Banging The Roommate

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty everybody. Welcome to another week of the Human podcast. We're here again. Still haven't died, even though the snow is trying to kill me out here in Colorado. I am your host, Alex. The truck. We got my wife over here. Not the truck, not the truck. We got Courtney from across the land. [00:00:22] Speaker B: Yep. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Stoned. [00:00:24] Speaker B: I know, right? I need to, I need to get. [00:00:27] Speaker A: Stoned a little bit, you know, fucking take a few puffs of the vape, you know, it's fine. You're living in California, hang loose. Like, I'm surprised everyone around LA did not get immediately baked when the fires came out. Like, I'm sure like a hundred million pounds of weed just got burnt, you know, in people's apartments. And just like all the firefighters really just like too high. Like, dude, I can't figure out how to turn on the, the thingy for the water, man. And like that. That's why LA burnt down. Like all the fire hydrants had water. Like they're just too stone because they were getting high on second hand smoke. [00:01:11] Speaker B: Oh my God. Well, no, they weren't able, they weren't able to handle being on for the grid in a certain area. They weren't able to be on at the same time. It's only meant for like one emergency at a time. [00:01:28] Speaker A: I was making a joke, but that's even worse. It's like, hey, guess what? We can only do one fire hydrant at a time. You know, if you turn on two, then they both shut off. I mean like, let LA burn. Like, what are you going to lose? You know, just like, you know, I'm surprised. California is not two states, you know, you should just like make like, you know, once one half of it is movies and the other half is weed. And like they trade, you know, it's like, hey, we'll give you movies if you give us weed and we'll give you weed if you give us movies like that. That's the only thing California is actually known for. Movies. [00:02:11] Speaker C: Whatever happened to the state of Jefferson? [00:02:14] Speaker A: There is so many Colorado right now is looking at seceding from Colorado. So anything above Monument Hill? No, like this is a real thing that's, you know, looking to happen. Like anything above, like Monument, you know, north is looking to just get absorbed, you know, in like surrounding absorbed in. [00:02:38] Speaker B: Really? [00:02:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Why? [00:02:41] Speaker A: Because our governor is a dumb ass. [00:02:46] Speaker C: So Denver's looking to secede? [00:02:49] Speaker A: No, we, we just don't want anything to do with Denver. [00:02:52] Speaker C: Oh well, no one wants anything to do with Denver. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Like Denver, Aurora, all those surrounding Areas is like a cancer. Instead of cutting it out, we're just gonna cut ourselves out of it and just be like, there you go. There, that's Colorado. And Colorado will just be like Denver, Aurora, and it'll be the most violent, homeless ridden state ever that has nothing going for it. And then people are going to move out in mass and it's like, yeah, and this is going to be Jared Polis's whole legacy, you know, like. Like, I hate Jared Polis. And, you know, if you are in the queer community, you should hate him as well because he has pushed that community back so far, you know, and not because he's gay and he made a bunch of bad laws. It's because of the laws that he decided to sign onto. So, like, if, if, you know you're going through like a divorce with your wife and you have kids, your wife can just lie to the courts and say, hey, my ex husband dead named our daughter and she's trans and I want all of its parental rights taken away. They'll do it. They'll just be like, okay. Yep. He can't ever see, you know, your daughter ever again. And the kid can be sitting there like, mommy, I'm a boy. What the are you even talking about? I'm 13. And it's like, nope, this is what happened. [00:04:28] Speaker B: Yep. [00:04:30] Speaker A: And then on top of that, you know, if anyone that they made it to where if you dead, name somebody or misgender them, you, like, you could sue a business off of it if you work there, walk in, whatever. And I'm all for my trans friends, you know, I'm all for them having all their rights, but, you know, giving people ammunition to sue each other is not the way to go about it. Yeah, you know, be like, hey, we can, we can take away your money. We can take away, you know, all your. And you know, it's pushing people out of Colorado. I mean, I'm not moving because I already paid for my goddamn house. But you know, every. Everybody else is like, yeah, no, I ain't doing this. And on top of it all, people are gonna start homeschooling their kids. Yeah. No, it's gonna be a huge thing. Like, you know, like I, I should, you know, get it, know, get into that business where, you know, either a, you know, private schools are going to start popping up, you know, around Colorado like crazy, where the government can't touch anything in that school and they can, you know, pick and choose who gets into the school and be very picky. That conservatives only and, you know, Know, they can be like, you know, conservative private school, and they can just call it cps, you know, like, just make fun of them. [00:06:16] Speaker B: My tenant, the tenant that lives here, she. Her kids have missed a ton of school. They haven't gone to school at all this week. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Is it only like a week? [00:06:29] Speaker B: No, like, it was even the week before that too. Like before spring break and stuff. And like, they've missed a. A ton of school. Like, they, they got the third strike already. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure. [00:06:42] Speaker B: It's like they're trying to get her. Yeah, they've come out already already. Like, they. That's how much school they missed. And like. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, school in general, you know, is a scam, you know, it. It is an indoctrination program, you know, ran by the government to, you know, get your kids to, you know, shut up and listen. That's it. That's all they want. Shut up, listen, do what we tell you. Believe what we tell you. And then that way when you grow up, you're like, okay, yep, shut up. Listen. Do what the government tells me. Listen to what the government tells me. You know, don't question anything. You know, they don't encourage critical thought at all, you know, but like, I, I feel like there's only like a very few amount of people that have true critical thought, you know, like. Oh, yeah, like, people will just like, watch. Like, like, I, I am guilty of this. We're all, you know, watch like my, you know, right wing propaganda for the day. I'm like, yeah, Trump is awesome. And he, he's not doing anything bad. I'm sure he's doing some bad stuff. You know, realistically, I'm sure Trump is, you know, you know, kind of bad. But of the two options we had, you know, I'd rather go with Trump because I knew what Kamala stood for. But let's get into. Oh, my gosh. Jesus Christ. Like, like I pulled up a news story and then it immediately, like, you know, forwarded me to the FSU shooting, which is horrible. I. I feel bad for all those people over there in Florida, but it's like the only reason you go to Florida is to identify your dead kid, so, you know, it stands true. But American doctor receives email from immigration officials telling her to leave the country immediately. Lisa Anderson, which is the most white name in the