Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty. Of course, my wife waits till, like, we start the podcast to crack open her soda.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: I moved away from the microphone.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: It's all right. This is the human.
[00:00:12] Speaker C: I don't hear it.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: It's fine.
I like to give. Now she's literally sipping it.
[00:00:23] Speaker C: This is the Human podcast.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it is a human podcast. Welcome, everybody. I am your host, Alex Truck. This is my wife, not the truck. And across the land, we have Courtney. Say hello.
[00:00:35] Speaker C: Yep. Hello.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: You're just doing it on purpose now.
[00:00:40] Speaker B: No, that one was accidental.
[00:00:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I kind of heard that one.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like when you're like, I.
[00:00:48] Speaker C: Am burping, so I'm sorry if I burp.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: It's like when you're like, someone, like, accidentally slurps their soup and you're like, hey, don't do that. That's like. That's like the worst. And then they slurp their soup on purpose. Like, more aggressively. Like, aggressively.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: Like, you're not my mom.
[00:01:07] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: You just, like, want to hit them. It's like, oh, if laws weren't a thing, I would hit you right now.
Yeah, like, everyone wants anarchy until, like, they realize that they're not the strongest and they would not win in an anarchy battle.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: Survival the fittest.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: I mean, the anarchy and survival of the fittest, not really the same. I mean, there is some similarities, but, you know, not everything is the same there.
But, you know, like, as a dude, I. I do think about, like, living in that kind of world where it's like, you could do whatever you want. You can go out the front door and punch someone in the face. You won't get in trouble.
And I'm like, yeah, but anarchy, like, and, like, no rules are only great when it applies only to you.
Like, when somebody else is allowed to punch you in the face without consequences, that's when it sucks.
Like, today we saw this dude, like, in a fucking motorized wheelchair.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: Just.
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Fuck it.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Just ballsy as shit, I guess.
[00:02:28] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:02:29] Speaker A: Jay rolling across the street. I mean, he wasn't Jay walking like.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: It was green and we were all going to go forward, and he just, like, goes straight, straight across the fucking.
Across all three lanes.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: To be fair, it did have some speed on it.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: Quite honestly, I desperately wanted to hit him, and I didn't, so you need to be proud of me.
Oh, my God, you've no idea.
[00:02:54] Speaker C: I just think of my grandfather, you know, it's funny. I learned more stuff about him, and he actually used to be, like, a panhandler. And stuff.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: He handled the pans in a kitchen. What a great man.
[00:03:08] Speaker C: You know, he was one of those people in the wheelchair with the dog scamming people out of money.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: I mean, they're not scamming people out of money. Yeah, but, like, if you're that dumb, like. Like, anytime I see a homeless person on the side of the road back, anything helps or smile or God loves you. Any dumb, you know, cardboard sign like that, I put them in my A frame and make them disappear.
Like, my God. Yeah, I like, they should.
[00:03:38] Speaker C: You know, it's funny. They actually. People are willing to give money to actual. Like, that are.
That say that they're gonna get some weed or they're gonna get some alcohol and some shit like that.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah, of course.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: Fucking honesty.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: If I saw someone that held a sign like, fuck these homeless people. Give me your money instead, I would probably. I. I'd be more incensed to give that. I should go hold that sign. I should go hold a sign saying, these homeless people give me money instead. You know, I work a job and I'm still poor.
You know, it's like, just see how many people give me a bunch of money.
I mean, it couldn't hurt.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: I once saw a minivan, and on the back it says, said, need food and clothing for Christmas. And then it had a Venmo at the bottom.
[00:04:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: And I was like, this.
[00:04:33] Speaker A: It. Like, I have seen, you know, just graduated and their Venmo tag.
I mean, like, it does. It's not. It doesn't hurt to ask, you know, if someone's dumb enough to give you money. Awesome. You know, I. I'm sure, like, you know, every once in a while, you know, some Christian person is like, I love Jesus. I'm going to bless this person with $10.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: One time I saw a cop give a panhandler money, and I was pissed off when I saw that.
[00:05:04] Speaker A: Like, maybe it was like a bunch of change. And like, the second the cop, like, drives away, it explodes and kills them.
[00:05:10] Speaker C: Oh, my God, that would have been great. Or maybe the cop actually knows that person because they've been. That's part of community outreach.
[00:05:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: I never thought of that.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: So they might have actually known who they were.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Or he gave them fake and then, you know, like, circulate it.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Okay. The homeless people can be the new money launderers.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: No, like, he gives them, like, fake money and then has another cop come up and, like, search him. I heard you have fake money. Oh, this is a fake $20 bill. And then arrests him and, like, sends him to prison for fucking, you know, fake money forever. It's like, there you go. Three hots and a car. It's the best I could do for you.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I think my idea is brilliant.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, I. I have an idea, and it's just homeless people getting jobs.
Like, I. I have met homeless people and I've known homeless people, and, like, some of them are just, you know, going through a tough time. They're homeless, but they have a job and they're working. And I'm like, cool, good for you. I'm not gonna look down upon you, you know, and I'll buy you a beer even. But if you're, you know, just like, someone buy me a beer, I'm homeless. Off.
Get a job.
Like, if you're just going to sit there and do drugs all day and piss yourself, then, yeah, like, you're the worst kind of homeless. But if. If you're like, one of these homeless people that, like, kind of, you know, live out in the, you know, wilderness and just kind of live off the grid and, you know, have kind of a nice tent and just make homeless.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: People getting high to escape their reality, they're gonna.
[00:06:56] Speaker A: They're gonna high because it's fun as to get high.
What else they have to do, like.
[00:07:03] Speaker C: When exactly they're escaping their reality.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: But, like, well, when you realize it's like most of my money is spent, you know, keeping the lights and the gas and the, you know, water and the Internet up, paying for the house and, you know, paying for, you know, car. If I was to strip all of that away, you know, and have no house payment, no, you know, you know, insurance payments, none of that. And I only had to pay for food. I'd only need, like, maybe, you know, three, 400amonth, you know, and I can, you know, go make that pretty quick and.
Yeah, just literally go, you know, work for a year and then I'm solid for a few years. Being homeless?
Yeah, yeah, just go put, you know, get like a decent tent. Go put it out, you know, have some solar panels and, you know, if you're out there, like, you know, in a secluded spot where no one else goes, yeah, you're fucking solid as a rock.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: So if you had a job and then you were homeless and you had like a while. While you weren't working and then you get a job again, does the IRS come after you for the taxes you didn't pay while you were homeless?
[00:08:19] Speaker A: You don't pay taxes when you're homeless.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: Yeah. So don't you owe taxes if you don't pay taxes?
[00:08:24] Speaker A: No. If you make a, you know, not enough money, you don't even pay taxes. Like, say you make, like, $10,000 in the year. Don't quote me on this. You don't pay taxes. If you fall below, like, the, you know, the minimum, like, tax threshold, you don't pay anything.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Okay. I feel like the threshold is way too low.
[00:08:43] Speaker A: The what?
[00:08:43] Speaker B: I feel like the threshold is way too low.
[00:08:45] Speaker A: The threshold is very fucking, like, you have to, like, make, like, no fucking money.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Okay. I feel like the threshold should be, like, 50.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. You know, Donald Trump wants to get rid of the, you know, tax on overtime, you know, and all kinds of. And so, like, people like me that work overtime hours are like, hell, yes, I'm all for this.
But. Yeah, if you're. If you're homeless and you're not making any money and, like, you're only getting, like, gifts. Yeah. You don't pay taxes on that.
I mean, like, the only reason I have a house is because you. That's it.
[00:09:29] Speaker B: I'm well aware of that.
