Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty. Another week, another day, spring break, going out, getting hpv. You know what it is? It's a human podcast.
You know, the only people in America that don't have HPV don't even know what it is.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: I also don't know what that is.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: It's the human papilloma. Papilloma virus.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Td.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:00:26] Speaker C: Yeah, but basically everyone has it.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like herpes.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: I think it is herpes, but okay.
[00:00:34] Speaker C: Yeah, it's herpes.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: But, yeah, I don't have herpes.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Everyone. It's a very large family of viruses. Cats have herpes. Everybody has herpes.
[00:00:47] Speaker A: I don't have herpes.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: You do not have the sexual infection form of herpes? No. But do you have herpes? Yes. It lives in your fucking eyes.
[00:00:57] Speaker A: I have herpes in my eyes?
[00:00:58] Speaker B: Yes, you have herpes in your eyes.
That's why cats, when they get stressed out, they get sneezy and they get eye discharge because the virus flares up and it irritates her and it irritates their little sinuses and they get sniffles and sneezes, like, after moves and that kind of stuff.
It's kind of cute, but also sad. But still cute.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, so, yes, you.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Have herpes in your eyes. Congratulations.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Like, how did it, like, move to, like, you know, bits and bobs, like.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: What do you mean?
[00:01:30] Speaker A: Like, like, did someone, like, like, you know, squirt like, herpes, like, they're like eye dust and like someone's puss?
[00:01:37] Speaker B: No, it's. It's a virus. It's endemic. It's everywhere.
Just like all bacteria and viruses, they're just everywhere in the environment.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: Like some dude, like, wiped his, you know, dick and his, like, chicks eye and like. Yeah, there you go. And then he gets harpies. Like, what the fuck?
[00:01:54] Speaker B: I mean, apparently if a koala pisses on, you can get chlamydia from it.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: Yeah, they're nasty little fuckers.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: So, yeah, it's everywhere. Viruses are everywhere.
[00:02:03] Speaker A: But anyway, I'm your host, Alex the Truck. This is my wife, not the truck. And then we got Courtney from across the land.
[00:02:10] Speaker C: Yep, I'm here.
[00:02:14] Speaker A: And I truly do enjoy spring break.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: What?
[00:02:20] Speaker B: I am so bitter.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Continue about spring break.
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Do you want me to start graping about what? I hate the fucking hour change.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: Oh, sorry.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: I'm talking about school. Spring break from school?
[00:02:37] Speaker B: No, but you spring forward with daylight savings.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: Yeah, no, like, that's daylight savings time. Everyone Fucking hated daylight savings time.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: God.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Like, like I had work the next day and I had also had comedy. And I'm like, oh, I've been grumpy all day today because. And I blamed it on the daylight savings time, but I'm usually grumpy anyway. No one laughed. It hurt my feelings.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I literally had to start a medication that makes me sleepy two days before daylight savings. It has been awful.
It's been awful.
[00:03:10] Speaker A: They like, gave you like, melatonin or something?
[00:03:13] Speaker B: God, I wish.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Like, hey, here's Melatonin and Ambien mixed together.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: That is the last thing I need.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
It's funny. They actually. You know how Benadryl makes you sleepy? They actually use it in a. In sleep aids.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Yeah, it's better at that than it is at being a decongestant.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: Yeah, it is.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: It's supposed to be like an anti inflammatory. I thought.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: No, it's okay. It's an antihistamine.
So histamines are cells in your body that are basically communicators to like, hey, this is a pathogen. So we need to go alert the immune system.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: You give it to cats because they hiss too mean.
It's an anti hiss too mean.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: That's really funny, actually.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: This cat's hissing at me and it's mean and it's scaring me. Give it some Benadryl.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: And also don't give your cats Benadril. It does nothing for them. It literally. It doesn't work the way it does in dogs.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: Like, what does it do for dogs?
[00:04:27] Speaker B: So it's an. It works as an antihistamine in dogs. However, cats immune responses are different and so coming at the antihistamine angle doesn't work. You have to come at it with steroids.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: You just have like a buff cat at the end of the day.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: Cats can handle. Cats can live on steroids their entire life. Like, they are so stable on that. On steroids. Like, they run on adrenaline.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Like, you know, Goose has been on prednis.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: Prednisolone for the last four, six years of his life.
[00:04:56] Speaker A: That sounds like fucking, you know, pregnancy medicine.
Like the pregnant zone.
You know, come on in, get the pregnant zone. And then it gives you all the fucking things you need.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: Okay? And it's even worse because prednisone is for dogs and prednisolone is for cats. And the number of doctors who prescribe the wrong type of pred for cats makes me so angry.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: I've had one of my friends, like, really nice beard is Like I got my nice, he told me he got his nice beard because he took prenatal pills and that's gotta be a myth.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: I'm like, although I say that, but I know absolutely nothing about reproduction.
[00:05:40] Speaker A: I'm like, well, like, well in prenatal pills there's like a bunch of vitamins and shit to help your baby grow. Yeah, but I'm like, I feel like there'd be like estrogen in there or something.
[00:05:51] Speaker B: Again, I have no idea.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: Like I, I've never, like, I don't, I'm afraid to walk up to the counter at a pharmacy and ask for anything. Like they say there's over the counter medicines. I don't, I'm, I'm afraid to ask.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: You can ask me.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: Well, I, I don't want, I don't want to bother anybody. I'm just like, I don't like talking to people. I'd rather just die slowly.
[00:06:19] Speaker C: If it's, can't you just order it through Amazon then?
[00:06:23] Speaker A: No idea.
Never even looked.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: Of course you can.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: Like I, I, sure I, I looked it up and I'm like, oh, Amazon has a pharmacy. Showed my wife and never looked again.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: Stuff's dope. It's so cheap. Like so much like, good luck through my medicine. It's cheaper just to buy through prime than it is through my insurance. It's like, oh, through insurance, 300 an odd change. Through Amazon Pharmacy, $27 an odd change. And I'm like, oh.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: Which tells you that the pharmaceutical industry could sell even cheaper than that. And they just want to make money.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: If they cure your illness, they no longer make a profit off of it.
[00:07:02] Speaker A: Yeah, like anything in the medical industry, you know, in my opinion, you know, they should not be making, you know, crazy profits. You shouldn't make enough to like pay your employees, upgrade your equipment when you need to.
[00:07:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:18] Speaker A: You know, keep the lights on, you know, just do like basic and like make like a 10 on all your, and people would start paying it, but you know, guess what happens, you know, oh look, I have a $20,000 bill. I'll just wait seven years for this to go, you know, to collections and then go away. And then they never get their money and they like write it off on taxes and so like they get all their trumped up charges and they don't have to pay no taxes on it. Hospitals.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: I hate being corporate run. I hate not having control for prices.
