Babies are Delicious

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to the Human podcast. This week, we do not have Courtney. She is busy dealing with new family, dealing with things. So it's just gonna be me and the wife. So you're just gonna deal with that. And it is also Super Bowl Sunday. So obviously the Kansas City Chiefs are going to take that win away from the 49 ers. All those Californians are going to be crying. They're like, oh, no, we had a chance. We haven't won since Joe Montana was on the niners. [00:00:42] Speaker B: I can't believe they got into the cow. It's like the Lakers all over again. [00:00:51] Speaker A: We're all like, super bowl this and Super bowl that, and the cats are like, what about my bowl? [00:00:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I love that meme. It's the best thing ever. [00:01:01] Speaker A: It's a great meme. [00:01:02] Speaker B: It's so good. [00:01:07] Speaker A: So let's go ahead and just hop into some news. I mean, this will probably be a shorter episode. That way I can promptly ignore the Super bowl and play some more pow world. I've been getting down on some fucking pow world, and I don't know if you know this, but PETA, the people for the ethical treatment of animals, oh, my God. Have made a statement. Of course they have on this game. This is amazing on how to play the game ethically. I don't know if PETA understands it's a video game. [00:01:46] Speaker B: They clearly do not. [00:01:47] Speaker A: And it is not actual animals. But they're like, well, you could do this and then you can make your own stuff. You don't have to make your pals work for you. You have to give them the biggest beds and all this bullshit. [00:02:07] Speaker B: I mean, I always provide my animals big beds in minecraft. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Well, you can give them, like, a straw bed, a normal bed. I know people are just too cold for motorcycles. It's not a motorcycle. It was a truck or, like a giant bed because you can create farms for your animals, and then they can create the supplies without hurting them, and you can feed them. So, yes, it is possible to go through the entire game without killing any pals and providing for that. But I'm like, Peter, just shut the fuck up. You are no longer relevant. No one gives a shit. [00:03:02] Speaker B: God, I hope so. [00:03:04] Speaker A: Like, obviously don't kick a fucking dog or don't kill animals, but it's illegal for a fucking reason. You go to prison if you do that shit. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Oh, my God. There was a chick in my vet tech school who was, like, a firm believer in PETA, and she once said, the ugg boots were made by skinning lambs alive. And I was just like, what the fuck? How did you get into medical school? How did you get here? [00:03:30] Speaker A: People are dumb. [00:03:31] Speaker B: People are so dumb. [00:03:33] Speaker A: And people will just start believing whatever the fuck. Like, well, this is obviously how this shit works. I'm like, no, I know why this works. [00:03:42] Speaker B: I know why people believe the first source of information they receive. So in the wild, before we were more fully evolved, if you heard it when rustling, you assumed it was a predator, and therefore you did not die. So when you heard the rustle, you ran away and you lied. Your brain gave you dolphin meaning. Like, yes, this was the right response. So our brain is fine tuned to take in initial sources of information, believe they are correct to save our lives. And that's why people believe the first thing they see, read, or hear, because their brain is programmed to do so. [00:04:12] Speaker A: I don't believe any of the news stories that I fucking read. I just fucking read them, and then I immediately forget about it. But some of them, I'm sure, are true. Like, this one, like, super Bowl 2024 is to be powered by Nevada desert solar farm, making a historic green milestone. [00:04:35] Speaker B: This is amazing. When does the Super bowl start? Like, soon? [00:04:39] Speaker A: Yeah, probably an hour or so. This might even be started right now, honestly. When does the Super bowl start? Oh, it's already started. The Niners are winning three to zero. [00:04:58] Speaker B: How? Eight minutes left in the second quarter. How? [00:05:04] Speaker A: I swear to God. Yeah, it's the second quarter. There's seven minutes and 49 seconds. Niners have the ball, three to zip. And I'm calling it right now. Obviously, this Sunday, and Super bowl is going on right now. I'm going to say that the Niners are going to get a little bit of a lead, and then in the second Quarter or in the second half, the chiefs are going to come and fucking destroy the niners. [00:05:37] Speaker B: What state are the chiefs from? [00:05:39] Speaker A: Kansas. Kansas City Chiefs. [00:05:43] Speaker B: I don't care. [00:05:44] Speaker A: Yeah, no one does. Or Missouri. No, they're Kansas, which is fucking my. My prediction right now is niners are going to get kind of a know to kind of get the Niners fans excited. The chiefs are going to come and smash it in the second half, and then the Chiefs are going to win. And then Taylor Swift's boyfriend is going to know on the field, to Taylor Swift. [00:06:23] Speaker B: One of my doctors is, like, an avid Taylor Swift film, so whenever we do surgery, it's Taylor Swift playing. [00:06:30] Speaker A: I don't know, hardly any Taylor Swift songs at all. It's wild. [00:06:36] Speaker B: She's a good singer, but I don't like her singing style. [00:06:42] Speaker A: She was relevant years ago, and she's. [00:06:45] Speaker B: Maintained herself like props. [00:06:49] Speaker A: I mean, it's just like, she also likes Justin Bieber. It's high school music. [00:06:56] Speaker B: I know, and I don't understand how she's not embarrassed. But also, like, you do you boo if you're happy. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Shelby loves Taylor Swift. She does loves Taylor Swift. [00:07:06] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm not quite sure me and Shelby can be besties then. [00:07:09] Speaker A: No, you can be. But I'm like, ah, no. Like, I almost just went up and ruined a Taylor Swift song for her. I almost just picked a random one and just did, like, a gruff voice for the entire thing. I'm like, I don't know any of this. They are doing the entire fucking Super bowl powered entirely by solar energy, renewable energy. This is rad, which is awesome. But it's 621,000 solar panels, so. [00:08:01] Speaker B: You. [00:08:02] Speaker A: Know that that's pretty fucking cool. They should just make it to where solar panels are cheap and everyone can just put solar panels. If they made solar panels efficient, the energy business would be gone if you could just have, like, a battery in your crawl space. That's what I want to do. I want to put solar on top of the roof and then have an array of batteries underneath in the crawl space and have a really nice charge controller down there and then have that power the entire house because I can just do, like, the backyard. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And that would power most everything and then just be like, yes, this is getting powered by solar. That's getting powered by solar. This is. [00:09:04] Speaker B: There are companies that recycle their solar panels. [00:09:08] Speaker A: Yeah, it's glass. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Yeah, the glass part, but then all the metal and the pvc and stuff. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Well, because after a while, it gets less and less efficient until your solar panels are garbage. Like calculator solar panels. And one of the things I find great is a lot of the solar panels that are in calculators are not real. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I know that. [00:09:36] Speaker A: I've broken open cheap old fucking calculators just to see, and it's just a piece of glass, nothing attached to it. It's like, oh, it's solar. And then there's some that I cover the solar panel and just turns off the calculator. I'm like, yes, it works. So, yeah, the Legion Stadium, they have to just fucking take away energy from, like, a bunch of homes. But good job, guys. You're fucking wasting a bunch of energy on a Super bowl, which doesn't require energy at all. [00:10:25] Speaker B: We got to power, like the lights and stuff. [00:10:28] Speaker A: Do it in the day. Do it at noon. [00:10:30] Speaker B: Everyone works during the day. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Tough. Then you don't get to go to the Super bowl. Take the day off to go to the Super bowl if you really want to go. And it's also a Sunday too. If you're working on a Sunday, you're kind of a loser. [00:10:49] Speaker B: That's true. [00:10:50] Speaker A: I don't work on a Sunday. You don't work on a Sunday? Mostly. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Mostly. [00:10:57] Speaker A: But if it's your regular fucking shit to work on a Sunday, you're a loser. Honestly, like, oh, I have to go work at Walmart, loser. [00:11:07] Speaker B: I don't consider myself a loser if I have to work on Sunday. [00:11:09] Speaker A: You don't have to normally work on Sunday. When was the last Sunday you worked? Last week before that. Okay. My wife is a fucking loser. That's fine. Loser. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Oh, that's what I was going to remember. [00:11:32] Speaker A: But right on to the next fucking story, which gets dark. Father in general revealed that sparked a fatal 2020 California wildfire has pleaded guilty. [00:11:47] Speaker B: Wow. From 2020? [00:11:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's how long it fucking takes, Jesus. Over in San Bernardino. Of course, California, it's like, who gives a fuck? Just tell people, are you having a boy or girl? I'm having a boy. Instead of fucking having to do pyrotechnics, you retard. You should feel bad. But yeah, it killed a fucking firefighter in 2020. He pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter. Oh, my gosh. He was a spanish dude too. Refueguo. Jimenez. Jimenez. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Is the j pronounced or is it like that weird h noise? [00:12:38] Speaker A: I don't know, like Hikama Jimenez. Refuego Jimenez Jr. And Angelina Jimenez and their young children staged a photo shoot for their baby gender reveal party in El Dorado ranch. It's not dinner time in Yukaipa. Yukapia. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Yukaipa. You've never been to Yukaipa? [00:13:05] Speaker A: No. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Oh, my fucking God. [00:13:06] Speaker A: I stay the fuck out of California. [00:13:08] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [00:13:09] Speaker A: I hate it. [00:13:09] Speaker B: I went there for, like, a ce event. It was boring. [00:13:12] Speaker A: But yeah, they had a smoke fucking pyrotechnic device, and they put it in the middle of a dry ass field, lit the entire bitch off. [00:13:22] Speaker B: And they supposed to set it off. [00:13:23] Speaker A: In their backyard in the street. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Not sure you're allowed to do that. Does it say the gender of the baby at all? [00:13:30] Speaker A: I hope the baby's dead. I hope the firefighter died. And then a friend of the firefighter came and punched the woman in the stomach. It's like, there, bitch. Now it doesn't matter what your baby was going to be, it's dead. [00:13:46] Speaker B: It was the father who pleaded guilty, not the mother. It doesn't say, I'm sure. [00:13:52] Speaker A: No, it was the father that pleaded guilty. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah. So why should the wife get punched? [00:13:57] Speaker A: That way it punishes the dad. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Okay, well, I'm sad that we don't know the gender of the baby. I'm assuming it's a boy. [00:14:08] Speaker A: Let's see. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Oh, it's not the full end of the article. [00:14:11] Speaker A: No, it's not. He'll be taken into custody February 23 to serve a year in jail. His sentence also includes two years of felony probation and 200 hours of community service. They should just make him a firefighter. Just like, hey, guess what? You're a firefighter, and now you have to go in and fucking spray hoses and save people's lives. The wife pleaded to three misdemeanor counts of recklessly causing fire to property of another. She was served a year of summary probation and 400 hours of community service. The couple was ordered to pay $1,789,972 in restitution. They do not have that money. [00:14:57] Speaker B: Where does that money go? Like, does the government just pocket it or do they divvy it out to people? [00:15:02] Speaker A: They divvy it out to people. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Okay. Thank God for that. [00:15:06] Speaker A: Usually fucking, like, insurance agencies and shit like that. Oh, because the insurance agency already paid it out, but they shouldn't have to because obviously it burned down houses and shit. [00:15:26] Speaker B: Oh, and they sued the company. [00:15:33] Speaker A: So host. Yeah. The blaze also injured 13 other people, forced evacuations of hundreds of residents and small communities. Yes. San Bernardino sucks. That's what you get for living in San Bernardino. [00:15:59] Speaker B: California is, like, mostly desert. People don't seem to understand that. [00:16:04] Speaker A: Leave San Bernardino, literally, like, highway one is closed at a part because there's a fucking rock slide and it's been closed for like, a year. And California is always on fucking fire. [00:16:20] Speaker B: This is true. [00:16:22] Speaker A: Leave to Texas. Go and fuck up Texas more. Don't come to Colorado, though. We don't want you here. [00:16:32] Speaker B: Well, at least you didn't get pregnant. At least you didn't have to give birth while in jail. If they're only getting sentenced now. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Yeah, obviously the baby is already. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:45] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, just take fucking pictures and have balloons and just pop balloons. Don't fucking do pyrotechnics. You're a bad person if you do. Ah, Jesus fucking Christ. [00:17:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Are they doing the puppy bowl this year? [00:17:06] Speaker A: Probably. Do you want to watch the puppy bowl? [00:17:10] Speaker B: No, I want to watch the kitten bowl. [00:17:13] Speaker A: I'm sure there's a kitten bowl, too. [00:17:15] Speaker B: Did you see the video of the orange kitten, like, snoozing on the little fucking yard, whatever the fuck it's called? [00:17:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, they're always fucking cute. Now for some Europe bad news. 14 people were injured too seriously on Sunday after a tree fell onto a roller coaster in Port Adventura in Terragona, eastern Spain. [00:17:46] Speaker B: Are trees allowed near roller Coasters? [00:17:49] Speaker A: Probably not anymore. The Sunday morning, due to strong winds, there is an incident causing a tree to fall close to the Tomahawk ride, the theme park, a favorite with tourists to Spain's Costa Dorada. Some of the branches hit visitors who are on the ride. Good. They had to tend to 14 people, two in critical condition and taken to two separate hospitals. Three people in less serious condition were also taken to the hospital. Yeah, but that's the risk you take if you go to another country at all. [00:18:35] Speaker B: I think the risk you take when you go on any roller coaster. [00:18:40] Speaker A: I feel like if I go to, like, the person sitting next to me on a roller coaster might just like, bet, give me your wallet and then stab me anyway. [00:18:48] Speaker B: I feel like that would happen in the US too. [00:18:52] Speaker A: That's why I don't go on roller coasters. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Roller coasters are the tits. And yet I dislike elevators. What is the. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Eh, fuck it. Oh, look, I can purchase licensing rights. How much is that for? [00:19:08] Speaker B: What? [00:19:08] Speaker A: I don't know. Now. It makes me fucking create an account. I'm not doing all that. I don't care. Now for the dumbest story I have seen. Baby in Missouri dies after mother mistakenly puts her in the oven for a nap. [00:19:34] Speaker B: Wow. [00:19:36] Speaker A: How do you mistakenly put your baby into an oven? Does it look like a. You know. And you're just, like, fucking on drugs the entire goddamn time. And you're just like, this goes there, and then she goes to breastfeed her baby, and she's like. Takes the turkey. He's like, oh, fuck, this is a turkey. Where's my baby? Oh, no. My baby. My baby. I wonder if she ate the baby. [00:20:07] Speaker B: How the fuck does this happen? [00:20:11] Speaker A: Mariah Thomas of Kansas City was charged with endangering the welfare of a child on Friday after. Yeah, endangering the welfare. Just killing their child. Just like, put that. Don't fucking try and be something else. An infant in Missouri died when her mother mistakenly put her down for a nap in an oven. Don't say that. Say the mother was tired of having a baby and so she killed her baby. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Okay. They literally just have a witness statement. Like, there's, like, no information. [00:20:52] Speaker A: Court records do not yet show whether Thomas had an attorney, but no phone listing could be immediately found. Police responded Friday afternoon to a report of an infant not breathing. A possible cause statement said responders found the child with apparent burns. The child was pronounced dead at the scene. Um. The statement said responders were told by a witness that the mother put the child down for a nap and accidentally placed her in the oven instead of the crib. Yeah, you don't do that. [00:21:30] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:21:32] Speaker A: The statement did not offer an explanation of how this mistake was made. [00:21:38] Speaker B: Okay. This article has been published with absolutely no information whatsoever. I'm rather irritated by. [00:21:46] Speaker A: Like, I saw the fucking title of this and I'm like, so dumb. Hick redneck woman in Missouri, Mariah Thomas. Dumb as fuck. Let me see if I can find a picture of Mariah Thomas in Kansas City. Let's search google for it. Images, please. Oh, man. I did not see that coming. It's a black woman. [00:22:28] Speaker B: I also assumed it was a white woman. [00:22:31] Speaker A: Black woman with straight hair. Yeah. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Okay. Something else was involved. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Drugs? [00:22:40] Speaker B: Yeah, something else. [00:22:41] Speaker A: It was 100% drugs. [00:22:43] Speaker B: I want to know who the witness was. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Probably, like, one of her friends that fucking came over. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Like, it doesn't say if she's been taken into custody or anything like that. [00:22:53] Speaker A: Oh, she's definitely been taken into custody. [00:22:55] Speaker B: There was no information provided whatsoever. [00:22:59] Speaker A: She was charged with endangering the welfare of a child. Means she was taken into custody. She's in jail. That's what that means. So I'm sure she called a friend over and like, hey, girl, can you help me find my baby? I imagine it was, like, a fat, like, redneck woman that has, like, one weird eye. I can't find my baby. Where my baby at? And then she's like, oh, no, the chicken. And then, like, a friend's like, mariah, do you have a baby in the oven? It smells delicious. I mean, you can't tell if it's burnt because the baby is already black. God burnt that baby. What? [00:24:09] Speaker B: Wouldn't it be, like, flaky and shit? [00:24:14] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's already black. Like, blackened with spices. No. You know, if you burn something in the oven, it turns black. Yeah, but the baby is already black. I'm sure the baby was, like, mostly fine or just not fine enough to survive. So, yeah, good news for that baby. [00:24:42] Speaker B: It doesn't have to live in this. [00:24:43] Speaker A: World, and it's also delicious. And then onto the last story. Waymo robotaxi goes up in flames. In Chinatown after crowd attacks the vehicle. A crowd in San Francisco's Chinatown surrounded a Waymo robotaxi Saturday night, broke the windows, threw fireworks inside, setting the vehicle ablaze. The company said the incident occurred on Jackson street near Grant around 09:00 p.m. Waymo said the autonomous vehicle was not transporting any passengers at the time of the incident and no injuries were reported. Yeah, I fucking love that. It is not clear what prompted the crowd set upon the robotaxi. It's a robotaxi. Probably charged too much, parked for free or something. The San Francisco Police Department said authorities are investigating the incident. Video posted to social media shows a crowd of several dozen people surrounding the car and scrolling graffiti on the side. One man bashing the front passenger window and the windshield with a skateboard, shattering the glass. [00:26:04] Speaker B: I like how the hazard lights are on as it's on fire. [00:26:10] Speaker A: I love that the graffiti is still. I like how the car is burnt down, but the headlights are still on. [00:26:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:19] Speaker A: Let'S see. It's honking. [00:26:22] Speaker B: Of course it is. [00:26:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Wait, is it honking, or is the fire engine honking? [00:26:31] Speaker A: No, I just turned off the fucking sound because it was annoying. [00:26:34] Speaker B: It was very loud. Thank you. Wow. [00:26:39] Speaker A: They burnt that bitch all the way down. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Who the fuck pays for that? [00:26:44] Speaker A: Fucking Waymo. Are they just, like, spraying the people? [00:26:52] Speaker B: That'd be hilarious if they were. Do you use water? Is it an electric fire? [00:27:00] Speaker A: It's like a fucking gas fire, I guess. It's not an electric car. [00:27:07] Speaker B: I don't know why I assumed it was electric. I thought you use, like, stuff besides water to put out vehicle fires. [00:27:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, you use foam. If it's an electric car, you have to submerge the entire bitch in water for, like, a week. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Wow. [00:27:23] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a nightmare. They're trying to figure out different ways to put out electric car fires, because when the lithium hits the oxygen, it's a nightmare. I like how this guy's camera is getting fucked. Damn, it keeps going down. Holy shit. Yeah, that car is fucked. [00:27:57] Speaker B: Yeah, there's no coming back from that. [00:28:00] Speaker A: You got to flood it off. Yeah, keep on spraying the shit out of it. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Because they have to cool down the metal too, don't they? [00:28:11] Speaker A: No. Everybody needs to clear out. This is officially a crime scene. If you don't want to be associated with this. Clear out of the streets. This is officially a crime scene. Clear out of the streets. Clear all of the sidewalks. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Wow. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm sure it bumped somebody, and then, like, what the fuck? And they hit the car. And realized no one was in it. And they're like, fuck this car. And then mob mentality fucking just took the fuck over. [00:28:50] Speaker B: Mob mentality is scary. [00:28:52] Speaker A: Yes, it is. But, I mean, it's a good idea to have a self driving car. That's cool. But imagine you're, like, the person that ordered that ride. All right, where the fuck is my taxi? It's like getting burnt to the ground. But you already paid for it. Got my money back. We're going to need that money. We just lost a car, and honestly, it just takes away fucking jobs. Like, shit like that. Just. [00:29:36] Speaker B: Don't you wish there were more autonomous drivers? So let's. Car accidents happened. [00:29:39] Speaker A: I wish there was just no cars. Go the fuck home if you don't have a reason to be out. I see people do dumb shit all the fucking time. I see people pull out in front of me and then pull into another fucking driveway, and then, oh, man, I'm dumb as, like, in fact, just the other day, I was going