Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alright, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We are back as always, and my headphones are having little weird issues. That's weird.
But apparently up in Denver I don't get an introduction. Oh, and my wife is here. Courtney's not here.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Yeah, bestie has duties, but God, I deserve a better intro than that.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: My wife, the one that I. Penisalize.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Yes, perfect.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: You know that lady? The one that's like, yeah, I guess you can touch me with your gross dick.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Every girl's dream.
[00:00:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like it's like good on paper and.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: What? Your penis?
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Yeah, and then like. Like that's why girls read books about sex all the time.
[00:00:52] Speaker B: Well, yeah. Cause the sex good.
[00:00:54] Speaker A: Like the sex in a book.
[00:00:55] Speaker B: Like it depends on the book, though. And the author slash authoress. Like, there's bad. There's bad sex books and there's good sex books.
There's some real. And there's some like straight up rapey ass shit out there too.
[00:01:07] Speaker A: Of course.
Like, I was hanging out with some friends up in Durango and one of my friends reads like smut books, you know, but you can't tell that they're smut books on the outside, you know? And I just see her put down the book and just be like, what the fuck did I just read? And she like, explains it to me.
I'm like, that's it. I'm like, I believe I could write more graphic shit than that.
And like, she like, said something mundane, like, you know, he got like sliced up the throat or something. Got his throat sliced open. I'm like, lame. Fucking grade school bullshit. Be better.
[00:01:56] Speaker B: That is lame. Holy fuck.
But, um, said person got grossed out by it and put down the book.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Well, I mean, there is more than that, okay?
[00:02:09] Speaker B: The only book I've ever put down mid read and been like, what the fuck was when the was where the red fern grows? That was traumatizing and no one prepared me for it.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: Well, in the beginning of these books, there's like trigger warnings, like, you know, rape, murder and all that other bullshit. Your mental health matters.
And I'm like, oh, okay, you know, whatever.
And.
But yeah, women love just reading books about sex because it's like, it, like.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: It'S not just a sex, it's a love story.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: Love stories are lame.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: There are. They're the best. Although it depends. There's a lot of like groomer stuff out there too for sex novels, which is annoying, you know?
[00:02:57] Speaker A: Like, the love story that I enjoy is John Wick.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: I thought you're gonna see Rick and Morty.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: John Wick, he felt a love story.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: It's revenge.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: What are you talking about? He fell in love with his dog, and I. They killed his dog. And so he went on a fucking, you know, goddamn serial killing of, like, a whole bunch of fucking people that were, you know, lightly connected to the death of his dog.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Okay, I'm not denying the words you said, but I'm also still going to stick to my point of, it is not a love novel. It is not a love story.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: He got out of killing. He's like, okay, I'm going to be done with killing because this woman with her pussy, it's so good. And then she dies of cancer, like, right away. Like, you don't even get to meet her.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: No, you don't. Which is bullshit.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Like, she does get zero screen time.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: It's like, are there any women in the fucking movie besides the old lady who brands them?
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Yeah, there's a ton of women in the movie, huh?
I mean, they get killed, but, you.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: Know, oh, my God.
[00:04:06] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, like, men like visual shit.
So, like, men will read, like, a manga or something like that. Women can too, but, you know, men like a visual novel way more than, you know, reading something like, oh, cool, now I have to use my imagination. I haven't had to use that shit in forever. It's like busting out an old fucking video game console and be like, oh, cool, I guess it still works. I don't want to use it.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Why not?
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Because we don't use it. We don't need to.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: When I was a kid, I was in my imagination, like, 90% of the time. Although, granted, I was also in a very abusive situation, so maybe that's unusual, but I spent far more time, my imagination than I did in reality growing up.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: I use my imagination to imagine killing people on the road.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: That was not a good thing to say out loud.
[00:05:07] Speaker A: I don't do it.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: No, me, I don't feel very healthy about what I just said.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: But now you're in a better situation. It's fine.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: It's been too long since my last therapy appointment, but, yes, I am in a much better situation.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: You know, and just.
But, yeah, I mean, men enjoy doing something. Like, men will enjoy watching a soccer match or going out and playing soccer rather than reading a book about soccer.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: Who would read a book about soccer?
[00:05:45] Speaker A: I guarantee you there's books about soccer.
[00:05:47] Speaker B: I mean, I know there's, like, anime about soccer, but, like, full on books.
Although I'm not into sports at all.
Like, at all.
[00:05:57] Speaker A: Well, like, I. You know, instead of reading a book about fucking, I'd rather just go do it.
Like, bam.
[00:06:07] Speaker B: Of course, sex in real life is better than book sex, provided it is equally good sex.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: I mean, it's like if you're speed reading, you know, it's like the same.
It's like.
And he's done.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: I hate that I was taught how to speed read, okay? I can go through a 300 page novel and literally, like eight to 10 hours, like, within a fucking day. I hate that I was taught to speed read. It is so unfair. It is. Crippling. Books do not last long.
They don't last long.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Just get more. But there's so many books. Like, people will go on Amazon and self publish garbage all the time.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: My books are my friends. I hate making new friends.
[00:06:55] Speaker A: Like, go to the library. You can. Like, the library is free.
[00:06:59] Speaker B: I know.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: And you can just walk into the library, you know, pick up a book.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: I don't have a library, cardinal.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:07:07] Speaker B: What do you. Okay.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: I don't go through your wallet and I don't.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: True enough.
[00:07:10] Speaker A: I don't track where you go.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: Well, I was just bluffing because I do not have a library card. So.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, even if you did that, that was fine.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: I could have a library card. I've thought about it.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: Go get a library card.
[00:07:22] Speaker B: Means driving somewhere.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: Yeah, it does. Means going to the library. It means, you know, sitting down, reading a book.
[00:07:29] Speaker B: Like, I'll be happy once I get into the library. It's just a process of getting to the library.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Fucking, you know, every front desk lady at a library. And it's only women. I've only ever seen a woman at a front desk at a library. I don't know where the men are.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: They're in the back doing the heavy.
[00:07:46] Speaker A: Lifting, but, like, they're always, like, upset at me.
Like, I don't know what it is. They, like, see me and they're like, I know you can't read, you dumb, illiterate motherfucker.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: Anyone could look at you and know you don't read.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: Babe, what are you doing in here?
Like, legitimately.
Like, and here is a true fucking story, okay? I had a print out, the fucking bill of sale and all that bullshit for my truck. And so I go to the Durango library because it's like, literally, you know, just a block away from my hotel.
And I walk in there and the three ladies, three of them turn at me, glare at me and say, here's the thing for the printer. Cause they know I'm not there to read.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: How do you know they're glaring at you.
[00:08:42] Speaker A: Cause they're glaring at me.
They are glaring at me.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: What does that even mean?
[00:08:49] Speaker A: Just the, you know, like, the look of disdain. What are you doing here?
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Disdain or disgust?
[00:08:57] Speaker A: Both. Just like a. Like a glower. Like. Like when you, like, awaken a cat and they look at you like, how dare you?
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's the best.
[00:09:08] Speaker A: Like that. They. They all looked at me like that. Like, ugh, gross. What are you doing in here?
And, like, they have, like, this whole stack, and it's ten cents to, you know, print out a piece of. And that's fine.
They have an app for it, and it's great.
So I'm just like, I'm just here for the printer. Like, it's over there.
Don't fucking steal anything. You know, don't even. Don't even look. That free book of cart. That free cart of books. The free book of cards.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: Was the cart green?
[00:09:45] Speaker A: No, it was gray. Aw, it's gray and had, like, a couple tubs with, like, just free books in ithemenous.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Mm.