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Like, like nurses and, and some doctors got into it for the right reason and I, I don't blame, you know, nurses and like, that. I'm like, you are in at, like, the bottom level, and you're here to actually help people. I get that. But, you know, why does a hospital need an admin?
Like, why do you need an administrative staff off? Get out of here. You're not actually doing anything.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: The right administrative stuff does stuff. Like, they're like. So like, my manager, she was like, she ran everything. Like, she fixed things in the background. Like, if we have.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: But does. Does your administrator also do hospital work?
Do, like, they, like.
[00:08:36] Speaker B: No, she's not certified, but she will. That. She'll mop and vacuum if needed. Like, she'll clean toilets and stuff.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, there's people just sit in administration and just, you know, circle jerk people around. Big. Oh, you. You need to call billing. Oh, no, you need to talk to admin. Oh, no, you need to talk to this people. You know, it's like, you know, all these hospitals, you know, like, we should just, like, take, like, nurses and doctors, like, hostage and, like, just treat them well and just like, yeah, no, like, we just want to get you out of there, heal these people.
Like, there's a. There's so funny. I know there's a. I mean, it's not even meant to be funny, but there's a great documentary called Sicko by, like, Michael Moore, I believe it is, where he takes, like, a bunch of, like, sick people over to Cuba and, like, just, like, sneaks them in, smuggles them in, whatever, and then takes them all to doctors to get them all looked over and, you know, like, okay, yeah, you need this pill. It's going to be 75 and, like, $75, that's so cheap. And they're like, oh, no, 75 cents.
And it just, like, broke these people. I'm like, oh, yeah, American hospitals are up.
You know, like, you. You could be, you know, doing great for the population.
And, you know, you have a ton of people coming in all the time. Americans are. And, you know, they'll all get hurt all the time back. Oh, look, I scratched my finger. Like, I scratched my finger the other day throwing on chains. Like, I was throwing chains, and, like, I scratched my finger somehow, and I'm just like, yeah, whatever. And I just kept it moving.
Like, I would go to the doctor for my shoulder pain if it wouldn't cost me $10,000 for them to be like, yeah, you'll go away on its own.
Here's some Tylenol.
[00:10:42] Speaker C: You're so funny.
[00:10:43] Speaker B: You have workers come for that.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: Did you even do, like, any imaging.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: At all for my shoulder. No, it's just started hurting, like, this week. And here's how I do my medicine. If it's hurting in two weeks, I'll think about going and seeing a doctor. And then two weeks later, I still won't have seen a doctor. And then I'll just live with the pain for the rest of my life, if it still exists.
That's what being a man is.
That's what being a penis haver is. Like, ladies have it easy. You know, you're like, ah, I hurt. Go to the doctor. Because you have brains on your shoulders. But, you know, men, we're just like, it's fine, you know, we. We don't need any. Any medicine.
Like, my, My. I'm glad that my wife is here to use the health insurance.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
I've only had four doctors. I only had four doctor's appointment last month. That was it.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: Well, I'm. I would be pissed if, like, I paid for it and didn't use it.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I use it so much.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, my good. Someone should. I pay a lot of money for that health insurance.
It's a ridiculous amount of money.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: I might hit the, like, cap this year and start getting everything for free.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: That'd be dope.
[00:12:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: Then I can, like, go in and get my shoulder done.
They're like, how long has this been like this? Your shoulder is, like, disintegrated. I'm like, it's fine.
They, like, start, like, scanning other things. Like, what?
Everything in you is broken.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: That's the problem with going to doctors after you've had chronic stuff for, like, a long time, because you fix one issue and then an issue that you. You really didn't notice before because he's dealing with the main issue propped up, and now you have to go fix that issue. And then another one props up and another one props up. And it's like, it's so exhausting trying to fix my body. And I'm not even fixing it. I am maintaining.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Like, I would go in the doctor and they'd be like, do you want us to fix your penis? And I'm like, what's wrong with my penis? Like, we can fix it. You know, I'm like, I'm good.
It's like, we can add 7 inches to your penis. I'm like, how much is that? And they're like, 17 cents. I'm like, yeah, hospitals are great again.
I mean, like, hospitals are probably really happy now that, you know, everyone's complaining about tariffs and shit. And they didn't even know the word tariff existed.
You know, they, they thought it's like, you know, a ticket that a sheriff gives you. It's like a tariff. It's like, yeah, they tear it off their little pad and make, that's my tariff. A tariff from the sheriff.
[00:13:47] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:13:48] Speaker A: I know.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: That was really.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: Sometimes I'm a killer with the jokes and I'm like, oh, that, that's a thing.
Like, I didn't know.
And I, I think next week I'm gonna have my buddy Tron here and we're gonna do an episode of Argue this.
Like, like a, a. What is it? Like a reuniting. Like a, A reunion. A reunion. Like a reunion episode of Argue this.
You know, we're.
Me, an uninformed, uneducated, you know, piece of Republican goes against someone that actually like, kind of like looks into the issues.
And I, I just, you know, I talk out of my ass.
It's like my favorite thing to do because it upsets people.
Like, I, I, I read one tweet. I'm like, yep, I am an expert. I know everything about it.
And I know I can, I can recognize that.
[00:15:05] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, trust me, like, when I go through the news stories and everything, I try and be like, yeah, let's like, avoid all the stuff that Courtney hears all week long and go with different stories.
But yet still bullshit will sneak in.
Like, I have a NASA story in here.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Oh my God.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: Let me put those over there.
But I mean, like, of the latest news in Colorado, our, you know, gun restrictions are moving through the system and are moving to appropriations.
And I'm, I'm just now learning about how bills come into law. Like apparently fucking, you know, Schoolhouse Rock did nothing for me.
Like, it taught me. Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
And like, there's, you know, the bill and the steps of the white. I'm like, this song sucks. It's a depressed bill on the steps of, you know, Congress or some shit. Boo. Get back to Conjunction Junction. That song is awesome.
So now as a 33 year old man, I'm finally learning and I feel like it's too late.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Never too late.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: I'm gonna be running for Congress.
I'm gonna probably not this, like, next term, but that's where I'm after.
Get some like, Just for Men. Put a little bit of gray in my hair so it seems like I know what I'm talking about.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Just for Men.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a brand name.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: What?
[00:17:03] Speaker A: So like, dudes that are like, gray, like you know, like, it's like hair dye. Oh, that's what it is. But, like, they'll, like, you know, they have, like, some that are, like, just a touch of gray, so they pretty much run a comb through your hair and, like, it, like, dyes some of your hair's gray, so you look like salt and pepper.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: Salt and pepper is hot.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, I can just go in and beg and, like, I. I'll just straight up pull, like, the Donald Trump and just make fun of, like, my opponents all throughout the entire thing. I'm like, this guy's a idiot. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: You know, your hair goes gray. Will you keep it long for me?
