Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome to another week. Hopefully I remember to upload.
I am your host, Alex, the Truck with the Human podcast. And we got my wife, not the truck.
Like, people are gonna start thinking that that's your name. It's like, hi, I'm not the truck.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: They want.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Whatever. And then we got Courtney from across.
[00:00:25] Speaker C: The land starting my laundry.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: You're doing laundry now?
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I hate doing laundry.
[00:00:34] Speaker C: I had to start. I need. I want you to change my sheets. And so I needed, like, I had them. I've cleaned them already, but I left them in the garage, so now they smell a little bit.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: Ew.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Animals will, like, be like, oh, big sheets. I'm gonna lay on this. And like. Like, the stinkiest to it.
[00:00:54] Speaker C: No, just lay on it and get fur all over it.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And then you have, like, washing.
[00:00:59] Speaker C: And then, like, it's been super windy, so a lot of dust has gotten in there. So anything that was in there, I need to clean again. Except for, like, one or two items that I didn't that were, like, covered.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: The worst is when you leave it in the washer too long and it kind of like, gets, like, funky smelling.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: We need to clean our washing machine.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: Yeah, we'll do it. I. I used to have, like, these little things you throw in there and run it.
I have no idea what happened to those.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: I used them all up.
[00:01:30] Speaker A: Oh, did you?
[00:01:30] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: Okay.
Yeah, yeah. You're not supposed to do it, like, every time. Just.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: No, I did it whenever it started to smell, and now I'm.
What the fuck?
[00:01:45] Speaker A: I'm gonna have to, like, learn how to, like, take it apart and shit.
I'm sure, like, there's a way.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: Have either of you seen the video where it's a time lapse of. So this girl, she's in the bedroom and the cat's on the table. And so the woman proceeds to completely change the bed, pillows, covers. Like, she makes it all nice and perfect. She leaves the room. The cat immediately gets onto the bed and vomits.
Like, he waited for her to completely reset things to make it all nice and clean. He waited.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: Cats are assholes.
[00:02:17] Speaker B: They are. They're so cute and they're bad.
But the bedding was white, so it's a little unfortunate.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, sheets, like, cheap sheets are not, you know, like. Like, that's like the best thing to get. They get, like, a bunch of cheap sheets and then, you know, every Black Friday, you know, spoil yourself with, like, Egyptian cotton. You know, like 1500 thread count sheets.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Are they really more comfortable.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
Oh yeah. Like getting the higher thread count on sheets. Just, it's a world of difference. Maybe one day I like, I'll get.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Like maybe one day. Cuz we're millennials.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: I mean, like I, I was an adult yesterday, okay? Like I, I wanted to go out and get a haircut and I like looked it up online. It was $50 to get a haircut.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: And I'm like, you know what? You know, my hair can stay and I will save that money.
And you know, I just put it in my wallet and then I took my wallet to the bar and I spent that $50 at the bar.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Well, because now it was free money.
You saved it, so now it's free money.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: I mean, like, I, I feel like I can cut my own hair.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: Um.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: What?
[00:03:42] Speaker B: I'll cut your hair if you want to cut.
[00:03:45] Speaker A: Why don't you think I can cut my own hair?
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Because it won't look nice.
[00:03:52] Speaker A: Have you ever seen me after I cut my own hair?
[00:03:54] Speaker B: No. That's on purpose, I'm sure.
I mean, I've saying $50 is kind of cheap for a haircut.
[00:04:03] Speaker A: Well, like, there's part of me that wants to like, get like a new barber here because I'm like, you, you have to, you know, spend the $50 and then on top of it all, you have to tip.
[00:04:17] Speaker B: I'm like, for like the lower class places, yes. But for like, like expensive ones, you're not expected to tip.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Really?
[00:04:27] Speaker B: Yeah. No, I never tip my hairdresser.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: Any service job at all?
[00:04:31] Speaker B: No, I tips once. He was like, oh, honey, you don't have to do that. And I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Like if you're like a constant customer and you keep on coming in, which I am, then yeah, I'm sure it's fine. But like if you're like a once every six months, you know, like tip them.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: I was told not to.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: I don't know, like, you know, I, I think about it, I'm like, okay, you know, you, you have, you know, a barber shop. You have to pay rent, you have to pay the insurances and all the dumb bullshit, all the utilities here. Yeah, it's expensive and you know, it's. You're making $50 an hour, you know, $100 an hour if you have two barbers, you know, for a regular day of work.
And I'm like, you're making garbage money. I don't know how you're staying open.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: But other people pay for more expensive services.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: I mean like, like My hair is.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: Decent amount of money.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Well, it. They. They only do, like, men's cuts. No women.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: I don't know what that means.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: Like, you.
[00:05:45] Speaker C: They're strictly a barber. They don't cut women's hair.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: Oh, okay, that's cool.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: I mean, that you can go in and get a haircut.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: No, that's cool that they've created a niche market. That's cool.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Like, it's not a niche market. It's always been there.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Okay, niche. Niche is the best adjective I had to describe what I wanted to mean. I know it was the wrong word, but it was close to what I wanted to say.
[00:06:07] Speaker A: It's not a salon. A salon and a barbershop are very different things.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I understand. Those two words is different.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: So, like, a salon will color your hair. And, you know, like, my barber shop has, like, an air chuck to, you know, get rid of hair. Like, it just blows. You know, it doesn't have a hair dryer.
Mochi. Would you like to say hello? Are you happy that you got double treats? Because the other cat is a bougie bitch.
[00:06:42] Speaker B: JT doesn't like tuna, but he likes salmon. But if you give him tuna flakes, he will not eat it, but he will eat the salmon flakes because he's bougie. And it's kind of appalling to know I have that already this early in life. He's going to be so fucking picky once he's 18. Like, oh, my God, it's going to be so difficult to find him. He wants to eat. I'm so annoyed about that.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: See, I know what my cat likes to eat.
She tells me, like, I have a communication language with my cat.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: Well, of course you do. You guys are bonded.
[00:07:19] Speaker A: It's gross.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: Like, there was this test they did where they had a bunch of different people in one room, and their cats were in the other room, and they. And they heard recordings of their cat, and they were asked to pick out their cat amongst all the others, and they were always all correct or. No, there was, like, a 98% correct. Like, they always recognized their kitty's meow as opposed to others. Like, you build your own language with your own little human.
It's so cute.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: I mean, oh, my God, I love cats.
Yeah. I mean, my cat likes to cuddle with me cats.
And this is, like, normally bedtime for me. And she's like, what the are you doing up?
[00:08:07] Speaker B: I know. Her routine is ruined. She's here to hurt you. And she will be successful.
[00:08:16] Speaker A: We'll lay down here in a bit. Okay.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: The routine.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, mochi. I know.
Such a cute little kitten.
You know what I hate is the fact that, you know, the second you think it's summer and the second you start wearing, like, warmer clothes or, like, you know, clothes for warmer weather, like, it starts snowing again in Colorado. Like, Colorado can never make up its fucking mind.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I can't even call it snow. It, like, flaked for, like, two, three hours, and that was it.
[00:09:00] Speaker A: Oh, no. I had to chain up multiple times.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Well, I'm here. I'm staying here in the springs.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: No, here in the springs, it does not snow. I go over mountains as a truck driver. Yes.
And, like, anytime, like, I. I meet somebody else that's like, a truck driver.
You know, I'm. I'm like, I'm a truck driver. And, like, oh, me too.
And I'm like, oh, who do you drive for? And they're like, oh, no. Like, I just have, like, a pickup truck.
I'm like, you're an.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: That's sad.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: You're a piece of.
I'm like, like, I've never met, like, another. Like, I see them like they're in town.