[00:09:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, if. If. If I didn't have her and I didn't have, like, the responsibility of, like, a wife, like, I would probably just, like, live in my truck.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: You totally would.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: Like, you know what? Like, I could, you know, plug into my truck, you know, charge my phone, you know, put a solar panel on the roof, maybe even get, like, a little pull behind trailer, you know, and move it around.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: I have a castle, and it's a very pretty castle.
[00:10:01] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: And then, yeah, just, you know, do that sort of shit and just be like, cool. I live in, like, a tiny little, like, r pod, you know, and I have my truck, and I, you know, move around town and I'm gonna, you know, stay here for the night. I'm gonna stay over here for the night. Cool. I'm gonna.
And as long as you keep on moving and don't. Don't make a mess, no one really gives a.
You know, just pull up to, you know, work, park my trailer, you know, boom, boom, you know? Yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: No, you were literally homeless homeless when we first started dating. And within, like, what, six months, you had a job in a flat? Like, before that, before me, you were already homeless and you. You didn't care.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: Yeah, no, like, you're the whole reason you're it. And I mean, like, I. I think about it, you know, like, all the time. I'm like, you know, what would I do if I Had to like restart everything over. Like if everything just collapsed out from underneath me, I'm like, you know, you know, how would I, you know, rebuild to this point?
And I do it very differently.
[00:11:18] Speaker B: Well, yeah. You have new knowledge.
[00:11:20] Speaker A: Well, no, I just, you know, I like, hey, you have to, you know, live in the trailer with me.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: Plus I kept my job and there was enough room for all the kitties.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: Yeah, there'd be plenty of room for all the kitties.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: It's kind of it.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Have a little solar panel on the top and then boom. Hell yeah. Thumbs up all the way.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: And I'd want to hang lanterns.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: Not outside, but no, inside, but. And then, you know, we just like.
[00:11:48] Speaker B: Where's my clawfoot tub going to go in the.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Oh my God, Nowhere. You live in a fifth wheel trailer.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: Wait, so if I live in a trailer with you, I don't get my claw foot?
[00:12:00] Speaker A: No.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah, that kind of changes things.
[00:12:06] Speaker C: You can always have like the property own. If you end up getting a trailer, you can have property that has like a little bath house on it.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean like that, that's not too terrible of an idea. Just.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Can't I get like one of those like mini greenhouses and have it like a tent?
[00:12:25] Speaker A: Yep, one of the mini greenhouses and have it like a tent. Yes, that would be a structure.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: And it's not a tent. It's like a.
[00:12:38] Speaker B: But it's collapsible.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Not really. No.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Oh, well then I need a tent.
I liked greenhouse because greenhouse sounded like a fun word to put in front of it.
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah. You would like sweat your fucking ass off in the greenhouse.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: That's kind of the point.
[00:12:56] Speaker A: Like a sauna up in that.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: I'd hate it.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: Well, it's for me.
I mean, you understand I still need the fires of hell for water.
[00:13:10] Speaker A: Yeah, I can do that. I like, I can make, you know, hot water anywhere in the world.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: Precisely.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm good at fucking MacGyvering shit together. But it's like.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Yeah, like when I'm not using the tub, we can flip it like upside down. You can use like the cherry picker to put it on top of the trailer so it's out of the way.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: No, I just buy land.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: Oh. So then I still get my. Okay. As long as I get my cloth footed tub and I keep my job and there's enough room for the cats.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: Yeah. I would rebuild everything. I'd buy land and then, you know, put like a trailer on it and then.
But I'm doing okay now.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: I know I love her house. It's so nice.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: Yeah. You like?
[00:13:53] Speaker B: I love our house. I really love our house.
I love my house.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: See, like, this is how women are. Like. They're like, castle, like, hey, you can. Hey, you gave me all this stuff, but, you know, this and this. And then, like, a man will come around back. I can give you that and that. And then they're like, how big's your dick? All right, that will do. This man can give me a claw foot tub. I'm gonna be riding his dick for.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: His claw foot tub.
[00:14:22] Speaker A: And then when he turns out to be a mean jerk, I'll come back to you.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: But I'll take the. I'll bring the tub with me.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: You better bring half his money.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Well, obviously, we'll be in it together.
Like, I can. We can, like, drug him and make his change his will to me, and then we off him, and then I get all the money.
[00:14:43] Speaker A: No, that's not how that works.
But, like, you know, I feel like that's like a great, like, you know, fucking cuck novel where, like, a man, like, you know, has his girlfriend, you know, go out and marry dudes and, like, stay with them for, like, a year, and then, you know, leave them and take half their estate back to him.
And it's like, all right, now go get him.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: This is like a long term interest form of pimping.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: I mean, what's the difference?
[00:15:18] Speaker B: Like, what is the difference?
[00:15:20] Speaker A: Imagine some dude has $5 million, okay, and you have a hot girl and, you know, you send her out for a year, and then she comes back with, like, $2.5 million.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:33] Speaker A: Fucking hell. Yeah.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: My point stands.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: But, you know, it's like, her idea, like, it could be a book. I'm sure, like, some twisted woman out there would be, like, interested in, like, reading that book.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: Like, you know, it's like a James Patterson novel.
[00:15:51] Speaker A: Is that. Is that a thing? Like, like.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: It's not. It's an insult towards James Patterson's writing style.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Like, obviously, I'm not a, you know, book person, but I can come up with a story in my head.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: You know, I'm like, that. That, like. Like, if there was, like, a man that's, like, had like, $10 million. I love you.
You know, I. I can take you away from all this. Then I'd be like, go fucking, you know, marry him and stay with him for a year, and then, you know, get half of his shit and don't sign that prenup, and then you can come back as long as you Bring, you know, like, the $5 million.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: Precisely.
So not his prenup, but yours.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: Something like that. Yeah.
Like. Like it's a brilliant scam.
Like, just treating a woman like a. Yo, yo, B. Go attack. Go attack. Go it. And it's like, yes, I'm. I'm a fucking diabolical villain over here.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: You wish.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: I do. And, like, I was actually talking about this on stage the other night.
If I was to become a villain, you know, I wouldn't want, like, superpowers or, you know, anything like that. I would want the power to curse people with bad luck on the road.
Like, I just, like, call my villain name Road rage. And I just beg. You're always gonna hit a red light no matter what, you know, you're always gonna have someone going, you know, five miles an hour below the speed limit in front of you.
People are always gonna jaywalk in front of your car.
You know, you own a fucking Tesla now. And just like that, that would be my superpower just to go fuck with people.
And I would love it.
[00:17:52] Speaker B: We need to get you a laugh track.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: I mean, I have a laugh track over here, but I'm not gonna use it.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: Okay.
Sorry. It was the second time I heard the joke, and I couldn't laugh.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: It's brutal.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Like, I'm so sorry.
[00:18:08] Speaker A: Like, there's times where, like, I will set up a joke, and I'm like, oh, here comes the fucking punchline. And I say the punchline, and no one gets it.
Like, just people, like, like, wait, what? And there's, like, someone, like, in the back, like, silent giggling. And I can see them silent giggling because they fully understood the joke.
And they're, like, dying of laughter, but silently.
And I'm like, oh, that's right. I'm dealing with a room full of dumb shits, you know? And I'm like, if I'm telling a smart joke, you're all really dumb.
So that's why, like, that's why comics just talk about their penis all the time. It's like, everyone can understand penises.
[00:18:58] Speaker C: Oh, my goodness.
[00:18:59] Speaker B: Remember when. I remember when, like, Covid was like, first summer was first summer, and they were, like, doing, like, standup with, like, the brewery, and everyone came when we were all in our cars.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: And those people had to get up and do stand up in complete silence.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Oh, dude, that was fucking brutal.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: And it took, like, what, four sessions before he figured out using lights was the best way to show we were laughing.