[00:17:48] Speaker C: Like, why would you want him to have long hair?
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Because gray hair is so pretty.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: Like, I always feel bad for the dudes with, like, long hair that have a big ass bald spot. I'm like, dude, that looks bad.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: Why does it look bad? It just looks different. It does not look bad.
[00:18:07] Speaker A: It looks bad.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: It looks different.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: Men have no problem criticizing other men.
You know, like.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: Like, what happens when I start going bald?
[00:18:24] Speaker A: I. I'm gonna be like, I'm, like, trying jizzing in your hair. Maybe that'll bring it back.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Ew.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: A little bit of protein up there. Maybe the follicles. Yum.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: Ew.
Never again.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: Like, if you have, like, cancer or something like that, you know, like that. That's one thing. Like, there. There is, like, if I get cancer.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: Do not shave your head, for the love of God.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: I'm not shaving my head for you.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Okay. Thank God, cuz, please. Okay. I love you, and you should do whatever you want with your hair, but please don't shave it because I get cancer. That's so tacky.
And I. I feel bad for saying that, but I'm kind of. That's. That's kind of. And I have never, ever experienced it. So I'm sitting on my own ass with no ability to have. With no understanding of the sympathy I should feel. So I am speaking from complete ignorance, and I think it's tacky, but I'm not in that situation, and I don't want the other people to feel bad. I just think it's tacky.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, if you want to, like, you know, donate your hair for, like, you know, locks for love, there's better, you know, organizations.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: You know, locks for love is kind of greedy now.
[00:19:38] Speaker B: It's kind of like. Think of it like PETA.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Think about it like Susan G. Komen. You Know, but yeah, like, I. I find it, you know, great to, like, donate your hair for, you know, kids that have cancer, that shave their heads to, you know, feel more confident as they go out into the world with a shaved head and having to do chemo.
Like, I've had a few friends had cancer, and, you know, chemo fucking takes it the fuck out of them.
[00:20:08] Speaker B: Yeah, no, and it fucks with your brain and stuff. Like, it does harm all over your body. Like, there is a reason there, more than one reason why I would never do chemotherapy. Like, if I get cancer, that's kind of fucking it, and I kind of don't give a shit.
[00:20:23] Speaker C: Alex, why would, like, if it was treatable, like, run round and it didn't do anything to you, you wouldn't do it?
[00:20:32] Speaker B: No. Chemo fucking suck. No, Courtney. Hey. Chemo sucks. And B, I'm being taken out by one of the few remaining predators of the human species. Of course I'm going to respect it.
[00:20:42] Speaker A: I just turn on the microwave and open the door and beg your sound.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: If it's, like, lopping off, like. Like, if there's, like, surgery involved as opposed to having to do chemo, that's different. But if I have to do chemo and there's something else that can be done, fuck that.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: What if I get, like, testicular cancer and they're like, hey, we can lop off your ball or you die.
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Would you lop your ball off?
[00:21:02] Speaker A: Yeah, just I grab some scissors from the table and be like, boop. You know, I'm like, these things are gross anyway.
[00:21:09] Speaker C: You don't want to do that.
[00:21:11] Speaker A: Why?
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Okay, A, earballs are gross, but B, just. You kind. I think you want to keep one. Although I say that being upset that I still have one. Fucking.
[00:21:21] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, when I'm. I'm already, yeah, I'm sure fucking losing testosterone. I don't think it comes from my balls.
[00:21:28] Speaker B: I also don't know where to. I'm assuming it comes from an endocrine gland in your brain.
[00:21:35] Speaker A: No idea.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: I don't have to know a lot of brain stuff for cat medicine.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: So, like, you know, if you, you know, cut off the balls of, like, a boy dog, you know, it doesn't, like, become any less of a fucking boy dog. Just stops humping shit.
[00:21:52] Speaker B: So for show dogs, they'll neuter them, and then they put little pearls back in to make it look like they still have balls for show.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: Pearls are small.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Like, it. Like. I'm describing it as, like, a shape, like, I guess like a Ball you will. Like, I don't know if it's made out of plastic or silicone. Pearl just seemed like the appropriate word to use. Kind of like on, like, a tongue in cheek.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: Like, bouncy balls in there.
Fucking vending machine.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Like, I loved those. I had a giant bucket of those growing up. Like, I had, like. I think I had, like, 56, and I could drop them all out, and I'd organize them by color and. Or I would organize them by size. Like, I love. I love organizing. But, like, they were so much fun. I had so many pretty colors.
I had more bouncing balls than I have Hot Wheels or I had.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: It would be such a distraction for the judges because, like, they bounce off each other really well, and so they'd just be bouncing all over the place. I know.
[00:22:50] Speaker B: They were so good.
They were just perfect.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: He just, like, keeps on hitting the dog's dick, and he, like, just jizzes everywhere.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: Like, they were the best bouncy balls. Nothing ever bounced better than them.
And I had a wide range of different brands, but those were the best. Always.
[00:23:08] Speaker A: See, like, I had a dark one. There was, like, a pizza place. I forget which one it was. And it had, like, a little pinball machine that used those bouncy balls.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: I feel like it was Little Caesars.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't Little Caesars.
[00:23:24] Speaker A: Maybe Domino's or Pizza Hut, one of them. I think it was Domino's.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: I think it was Domino's, too, but I could be wrong.
[00:23:30] Speaker A: But it had, like, this little thing, and, you know, you just got to play a game of pinball. You know, you don't win anything.
[00:23:38] Speaker B: Pinball was dope, though.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: But, yeah, it was, like, unpowered pinball, and you just had little two buttons at the end. You got a bouncy ball.
[00:23:45] Speaker B: Yeah, like, dope.
[00:23:47] Speaker A: And I think there was, like, one bouncy ball that, like, entitled you to, like, a free pizza or, like, free, like, crazy sticks or whatever the fuck they had.
[00:23:54] Speaker B: Okay. It must have been Little Caesars because you said crazy sticks.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: Any. Any breadsticks. They call them crazy sticks.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: Oh, that's true. Ah. Remember the pinball game on, like, the old fucking Microsoft computers?
Chef Kiss.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Space cadet is what it was called.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: That was the tits. I played that so much growing up.
[00:24:16] Speaker A: I bet you it's still on the fucking computers. Like, I wonder.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: You'll have to download it.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: Let's see.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: You'll have to download it from the Internet, babe.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: Space Cadet, Pinball.
[00:24:31] Speaker B: What? Shut Up.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: I hate how, like, Microsoft, like, immediately just goes to, you know, ping or bing.