Like, I see their trucks. I feel like they just, like, sit at a hotel and be sad.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Like, they're. They're a subclass.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: Like, I'm, like, the only one that goes out.
I'm like, like, truckers need to, like. Like, if you're a trucker and you're. You hear this and you, you know, land in a town and you're like, you know, in your, you know, cab, or you check into a hotel or whatever you fucking do. Go out into the town, explore. Take a bus, see what's, you know, around. Take an Uber. Go have fun. Go eat a nice meal, you know, treat yourself. You know, go make friends. You never know.
[00:10:25] Speaker C: But, like, yeah, you've got, like, a ton of friends in your route, right?
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Oh, a fucking metric shitload. Like, I know half a Durango.
[00:10:34] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: You know, like, I'll walk down the street and, you know, fucking high five, like, half the people I walk by. And, like, I'll be with, like, other friends. Like, who were those people? I'm like, you know, other comedians, you know, some of my other friends.
And like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, like, yeah, I, I, I, I go downtown all the time. And so I, I, I'm, like, in the debaucherous crowd.
Like, I don't do drugs, but I hang out with the people that do Drugs. Like, the people that go to, like, the bathroom, like, six times in an hour, and I'll, like. Like, dude, it's very noticeable.
And they're like, what. What were you talking about? I'm like, I know you're going to the bathroom to do coke. Like, knock it off.
Like, oh, like, other people notice, too.
Like. Like. Do you ever go out into town, Courtney, or do you just stay home?
[00:11:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I need to get out more.
I need to go out. I can't really drink anyway, so it's.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: Like, yeah, that's fine. I have a lot of friends that are sober.
You know, I. I have friends that are in AA and they still come out and, you know, do comedy or do karaoke. And, you know, it's like, you don't need a drink. It's just, you know, come on out, have a good time, hang out with people.
It's like on the 22nd here in Colorado Springs, which is a Saturday, I'll be doing comedy, you know, back in the Springs. Like, my big return to comedy in Colorado Springs.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: So alcoholic versus sober, Is there just the two options, or is there, like, a medium?
[00:12:42] Speaker A: I mean, you know, if you're drinking, you know, it's drinking versus not drinking. And there's, you know, people that, you know, have recognized that they have been a problem while drunk, and they want to better themselves, so they, you know, choose not to drink. They are, you know, in the 12 steps, and they are bettering themselves, and they, you know, have enough willpower to be in that environment and not drink, you know, but they still want to hang out.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: So it's a label.
[00:13:19] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, it pretty much, like, I'll be out and like, hey, you want some weed? Like, everyone knows that I don't smoke weed. You know, it's a thing. And it's like, they'll still, like, try and hand me a pipe. I'm like, nah, I'm good. You know, I can't.
And, you know, that that's fine. Like, if I'm like, hey, you want a shot? And like, oh, I don't drink. You know, and, like, once you get to know who doesn't drink, you just, you know, go through and just like, oh, don't ask him. You know, he doesn't want a shot. And you're like, hey, you want a soda or something? You want water?
You know, get you something.
I mean, but, yeah, Courtney, you can easily go like, do you like trivia?
Do you like karaoke?
[00:14:08] Speaker C: You know, I always freeze up when I do karaoke.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Why? You just go up and read words, you know, on the screen, but they don't sound good. Oh, yeah, No, I.
[00:14:22] Speaker C: It doesn't sound as good when I, like.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: At home. I know, like, at home, if I'm by myself, like, I sound so much.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Better because you have the words.
[00:14:33] Speaker C: All of a sudden, I tell them, I become tone deaf.
[00:14:36] Speaker A: And like, oh, yeah. No, like the last Wednesday I was out. And if you do roulette, which, you know, the KJ gets to pick a song for you, you get a free shot. You know, he threw a bad romance by Lady Gaga, and I'm like, oh, I don't remember this song for.
And I just had to, like, you know, make it my own. I'm just like, all right, let's.
Let's go for it. And I like, I don't care. Like, I know I sound bad.
Yeah. Like, there's certain people that sing the same songs over and over again, and they nail them. I'm like, okay, cool.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Well, in the music world, all we ever fucking see are people who can sing, like, on pitch. And so, like, it's so, like, singing bad in public is, like, this fucking taboo.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Well, I hate to bring this up, but those people all use auto tune and fucking software to make them sound better.
[00:15:35] Speaker B: Okay, I know, but that's all that's presented to the audience.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: Yeah. So they present, you know, something that is, you know, good.
[00:15:42] Speaker B: You know, but it doesn't mean. If you can't sing on key, that should be bad.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah, no, like, I.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: That's how it is.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: I go up and sing, you know, upsetting songs just to upset people.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: I know, because you've moved past that block.
[00:15:54] Speaker A: Yeah. It's hilarious to me to, like, make the bar mad at me.
But they, like, no, I'm just joking. It's like, what the fuck was that?
And I'll get up and be like, women are stupid and I don't respect them. That's right. I just have sex with them.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: I forgot about that.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
I've done that multiple times at the bar.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: I like the gun one more.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: Guns don't kill people.
I kill people with guns.
Yeah, I've done that, too.
And it's like, you. You name it. It's like, I. I don't care. You know, throw me a song. I'll sing it poorly and like it. It. There is a block there. There is like a. Oh, what are, you know, other people gonna think about me?
You know, And I feel like doing comedy has, like, you know, pushed me through that where I'm like, I don't care, you know, I. Like, I. I don't give a. If you're. You know, sit here and judge me and be like, that was awful singing, Like, I'll be the first one to say it. Like, this is gonna be awful. Get ready.
And then there's some songs that I can do, you know, half decently, and, you know, I'll go up and do those.
[00:17:21] Speaker B: But what is the definition of decent?
[00:17:24] Speaker A: Decent to me, where I'm like, I'm happy with, you know, the song that I have sang, and I'm like, yeah.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: I always thought decent was, like, kind of like a more lackluster. Okay.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Like, I thought decent meant, like, the bot. The bottom low.
[00:17:41] Speaker A: I wouldn't charge people to hear me sing that song, but, you know, I. I know I'm not, like, you know, breaking their ears when they hear me sing that song, but.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: Why don't you feel like you're singing at your best?
[00:17:56] Speaker A: No, I'm not singing to the level of, like, the original artist, you know, that that's, like. That's where a lot of people will fucking, like, you know, put themselves. Like, how, you know, good am I against, like, the original?
You know, how close am I to that? It's like, yeah, those people have been doing it for years.
You know, if you can get halfway there, it's like, yeah, that's good enough.
It's like, you know, you can go out and do, like. Like, are you good at trivia, Courtney?
[00:18:27] Speaker C: I don't know.
Maybe I have done one trivia night before. It has been fun, but that was, like, a long time ago.
[00:18:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I wonder if there's.
[00:18:39] Speaker C: Even trivia in this little town.
[00:18:41] Speaker A: You'd be surprised. There's, you know, usually a lot going on.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: What the fuck is trivia?
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Trivia is they ask you questions about, like, pop culture references and stuff like that.
You know, they'll be like, okay, who is, you know, Luke Skywalker's father?
You know, and people like, you know, Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, you know, like that.
And, you know, you get points, you know, for your team based on, you know, correct answers for the trivia, depending on how they run it. If they, you know, run it as, like, a buzzer type game. You know, first to get the buzzer gets to answer the question.
And each table gets a buzzer, or, you know, each table gets to, you know, do it. A group test, and whoever does the best, you know, wins. H I, I. I've seen it Both ways, you know, both kind of have, you know, and like at, you know, but at the end of the question, they like, you know, fake. This is who it is.