[00:09:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, hey, come in here and take a. I'm like, I didn't even look at it.
I don't know if there's children's books, adult books.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: It's a menagerie, probably. I've gotten some pretty good books from the free book bin. I'm not gonna lie.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Like, I see these, like, libraries on, like, posts in, like, neighborhoods. Like. Like, has, like, little doors that open up, and then you can, like, take a book and, like, I don't know if they're free if, like. But I'm surprised that they don't all just get stolen.
It's like every fucking book in there should just, you know, get stolen immediately.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: And, like, so what would you do if you stole a book?
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Try and sell it.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: To who?
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Amazon?
I mean, if I can get $3 for a book and there's 20 books, you know, that that's $60 ain't bad. That ain't a bad day's work.
[00:10:54] Speaker B: $60 is $60. Oh, I hate being in the middle class. Working middle. Working class. God.
[00:11:02] Speaker A: But, yeah, I mean, no better than.
[00:11:04] Speaker B: The fucking coal miners.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: I mean, like, the cool thing is, is sometimes you might come across a gem and be like, oh, this book is actually worth $27.
And it's like, I don't know why this book is worth more. You can just copy the fucking book. You can pirate books.
Like that. That's what I miss about my college days. We could pirate books.
We can take. You know, we can go into the library, rent the fucking book we needed for the class, and copy the fucking pages, you know, and then print them out and then essentially have an entire book for, like, $50.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: So my microbiology professor, he legitimately told us, do not buy the books. They're available at the library. These are the specific chapters you will be learning, and I will be testing you on go and do not buy the book. And I was like, fuck yeah, dude. Oh, my. I loved my microbiology teacher. He was smart as fucked, you know? You know how you meet, like, smart people, then you meet, like, smart people?
[00:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:09] Speaker B: He was that. Oh, my God. He was cool.
And he was very patient with me.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: He's patient with you?
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I.
I wasn't very good in a multi class learning environment because I'd been homeschooled my whole life. So I still didn't understand a lot of the unspoken etiquette rules. And so, like, I would speak out a turn, all kinds of stuff. And, like, he was also very. Sometimes, like, I would come up with an answer that was, like, not, like, textbook, and he would still be like, you know what? That's the right answer. What's cool? Let's roll with it.
[00:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: I mean, and, like, when I first started college, I took a college success class, and it basically, oh, my God. That fixed so many problems. But the biggest thing has taught me was you sit up front, you ask a lot of questions, the teacher will like you and you, and sometimes they'll give you the grade higher than you just quite scored. And that fucking worked.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: I remember going to college and I fell asleep. Every single class, dead center, just front of the class.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: You were homeless at this point, right?
[00:13:19] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: But I would, you know, fall asleep, you know, in front of the class and, you know, and, like, the teacher wanted to, like, make an example out of me, trying to embarrass me, you know, and he'd be like, hey, what's the answer? I'd wake up, look at the answer for, like, a half a second, answer it without any fucking paperwork, just right off the top of the dome. And then, you know, after I did that, like, five times, he just let me sleep, and he'd, like, gently wake me anytime we had to, like, a test or in class work.
He's like, why are you here? I'm like, because I have to be. Because, you know, these are prerequisites.
[00:13:58] Speaker B: I cannot believe I was giving you hand jobs under the table in math.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: Well, don't say that. My mom listens to this podcast.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: I cannot believe I did that.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: Yeah, you're a little slut back then.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Like, for reals.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: You know? But now you're married, so I made an honest woman out of you.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: Thank you.
I mean, you didn't have a choice.
[00:14:22] Speaker A: I did. I could have been like. You could have been like, hey, we should get married. I'd be like, oh, no, I would have left. You know, that's for, you know, like, the gays and the Mennonites.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: No, I had invested seven years of my life into our relationship. We were going to get married.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: What if, like, realistically, if I'm like.
[00:14:42] Speaker B: Nah, I would have left.
[00:14:44] Speaker A: You'd have left and just given up the seven years?
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I would have gone down and moved in with Courtney down in San Diego.
That was gonna be my next back. That was gonna be my backup plan.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: And what if Courtney said, I can't have you move in here?
[00:14:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Courtney totally would have said yes. What are you talking about? She was just looking like. She would have fucking gladly kicked out cassandra and taken me in.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: Oh, Cassie was living with her?
[00:15:08] Speaker B: Mm hmm.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, no, Cassie was. Oh, God.
Family's family for some people.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: I mean, like, I have, like, majority of people. I have, like, a few people.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: Not me.
[00:15:23] Speaker A: Like, my mom would never, you know, be like, baby boy, I need to move in with you. But if she did, I'd be like, yeah, come on. Like, same thing with mama. Mama needed to move down here. Yeah, she could.
She won't. She won't even visit. I've already asked her about it.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: It's way too much to ask of your mama to fly over here and back.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah. She's like, you know, flying is just too hard on me. And it is. I'm like, yeah, that's fine.
Still call her more than my mom.
Which reminds me, I need to, like, give her another call. Like, happy Labor Day.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. We're supposed to call Labor Day?
[00:16:04] Speaker A: No.
[00:16:05] Speaker B: Oh, thank God. No offense. No offense, but you don't have to.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: Call no one on Labor Day.
And in fact, you know, let's get into a little bit of Labor Day.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: Like, I don't even know what this.
[00:16:18] Speaker A: Holiday is for, and I actually fucking have it pulled up.
[00:16:22] Speaker B: Oh, damn.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Just gonna talk about it.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: Fuck yeah, babe.
[00:16:26] Speaker A: Labor Day is a federal holiday in the United States celebrated on the first Monday of September to honor and recognize the american labor movement and works and contributions of the laborers to the development and achievement in the United States.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: Is this after World War one?
[00:16:45] Speaker A: This was an 18.
Like, it became an official holiday in 1893, but, you know, labor day parades were in 1882.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: When was World War one?
[00:16:59] Speaker A: After fucking. It was, like, in the 1920s. I.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Okay, so then it's before this.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: When was World War one?
Yeah, 1914. So I clearly took history the 1920s.
It ended in 1918.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: So before the roaring twenties, which is the only thing I know. Okay, whatever. I was wondering if this was based off. Okay, never mind. Go back to what you could go back to Labor Day, because what I thought it was is clearly not what it was.
[00:17:31] Speaker A: But I do have a date that does quite well collaborate with it, and it's. When did slavery end? Which was December 18, 1865.
And then, like, 20 years later, they're like, look at how much us whites have done.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Wait, this is just white saviorism?
[00:17:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: Oh, for fuck's sake.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: You know, welcome to the whole thing. You know, the labor movement was, like, them unionizing and getting fucking rights for themselves. And, like, hey, we are fucking actually doing shit. And so, yeah, it did kind of incorporate a little bit of, you know, the black people, the Puerto Ricans, the fucking Italians, and, you know, a lot of the white people.
[00:18:17] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's also Canadia's Labor Day on the same day.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Yeah.
[00:18:21] Speaker B: Ah, there's so much. They're so much better than we are.
[00:18:26] Speaker A: More than 150 other countries also celebrate International Workers Day on May 1, the european holiday of May Day.
[00:18:34] Speaker B: Okay, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So this is a holiday to celebrate people who are in the workforce, and it's a federal holiday, and so I have to take a day off work to celebrate laborers like me, but it's an unpaid fucking holiday.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: No, for me, it's paid.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I am literally losing money to celebrate people like me. This is bullshit.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: Uh huh. Yeah.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: For fuck's sake.