[00:24:40] Speaker B: Oh, well, you have to set your preference.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:45] Speaker B: Oh, God, that is so nostalgic.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Oh, shit. No, babe, I was about to have an ASMR moment.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm not doing an ASMR moment.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Ugh.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Babe, you can play it later.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: No, that, no, babe, that was such a tease.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Yeah, please.
Oh. What?
There.
[00:25:16] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:25:18] Speaker A: And then you gotta kind of. Oh, my God.
There.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: Oh, that felt amazing.
[00:25:26] Speaker A: A 1995 game.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: Jesus.
[00:25:30] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember when it came out. Yeah, I feel so goddamn old right now.
[00:25:37] Speaker B: Oh, it felt so good.
[00:25:40] Speaker A: It, like it hurts me in my soul.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Why? Like, it's so achy in all the right parts.
[00:25:48] Speaker A: Like when you just, like, know, like, like, like when kids are like the 90s. What was that, like, a hundred years ago? And I'm like, piece of kid now.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: They missed out on ours, but they're living theirs.
[00:26:04] Speaker A: No, I, like, I, I hate kids. Like today there's skibidi toilets and they're, you know, whatever tick tock they have. I, I.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: Like, I, we're turning into the older generation and we're counting on them with so much contempt.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: I, I, I feel like the shit that I was into as a kid wasn't as dumb as the shit that kids are into today.
[00:26:37] Speaker C: Wait, what?
[00:26:39] Speaker A: Like, do you remember, like, you know, as a kid, like, you know, the things that you enjoy doing? Like, the dumb things that you're, like, embarrassed to talk about, you know, like, like, what was that, like, dolphin notebook that all the girls had?
[00:26:56] Speaker B: What?
[00:26:57] Speaker A: The dolphin notebook that everyone had.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: What's a dolphin notebook?
[00:27:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You know what I'm talking about right there. It's like a name.
[00:27:05] Speaker C: Wasn't it just like a certain artist that did that?
[00:27:07] Speaker A: Yeah, Lisa.
[00:27:10] Speaker C: Lisa Frank.
[00:27:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:27:11] Speaker C: Lisa. Yeah, yeah. Alex doesn't remember.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: Oh, you, you weren't around during Lisa Frank.
Lisa Frank Notebook.
The, Is that Lisa Frank notebooks?
[00:27:25] Speaker C: It's not the same person.
[00:27:28] Speaker B: Oh, it's not. Oh, my God, it's so pretty.
It's a little cartoony for me, but it's so pretty.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that was the whole point. It was very cartoony.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: It's so pretty. Yeah, but like, there's so many of them.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: There's so many of them. And, like, every girl had it growing up.
[00:27:49] Speaker B: I like, Courtney, did I have one of these?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, like the, the cats. Unicorns.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: There are cats and there are unicorns.
Oh, my God, that's so pretty. I wish I had a use for a notebook I get one, but I don't.
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Oh, they have a whole bunch of.
It's not just notebooks. It's stickers. It's backpack. It's keychains.
[00:28:16] Speaker B: Oh my God. Go back to the keychains.
Although, quite honestly, I can't put any more decorations on my purse. It'd be gaudy.
[00:28:22] Speaker A: Yeah, it's pins.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: I don't understand lunchboxes.
[00:28:26] Speaker A: You put them on your backpack or whatever. Yeah, they had fucking nails. Yeah. Now they have way more. Shit. Holy shit. Yeah, they have Crocs. They have Lisa Frank crocs.
[00:28:37] Speaker B: Everything has crocs. Purina has Crocs.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: They have a hotel of Lisa Frank.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: I want to go there.
[00:28:44] Speaker A: No, you can pay for that yourself.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Obviously I'm paying for that for myself. I wouldn't drag you to that, babe. I respect you too much.
[00:28:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I've heard that before. I respect you too much.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: I mean, sometimes it's true, but yeah, like they.
[00:29:01] Speaker A: God damn fucking Lisa Frank has fucking popped the fuck. It's Lisa Frank. Even still alive. Like, I don't even know who Lisa Frank is.
It was just like a fucking brand, cuz. Like it was like their name on top of everything.
[00:29:18] Speaker C: Yeah, brand.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: But. But yeah, like you'd go to school and like all the girls would have, you know, Lisa Frank, you know, notebooks, snow, rainbow, leopards. Yeah.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: And it was glitter too.
Yeah, it was like glitter on top of it and like glitter everywhere.
You cannot.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: I know, but I wish we could.
I love that B, that's so pretty.
Oh, it's out of stock.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that one is out of stock yet.
[00:29:55] Speaker B: I love. That'd be such a cute. Do they do puzzles?
[00:29:58] Speaker A: I. I'm sure they do. They did. They did a hotel.
Like, I. I would be surprised if they did not do a, a puzzle. Let's see.
Lisa Frank puzzle. The Lisa Frank inspired puzzles.
Yeah, Lisa Frank puzzles. Yes. They. They do puzzles.
[00:30:20] Speaker B: Oh my God. I want a puzzle with the rainbow snow leopard.
Although the kitty Angel's really cute too.
[00:30:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, this was what girls were into and this now.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: I missed out on so much fun stuff growing up.
[00:30:36] Speaker A: You missed out on Care Bears.
[00:30:38] Speaker B: Okay. Quite honestly, my only experience with Care Bears has been the Adventure Time episode. And I love that. And I'd never demean it by watching something different. It is on a pedestal.
[00:30:50] Speaker A: Care Bears.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: You know, those things are weird. I say that, but then I like going to build a bear, so that's kind of hypocritical of me.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Well, now the Care Bears are weird. But back in the day.
[00:31:02] Speaker B: Yeah, that's still weird.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: Like, they use, like. It was like, My Little Pony, but, like, you know, with bears.
[00:31:10] Speaker B: I loved MLP, but 3rd gen. 3rd gen only.
[00:31:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, you. You missed out on, like, so much.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: I did.
[00:31:21] Speaker A: And, like, you know, guys and boys, like, growing up, we had, like, GI Joe, you know, Nintendo Entertainment System and playing with sticks outside.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I'm so glad I grew up before phones became mainstream and I spent so much time playing outside as a kid. I am so grateful I had that. I mean, it's also an escape, but I'm also really grateful I had that experience before phones.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: I mean, babe, I can't believe that you, like, at your very first job, saved up enough money to buy me and buy me an iPad or an ipod for my birthday one year when we started dating.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: Hot touch.
[00:32:01] Speaker B: I can't believe you did that. I had no idea how much money that was.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: There's a lot of money for me.
[00:32:05] Speaker B: I can't believe you did that.
[00:32:07] Speaker A: It was homeless at the time.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, babe. I feel so bad that you did that. I loved it to pieces until it broke, but I.
Oh, I feel so bad, but thank you.
[00:32:19] Speaker A: Well, now you have an iPhone, so.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I know, but you.