Okay. You know, so I mean, yeah, like there, there's, you know, always like fun stuff. Like Facebook is like a good, you know, way to go find like that. Like, let's see. I'm sure I can find some cool ass events, you know, in your area. You just go to, you know, Facebook events, you know.
Yeah. You have a historic theater.
[00:20:30] Speaker C: Let's see.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: Yeah, most of the stuff that's happening at the historic theater out there.
[00:20:41] Speaker C: Historic theater.
[00:20:45] Speaker A: Let me see.
[00:20:46] Speaker C: Is that what it's called?
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's your city. Historic theater. Let me.
Let's see. Like, let's look at trivia. Trivia, you know, in your town and not. Nope. Damn it.
Location.
Let's look at your location.
Damn it. I hate when, like, you're typing on your phone and like, you meant to, you know, hit one thing and it's like, yeah, we have hella tr. Yeah, we have like Disney trivia. Drag trivia.
There's trivia happening right now. Pub trivia.
And also you can like, you know, call around, be like, hey, do you have any events going on? You know, call to your local bar.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: You know, see if there's any, like, concerts playing. See if there's any, you know, you know, bands playing. And you get to just meet people, you know, instead of just like staying inside your house and just like, you know, this is part, you know, it's like, I know mochi, you know, kind of breaking out is like, you know, fun to do sometimes.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:22:29] Speaker A: Oh, like, I have, you know, comedy show, like, Louis CK is coming to town and I've paid a ridiculous buco dollars for that garbage. Well, not garbage. I'm. I'm very happy to go see him before he, like, goes to Europe and comes back with like a bird flu and dies.
Oh, that's gonna be awful if that happens.
What?
[00:23:04] Speaker B: What? I'm looking at chew toys. God.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: I thought my, like, like, I look back and my wife's like, on her phone.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: I know. I got distracted and I'm looking at chew toys. I'm sorry.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: I'm like, you know, expecting her to be like, I'm looking at trivia events.
Like, I wonder if there's like a cat trivia event.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: I'm not going out to play trivia with strangers.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: You want to play trivia with me?
[00:23:28] Speaker B: I would love to play with you, but nobody else. I don't like new People.
I mean, I'm not one for group activities. I'm very sorry.
[00:23:41] Speaker A: I'm not like, I hate, like, random fucking groups, but, like, I'm always, like, willing to, like, meet new people.
Like, you know, last Friday, not this last Friday, but the Friday before that, I was down at the bar, you know, and my friend was there, and he was the only one at the bar I knew.
And, you know, he left. And I'm like, I'm not leaving immediately just because he's gone. I'm gonna still sit here and play some pool. And I just. I met some other people there, and then some more people came in that I did know. I'm like, oh, cool. But I'm like, I'm willing to, like, meet new people. I don't know why other people are so afraid of it.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: I don't want to invest the energy. It'll be very tiring.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it most definitely is very tiring to, you know, invest energy into meeting new people and remembering their names.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Well, and I have really. I don't have a lot of bandwidth left in my brain, so.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: But, you know, like, you don't have to, like, after you've met them, like, 10 times, like, oh, okay. Yeah. I'm like, I kind of know you, and then just get to, like, know the people in your area, and they're like, hey, we're doing this, or, we're going for a hike, or we're going fishing and.
[00:25:08] Speaker B: Any good at fishing?
[00:25:09] Speaker C: Me, I want to go hiking.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: I like hiking.
[00:25:12] Speaker C: I've been wanting to go hiking.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:17] Speaker C: But, like, sometimes I want to take dad once in a while, but there's not a lot of good hiking here where it's built here accessible, you know.
[00:25:27] Speaker A: Like that area that we went with, your dad didn't really like it because.
[00:25:32] Speaker C: It was, like, all hot.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Well, you go on, like, a cooler day, you know, get an umbrella for them and, you know, just bring everyone.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: You have to pay to be on the trail.
[00:25:46] Speaker A: Oh, do you?
[00:25:47] Speaker C: Yeah, that's why I don't like it.
Plus, he get. He gets stuck in the rocks anyway there.
[00:25:55] Speaker A: I thought I got a new chair that, like, helps prevent that.
[00:25:59] Speaker C: No, he just got a chair that's adjustable. A newer chair.
[00:26:03] Speaker A: I mean, like, you don't.
[00:26:04] Speaker C: He gets one every. He tries to get one every five years if he can, because really, they, like, he's really rough on his wheelchairs.
[00:26:15] Speaker A: What he should do is he should, like, write to Elon and be like, hey, Elon, can I get, like, a Tesla chair?
[00:26:22] Speaker C: Oh, my God, no way.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: Dude, how awesome.
[00:26:25] Speaker C: It'd be so more annoying to repair.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: No, like, you know, I feel like Elon would just, like, send him something awesome. Big. Oh, for fellow Trump supporters.
[00:26:36] Speaker C: They're so funny.
[00:26:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Boom. And he just, like, sends him, like, a hundred thousand dollar chair. It's like. Yeah.
Just goes through and, like, he has, like, a button that, like, plays like, you know, the American national anthem has American flags coming out the back.
Portrait of Donald Trump on the back of the chair.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: No flag.
[00:27:07] Speaker A: Two flags.
Like, like the, you know, rednecks that have, like, flags that. Coming off the, you know, back of their trucks just waving.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
They're living their best life. I don't mean to be judgmental.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: I. I enjoy it.
You know, you're being patriotic. You know, welcome to America. You know, you're. You're being. It doesn't hurt anybody else. It's not annoying. It's not loud. It's just two flags, and it's like, yeah, that's cool.
[00:27:39] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. There's nothing wrong with it. I. I'm just gonna continue thinking. It looks dorky as I. I feel.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: Like people that have, you know, Crocs, like, out in, like, the wild look, you know, kind of dorky, or people that wear shorts, like, when the temperature is below, like, 32.
Like, they'll wear, like, shorts and flip flops, and It'll be like 32 degrees out and, like, slightly raining. I'm like, what the are you doing, you guys?
What?
[00:28:09] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. What the are they doing?
[00:28:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, like, deep. Do you not own pants?
It's like, oh, I do. I just, you know, I get too hot. I'm like, it's literally snowing right now. Dude, knock it off.
[00:28:26] Speaker B: I know, but they're like, they're creating heat with their legs. Like, they're moving and shit.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: No, they'll be like, I'm cold.
It's like when, like, women go out and, like, wear, like, a skimpy dress, like, to, like, the club, and it's, like, a cold night, and they're, like, waiting to get inside. Like, I'm cold. It's like, yeah, you should have worn a jacket.
Then I'd have to carry it with me. And that. That's uncouth.
I mean, like, I. I saw a video today that, you know, gives me no hope for the future.
And you had hope before.
A tiny bit of hope.
[00:29:10] Speaker B: Tiny bit of hope. All right.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: A tiny bit of hope. And it was, you know, how much brain rot do you have?
And it was Just asking random questions. I knew none of them. Not a single one. I thought I knew. You know some of the fucking kids lingo these days, and they're just asking.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Like, there's like, quizzes.
[00:29:33] Speaker A: Yeah. And like, this kid nailed every single one of them. And his dad is there, you know, doing the quiz with him. His dad fucking fails everything, just like me. And he's like, oh, no, what the fuck have I raised?
[00:29:50] Speaker B: There's no shame in not knowing what a new word means.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: Oh, no, it.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: Like, like, I'm not saying it's a smart word, but it's new.
[00:29:59] Speaker C: What's the word?
[00:30:01] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, it wasn't like a new. It was like, what does the red lava say?
And I'm like, what do you mean?