And so not only are they making jokes to loud silence, they're Being blinded by everyone's lights.
The eye pain shows the. The intense the eye pain proves how funny the joke is.
[00:19:43] Speaker A: Like, I still remember, like, there's a one guy that, like, came up, like, high as, and he, like, just giggled at his own jokes, like, the entire goddamn time. Just, you know, got up on stage, he's like, you know, and then, like, just did that for, like, four minutes and then walked off the stage. He was the headliner of the entire show.
[00:20:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God. He was living his best life.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: And, you know, pretty much, like, right after the show ended, I got an email and a refund.
[00:20:20] Speaker B: You did?
[00:20:21] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I got refunded for that. Like, I. I didn't ask for it. They're just like, here's your money back, you know, before you start to ask for it. Here you go. We're sorry about whatever the that was. He's not coming back.
Like, I. I feel like Courtney doesn't have any comedy shows where she's at. Do you have any comedy shows in your town?
[00:20:46] Speaker C: I probably do.
I should go.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: Yeah, get yourself out of the house more.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: Just, like, find fun stuff to do. Find, you know, people to hang out with, you know, like, that. That's, you know, what I do is I. I go out and find people to hang out with, you know, Even if, like, my main crew isn't out, I'm just like, all right, I'll find people, you know, and then I go out and I, I'll still find people. They're like, hey, Alex. I'm like, oh, you know why they like you? Because I'm from the big city?
[00:21:24] Speaker B: No, it's because you look chokable.
[00:21:27] Speaker A: Oh, my God.
So last Wednesday, I was doing karaoke. I, I, I went out to go do karaoke, and it was, like, also, like, my friends, like, birthday, like, the day before, and so I'm like, all right, let's go out and do some karaoke. Hell, yeah. And, you know, I'm, you know, transferring between inside and outside because we have, like, a back patio at this bar where you can go out and smoke and stuff and still, you know, be part of the bar.
So I. I go out back, and, you know, my. My buddy Jason, he's, you know, talking to this chick, you know, getting her number, you know, kind of. And she's, like, kind of being, like, flirty and, you know, and she's, like, laughing and, you know, touching him, and I'm like, oh, dude, she wants to bang the out of you, dude. Like a fucking hammer with a board. And then she, like, compliments his dimples.
And I. I just look at my friend Jason because, like, a couple months back, there was this Mexican chick that just would not shut up about his dimples. Make. Oh, your dimples are so cute. I love your dimple. You know, like a half an hour.
Yeah. And I'm just like.
And to see it happen a second fucking time. Me and him are just fucking, you know, sharing knowing glances and giggling. And she's just upset at this point. Like, what the fuck is everyone laughing about? You know, because, like, we're all, like, in on the joke.
And then she, like, looks at me, and I'm just, like, kind of, you know, smiling and on my phone, just kind of being, like, antisocial, waiting for my song to come up. And she, like, walks over, looks at me, and it's like, you look chokeable.
And I'm like, what? And my buddy Jason's like, he's married.
[00:23:29] Speaker B: Because Jason's got my back.
[00:23:32] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: I'm like, yeah. Like, I'm not. You know, like, Durango is all family. They're all Eskimo brothers.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: But that's why people like you, because.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: I'm, like, the only one that hasn't fucked anyone in Durango.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: I'm just going to compliment you as Chocobo from now on.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: But, like, like, if. Like, is that. Is this how girls, like, flirt with guys like, you? Like, would you ever, like, use that line, Courtney?
[00:24:09] Speaker C: No.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: Like, like, what. What is a line that you would use to introduce yourself to a dude?
[00:24:16] Speaker C: Like, not that quite honestly. They'd probably introduce themselves, and then I'd introduce myself.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: See, like. Like, most of the girls that show up, you know, are already, you know, like, dating someone, and I'm like, all right, cool.
But, you know, like, sometimes, like, the randos come out, and college just got out, so I have a feeling this is who these people were. People that just got out of college.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: I mean, phase.
[00:24:55] Speaker A: I mean, like, if I had, like, a Maga hat and she's like, you look chokeable, I would understand.
I'm like, yeah, probably, you know, she's like, I'm gonna go outside and burn her Tesla. You know, I would understand.
But just, you know, out of the blue, to be like, you look like. If any dude was to do any. Anything close to that.
Anything close to that at all, immediately the cops are called, you're going in cuffs. Like, you can't ever say anything, even close that to a woman.
Yeah, but, you know, FR Friday was actually, like, a normal day.
But let's get into some news stories.
Talking about idiots.
Local media in Shizukoa prefecture reported that someone contacted the 110 emergency line on April 26 after seeing a man collapse. Rescuers arrived near the 8 station to find a 27 year old university student of Chinese nationality. The man, who resides in Tokyo, was climbing alone and apparently suffering from altitude sickness on his attempted descent. He was conscious, however, unable to talk to the rescuers in Japanese. This wasn't the man's first climb up the mountains. Reporters said he had been rescued four days earlier, on April 22 by helicopter. At that time, the man reported that he had lost the crampon, the crampons tracking device attached to his climbing boots and was unable to climb down in the snow. The crampons?
[00:26:55] Speaker B: The fuck are crampons?
[00:26:58] Speaker A: It's like tampons for your cramps.
[00:27:02] Speaker B: That makes absolute no sense. Is that like the things you, like, stab into, like, the icebergs to climb up?
[00:27:07] Speaker A: Probably. It's like something you stab into your ovaries to settle them down.
[00:27:12] Speaker B: Well, Google it. I need to know what these are.
[00:27:14] Speaker A: Okay, now I have to. All right, let's see what a cramp on it. Yeah, they're ice clean.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: I was right. Whoa.
[00:27:22] Speaker A: Hardcore ice clean.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: Oh, I love being right. Oh, my God. I feel I was right.
[00:27:28] Speaker A: But at the time, the man had reportedly lost his crampons, tracking device, traction devices attached to his climbing booth, and was able to climb. Unable to climb down in the snow, the student reportedly returned to Fuji to retrieve his smartphone.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: During his first unfortunate ascent, it is unclear whether he found it.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: You know, he didn't.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: But yeah, there's like, this Chinese dude.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: This is like the chick who, like, went down into the, like, national park, like, potty to go get her phone. Like, the one where it's like a pit.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Oh, if it's in there, it's gone.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's gone.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: Like, if I go anywhere near, like, a pit of despair, I make sure that nothing can fall out of my pocket.
[00:28:18] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:28:19] Speaker A: I secure everything.
Like, I'll wrap duct tape around my pockets. I'm like, nothing is falling. Like, I'll take my pants off before I get there. I'm like, it's fine.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: Like, whenever I use one, I'm so worried. Okay. I'm an adult. I'm like, what, 3132? I am still scared that there is a monster rummaging around down there at the bottom that's, like, able to, like, reach up and, like, grab me and, like, pull me down into the pit. Every time I use the toilet, it's like the Star.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: The Star Wars.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Yeah, that thing where it has, like a single eye that, like, pokes.
[00:28:50] Speaker A: The Star wars trash monster that's, like, in the toilet. And every single toilet, it eats the poo and survives off of it.
[00:28:59] Speaker B: Oh, it's.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: It just like, comes up and like, pokes your butt with its eye. It's like, ah, no.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: And it's. And the eyes, like. Like the string of it, it's like all sticky and there's like clumps falling over it, like dead leaves.
It is so this. It's. That's just such a biohazard.
But I can't. I'm so scared of it every single time.