Our manager's been negotiating for two years now to try to get us paid holidays.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that'd be cool.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: Corporates literally still like, fuck you, which is bullshit, because I know our sister clinic gets paid holidays. Okay, our sister clinic gets paid holidays. It's fucking bullshit.
[00:19:15] Speaker A: But when you have to look at how much, you know, it's bringing in.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, they're making a lot more money than we are. But we're just being punished.
[00:19:22] Speaker A: Yeah, because you make less money.
[00:19:24] Speaker B: But we're a specialty clinic.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: I mean, like, still.
I mean, imagine if you're like, hey, I fucking fix, you know, old Sony Walkmans. It's like, well, do you fix, like, Panasonic Walkmans? No. Get out of here with that horseshit. Sony only.
And then your fucking business shuts down. And you're like, why the fuck did this happen?
[00:19:51] Speaker B: Our business isn't shutting down. We just have a slut clientele, and we're hitting a lull.
[00:19:58] Speaker A: I thought you said a slut clientele.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: I'm like, that'd be fucking hilarious.
[00:20:02] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. Slutty clientele. Coming in here with all their pussies. Be like, my pussy's acting weird. Doctor, can you fix my pussy?
[00:20:12] Speaker B: We most certainly can. It's like, give it some steroids.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Now my fucking pussy can snap the cocks right off this, men.
[00:20:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Roids fix everything when it comes to cats, vomiting, royals, diarrhea, roids, cancer, roids, asthma, roids.
You name it, we're gonna treat it with roids.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: But, yes, I.
They should make Labor Day a Sunday. Yeah, make it the first Sunday of September.
[00:20:44] Speaker B: I mean, I get it being a day off for laborers, but if you're not fucking paid for it, it's bullshit.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Like. Like, make it a Sunday, and then you can go to, you know, work on Monday and be like, yeah, Rosie the riveter. Hell, yeah.
Or whatever the fuck you enjoy.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: I'd be less pissed off if this was paid. That's my whole point. At the end of the day, you have to be worried about money.
I hate numbers.
[00:21:07] Speaker A: I mean, I enjoy it all. Like, I got paid for fucking going to jury duty.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: How much did you make for that?
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Like $200.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Fuck you.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: That's nice.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: I mean, like, that's fucking dope. If you go to jury duty and your boss is not gonna fucking pay it, they will pay you, like, $50 plus gas.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: That's so much money.
Oh, my God.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Better than a fucking kick in the head.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: It is better than a kick in.
[00:21:36] Speaker A: The head, but, yeah, it's all garbage.
[00:21:40] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:21:41] Speaker A: It's like, if you're gonna fucking waste my fucking time, I'm gonna waste your time.
And, yeah, honestly, how much money do.
[00:21:54] Speaker B: You have to have to be considered rich?
[00:21:58] Speaker A: 10 million.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: That tracks.
[00:22:03] Speaker A: That's, you know, the threshold. I put it at 10 million. You'll never have to work a day in your life. Yeah, you can just retire if you have $10 million. If you have $1 million. Yeah, you can, you know, have a few years off.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: If you have a million dollars, you should be putting in stocks and shit.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: What if your stocks crash?
[00:22:21] Speaker B: I don't know how the stock market works.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: So pretty much.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: You've tried to explain this to me, like, five times now.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: Okay. Pretty much. Here's what it is. You know, you have ten plants in front of you.
You know, some of these plants might do well, some of them might not do well, and you have to rely on other fucking people to water them. So, you know, pretty much, you know, when the plant grows, your money grows. And if people don't water that fucking plant and let it die, guess what? Your money goes to shit. So if other fucking people do not water your plant, you know, the money that you put into it is now fucking gone, where is now diminished, wrinkled up. But if people water your fucking plant and it keeps growing, keeps growing. Oh, fucking cool. Now my money's worth double what it was when I fucking put it into the plant.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: But can you access the money?
[00:23:11] Speaker A: Yeah, anytime.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: But then you have to pay taxes on it.
[00:23:14] Speaker A: Mm hmm. Yeah.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: Texas are a bitch.
[00:23:17] Speaker A: But you have to sell it. So when you, you know, sell it, you put it up on the market and be like, hey, I have these stocks, and they're doing really well.
Who wants to buy them? And someone will come up and buy them because they're doing really well. And they're like, oh, yeah, we'll get more.
Same as houses.
I feel like we bought it at the top of the curve, and now it's all going to come crashing down. And our house is going worth, like, 60,000 in ten years.
[00:23:46] Speaker B: But it'll be our house.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: It'll be our house. Yeah.
[00:23:48] Speaker B: That's all that matters.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: It's like, oh, fuck.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: Oh, fuck what? Well, like, what are you gonna do with the money? I'm super. Why does it matter how much our house costs if we've already bought it?
[00:24:00] Speaker A: Well, I mean, how cool would it have been if I could have paid 60,000? Like, we'd already be done.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: We would be done. And by we, we mean you.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I just went, boom. They're done. Paid off. Fuck off.
Easy.
[00:24:15] Speaker B: It would be nice.
[00:24:17] Speaker A: And then I wouldn't have to fucking worry about, you know, paying a mortgage. I could, you know, go get an easy street job, you know, where it's like, I only have to fucking come up with the money for, you know, house insurance and the utilities and nothing else.
And then I can, like, just work, like, three days a week.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Sounds nice.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: And then I can, like, go out on Labor Day, go to the parades, like, yeah. Thank you. Labor.
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Oh, there's gonna be parades.
I'm sure this is fair here.
[00:24:54] Speaker A: What do you mean the state fair?
[00:24:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: Right now.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Like right now right now.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Right now? Yes. Right now. Right now.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Huh.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: Colorado state fairs down in Pueblo.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: Oh, it's down in Pueblo.
[00:25:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Doesn't it come to the springs or.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: No, no, never. Oh, it goes to the, you know, state fairgrounds. That's why it's called the state fairgrounds.
[00:25:15] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Same place every year. Oh, for the last hundred million years. Oh, I know.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: I wonder if they better raids this year.
[00:25:24] Speaker A: Colorado State Fair.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: Shouldn't it be in Denver?
[00:25:28] Speaker A: No, it's in Pueblo.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: But it says state fair.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a state in the capital. Yeah. They don't have any room up there to hold this.
[00:25:34] Speaker B: Okay.
Oh, so the state fair literally ends on Tuesday, which means it'll be packed full.
[00:25:42] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Fucking, you know, today will be fucking packed full, cuz they have, man. Loot or no, ludicrous was yesterday. They have.
I don't know who the fuck these tuxedo looking people.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: I don't know who they are either.
[00:25:56] Speaker A: Things do. Let's see what the.
With the. Like.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: I just want to go on the rides, but it's too late. We'll go next year.
[00:26:04] Speaker A: We'll do next. Yeah, it's just fucking the loop dedupe and the fucking merry go round. Yeah, well, let's see how much fucking tickets even are.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: They're gonna be stupid.
And you only want to. You only get like the fucking full pass. You don't like, buy tickets per ride.
[00:26:19] Speaker A: That's hilarious.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: How much is it?
[00:26:22] Speaker A: So the goo goo dolls you weren't around from.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: I was not.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: Like, they were good back in the day. Free. Free fucking 530 today. So obviously we're not going to go there.
It does not give me a fucking list of, you know, how much it costs. Plan your visit deals and discounts, please.
Senior day. Oh, man.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: For second. For a second, I thought this said to cat Tuesday, but it's toucan Tuesday.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: One price Wednesday includes fair admission, ranch rodeo, some specialty rides included.