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Oh, do you know a narwhal's bacon?
[00:30:16] Speaker C: No, no, I don't know either of those.
[00:30:20] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I didn't know. I still don't know what any of this shit is. Like, I just learned what skibidi toilet was and I'm still not sure what it is.
It's like a dude in a toilet and it makes me angry.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: And I'm like, why does it make you angry?
[00:30:38] Speaker A: I don't know.
[00:30:39] Speaker B: Like, I think it's endearing.
Like, they're little ones.
[00:30:45] Speaker A: We were that.
[00:30:46] Speaker B: We were that age.
[00:30:48] Speaker A: It is dumb.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: We were that age.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: It is truly the dumbest fucking thing.
[00:30:54] Speaker B: I'm not saying we were smart at that age either.
[00:30:58] Speaker A: I mean, I. I am never smart, but, like, just this. Like, I refuse to go and watch any videos of skibidi toilet. Like, you know, I just had, you know, someone explain it to me.
And apparently there are toys of this now, like at Target.
And I'm like, why?
Like, don't encourage this bad behavior.
Like, if my kid came up to me, it's like skibidi toy. I'd smack him.
Which is bad on my part. I understand that. Like, that's. That's not, you know, the correct response.
But I'm like, no, we don't do any of that. Dumb.
Like, we had like the.
The hamster dance and like fucking peanut butter jelly time.
[00:31:54] Speaker B: Do you not drink that? No.
[00:31:56] Speaker A: You know, back in our day, like, do you remember like, peanut butter jelly time? Like the fucking dancing banana?
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:32:01] Speaker A: Yeah, like that. That. That's the dumb brain rot bullshit we had. Yeah, we had nyan cat and I love nyan cat.
Just stuff to waste our time and this nyankat so much and melt our brains.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: You pull it up.
[00:32:18] Speaker A: No, no, I'm not. I refuse But Stunkat, I don't care.
You can pull it up yourself.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: I know I can.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Just.
And I'm like, I'm growing up. And I'm like, I need to stop doing this.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: Well, no, we have. We've made up our own words. Like, we have, like, yeet and skirt. And like, we have our own. We have our own little skirt.
[00:32:48] Speaker A: Is something that women wear. I mean, no, like, Like, I kind of know what yeet is. Like throwing something.
[00:32:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
Like, for one of our machinery, one of our machines have to reload the sample. You have to hit the button. Otherwise the sample, it won't run automatically, whereas the rest of them will. And so on the button, someone gave me access to a label printer and I wrote yeet on it. Then I named all our machines, and then that was taken away from me.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: For good reason.
[00:33:22] Speaker B: It was for good reasons. But on my blood machine, you hit the yeet button.
I'm hilarious.
[00:33:33] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: I feel like I'm just turning into, like, a stick in the mud old man.
And I'm like, you're a little early.
[00:33:41] Speaker B: For this phase, but it's okay.
[00:33:44] Speaker A: I. I mean, I. I started, you know, watching World War II documentaries too early, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna start, like, caring about the color of my grass next. It's gonna be bad.
And I'm not excited about it because right after that, I'm gonna complain about my back hurting all the time.
[00:34:02] Speaker B: You already do that.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: And I'm gonna, like, groan every time I get out of a chair.
[00:34:07] Speaker B: You have started doing that. Just so you know.
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Then it's over for me. I.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: It is over for you.
[00:34:17] Speaker A: Like, I. I push the button for the countdown timer to my death. It. I got 10 more years. I mean, I. I guess I'll live in the best I can.
And. And then on, you just like it. You explode. I guess like, that. That's a problem with. With men is like, we get comfortable and then we're just like, okay, you know, the decline and a recliner.
[00:34:43] Speaker B: Yeah, the decline in the recon, in the recline.
[00:34:48] Speaker A: And it's fine. I'll.
[00:34:52] Speaker B: But you really do need your lazy Boy.
[00:34:56] Speaker A: I mean, eventually, one day.
Eventually, one day. Like, you know, like, Like, I already know what I want. I. I want a, you know, chair that rocks, reclines and swivels.
Like, that's all it needs to do. Rock, recline and swivel. Have a, you know, an armrest that opens up and has, like, a little beverage holder.
[00:35:20] Speaker B: And like, design your own, like, custom.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: Made Thing, I. I mean, like, that's where I'm heading to, is just making my own fucking thing over, engineering it.
And then just like, there we go. Now I have what I want. Like. Like that. That's how any fucking cool thing has ever been made is somebody, you know comes through and is like, well, this doesn't exist. I'm going to make it.
And they do. They make it, and they're like, there, it's made, it's done.
And either they fucking commercialize it and make it for a bunch of other people that want it, or they just have it themselves.
Like my friend Jeff, you know, he has a truck that has, like, his own, like, camper on the back that he made himself.
And it's like, anytime I see, you know, Jeff's truck, I'm like, that's Jeff's truck because of his crazy camper on the back. Back.
Custom built.
And I'm like, it's the way.
[00:36:30] Speaker B: Like you said, it's the way to do it.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: Like, I. I want a. I want a garage in the backyard. I have to go build it.
You know, I can pay for it, and it's going to cost me a lot more money, but it'll be done for you.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: You're paying for not having to. You are paying so you do not have to do it. That's the whole point.
But you're paying for convenience.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: But I still have to work. I have to work a job to get that money. So how, you know, much of my job am I willing to work to, you know, not have to do that?
[00:37:02] Speaker B: That's up to you. Only you can make that decision.
[00:37:04] Speaker A: And, like, there is a huge part of me that's like, you know, I could just go, you know, get a bunch of pallets, you know, break them all fucking down. Just boom, boom, boom. And then build the entire garage out of, like, you know, reclaimed wood.
What?
[00:37:22] Speaker B: Oh, no. I'm just rubbing my eyes. Oh, my God. I touched my eyes and I forgot I have my cream on my hands. And now my eyes are burning.
Mistakes were made.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: All right, let's get into, you know, a couple of these stories.
And we only have a few stories, some news. And then we got. Am I. And then we got some advice.
When we're not therapists or, you know, any of that, we're not certified. Don't take our advice hard.
First story, South Carolina, man executed by firing squad is the first US prisoner killed this way in 15 years.
I. I love this. Like, this is how it all should be done.
Like, they should just, you know.
[00:38:26] Speaker B: I can't believe this hasn't happened in the last 15 years. What?
[00:38:30] Speaker A: There's usually lethal injections, okay.
[00:38:33] Speaker B: Oh, that's why this is important. Okay, continue.
[00:38:35] Speaker A: Oh, Jesus Christ. A South Carolina man who killed his ex girlfriend's parents with a baseball bat was executed by firing squad Friday. The first prisoner in 15 years to die by that method which he saw preferable to the electric chair or lethal injection.
[00:38:50] Speaker B: Oh, you can just ask for that. Fucking hilarious.
[00:38:56] Speaker A: Three volunteer prison employees use rifles to carry execution of Brad Sigman, 67 years old, who is pronounced dead at 6:08pm.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: So they let prisoners shoot other prison. Another prisoner.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: No, it's a prison employees.
[00:39:13] Speaker B: Is that like the guards?
[00:39:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:15] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:39:21] Speaker A: But Sigman killed David and Glattus Lark.
Yeah.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: Don't ask me.
[00:39:31] Speaker A: I mean, it is. It is. Gladys. Yeah. I'm like, that is an old fashioned name. But he's like 67 years old. Did he do it as like a kid and.
Oh, in 2001. Yeah. Okay. And a botched plot to kidnap their daughter. How old was their daughter?
Sigmund's lawyers said he chose a firing squad because the electric chair would cook him alive. And he feared that a lethal injection of that word in his veins would send.
