:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, God. [00:58:11] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I, I've just, I've never known, like, I, I, I know her. You know her dad's name? I think it's Tem. [00:58:32] Speaker C: Yes. [00:58:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:58:34] Speaker C: Although my grandma called him Timmy, which he hated. [00:58:40] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that is so funny. [00:58:43] Speaker C: Yeah. And one time she called him Timmy. Tim. Tim. [00:58:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I was just singing that song. Oh, my God. [00:59:01] Speaker A: All right, so let's get into Relationship advice by Awkward Penguin 5639. And we'll go ahead and wrap this on up for, like, the, the weirdest episode we've done so far. My Aunt Phil for a scam. The other day, she received a call saying I was in jail and needed $3,000 for bail. She wants me to repay it since she claims she would never have given the money if it wasn't for me. I have never been in jail or had any issues with the law. I've never received a ticket. There is absolutely zero reason for her to believe that this was real. She has now told our entire family that I'm responsible for her losing this money. I am being pressured to give her 3,000. Not only am I responsible for her, her falling for the scam, I don't have the spare $3,000 laying around. How do I get her to stop telling people it's my fault and get my family off my back? [01:00:01] Speaker C: Can she dispute this with her bank? [01:00:04] Speaker A: No, you can't. [01:00:07] Speaker C: Because I fallen for a scam a couple times, and I was able to dispute it with my bank, and things were fine. [01:00:14] Speaker A: So, you know, things like this, they'll, like, send the money through, you know, some, you know, sketchy. It's for families. So, you know, send it, you know, as a family member, send it to this email. Oh, thank you, Grandma. And then it's just gone. Yeah, you, you know, hit, okay, you accepted all the terms, you know, now your money's just gone. You know, that, that, that sucks. [01:00:54] Speaker C: That sucks. [01:00:57] Speaker A: Here's the thing. Your aunt is 60. She's not 80. She's not senile. She shouldn't be this dumb. You know, I'm almost. You know, I'm your age, Opie. Any of my aunts should know better. So, yeah, you know, maybe she. She's just embarrassed that she fell for a scam. [01:01:32] Speaker C: I mean, the. In today's age, $3,000 is $3,000. But still, OP is not in the wrong. None of this is her fault. [01:01:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, but if you're, like. [01:01:44] Speaker C: Our level, like, lower, lower middle class, working, like $3,000 to $3,000, I mean. [01:01:51] Speaker A: If you were, you know, constantly in trouble with the law, you know, that would be one thing. If she's like, oh, okay, I'll help you out, you know, but you're not, from what you say. I. I love this comment. You should say that you did pay her back, but you actually, actually fell for a scam of someone pretending to be her, so now you're even. [01:02:23] Speaker C: That's br. [01:02:29] Speaker A: Start by talking to the family about how the scam targets elderly people and how you're extremely concerned that, yeah, she fell for it at such a young age. She doesn't seem to comprehend that you had nothing to do with it. Tell her. Tell everyone that it's her failure to understand that this is a strong indicator of early onset dementia and she may need a conservatorship for her own protection. Harp on it. [01:02:59] Speaker C: Damn, they're taking it all the way down. [01:03:02] Speaker A: And see how fast she shuts up. Yeah, I mean, yeah, this is probably good opportunity to talk with your family about protecting your aunt and anyone else that may need protecting. You know, make it a teaching moment. Have, you know, everyone kind of, like, pitch in a little bit of money, you know, to, like, you know, make her half whole again. You know, be like, hey, guess what? You. You lost, you know, $1,500 instead of the full 3,000 because everyone fucking pitched in, you know, 300 bucks or whatever. Yeah, that. That sucks. [01:03:49] Speaker C: No one should pitch the money in. This is her own fault for being stupid. No one should pitch money in. [01:03:58] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, for. For scams. Like, I. I. You know, I've seen a million of them, and I'm like, no, some of them are really good, though. You know, some scams are fucking excellent. Like, one of my favorite scams of all time is there was, like, a amusement park or something like that, I think. You know, think, like, the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk, and there is an empty lot, you know, kind of nearby, and some dudes set up a booth for $10 parking. He's just there every single day, you know, ten dollar parking. Every vehicle that came in, $10, $10, $10, you know, non fucking stop. And he was there for so long that no one even questioned it. Just kept on collecting $10 for every car. [01:04:57] Speaker C: And people, yeah, this dude is legend. [01:05:00] Speaker A: And at the end of like 20 years, just fucking up and disappeared. [01:05:06] Speaker C: Nice. [01:05:07] Speaker A: And people like, oh, yeah, this was never a paid lot. This is always free. [01:05:16] Speaker C: And then they're mad that they didn't get paid and they did absolutely nothing for it. And they also didn't bother to figure out who was signing the W2 forms. [01:05:27] Speaker A: No one. It was the cash, Lee. It was a cash business. [01:05:30] Speaker C: Precisely. How did, how did he declare all the cash? [01:05:35] Speaker A: You don't, you don't, you don't. [01:05:41] Speaker C: You have to declare cash flow since over like a certain amount if you want. [01:05:46] Speaker A: To pay taxes on it? Yeah, that's not the way to go about it. [01:05:50] Speaker C: But yes, I do not want to pay taxes either. [01:05:55] Speaker A: I mean, very easily. Yeah, you pay your taxes. You know, I'm not saying don't, but taxation is theft. [01:06:09] Speaker C: It is, okay? And we're being over taxed and 1% is being rewarded, so it makes it even more stupid. [01:06:22] Speaker A: So. But yes, if you have old people in your life, you know, inform them about the scams. Like look up the top 10 scams, you know, in the world and kind of inform them about them and, you know, communicate with them. That way they know that they can reach out and be like, hey, I think something's, you know, kind of up with this. Can I, you know, ask your advice? And they will, they'll, they'll reach the out and make. I think, you know, this is kind of up, you know, do you think this is a scam? And you'll be like, yeah, it's definitely a scam. And you can save your grandma from, you know, losing all her money. [01:07:09] Speaker B: Yep. [01:07:11] Speaker A: It's like that movie Yellow Jackets that we watched or what? No, the Beekeeper. The Beekeeper. That's it with Jason Statham. And like there's the old church lady that lost everything. Lost all the churches and money and everything. Then she kills herself. Then Jason Statham's like, oh, you. And then comes and kills them all. But that'll be it for this episode. Yeah, it was the most disorganized episode where we've done to date. And we'll be back next week. Bye.