Vacation Mode

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome to another episode, a special episode. This week, I have a special guest. I'll introduce him at the end. But it's someone that my mother would hate on this podcast. Not one of her ex husbands, not one of her ex boyfriends. Her very own little baby. My little brother. I won't say his name because he is a professional. In the professional world, he is a good man. He has college degrees, PhDs, maybe, who knows? But welcome, everybody, to my brother. Say hello. [00:00:51] Speaker B: I think he might have been off for a while. [00:00:53] Speaker A: No? [00:00:55] Speaker B: All right. That is. I think it still picks up because I was talking kind of loud. But is there anything specific you want to talk about? [00:01:04] Speaker A: So let's talk about our parents. [00:01:05] Speaker B: Okay. I'm glad I know it's up for the juicy part. I'm just gonna say something. If it didn't pick up. Yo, what's up? This dude's younger siblinghenne. Yeah. That's all you need to know. [00:01:24] Speaker A: I mean, these. These mics pick up, like, pretty. Pretty goddamn well. [00:01:29] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I was talking and I saw it bouncing up, and then I was looking down. I was like, I don't think I turn it because I just assumed it was on because I saw it making movement. But now I realize it was going through your mic, not mine. [00:01:47] Speaker A: We have to start all over, then. [00:01:48] Speaker B: Oh, no. I mean, it's like, whatever, but, yeah. [00:01:56] Speaker A: Let'S talk about our parents. I'm sure I can do some magic with it, but, yeah, I mean, so I remember when I was real little, dad adopted me. It's probably like fucking eight or ten, you know, took over the lease on a child. He's like, ah, this should be easy. And it's like the worst fucking shit in the world for him was like, this is the most awful thing in the world. Maybe if I have my own, this will be easier. And so, you know, he goes and fucking plugs mom with fucking two more kids. You and, you know, the youngest. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:40] Speaker A: Um, he's like, this is not easier. This is just triple hardness. God damn. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Well, they didn't really space us out enough. We're very similar in age. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I was twelve years older than all you. [00:02:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:57] Speaker A: So twelve and 14 years older. And I'm like, oh, man. Like, I remember, you know, you coming home, like, I'm gonna beat him so bad. [00:03:10] Speaker B: Thanks. [00:03:14] Speaker A: In Mario Kart. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Yeah, Mario Kart. [00:03:19] Speaker A: But I'm like, they can't do anything. They're useless to me. They're crying shit machines. Why would I want this? I'm like, you take care of that. And then they'd be like, go change, Teddy. And I'm like, oh, this is awful. And then you peed over my shoulder and hit mom. You know, like, as I was changing her diaper, just, like, hit her, like, right in the fucking, you know, face. I'm like. Like, oh, man, this is. I don't. I don't want fucking kids. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:58] Speaker A: And then. Then Anthony came home. Mom was like, good. A brown one. [00:04:08] Speaker B: She's probably not expecting me to be so white, to be honest. [00:04:13] Speaker A: You were blonde when you first came out. [00:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Turns out mom is, like, part scandinavian, so that could probably help explain some of the blonde. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Oh, dad. [00:04:26] Speaker B: Yeah, it was all that. [00:04:28] Speaker A: It's like, have you seen, like, baby pictures of dad? [00:04:32] Speaker B: You know? Yeah, I know. I looked exactly like him, but, like, I think that's the reason my hair is still a little blonde, is because of that. It's not. It used to be way blonde. It's not. [00:04:41] Speaker A: I don't know if you're dirty blonde. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Dirty ball. I was gonna say it's more brown now, but, yeah, I wish it was blonder. That'd be cooler, but that's what it is. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Blonder. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Nah, that's, like, gay and shit. [00:04:57] Speaker A: You're in California. [00:04:58] Speaker B: Yeah, doesn't matter. But, like, I'm not gay and shit. No, it's. It'd be cooler if it was blonder, but, like, I'm cool with it. So it's like, whatever. [00:05:12] Speaker A: My mom would love that. It would be. Mom would love a gay kid. [00:05:17] Speaker B: She would. And she's so disappointed that none of us are gay, so I'm like, sorry. [00:05:23] Speaker A: Mom, I only get fucked in the ass by the government. [00:05:27] Speaker B: Yeah, she's probably told you the story where she loves to tell. It's her favorite thing, where I just sit her down when I go, mom, I'm not gay. Just. Just letting you know because. Oh. Like. Because I met a lot of her friends and stuff, and they're like, I respect them, but they're gay. And, like, all this other stuff, I'm just not really used to. Because we're not in that kind of area. [00:05:50] Speaker A: No, I am. [00:05:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I wasn't used to it, but I was like, this is uncomfortable, but I'm not that, mom. Just letting you know, hands straight, you know? Straight. Straight to your face. I'm not gay. [00:06:01] Speaker A: See, like, what's great is, like, I'll have gay friends, and they'll try and, like, wig me out with some gayness. Those just, like, try and, like, hit on me, and I will take it to ten. I'm like, I don't care. And just, you know, fucking wig them the fuck out. Yeah, like, oh, you mean you're so handsome, and I'll just, like, pin them against a fucking, you know, wall back. Fuck you until you love me. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. [00:06:29] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like, I think. I think she does have a gay sign. I think we just found it. Boom. [00:06:41] Speaker A: It's. [00:06:41] Speaker B: It's over. You got one. [00:06:43] Speaker A: You got one. You pulled a Mike Tyson move. [00:06:50] Speaker B: Yeah, no, sorry. [00:06:52] Speaker A: I'm married to a lady now. [00:06:54] Speaker B: Yeah, you can't be gay. Cause you have a wife or she's just my beard. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Just fuck men on the side. [00:07:01] Speaker B: She's your cover? No, she lives a very different lifestyle from me and the lifestyle she wanted. [00:07:12] Speaker A: To live, like, before we were all born, pretty much. I'm like, good. Go do the things that make you happy. You know what makes me happy? Drinking beer, playing call of duty. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say, like, she somehow raised the most. Not the most, but a pretty straight laced child. I don't know. It's. It's weird. [00:07:33] Speaker A: Name me. I'm not like. I've learned lessons throughout my life, and, yeah, everything has been just more and more lessons, and it's fine. [00:07:49] Speaker B: You've had to learn a lot of lessons, though. [00:07:53] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, I've gotten away from cops. I mean, now. Now I'm a good boy. And now I'm in my thirties now to, like, grow up. Like, I see other people my age. It's like, yeah, I own a business. It's like, yeah, I have three houses. It's like, oh, Mandy. Like, all my friends just, like, wildly rich. Like, yeah, I have 200,000 in my 401k. I'm like, oh, no. Yeah, this is awful. I need, you know, to be a better person. Like. Like, mom. Like. Like, when she was younger, you know, she was sewing her wild oats, and then she, like, went and did college. I remember her doing college. [00:08:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:08:45] Speaker A: She did the online college and just sat in front of a computer. Just. I'm like, oh, that seems boring. What are you doing? [00:08:53] Speaker B: She's still doing it. She's almost done, but she's. [00:08:56] Speaker A: I thought she already had her masters. [00:08:58] Speaker B: No, like, with all of it, she. I think she's, like, right now is finishing. Like, she has, like, one or two more classes or. She finished it, like, recently, finally. [00:09:10] Speaker A: How great would it have been if she, like, graduated? Like, she, like, took her last classes at your college? [00:09:15] Speaker B: I would have been so not happy with her. [00:09:19] Speaker A: I'm here with my baby boy, and we're graduating. [00:09:22] Speaker B: I would hope they wouldn't let her in. Like, just don't let her in. [00:09:27] Speaker A: I. She's in the graduating class. [00:09:30] Speaker B: I would be so upset. I would be like, mom, what? Why have you done this to me? [00:09:37] Speaker A: Gets, like, the salutatorian or valedictorian and gets a speech and is like, I'm giving this speech for my baby boy right there, and just, like, calls you out by name. It's like, oh, no, mom. Why would you do this? [00:09:52] Speaker B: It's so annoying, too, because she technically has a better GPa than me. Like, barely, though. And it's so annoying. [00:09:59] Speaker A: I don't know what my GPa is. It's probably, like, two. [00:10:03] Speaker B: Well, I tried, like, pretty hard in college, so I got a good gpA. It was, like, 3.8. Like, it was pretty fucking high. And she's like, oh, yeah, I. I got a. I have a higher GPA than you, Teddy. I was like, fuck. God damn it. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah. There's times where I'm like, I should go back to college. I should, but will I. [00:10:28] Speaker B: No. If you do do online, and, like, you will either hate it after the first class or you're gonna like it, and then you'll know. [00:10:39] Speaker A: I mean, I already hate it. Like, everything about college, it's all dumb. Like, my roommate did, you know, college, and he's still doing college, and. Yeah, he moved out to, like, live in the dorms, and he's like. It's like a love hate relationship. Like, I. You know, I'll enjoy where it gets me to in the end. Yeah, it gets me there. [00:11:12] Speaker B: Yeah. No, my goal is to get the degree to do this specific job, and I'm doing the specific job. So my. My degree, my pathway, which is construction management, is. If. I wouldn't say it's the hardest in the world. Like, math is definitely harder and shit, but, like, if you stick with it, you'll find a job. Like, it's really hard not to. You have to be really fucking dumb. I'm not gonna lie. I know a guy who I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you graduated. It took him, like, five years or something. I was like, dude, I would be a little scared to be any building that you've helped manage. But, like, that. [00:11:53] Speaker A: That's how the managers actually do anything. They just sit there and they're like, no, the workers actually do it the correct way. [00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I mean. It's just like it's his job to oversee, to make sure stuff is happening right. And they're supposed to plan out orders of stuff. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Sometimes, like people are like good at one skill only and it's like, okay, cool. [00:12:17] Speaker B: I had classes with him for two years. He's smart enough, but I know what you mean. Some people are really good at one thing. He was really good at smoking pot and having a good time, but he was fun to be around. [00:12:32] Speaker A: But then he'll get fired somehow. [00:12:35] Speaker B: He hasn't, though. He. [00:12:38] Speaker A: Then you know, somebody that. That's nepotism for you. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Well, the company is working for. It doesn't know. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, I'm gonna work, you know, for dad's company. Like, I just, I do this one specific thing. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:57] Speaker A: It's like, I don't own a company. I work a job. It's like, yeah, I'll work for you. [00:13:03] Speaker B: Yeah, nepotism is so cool when it's like, happening for you, but like, I. Anybody else, it's like, fuck you. I hate you. I hate you so much, you know? [00:13:11] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like when I worked in the oil fields, that, that was the entire leadership. It was the owner's friends. And so I'd call them up with like an actual question that was like. [00:13:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that they should know that. [00:13:25] Speaker A: It was like, you know, on the, on, like I need confirmation to go through. I'm like, hey, this, this, you know, rotor stator combinations, like off by like, you know, 14 thousandths of an inch, you know, do you think, you know, that's okay? And they make. What does that mean? I'm like, dude, this is all we do. Rotor stator CV's, you know, all of it. Fucking. Do you not understand every last detail of this organization? Because I do. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you think if it. Because the oil fields collapse, like, if, if you were the one they stay on, do you think you would have stayed in the oil fields or do you think you still would have left? Or. [00:14:18] Speaker A: I'm sure the shop closed, you know. [00:14:20] Speaker B: I mean, like, if they're like, okay, Alex, you're a really good employee. We want to keep you around. What do you mean? Like, yeah, I'll stick around this dying business or what do you left, do you think? [00:14:28] Speaker A: I mean, if they'd have kept me at the bay. Yeah, sure. That bay in the hours, but other than that, no. [00:14:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:38] Speaker A: I mean, like the. The only reason that anyone lived in North Dakota is because, like the insane pay. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker A: Like people working at fucking dominoes were making like 26 an hour yeah. [00:14:51] Speaker B: And it's all because of oil was coming out of there. Yeah. [00:14:55] Speaker A: Fucking female baristas out there. Easily cracking, like, a hundred thousand in tips. [00:15:01] Speaker B: Goddamn. Yeah. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Like, it was like 20 to one for the females out there. [00:15:08] Speaker B: Yeah. So you only reason you're out there is to work, and you're like, damn, there's a. There's a one female that's hot. And, like, the next 10 sq? Mi. Dude. [00:15:16] Speaker A: Yeah, dude. Like, seriously, like, you'd see, like, a hot, like, female, like, waitress or something and, like, you know, dude, slap down a, you know, call me. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:15:28] Speaker A: It's like, oh, shit. God damn. You know, that. That's like, if I had tits, I'd utilize them. I mean, I do, but. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, yeah, like, it's like. [00:15:42] Speaker A: Like a little. Little tit. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Yeah. They're all hairy. They're not. They're not that kind of. But now, I mean, shit. [00:15:54] Speaker A: Like, you know, I know a few gay guys that have, like, vacation homes and, like, cool toys. It's like, if all I had to do is, like, suck a couple dicks to, like, get all that, I'm like, yeah, I'm in. [00:16:06] Speaker B: Nah, dude, that's. That's too gay. [00:16:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you know, it's not too gay if you're in prison. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's like, you're forced to. You're. You're actively sucking a dick. You're sucking cock to go on vacation. [00:16:24] Speaker A: Like, to own a house. Like, imagine a dude's gonna give you a maserati. Okay? He's gonna give you. And all you have to do, just suck his dick. He is a clean dick. He's young. He's not like a you hefnere. Just like, a dude your age. He's like, yeah, I have a billion dollars. I'll give you a car. I want a blowjob. And it's like, you know, you have to really realize what the worth of your fucking blowjob is. [00:16:55] Speaker B: That's an expensive blowjob. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Yeah, for him. [00:16:59] Speaker B: Yeah, for him. He doesn't care. [00:17:03] Speaker A: And then, you know, you're just sitting here fucking making, you know, money off of, you know, stupid gay people that don't exist, because that will never happen. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Yeah, will never happen. [00:17:15] Speaker A: Like, you know, he's not gonna be like, I'll get a mediocre blowjob from a straight dude and give him a maserati. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's just weird. I. I guess people do have that fantasy of, like, oh, no. Like, I'll just, like, bang some dudes and I'll get a bunch of money, but no. Yeah, that's a pass on me. I'm not. I'm not gonna suck a cock for a car. I don't. I don't need to, so I don't have to, so I won't. [00:17:47] Speaker A: I feel like after the first one, it, like, gets easier. [00:17:51] Speaker B: I mean, would, you know, he sucks a couple cocks? [00:17:55] Speaker A: Only the cock of the government. [00:18:01] Speaker B: But. [00:18:01] Speaker A: It'S like, you know, getting a kiss after a blowjob, it's like the same thing. [00:18:09] Speaker B: I don't think so. [00:18:10] Speaker A: It's the exact same thing. [00:18:11] Speaker B: I'm not gonna lie, dude. [00:18:12] Speaker A: It's worse. [00:18:13] Speaker B: It's worse? [00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah, she's, like, sucking her dick, come in her mouth, and then she comes up and gives you a kiss, you know? And if she, like, you know, stuff some in your mouth, it's called a snowball. And that's, like, the worst. That's when you know. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Have you been snowballed? [00:18:30] Speaker A: Never. I'd be in jail. [00:18:35] Speaker B: Oh, wait, did you have to do gay stuff in jail? [00:18:39] Speaker A: I wasn't in jail. I was in a mental institution. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you went to jail and I just never knew. [00:18:46] Speaker A: No. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:18:48] Speaker A: No. Like, I went to the puff unit. The psychiatric health facility. PHF called it the puff unit. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Puff unit. I'm guessing that just means a lot of padded cells. [00:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah, two. [00:19:03] Speaker B: Oh, really? I thought there'd be more. [00:19:05] Speaker A: No, it's like, you know, each room had, like, two beds, and they're like, here, go talk to the doctor. And he's like, here's some bridges you can jump off of, you crazy motherfucker. I'm like, all right, cool. This has been productive, you know? But are you gonna drop me off of those bridges or you just gonna drop me off where you found me and, like, this is all just a big waste of your fucking time? He's like, take these drugs. I'm like, okay. [00:19:37] Speaker B: I feel like it was way cooler to be a mental. In a mental institution when they just, like, did, like, fun experiences, experiments on you. Like, now, are they allowed to do that as much? Do you know? Like. Because, like, you said they made you take drugs, but, like, they didn't do. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Like, electric shock therapy. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I mean, is, like, it's not fun for the patients, but for the doctors, you know, it's at least more interesting than interesting for all of us. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Like, so I was on a 72 hours hold, and, like, in that 72 hours, I met someone that had slit their wrist, survived, and said that the government owes them $7 billion for alien experiments that were done on them, and they'd scream all night about it. They just sit in the hallway, just the government. And right in front of the bathrooms, too. So it's like every time you had. [00:20:31] Speaker B: To go take a piss, you couldn't avoid it. Yeah. [00:20:35] Speaker A: You know, like, talk to this crazy person. There was a dude named Hideo, really old dude in there. I don't know why he was in there. We talked about chaos theory, string theory. Did God have a belly button? Just like. I'm like, why are you here, hideo? And, you know, he's like, this, like, fucking indian dude. He's like. Because in, like, I'm sure you just had, like, an incident and, like, just. That ended him there. Like, fuck. There's a dude that had duct taped pants. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Like, fully made out of duct tape. [00:21:23] Speaker A: No, like. Like, they're like. Like, just shredded pants, but, like, they had, like, duct tape all over them. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Oh. [00:21:28] Speaker A: Like a shoestring for a belt. And it was his religion. [00:21:32] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. That's crazy. That's, like, crazy crazy. [00:21:36] Speaker A: Like, you know, like, he came in fucking wild. They threw him in the padded cell, but after they let him out, you know, he had to explain it. He's like, this is my religion. And the reason I was fighting was because they wanted to take away my belt. [00:21:51] Speaker B: The shoestring. [00:21:52] Speaker A: Yeah, the shoes. For obvious reasons. Yeah, but I got to keep my shoe strings. I'm like, okay, I guess. [00:22:03] Speaker B: Yeah. So do you mind saying why you were thrown into the. [00:22:08] Speaker A: Cause? I was having a really bad fucking day, okay. My girlfriend had broken up with me after I found out she was cheating on me. I was homeless at the time, and just. Oh, yeah, let's just end it all. [00:22:22] Speaker B: Mmm. Okay. Damn. [00:22:27] Speaker A: It's like being sad over a high school girlfriend. And I'm like, oh, what a fucking dumb shit. [00:22:37] Speaker B: I think you're allowed to be sad over stuff like that, but, like, it's kind of weird that they were like, yeah, actually, I guess it doesn't make sense to three in there. [00:22:47] Speaker A: No, like, there's a few people in there. They're just having a bad fucking day. Ended up in there. I was one of them. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:56] Speaker A: And there's, like, no outreach afterwards, so, like, they just like, okay, yep, you're. You're a sad boy. [00:23:04] Speaker B: All right, go. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Yeah, and they just. They just sent me the fuck off. And I'm like, oh, shit. Okay. [00:23:13] Speaker B: But so did they drop you off at a yemenite? [00:23:18] Speaker A: No, they dropped me off at the place that they found me. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Where did they find you? [00:23:23] Speaker A: Like, they found. Oh, like, I was at, like, a modular on my friend's property. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:23:35] Speaker A: So I just stay. [00:23:36] Speaker B: You're just staying somewhere? They just fucking nabbed you and then. [00:23:40] Speaker A: Yeah, two cops came up onto the property, guns drawn. One went in the front, one went in the back, and I'm like, oh, shit. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I've never, never had the cops calling on me. There was a fire department once, but that was because the neighbor was an asshole. [00:24:03] Speaker A: But they're having a barbecue and I'm a vegetarian. [00:24:09] Speaker B: It was like midnight and we were drinking and we had, like, a little bonfire going and we had to burn a bunch of leaves and make you go quicker. Use a leaf blower. Like, a little blower. And it made the fire jump up pretty big, which is like, yeah, but they called the fire department on us to be like, hey, guys, don't fucking do that, and some shit. But we think they're upset because it was late at night and they're just being pussies. [00:24:33] Speaker A: So it was like, 02:00 a.m. and they're mad that we were running a leaf blower, drinking, laughing, and having a good time. These people had to get up at 04:00 a.m. and you are just keeping them awake. What a dick for calling the fire department. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Yeah, the reason we were calling them dicks is because, like, we lived there for two years and we were very respectful because, like, we would chart our stuff. So, like, this is, like, the one time we were allowed outside on, like, a random Tuesday, and we're like, dude, fuck you, whatever. [00:25:06] Speaker A: Come out and deal with your own shit. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And because the reason we knew was him is because he came out of his house. He didn't come out as he opened up his window. Okay. Hey, guys, um, that fire looks a little big. Maybe don't do that. And we're like, it's fine, dude. Like, we have water right here. [00:25:24] Speaker A: That point. Yes, sir. [00:25:28] Speaker B: Yeah, no, we did. We're like, yes, sir. We got water right here. Like, we have a hose in case it gets out of hand, but shrinks away. Like, God damn, dude. Why do you have to call the fire department? [00:25:38] Speaker A: Like, it's gonna be hilarious. Like, once, like, the government collapses and, you know, 911 is like, this number is no longer in service. Yeah, it's like, who are you gonna call now? They're like Ghostbusters and they're dead too. Yeah, they're all ghosts. They ghost busted them. [00:26:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I feel like with most things, like, the one thing, the one service that's always like, I think kind of more important than the others is like the fire. Fire paramedic is like further ones. Like, you can go get, like, some random dude to help you. You know, like if, like, 911, a dude with a gun, you know, that's what he is, is a dude with a gun that you trust. [00:26:26] Speaker A: 911, a dude with the gun? [00:26:28] Speaker B: Pretty much, yeah, man, that's gonna be. [00:26:30] Speaker A: A great rap when I finish it. [00:26:32] Speaker B: Oh, dude. Yeah. Is there be a lot of profanity and talking about why you either like or don't like him? [00:26:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:40] Speaker B: Well, here's a question. If you made a rap about the police, would you go pro police or anti police? [00:26:45] Speaker A: I go pro some police. [00:26:48] Speaker B: That would be the most boring rap. Yo, fuck. Fuck some of the police. But some of them were like, really cool, dude. [00:26:53] Speaker A: I swear, it's like, Officer Archuleta is the best. The rest of you can take a bullet to the vest. [00:27:02] Speaker B: Except for that one that was really hot yesterday. She's hot. Give me a call, lady. You know, dude, it's funny because I was. I was so. Tried to get her to ticket that one person, cuz, like, fuck it. This would be really funny. And she's like, oh, fire lane shit. Like, no, you're just waving at you. Also, she thought me going like this, like, because I just briefly pointed down twice, like, when she drove by and she, like, freaked the fuck out. Almost crashed, dude. I was like, holy shit. She's, like, not a good driver. [00:27:33] Speaker A: She's a woman. She's also brown, but a brown woman. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Mom wants you to marry a Mexican. She has said that multiple times. [00:27:43] Speaker A: Marry whoever you want. [00:27:45] Speaker B: I know, but she said, teddy, don't marry anything with don't marry your redhead. They're crazy. And go get yourself a hard working mexican woman. And I said, okay, mom. And I rolled my eyes and I walked away. Cause she says some out of pocket stuff sometimes. And I'm like, that's unprompted, mom. [00:28:05] Speaker A: Mom just wants you to marry someone that works at a hotel cleaning rooms, probably. [00:28:11] Speaker B: She'd be all right with that. [00:28:13] Speaker A: And then that way you can take care of her. [00:28:15] Speaker B: And she like, mom wants me to marry a maid. So mom has a maid. [00:28:23] Speaker A: She's like, come on over. And she's like, yes. Like, mom thinks she's mexican. I'm like, you are Blanca. [00:28:32] Speaker B: What is much a blanca? She is. And she has the last name right now. Be white, too. So, like, I. I always jokingly tell because I have a lot of mexican friends. I always jokingly say, like, hey, dude, I'm. I'm one of your brothers. I'm mexican, dude. I got brown. I got a brown mother. And they're like, dude, no fucking way. [00:28:53] Speaker A: You should, like, just send him a picture of me and be like, this is my brother. [00:28:57] Speaker B: This is my brother, dude. But, yeah, I'm a person of color. I want it to be known right now. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Everyone know that. My brother Neal, you can call him the n word. [00:29:15] Speaker B: You can say it. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, not on the open. [00:29:20] Speaker B: So I don't say it when the windows are open, but, like, yeah, like when you're call of duty, you know. [00:29:26] Speaker A: Around your other white friends, and you're. [00:29:28] Speaker B: Just like, hey, hey, they're all mexican. I get a lot of shit, cuz I. If I. If I drink a little too much, I might throw it around a little too much, you know? But, you know, I don't hard r it. [00:29:41] Speaker A: Oh, I. Like, I had a podcast before with my roommate. He's black, too. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:29:51] Speaker A: And he'd be like, you have the permission. I'm like, you're gonna hit me? [00:29:56] Speaker B: Yeah, he would hit you, dude. [00:29:58] Speaker A: They, like, you're just gonna, you know, make, you know, the permission. How dare you see that word? [00:30:05] Speaker B: I mean, if I buy. I buy the album and they say it in the music, I'm allowed to say it, right? Like, I know that's like. It's just like a serious question. Like, if I'm rapping, which this white boy can't rap, but, like, fuck the. [00:30:19] Speaker A: Police coming straight from the underground. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Or some shit. I don't know. I don't. I don't listen to rap. I found out I'm kind of racist when it comes to rap. The only. The only rappers I like, her two white dudes. So who? Eminem and this random dude named Connor Price. [00:30:37] Speaker A: Oh, you'd love Harry Mac. [00:30:39] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:30:40] Speaker A: That fuck is another white guy dude. All I know who Connor Price is. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I stumbled upon his cuz I was trying to make a. I was listen to, like, smooth by Santana and, like, smooth operator and smooth criminal. So I was like, I wonder how many other smooth songs there are. And so I just typed that in. That came up with snow. Damn, this shit. This shit's good. [00:31:00] Speaker A: Yeah, no, fucking, like Harry Mack. He's like a freestyle artist. He did, like, a bunch of omegle raps where you get on omegle and fucking be like, give me three random words. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Okay, yeah, yeah. [00:31:12] Speaker A: And then fucking go the fuck off. I'm like, oh, shit. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:16] Speaker A: And then he'd like be walking down Venice beach and be like, give me some random words. Words. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Is he the guy that like has a big like, deck on him or is he just like. [00:31:26] Speaker A: No, he's just a random dude. Little speaker and just beg, yo, give me three random words. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Okay. Cuz there's this one dude that would have like this big old backpack and like a full on dj deck. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah, none of that. Yeah, you just have some beats on his phone, just, you know, off the top of the dome just be spitting straight fire and people would like, big. No, he's fucking bullshitting. [00:31:51] Speaker B: No. [00:31:52] Speaker A: And then he just do it live. And I. Shit. Fucking genius. [00:31:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I actually lied. I might not be racist. There's one black artist I like other than like the Jay Z fuck, dude, didn't he like, that's Chris Brown. I was like, didn't like smack some fools or something like it probably. Oh, no, did he? Oh, dude. Did he? That stuff is weird. [00:32:17] Speaker A: Like, everyone on Call of Duty right now. Like, do you play Call of Duty? [00:32:21] Speaker B: Not recently, but yeah, I played a lot of call duty. [00:32:24] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Now they have like, rules that you're not allowed to say in words. [00:32:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, I knew that. Yeah, well, it's like PlayStation now. It's allowed to voice chat track you and use AI to see what you're saying. And that was. So there's the game I do play is like Helldivers and there's this whole thing where the PSN wanted to be able to record voice chats and then monitor them to, like, for like bad words and stuff. [00:32:56] Speaker A: You're playing an m rated game? [00:32:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And so the. My favorite game ever almost completely died because Sony, a bunch of cucks, decided we want to force our will on PC players. And I fucking hate him for it. But yeah, I'm not racist because I like this one guy named K Reno, but I also only like two of his songs. The rest of them are too black for me, so, you know, but I'm not super racist. So we're good. [00:33:27] Speaker A: He's like, just enough. Just a dash eraser. Like when God was making him just. Just a dash. And for me, they're like, just a debt. Oh, no, the cap fell off. Oh, no shit. He's voting for Trump right now. He's a baby. Trump's not even running. He's voting. Oh, no. Dale Earnhardt Junior. Oh, shit. Praise Dale. Praise hale. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Praise Dale. No, I mean, like, if I'm walking on the street. I see like a ragged looking black dude. I might, you know, throw a spoon at him. Throw a spoon. No, but I mean, like, have you. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Ever heard of spoons? [00:34:05] Speaker B: No, like, throw a spoon. Like a. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Okay, so it's this game called spoons. Okay, where. And mom's gonna hate me for telling you this. I don't even think she knows what spoons is. But spoons is a game where you go around with a bunch of metal spoons and you see like homeless people or black people or whatever, you throw a spoon and if you miss them, you have to get the spoon. You have to get out of the car and get the spoon. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Get the spoon. Oh, my gosh. [00:34:37] Speaker A: But if you hit them, you get to drive away. [00:34:39] Speaker B: So it's. [00:34:40] Speaker A: If you drive by spooning, so it's not dangerous, it's. You're throwing a spoon at them. Like, what the fuck? [00:34:49] Speaker B: Yeah, but if you miss, you then have to, like, confront them and be. [00:34:52] Speaker A: Like, yo, it's like just a mini hate crime. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I think that's fine. No, I mean, hate crimes are fine. [00:35:02] Speaker A: Hate crimes are fine. [00:35:04] Speaker B: I don't think I'm racist in the way people want me to be. It's like, they're like, oh, you hate black people? It's like, no, I'm just disappointed, you know? But I don't really hate black people. So we're good. It's like, I hate the stereotypical, you know, like Internet hate ones, you know? Like, that's what I don't like. Normal people are fine, but like, I ain't paying you reparations, so that happens. That's not gonna happen, so. [00:35:35] Speaker A: Oh, shit, we're already gone like an hour and a half. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Yeah, in about 30, 30 minutes of that, my mic wasn't on. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Maybe, I don't know. We'll see. [00:35:44] Speaker B: I saw the little bouncer going and I was like, I guess it's on. And then I looked down. [00:35:50] Speaker A: Well, I'm sure like, cuz these mics pick up like everything. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Yeah, that's why I thought it was on, because it was. Yours would bounce the whole way and mine would bounce like a quarter. So I was like, oh, maybe mine is just turned down or some fix it in post. [00:36:06] Speaker A: But thank you all so much for being here for this special episode with my baby little brother. Maybe we'll do this again. Maybe. Maybe. [00:36:17] Speaker B: Yeah, we can do this again. We'll do it a bit. Yeah. The only thing I have to say is this dude is not nice. He's really mean and he's always been mean, but he's still pretty much.