[00:40:06] Speaker B: Pentobarbital. Pentobarbital. Oh, my God.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: And his veins would send a rush of fluid and blood into his lungs and drown him.
[00:40:14] Speaker B: It would not.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Yeah, you just fall asleep, bud.
[00:40:19] Speaker B: It's nice. It's peaceful. It's painless.
[00:40:21] Speaker A: The details of South Carolina's lethal injection method are kept secret. In South Carolina, Sigmund unsuccessfully asked the state on supreme court to pause its execution. Because of that, on Friday, Sigmund wore a black jumpsuit with a hood over his head and a white target with a red bullseye over his chest.
[00:40:45] Speaker B: What? Oh, that's lame.
[00:40:48] Speaker A: Three armed prison employees stood 15ft from where he sat in the death chamber.
[00:40:56] Speaker B: Oh, he was sitting down for it.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Yeah, probably.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: That's even more lame. And I don't care how that sounds.
[00:41:04] Speaker A: I guarantee you that some of these fucking dudes missed.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: Well, of course.
[00:41:10] Speaker A: The volunteers all fired at the same time through the openings in the wall.
And we're not visible to about a dozen witnesses in a room from the chamber by bullet resistant glass.
Oh, that's fucking cool. So you just like, you know, fucking put a rifle through like a hole in the wall. Like a glory hole. Like fucking fire.
[00:41:35] Speaker B: This is so fucking pussy. Like, I thought he was just like going to stand up against the wall and be Able to look at the people shooting him, like, this is just fucking lame.
[00:41:44] Speaker A: I. I feel like the daughter should just come up with like, Beretta, just put it to the side of his head and blow his brains out. Just like, you know, bam, bam, bam, bam.
[00:41:52] Speaker B: And it's like, I know how long it took him to die.
[00:41:54] Speaker A: Two minutes.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: Yes. See that? That's so long and painful.
Like, that sucks.
[00:42:03] Speaker A: Sigmund made several heavy breaths during the two minutes that elapsed from where the hood was placed.
And.
Cause the witnesses, you know, the shots fired at the same time cause the witnesses to flinch.
Yeah, I mean, like, honestly, if, like, this is like something you can do, then do it.
Yeah, like, what they should do is, you know, record it and then just be like, hey, for $50, like, make it like an only fans of like, death.
[00:42:41] Speaker B: Like, that's hilarious. Like, if I'm on death row, I get to ask how I want to die.
[00:42:45] Speaker A: I feel like you only get, like, the three choices.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: Oh, well, I would go with a pent up Arbitol.
[00:42:50] Speaker A: Like, if I got to like, choose a bag. Kill me with a polar bear and it's like, take me in a helicopter and just like, take me to like, where the polar bears are and just like, drop me above one. Just like, catches me like a dog.
[00:43:06] Speaker B: Like the gladiators.
[00:43:08] Speaker A: Well, kind of like the gladiator, but like, they dropped me in like the North Pole or wherever the fucking polar bears are. Because I feel like they're in the North Pole or the South Pole.
[00:43:18] Speaker B: I'm not gonna respond to either of those.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: I don't know where the fucking polar bears are. Why would I? I stay away from the deadly creatures.
But like, there's like, you know, like, dangle me from like a helicopter and it's like, you know, like lower me to like a polar bear where it's like, angry that we're disturbing it. And he's like, then you, like, drop me and then like catches me like a dog with a Frisbee in its teeth.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: No, if he rips you to shreds, you're gonna have to live through that until you die.
[00:43:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I know that.
[00:43:49] Speaker B: And what if he doesn't even kill you, although he just leaves you half dead? What then?
[00:43:53] Speaker A: You're gonna die. You're gonna die from exposure or something.
[00:43:56] Speaker B: Yeah, it'll be long and painful.
[00:43:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, if I'm getting executed, I'm gonna make it fucking awesome.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: I can't argue against that though.
[00:44:06] Speaker A: You know, I'm just like, live stream that shit. And then, like, use that money to fund the prisons. I guarantee you, like, you know, no one will ever be able to, you know, complain about prisons ever again. It's like, yeah, taxpayers haven't paid for prisons in forever. And now the wardens are like, billionaires.
Like, there was a whole movie based on this whole concept called Death Race where prisoners, you know, have to, like, do like, some like, twisted metal bullshit where they, like, fight. Like they do a race in a car and shoot at each other and try and kill each other, you know, and finish a race. And if you finish 10 of these races, you get set free.
But the whole thing is like, they make sure that you die before you finish all 10 races, so no one ever gets free. But it's a little bit of hope. And then they televised it, you know, like a privatized prison. I feel like that'd be great. And then just start, you know, you know, doing gladiator holes for fucking prisoners. That'd be great. I love it.
I mean, out here in Colorado. Yeah, we don't even have the death penalty, but I love South Dakota for. Or South Carolina for that.
Next story. An HR manager creates 22 fake employees with perfect attendance to steal $2.2 million in paychecks.
[00:45:39] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:45:40] Speaker A: Proud of this lady. I mean, it. It's, you know, a great thing.
The. The people's pure procure rate in me hang district.
So it seems like China. Yep.
White paper. And the prosecutions of duty related crimes revealed how the fraudster identified as Yang exploited loopholes in the company's hiring process to pocket 16 million won, $2.2 million in US Yang joined the Human Develop Human Resources Department and Shanghai Technology Company in 2014, where he developed a. Discovered a glaring vulnerability.
Looks like one of those words I can't like, say that.
[00:46:31] Speaker B: Vulnerability.
[00:46:32] Speaker A: Yeah, but I say vulnerability.
[00:46:34] Speaker B: I have to think about it and I have to say it before I overthink it.
[00:46:41] Speaker A: And hiring and payroll approvals were entirely under his control.
During the next eight years, he fabricated 22 fake employees with generic names like Xiao Sung, Xiao Li, and set up bank accounts to funnel their monthly salaries directly to himself. For years, his scheme went unnoticed until late 2022, when the Finance Department flagged a peculiar detail about one employee, Chaosung Depart. Despite being listed as having perfect attendance for six months, no one in the company had ever seen or heard of them. A deeper investigation led straight to Yang, who admitted in orchestrating the entire operation. This is kind of fucking genius, but I guarantee you he fucking, like, disappeared, like, right after.
[00:47:29] Speaker B: Oh, of course he's got to grab that money and run.
[00:47:34] Speaker A: He was sentenced to 10 years and two months in prison and deprived of political rights for one year and slapped with a fine for an embezzlement. And he had a return about $315,000 out of the 2.2 million.
[00:47:52] Speaker C: Well, well, they probably calculated what he could re, like, what he could actually pay back.
[00:48:01] Speaker A: I mean, it's a great, you know, scam.
I, I, I, I don't hate it. I mean, you know, bad, bad boy. Bad boy. Don't do that. Don't, don't commit, you know, crimes. But, you know, if a company can lose like $2.2 million and it's like, yeah, whatever, you know, then I, I'm not crying over it.
Let's get into some Am I the asshole and some of these are great by hepal 11:18am I the asshole if I divorce my husband for not wiping his butt?
Yep, this is pretty much the title. My husband recently started saying that he's not going to wipe his butt anymore. After using the restroom. He got into his head that alpha males do not wipe. Therefore he is no longer doing it. He has been for the last two days been walking around everywhere telling guys, alphas don't wipe. He is very serious about not wiping and he is not listening to reasoning. I don't know what to do. And I fear that this might be the end, end of the start of the end of our marriage. How do I convince him to wipe?
[00:49:22] Speaker B: Is this for real?