[00:29:25] Speaker A: There's times where I'm just scared of, like, just the porta Potties in themselves.
[00:29:29] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Open the door. I'm like, why? Why are fucking people like this? You know, sometimes I feel like pulling the population is a right move. Because, you know, if you go into a porta Potty and someone has shit on the wall, it's disgusting. Or like, you know, not.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: Or there's in the urinal, like, you.
[00:29:52] Speaker A: Have to, like, try to do that. You're a piece of like. I. I feel like if.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: If, you know, I ate border putty.
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Like, it, like, if someone like, catches you doing that, they should just throw you into, like, the, you know, blue liquid at the bottom full of.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: Okay, we went to the gun place, right? And I had used the Porta Potty, right? I was wearing petticoats when I used that Porta Potty. And it was traumatizing.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: That. That one's actually not too bad.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: It wasn't, but still, I like, bunched them up and I was, like, holding it together. I was. I like, bunched him up to a knot and I was holding it with my mouth. Like, I was like, oh, my God. And I was wearing tights, and I have a walking boot, so I can only pull the tights down to my knees. It was so awkward.
I might have peed on myself a little bit and just given up. And I was like, let's go.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: Well, there's no running water out there.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: Yeah, I know.
I know. And it didn't go well.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: It's fine.
[00:30:53] Speaker B: It was fine for you. It was not fine for me.
[00:30:57] Speaker C: God, that is so funny.
[00:30:59] Speaker B: I was not.
[00:31:00] Speaker A: Okay, see, like, I. I want to know who this.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: Five layers of tools.
None of you understand what that means?
[00:31:12] Speaker A: No. No idea.
But speaking of other idiots, US Navy loses a 60 million dollar jet at sea after it fell overboard.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
They better have a really good excuse for this.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: It probably burnt too much fuel. So Doge was like, throw it overboard.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: Oh, it's not the bottom of the ocean leaking jet fuel everywhere.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: I mean, like, what if someone was in it? And like, do you found out that you can fly it underwater too?
[00:31:46] Speaker B: Well, it is cool. It's still jet fuel.
[00:31:49] Speaker A: An FA18 Super Hornet fighter jet has been lost at sea after it fell overboard from the USS Harry S. Truman aircraft carrier. While I was being towed on board, a U. S. Official report said that the Truman made a hard turn to evade Houthi fire, which, okay, so they are under attack and it fell off.
Yemen's Houthi rebels claimed on Monday to have launched a drone strike and a missile attack on the aircraft carrier. So, okay, so they were evading fucking attack.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: So we're more concerned about the jet that fell overboard than the people who put their lives at risk.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: I mean, like, everyone's upset that we're like bombing like terrorists now, but yeah, $60 million.
[00:32:47] Speaker B: This is capitalism at its secondary finest.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: But yeah, it costs more than $60 million. What?
[00:32:57] Speaker B: I want my baby kittens.
[00:33:00] Speaker A: What?
[00:33:01] Speaker B: I want my beer. Okay, my beer is called baby kittens.
[00:33:06] Speaker C: Why?
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Because it has pictures of orange and pink cats on it and the brand is fat orange cat. This beer tastes like shit, but I'm drinking it. Cause it's called baby kittens because I like cats.
[00:33:19] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
Seriously.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: It tastes like Pine sol. But there's baby kittens.
I know, I paid for it and it's 12%.
[00:33:39] Speaker C: Please stop talking about baby kitten.
[00:33:43] Speaker A: Well, let's talk about a robotic burger joint.
[00:33:47] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: So, you know, everyone's, you know, concerned about AI taking our jobs. They're taking our jobs. I mean, but there's this new place called Burger Bot. Let me find out where the this place actually is.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: If it's not California, so help me God.
[00:34:07] Speaker A: It's in the Silicon Valley.
[00:34:09] Speaker B: Where's that?
[00:34:14] Speaker A: Let's see. Burger butt. God damn it.
Burger.
Not burger boy restaurant. God damn it.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Ah, it's in California.
[00:34:30] Speaker A: Of course it's in California.
It's in Las Gatos.
Los Gatos.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: Los Gatos.
[00:34:38] Speaker A: Lost cats.
[00:34:41] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: Los Gatos, California.
161 West Main Street.
But yeah, it's burgers that are made by robots.
Oh, it says it right here. Jesus. Like the next sentence.
One of the San Francisco. Well, I mean, I got the address too, so one of the San Francisco barriers. More affluent areas, shiny new fast concept Just popped up one. In one of its trendy upscale brunch spots, ABB Robotics and Burger Bots have teamed up to unleash a pair of, you know, robot thingies that slaps out tasty burgers for the masses. And 27 seconds. Flying flat.
These machines don't just stack 18, you know, patties and all that.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: They're charging $18?
[00:35:43] Speaker A: Of course they are.
[00:35:44] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: I mean, like, there's a part of me, a tiny part of me.
[00:35:50] Speaker B: Nuh. That's like. Like four burgers from In N Out.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: That wants to go try it.
Just to see, like, I want to try it. I mean, you're close. Not that close, but you're kind of close. You're closer than us.
I mean, like, I'm sure, like, you know, homeless people were sad when windshield wipers took their job.
It's like the robots are taking our jobs now. What am I supposed to do? I can no longer just go up to someone, beg, hey, I'll watch your windows for you.
[00:36:22] Speaker B: Can you ask for customizations?
[00:36:24] Speaker A: I'm sure you could.
You know, let's go to their website.
You know, the only.
[00:36:37] Speaker B: Okay. If you're going to animate a cucumber. Seriously, there's no imitation of the original.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: It's Larry the Cucumber.
[00:36:45] Speaker B: No, that's just sad.
Look at that. It's so Sad.
[00:36:50] Speaker A: It's. It's 100% Larry the Cucumber.
[00:36:52] Speaker B: No, Larry the Cucumber looks like a nice cucumber to put up your vagina. That thing does not.
[00:36:58] Speaker A: It's ribbed for her pleasure.
Let me share it so that way Courtney can see what the fuck we're talking about.
There you go. Enjoy that poor show.
It's, you know, asking where its hairbrush is or whatever.
[00:37:22] Speaker B: I like the hairbrush episode, but quite honestly, my favorite was Jonah and the Whale because it had the pirates.
[00:37:30] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: Like, their fucking songs were too goddamn catchy for being, like, Christian fucking.
[00:37:36] Speaker B: Oh, my God, they were such good songs.
[00:37:39] Speaker A: I'm like, God damn it.
[00:37:41] Speaker B: Like, I hope parents had to listen to that on review.
[00:37:44] Speaker A: Saturated my soul with these fucking songs.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: They were the best, though.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: Oh, my. Oh, God. Like, I'm never going to look at a cucumber the same.
[00:37:56] Speaker C: Wait, what is.
[00:37:58] Speaker A: What is the thing called the Larry the Cucumber? Just ask. Look.
[00:38:02] Speaker B: No, she knows that.
[00:38:04] Speaker A: Oh, it's called burger bots. It's burgerbots.com.
and just go to home and, like, kind of scroll down a little bit. You'll see, like, crazy fucking French Fries. And then you'll see AI. And you know, inspired by humans.
[00:38:23] Speaker B: Okay. He needs, like.
[00:38:27] Speaker C: Like, is this a real restaurant?
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:38:30] Speaker C: No, no, no, no.
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Okay, okay, I got it. He's Gary the cucumber.
[00:38:34] Speaker A: I mean, meet Bob Burgers, only better.
[00:38:40] Speaker B: You know, I do want to taste it, but I don't want to pay 18 bucks for it.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: Sometimes you just gotta, you know, fucking pay that.