You delivered.
[00:32:25] Speaker A: Yeah. I also got you an iPad, too, during Black Friday. Yeah, I worked there. And I. I remember working at Wally World.
I. I don't know why people don't actually say names, but I. I hated, you know, working there every goddamn day.
And, like, when they fired me, they had, like, three people in the room. Like, I guess people, like, cry and freak out when they get fired. Fired from retail.
The happiest day of my life.
Like, I was so, like, we're letting you go. I'm like, yes, I'm free. I went around telling everyone. I'm like, I'm out of here.
[00:33:07] Speaker B: You were elated.
[00:33:10] Speaker A: I was so. And everyone was so goddamn jealous. Like, I wish I could have. It's like, my last day of prison.
Yeah. I'm, like, going around telling all the other inmates, I'm outta here today, bitches.
[00:33:26] Speaker B: I'm gone.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: Fuck you.
[00:33:30] Speaker B: You get a severance package?
[00:33:32] Speaker A: No, I got unemployment, which is fucking great.
And then immediately after that, like, I, like, went straight to North Dakota.
[00:33:45] Speaker B: You did.
[00:33:48] Speaker A: Where I made way more. I'm like, holy shit. You can make this much money? I went from, like, making, like, $8 an hour to making, like, 22, which is insane. Which is an insane amount of money.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: And it'd be. And think how much More it'd be today with inflation.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: I mean, I make, I make more in 22 now like, like if some job was like, we'll pay you 22 an hour. Go yourself.
Yeah, I don't make, you know, the money I, or the hours I did in oil filled, but you know, still awesome.
Paid off my college debt immediately.
Let's see how much time did.
Holy fuck. We already blew some through some time. All right, let's get into some fucking news stories.
Apparently a tornado came through and destroyed like a bunch of fucking houses and killed 20 people.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: Oh my God. Tornadoes can do that. That's so odd.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: Like, I feel like if you get killed by a tornado, it's your fault.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: No, that's dope as fuck. I want to be taken out by mother nature.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Like you, you have to be doing something stupid.
Like, like I've been in tornadoes, okay? Like, I'm not speaking from like a spot of like ignorance. Like, oh, you've never been in torn. I have, I've been in multiple tornadoes. We had a tornado shelter and we had plenty of time to get down to the tornado shelter and wait it out and like, okay, the tornado's gone now and we can go back upstairs.
So yeah, if you get killed by a tornado, you kind of just had it coming. You did something to piss off that tornado, it wanted you dead.
You know, you're like, you, God, you can't take me out. I don't know.
[00:35:48] Speaker B: Tornadoes are like hella fast. They're not slow.
[00:35:51] Speaker A: They go around in a circle, but they're slow moving across the land.
And when you see like the funnel clouds forming, you're like, oh. And then you see it coming to touch down.
Like you have plenty of time and plenty of warning. You have a tornado warning up and then you have the tornado sirens which.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: Are loud as they're really cool sounding siren though.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: It's like a kid crying. It's like they start off like small, like non stop and it's like that was okay.
I don't know. I don't listen to kids cry.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: I do my best to avoid that.
I did deal with so many kids at my job, it's annoying. It's not their fault. It's not currently not the owner's fault, but it's like, oh my God, people.
[00:36:48] Speaker A: Just bring in baby goats all the time.
[00:36:50] Speaker B: Oh God, you're not funny.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: Pretty goddamn good.
[00:36:55] Speaker B: No, it's not.
[00:36:56] Speaker A: But yeah, people are like really sad. And it's like Missouri and, and Texas. Yeah, Missouri had 12 fatalities.
You know, it's Like, I, I, like, I'm sure the people that died in Missouri were like, thank God.
And like they just went out to accept their fate. And it was like my last day at like Walmart, like going around telling everyone I'm dying today.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:23] Speaker A: And they're just like super duper happy.
But yeah, I lived in Missouri too and so, yeah, we had a tornado up there. Few didn't die though.
Survived it quite well.
They even like destroyed the building I was in. It's crazy.
So, I mean, and it kind of sucks for those people, but, you know, you get what you get.
There is a few astronauts that are stuck up in space and a SpaceX flight was delayed because there was like something wrong with like a hydraulic clamp.
But the, there's two astronauts. Well, there was their names, it was like Wilmore and Williams. Like they have like the very close names. Just two people that have been in space for like nine months and I'm like, I kind of wonder if they up there, like they, they just been stuck and it's like, I'm sure they've had like a bored day. And like, you know, I wonder, you know, what sex and space would feel like.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: Feel different.
[00:38:49] Speaker A: What?
[00:38:50] Speaker B: Why would it feel different?
[00:38:51] Speaker A: Because you're floating around, but you can't.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: Make your own inertia.
[00:38:56] Speaker A: What are you talking about? You can. You grab onto them and just thrust.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: I know, but wouldn't it be like. I feel like you would have set my stomach to be spinning around and stuff.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: You'll be spinning around.
You just be in zero GS.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's not like I've. Okay. I don't know how G's work. I'm not gonna lie.
[00:39:15] Speaker A: Like in water, but without the water.
[00:39:18] Speaker B: Oh, what's I do like, it was fun having sex in the water.
[00:39:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Bush Wilmore and Sunny Williams.
So, yeah, they're going to be coming back, I think next Wednesday.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: Thank God.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Wednesday, March 19th, they would depart the space station.
They had to move up the mission. And yeah, it's gonna be done by Elon Musk. So, you know, there you go.
I love how they like put NASA all over the rocket anyway.
[00:39:59] Speaker B: Yeah, branding is weird when it comes to that kind of stuff.
[00:40:02] Speaker A: It's like no one cares.
[00:40:04] Speaker B: No, I do care. Like, I want these people out of space.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: Let them. Like, we, we should like send prisoners to space.
[00:40:15] Speaker B: Like, okay, we don't need to recreate Lord of the Flies on a space station.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: Oh, it. You, you don't send children up there.
Like, like murderers and Stuff. And so like, you, you have like 10, like, docking ports and, you know, you send in new prisoners with like, new weapons and it's like, there you go. And you just like, televise it and shoot it back down to Earth.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: So. Space gladiators.
[00:40:41] Speaker A: Space gladiators. That's brilliant.
Space gladiators. Yeah, I would love that. I would watch it all the time.
And like, the, the people that are inside that are alive wouldn't know which one they're gonna talk up to because there's no windows seeing out. And so like, they just like, you know, and then get released in with like, new weapons, like bats and whatnot. And like, they would have zero experience in space at all.
And like anytime, like, they, you know, get released in like half an hour after they get released, then like, you know, a new, like, package like food and gets, you know, shot into there.
And then like the original, like, capsule, like, flies back down to Earth and picks up new prisoners.