[00:49:25] Speaker A: I, I could see a guy doing.
[00:49:28] Speaker B: Some dumb, like, men are stupid. Yes. But this feels like, what is it called? Clickbait.
[00:49:34] Speaker A: This doesn't, I mean that you don't get paid for making clickbait.
[00:49:38] Speaker B: Well, I'm just saying I don't think this is real.
[00:49:41] Speaker A: I, I feel like it is.
Like, I, I feel like there's men that are just that stupid to pick Alphas don't wipe.
I'm a man. I don't wipe.
You know, and what you do, you know, miss, if you are real as my wife, you know, so states don't wipe either. You know, you're an alpha too. We're all alphas. We'll be stinky together. And, you know, tell them that, you know, alphas lick ass and then, you know, put your ass in the air fucking smeared and just, oh my God.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: For a second that made me think of Human Centipede.
[00:50:23] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's worse.
And then he's like, you know what? Alphas do wipe. Alphas are clean. People and just, you know, make him change his mind.
Like, don't take a shower for a week. See what happens.
[00:50:40] Speaker C: I don't think I could stay with someone who, like, seriously thought that.
[00:50:44] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, like that. That's why, you know, she's thinking about divorce.
[00:50:49] Speaker C: Yeah, she should. She shouldn't have done it already.
[00:50:52] Speaker A: Well, it's been two days, so I, like, you know, if he's, like, gonna spend three days, like, not wiping his butt, you know, whatever.
[00:51:04] Speaker C: Well, I mean, it's. Is. Hasn't it been longer?
[00:51:09] Speaker A: No, he, you know, he has been, for the last two days, been walking around everywhere and telling guys, alphas, don't wipe.
So.
But yeah.
[00:51:24] Speaker B: So has he actually not been wiping, or is he just saying it?
[00:51:27] Speaker A: He's not been wiping.
[00:51:30] Speaker B: Where does she say that explicitly?
[00:51:38] Speaker A: He has been, you know, walking around telling guys, alphas, don't wipe. He's been very serious about not wiping and not listening to reason, you know?
[00:51:51] Speaker B: Okay, all right. That. That does make it clear. All right, so he is not.
[00:51:55] Speaker A: So. Yeah, I mean, okay, again, this isn't real.
The Internet's not real. Nothing on the Internet is real. Are you kidding me? Yeah, Like, I. I'm sure 99% of these stories are not real, and it's fine, but it is entertainment, and that's what I get out of it, is the entertainment that you can suspend disbelief.
You know, Legolas isn't real.
[00:52:22] Speaker B: Do AI are AIs writing Reddit posts yet?
[00:52:27] Speaker A: AI has, like, a YouTube channel.
[00:52:30] Speaker B: Yeah, but is it making Reddit posts?
[00:52:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure my favorite comment is the top one. Well, that's enough Internet for the day.
But. Oh, honey, you won't be divorcing over wiping. You need to divorce him for his utter stupidity.
[00:52:54] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:52:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, match crazy with crazy. Just, you know, like, just stop wiping yourself. Is. It's. I mean, if you have a job, you know, wipe there, but, like, you'll get home and just be, you know, a nasty.
And then he's like, oh, no. You know, make him see the error of his ways, maliciously comply, and then he's like, okay, yeah, this is a bad idea. And then make fun of him for the next 10 years. Remember when you're, like, an alpha and they didn't wipe, but, yeah, you're not the. For that.
Don't divorce your husband. Get him some therapy.
[00:53:43] Speaker B: Also get him evaluated for early onset Alzheimer's or dementia.
[00:53:47] Speaker A: Oh, no, he's just an idiot.
Relationship Advice by Orangerose AR I 35, female, got diagnosed with an incurable disease. And I want to leave my wife, 34, female, so she won't have to deal with it.
In a couple years, I'll start getting strokes. They'll keep happening and drop me into dementia. After that, I basically become a vegetable. The doctor told me I'm likely not going to make it past 60, and I absolutely 100% do not want to put my wife through that. We got married three years ago. We have been together for eight. I understand that there's an in sickness and in health, but I feel like forcing her to go through this is cruel cruelty.
That's not fair to her. She didn't deserve that.
My brother got really mad at me and told me to reverse the roles in my head. If she were sick, would I want to leave her? No, I wouldn't. But I don't want to rob her of a life either. I don't want to wait until things go downhill. Let's just wait until the.
The end and the calm before the storm. What are your thoughts? I want to hear from people who aren't family. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting her to have a rich, fulfilling life instead of spending 20 years watching me die.
And then there's, you know, some edits.
But yeah, I mean, like, what do y'all think?
[00:55:24] Speaker B: Okay, so if I was in this situation, for me, I would set a barrier of what I consider quality of life. And when I reach that barrier and about to cross it, I would like to take myself out, go out on a good note before things get super bad. And that way I don't have to leave you and you don't have to take care of me as I turn into a vegetable.
[00:55:48] Speaker A: I would. Lorenzo's Oil that bitch.
[00:55:51] Speaker B: Like, quality of life is so important to me. Like, seriously, quality of life is super important to me.
Like, I'm. I'm only going to let. Okay, seriously, I'm only going to let myself suffer for so much for so much longer.
[00:56:05] Speaker A: Have you ever seen Lorenzo's Oil?
[00:56:07] Speaker B: Clearly I have not.
[00:56:10] Speaker A: It pretty much like, you know, it's these parents that, you know, have a kid and he has, like, some strange fucking disease and like, he, like, has like a bunch of strokes and he's like, fucking gonna die. And he's getting worse and worse and worse.
And the parents are like scientists and so, like, they, you know, double down into finding a cure for their son.
And at the very end, they do and they find a cure. And it was like oil, like vegetable oil or some like that.
I'm sure there's more to it. There's been. It's been years since I've seen the.
[00:56:49] Speaker B: Movie, but point is, quality of life, and then you don't have to live anymore. Set a barrier for yourself.
[00:56:57] Speaker A: Like, what do you think, Courtney?
[00:57:02] Speaker C: I don't know.
I don't know.
It have to happen to me, unfortunately. And if it's someone else's decision, I can't really.
[00:57:14] Speaker A: You know, your dad's a paraplegic and you take care of him, you know?
[00:57:21] Speaker C: Yeah, well, there's certain things, like, we've talked about that before, like DNR and stuff like that. I don't think he has. He doesn't have one on file.
But there are certain things that I don't think he would like anymore.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Yeah, quality of life.
[00:57:43] Speaker A: Yeah, but, I mean, you know, her dad has, you know, pretty decent quality of life still.
[00:57:52] Speaker B: Yeah, but again, that's your definition.
[00:57:56] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, if I, like.
[00:57:59] Speaker B: I can't decide another human being's quality of life, but I can judge and decide a cat's quality of life. So it's different for me because kind of I kind of see, like, in that kind of situation, I kind of see humans. It's the same way. It's like, oh, well, this kitty, she has brain cancer, and she doesn't have control of her bowels anymore, and she really doesn't recognize her owners anymore. And it's like, okay, cool. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. She doesn't have to live like this. You guys don't have to take care of her like this anymore. Like, some. You do become. At the end, you do really become your animals, caretakers. And for a lot of clients, it's really funny to watch because they'll have forever, and Kitty's old, and they finally put the kitty down and like, they've had cat for, like, 16, 17 years, and they go and get a kitten, and they're like, they've completely forgotten what it's like to have a kitten. They're like, it's so active. It gets into trouble. Oh, my goodness. Like, it's. They're just, like, not prepared for this giant burst of energy. They're so confused. And it's okay to feel relief that you no longer have to take care of your old pet. It's okay to feel relief during the process.