Oh, yeah.
Three date, $3 off of. So, yeah, it's not fucking wildly expensive. It's like $25 to get in, but you have to, like, pay for everything else.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: So, yeah, we'll do it next year, and we'll fucking talk about how garbage it is.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: How garbage it is for you. You're the one who's determined to not enjoy it.
[00:27:37] Speaker A: Do you not remember the last time we went to the state fair?
[00:27:40] Speaker B: Yeah, you got sick.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: Really fucking sick.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: And why did you get sick? Cause you didn't listen to me.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: What did you say?
[00:27:47] Speaker B: Okay, so remember the only place I had free drinks? They were serving this ice cold water, and I told you to sip it and let it warm up in your mouth instead of just chugging it down. And you chugged it down and you got sick to your stomach, whereas I sipped it and let it wear my mouth before I fucking shoved it down my gullet, and I was fine.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: No, I drink ice cold water all the time.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Yeah, but it was the middle of a hot fare.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: It was your own fault you got sick.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: No, I think it was just, like, some food poisoning or something.
I threw up and I was fine.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: That is not how food poisoning works.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: But continue exactly how it works.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. No, you got rid of an irritant, not a dysbiosis.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: I vomited.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: You got rid of the irritant.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: And I was fine.
[00:28:40] Speaker B: You got rid of the irritant.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: So, yeah, this place is actually kind of fucking small. Like, now that I'm looking at it.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's a tiny fair.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: Well, I mean, it's a state fair, but, like, they. They have, like, animals.
[00:28:54] Speaker B: Well, yeah, for the competitions, you know.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: And I want to go see the animals.
Oh, I could join in the rodeo.
I could wear some chaps.
I could wear, like, a flannel. I could have a cowboy hat on.
[00:29:11] Speaker B: They look at fat dude, like, you just jump in. Yeah, for the lofts.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: Like, I don't think you understand how fucking big these giant fucking bucking broncos are.
[00:29:23] Speaker B: Of course I know how big they are. I almost went into large medicine, but.
[00:29:28] Speaker A: Like, I've told the story on here before of when I went to the fucking rodeo.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: I literally was told I shouldn't be in large animal medicine because I was too short. Yeah, okay. That was large animal medicine has a heist. Fucking discrimination policy. Granted, I was shorter than literally the short, the smallest cow they had on the farm, but.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: Yeah, no, like, I believe that I could enter into this rodeo, pay whatever the fee is to enter in, you know, get the fucking hat, you know, and just, you know, eat shit.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: This is full of advertisement.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. Big r is one running the rodeo.
Pug is the one fucking doing some horses, Pepsi. And Ram is the one fucking doing something out in the middle of nowhere.
Let me see, because it actually has, like, a fucking number. Seven is a big r arena.
[00:30:28] Speaker B: I just want to go on the rides.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Okay, we'll go on the rides. We'll go on the rides. I'll go on this ride.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: Can I go on fair can I go on fair rides in my dress?
Would they let me on if I wore a petticoat?
[00:30:42] Speaker A: It depends.
[00:30:43] Speaker B: Yeah.
I'd have to wear regular people clothes.
[00:30:50] Speaker A: But.
So, yeah, let's just jump back right into the fucking news. So venezuelan gangs, they looked it up. They actually came the fuck out. Aurora police department came out but found no evidence that gang members were in control.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: You did absolutely no introduction for this.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: Okay. I believe I said something at the beginning. You did probably, maybe. Okay. So apparently. Yeah, I did. I absolutely did.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:31:22] Speaker A: The fucking whole episode. Venezuelan gangs have apparently taken over Aurora.
[00:31:28] Speaker B: Which is perfectly fine. It's fucking Aurora. They're the Pueblo of Denver.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: And I'm saying this. Cut it out with the sanctuary cities. Fucking stop inviting fucking whoever the fuck over here to just, you know, stay here for free.
[00:31:46] Speaker B: Well, they're up there. They're not in our town.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Yeah, no, they know better than to come down here. We'll shoot them. We have no qualms about fucking pulling out a rifle and laying them and their entire family down.
[00:31:59] Speaker B: Colorado Springs is a lot more ghetto than they'd like to admit.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: We're a lot more republican.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Is there any city that is not like, what even is what is the definition of ghetto? I just know it's an adjective.
[00:32:12] Speaker A: A ghetto is like an italian fucking word.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: Oh, so like pasta?
[00:32:19] Speaker A: Well, it was an area of, like, the city that was like, kind of poor. And like, let me see. Definition of ghetto.
Poor urban area occupied primarily by a minority group or groups.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: Okay, so people of color, historical.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: The U. The jewish quarter in a city.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: The jewish quarter. Oh, my God.
[00:32:47] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And then for to put in or restrict an isolated segregated area or group.
So, yeah, I mean, it was just, you know, an area of the unwanteds.
[00:33:12] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:33:13] Speaker A: Yeah.
Early 17th century, perhaps from italian ghetto foundry. Because ghetto was established in 1516 on the site of a foundry in Venice.
So, yeah, italian ghetto.
So, yeah, the ghettos of fucking Denver are getting taken over by fucking venezuelan gangs. They took a few days to come out there and check it out because.
[00:33:49] Speaker B: They were cowards or paid off.
[00:33:52] Speaker A: Well, the fucking video of, like, ten dudes showing up with rifles and guns.
Yeah. Like, this is like a little fucking snippet of it. You know? Like, that guy has a gun. That guy has a gun. That guy has gone. This guy has a gun. And then there's like five others that come in behind to go into this apartment.
And yeah, it's like, oh, shit. But how about this? Just give everyone a fucking gun. You know, if you know that you could be walking into a potential death trap. Yeah, you might not want to do this. Like, this guy isn't armored up. None of these guys are fucking armored up. They're not wearing face masks or anything.
But it's like, you know, anytime I see police shoot one of these guys dead, I'm like, good job, guys. You did the world a favor.
But, you know, like, why can't we do it?
[00:34:56] Speaker B: Cuz, I mean, I personally are. I'm not gonna shoot a gun, but you're more than welcome to.
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I'll go in there and. Well, I won't go up to save Aurora. Go fuck yourselves.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's Aurora.
[00:35:08] Speaker A: Burn it all down. Like, fucking lock them all in the building. Like, this is now your building, guys.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:35:12] Speaker A: And then fucking ring a fire around it.
[00:35:14] Speaker B: No, like, you just build your stupid wall around Aurora.
[00:35:18] Speaker A: A warrah. That's what it is now.
[00:35:21] Speaker B: Ah.
Yep, that. That was good. That was good.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: Um, but so, yeah, the venezuelan gang, um, trende, Aragua. Um, I'm pretty sure I fucking butchered that entire goddamn thing.
It has been operating in Aurora. Like, this has been confirmed, but they have no proof that they, you know, have control of this building. And the problem is, um, the owner of the building is out of state.
That they're fucking hands off. They're like, we. I own the building, but I'm not there.
[00:36:03] Speaker B: I'm like, sounds like any landlord ever.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: I feel like if you own a fucking building, you should have to live in the same state or at least visit the state, you know, three times a year.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: You should be more easily accessible or.
[00:36:19] Speaker A: Have someone that, you know, can make, you know, any decision they need.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Yeah, proxy. That's not the word I wanted, but.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: That'S essentially what it is. Like, you know, a fucking power of attorney over these buildings.
You know? It's like, hey, I'm hiring you.
And it's someone you have to fully trust because they can 100% fuck you on this. Sell the building and then, you know, run away with the money.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: So that's legit, though.