world. A 58 year old woman born in Pennsylvania, full on US citizen. But it, you know, she received an email from federal immigration authorities demanding that she leave the country immediately. I don't think that's how that works. But yeah, she, she from the Department of Homeland Security. That's, that's not who, you know, actually does that, you know, telling her it's time for you to leave the United States. That that's what the letter says. Yeah. This is a scam and she's just dumb. Like it, it doesn't, you know, show a screenshot of it or anything. Yeah, I, I feel like she screwed somebody over and now someone's with her because they got her email. But immigration authorities have been pushing non citizens to leave on their own volition or self deport, you know, like I, I, I enjoy it when people want to come to America. It's a great country if you get your green card and get your, you know, citizenship out here. Awesome. I've had a few friends that have done that, that it's, it's not an easy task to do and sometimes, you know, your country is dangerous and ah, man, that sucks that you were born in that country. But you know, come over here legally. But yeah, like this lady is the whitest. Like it's almost your mom, Courtney. Oh my God, it is almost your mom. Like if your mom was like so white. I know, like if your mom was like a librarian with like glasses and like a perpetual frown like this, this is like, it looks nothing like your mom but it, you know, except for skin color. Yeah, she, she would not survive a minute even in Mexico. Like, like drop her off in like a nice place like Mazatlan and she'd be dead, this poor lady. Hopefully it's just like a, you know, up and like whoopsie daisy. We just send out a bunch. Well, that one wants money. No, I'm not giving you money, like has like pop ups. It's like, hey, off give us money. But you can kind of see the, you know, whole news story in the back. Next story. I, I love these Families displaced after fatal house explosion. Like was it deadly for the house or for the people inside? It was obviously the people inside. Like if you see this house, it's just, it's not a house, it's just a pile of rubble. But in Nottinghamshire, like I swear, like the fucking British, like they don't know how to name anything. This is why they lost the war. Nottinghamshire, Jesus Christ. The body of a 53 year old man later named by police as David Howard was recovered under debris and a man was suspected on suspicion of murder, he said. Most of the residents who were evacuated returned to their homes on Sunday evening and Monday morning. However, people from 14 households still cannot return to their homes and continue to be supported by either local authority, their insurers or landlords. And so, like this house fucking exploded the fuck up. Let me share it with you. That way you can see what I'm talking about. There you go. [00:13:21] Speaker B: Alrighty. Wow. [00:13:25] Speaker A: Yeah, like the entire house is gone and I didn't even know, you know, the UK had anything that could even do that. But yeah. 43 year old was arrested on suspicion of murder following the explosion, has been questioned and bailed pending further investigation. Like, I want to know what the explosion was. Was it a gas? [00:13:57] Speaker B: It? Yeah, I don't know. [00:14:05] Speaker A: And it doesn't even say what the explosion was like. Like, that's like the worst. It's like when it's like, yeah, whatever. See, Nottinghamshire explosion. You know what caused it? No, BBC. Yeah, they're, they're, they're still doing, yeah, they're still doing research into what ex, you know, made it go boom. Yeah. The cause of the explosion remains unclear and officers are keeping an open mind. You know, only one 53 year old dude was dead. I'm sure they were building something that they were not supposed to be building and as a consequence, boom. Shit hits the fan. Yeah, I mean, I, I knew a dude back in the day, they were making dabs. Like, have you ever done like weed dabs or anything like that? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, he was making weed dabs, like using butane and shit and it like caught fire and then it hit like the rest of the butane cans and he had like a shit ton and it blew it all up. Took the top of the house off and everything. And you know, he is all kinds of fucked up. And, you know, then he was like on house arrest in a different house. Like, yeah, I got in trouble for making dabs and blowing out my house. I'm like, yeah, that's, that's what you get for being dumb. You know, he's also missing a nipple too. Like, I made him show me that. I'm like, yo, let me see. Like, first time ever meeting him, he's like, I'm missing the nipple. I'm like, no, you, you can't be like, I'm missing a nipple and not show that dude. Fucking show them nips. Yeah, I was missing a nipple. [00:16:30] Speaker C: Was he born without it or did it have to be surgically removed? [00:16:32] Speaker A: No, it was from the fucking explosion. Like got burnt off. [00:16:37] Speaker C: No, the guy you met with the missing nipple. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Yeah, there was the dude that fucking blew up his house. The dude with a Missing nipple. Fucking got his nipple blown off. Well, got like a bunch of them burnt off, you know, in like a fucking huge ass fireball. You turned his entire house into an oven for like a half second. But let's go to the next story. So, hey, Courtney, have you ever had ligma? [00:17:14] Speaker B: What's that? [00:17:15] Speaker A: Ligma balls. [00:17:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:17:19] Speaker A: So Ligma could be recognized as a medical condition thanks to one man's rare disease. So Ligma's been used as a joke. You know, lick my balls, lick my dick. You know, all kinds of. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I heard about that. I was wondering what the significance was. I had no idea it was a dirty joke, but quite honestly, half the time, it's always a dirty joke. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Every time, it's a dirty joke with me. But a fan of the H3 podcast phoned in to ask Ethan Klein to help him name his rare genetic condition after being approached to do so by the National Institute of Health. On April 11, a caller named Typo was featured as a special guest where he described his unique genetic disorder. A once in a lifetime opportunity it's giving him. Typo explained that he's been ill for most of his life, but it was only properly diagnosed after going to the hospital. When he began to feel especially sick five years ago after getting a full blood workout, doctors said he had stage four cancer. But eight biopsies and several invasive, invasive surgeries later, it was actually determined Typo was aging differently due to an s issue with his telomeres. T E L O M E R E S. I don't know what that was. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Telomeres. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Telomeres. Yeah. Don't know what a telomere is. And they give, like, a brief thing. Not. Not gonna even look at that. I don't care. I'm not looking to become smarter. So apparently, you know, now he is, like, the first guy with this disease. And they're like, what should we name it? He's like, ligma. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:19:34] Speaker A: And, you know, somebody else said Benjamin Button's cancer disease. But Ligma was like, the top of the potential names for his disease. And hopefully, oh, a panel of doctors will have to say yay or nay to the Ligma. I hope those doctors do not have fun ever. And they're like, yeah, ligament's fine. And like, this dude just gets to go around, be like, no, I really have Ligma. And it becomes a real disease, and people have to take it seriously now. Oh, this will make me happy. Oh, no, I've drinking all My beers. That's like the worst. [00:20:21] Speaker C: It is the worst. [00:20:24] Speaker A: Where you, like, go for your beer and you're like, I'm gonna take another sip. And it's like, empty. It's like, no, but then you flick. [00:20:30] Speaker C: Your eyes and then there's like two more empties next to it, and you're like, no. [00:20:35] Speaker A: It's like when you're at the movie theater and you're, like, eating popcorn. You're like, man, I'm thirsty. [00:20:40] Speaker C: Will you hand me my be? Did you just try to open that with your bare hand? [00:20:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought it was a twist off. [00:20:54] Speaker C: Why on earth would it be? No, what happened to the little thingy I had on your mini fridge? [00:20:59] Speaker A: I don't know. You probably took it off and never put it back. [00:21:01] Speaker C: This is not my fault. [00:21:03] Speaker A: Probably is. Yeah. [00:21:04] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Don't worry about it. Put it back in the fridge. [00:21:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Watch this. Ow. [00:21:13] Speaker C: I told you to put it back in the fridge. No, I had a beer opener that was shape of a beer and it had palm trees on, and it was like blue and sparkly and it was on your mini fridge. [00:21:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah, once upon a time. [00:21:30] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Put that back in the fridge. I don't need you bleeding all over yourself halfway through the podcast. [00:21:38] Speaker A: I'll find something that'll open it. Don't you worry about that. [00:21:42] Speaker C: What should I be worried about then? I think the phrase were like, don't you worry about that. And I was like, okay, well, then what should I be worried about? [00:21:53] Speaker A: Me getting ligma. [00:21:54] Speaker C: Oh, my God, you don't have it. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Oh, not because it's genetic. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Well, not yet. I, I, I could get it, sure. But, but on to the next story. Republican governor candidate proposes female undocumented immigrants can stay if they marry incels. And if you're not familiar with what an incel is, it's involuntarily celibate. These people. [00:22:31] Speaker C: That's what that sounds for. [00:22:32] Speaker A: Yes, that sounds. That's what that stands for. [00:22:34] Speaker C: I thought that meant, like, in cells. Like, they should be in prison, like in cells. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Nope. Involuntary involuntarily celibate. They're the dudes that have neck beards. Where fedora is my lady. I'm a nice guy. You know, those types of dudes, you know, the ones that, you know, I, I call them the unfuckables. And, you know, that's exactly what they are. [00:22:58] Speaker C: That's literally what they are. [00:22:59] Speaker A: You're brilliant and, yeah, like just these, you know, loser dudes that Will never get no. That they didn't pay for. And you know, that's fine. I swear I'm gonna, like, find something. [00:23:21] Speaker C: Oh my God. Just put it back in the fridge. [00:23:27] Speaker A: I'm like, I. I have something and I just didn't want to use it. [00:23:33] Speaker C: What do you mean you just didn't want to use it? Oh my God. Is that. What? Is that what I got you for Valentine's? Yeah, it's fine. [00:23:42] Speaker A: It's a spatula. But like, this is why I don't want to use it. Because I'm like, I'm not sure if. [00:23:46] Speaker C: You haven't even used it once, it's still in the packaging. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Well, cuz you don't need to. You just take the plate off and peel it off. Oh my God, the plates. Flexible. [00:23:57] Speaker C: I know. Well, that was the thing you complained about the most, so I thought I solved a problem for you. And you haven't even used it once. [00:24:04] Speaker A: I've used the other things. [00:24:06] Speaker C: Fine. [00:24:13] Speaker A: There we go. Look at that. Your husband is solving issues. [00:24:24] Speaker C: I am in awe of your resourcefulness. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Yeah, like, like this is why men survive, like zombie apocalypses and movies. And you don't see like that many women around. Like any zombie apocalypse movie. Like, you'll see like a hundred fucking dudes. It'll be a sausage party. And it's like, where is the women? And every dude has the same story. My wife died in the zombie apocalypse. Every single one. My wife is dead. She's so dead. It's. It's like, well, you know, why, why did she die? Well, she ran into the arms of like, her zombie baby because she thought it was like her baby. And it's like, so your wife thought that her son was, you know, still alive. [00:25:08] Speaker C: And when he celebrated too soon. [00:25:12] Speaker A: It'S like, yeah, the sun was like, sitting there, like, making zombie noises. It's like, yeah, she. She killed herself. [00:25:20] Speaker C: What's a baby zombie noise? Like the Minecraft. [00:25:25] Speaker A: I mean, I imagine like, like slow, slow crying. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Please stop. That sounds so annoying. [00:25:39] Speaker A: Yeah, like even more annoying than like normal babies, right? [00:25:42] Speaker B: Yeah, like really. [00:25:46] Speaker C: Oh my God. I can't stand the sounds of baby crying. [00:25:50] Speaker A: I. I can't stand the silence of baby crying when I can't get away from it. Like that. That's the worst. Like when you're on a plane and like there, there's like a baby crying. [00:26:01] Speaker C: It's like, yeah, because the baby's on a plane. He has no idea what's going on. Okay. I'm quite honestly, I'm perfectly fine with babies crying on planes because they have absolutely no idea what's going on. [00:26:14] Speaker A: How about this? If your mother. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Not that. So it's not, that's not the reason why they're crying. Like is it like because of the air pressure? [00:26:22] Speaker C: Yeah, like they don't, they're insane. [00:26:25] Speaker B: They need to be given Tylenol when they go on planes because they're in like it's happened to me. It's so, like, it hurts so bad. [00:26:35] Speaker A: But did you cry? [00:26:37] Speaker B: I take like quite honestly. Yeah, I did. [00:26:42] Speaker A: Silent tears at least. [00:26:44] Speaker B: Yeah, it was really shitty. It's miserable. Like and like it lasted afterwards too. Like so it sucks. They need to be given some type of like antihistamine and like pain reliever before they get on the plane because that's what I do. I take certain Mucinex because it has an antihistamine to help with like my EUCN tubes so that they don't get irritated. And I take a pain reliever and I also take. Because my ears get fucked up. I also take anti nausea medication now. That's what I had to do on the way to Puerto Rico. [00:27:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, yeah, the trip to Puerto Rico is kind of a whole ass nightmare. There's a hurricane. We had to like stay in New York. [00:27:41] Speaker C: Yeah, the weather definitely that was out of our control. [00:27:46] Speaker A: I mean like I, I kind of, you know, I, I, I, I'm like, you know, thinking like what's the next vacation going to be? And I'm thinking like Japan or something like that. Go to Tokyo for two weeks. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Wait, what? You're going to go to Tokyo? [00:28:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, we're bringing you. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Oh, when, when are you guys planning on going? [00:28:10] Speaker A: Well, I mean like this is just like, like back and napkin right now. So like, wow, you know, like originally it was going to be Japan, but then covet hit and everyone turned into a giant. Like you can't come here and now everyone's like, you're wearing a mask still. What a. It's like pick a lane. [00:28:36] Speaker B: Yep. Oh my. [00:28:40] Speaker A: You know, like I, I bought masks because I'm like I, I had to because I don't want to wear their stupid silly ass masks on dumb. And now it's just like I have like a bunch of them just sitting there. It upsets me and I, I, I have a feeling like if this ever happens again like in our lifetime, like we're just, no one's going to take it seriously like the, the amount that no one took covet seriously the first time, it's Gonna get even worse the second I'm like, oh, we have another Covid. A flu. Sook my dick. It was like a bigger flu. So. All right, so more than a dozen candidates have announced that they're running for the California governor Gavin Newsom's job in 2026. Oh, Jesus Christ. Among the six Republicans. So this is for you, Courtney. Who have so far launched their campaigns is an unmarried Catholic construction manager, Kyle Langford. [00:30:01] Speaker C: Of course, his name's Kyle. [00:30:04] Speaker A: As seen before, Langford spoke, spoke about his pro deportation stance on the podcast and said he'd like to see all male undocumented immigrants in the US deported. He also proposed having that female undocumented immigrants should be given a year to consider marrying a California incel to avoid deportation. Let's see. [00:30:28] Speaker D: I am pro deportation. You know, I, I want like, I was thinking too, like first off, deport like all the men and then for the women, like, maybe you'll have like a one year time to like marry. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Oh, are you one of these? Only, only keep the big booty Latinas here. Shane. [00:30:46] Speaker D: I don't know about that. I mean enough people, enough people have told me that I should consider that. To where I'm just saying, I would give them a one year timeline. You know, I'm like, we know who you are. We know where you are. If you marry one of our Californian incels, then. [00:31:03] Speaker C: But if you don't, I get snow. This dude's a incel. [00:31:08] Speaker A: He wants a Mexican wife. Oh, no. So, yeah, Kyle Langford, you know, like, I am a Republican that does not support this guy. You know, he is. And the lady that's interviewing him, oh no, like she is like cringing hard. [00:31:34] Speaker C: She is. [00:31:36] Speaker A: I feel bad for her. Oh, no, no. He's making hearts with his hands. Ah, you have lost the fucking. Just drop out. At this point, my guy, he's got. [00:31:50] Speaker C: The like Clark Kent look going on and it doesn't have flattering. [00:31:53] Speaker A: He doesn't even have that going on. I hate this guy. [00:31:59] Speaker C: Smells creepy. [00:32:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Let's get on to the next story. I, I, I hated every minute of that. I thought it was going to be better. I thought, I thought, I thought like, maybe they like took something out of context and like, well, like that's not what he said at all. Nope, that's 100 what he said, you know, hey, big booty Latina, instead of getting deported, you can come and marry a California and sell. Yeah. [00:32:29] Speaker C: Catholic at that. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like that, that like I, I'm sure this guy's a virgin. [00:32:37] Speaker C: Oh absolutely, yeah. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Ah, but someone that's not a virgin or you know, doesn't want to be a virgin for long. Bride late to her own wedding. Stopped by officer after driving 105 miles an hour and a 45. That just sounds like my wife. [00:32:58] Speaker C: I mean I've driven that fast before. [00:33:01] Speaker A: No you haven't. Yeah, don't even say that. [00:33:06] Speaker B: A driver probably has cuz she's crazy. [00:33:08] Speaker C: Yes. [00:33:11] Speaker A: A driver racing to make it to a wedding near point or Port St. Lucy was pulled over by police after going more than double the speed limit. Going to the chapel on your wedding day is a big moment. However, one bride underestimated how long it would take to get there. Whose wedding is it? The officer asked. It's mine, said the bride, who is riding shotgun. What time is it? It's 2:30. Poor point, Port St. Lucie police pulled over a driver going 105 and a 45. The driver, a wedding guest, was taking the bride to her wedding, which they were nearly. [00:33:53] Speaker C: They were. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Oh my God. You think? [00:33:58] Speaker C: Yes. Oh my God. A guest of the wedding and it's just the two of them in the car. [00:34:12] Speaker A: The, the driver, a wedding guest, was taking the bride to the wet to her wedding, which they're nearly 15 minutes late. You're already late. Said the officer. We're just trying to get there, said the bride. The officer let the two go, but now they have mandatory court appearance. Oh my God, you might be right. [00:34:30] Speaker C: They were totally like, let's pull up. [00:34:36] Speaker A: The fucking video because there is a video of this whole fucking thing and I love this at all times. [00:34:45] Speaker B: Oh wow. [00:34:47] Speaker E: Also on seven, Erica, going to the chapel on your wedding day, of course is a big moment. One bride underestimated just how long it would take to get there. [00:34:56] Speaker A: Whose wedding is it? [00:34:57] Speaker B: It's mine. [00:34:58] Speaker A: What time is it? Oh, he looks guilty. [00:35:02] Speaker C: Yeah, you're already late. Just give me a minute. [00:35:09] Speaker A: I'll let you take her, but I'm gonna give you a court date. I'm gonna. It's a mandatory court appearance. [00:35:15] Speaker E: So get this. Port St. Lucie police clocked a driver going 105 miles an hour in a 45 mile per hour speed zone Friday. Turns out that driver was the wedding guest. The bride, as you see there, riding shotgun. They were already 15 minutes late for the wedding. Police did let the two go, but as you heard, the driver now has a mandatory court appearance. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Dang. [00:35:39] Speaker B: That was hard to dispute. 105. [00:35:40] Speaker E: 105 and a 45. [00:35:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Hopefully she had a beautiful wedding. [00:35:45] Speaker C: That's yeah, they were fucking. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Fucking. He smelled the pussy in the car. [00:35:53] Speaker C: Yes. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Oh, man. Yeah, that. [00:35:57] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:36:01] Speaker A: The guilty look on the dude's face. I got caught. Oh, I'm on body cam. Oh, this. You know, hopefully this doesn't. It's on the news. Oh, yeah. Only got a couple more stories before we get to Am I the. And all that. A Japan bus driver with three decades of service, 30 years of service, loses $84,000 pension after he is caught stealing $7. Lot like, H lost his retirement package of 84,000. You know, he was filmed by the security camera of his bus pilfering a thousand yen in 2022. Yo, he sued the city and lost his case. The verdict was overturned in his favor with the court ruling that the punishment was excessive. But on Thursday, the Supreme Court delivered a final ruling in the city's favor reinstating the original penalty. [00:37:25] Speaker B: What was the penalty again? [00:37:28] Speaker A: The. So he lost $84,000 for stealing $7. [00:37:34] Speaker B: Wow. [00:37:35] Speaker A: I. I feel like he should just, you know, have to pay the $7 out of the 84, 000. Like, I feel like that's fair. Like, it all is fair. It's like, okay, we're good then. [00:37:45] Speaker B: Now it's like, why the would it matter for $7? That is so dumb. [00:37:56] Speaker A: Because he was stealing it from the bus fair. [00:37:59] Speaker C: So he was stealing it from the company. [00:38:01] Speaker A: Yeah, he was stealing it from, like, the city. And, you know, he had worked 30 years to, you know, get his retirement and, you know, lost $84,000. That sucks. [00:38:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:18] Speaker A: Also sucks that you work 30 years and only got $84,000. Like, you should have more than that, bud. Especially in the retirement account. Yeah, like, you should sue Japan for that. And last story before we get on to Am I the. And all that. Let's see. Yeah. Virginia flag banned in Texas district over exposed breasts. So not the entire state of Texas like I thought, but in a Texas. Texas district. And the flag of Virginia is like a woman with one titty out, you know, standing, like, with her leg on a. Let me share the screen with Courtney so she can see what it is. [00:39:11] Speaker B: Yep. Let me see. [00:39:13] Speaker A: So this is the flag. You know, it's a lady. [00:39:23] Speaker C: Standing over the dude she just stabbed. [00:39:27] Speaker A: Yeah. With one titty out because titties are awesome. You know, he's like a king or something like that because he has his crown down here. [00:39:35] Speaker C: Down with the patriarchy and sick. [00:39:39] Speaker B: It's tyranny. Tyranny, tyrannous. So basically, they are down with the tyranny. So basically it's almost the same thing. [00:40:03] Speaker A: The motto, the lesson tells students, thus always to tyrants. But yeah, like, just because it has like one titty out, you know, and it's like, shows like a woman, like winning for some reason. I'm sure this dude is popping a boner. Like, that's why his leg is up. He's like, oh, this is the fucking hottest thing ever. Holy. [00:40:26] Speaker C: Dude likes being dominated. [00:40:28] Speaker A: There's men that like that, you know, I'm not, you know, but you know, It's a Lamar CISD, you know, CI school district. A school district around 30 minutes from Houston last fall removed the section about Virginia from its online learning platform used by third to fifth graders. So, yeah, like, I just censor it a bit, you know, or put, you. [00:40:59] Speaker C: Know, like the, like the stupid tiny black bars. [00:41:02] Speaker A: You know, put a little star over her nipple. Like that's all you have to do. Boom. [00:41:06] Speaker C: Oh my God. Why can't nips be out for third or fifth graders? [00:41:11] Speaker A: I'm like, okay, like, don't show them like porno. [00:41:15] Speaker C: Oh my God. I don't know why nudity is forbidden in this country for children. [00:41:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:21] Speaker C: But this just starts stuff from the beginning. [00:41:26] Speaker A: I. I mean, like, kids are kids. Like the, the amount of time, like I got in trouble for drawing penises in school. Okay. [00:41:36] Speaker C: Which I think is dumb, by the way. As long as you're not like defacing things. [00:41:41] Speaker A: We were doing it on post it. [00:41:43] Speaker C: Notes, which is perfectly fine. [00:41:45] Speaker A: We got in trouble. [00:41:46] Speaker C: Boys are boy. This is Boys will be boys right here. Not like weird, creepy. Creepy like brisky. But like that kind of stuff is just. Yeah, you're kids. Drawing dicks is funny. Everyone draws dicks. [00:42:00] Speaker A: I feel like women don't draw dicks nearly as much. [00:42:03] Speaker C: I mean, I don't draw dicks because I'm not good at drawing. So I don't draw anything. [00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah, no, like that. That's the whole point. Like, no man is good. Like every. For someone that owns something, we're terrible at drawing them. Like, I. I feel like women draw penises, like, way better than men ever could. Like, if I was to go in like Microsoft paint. Like, let, let's see like paint. Let's pull it up. Microsoft. There it is. And you know, just do a couple little shafts and then just go like that. And then ba, bam. And you got yourself a penis. Boom, boom, boom. You know, just draw some hairs all over the. And then you just draw it coming. And it's just lines. Just lines that are coming out of the Penis. Sorry I can't share this with you. [00:43:02] Speaker C: Courtney, Courtney, you don't want to see it. [00:43:04] Speaker A: I promise you, it's a poorly drawn penis. [00:43:08] Speaker C: Why is it a sprinkler? [00:43:10] Speaker A: Because he's coming. He's hard, and he's coming, and it's. [00:43:14] Speaker C: Just going in weird directions. [00:43:15] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. Like, he's old. [00:43:17] Speaker C: Have you ever gotten your own come on your own face? [00:43:23] Speaker A: I'm sure, but the Men in black, you know, fucking probably came in the room, like, right after it happened. Like, they had an alien that was like, did, like, the Minority Report. Like, this man gets come on his own face, and they, like, use the neuralizer to make. Make me forget. I'm like, thanks, guys. We're gonna neuralize you so you forget this moment, and I'm just like. Like, wipe me off and clean me up, and, like, you're gonna be fine. Like, you. You never gotten come on your face. You never got come on your face. Getting come on your face for, you know, or something, and then you just. They, like, fade away. It's like, I've never gotten come on my face, but I'm sure it's happened, like, back when I could, like, come hard, but. But now I'm old. That shit doesn't happen no more. So, yeah, this little school district wants to be a bunch of bitches. You know, let. Let them see, like, second grade titties. Okay? Like, I'm not saying, you know, show them the, you know, whole marching orders. [00:44:35] Speaker C: But, you know, titties out should be fine. They should be normalized. [00:44:43] Speaker A: Now. Now on to Am I the advice and relationship advice. So this is for Emma the asshole. By who? Ouch. Who? Ouch. Am I the. For leaving my uncle stranded a hundred miles from my home after he went on a racist, misogynistic rant in my car? It feel. This happened last week, and I feel like I'm still vibrating with rage. I, 26, female, was driving my uncle, 65, male, you already know. [00:45:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:23] Speaker A: To a family reunion because his car is in the shop and my aunt had other plans. I was doing it as a favor, and I helped him. He helped out a lot when I was a kid. Even though we've grown apart, I figured I could suck it up for a few hours. Big mistake. The second we got on the highway, he started with his usual Fox News style nonsense. At first, I just zoned out because we passed a billboard in Spanish and he went on his rant like, this is America. If you can't read English, get the hell out. I Told him to chill, and he immediately shot back with some garbage about how you can't say anything anymore without the woke mob coming for you. I tried to change the subject, but it got worse. And he started going off about how women these days just