[00:41:30] Speaker B: There's an episode of Star Trek that's like that.
[00:41:34] Speaker A: Like, like my favorite thing about Star Trek is Spot the cat that Data has.
Like, like that, that. That's it. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I, I watched like a compilation of like, Spot. I'm like, yeah, like Data loves Spot.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Although I got to say, I only watched Gen1. I don't watch Gen2. I respect the Borg and I'm scared of the Borg and the borg stays in Gen 2.
[00:42:07] Speaker A: I, I remember watching the last episode. I'm like, oh, no, John Luke Picard, your Borg now.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it was the best outcome, though.
I respect the Borg and I fear the Borg.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: Up next, there. There is a new science, conspiracy that says poor sleep can make you more susceptible to conspiracy theories.
[00:42:39] Speaker B: Oh, that's why you're so into them right now.
[00:42:43] Speaker A: I, I get boss ass sleep. Lack of sleep, insomnia along with depression may lower your guard against misinformation.
Poor sleep can make you susceptible to a wide range of physical and mental health issues, including heart disease, high blood pressure, and anxiety.
[00:43:03] Speaker B: Yeah, no sleep. You need sleep.
[00:43:07] Speaker A: But new research indicates it may also increase your chances of yet another unwanted outcome. Embracing conspiracy theories, you know, or you know, you can just call it what it is, correct?
Like, people, you know, thought MK Ultra was conspiracy theory, and now the government's like, yeah, that was actually real. We did that. We brainwash people with LSD and sorry. And then like, I, I feel like everyone that, like, lost like, credibility for having that conspiracy theory should get a check.
I mean, it's only a Conspiracy theory. If it's been proven 100 wrong, like, you know, the birds aren't real. Conspiracy birds are very real. You know, my cat has shown me that multiple times. Here's a bird head, here's a bird liver, Here's a, you know, bird wing.
[00:44:07] Speaker B: Like the one time she killed the bird and ate it in front of their family.
[00:44:12] Speaker A: I love mochi. She's the best cat ever.
But I'm like, no one in America gets good sleep. I, I, I, I fully believe this. I, Philip, believe that, that there's like zero people that are like, yeah, I'm getting my full eight, you know, and unless they're like rich and don't work, pretty much.
I feel like this is just a conspiracy theory, you know, made by some, you know, website to be like, you know, you're just delusional. It's fine.
Is written by Andrew Paul.
Andrew Paul. You know, show me some more science. We'll, we'll, you know, have this as a hypothesis until it's become real.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: That's how it works.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: But speaking of conspiracies, a Virginia zoo responds to the gorilla escape rumors by saying, we don't have those.
What?
[00:45:28] Speaker C: Oh my God. That's actually pretty fucking funny.
[00:45:31] Speaker A: A Virginia school responded to rumors of an escaped gorilla in Norfolk by confirming that not only were all of its animals accounted for, but the zoo doesn't even have gorillas.
Social media lit up with the reports of gorilla on the loose following a power outage on Tuesday night in the Granby street area with several Facebook users claiming to have seen the large primate, the Virginia.
[00:46:02] Speaker C: That's so funny.
[00:46:03] Speaker A: The Virginia school, the Virginia Zoo, put the rumor to rest, joking that the sightings were likely. The facilities mascot, Zoo Squatch.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: This sounds like a fucking prank.
[00:46:18] Speaker A: It's a fucking great, you know, and they do have like. Here, let me share the fucking screen. A mascot.
[00:46:27] Speaker B: Oh my God, this is such a good prank.
This is high schooler prank shit right here.
[00:46:34] Speaker A: Of the fucking actual, goddamn, you know, zoo Squatch.
[00:46:44] Speaker C: Oh my God.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: And I, I, I fully love it. It's great.
[00:46:49] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Good job, Virginia. Like, if I lived in Virginia, I'd go to this zoo now just for this publicity, just all on its own.
But yeah, people are dumb. People believe anything.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: People will believe anything. It's concerning.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: I mean, it is what it is. I mean, like, that's why you keep get your parents off of Facebook.
Just be like, hey, how about you put Facebook down for a second? Not everything on there is true.
Most stuff on the Internet's not true.
[00:47:40] Speaker B: Facebook is the highest source of misinformation.
[00:47:43] Speaker A: I mean, I feel like this podcast has quite a bit of like, you know, misinterpreted news stories or misread news stories or just false news stories that I did read correctly.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: We're not here claiming that we're correct.
[00:47:56] Speaker A: I'm here for entertainment value.
[00:47:58] Speaker B: Precisely.
[00:47:58] Speaker A: And just be like, hey, mom, I'm still alive.
Because she's like the one person listens.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: The mascot looks more like Chewy from Star Wars.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Kind of. Yeah. He has like, yeah. Chewy head and like a shitty bodysuit. Yeah, like he got it off like Teemu or something.
[00:48:16] Speaker B: That's precisely where that came from.
[00:48:19] Speaker A: But by BBC Big Black Cox News Network.
Keep kids off of Roadblocks. If you're worried it's CEO tells parents.
[00:48:29] Speaker B: The fuck is Roblox? I don't even know what this game.
[00:48:31] Speaker A: I have no idea. It's a fucking kids game, I guess that, you know, you can do a bunch of different shit, you know, keep your kids off the fucking Internet if you're worried, you know, like, don't give them unfettered access to, you know, the Internet because, like, then they're going to start doing cringy shit and it's bad.
[00:48:53] Speaker B: Did you ever play games on Miniclip Mine Clip? No.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: Mini clip probably they're like a bunch of flash games and now Flash is dead.
[00:49:06] Speaker B: I missed the pizza game.
[00:49:09] Speaker C: But never mind. I don't even know.
[00:49:13] Speaker A: Yeah, but again, I guess a bunch of kids are playing Roblox. I guess it was like a kids game. You're like, it's like Minecraft, but like, there's like a bunch of different types of games in it. I don't know, I've never played it, so I don't really give a shit.
But, you know, with anything on the Internet, you know, everything can be bad and everything can get taken advantage of. You know, keep your kids off of it. And like the fucking. A bunch of parents, I guess, have been pestering the CEO back. You know, you. You need to fucking, you know, make it more kid friendly. It's like, get your kids the off of here.
You know, when. When asked his message to parents who don't want their kids to be on the platform, the CEO said, my first message would be, if you're not comfortable, don't let your kids be on Roblox. Sounds a little counterintuitive, but I always trust parents to make their own decisions.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: And they're the ones complaining about it.
[00:50:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, if you don't want your kids playing video games if, you know, you, like, see your kid doing something that you're like, I don't like that. Fucking change it. Very easy, you know, don't. Don't be a lunatic.