[00:38:49] Speaker B: I know, but quite honestly, if I'm gonna go pay 18 bucks for a burger, I'm gonna go to go. I'm gonna go to Red Robin.
Oh, man, I miss Big Daddies.
They were, like, the best.
[00:39:04] Speaker A: Who is Big Daddy?
[00:39:05] Speaker B: They were, like, the best burger restaurant we used to order from all the time. Back at the Prius house, they had the one with the arugula and the gruyere, the fancy cheese.
[00:39:16] Speaker A: At the Prius House?
[00:39:18] Speaker B: At the pyro's house.
[00:39:21] Speaker C: Oh, my God, they have a freaking sandwich that tastes so good. From whatchamacallit. Yes, from Panera Bread. It has gear. Gr. However you say it.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: I know, right? I don't know how to say.
[00:39:37] Speaker C: Tastes so good.
Like, seriously, I don't know why my. My dad's so weird. He had it too, and he said he didn't like it.
[00:39:46] Speaker B: Your dad is weird.
[00:39:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's probably made by Democrats. He's like, I hate this. It's made by Democrats. We. We don't. We don't play that horseshit out here. We only get replaced Republican red meats on our sandwiches.
[00:39:59] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:40:03] Speaker B: Wait, so Republicans don't eat any cheese?
[00:40:06] Speaker A: No, we love cheese. What are you talking about?
[00:40:08] Speaker B: Then why are you. Then why are you hating on cheese?
[00:40:12] Speaker A: We're hating the G or cheese. Oh, it's a cheese. I thought it was, like, a meat.
[00:40:18] Speaker B: No, we're talking about cheese.
[00:40:19] Speaker A: Some kind of, like, gay cow or something that. No, hey, I'm a. I'm a ghee. Rial cow, and I'm gonna, you know, make meat. Like, you know, if I can cut off its udders or whatever.
[00:40:30] Speaker B: Well, you try to say it.
[00:40:32] Speaker A: I don't even know what word you're talking about.
[00:40:34] Speaker B: It's a melting cheese.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: Every cheese is a melting cheese.
[00:40:38] Speaker B: I use it when I make the potato dish.
[00:40:40] Speaker A: Swiss melting cheese. American melting cheese.
[00:40:44] Speaker B: Okay, American cheese is not real.
[00:40:45] Speaker A: Like, the only cheese that doesn't melt is, like, Parmesan.
[00:40:52] Speaker B: What are you talking about? Parmesan melts?
Yeah, it does.
[00:40:56] Speaker A: Like, stays, like, fucking weirdly hard in your spaghetti.
[00:40:59] Speaker B: Have you never seen it where they make, like, the spaghetti, like, in the Giant cheese wheel and it gets all gooey and cheesy. That's Parmesan.
[00:41:05] Speaker A: That's not Parmesan cheese.
[00:41:07] Speaker B: It's Parmesan. All cheese have a melting point.
[00:41:12] Speaker A: Yeah, but when the melting point is like 300 degrees, it's like, okay, I'm concerned.
[00:41:16] Speaker B: No, that's even better.
[00:41:18] Speaker A: But on to the next story about food, because I love food. Federal inspectors found antibiotics. And beef raised without antibiotics. They took no action.
It was jbs, Cargill and Tyson.
[00:41:34] Speaker B: Yeah, food advertisements can say whatever the they want. It doesn't have to be truth, fact.
[00:41:41] Speaker A: But yeah, this is last August.
[00:41:44] Speaker B: No one's gonna give a shit except fucking weirdos.
[00:41:48] Speaker A: But you know, it was on track to be sold as antibiotic free, which I don't even understand why you would want that.
You know, you want healthy cows.
[00:41:59] Speaker B: Yeah, you want healthy cows. So you have healthy fucking meat that's not fucking full of bacterial filled cysts.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: So yeah, I mean, so yeah, FDA came out and they're like, they tested the meat, like, hey, there's antibiotics in here. And like, yeah, there's estrogen and milk or something.
[00:42:17] Speaker B: Was there antibiotics or were there antigens?
[00:42:24] Speaker A: These letters recently obtained by the advocacy group cattle that tested positive for antibiotics prohibited under USDA label approved labels advertising the beef is free as antibiotics. So yeah, it was interesting.
They said there's no antibiotics and they're like, it, just send it through.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: Yeah, why should they care?
[00:42:49] Speaker A: I mean, they shouldn't like, they should only test for like mad cow disease and like that and like cysts and like to see if the cows are healthy or not. If your cows are unhealthy, you know, shoot them and bury them. Flukes, you know, who knows what's inside a fucking, you know, random cow fungal infections.
You know, honestly, I'm on board here with the fucking fda. Good job, guys.
It doesn't, you know, doesn't does seem to violate the nature of the label.
[00:43:23] Speaker B: But good advertisement.
[00:43:26] Speaker A: The dude was not concerned about immediate health impacts. Consuming antibiotic residue does not cause immediate illness.
[00:43:33] Speaker B: Oh my. What the fuck is it?
[00:43:34] Speaker A: But it contributes in the rise of antibiotic resistant bacteria, which is good.
[00:43:40] Speaker B: We need more predators.
[00:43:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
Get eaten by fucking bacterias.
We've got like what, 15 more minutes.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: We need more predators.
[00:43:51] Speaker A: And then we got a few more stars. Let's get through these neighbors demand answers after rampant masturbation takes over. Seattle. Park.
[00:44:01] Speaker B: Park.
[00:44:02] Speaker A: I feel like Seattle is in the running to be the new Florida.
[00:44:07] Speaker B: Nah, this sounds more like San Francisco.
[00:44:10] Speaker A: I mean, this is west coast Residents Of a Seattle neighborhood are pushing for the city to do something to stop the alleged criminal acts, including rampant public masturbation at their local park.
I mean, you know, get in line. Behind New York subways, a community group, Denny Blaine for all, has sued the city over what it says is ongoing and unaddressed illegal activity in the park, which is an unofficial nude beat.
[00:44:42] Speaker B: Oh my God.
Prude.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: I mean, if it's a park, like, does it have water?
Like, are people just naked? And there's like a swing set for children like 10ft away.
[00:44:56] Speaker B: Seattle's on a beach bay.
You know that, right?
[00:45:00] Speaker A: Yeah, Seattle's on the ocean.
[00:45:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:02] Speaker A: So that's the sea in Seattle.
[00:45:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:45:08] Speaker A: But, you know, it doesn't mean that they're, you know, on a.
You can have, you know, parks not next to water.
[00:45:15] Speaker B: Yeah, but that kind of defeats the purpose.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: It's illegal, it's illicit, it's masturbation multiple times a day by men sitting on the wall, sitting in the park, and view of the homes and a view of everything. It's a non ending and it's really troubling.
I just like, imagine.
[00:45:36] Speaker B: So he's the guy masturbating then.
[00:45:41] Speaker A: Who, who's the guy?
[00:45:43] Speaker B: Okay, the dude who's alleged, who's complaining about it, is a dude who's masturbating. He's just blaming other people for his own indecency.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: That'd be hilarious.
[00:45:52] Speaker B: This dude's a fucking hypocrite. He's the one standing and being a creep at the beach.
[00:45:58] Speaker A: But like, if I walk down to the beach and there's like a ton of dudes just like jerking off and I'm like, dude, fucking. More decorum.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: You're not gonna see that at a nude beach.
[00:46:08] Speaker A: Apparently this one you do.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: Oh my God, he's making it up.
He's the one who's doing the masturbating. Not.
[00:46:15] Speaker A: Here's what you do. You take pictures of them masturbating in.