[00:59:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, Mochi takes naps all day, you know, and she's still a kitten. She. She's got another 20, 30 years.
[00:59:21] Speaker B: She's a little perma kitten. She's not even eight pounds.
[00:59:28] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, if I was, you.
[00:59:31] Speaker B: Know, like, little sassy girls like her, like, they live the longest out of all their cats. Like, she's the longest living cat type.
[00:59:37] Speaker A: But. But for me, if I was in this situation, I'd make you take care of me.
[00:59:41] Speaker B: Mmm. I would only get too far before I would call it quits. I'm not gonna lie.
Like, I would. I would hire a caretaker to help me.
[00:59:53] Speaker A: I mean, like, if I become a.
[00:59:54] Speaker B: Vegetable and, like, do you want to keep living or do you want me to take you out if you become a vegetable?
[00:59:59] Speaker A: Like, if I was like, a vegetable with, like, no chance of, like, recovery, it's like, not just like, locked in syndrome or something like that. Something that I can probably recover from, you know?
Yeah. Like, karate chop my throat every day until I die.
[01:00:17] Speaker B: Like, I would give you three months.
[01:00:19] Speaker A: Before I pulled the plug and I just continue living. Just. Yeah, yeah, like that. That's, you know, as a man, it's like, I'm very hard to kill.
And the universe has tried and failed.
[01:00:43] Speaker B: It's more like you've succeeded but continue.
[01:00:46] Speaker A: Strong people are harder to kill.
[01:00:49] Speaker B: I'm a fragile, hot house flower. On purpose.
[01:00:53] Speaker A: You're like a horse. Like, you know.
[01:01:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. One of our relief doctors, she's. She. She's a vet for giraffes. And so you know how, like, if a horse breaks his leg, you're like, oh, fuck. And you put the horse down. They can do, like, full leg fucking surgery on giraffes and they're just fucking fine.
[01:01:16] Speaker A: See, like.
[01:01:18] Speaker B: And giraffe anesthesia is fucking tricky.
[01:01:23] Speaker A: Like, I don't know how giraffes have survived this long because, you know, like, like, they're tall as fuck and so when they give birth, like, they don't squat down.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Well, no, the thing drops.
[01:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah, it, like, falls like, 20ft and it's like, I'm fine.
[01:01:42] Speaker B: Well, yeah, it's evolved to be able to withstand that impact.
[01:01:46] Speaker A: You know, like, it has, like, a big ass neck and just, you know, can, like, hit a rock. It's like, whatever. I'm good.
[01:01:53] Speaker B: Well, yeah, their necks are for fighting for females.
[01:01:55] Speaker A: It's like yolo. It's like, like, I. I like to imagine, like, you know, baby giraffes, like, oh, it's getting born and it, like, hits the ground and just explodes. Just dies immediately. Just like, oh, no. You know, like, you know, if, like, someone jumps off a building and they just explode. But, like, giraffes fall out of the, like, the giraffe and just explode on the ground. Like, she gives. Like, the female giraffe gives birth, like, over concrete, and it's like, dead immediately.
Terminal velocity giraffe just dies. Yeah.
[01:02:30] Speaker B: I don't know the success rate, like, in the.
[01:02:33] Speaker A: Out in the wild, like, you know, how often do, like, they, like, drop the babies and, like, the head hits, like, a rock immediately, and it's like, oh, you know, bad luck.
[01:02:46] Speaker B: I do not know how long giraffes are pregnant for.
[01:02:50] Speaker A: Right. Like, I. I've seen horses fuck. I've never seen a giraffe fuck.
Like, do, like, giraffe penises look weird?
[01:03:00] Speaker B: I have absolutely no idea. I've also never seen giraffes mating.
[01:03:04] Speaker A: Like. Like, it could be the giraffes are just robots. Like, giraffes that just don't exist. Anything could be a robot, you know, birds aren't real. You know, horses aren't real.
[01:03:19] Speaker C: Simulation, guys. Simulation.
[01:03:22] Speaker A: It's all right. Like, I. I saw this.
The. This group of toys and books and stories, and it. It all is based on this one toy named Hork, which is a horse and a shark.
[01:03:39] Speaker C: Oh, my God. They have. They actually have, like, more than one book about.
[01:03:44] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, like, a ton of animals combined.
[01:03:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[01:03:48] Speaker A: And.
[01:03:48] Speaker C: Well, no, like, their company, they specifically have a bunch of different stories.
[01:03:55] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's great. And it's, like, about, you know, like, his. Like, I guess his daughter, like, combined toys like Sid from Toy Story and, you know, created a bunch of, like, you know, fun little, you know, animals. And I'm like.
Like, this is great. Like, let me see the.
[01:04:15] Speaker B: Is this fun to you? This is creepy as.
[01:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, they're very adorable.
[01:04:19] Speaker B: Okay, I need to see this because it's so creepy as.
[01:04:25] Speaker A: Okay, no, it doesn't have to, like, type it out.
Random moles.
[01:04:38] Speaker B: Oh, my. What the fuck is that?
[01:04:41] Speaker A: It's a shark and a horse.
[01:04:42] Speaker B: That is foul. Oh, my eyes. My eyes.
I told you this shit was creepy. My fucking eyes.
[01:04:50] Speaker A: There. There's journal.
[01:04:51] Speaker B: I don't want to see any.
[01:04:52] Speaker A: Which is a giraffe and a turtle.
[01:04:54] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[01:04:57] Speaker A: There's octopus, which. I think you'll like this one.
It's a cat head.
Send me a picture here, I'll share it with you.
[01:05:10] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:05:12] Speaker B: Wait. I literally have one of those, but it's.
[01:05:15] Speaker A: It's a cat head.
[01:05:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I literally have one of those.
I got it from Kickstarter, like, 10 years ago.
[01:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, it's.
[01:05:24] Speaker B: Can't remember a tentacle kitty.
[01:05:29] Speaker A: But yeah.
[01:05:29] Speaker B: So Yes, I do like that one, but I don't want to see any more.
[01:05:35] Speaker C: I want to see more.
[01:05:37] Speaker B: Y'all are nuts.
[01:05:38] Speaker A: It's a frog and a camel. Oh, my God, A sea dog.
[01:05:44] Speaker C: Let's see the sea dog.
[01:05:47] Speaker A: It's just like a seal and a dog.
[01:05:50] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[01:05:52] Speaker A: A zangaroo.
It's a zebra and a kangaroo.
[01:05:57] Speaker C: That's so. That looks so weird.
[01:06:03] Speaker A: What is squigger?
[01:06:04] Speaker C: It's a squirrel and a what?
[01:06:07] Speaker A: It's a horse and a dog. Hawk.
Squigger. It's like a squid, probably.
[01:06:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm just. I'm gonna live my best life over here.
[01:06:16] Speaker A: It's a squirrel and a tiger.
Oh, my God. Like, this is definitely, you know, just drugs, you know, but, yeah, like, there. There's you. You can get plushies of all these animals, and, like, they sell them all.
And I, I, I. I'm kind of down for it. I'm like, yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. There's like a. Oh, my God.
[01:06:49] Speaker C: That's so weird. Monkey, gorilla.
A monkey elephant.
[01:06:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, monkey, gorilla. Yeah, that's.
[01:06:58] Speaker C: Oh, wait, no, it looks like a gorilla.
[01:07:00] Speaker A: Yeah, there's like a. A dog and a dolphin.
Yeah, a penguin.
This is like something you get for someone that, like, does a lot of acid.
[01:07:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I like the leopard bird.
[01:07:22] Speaker A: But, yeah, they're called randals for anyone that is wondering, you know, and is very random.