You know, like, if your kid is like, like, don't put. Don't let your kid have, like, unfettered access to YouTube or any, like, online video game unless you're watching them. Like, if they're playing, like, a single player game. Sure, whatever.
[00:50:45] Speaker B: Pretty much.
[00:50:47] Speaker A: But it shouldn't be the Internet's responsibility to babysit your child.
[00:50:51] Speaker B: No, it's not.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That. That's all I'm saying. With that last story, and this is, like, the. One of the most ridiculous.
American family seeks asylum in Canada, citing Trump.
[00:51:14] Speaker B: That's hilarious.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Caitlin Berg, she said, when I. When I saw what happened, Donald Trump being elected, my gut started turning. It's. A family from Illinois is anxiously waiting a decision from a Canadian tribunal as they seek asylum north of the border, claiming America's politics have made them feel unsafe.
Now, what would be hilarious is if Canada becomes America's 51st state, like, right after they get accepted, and they're like, you're safe. Oh, no, sorry, you're. You're now in an American state again.
And, like, no. And now you have to, like, go down to Mexico to, like, escape. You're like, mexico, take us in. And they, like, chop them up.
But in all reality, you know, let it play out. Let's see what happens. You already dealt with four years of Trump before.
You know, let's see what happens.
And then I guarantee you, after Trump is done, Kamala Harris is gonna sweep right in and win the next four years.
[00:52:32] Speaker C: I don't think so. I don't know. People don't like her. I think they're Gavin Newsom.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: I don't like Gavin Newsom either. I don't like any of these California, you know, he, like, you know, Kamala Harris was your old district or your attorney general, and, you know, Gam Newson's your governor, and, yeah, now we don't need to make, you know, it's the United States of California.
But, yeah, apparently that this, you know, lady and her family got all bent out of shape heading to Canada.
Yes. Mel, Cake. You know, get comfy. We're almost done.
Because she has, you know, kids that are, you know, transgender, and the other is gender fluid, and she's like, I don't. I don't like the fact that, you know, Trump is kind of attacking us.
He's Like, Trump is only attacking people in the government, so, I mean, it's, it's fine, you know, do whatever you want to do, you know, homeschool your kids. Why not?
Or if someone, you know, made like a, you know, school for, you know, the lgbt, you know, school.
[00:54:06] Speaker B: Like, yes, because segregation is definitely the answer.
[00:54:10] Speaker A: Well, you don't have to segregate. Like, no one's forcing it, but it's like, if you feel like you'd be, you know, like, we have gay bars, we have gay bars and cowboy bars, and nothing bad happens except, you know, sometimes some of the gay bars get shot up by people secretly in the closet.
But yeah, you know, if you want to, you know, make a school for, you know, people to feel more comfortable with whatever, you know, that they want to, you know, be, then, yeah, make it yout know, you should feel comfortable, you know, being in a school. But, you know, sometimes kids are fucking, you know, corny as fuck and, you know, want to be, you know, cringy little fuck darts and, you know, make people feel uncomfortable just for fun, you know, if you're that kind of kid, don't do that. Okay, Knock it off. No one thinks they're cool for it.
Now let's get into am I the asshole?
You know, Am I the asshole? First one by available offer. 6, 3, 4. Am I the asshole for refusing to lend my friend money after she bought Gucci shoes instead of paying me back?
So I let my friend $1200 a few months ago, and she was struggling with bills and asked for help. So I helped cover her rent and groceries, assuming that she'd pay me back when she could. Until last week, she hasn't repaid me, but guess what? She posted on Instagram showing off her brand new Gucci shoes. Not a gift, not secondhand. She bought them herself.
I asked about the money she owes me and she said, oh, I'll get it to you soon, don't worry. Now she's asking for another loan because she's short on rent again. I told her absolutely not until she pays me back first. She got mad, saying I was being selfish and holding a grudge over something small. Am I the asshole for refusing to lend her more money?
[00:56:18] Speaker B: Okay, A, no, but B, did they have a conversation of expectations?
Because I once heard the analogy that, like, you don't expect family members and friends to pay you back.
So if things weren't discussed, hey, I'm lending youth money and I expect you to pay me back. There's a little bit of, like, op should have op. Should have made his expectations clear. But not the.
[00:56:44] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, tell her to use the Gucci shoes to pay for rent.
Yeah, yeah. It's a very, you know, simple thing, but, yeah, you're an. For, you know, only one thing. Just be like, you know, kind of, you know, being petty.
[00:57:16] Speaker B: Holy. These are expensive Gucci shoes.
[00:57:19] Speaker A: Yeah, they're wildly expensive.
[00:57:21] Speaker B: Holy.
[00:57:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:23] Speaker B: Who the pays that much for a pair of shoes?
[00:57:26] Speaker A: I'll check it. Check out Gucci purse.
[00:57:28] Speaker B: No, I've got my coach.
[00:57:30] Speaker A: Yeah, it's more expensive than your coach purse.
[00:57:33] Speaker B: I love my coach purse.
[00:57:35] Speaker A: Like. Like, let's see.
Gucci purse.
Yeah.
And some of them are just garbage.
Your handbags for women.
Yeah. And they're, like, not even great bags either.
You know, 3,005. Like, this bag that you. You don't get 3,500.
[00:57:59] Speaker B: Yeah. You can get a bag that looks almost identical to that at the thrift store for less than five bucks.
But I got my couch purse, and that's all I want.
[00:58:10] Speaker A: And they. They make Gucci for children.
[00:58:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:14] Speaker A: Gucci's stroller.
[00:58:16] Speaker B: Mm.
[00:58:17] Speaker A: Oh, man. It fucking.
[00:58:19] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's. It's a thing.
It's a thing.
[00:58:25] Speaker A: Yeah, they make Gucci clothes for babies.
[00:58:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:58:28] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:58:29] Speaker A: That. That's absolutely insane. So. Yeah.
[00:58:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:58:32] Speaker A: You know, Opie, you know, fucking.
If your friend doesn't pay you back, you. You spent twelve hundred dollars to, you know, have her show you what kind of friend she is.
That. That sucks.
Like, what you do, like, if your friend is actually struggling, you know, pay for the bills directly. Like, don't give them money. It's like giving homeless people money back. I'm gonna use it on food. You know, take them to a restaurant, feed them, and that way, you know, they actually spent that money on food. You know, go to their landlord, like, hey, I'm paying for, you know, this month of rent or whatever.
That way you can get a receipt and be like, hey, I fucking paid for this month of rent for you, and see what happens. Otherwise. Yeah. Yes. Sucks for you. You fucking lost out.
But on to relationship advice by structure. Owned 2288.
Kind of like in the same vein.
Boyfriend, 25, male of three years. Wants 50% of the profit on the house. I, 26, female. Own.