[00:46:19] Speaker B: Public, and then you masturbate to those pictures when you get home.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: Hell yeah. I mean, if they have a nice enough. You do whatever you want to do with them pictures.
[00:46:27] Speaker B: Precisely.
Precisely.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: But you, you, you frame them. You get them printed out and then nice frames and then you sell them.
[00:46:37] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, no, there's. There was literally an artist in New York who was doing that. He would like, he would be like, ask for nudes and like social media, and then he would frame them as his artwork and tried to open a studio.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: But yeah, I mean, I, I don't know if, like, nudity is, you know, I feel like, yeah, nudity is not legal in Washington or nudity is not illegal in Washington state.
So, yeah, you can be naked all you want.
[00:47:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:09] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:47:10] Speaker A: They just don't like seeing dudes jack up. I mean, like, if you already see the penis and then like seeing a jack off, like, that's not too far of a leap. Whatever.
[00:47:18] Speaker C: You know, it is so funny because the way my grandmother explained this and the way you guys explained it, like, I thought my grandmother was talking about like an actual, like, designated business that was. Or like an area that they knew these perverts were gonna go to. And it was called Pervert Park. No, it's not. It's. It's. It's truly just a park where people masturbate and they got caught. And like, seriously, I thought it was so different because I don't hear. She doesn't tell me the full story. It's only like snippets. And that's. I thought there. There was this whole time a park or like a club that like cater to exhibitionism, and it wasn't.
[00:48:10] Speaker A: I mean, like, you know, and then.
[00:48:12] Speaker C: I looked up Pervert park and you know what came up? A trailer park that 122 sex offenders.
[00:48:22] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I've heard about the place.
[00:48:25] Speaker C: Yeah. And it came up with a documentary. I'm like, what the.
What is coming up?
[00:48:31] Speaker A: Like, like there's a crazy.
[00:48:33] Speaker B: Like, this is some trailer park boy.
[00:48:36] Speaker A: Oh, no, there's one that's way worse. It's like tales from the street or something like that.
[00:48:40] Speaker B: Wait, there's worse?
[00:48:41] Speaker A: There's worse than that? Yes.
[00:48:43] Speaker B: How? I don't want to know how.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: So let me, let me see if I can find it.
[00:48:49] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have.
[00:48:51] Speaker A: From the street.
[00:48:52] Speaker B: I have fairy f images.
[00:48:53] Speaker A: No, no, not that. Bubbles from the street.
[00:48:56] Speaker B: I don't need worse.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: Yeah, so it's literally a YouTube channel called Tales from the street. And it is legitimately like this guy that goes around interviewing homeless people and just like the. And I. There's like another one that's kind of like adjacent to it. And he like finds like the, like an inbred family. And like they're all fucking, you know, wonky eyed and crazy. Crazy homeless. Inbred family documentary.
Yeah, the. The Whitakers. Soft white underbelly.
[00:49:34] Speaker C: Oh, my God. You know what? I think they think he. They think half the time they were acting and they basically just cons the guy who made the thing. That's wrong with them. But they're not as bad as, like, they're made out to be, supposedly because, like, there's stuff like, like they.
[00:49:58] Speaker A: I'm sure, yeah, they come out.
[00:49:59] Speaker C: Where?
[00:50:01] Speaker A: But I mean, they, they, they are up.
Yeah, you know, just, you know, like, like this guy, like that maybe they like got like a freak show and just like put them in like a decrepit house and like, hey, here you go. And we're gonna make this documentary and, you know, you can get a bunch of money.
I mean, it's a brilliant plan if that's what happened, but, you know, you never know.
So. Yeah, I mean, if you see a bunch of dudes masturbating in a park, just don't take your kids there anymore. Simple.
[00:50:44] Speaker C: The park is for kids. Like, that's the whole purpose of the park.
[00:50:47] Speaker A: Yeah, but kids don't go to parks anymore. They stay at home and play Call of Duty and sitting on our iPads.
Yeah, but speaking of, you know, weird kids, Author of Texas Bill to ban furries in school cannot come up with examples of it happening.
[00:51:08] Speaker B: That tracks.
[00:51:11] Speaker C: Which is hilarious because it isn't happening.
[00:51:13] Speaker B: No, it's not.
[00:51:15] Speaker A: Like, like there is a.
Like, like I haven't seen any pictures of it. And like, I've seen like one like, faked picture. Like someone put like a, you know, kitty litter thing in like the bathroom.
But they were saying that, you know, kids were taking, you know, they had like a kitty litter, you know, or a pad in the bathroom. They're taking shits in there and saying that they're cats.
But no school wants to come forward and saying, yeah, that happened.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: That's hilarious.
[00:51:53] Speaker C: It's just a made up line.
[00:51:56] Speaker A: I mean, like, here's really what it comes down to. You shouldn't be able to wear a mask in school unless it's for, like, medical reasons. But, you know, wearing like a furry or fur suit or your fursona or whatever the fuck it is, you know, would constitute a mask. And no one would be able to tell who you are. Thus you are a stranger, an intruder on campus. And I feel like it is, you know, a detriment to the safety of the other students at school.
So, no, you should not be able to wear fur suits at school.
[00:52:30] Speaker C: Like, they're even talking about like stuff like cat ears and stuff, stuff like that, though. They're being stupid about it.
[00:52:36] Speaker B: That's so dumb.
Everyone loves cat ears.
[00:52:41] Speaker A: Well, wear them on like a, you know, holiday where it's like, okay, like Halloween.
[00:52:47] Speaker B: I want to wear cat Ears at work. But sometimes it scares the kitties.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: Of course it does.
[00:52:53] Speaker B: And it makes me feel so bad.
[00:53:01] Speaker C: What scared your cat?
[00:53:02] Speaker A: The cat.
[00:53:03] Speaker B: Cat ears.
[00:53:04] Speaker C: Oh, my God. That is funny.
[00:53:07] Speaker B: I feel so bad. I don't like it when I scare my patience.
[00:53:12] Speaker A: But yeah. So lawmakers just left the bill pending in committee.
For my committee, the Furries act is a forbidding Elephant king.
The Elephant King with the committee.
What?
[00:53:30] Speaker B: The Elephant King with the committee song.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: I have no idea what you're talking about. The elephant king.
[00:53:38] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:53:39] Speaker B: With the committee song.
[00:53:42] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:53:43] Speaker A: The Elephant king with the committee song.
[00:53:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:53:52] Speaker A: Babar.
[00:53:52] Speaker B: Yes.
Oh, my God. Invalidated.
[00:53:59] Speaker A: Okay, wait.
[00:54:02] Speaker B: Have either of you seen Babar?
[00:54:04] Speaker A: No.
[00:54:04] Speaker B: Why?
You haven't?
[00:54:07] Speaker A: No, it's.
[00:54:09] Speaker C: Yeah, it's really cute. I. I saw it when I was with you.
[00:54:14] Speaker B: Wait, so why did I have it? Neither of you did growing up.
[00:54:18] Speaker C: It was on PBS or whatever.
[00:54:21] Speaker A: Okay, so pbs. Why is outside playing.
[00:54:24] Speaker C: What is it called again?
[00:54:25] Speaker A: Babar.
[00:54:26] Speaker C: Babar.
[00:54:27] Speaker A: B A B I R.
Okay.
[00:54:32] Speaker B: It was cute. There were lots of good colors.
[00:54:35] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe we'll check it out later.
But so, yeah, the. The bill would, you know, prevent using a litter box to relieve yourself wearing non human accessories such as tails, leashes, collars, like that.
Hissing and licking oneself for grooming.
[00:55:00] Speaker B: That's amazing.
I have groomed myself more than once.
[00:55:05] Speaker A: Prevent, like, fur, animal ears, items not historically designed for humans.