[00:36:50] Speaker A: I mean, like, why not? Yeah, you know, have someone that has full control and can do anything that is necessary to do to the building. You still own it. You still, you know.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: No, I'm saying selling the money and taking off with it.
[00:37:03] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, they could.
[00:37:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I would fucking do. Second, they were, like, not responsive and like, yo, this is my money. I'm out. I move into. I don't know, somewhere.
[00:37:14] Speaker A: No, but like the escape to.
[00:37:16] Speaker B: With money. Where would you go? Where would we go?
[00:37:20] Speaker A: If you had money, how much?
[00:37:22] Speaker B: Uh, 10 million.
[00:37:24] Speaker A: If you had $10 million, because you.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: Said that's the amount where it'd be rich.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: So, I mean.
So do they already know that you've committed this crime?
[00:37:36] Speaker B: Um, yes, because I'm sure I'd be dreadful at covering my trucks.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: Um, so getting on a plane is a fucking no go because they absolutely turn the plane the fuck around. So your only options, technically, are Canada.
[00:37:50] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: Or Mexico. Both have extradition treaties with America, so you're kind of fucked.
[00:37:58] Speaker B: Well, Mexico is warmer than Canada, so that's where I'm going.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Do you speak any Spanish?
[00:38:03] Speaker B: No, but you're coming with, so.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: I don't speak Spanish.
[00:38:06] Speaker B: But you look Spanish.
[00:38:08] Speaker A: That. That's cool.
[00:38:09] Speaker B: It'll do the job.
Remember when you went to turkey and you got. And everyone was, like, not trying to take advantage of you because you weren't white?
Same sitch. You asian.
[00:38:19] Speaker A: I mean, it's not exactly.
[00:38:21] Speaker B: I did not just abbreviate situation to sis, did I?
[00:38:23] Speaker A: You totally did.
[00:38:24] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That. That was disgusting. I feel bad now.
[00:38:27] Speaker A: Like, Kim possible.
[00:38:29] Speaker B: I never saw that show.
[00:38:33] Speaker A: The most annoying part of the entire goddamn show.
[00:38:36] Speaker B: Uh huh.
[00:38:37] Speaker A: Is she would, you know, pick up her phone, like, not put it to her ear, just, you know, hold it in front of her. Yo, Ron, what's the sitch?
[00:38:46] Speaker B: That. Oh, my God, I feel so gross. That noise came out of my mouth. Yeah, I feel bad.
[00:38:52] Speaker A: I'm like.
[00:38:53] Speaker B: I feel real bad.
[00:38:54] Speaker A: Like, that's awful.
[00:38:56] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's awful.
[00:38:58] Speaker A: And I don't think.
[00:38:59] Speaker B: Can you edit that out?
[00:39:00] Speaker A: No. Oh, God, absolutely not.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: So you totally could, though.
[00:39:04] Speaker A: I totally could. Yeah.
[00:39:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I hate you.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: I could, you know, hit the fucking Mark button. Beckley. Not doing it.
[00:39:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: That's more work than I want to fucking do. That's more work than I want.
Stop. Stop that.
[00:39:16] Speaker B: So I thought you loved me.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: No, I just have to pretend.
[00:39:21] Speaker B: Ugh.
[00:39:22] Speaker A: Um, but, yeah, so, you know, apparently they don't still have control of this building. Um, and the residents are like, yeah, there's gang members that live here, and there's violence in the streets, but it's not like, you know, the news blew it out of proportion.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: Sounds like.
[00:39:47] Speaker A: But it's like, don't live up in Denver. Don't live in big fucking cities.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:52] Speaker A: Like, Miles, my car got shot. Like, you know, we. We just need to honestly make it to where, you know, if you want to fuck around and find out. You serve the fucking consequences of possibly fucking dying or getting shot.
Simple.
If you really think about it. It's like, oh, I want to go around with a gun or knock mailboxes off, and someone will fucking just put in a steel rod for their mailbox. Drop a railroad tie in, and you break your fucking shoulder.
[00:40:28] Speaker B: Yes. I love that story.
[00:40:31] Speaker A: It's like. Or fucking someone crashes their car into your fucking overly constructed mailbox and just destroys their entire shit and tries to sue you, and then they lose.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: Yeah, of course they're gonna lose.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: And it's like, oh, what the fuck did you think was gonna happen?
You know, you kept on fucking doing it. They told you not to, and you kept fucking doing it. Fuck around. Find out. It's like, now you have $100,000 in medical debt, and you don't have a vehicle to get to work. You lost your job, you lost your apartment, you lost everything, and now you're homeless because you wanted to be a.
[00:41:04] Speaker B: Dickhead and you still owe money.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I've never done this, but yes, it's still owe money.
[00:41:12] Speaker B: Can you declare bankruptcy and that goes away or no?
[00:41:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:41:15] Speaker B: Huh.
[00:41:16] Speaker A: It's an unsecured debt, so any unsecured.
[00:41:20] Speaker B: Debt, what's a secured debt?
[00:41:22] Speaker A: Um, like, fucking school loans and shit like that.
[00:41:27] Speaker B: What's make. What makes a debt secured?
[00:41:29] Speaker A: It's guaranteed by, like, a government or some other party.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: Huh.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: Like, this house is a secure debt because I pay for the insurance, so anything goes wrong, it gets taken care.
[00:41:45] Speaker B: Of by the insurance.
[00:41:48] Speaker A: But, like, the insurance won't pay if I, like, decide not to.
But if, like, they kick me out of the house and, like, I fucking destroy the entire house, then the insurance just pays it, you know, it. They're just like. And yes, I can declare bankruptcy, but then guess what? They come and take the house.
[00:42:14] Speaker B: Yeah, so.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: But, like, say you go and fucking, you know, get, like, a credit card. They don't have any way of really getting the money back.
If you declare bankruptcy, they just have to go kick sand. Sucks for them.
[00:42:30] Speaker B: No, it doesn't. They are making plenty of money off of all of their other sods.
[00:42:34] Speaker A: So, I mean.
So, yeah, the TDA out in fucking Aurora, that sucks.
But, yeah, don't fuck around. Find out.
And if you see them, don't shoot them. But, you know, the Aurora police department needs to, like, actually start taking some fucking action.
You know, all these fucking police departments need to actually start taking some action and just stop running radar on the side of the fucking road. Like, they're fucking making the world a safer place. Fuck you. If you're. If you're that cop that just sits there and runs radar, you know, all fucking day long or responds to some fucking simple bullshit, and then, you know, overreacts and then gives everyone a fucking ticket, you know, you're a fucking piece of shit cop.
Not like recently I had one of my co workers get into an accident.
He was making a left hand turn, and a lady rear ended them and with her horse trailer and everything.
[00:43:38] Speaker B: Was the horse okay?
[00:43:39] Speaker A: No idea. Probably dead.
And, you know, her truck was fucking totaled. His, you know, truck was okay because it's. They're built tough.
You just had to hammer it back into place.
[00:43:54] Speaker B: It wasn't made out of plastic.
[00:43:56] Speaker A: Oh, our fucking trucks are solid as shit. Yeah.
Like, I've hit deer at 69 miles an hour just fine.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: If I did that. She load. Crump, crumple into a tissue.
[00:44:08] Speaker A: Yep. So the deer would be fine.
But the cop came out, and since he, you know, he had his turn signal on, everything was good. You know, he was doing everything that he was supposed to be doing, and she just wasn't fucking paying attention. Fucking rear ended him. Um, now he got a fucking ticket for reckless driving.