down, like, a back road in between San Luis and Manassa, just, like, taking them back road, and halfway in between, there's, like, a stop sign. So you have to stop because the main road, 142, cuts in. And so I come to my stop, and then, like, a fucking semi truck blows by me. Just blows through the fucking stop sign. There's a double yellow there, so you cannot see oncoming traffic. Blows by there. I fucking blare my horn at him, and then he fucking comes to a dead stop in the middle of 142. I almost got out of my fucking truck and beat him to death. I'm like, you cannot fucking do that. If you're going to be a dumb, shit ass fucking truck driver. I could kill you out here in the middle of nowhere. No one's the wiser. There's no one that lives out here. No cars, no cameras, no nothing. [00:31:04] Speaker B: So then if there's nothing to prove he was breaking the law. [00:31:09] Speaker A: I had a camera. [00:31:11] Speaker B: What would you have done with the semi after you killed the dude? [00:31:14] Speaker A: Left it there. [00:31:15] Speaker B: You wouldn't have, like, moved it off the side? No side of the road? [00:31:17] Speaker A: I'd have left it there. Left his dead ass body on the side of the fucking road, left his semi there, everything. [00:31:26] Speaker B: How would you destroy your dna evidence? [00:31:29] Speaker A: I wouldn't. I would take a gun and bang. [00:31:34] Speaker B: Can't they, like, trace bullets back to guns? [00:31:36] Speaker A: No, that's some dumb ass. If they have the gun, then, yes, they can be like, okay, yes, this is the gun that fucking shot it. But they have to have the gun, and with 300 million, well, the barrel does this to the bullet. I'm like, no, that's not at all how that works. This is a shell. That's some just dumb shit that they make up. People are bad fucking drivers. And I feel like if you're a bad enough driver, you should just have to take a taxi everywhere you fucking want to go. Like, old people should just get free fucking taxis. I'm sick and tired of old fucking people, especially in rvs. [00:32:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:32:29] Speaker A: It's like, oh, cool. You fucking were able to save up a million fucking dollars and then buy, like, a $200,000 rv and fucking go travel the country. Now. [00:32:40] Speaker B: I feel like if you want to buy an rv, you should have to take at least some little bit more of driving instructions or something. [00:32:45] Speaker A: You should have to have a fucking CDl to drive an rv. Full stop. You should have to have 100% a cdl that you know all the shit that I know. And then every fucking year, you have to go get that rv inspected. Yes, because every year I have to go get my truck fully inspected. All the way, top to bottom, back to front, everything inspected. And there's a little sticker on my truck proving that I got that shit inspected. [00:33:16] Speaker B: Yeah, there should definitely be more regulations for rv drivers. [00:33:21] Speaker A: And that's like, oh, yeah, you can just go get, like, a class B fucking rv and just drive that shit wherever. The movie rv is, like, a prime example. He had no idea what he was doing with the rv. Fucking immediately hit garbage cans and all kinds of shit. And it's like, no, you should not just be able to go get an rv. I hate these people with a passion. [00:33:47] Speaker B: You cannot pay me to drive an rv. [00:33:49] Speaker A: I mean, I can do it because I fucking know how to drive a fucking truck. [00:33:53] Speaker B: But it's like, yeah, you'd be legit with it. [00:33:59] Speaker A: But now on to am I the asshole by life Jello. 13 04:00 a.m.. I. The asshole for not getting my not getting tattoo removal procedure to remove my child's dead name from my body. Hi, everyone. I'm 36, female. I have two daughters, one of which came out trans a year ago. Let's call them Mariah, 17. Then Anna, 15, my trans child. I would like to start by saying that when Anna came out, I had no problem as long as her transition didn't come in the way of school or grades. The problem, however, is I have Anna's dead name tattooed on my body. I have had the tattoo since she was a toddler. It's pretty visible. It's on my neck. Every time Anna sees it, she gets visibly upset. She's told me she's looked into tattoo removal surgery and recommends I get it removed or covered up with her new name. While I do have the money for it, I do not think it's something I want to deal with. After all, it's just tattoo. I don't think that getting it removed to show my love and dedication to this new identity. Anna, however, has accused me of not taking her seriously, that if I truly loved or cared, I'd get it removed. I do understand getting the tattoo removed or covered would show dedication, but I truly do not see it as necessary. I think she's just being absolutely ridiculous and pushing the issue. I'm an adult, after all, and I can make decisions on my own body just as she can. The issue has put a strain on a relationship, and now she barely looks at me these days. Am I the asshole? [00:35:39] Speaker B: Has this been a problem from the beginning, or she recently got bothered by. [00:35:47] Speaker A: You know, a year know, Anna came. [00:35:51] Speaker B: Out as trans, so I'm just wondering if Anna's been asking for tether removal from the beginning or if this has been a recent request. [00:35:58] Speaker A: Probably a recent request. [00:36:01] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:36:03] Speaker A: I mean, here's the know. You were allowed to do whatever you want with your own body, and your mom is allowed to do whatever she wants with her own body. And you're 15 now. I fully support you in doing whatever the fuck you want. But what if you decide to change your name again? Does your mom have to reget it covered up? So it's like her body, her choice. Let her fucking have, unless you want to fucking personally pay for the surgery. And at 15 years old, I know you don't have the money. [00:36:48] Speaker B: Okay, if I was mana's mom, I would get the name removed, but that's just how I would do things. But also, I'm sorry. You should never, ever get any name tatooed on your body. I don't care if it is. Your kids do not get people's names tattooed on your body. It results in situations like these. Like, you just plain don't get people's names tattooed on your body. [00:37:07] Speaker A: I think my mom has my name tatooed on her. [00:37:10] Speaker B: That's hilarious. [00:37:13] Speaker A: That's a dumb thing. She has a dragon tattoo on her back. [00:37:17] Speaker B: Well, yeah, it was because your mom's. [00:37:18] Speaker A: Cool and it's like holding the birthstones of each of her kids. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Oh, my God, that's so middle class. Birthstones, birth flowers, yeah, I mean, the. [00:37:33] Speaker A: Dragon is, like, holding the birthstones. I'm like, oh, mom, you're like the girl with the dragon tattoo. Fucking classic. You're such a white woman. But just let. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Okay, op is a little bit of an asshole. Not a complete asshole, but in my personal opinion, a little bit of an asshole and also low key stupid for getting names tattooed on her body. I don't know how I feel about Anna requesting that, though. She is 15. [00:38:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:15] Speaker B: Her emotions are very felt, are very strong right now, and very high, and she's under a shit ton of pressure at school, I'm sure. [00:38:22] Speaker A: Well, I mean, here's the thing. At 15, you are discovering who you are. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:32] Speaker A: And you could be like, okay, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be trans anymore because it is a huge fucking thing, and there are a lot of people that will give you shit about it, and there are a lot of opportunities that you do not get anymore because you've done this because of society as a whole. Yeah, because society can be an asshole. So there's jobs that you get looked over for, which is bullshit, but at the same time, there's certain trans people that have been like, you need to respect me and everything I do, and blah, blah, blah. I do. But you don't get to call every shot, and you don't get to be the victim in every fucking thing you do. Just because you decided to do something does not make you a victim. And just because, like, does not make you a victim. [00:39:43] Speaker B: Okay. LP is not a bad person for not getting the tattoo removed. I just personally see it as a dick move to not get it removed. [00:39:49] Speaker A: No. If I had a naked, topless woman on my shoulder, just like, boom. Just like, teddy is here, that wouldn't bother me. But if it did bother you, and I'm like, I'm not getting it removed. [00:40:11] Speaker B: If it bothered me, I would not. Okay. A tattoo of a naked lady versus a dead name is two different circumstances. [00:40:21] Speaker A: Let's see what the comments say. Listen, not going to comment on whether you're the asshole or not, but is this really the hill you want to die on? That being said, do not tattoo their new name on your neck. This is a stupid idea. They are 15, and I can almost guarantee you they will change their name multiple times before settling on one. If you're going to cover it up, cover it up with something else entirely. Their birth month, flower, perhaps? [00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I like this. [00:40:50] Speaker A: Can confirm mine came out as non Binary and decided to change their name. I have their dead name tattooed on my forearm. Kid. It was on me to cover it. Change it, or cover it up. Three years later, the kid is still non binary, but it's going back to their birth name by choice. [00:41:16] Speaker B: I like the idea of getting it covered up with something that still memorializes the op's daughter without putting another name on it. I think that's a very good solution, but again, that's what I would do. Op is not a bad person for not doing it. But as the first comment said, is this the hill you want to die on? I think that covers the situation, but. [00:41:37] Speaker A: At the same know if the daughter know, Anna goes and gets a tattoo that the mother doesn't like. Cover that up. Cover that up. I don't like that tattoo. Cover that up is exactly what's going to happen. I covered up my shit for you. Now you need to cover this up for me. I don't like it. [00:41:55] Speaker B: If Op wants to be petty like that, she can. [00:42:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, if it was me, I wouldn't get a tattoo where it's visible. That's just a dumb ass idea. I'm not the asshole. Because it's your body, you can do what you want with it. But it also won't stop your daughter from seeing your choice as a sign that you don't accept her. Deep down, this is going to affect your relationship with her, whether you like it or not. Her dead name upsets you, and she can't see you without being confronted by it. And you're all surprised faced, like she doesn't want to look at you bluntly. You have a choice. What do you value more, your money tattoo or your relationship with your daughter? You have a right to make that choice in either direction, but you need to accept the consequences for it. Here's a problem. The mother is the one that named you. This is the name that she gave you. It's not a dead name. It's not like, fuck you. I'm going to call you by this name, especially if your mother is calling you by the new name. But it's like, hey, this is my baby. And this is how you have evolved. But 15 year olds are fucking retarded as shit. [00:43:09] Speaker B: It's hard to be 15. [00:43:11] Speaker A: It's not hard to be 15. You're just dumb as fuck. [00:43:14] Speaker B: No, it's difficult. Being 15 was atrocious. [00:43:17] Speaker A: I was in boarding school at 15. [00:43:22] Speaker B: Although my life was atrocious from the beginning. So my experience is extremely skewed in one direction, not the other. There's a difference between imagery and a dead name, though. [00:43:34] Speaker A: So here's what you do, is you go ahead and get it removed, and then you send your other daughter to college. When Anna's like, hey, I'm going to go to college. Where's my money for college? Oh, I spent it on the tattoo removal. That's what you wanted. And then she's like, oh, well, I wanted my cake and to eat it, too. It doesn't