But, yeah, let's get into this. You know, the last advice. I got three advice, actually. We're. We're already at time. We'll do one advice, and we'll do the one that I like the best. By monk2071 I'm getting married soon, and I'm nervous.
I'm getting married in less than a month, and I'm seeking advice for my clarity, for context. I'm a man in my young 20s who's been living myself for the past three years, and I have zero experience living with others besides my limited time growing up with my parents and no siblings. So I've never been married, and I've never lived with anyone of equal status to myself.
I know you can only take so much advice, and the best learning is through time and experience. But I'm left with a few questions, and I like to pose for someone who feels knowledgeable, preferably from someone who has experience and has learned to do things the right way or whatever way works for your relationship or marriage. Because ultimately, I want us both to be happy and in a healthy relationship.
1. What can I Expect or what should I do to prepare for my soon wife to move in with me? I have no experience of living or sharing with another person.
Yeah, I mean, just if you're like, you know, make room for her. She's going to take up, you know, a spot in your.
[01:09:15] Speaker B: I feel like people should move in together before they get married. I know it's kind of the unpopular pilling, but like, if you're going to marry someone, you. You want to make sure you. You're going to live in the same space with them comfortably. Like, it's not a wrong thing to, to check out.
[01:09:29] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, has she been over to your place? Does she spend the night? Or, you know, are you in a culture where that's like, just. No, because. Because there are some cultures where it's like, you know, you, you, you know, do like a courtship and you don't, you know, spend any time like, like that before marriage.
[01:09:52] Speaker B: Well, the answer is you really don't know what it's going to feel like to live with someone until you've lived with someone. Because lots of things change in ways you don't expect. But a lot of times it's good changes, though.
[01:10:02] Speaker A: I mean, you know, get like, you know, have, you know, patience for things.
Stuff is going to get moved and you're just gonna have to like, you know, make room for her and you to like, you know, blend your lives.
So, yeah, it's going to be like, boom.
[01:10:23] Speaker B: It should be something to look forward to.
[01:10:26] Speaker A: It's like putting a new color in a bucket of paint, you know, and you don't know what it's going to look like until it's all been blended together.
But if you love this woman, it should be fine. Question 2. What marital advice would you give to someone who's very independent and enjoys personal alone time and wants to maintain a healthy balance in their relationship?
Have stuff that you want to do, like by yourself and, you know, just explain that just like, well, someone should.
[01:11:01] Speaker B: Exist outside their marriage. Like, their marriages shouldn't be their whole world.
[01:11:05] Speaker A: I mean, like, it's healthy. There's stuff that, you know, my wife, you know, goes out and does stuff that I go out and do and then stuff that we do together.
[01:11:13] Speaker B: Yeah. No, personal time's important and we both respect that.
[01:11:18] Speaker A: So. Yeah, I mean, like, you know, as long, like when you first get married. Yeah. You're gonna spend a lot of time together.
[01:11:25] Speaker B: Well, yeah, honeymoon phase.
[01:11:28] Speaker A: But then, you know, after that it's like, yeah, just go out and, you know, have, you know, you know, like, this is me time or this is me and my boys night.
[01:11:38] Speaker B: And I mean, I feel like this should have already been figured out before they've gotten married. Like, they should already understand each other's schedules.
Like, this kind of sounds like they haven't talked very much about this.
And he's asking advice from strangers instead of asking her directly?
[01:11:56] Speaker A: Well, no, he, he just like he's getting married and it, it's a big unknown, you know. Okay, you know, like, yes, we've dated, you know, but now it's a, you know, whole new level, like from dating to marriage, you know, is a, you know, new, you know, level altogether.
[01:12:19] Speaker B: So Op is nervous because he doesn't understand the roles. He just needs to sit down with his partner and be like. And discuss rules.
Like, yeah, I mean, just need to sit. He just needs to sit her down and be like, yo, I don't. This is my expectations. What are your expectations? And let's see what matches up and what doesn't.
[01:12:38] Speaker A: Well, it's like, you know, hey, I'm starting a new job, you know, what should I expect?
[01:12:44] Speaker B: You know, precisely conversation.
[01:12:48] Speaker A: But, you know, like, they just, they want to get spoilers a little bit is what I'm, you know, getting from this post here. Like, kind of like wants to be like, hey, spoil, like, you know, what can. What's a good, bad and ugly of this?
But yeah, I mean, you know, you don't have to do everything together, you know, at the same time. Give her her own, you know, space to do whatever the she wants to do. So third question.
What advice from experience would you give to two people who are how happy and have a healthy marriage to who want to. Who want a happy and healthy marriage for the rest of their lives?
[01:13:35] Speaker B: Oh, that's such a sweet question.
[01:13:38] Speaker A: You're such a young 20 something year old.
[01:13:41] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's. That, that's such a cute question.
Oh, my God. Op's gonna be just fine.
[01:13:51] Speaker A: You know.
[01:13:52] Speaker B: Opie's gonna be just fine. He's a, He's a romantic. Things will be fine.
[01:13:58] Speaker A: Be yourself.
Don't hit her. Don't cheat on her.
I mean, the bar is pretty low, you know, just give her your head kisses and she'll be fine.
You know, I do have a whole joke about this. I'm like, if you want a, you know, perfect relationship, there are, you know, five words, you know, to say, yes, dear, I love you. That's it, you know. Oh, do you think we should get a dog? Yes, dear. I love you. What do you think about this couch? Yes, dear. I love. Just boom. Like a therapist. Just keep on hammering it down, you'll be fine.
But don't roll over.
Yeah. Put in your own input and just be nice to her.
Yeah.
Give her kisses. Girls like kisses and flowers.
[01:15:02] Speaker B: Flowers are very important. And don't forget the jewelry.
[01:15:06] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, girls love pearl necklaces.
[01:15:09] Speaker B: I don't like pearls. Pearls are weird.
[01:15:12] Speaker C: Really?
[01:15:12] Speaker B: Yeah, they're like fucking gallbladder stones.
[01:15:16] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you missed the joke there. Apparently pearl necklace is like a name for like when you like, jizzle over girls tits.
[01:15:23] Speaker B: Oh, that's disgusting.
[01:15:25] Speaker C: Really?
[01:15:26] Speaker A: Yeah, it's called the pearl necklace.
[01:15:29] Speaker C: Huh.
[01:15:30] Speaker A: Because it's just like, you know, gobuls of come like all over her tits.
[01:15:35] Speaker C: You had.
[01:15:36] Speaker B: You had to use that word?
[01:15:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like I. Oh, my.
[01:15:42] Speaker B: God, that was a horrible word choice.
[01:15:46] Speaker A: Globs.
[01:15:47] Speaker B: I am tra. I am traumatized right now.
[01:15:50] Speaker A: Good.
[01:15:50] Speaker B: Oh my God.
[01:15:52] Speaker A: See, like that, that's how you keep a good relationship, good marriage. Traumatize your wife, you know, but yeah, you should be fine.
Yeah, Just talk about your wife all the time.
Make sure everyone knows you have a wife.
[01:16:13] Speaker B: It's important.
I worked hard for my title.
[01:16:18] Speaker A: Everyone knows you have a wife. And they always ask about you and they're like, how is she doing? I'm like, she's doing good.
You know, she still is a liberal, you know, but I love her anyway.
But that's been, you know, all the time for this week. We'll be back next week with some more of this stuff. We will have more advice. And if you want to, you know, send an advice, go ahead and send it to me at Alex a Truck on Instagram or Twitter or whatever the.
You know, I'll read it. You know, I don't care.
And yeah, we'll be back next week. As I said, whatever. Bye.