[00:44:32] Speaker B: Wait, he got a ticket?
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Both of them got a ticket. But, yeah.
[00:44:36] Speaker B: What he get a ticket for?
[00:44:37] Speaker A: For reckless driving.
[00:44:38] Speaker B: How?
[00:44:39] Speaker A: Oh, no. I'm like, fight that shit. Fight that shit and have that fucking cop fired. Sue that cop.
[00:44:44] Speaker B: That's bullshit.
[00:44:45] Speaker A: Sue him personally. Just be like, hey, guess what? Now you're about to lose everything. Watch this little magic trick, okay?
[00:44:53] Speaker B: When you, like, got the ticket for the motorcycle accident, I was like, okay, you know what? Fine. That does, like, low key make sense. But for your friend to get a ticket, and that's.
[00:45:00] Speaker A: I didn't get a ticket for the motorcycle accident.
[00:45:01] Speaker B: Oh, you told me you did get a ticket. No, you told me you got a ticket. No, you told me you got a fucking ticket.
[00:45:09] Speaker A: No, you said I would get a ticket if you were, like, broken.
[00:45:16] Speaker B: You told me you had a ticket and you had to go to court for it.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: Maybe. I don't know. It was a long time ago.
[00:45:20] Speaker B: Oh, my fucking God.
Although it's not like my memory is any better than yours. Continue. That's bullshit. Your friend got a ticket, so.
[00:45:30] Speaker A: Ugh. But, yeah, you know, fuck. Fuck these bad cops. I like a good fucking cop. Give me a good cop. One that will actually do their goddamn job. Cool. Guess what? You're on my good side now. But if you're out here just to fucking run radar and stay safe and collect a paycheck. Go fuck yourself. Get the fuck out of the force. We don't need you here wasting our goddamn time.
[00:45:52] Speaker B: No. In taxpayer dollars. I normally don't pull that card, but. For reals.
[00:45:58] Speaker A: But speaking of bad cops, a bubble pirate cited for littering during public performance over in San Diego.
He was a US Navy veteran who puts on bubble shows for families across San Diego as the bubble pirate. Very cute. Very adorable.
[00:46:18] Speaker B: That's cool.
[00:46:19] Speaker A: He blows bubbles and makes them all big and stuff.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: Oh, this sounds cool.
[00:46:25] Speaker A: Sandy Snakenberg, 63 years old, has been creating bubble art, or bubble ology, as he calls it, referring to both the science and spectacle of it for over a decade, a trade he picked up while living in Singapore.
[00:46:43] Speaker B: Singapore, still a country.
[00:46:44] Speaker A: Of course it is, huh?
He was just enjoying blowing simple bubbles.
And then he kind of got hooked and enjoyed doing it. And so he's been traveling around and doing the bubble business with his bicycle and his bubble making gear.
[00:47:03] Speaker B: Oh, this is so wonderful for our vet to do this. Oh, my God, I love this.
[00:47:09] Speaker A: And, you know, he had to fucking return to the US because of a fucking heart condition, but he kept on doing his bubble shows.
[00:47:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:19] Speaker A: And, yeah, he would, you know, go, you know, up and down the city's coastline and make his money from, you know, onlookers and tips and all that.
And he would do it with minimal issues. But then he recite, received a citation for littering prohibited fluids.
[00:47:45] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's just glycerin and dawn soap. What the fuck?
[00:47:51] Speaker A: Which I think is a fucking bull fucking shit.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: It's glycerin and dawn soap. It's perfectly fine.
[00:48:00] Speaker A: On the citation, the park ranger said he violated the littering provision in the city's park use law that states it's unlawful to leave or scatter any boxes, empty or otherwise. Waste paper, remains of meals, newspaper, tobacco, remains of any material capable being smoked or rubbish of any kind, except that is matter.
Material and matter that may be deposited in receptacles.
So, yeah, they took the chemical, and they're like, this chemical, it's littering because when it pops, it hits the ground.
I'm like, dude, you're a fucking dickhead cop, and I hope you get shot to death. Like, I hope, like, you just pull over the wrong guy and he fucking, you know, takes a shorty fucking shotgun and kills you.
[00:48:53] Speaker B: He's a vet, for fuck's sake, okay? He's dealing with heart failure. I'm sure he's living with PTSD, he's going around doing something that generally that makes himself feel happy. And not a lot of vets are able to do that.
Like, this is. This is just insult to injury.
Like, this is bullshit.
[00:49:14] Speaker A: I want someone to fucking find what that cop is doing, the dirt that he's fucking doing, and just fucking expose it. Just fucking rip his life apartheid.
[00:49:23] Speaker B: This is like, the cop who gave you that bullshit ticket for, like, not going to, like, a specific station when entering town. Yeah, no, like, that's the exact same bullshit. Like, someone just had to. Someone just had to feel like he had a big dick. Big dick.
[00:49:37] Speaker A: Yeah. It's just like, I used to, like, respect cops. I'm like, okay, you're doing a fucking job now. It's like, no, you're actually not fucking doing your job. You're not fucking making the world a safer place. You're out here just generating revenue for the city and for yourself, you greedy fucking piece of shit.
[00:49:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, you're out there to make money.
[00:49:57] Speaker A: If you're out there fucking stopping drug dealers, stopping violent fucking criminals and doing crazy shit on a daily basis, then, yes. But you're like, I pulled someone over and they called me a piece of shit. Now I have PTSD from it. Go fuck yourself.
You know, fucking, I want marines like that. That's the only people that should be cops. Marines. Yeah, they're fucking rough around the edges, but they'll go fucking handle some shit.
They'll fucking go in, kick in a fucking door and, you know, make some arrests and do real good in the world.
Like, I don't want this fucking. I got you fucking doing seven over the speed limit, and now you're gonna get a ticket and points on your license.
That. That's just evil to me.
Holy shit. Already at 50 minutes.
But. But here. Here's another fucking story. Over in Greece, of all fucking places, a woman has been setting fires in Greece to watch the firefighters and flirt.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: With them, which, hey, this chick knows where it's at.
Oh, my God, I respect this lady so much.
I want to be this level of chaos when I'm old if I decide to get old.
[00:51:35] Speaker A: But I mean, like, it's honestly not that fucking bad.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: She was setting fires in, like, okay places.
[00:51:46] Speaker A: No, she was like, is creating brush fires.
[00:51:49] Speaker B: Oh, brush fires is something different.
[00:51:50] Speaker A: But she got a 36 month prison sentence, which she'll only have to, like, serve, like, three months of it. And, like, a $1,000 that she had to pay.
[00:51:59] Speaker B: Like, that's it in US dollars or.
[00:52:03] Speaker A: Okay, well, it's a thousand euros, so it's like 1200 bucks.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: Okay. Euros are more than the american dollar right now.
[00:52:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:10] Speaker B: That's crazy.
[00:52:12] Speaker A: They're good. And it doesn't say who she is.
[00:52:15] Speaker B: Well, of course not.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: It just added the woman is a greek citizen who is responsible for causing two fires on farmland intentionally and repeatedly.
[00:52:24] Speaker B: Wait, in farmland?
[00:52:25] Speaker A: Uh huh. On August 24 and 25th?
[00:52:28] Speaker B: Okay, take this back. You shouldn't be burning fucking farmland.
[00:52:32] Speaker A: But, but she's, she's wanted to see the firefighters and gonna flirt with them.
[00:52:36] Speaker B: That part I still respect.
[00:52:38] Speaker A: I mean, she's 44 years old. Like, you know, what the fuck do you think's gonna happen?