work that way. [00:44:00] Speaker B: Again, if op wants to be petty, she can no. [00:44:03] Speaker A: Like, tattoo removal is insanely painful, which. [00:44:06] Speaker B: Is why she should get it covered up. Like, don't do the fucking removal. It doesn't look pretty afterwards. Like, just get it fucking covered. If Op is going to make the decision to alter the tattoo, just get it covered. Honest to God. And, like, Jesus Christ, neck tattoos. My neck, too, is going to hurt a shit. Mean, my collarbone was a bitch. [00:44:29] Speaker A: But. [00:44:29] Speaker B: It was worth it. I fucking love my collarbone tattoo. [00:44:31] Speaker A: But, yeah, if something that somebody else has on their body upsets you, you're kind of a weak person. I'm not going to sugarcoat that at all. You are a weak person. You need to toughen the fuck up, because that just a tattoo on somebody else's body is the least of your problems. I'm not saying that you're a bad person. I'm saying you're a weak person. Toughen up. And then boom, you're like, oh, shit. That doesn't bother me. Because I guarantee you later in life, you're going to have people screaming that you're a faggot to your face, or worse things than that. People beating the shit out of you. There's trans people that. [00:45:24] Speaker B: What's the bottom? Comment by sublime, sweetly, sub me sweetly. [00:45:30] Speaker A: I'm going to say something very unpopular here. I have a trans child, so fuck it. I have my son's dead name tattooed on my ribcage. Before he transitioned, when he was ten years old, he was my daughter. I have memories of that little girl, of the moment. She made me a mom. I loved her and mourned her passing. When my daughter became my son, I got to celebrate a brand new baby boy. We got cupcakes. Redid his Christmas stocking with his new name, redecorated his room. I got his new name tattooed beneath his dead name. He doesn't care for my old tattoo, but respects it as his first birth was a part of my journey. I love him. I'm excited to see every step of his journey, and I'll celebrate every moment I can. But I will never remove that dead name because it marks a moment that was important to me. [00:46:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:46:32] Speaker A: So, yes, it is for the mother. [00:46:37] Speaker B: Thank God we had an insight from personal experience. This was enlightening. I love what this person did. [00:46:45] Speaker A: So, yes. [00:46:49] Speaker B: I love this op. [00:46:51] Speaker A: You're not the asshole, okay? Right now, your daughter is going on a journey. It is a difficult ass journey. I do have trans friends, and it is a difficult journey. There are people like, they lost friends, they lost family members, and they sacrificed so much to be who they wanted to be. And I respect that. But if this is the hill that this kid wants to die on, they are in for a really rough time. Time to toughen them up. [00:47:39] Speaker B: Well, no, if you don't provide a safe place for your child, how will they recognize a safe place when they get into the real world? But also, I thought it was very interesting to hear her say she loved and mourned the passing of her daughter when she became her son. I found that very interesting to listen, it's your kid. Yeah. [00:47:58] Speaker A: It's like, hey, this was your name. And to be offended by your dead name, it's like, yeah, this is what I used to be called. It's like. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That one time you were at a stand up and some chick was making a joke about how you are like your name. Like, if you're like a Tiffany or characteristics. And some waiter came up and was like, well, what if that was her dead name? Then was like, pouty for the rest of the fucking evening. She just stomped around. And then poor comedian had to try to recover from the crowd and it did not go well. [00:48:37] Speaker A: Here's really what it is. You are worried about that. Guess what? You're never going to be able to buy a house at 15 years old. You have no shot in hell in buying a house. [00:48:49] Speaker B: What does buying a house have to do with anything? [00:48:51] Speaker A: Well, here's really what it is. You see someone that's 50 years old, they're able to buy two, three houses. They were able to get a good job, get a foothold in this world, and now you are worried about dumb shit that in your adult life will not matter. Take your kid to a support group for trans people so they can kind of explain what the later years are going to look like and be like, hey, this is my journey, and this is the bad things that happened. But it is who I wanted to be, and it is well worth it for me to have done this. It's like, cool, but get ready for. It's like, if you want to go become a lawyer doctor. You go into medical school and then you have to go get a residency at a hospital and you have to work like 20 hours days. It is hell. It sucks. But guess what? At the end, it's awesome. If you want anything, you're going to have to work for it. So if this is the path that you want, you're going to have to work for it. There is going to be hardships. And if a tattoo on your mother's neck is like the thing that stops you dead in your tracks, oh, man, you're not ready for it. Just be ready. Back in the 90s, if you're gay, people would beat the shit out of you. [00:50:45] Speaker B: That happens today. [00:50:47] Speaker A: It happened all the time. It was normal. If it's still normal, it's not. If anyone ever beat up any of my gay friends, I beg point me in the direction. [00:50:59] Speaker B: Well, you only care about those in your circle, though, so that statement means nothing. [00:51:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but gay people should have people that are like, yeah, I'll beat the shit out of these people, no problem. [00:51:14] Speaker B: Of course, you mourn your previous child's gender. I find that so interesting to think about. That makes so much sense. That is very interesting. I'm going to be thinking about this. [00:51:25] Speaker A: For a while, but onto relationship advice. More tattoos. She female, 21. Got my male 25 name tattooed. How the hell do I break up with her? Don't tattoo people's names on your body by throw ra. It. Go. Oh, my God. And the thing is, we've only been dating two months. [00:51:53] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Dump her. She crazy. [00:51:55] Speaker A: Our relationship has been nothing like I've ever experienced. It's adventurous, fun and everything like that, but I started seeing red flags very quickly. She's crazy. [00:52:07] Speaker B: She is crazy. [00:52:08] Speaker A: Like, she is fucking nuts. And I hate to break it off right before Valentine's day, but we need to part ways. [00:52:15] Speaker B: Yes, you do. [00:52:16] Speaker A: I asked her to meet with me with intentions of breaking up with her. She said she had something to show me. We were in public, so she showed me a picture which ended up being a tattoo of my name on her ass cheek with a handprint. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:52:35] Speaker A: I was thinking it was a joke, which actually made her mad. Anyway, it's real. [00:52:41] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:52:42] Speaker A: All of the breakups with the exclusive relationships have ended amicably. This would be the only one where I anticipate a huge reaction. Given these details, how do you suggest I break up with her? [00:52:55] Speaker B: That is. Oh, my God. [00:53:00] Speaker A: Immediately. And just now, two months. I'm sure the sex is good. Dude. [00:53:09] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, of course she's crazy. [00:53:13] Speaker A: Comments? Now is the time to break up before Valentine's Day turns into an indictable offense. There's only one of the times I'd recommend breaking up by text, then block her and move out of the state. I can block her, but I cannot move out of the state. [00:53:36] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what? I bet she said she's on the pill and she's not. I bet she's that level crazy. [00:53:46] Speaker A: She's insane. Don't have sex with her under any circumstances. The number one rule in tattoos is never get someone else's name tattooed on your body. [00:53:58] Speaker B: Never. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Just because she was fooled enough to put your name on her rear end doesn't mean you have to stay with her for the rest of your life. That's her problem. Simply tell her that you don't see this relationship going the distance and you think it's the best to go your separate ways. [00:54:14] Speaker B: It's not going to be Pretty. [00:54:17] Speaker A: Moss Valley. Wow. I normally hate it when guys call women crazy, but in this case, she is actually crazy. [00:54:25] Speaker B: Straight the fuck up. [00:54:26] Speaker A: Honestly, I think you should break up with her over phone. Explain clearly and honestly why. Then hope for the best. Maybe consider moving so she doesn't know where you live. I don't know, but protect yourself. [00:54:37] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. She is fucking crazy. Yeah, I think over the phone is definitely a safer way to go. [00:54:44] Speaker A: Fake your own death. [00:54:47] Speaker B: Like, don't do it in public. There's shit you do in public. You don't do breakups in public. I think it's really. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Don't. [00:54:56] Speaker B: You know what? She can just go find another guy with the same name. [00:55:00] Speaker A: Like, what if he has, like, a weird name? [00:55:04] Speaker B: That's true. [00:55:05] Speaker A: What if his name's like, hmm, I've only met one boy with a name it. And, yeah, I was like, oh, shit, now you have to move to India and go find some dude? [00:55:24] Speaker B: And I have an ass tattoo, but it is most certainly not a fucking handprint. [00:55:30] Speaker A: Yeah. 21, dude. [00:55:33] Speaker B: Oh, she's so young. He needs to dip out now. [00:55:37] Speaker A: Made a mistake, dude. [00:55:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:45] Speaker A: Op. Break up over the phone. [00:55:49] Speaker B: Make sure she's not pregnant. [00:55:51] Speaker A: She's going to lie and say she is. [00:55:54] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:55:54] Speaker A: I can tell you this. I can tell you how this is going to go. She's going to freak the fuck out. [00:56:00] Speaker B: It's going to go from bad to worst. [00:56:04] Speaker A: Give her, like, $300 to pay for a cover up tattoo. I feel like that that is a nice thing to do. Give her a little bit of money to get that covered. [00:56:16] Speaker B: No, don't give her any money. Fucking dip. She's crazy. [00:56:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I'd say give her a little bit of money, like, cab fare to fucking leave. Like, take her to the tattoo parlor and get it covered. Be like, I do not want my name on your ass. You should have asked me about that. [00:56:42] Speaker B: This place offers payment plans for tattoo removal. [00:56:49] Speaker A: Or what you can do is make. That's my dad name. I'm trans now. And then freak out on her. [00:56:57] Speaker B: Match the crazy with crazy. [00:57:00] Speaker A: Start hitting her. Don't actually do that, but just do weird things. Stop showering. Don't wipe your butt, and make you lick your ass. Do weird. Yeah. Be really into rim jobs. Yeah. And then she's like, oh, I don't like that. Make her want to break up with you. It's the same thing as don't fire your employee. Make them want to quit. Don't break up with her. Make her want to break up with you. [00:57:42] Speaker B: I wonder if my old job was trying to do that to me. [00:57:45] Speaker A: Probably it worked. [00:57:46] Speaker B: I quit. [00:57:49] Speaker A: But that is going to be it for this episode. Thank you all so much for being here listening to this horseshit. We will be back next week with some more nonsense. Whatever, retarded shit. And if you are in Colorado Springs on Fridays, you can find me at Salad bus downtown at 07:00. I do comedy down there. And if you're in Durango, Colorado, every Monday, you can find me at the Starlight lounge. You can find me online, Alex, truck everywhere. And if you're a fucking piece of shit on the road and you see a man yelling at you, it's probably not me, but it might be. See you all next time. Bye.