In 2023, my boyfriend and I planned to buy a house together, one that needed a ton of work. Since he was dealing with some legal stuff, we decided I would take out a conventional loan in my name, and the house would also be solely under my name for now. Our plan was to split the initial payment, like down payment and closing costs and future renovation costs, 50 50. He really wanted a house that needed work. He likes projects, but he really didn't want the kind of responsibility. I knew we didn't really have the time for a project, but I couldn't and I couldn't help him much. And I was planning to do a lot on the rent and he was planning to do a lot on the renovation himself.
But he assured me he knew that and he just wanted me to support him. Even if even I even told him multiple times that I'd rather use my VA loan to buy a move in ready home with zero down payment. But he insisted I should save my VA loan for later, that all I needed to do was support him. VA loans are military loans that have zero down payment.
Don't do that. Put a down payment.
Thank you for your service. The week we were supposed to close on the house, we had a huge fight. And I was sure I was done with them by that point. Everything was already set up with the lawyer. I felt stuck. I thought I had no choice but to go through with the purchase. So I signed the papers. The loan and the house were in my name as planned. But since I assumed I was doing this alone, I covered the down payment and closing costs myself. The plan was to apply for grants, fix what I could, and sell the house. But then when we got back together and he started helping with the renovations, he put about 30,000 into the house. Between money and labor. The house still wasn't livable. We weren't living there. We couldn't rent it out either. Over time we had several arguments about the house and one major issue came that he was working on a house that wasn't even in his name. He brought this up multiple times when he was in a foul mood again. I was still going, he was still going through the legal stuff. So I told him I could either pay him back the 30,000 once I sold the house, which I really wanted to do because the house was far from livable and I felt like I was wasting my money on a mortgage and taxes, or we could put his name on the deed after his legal issues were resolved, if we agreed to split the mortgage and future maintenance costs. But he refused and he didn't want to be responsible for the mortgage and any maintenance.
I even paid a lawyer to draft the agreement stating once his legal issues were resolved, he would officially own half the house as long as he agreed to cover half the mortgage and maintenance, which seemed fair. To me. But he won it signed because he didn't want to be financially responsible. Fast forward to 2025. The house is still sitting there because neither of us have the time or money to work on it.
[01:02:58] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[01:02:59] Speaker A: I've been one covering the mortgage and utilities since it's in my name.
[01:03:02] Speaker B: Jesus Christ.
[01:03:04] Speaker A: Recently there was some water damage in the house and insurance is likely going to cover it. There's a high chance I could end up with a completely renovated home due to the damage. But also recently I got Approved for over 30 to 50,000 worth the home repair grants. So by the end of 2025, I'll likely have a brand new house.
Now he wants me to sell the house after the renovations are complete and buy a new one with them. But I don't want to sell. I'd rather rent it out because it's going to be a brand new house. Even if I do sell, I don't think it's fair for him to expect 50% of the profit.
The most I agreed to paying him was the 30,000 he put in. Now he wants half of the total profits, which could be around 130,000 after the insurance and grant money goes into fixing it up. I told him I'd still honor our original agreement and pay him back the 30,000. But now he's upset and claims I used him. The truth is, I never asked him to put in work on the house. He did it on his own. Of course I appreciate what he did, which is why I want to pay him back what he put in. But I don't think it's fair for him to demand half the profit when he wasn't even willing to pay half the mortgage, which was less than $500 for him to be or be half responsible for the maintenance.
What's the fair thing to do? Does he deserve 50% of the profit?
[01:04:33] Speaker B: What the.
[01:04:36] Speaker A: So, in short, Opie and her boyfriend agreed to, you know, buy a house together. But everything was going to be in.
[01:04:47] Speaker B: Op's name and there's no legal contracts anywhere.
[01:04:53] Speaker A: She was trying to get a legal contract, but he didn't want to sign the legal contract.
[01:04:56] Speaker B: Oh my.
[01:04:57] Speaker A: That would entitle him to 50%.
[01:04:59] Speaker B: What a fucking piece of shit. Idiot.
[01:05:04] Speaker A: What? Like, pretty much like they had like a dilapidated, you know, piece of shit house, but the water damage that came through, fucking, you know, an insurance that kicked in, you know, made it awesome again.
[01:05:17] Speaker B: And now he wants a piece.
[01:05:18] Speaker A: And now he wants a piece of it.
Now he wants a hundred thousand for doing nothing.
[01:05:23] Speaker B: Jesus.
And he didn't sign the contract, so now it's his fault.
[01:05:30] Speaker A: So. Opie, I'm gonna, you know, give you my honest opinion. Don't buy a house with someone you're not married to. Yes, anybody, like. Anybody in, like, the homes business will say the same thing. Don't buy it unless you're married, you know, or you buy it and then, you know, it's all yours. And you have to take care of all the bills, and then they can pay you rent or whatever, you know.
[01:05:58] Speaker B: This is so messy.
Oh, Op really fucked herself here.
[01:06:06] Speaker A: But, yeah, I mean, get. Get that lawyer. Make sure that you're airtight. Defend yourself.
Leave the boyfriend. I don't say that very often. Leave him. He's a lunatic.
Seems like you're doing pretty good on your own. Use your VA loan to go buy another house. After everything that's said and done and hell yeah, you know, go live your best life.
[01:06:31] Speaker B: You know, Opie needs to get herself into that. This situation.
[01:06:34] Speaker A: Get your. Get yourself a man, not a boy, pretty much.
[01:06:39] Speaker C: Jeez.
Yeah. He didn't contribute anything he doesn't need. He.
[01:06:47] Speaker A: It.
[01:06:47] Speaker C: It's not his. Nope, nope.
[01:06:52] Speaker A: Everyone's saying lawyer in the comments.
[01:06:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[01:06:54] Speaker A: Give him his 30,000 and cut him out of your life.
[01:06:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Sooner he's gone, the better.
[01:07:00] Speaker A: Now this dude's out of his mind. He put 30,000 in some labor in his own terms and refused to take financial responsibility. Dodged a mortgage, wouldn't sign an agreement. Now he wants half the profit.
You know, ex boyfriend.
Give him his 30, cut him loose.
Yep. So.
[01:07:30] Speaker C: Oh, my.
[01:07:34] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, yeah, you could, you know, give them 35 back. You know, There you go. You know, you did put in some work. And I'll pay you $5,000 for your efforts, but.
Yeah, I mean, this is why horror stories exist. So I bought a house with my wife, but that. That's gonna be it for this week. We will be back next week with some more shit. Some more shit talking. I mean, how it goes.
Actually, I think next week is gonna be the fucking reunion episode of Argue this.
We'll see how that goes. I'm gonna, you know, talk to Tron and see if he's down to do it. It.
We're going to go out for lunch next Saturday and. Yeah, so we'll see you then.
Till then. Bye.