[00:52:42] Speaker B: She's out there living her best cougar life.
[00:52:48] Speaker A: You know? And then like another fucking 51 year old dude was setting fires and he had to pay, you know, 1500 bucks.
[00:52:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Cuz he, he's a dude. And he wasn't flirting with the firefighters.
[00:53:02] Speaker A: Maybe he was, maybe he just wanted to see it.
I mean, Greece is not big, but it's like, like that, that's like the way to, you know, fucking make your, you know, tax dollars work for you. It's like, oh, they do work. Good.
And I respect firefighters more than anybody.
[00:53:22] Speaker B: Else straight the fuck up because they.
[00:53:25] Speaker A: Never fucking charge you. Like, they'll put your house out and they'll be like, sorry about that, we got stuff wet in there. It's like, yeah, of course.
[00:53:33] Speaker B: No, they're literally fire fucking fighters. They are out there risking their lives.
[00:53:38] Speaker A: They put on their boxing gloves. They're like, we're gonna go in.
[00:53:40] Speaker B: Like, I have so much respect for them. And also, who doesn't love a video of a firefighter rescuing a cat from the house? From the house. Honest to goddess.
[00:53:50] Speaker A: Like, I like the videos of them rescuing dogs. All kinds of shit.
[00:53:54] Speaker B: Animals are so much more important than humans when it comes to fires as far as I'm concerned.
[00:53:58] Speaker A: Like, I like the videos of like, the owners, like, fucking just taking a bucket of water, dousing themselves and running in and going and saving their animal.
[00:54:05] Speaker B: That's not how fire works.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: What do you mean?
[00:54:09] Speaker B: I would douse myself and like, I would get like a blanket and then I would douse myself in oil and then put water on top of the oil.
[00:54:15] Speaker A: That, that what? Yeah, oil.
[00:54:20] Speaker B: Oil and water don't mix.
[00:54:21] Speaker A: Yeah, it rises the surface. So you just be covered in a fire blanket.
[00:54:25] Speaker B: Yeah, but the water will be underneath, trapped.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: No, I understand.
[00:54:29] Speaker B: This is not how it works. I'm just here because I wanted to see the look on your face.
[00:54:33] Speaker A: It's like, hope, science.
[00:54:37] Speaker B: I forgot that term you came up with.
[00:54:40] Speaker A: Like, I hope this is how it works.
[00:54:43] Speaker B: No, I would not run into a burning building.
[00:54:45] Speaker A: I would.
[00:54:46] Speaker B: I would wait for a firefighter to get there.
[00:54:47] Speaker A: Nope.
[00:54:49] Speaker B: Okay. I checked my statement. I would probably run in for goose. Not chai tea, but I'd run in for goose.
[00:54:55] Speaker A: I mean, we don't have a huge building, so it's, you know.
[00:54:59] Speaker B: Well, no. Chai tea would have the brains to run out the house. Goose would not. He would hold up in one of three places.
[00:55:06] Speaker A: So. Yeah, I mean, like. But, like, seeing, like, dudes, like, you know, take a bucket of water, douse themselves using Lydonfrost effect to go in and save their fucking animal. Come in, burnt the shit, and then they're like, yeah, I did it. I'm like, that's a good video. I like those videos.
And also, firefighters are hotter than cops. I have never seen a fat firefighter ever.
[00:55:30] Speaker B: You're not going to, like, never.
[00:55:34] Speaker A: Like, they're all fucking, you know, eight.
[00:55:36] Speaker B: Pack, fucking ripped a real thing. I thought six was the max.
[00:55:42] Speaker A: Well, yeah.
[00:55:43] Speaker B: I don't know how many muscles.
[00:55:45] Speaker A: I'm embellishing the story. Oh, you know, giant fucking tree trunk cocks. Ah. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, where do you get these models?
Like. Like, imagine, like, if they had, like, a calendar of cops.
[00:56:02] Speaker B: I mean, I know they do firefighter calendars.
[00:56:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I know.
[00:56:06] Speaker B: Especially, though, I like the ones with kittens.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: I kind of want to see if they have firefighter calendars now.
[00:56:11] Speaker B: Of course.
[00:56:12] Speaker A: Firefighter calendars, Colorado Springs.
[00:56:14] Speaker B: No, you need to add with kittens.
[00:56:16] Speaker A: No. Colorado Springs firefighter. No, I don't. I'm not logging in.
[00:56:32] Speaker B: There's no point if there's no kittens.
[00:56:34] Speaker A: Yeah, like, look at these guys. Fucking hottest shit. Oh, look at that.
Just. Goddamn, they're fucking built.
[00:56:43] Speaker B: I'm not gonna deny that.
[00:56:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I fucking love it. You know? Like, I'm like a cop calendar. Just be like, fucking dad bods all over the place. Like, I got my gun.
Saving the world, killing black people, and giving speeding tickets.
[00:57:04] Speaker B: Yeah, see it? Like, this one has kittens.
[00:57:10] Speaker A: Very adorable.
[00:57:11] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:57:12] Speaker A: We can get that.
[00:57:13] Speaker B: Kittens make everything better, and they use.
[00:57:15] Speaker A: That money to fucking support the fire station, too.
[00:57:18] Speaker B: Kittens make everything better.
[00:57:20] Speaker A: And also, like, if you want to, like, walk up to a fire station and just cleaning it, they'll let you, like, go and honk the horn or whatever.
Like, they'll just, like, sit in it and, like, they'll, like, you know, talk to you and stuff.
Like, they're very sociable, like, approachable people.
[00:57:39] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:57:39] Speaker A: Compared to fucking, you know, police. What are you doing on our property? You need to leave our property. This is our property. We're gonna shoot you to death if you don't leave our property. And it's like, you know, gangs are just police. Like, police are just gangs.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's it. That's literally it.
[00:58:00] Speaker A: Like, one gang to another. Like, hey, venezuelan guys, we're gonna come in there, like, two days. Like, be gone.
But now on to. Am I the asshole? Um, there. There's other fucking stories. Uh, off or. Well, Wells Fargo woman was found dead at her cubicle. That's what you call working someone to death.
Um, she, like, went out on a Friday and just never came out until, like, oh, she's decomposing in her office. Fuck.
Hong Kong, um, is urging students to try badminton instead of sex. I'm sure they're gonna hit the shuttlecock once, and, like, you want to hit my cock with your mouth? And they're like, yeah, we're gonna do that instead.
A toddler was locked in a fucking bathroom for crying and on flight in China.
The grandmother said it was okay.
One dude fucking died, and a bunch of other kids were burnt out a campfire as they threw gasoline, I guess, onto it. So that's the stories we didn't really get into.
But now onto am I asshole by constant primary. 800 04:00 a.m. i. The asshole for forcing my son to give me half of his income.
I won the lottery. $1,000 a day for life. I'm 58. My son is 19. Congratulations. I went to him and told him that I wanted to make a deal. I would give him the ticket. In return, he would give me half of the money until I die. Then he gets all the money. He said he needs to think about it.
He came back and said it really wasn't fair for me to want half. And that he said that I could live another 40 years, that he might need the money more, and that I should just take 20%. I said I would think about it. I signed the ticket and claimed the lump sum.
I'm seeing a lawyer to set my son up for life. His education will be paid for. When he gets older, he'll be able to purchase a home for free. Basically, a trust fund will be set up so he'll get a good amount of money for the rest of his life. Now he is pissed that I went back on my offer. I thought I was being smart, but didn't realize how greedy he was. He also told my ex about the money, and she is pissed that I'm not giving her anything. We have been divorced for years. I owe her nothing. No, I won't give you anything if you ask. There is a reason I'm using a throwaway.