want to cry about equality while letting men in dresses take over their sports and how he used to be a strong country before we let the immigrants and feminists ruin it. I told him I wasn't gonna listen to that kind of hate in my car. He left and told me I was being emotional, and this is why women shouldn't be in charge of anything serious. I pulled over at the next rest stop and told him to get out. And when he realized I was serious, he called me a disrespectful little girl. I told him, better a disrespectful girl, then hateful old man, and I drove off. He was stranded for four hours before some family friend picked him up. Now half the family is furious with me. My mom says I embarrassed the whole family. My cousin texted me, calling me a liberal snowflake. My aunt blocked me. Apparently, he was visibly shaken when he. When he arrived, he had to spend the whole ride spewing poison. But here's the thing. I'm not sorry. I don't care if you're family. I don't care if you're from a different time. If you talk about people that are less than human. You don't deserve the comfort of my car, my time, or my silence. So, yeah, maybe I caused drama. But I'm done making myself small to keep the peace for men like him. Am I the asshole? [00:47:23] Speaker B: Nope. He should have shut the fuck up. He should have pissed off your driver. [00:47:28] Speaker C: Yup. [00:47:32] Speaker A: I get. [00:47:33] Speaker C: I believe he let a woman drive him around. [00:47:36] Speaker A: I. I get where you're coming from. I'm like, yeah, like, time to, like, if war was to ever come to America. Like, if there was ever, you know, foreign, you know, military in the streets, you know, people would not care about any of the dumb you're all talking about. You know, there wouldn't be time for liberal snowflakes. It's like, not up or shut up. And I'm like, what did he just say? Nut up or shut up if we get into war. But I do like having these conversations with people. I'm like, I want to see your side. [00:48:35] Speaker C: I don't understand. Either masturbate or do what? [00:48:41] Speaker A: It's, you know, fucking be ballsy or, you know, don't do anything. Essentially, it's take action or don't do anything. [00:48:51] Speaker C: Okay, so it means more like grow a pair as opposed to ejaculate. [00:48:54] Speaker A: Yeah, nut up. You know, grow a pair. [00:48:57] Speaker C: I was so confused. [00:48:59] Speaker A: It's fine. [00:49:00] Speaker B: How do you not know that? [00:49:03] Speaker C: Okay, I saw nut as a verb. [00:49:06] Speaker A: So. [00:49:10] Speaker C: What I did. [00:49:13] Speaker A: Oh my God. That's like what the prostitutes say to like the man's like, not up or shut up. [00:49:22] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:49:24] Speaker A: So the comments. I've done this not a hundred miles away, but I picked up a friend who is a truck driver from the truck stop. Lunch and hang out. But we butted head. What? [00:49:34] Speaker C: You continue. [00:49:37] Speaker A: So we can get lunch and hang out. We butted heads with one of the TS employees and he was enraged. The TM as a manager gave him shower credits points as customer card and apologized, but he was still angry, yelling about how whites used to be respected, that Obama needs to go back to Africa and Hillary was the C word. On and on. I asked him to shut it down. He just got louder and started pounding on the dashboard. So I pulled him over and told him to get out. We're about a half mile from where I picked him up. So short walk back. I'm not sorry. Yeah, I mean, like, Obama was born here, you know. You know, like as a, you know, red blooded American, we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But, you know, women never want to have political conversations. Like, that's boring. Let's talk about glitter and where it came from and the conspiracy behind glitter. I'm like, oh, no, you're one of those. Not the asshole. You're emotional. He's literally having a breakdown over a billboard. Yeah, a man that fragile probably shouldn't be left in his house in the first place. [00:50:59] Speaker C: He needs adult supervision. [00:51:05] Speaker A: Not the. You. You did the right thing. Actions have consequences. Yeah, but here's the thing, Opie. If there was no one to pick him up and you know, he didn't have a cell phone or his wallet or anything on him and he died as a consequence, you'd be in serious legal trouble. [00:51:26] Speaker C: Not really. [00:51:27] Speaker A: Yeah, no. 100%. You would like. There. There is states here where if you do not like, if you don't pull over to help someone that has like, crashed their car in snow, you are held liable. [00:51:42] Speaker B: That's a thing. [00:51:43] Speaker A: That's a thing. [00:51:46] Speaker C: I don't pull over and people crash in the snow. That's their biz, not mine. [00:51:49] Speaker A: No, no, it's survival here. Here in Colorado Springs. That's not a thing. But I'm talking about, like out in the middle of nowhere, where you might be the only car around, you are now being held liable. [00:52:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I could understand that. [00:52:04] Speaker C: That I do understand. [00:52:06] Speaker A: So, you know, if you left your uncle at like an abandoned, you know, like, rest stop where, you know, it's closed and there's no one around and like, he like left his phone in the car or something like that, and. [00:52:22] Speaker C: Okay, if I drop, if I kick someone out of my car for them to walk home because they were being a dick or whatnot and they realized it's still their phone in the car, I would turn back around and give them their phone, but I still wouldn't give them a lift back. I'd be like, here's your phone. Well, you're on your own now. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Yeah, but if you like, threw the phone out and broke. Yeah, toss it out. [00:52:42] Speaker C: I would like, put it on the ground. And then if I was in a good mood, I wouldn't accidentally drive over it. [00:52:48] Speaker A: Yeah, but if you do that, that is technically murder. And since it is. Yes. And you will be held liable because you are the last person to. You know, it's like, so if I. [00:53:02] Speaker C: Kick somebody out of my car in the drive over their phone, I get to be a murderer? [00:53:06] Speaker A: Well, if they're fucking hella miles away from anything and they have no one to come get them. Yes, yes. [00:53:13] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:53:15] Speaker A: Like, like if. [00:53:17] Speaker C: If you take someone, there's absolutely no effort at all. This is amazing. So, yeah, this is perfect. [00:53:32] Speaker A: Let's see. What states do you have a duty to pick someone up in the snow? [00:53:47] Speaker C: I'm assuming this is some like. No, dak. [00:53:58] Speaker A: I mean, like, this is like Alaska, you know, this is like, you know, hey, you're way. And you know, if, you know someone is like frozen to death, yes, you could be held liable and yes, you could be sued. Like, you're not going to go to jail and you're not going to be a murderer if you drive past it and be like, yeah, that, that's their own. But, you know, like, if you're like way the out there and like, you see that you could have helped somebody, you know? Yeah, just give me like chain law. Yeah, I'll. I'll figure out which law that is later. [00:54:45] Speaker C: So we just need to move to that state then. [00:54:49] Speaker A: You would not like that. You don't like negative 40. [00:54:52] Speaker C: I do not. [00:54:53] Speaker A: That noise, I'm sure it's like Canada or something too, where you're just like out in the middle of nowhere. [00:55:01] Speaker C: And why is it Canada not Candy day? [00:55:05] Speaker A: It's Canada Just as it's not Canaday. [00:55:15] Speaker C: Canaday? [00:55:17] Speaker A: Why would it be Canaday? [00:55:18] Speaker C: Because you say A. But Canada is all short A's and not long A's. [00:55:23] Speaker A: Yeah, not everything that they say is like a. [00:55:27] Speaker C: The only exposure I have to Canada is Leonard Kenny. So. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Excuse me, that's a bad introduction to Canada. [00:55:37] Speaker C: I know it is. [00:55:38] Speaker A: Most Canadians speak normally, like you and I. [00:55:43] Speaker C: They're not speaking abnormally. They just have their own accents, which is cool. [00:55:47] Speaker A: Yeah, not all of them. [00:55:49] Speaker C: Yeah, but they don't dialectal tones. [00:55:51] Speaker B: Not all of them do. [00:55:53] Speaker A: I, like, I know quite a few Canadians that do not have an accent that are not like, oh, hey, how you doing? Oh, I'm going to get a. Like, like, well, that's kind of lame. Yeah, that's like cartoonish W. I. I mean, like, yeah, Letter Kenny is. Is funny. And like, they have to, you know, be like, oh, look, I am a Canadian, you know, dumb like that. But yeah, so. So yeah, dude, you know, may. Maybe don't ever, you know, talk to your niece again. And like, just, just realize when you get older and you get fucking jaded to the world and you realize what made your uncle fucking lose his faith in the Democratic party and you're like, oh, fuck, then you can come down and, you know, have a beer with him, beg. I'm sorry I was such a fucking disrespectful little shit. Yeah, and, you know, everything can be good again. But like, everyone I see is like, either young people or people, they got paid to be that way. You know, it's like, hey, young people, guess what? You know, the old rich millionaires and billionaires are taking advantage of you, but whatever. All right, next, relationship advice. I, 26, female, feel resentment building every time my boyfriend, 30, male, wants to go 5050 by Forever Anonymous. Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months now and it started off pretty great. At the beginning of the relationship, he specifically said something along the lines of, as a man, my job is to provide for my woman and I don't believe in 50 50. It was nice to hear, but I don't necessarily expect a man to pay for everything. However, as long as I can remember, he always wanted to split the bill for dinner, drinks, ubers, etc, example. Last night we went to dinner with his friend, the bill came out to a hundred dollars and when he got the check, he told his friend not to worry about the bill and that he would get it. Then he told, then he told me he left his wad at home again. And told me to put it on my card, then he would send me half. This kind of upset me because, you know, he tends to leave his wallet at home a lot. And also, I barely ate yet I'm covering half the meal for mostly him and his friend ate. His actions also totally contradict his words at the beginning of the relationship. I'm beginning to rethink that. If I can accept 50. 50, man. Mochi. Knock it the fuck off. Can you, like, just chill for like, a minute? No, mochi, off, off. You're mochi. Mochi. [00:59:15] Speaker B: What is she doing? [00:59:16] Speaker A: She's stepping on the keyboard and stepping on everything. She's stepping on everything. I told her not to. [00:59:24] Speaker B: There's a way. There's two ways to do it. Get them their own little laptop or, like, make it. Make them have, like, a higher vantage point than you so that they can. [00:59:35] Speaker A: She has a higher vantage point than me. [00:59:37] Speaker C: She has so many points. [00:59:39] Speaker A: Million. [00:59:39] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:59:42] Speaker C: Mom was just a cat, and the cat's got a cat. [00:59:45] Speaker A: She just wants to with me. But yeah, so, like, this. This lady is, like, upset. [00:59:53] Speaker C: What else is she paying for free litter? [00:59:58] Speaker A: His actions totally contradict his words to begin relationship. I'm beginning to rethink if I can accept a 50. 50 man. What is the best way to bring this up to him without making him feel attacked? [01:00:10] Speaker B: I would just forget your thing. One. At one point. [01:00:14] Speaker C: Yeah, she needs to tell him to pay for it. [01:00:16] Speaker B: Yeah, she needs to figure out her wallet and do it to him. [01:00:22] Speaker A: I mean, he's just gonna keep doing this. [01:00:24] Speaker C: He's looking for a sugar mama. [01:00:27] Speaker A: I mean, obviously he is paying her back. [01:00:31] Speaker C: Do we know that? [01:00:34] Speaker A: You know, like, if. [01:00:35] Speaker B: Like, I wouldn't be splitting a 5050 bill if someone else was covering something, I would only be paying for my portion. Yeah, like, it's 50, 50. Like, if I'm getting, like, a $10 salad and he's getting, like, a $25, like, entree with me. [01:00:54] Speaker A: No, here's how I would do it. If, like, the friend was there and he's like, hey, I don't have my wallet. Can you pay for it? I would look at the friend and be like, hey, you know, you want to go 50, 50 on this? And now the friend has to pay for half the fucking meal. You pay for half the meal, and then, you know, your boyfriend sends you half, and so you're only paying for a quarter of it. Boom. You're paying for a quarter of it. [01:01:16] Speaker C: Well, no, the fact is he stole his friend. Oh, yeah. It's on me. And then looked at his girlfriend like, oh, actually it's on you. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And then now the ball has been passed to her and then she can, you know, look back at the friend, be like, hey, since, you know, he's not fucking paying for it and he wants me to. Can we go 50, 50 on it? Because the friend already asked. [01:01:39] Speaker C: Yeah, he's backed her into a corner. Now he's like, oh, no, I got it. And then he's like, oh, wait, babe, I forgot my wallet. And he does that all the time. And it sounds like he's done that. [01:01:48] Speaker A: I mean, you've been dating for six months. Dump the dead weight. Honestly. Yeah, you know, if you're, if you're, you know, lovey, you've been six months, you're in a honeymoon phase. Whatever. Off. You're being too kind. Who the grabs to check for an entire party without bringing a wallet? A poser. Dude talks about chivalry during the initial phase only to prove that he is selfishly frugal. Dude wants to show off in front of his friends and grab dinner, but he needs OP to cover the bill and offers her an IOU for his half due to spending credit that he doesn't have. OP is stuck with the dead. Wake up, hun. This dude is a poser. Yeah, dude is a poser. Yep. Dump them. You know, get rid of them. You know, he's ridiculous. Yeah, like that resentment will build forever and then it will end ugly. And on for the last story. Advice from Texan 99415. My roommate told me she has a crush on me. My roommate, 25, female, revealed to me, 24, male, that she has feelings for me this evening. I recently got her out of a relationship and then lost my grandfather. She wanted to give me some space before saying anything. I started going on a few dates the last few weeks and started getting close to someone, so she decided to tell me. I also have feelings for her and have for a long time. I never thought it was a possibility and I didn't want to mess up our friendship. We have been living together for two and a half years with another roommate, my sister, 27, female. My sister and my roommate