You know, you can't bark, meow, or hiss, and you can't create an organization or a club related to non human behavior or promoting the belief that non human behaviors are socially acceptable.
[00:55:29] Speaker B: That's where it's up.
[00:55:32] Speaker A: I mean, if you think this is up.
[00:55:35] Speaker B: No, this is isolization and punishment.
Those are the words I wanted. Ostracization.
[00:55:41] Speaker A: You know, what's really up is starting here in June. If you cannot speak good enough English as a truck driver, put it out of service.
[00:55:50] Speaker B: Doesn't that make you happy?
[00:55:53] Speaker A: No. Spanish speakers are really good truck drivers.
[00:55:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God, you're such a hypocrite. Just move on.
[00:56:00] Speaker A: No, like, I. I don't like criminals here, but if you're here, you know, legally, and you know, you just don't speak good English. Like, I've met, you know, people that are here legally, they just don't speak great English.
[00:56:13] Speaker B: Do you think children who have cancer should be deported?
[00:56:17] Speaker A: Yeah, we don't want to see that sad shit. Get them out of here.
[00:56:21] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:56:22] Speaker A: Like, send them to like some vacation land.
[00:56:24] Speaker C: I knew you were gonna say something really shitty.
[00:56:27] Speaker A: How is that shitty? Send her to someplace that's awesome. You know, send him to fucking like Costa Rica. That way they can, you know, you know, have like fine, you know, Latina bitches, like rubbing their booty on him and maybe he fucking gets cured. Maybe he's like, oh, hell yeah, life's worth living again. You know, Latina bitches and their big ass booties.
[00:56:46] Speaker B: Oh my God. I was literally thinking when I went to the bathroom after you took that to disaster shit, that maybe the smell of it would kill my ringworm. Yeah, cuz I have ringworm on the inside of my fucking nose.
[00:56:59] Speaker A: That's gross.
[00:57:01] Speaker B: But it is gross.
[00:57:03] Speaker C: Wait, what?
[00:57:04] Speaker B: I have ringworm on the inside of my nose.
[00:57:06] Speaker A: So what does ringworm smell like?
[00:57:08] Speaker B: It doesn't smell like anything. But the ringworm cream smells like diaper rash, but like sweet with like honey.
[00:57:16] Speaker C: Ew, please stop.
[00:57:17] Speaker A: Okay, that's gross. But you know, another news. In other news, Luigi Mangione's musical sells out.
[00:57:24] Speaker B: Wait, did you killed the insurance guy is a musical?
[00:57:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:57:28] Speaker B: Whoa, that's amazing.
[00:57:31] Speaker A: Musical inspired by the alleged murderer Luigi Mangione is set to premiere next month and tickets for the show have already completely sold out. What?
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Oh my God. Like they made like a stage?
[00:57:44] Speaker A: Yes, like a stage, like show musical. I wouldn't go see this, but Luigi the Musical well, will debut on June 13th in San Francisco. Damn.
[00:57:56] Speaker B: Damn.
[00:57:59] Speaker A: If it only to be a little bit later and we'd have tickets.
[00:58:02] Speaker B: I know.
[00:58:05] Speaker A: There are five days for the musical lifted listed on the website, which are all sold out.
It'll run for 60 minutes. It'll be billed for those 16 or older.
Hell yeah. I hope like a bunch of this money goes to helping Luigi. I know it won't, but you know, it's a nice thought.
[00:58:27] Speaker C: Oh my God, my dad's so happy. They're trying to go for the death penalty with them. It's so stupid. Why is your dad happy killing?
[00:58:36] Speaker B: Like, because he lives off health insurance.
[00:58:42] Speaker C: It's like, like situation. Seriously, some of the stuff on there I just don't get and like he just does not. He is.
[00:58:56] Speaker A: As a hardcore 247 like.
[00:58:59] Speaker C: Fox News and like he is online now watching YouTube videos and they're a ton of political view. You know that one Republican, like YouTuber or Podcaster or whatever. And she goes around trying to interview people and like they roast her because in college she accidentally got really drunk and herself.
[00:59:24] Speaker A: Which one is this?
[00:59:27] Speaker C: You really don't know?
[00:59:34] Speaker B: So she goes around trying to roast people who know they herself.
[00:59:39] Speaker C: Let me see. Let Me, I'm gonna look it up to see if I can figure out her name, but she's on YouTube and like, Ah, themselves.
[00:59:53] Speaker B: Everyone shut themselves though.
[00:59:55] Speaker A: I've shot myself.
[00:59:56] Speaker C: Yeah, but like, it was like a log coming out.
[01:00:02] Speaker B: Oh, now that's different.
[01:00:05] Speaker A: If you're shooting yourself with a log.
[01:00:07] Speaker B: Mm.
[01:00:08] Speaker A: As a sober person, you're fucked. Okay? Like. Like, if you. If liquid comes out your butthole, you know? Okay, fine.
[01:00:15] Speaker B: It's fine. You didn't have a choice.
[01:00:18] Speaker A: Like, sometimes your ass just gives you, like, fucking 30 seconds. And Lynn lies and.
[01:00:23] Speaker B: No, your ass is like, this has to go now. Your entire body is like, evacuate this shit.
[01:00:28] Speaker A: Like, your body's like, 30, 20, 10, 0.
[01:00:32] Speaker B: Yeah, no, your body gave you a countdown.
[01:00:34] Speaker A: It's like.
[01:00:35] Speaker B: What?
[01:00:35] Speaker A: You said 30 seconds.
[01:00:37] Speaker B: That was 30 seconds ago.
[01:00:38] Speaker A: It's like, oh, I'm bad at counting. Sorry. You're shitting yourself now.
[01:00:43] Speaker B: What if it took, like, 30 seconds to say the word 30 seconds?
[01:00:48] Speaker A: I mean, you can say it in 30 seconds.
[01:00:50] Speaker B: I know you can drag it out like.
[01:00:52] Speaker A: Like anytime. Like, I have, like, diarrhea come in. It's like, you got 30 seconds. I'm like, 29, 28. You know, like, it speeds. I'm like, whoa, whoa. Hurry.
[01:01:03] Speaker B: I love the cupcakes at work.
I was going to bring home more cupcakes. I saw the sprinkles on the floor and that made me think of the cupcakes I loved at work.
They were pink and blue colored and they had unicorn sprinkles on them.
[01:01:20] Speaker A: All right.
[01:01:21] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[01:01:24] Speaker A: Couple more. Yeah, couple more stories. Eric Adams, the mayor of New York City. As for photos of cops staring at their phones and New Yorkers deliver.
[01:01:37] Speaker B: Everyone looks at their phone on the clock. Everyone does.
[01:01:41] Speaker A: So, you know, Mayor Eric Adams was fed up with seeing cops staring at their phones instead of patrolling the subway.
And he apparently went out and was like, hey, send me a shot of people, you know, cops on their phones. And a bunch of New Yorkers just came through.
[01:02:02] Speaker B: Yeah, because cops.
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
[01:02:07] Speaker A: NYPD just like, on their phone. I'm like, good job. It's just embarrassing them to just like, hey, get off your phone. Or just like, make it to where your phone just doesn't work.
[01:02:18] Speaker B: Yeah, there's like, work mode for phones and shit, which is what I have. My phone does not. The only noise my phone ever makes when I'm at work is my alarms to take meds. Everything else straight to silent. You call me, you're going straight to voicemail. My phone does not go off when.
[01:02:35] Speaker A: I'm at work, so two more stories and we'll. We'll wrap this on up.
Jail locks down after convicted killer goes missing for 12 hours. Then cops realize they forgot him at the courthouse.