So, yeah, fucking take the money, use it for yourself. Fuck your kid, fuck everyone, and just use it for you. You know, go on lavish. Like, retire. Just use all the. You shouldn't tell them shit.
[01:01:04] Speaker B: I'm surprised he went with the lump sum.
[01:01:09] Speaker A: I mean, like.
[01:01:10] Speaker B: Like, I would. I wouldn't do it. I'd do the other way where you get, like, payments.
[01:01:15] Speaker A: Well, I'm pretty sure there's, like, thousand dollars for life or $1,000 a day is, like, for, like, 25 years. Like, there's, like, a limit on it.
[01:01:23] Speaker B: Of course there's a limit on it.
[01:01:26] Speaker A: But, like, it just, like, sounds better, but, like, if you actually, like, read, like, the fine print.
[01:01:33] Speaker B: So is the ex the kid's mom?
[01:01:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Okay. Because that kind of changes things a little bit.
[01:01:41] Speaker A: He also told my ex about the money, and she is pissed. I'm not giving her anything. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's, you know.
[01:01:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:01:49] Speaker A: Him and his ex wife.
[01:01:50] Speaker B: Nice kids. An idiot.
[01:01:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, fucking $500 a day? That's $2,500 a week.
[01:01:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:02:01] Speaker A: For the rest of your fucking life.
[01:02:03] Speaker B: Although op was kind of an idiot for thinking about sending it over to a 19 year old, though. That wasn't exactly. That wasn't the smartest decision, either. Am gonna hold op accountable for that little bit. Well, I mean, 19 year olds can't make good decisions.
[01:02:17] Speaker A: But here would be. The thing is, you know, if he got 80 years of a day for the rest of his life, you know, that's a whole lot better than 40 years.
[01:02:31] Speaker B: Okay. No, what happened is, he gave the offer to the kid. The kid went and talked to his mom. His mom was like, no, that's bullshit. And she's the one who was the decision maker behind what the 19 year old did. And that's where that 20% came from. It came from the ex wife, because she was gonna take all the money.
So Opie wasn't the asshole, but he was kind of stupid.
That's where I'm gonna land.
[01:02:56] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, you know, here's what you do, is you fucking, you know, put up a trust fund, and then when he gets married, that's what he's doing.
No, you said it's for his education.
[01:03:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:09] Speaker A: I'm seeing a lawyer to set my set up for life. His education will be paid for when he gets older, he'll be able to purchase a home for free. Basically, a trust phone will be set up when he gets a good amount of money for the rest of his life.
[01:03:21] Speaker B: Exactly. Op's doing the way he should have done it in the first place. He just invited drama from his ex.
[01:03:28] Speaker A: Yeah, like, if your ex calls, you don't fucking pick up the phone.
[01:03:31] Speaker B: Well, no. And the 19 year old is clearly manipulated by his mother, so he's not bright either.
[01:03:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Let's see what the comments say. Your son's a greedy idiot for not taking the 50% offer.
[01:03:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:03:43] Speaker A: A 19 year old kid tried to negotiate from $180,000 a year for doing nothing to 290,000 a year with zero leverage and with surprise when it blew up in his face. What a moron. If my father had offered me that deal, I would show up at his doorstep every morning with his cash, a dozen donuts, and his coffee exactly the way he likes it.
[01:04:03] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. No, the ex was behind this because she wanted phloxes, the money that her son would be getting, and then she could spend it.
[01:04:12] Speaker A: Yeah, then it was gonna go.
[01:04:13] Speaker B: I could be completely wrong, but that's how I'm taking the situation.
[01:04:16] Speaker A: It's gonna go up to $365,000 a year once his dad passed away.
[01:04:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:04:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, it sucks that, you know, he, like, won it this fucking early into his son's life, whatever.
But, yeah, I mean, like, you do get a couple million for it, which is pretty cool.
[01:04:45] Speaker B: Hurry up because I got a pee.
[01:04:47] Speaker A: Okay.
Fucking relationship advice for a throwaway.
Accidental age gap in dating.
Male, 33, female, 24. What to do? I know Reddit tends to frown upon age gaps in relationships, but hear me out. I, 33 male, was introduced to a girl, 24 female, by our mutual friend, 35 female. We hit it off very well. We had a lot of common hobbies. Somehow we never asked each other's ages. I assumed she was near my age, 28 plus, by virtue of things in her life, like owning her own home, having been divorced, I guess she got married at 18 and bailed the next year. I came to learn, etcetera. She assumed I was in my mid twenties because I look young for my age. I don't really drink or smoke, so I have good skin, etcetera. We've had a good time together for about a month, and we've even agreed to see each other exclusively and see how it plays out. It occurred to me a day after that, though. Although we knew many things about each other, I didn't know ages. Thus, I found out she was very near a decade older than she.
I've always been disdainful of groomers and age gaps in relationships, but we really get on quite well legally. She is a whole ass adult with a job, car, and a house. As am I. However, I can't shake the feeling that it'd be a shitty person to date her, even though I want to because I have more life experiences.
I've already realized I can pretty much make her happy just by treating her with respect, kindness, which almost seems too easy.
[01:06:28] Speaker B: Okay, once you're past 30. Once we're past 23, I no longer care about age gaps. That's where I'm at. And she has her own fucking house. She's already been through a relationship that clearly she had the smarts to a dump. Because, like, if you're abandoning the marriage that early after the ceremony, like, clearly there's something wrong and you want to get out sooner rather than later, as opposed to sticking it out and waiting for your partner to change on either end. Nah, I'm perfectly fine with this.
And, yeah, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to treat your partner with respect and kindness.
[01:07:03] Speaker A: Yeah, so, op, guess what. You know, fucking go ahead and date her. It's fine.
[01:07:07] Speaker B: I don't care. I'm perfectly fine with age gaps as long as one partner is past 23. That's my cutoff.
[01:07:15] Speaker A: I'm okay with age gaps as long as it's not, like, a creepy age gap.
[01:07:20] Speaker B: Like, I consider it creepy up until 21, 22, 23 are negotiable. But past 23, I'm like, yeah, fine. It's whatever.
[01:07:27] Speaker A: Even if you're, like, 24 and he's like, 76, that'd be different.
That's a creepy age gap.
[01:07:33] Speaker B: Unless she's there for the money. And I respect that. Even so, like, marrying for money is not a bad reason to get married as far as I'm concerned.
[01:07:42] Speaker A: But.
But, yeah, I mean, that's what you.
[01:07:46] Speaker B: Did, so, yeah, I married up in life.
[01:07:50] Speaker A: So that. That's the end of the episode. Thank you all so much for fucking being here. You're all awesome. Thanks, mom. I know. You're, like, the only one. Don't tell your friends.
They'll find out that my wife, you know, was cooler than their fucking girlfriends.
[01:08:06] Speaker B: Of course I'm cool. I. Pink hair, for fuck's sake. I'm cool as shit.
[01:08:10] Speaker A: And we'll be back next week. Hopefully I'll be home in time to record an episode.
Because next week is the gun day.
[01:08:20] Speaker B: Oh, my God. You're so stoked for it.
[01:08:22] Speaker A: I'm fucking excited. Yes, you should be. I'm very happy.
[01:08:25] Speaker B: I hope you have lots of fun.
[01:08:28] Speaker A: So it'll be days on the range. Maybe Tron will be there. Maybe we'll record an episode with Tron. Maybe he'll be back.
Maybe not. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Thank you all. See ya. Bye.