were friends for years before she introduced me to her and she also has feelings for her. But my roommate does not have feelings for her, my sister or her. The sister. My sister was a bit upset and decided not to go to her room for the night. What do I do? Any tips on how to navigate this situation? We're going out for lunch tomorrow to talk about things. [01:04:13] Speaker C: Wait, so both he and his sister have the hots for the roommate. [01:04:17] Speaker A: You know, he had. You know, the sister has hots for the roommate, but the roommate does not have hots for the sister. The roommate has hots for op, which is a dude. So the roommate is a straight lady. And you know, so now they're like trying to figure out there. There's updates and everything. There's three updates on this story already. [01:04:45] Speaker C: Okay, so he and the roommate do have feelings for each other, but the only awkward piece is the sister also has feelings for the roommate. [01:04:52] Speaker A: Yeah. And they. They. You know, they're. They're friends. [01:04:55] Speaker C: That's a little tense. [01:04:58] Speaker A: So. So we'll. We'll go ahead and start up with the update. Update. We had lunch and started putting a plan and a place to talk with my sister. We talked about what I liked, what we liked about each other and went out to a waterfall to spend time while I blew off a little work because it was just too worth it. We talked a bit till neither. Until we couldn't wait to kiss each other any longer. We're gonna go out to our favorite restaurant tonight and then to concert. Go to a concert together. Thank you for all the advice. That helped a lot. So they're together. Mochi, I swear to God. Like, time and place, girl. Time and place. Like, give me five more minutes and then I'll be done. Update 2. Our concert and dinner date was fantastic. We both agreed we had the time of our lives and I gave my sister some space at the house to talk some stuff out with my roommate Wednesday night. They smooth a lot of things over. She met me for lunch at the park today. We had a great time talking and enjoying the nice weather together. She. We spent some time this evening watching TV before I headed out of town for the weekend. My sister and I plan on talking one on one and hopefully as a group when I return from my trip. Update 3. Things have been going on amazing with my roommate. Oh, dirty dog. We're missing each other like hell while I'm out of town, but I'll be home together. And I can't wait to. Can't wait to see each other. I'll have a half day from work on Wednesday and I plan to take her on a picnic to a very nice waterfall. Before we hike down to it, she found and commented on my post with some additional context. Her username is purple loser7337 for anyone interested. Things are going almost exactly as they were previously, but now we finally get to indulge in our intimacy for each other. Everything I know about her, every fantastic quality she has, is now dialed to 11 because she's not afraid to show herself anymore. And I couldn't ask for anything better. That's sweet, Op. You fucking, you know, sat there, you know, with the hots for a girl, you know, your roommate for, you know, two and a half years and then finally just, you know, boom. But you know. Yeah, your sister's gonna be hurt on this. I'm just gonna let you know. Your sister might have a bit of resentment for, you know, how things went, you know, this is your sister's friend and I'm sure your sister had like a thought. It's like, oh, maybe she can be my girlfriend. And now that's all fucking ruined. [01:08:02] Speaker C: Love triangles are tough. [01:08:07] Speaker A: Well, I mean like the sister wants it to be a triangle and it's not a triangle at all, it's just a line. She's like, hey, I'm here. [01:08:14] Speaker B: And it's like, nope, there's just a dot somewhere close by. [01:08:25] Speaker A: But yeah, yeah, your sister's mad. She's allowed to be. Let her have some space. [01:08:34] Speaker B: It's always gonna be messy when you're roommates and you're dating. [01:08:38] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean like, especially when it's. [01:08:40] Speaker B: Like the beginning of a relationship too. [01:08:43] Speaker A: And here's the thing, you know, if it doesn't work out, it's going to be insanely fucking messy. [01:08:51] Speaker C: Well, no, then she can just, then this, then she and the sister can just hook up and they'll keep it in the family. [01:08:57] Speaker A: Jesus. [01:08:59] Speaker C: What? [01:09:01] Speaker A: Well, like the roommate doesn't have hots for the sister and like the roommate would have to move out now. You know, the sister and brother fucking, you know, mad. And yeah, it's just, it can blow up really quick. Like my advice for you, Op, is don't flaunt it. Don't flaunt, flaunt, flaunt, flaunt it. Don't be like, hahaha, I got her and you didn't. Na na na na na na. [01:09:29] Speaker C: Opie doesn't sound like that kind of person. [01:09:33] Speaker A: But yeah, you know, you're lovey dovey, whatever, and it's fine. Just, you know, hopefully your sister can get over it or your sister can get, you know, a girlfriend and it's like boom. Hell yeah. And you know, everything works out perfectly for everybody. It's like, you know, it's a happy ending, it's a, it's a fantasy tale, you know, never works like that, you know, you know, see what Happens. Life is a mystery, and eventually you'll die. So, you know, take trick, take risks, do crazy. But that's it for this week. We'll be back next week with some more nonsense. My taking my wife out to the range next Sunday, so. Like, the first time. [01:10:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:10:37] Speaker A: She's ever gonna be, you know, around shooting guns. They're all gonna be suppressed, you know, and I get to get in free because I get involved with the government, which is pretty cool for me. [01:10:56] Speaker C: It is actually pretty cool for you. [01:10:57] Speaker A: I have to pay for you, but, you know, and if you want to go see the museum, we can go see the museum, too. [01:11:04] Speaker C: I like museums. [01:11:05] Speaker A: Well, this is a military museum, so if you're interested in it, I'm way, way willing to pay for the museum. [01:11:13] Speaker C: If you want to go, let's go. [01:11:17] Speaker B: What museum are you going to? [01:11:19] Speaker A: That's a Dragon Man's museum. It's a. Like a World War II, World War I, Vietnam, just, you know, military museum. And everything in the museum is operational, or at least like, 99 of it. It's all operational. [01:11:42] Speaker C: So you get to touch stuff. [01:11:43] Speaker B: Wow. [01:11:45] Speaker A: You can touch. Probably not some stuff. [01:11:49] Speaker C: Like, do I get to lick stuff? [01:11:51] Speaker A: No, absolutely not. Like, there's, like, ropes and don't cross the ropes and stuff like that. But you can take plenty of photos and, like, if. If you want, I can take you to a army surplus store and, like, I can buy whatever you want to touch and lick. [01:12:15] Speaker C: I just like the lick. Salt from the museum in Utah? [01:12:19] Speaker A: Yeah. No, there's not salt here. It's. I. I want to lick any of it. Get tetanus. [01:12:27] Speaker C: I have my tetanus shot. Got it two years ago through my most recent cat bite. [01:12:33] Speaker A: But yep, we'll be back next week and here in a couple weeks. I'll let you know how my wife did with her first time at a gun range. I. I bought her, you know, pink Ear Pro. [01:12:50] Speaker C: It has to be pink. [01:12:53] Speaker A: Well, it's black and pink, but it's my favorite color. We'll see you then. Bye.