[01:02:48] Speaker B: And people wonder why other people hate cops.
[01:02:50] Speaker A: Cops are dumb. Inmate was left overnight in a holding cell after a miscommunication between officers, causing the jail to lock down.
And I don't feel like this guy's much of a threat.
Clayton county and fucking Georgia went into lockdown after officers cannot find a missing inmate who is convicted of murder. Only. The. Only for the cops to discover that they left the inmate at the courthouse holding cell overnight.
I mean, that. I guarantee you now this guy is probably gonna fucking get off on some shit.
[01:03:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, no, now he's got shit to be. He's got leverage now.
[01:03:29] Speaker A: You know, Julian, Bruce, Brooks, the Loach, Deloche, Deloitte. It's not the Lord, it's just.
[01:03:39] Speaker B: I know, but it was so fun to say it that way.
[01:03:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I, like. I kind of like, want to see like, this guy.
[01:03:44] Speaker B: He looks like his name should be like Logan or Bill.
[01:03:48] Speaker A: It's like, hi, I'm Bill.
[01:03:49] Speaker B: You know, Julian.
[01:03:52] Speaker A: Julian who? Julian. But, yeah, so, you know, it's not like he was running around, but.
Yeah, I want to know how long that he was missing at the jail where they're like, where is he? Where is he? Where is. And you know who is fired for this?
[01:04:14] Speaker B: I want to know if he's shot in the cell.
[01:04:16] Speaker A: No, there's like a bathroom in the cell.
The holding cells can still yourself.
Well, the. The holding cells have sinks.
[01:04:26] Speaker B: No, it says they do not have holding cells.
[01:04:29] Speaker A: Do not have beds. Only benches, sinks, and toilets.
[01:04:32] Speaker B: Okay.
[01:04:33] Speaker A: They're also unsupervised after court hours.
[01:04:38] Speaker B: So he didn't. So he wasn't smart enough to escape.
[01:04:41] Speaker A: No. You're still locked in a cell.
The sheriff estimated the Loach was discovered around 7am the next morning, meaning he's in the holding cell around 12 to 13 hours.
As a result of the mix up, Allen is suggesting the two correctional sergeants be demoted and that the two deputies assigned to the court division be suspended.
Oh, man. No one's gonna get fired.
[01:05:10] Speaker B: Well, no, cops protect cops.
[01:05:13] Speaker A: The sheriff told WSBTV that three of the officers have waived their rights to the hearings and accepted their punishment.
Yeah, good. Good for those officers for accepting their.
Yeah, I guarantee you that. You know, he's gonna have a story to tell, but here's our Florida story to wrap this all up. Kentucky man who had won the Powerball jackpot lands in Florida jail days after.
Yeah, I don't know what it is about having money, but going to Florida and going to jail is like, you know, on your mind, but, you know. A Kentucky Powerball winner was arrested and charged with kicking a police officer in Florida after he had won a hundred and sixty seven million dollar jackpot. James S. Farthing.
[01:06:03] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's a great last name.
[01:06:04] Speaker A: Who goes by Sharon Shannon. Shannon found out Sunday that he'd won the state's biggest ever jackpot after his mother called him, according to the media release from the Kentucky Lottery. The lottery said that Farthing and his mother were splitting the winnings, but Farthing, 50, was in Florida jail by midweek. According to the media reports, he had been arrested with battery of a police officer and resisting arrest after a county sheriff deputy was attempting to break up a fight between Farthing and another person in a hotel when Farthing kicked the officer in the face. Holy.
According.
[01:06:44] Speaker B: He was that flexible about 50.
[01:06:47] Speaker A: Yeah, that's good. According to a police report written Tuesday, the officer told Farthing to turn around and put his hands behind his back, but Farthing attempted to flee.
Farthing was booked into jail early Wednesday morning and remains in custody Friday, according to the county's online jail records.
[01:07:04] Speaker B: So why were they arresting him in the first place?
[01:07:07] Speaker A: Because he was getting a fight at a hotel. Oh, and they like, you know, came to break up.
[01:07:13] Speaker B: Oh, so there was a melee.
[01:07:15] Speaker A: Melee, melee.
The. Am I the. Is. Am I the. For telling a friend exactly why my wife and I wouldn't go on a trip with her?
Probably, you know, your friend was like, you know, being a. And no, you're probably not the asshole.
And how do I, 42 female, tell my husband, 42 male of 15 years, I want a divorce now that he's less of an asshole?
Pretty much. They went up and down. I actually read this story and they had like a kind of tumultuous relationship but got through it for 15 years. She got sick, thought it was cancer. Then he fucking turned into like Superman and, you know, was like, good to her after, like kind of being abusive for many years. And now she's less like, okay, it's good, but I don't want you to go back to being an asshole, so I'm gonna leave you now.
[01:08:18] Speaker B: That's a really sad relationship.
[01:08:19] Speaker A: It is a sad relationship, yes.
[01:08:22] Speaker C: Maybe she just needs to go to. They probably should try therapy. No, just, I mean, even individual therapy because, like going through a Death experience, where you experience death like that and then all of a sudden you're gonna live. Like, it's like sometimes when stuff happens, like you should be careful and wait a week before you do it or a certain amount of time where. Yeah, you know, you. If you are going to regret your decision, you're. You'll. You'll be able to just wait on it, you know, I mean, I mean.
[01:08:58] Speaker A: The husband's friend died of suicide and he just. I kind of became rude. And then 20, 22, she got sick. She's scared it was cancer, but the test came back cle, you know, and now, you know, she's doing a whole lot better. She moved in the guest bedroom to get better sleep.
He refused to treat his apnea and blamed me for not getting into the sleep, you know, clinic number.
She stopped hanging out with him and.
[01:09:37] Speaker B: So their relationship was already over.
[01:09:38] Speaker A: Yeah, the relationship's over.
[01:09:41] Speaker B: She deserves better.
[01:09:42] Speaker A: You know, time to move on.
[01:09:44] Speaker B: It's gonna suck to go to therapy and work on himself.
[01:09:47] Speaker A: Yeah, he'll be a bit. Yeah, you're 42, you know, time.
[01:09:49] Speaker B: You're never too late for therapy.
[01:09:52] Speaker A: Time to move on. It's gonna suck.
Phrases effect. Now, as a question, when I told my ex husband I was leaving, I. I said, I'm not going to be your wife anymore. I'm going to be moving out. An X date, you know, so. Yeah, do that.
But that's it.
[01:10:08] Speaker C: I don't know. Now that you know that the reason why he was a dick was because he lost a friend.
Like death. I mean, it was grieving as hard on people.
[01:10:19] Speaker A: It was before he lost a friend too.
[01:10:22] Speaker C: Okay.
[01:10:25] Speaker A: You know, he's always been a bit entitled financially. I make more. I do 80 of the housework. He does his laundry. I do mine. Plus sheets, towels, and anything joint he takes out the dry. You know, so different relationship or different religion and. Yeah, I mean, just state it as a fact. Leave and, you know, restart. It's fine. It sucks. 15 years is a long time to invest and someone would walk away, but, you know, think about the time you got to have walk away sucks.
But with that, we're gonna go ahead and end this episode.
Thank you all so much for being here and we will be back next week with some more of the same old, same old and no Momo.
[01:11:12] Speaker B: Asmr.
[01:11:13] Speaker A: Do you want to, you know, say some stuff? Mo.
There you go.
[01:11:22] Speaker B: It's important.
[01:11:25] Speaker A: And yeah, so follow me on Instagram. Whatever. Alex, a truck. I'm everywhere. Alex, a truck. If you see Alex Truck? That's me. All right, bye.
