Blackout Episode

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. I'm your host, Alex the Truck. And I am here. I am drunk. Like, you ever have those days where you're like, you know, just sitting there taking shots and you don't even think about it and you're sitting down taking shots and you know, taking drinks and shit and then you're like, you stand up and you're like, oh no, I am drunk. Like, like you don't realize how fucked up you are. [00:00:39] Speaker B: It's all cuz of my prezi. [00:00:42] Speaker A: I caused you prezzy. [00:00:44] Speaker B: My prezzy. [00:00:45] Speaker A: I don't even know what that means. [00:00:47] Speaker B: The thing I got you. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Oh yeah, my wife got me like this, like pistol decanter. And I was playing Call of Duty earlier and every time I won, I took a shot, a victory shot. My team kept on winning. Like, you know, the one time in the world where my team keeps on winning Call of Duty. The. The only time in the world, like, I'm like, okay, I. I can probably, you know, control it because it'll be like when lose, lose, lose, win. No, it was just win non God damn stop. And I made a deal with myself. Every time I won, I'd take a shot and you know, here I am a bottle down of the salted caramel. [00:01:36] Speaker B: That you did not share with me. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Not at all. No. So I had Crown Royal salted caramel. It was so good from Costco. I like, I gave my wife a shot and like, I drank the rest of the bottle. [00:01:48] Speaker B: It was good. And I don't like whiskey. [00:01:52] Speaker A: I didn't know if Crown Royal is whiskey. [00:01:54] Speaker B: I thought it was whiskey. [00:01:56] Speaker A: No, that's, that's something I should ask. [00:01:58] Speaker B: They had the little, like. [00:01:59] Speaker A: Is Crown Royal whiskey? Yes. Crown Royal is Canadian whiskey. Yes, it is. [00:02:05] Speaker B: All right, cool. I like those little like lemon things that came out with the little four pack, like two tea. [00:02:14] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, those are nice. [00:02:17] Speaker B: Those don't hurt my stomach. [00:02:20] Speaker A: But yeah, I started hitting the bottle hard. So this is going to be a little shorty episode there. There's no way I can last a whole half an hour. [00:02:31] Speaker B: That's what she said. [00:02:33] Speaker A: I mean, I'll try. I mean, pound it out, but let's just jump right into it, you know? So now, now I am finally back on, you know, short days. And honestly, I hate every single goddamn time that there is a holiday. And I would have made more hours without the holiday like everyone else. It's like they work like six, you know, fucking five hours that day. They're like, oh, yeah, I get a full 8 hour paid day and I don't have to come to work and they're celebrating me. I get short dicked the entire fucking time any holiday happens. [00:03:28] Speaker B: Well, at least you get holiday pay. [00:03:30] Speaker A: So quite honestly, I would much rather work the holiday. [00:03:35] Speaker B: I would like to have paid holidays. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Like. Like, I have no problem working Christmas, working New Year's at all. [00:03:44] Speaker B: You're not allowed to work? No, not in New Year's. That's my birthday. You can work Christmas, I don't care. I work Christmas, Christmas, I'd work your birthday. [00:03:53] Speaker A: I don't care. You know, give me money. I want cash. But you know, like, every business out there is like, we're gonna pay you holiday pay. We're gonna give you eight hours. That, that's good of them because they're fucking closed too. And they're not making any money and they're just giving you cash for nothing. But I would much rather be working, fucking delivering shit. [00:04:21] Speaker B: Yeah, holidays shouldn't get you shaft on your paycheck. Like, long story short. [00:04:28] Speaker A: And if holiday pay, you know, incorporated into overtime pay, I'd be like, fuck yes. Like, for new, for Thanksgiving. I worked that entire work week, six days. And my boss called me in the office, he's like, dude, you're over 60 hours this week. He was like, freaking out. And I'm like, I'm like, you're bullshitting, dude. Like, what the fuck? I know I'm not. And so I like had him pull up the fucking software and pull up my timesheet and it just turns out that I got paid eight hours. And so I was, you know, like 68 hours on fucking Thanksgiving week, you know, due to the eight hours of holiday pay, which was great. I'm like, cool, Yes. I fucking work hard and you can all suck my dick or I'll quit. And like that. That's a good fucking feeling. Okay? [00:05:26] Speaker B: No, it's not. [00:05:28] Speaker A: No, it's not. [00:05:29] Speaker B: Because when you leave, the whole place falls apart. [00:05:32] Speaker A: Yeah, fuck. [00:05:33] Speaker B: You feel guilty of shit afterwards. [00:05:34] Speaker A: Nope, not at all. And I can tell you this right now. Like, the company will still stay afloat. They have a few billion dollars with a B. Billion dollars? [00:05:47] Speaker B: Well, yeah, corporate survives, but the clinic you left doesn't. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, I don't have a clinic. I have a warehouse. [00:05:54] Speaker B: I hate corporate. [00:05:56] Speaker A: The warehouse will survive if I fucking quit. Whatever. They'll just throw random people at it until someone wants to fucking do it. And I always find it hilarious. Like, people will volunteer to, you know, do the overnight route because it's a lot of hours and then they have like a kid or a dog at home. I'm like, you know, they're like train me how to do it. And it's like they sit in the truck with me and they go through the entire day. I'm like, do you have any kids? They're like, yeah, I have three. I'm like, you're a dumb idiot. No, get off this route. Run away. You're like, you're going to be, you know, 300 miles away from home and you know your kid's gonna get sick or take a fall or something's gonna happen and you're gonna need to be back and you're gonna freak the out. So I, I, you know. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it sucks. Every time I have to go to the ER and you're not there, it sucks. So. [00:07:05] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean I pay for the er, so it's fine. [00:07:11] Speaker B: It is fine. You always come pick me up the next day to help me get my car back. [00:07:17] Speaker A: I mean how often do you like we don't have kids so it's, it, it doesn't really matter to the er. [00:07:23] Speaker B: Seven times this year. [00:07:26] Speaker A: Yeah, it's probably a lot. I don't know. [00:07:28] Speaker B: 1 twice cuz they couldn't pee. 3 because of a kidney stone. 1 due to a cyst had ruptured on my remaining ovary that they won't take. I freaked get the last one. [00:07:42] Speaker A: They, they won't take an ovary. Like just be like take this ovary. [00:07:46] Speaker B: So pissed he left it. [00:07:51] Speaker C: Alex. It's quite honestly like I know why it's probably have health problems. Like you don't want that to happen. Cuz girl going early into early menopause is going to be much worse and like it creates problems down the road. [00:08:10] Speaker B: Courtney, I'm aware of all this, but I'm still unhappy in the situation I'm in. Now both are sucky, but one has one less organ that can grow cysts whenever the it feels like. Yeah, that's the difference and it's worth it. [00:08:33] Speaker A: So let's go ahead and get into some stories. This is gonna like, like I said, this is gonna be a shorty episode. Shorty episode. Because I am hammered. I don't even know what's going on right now, but a man was arrested for calling 91117 times to get a ride to Wawa. And Wawa is like a like convenience store that does some good ass sandwiches on the east coast food like over like New Jersey. And imagine really wanting a snack from your local convenience store, but instead ordering an Uber, he decided to dial 911 for a police or escort. That's exactly what 24. 24 year old Adam Vaughn did in Windsor and our Jews in New Jersey. I know. [00:09:29] Speaker B: That was amazing. Continue. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Hammered. On December 23rd, East Windsor Police had to intervene when Vaughn allegedly made a series of 17 calls to 911 not for emergencies, but to request a ride to the nearest Wawa store in the highest town. It seems that Vaughn was adamant about getting his hands on some Wawa goodies. However, the police were not about to turn into a taxi service for Vaughn's snack runs. Instead of fulfilling his unusual request, they paid him a visit at the Windsor Hotel where he was staying to advise him to cease misusing emergency hotline. [00:10:11] Speaker B: You can go to jail for this kind of shit, right? [00:10:13] Speaker A: Oh yeah, he did. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Despite being warned after his initial 911 calls is strictly for emergencies, V persisted in his attempts to secure a police escort to Wawa. His repeated m use of the system led to his eventual arrest. Yeah. After his 17th call, Vaugh found himself in handcuffs, facing not only the consequences of misusing 911, but also receiving a criminal summons for obstructions. It seems his craving for Wah wah has landed him in some hot water with a law. And it didn't say Wa Watcher. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Nah, but it was funnier when you said it. [00:10:59] Speaker A: It was great. I'm fucking hilarious when I'm drunk sometimes. Sometimes. Jesus Christ. [00:11:07] Speaker B: Sometimes. [00:11:08] Speaker A: Like, my, my, my wife fucking does not appreciate my comedy. And I'm like, I like anytime I get on stage. [00:11:17] Speaker B: Okay. I'm only going to appreciate your good comedy because I'm here to support you. I'm not going to tell you that your bad comedy was good. Like, I'm giving you the opportunity to improve. [00:11:30] Speaker A: You ever have those days where your wife doesn't support you but says she does? [00:11:38] Speaker B: I'm always supporting you in the positive ways. You're not gonna get like, I'm not gonna give you like a you participated reward for your bad jokes. [00:11:50] Speaker A: You'd be a great millennial mother. I. I would appreciate if you just reason. [00:11:55] Speaker B: This is one of the reasons why I'm not a mom. [00:11:59] Speaker A: Like, like everyone that I know that's like a mother, like hates it secretly, but like on the outside to people they don't know. Like, I love my child. Like my mom, she's like, I love my. My sons. All of them. They're all great. They're all gifts from God. I'm like, Mom, I was a fucking little demon. Like, I don't. I don't think you know what God gives you. Like, I love calling my mom and making her feel uncomfortable. [00:12:34] Speaker B: That's impossible. [00:12:35] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's very possible. [00:12:37] Speaker B: Okay, well, no, no, no. Back to your previous statement. It doesn't matter about you or your siblings. Your mom loves me the most. [00:12:45] Speaker A: Yeah, because you're like the daughter in law. Neither of my brothers are married. I'm the only one that's married. Out of like all of us. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Mm. [00:12:54] Speaker C: And you're never gonna have kids. [00:12:56] Speaker A: Never. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Which your mom approves of because she knows. [00:13:01] Speaker A: She's like, you know, like every time I talk to her about my birth, she's like, you destroyed my pussy in my hip. Every. Like I remember it. And sometimes my hip falls out of place because you broke it because you were a ten pound baby. [00:13:16] Speaker B: Okay. Nah. One day Teddy is going to find his wife and me and her are going to be besties. And then we will take over the world. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Or you will. [00:13:26] Speaker A: I mean, I've like, if I was to have an over under, I'd feel like Anthony would get married first. [00:13:36] Speaker B: I feel kind of bad because I know absolutely nothing about Anthony because I've only ever had hang out with Tony. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like they're both my little brothers. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Or Teddy. I'm sorry, there's like your mom's Tony and then your brother's Teddy and they both start with a T. My mom. [00:13:54] Speaker A: Is Antoinette and she's the one that got away without getting her head chopped off. [00:14:02] Speaker B: It's cuz your mom's a bam. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Do you know what BAM stands for? [00:14:07] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:10] Speaker C: What does it stand for? [00:14:12] Speaker A: Yeah, the Bam feet. B A M, F. Don't mansplain it. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Continue to your next story. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Don't mansplain it. [00:14:25] Speaker B: Don't. [00:14:27] Speaker A: All right, Courtney, so you know, back when men were, you know, on in. In charge of everything, you know, for like the past, forever until today. You know, like now women are in charge of. But like we were badass and we. We made up the word BAMF because we're dumb. [00:14:59] Speaker B: It's an acronym, not a word. [00:15:02] Speaker A: Acronyms can be words too. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Acronym is a word, but not our word. [00:15:08] Speaker A: Acronyms can be words. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Fine. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Thank you. Like asap. [00:15:17] Speaker B: You'll pay for that later. I continue. [00:15:20] Speaker A: ASAP is a word. Yo, give me that ASAP word. Right? [00:15:25] Speaker B: That's. That is slang. [00:15:28] Speaker A: As soon as possible. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Pigeon toe. [00:15:31] Speaker A: Doctors will say it, police will say it, professionals will say, give me that asap. Dude. [00:15:37] Speaker B: Pigeon toes. [00:15:38] Speaker A: Boom. [00:15:39] Speaker B: Cuz. Pigeons are domesticated, and now they're feral poor things. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Like. Like people that say LOL out loud. I want to punch them in the face. I hate these people. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Okay, there's Lo saying LOL or saying lol. Both are shitty options. [00:15:57] Speaker A: Like, if you, like, someone says something funny and you're like, lol. Yeah, I. I want to hit you. I want to damage your face. [00:16:08] Speaker B: Okay, well, no, I don't say lol. I say, oh, that was funny. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Like, comedians would much rather laughter rather than lol. [00:16:22] Speaker B: No, that's just, like, white. That's. It's not a good. And it's not a good representation of your character if you're choosing it. [00:16:31] Speaker A: Yeah, it's fine. I have a. I have a comedy set on Monday, and I do not know what I'm gonna say. [00:16:38] Speaker B: One of them five laughs are actual, general, genuine humor. The West. The rest are for social interactions. [00:16:46] Speaker A: See, like, the laughs I get at comedy are for, you know, hardcore laughter. Because I get, like, three of them per set. I'm like. Like three. Like, trifecta. Like, there was once that I did and I went last on purpose. I told the host, I'm like, I'm gonna go last. You know, if anyone signs up after me, push me after them, I'm going to walk people. I'm going to say some horrendous shit on stage. And so I went up and I did my entire set, and my old perverted old man friend Drew in the back of the room was the only person laughing, you know, which I. That. That's how I knew it was bad. And then my friend Andy, who's also a comic and now the host of my show, walks up to me. He's like, hey, I need to talk to you. [00:17:46] Speaker B: Oh, my God, you pissed off Andy. [00:17:49] Speaker A: I pissed off Andy. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Babe, you can't piss off Andy. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. [00:17:55] Speaker A: And I'm like, andy, I understand what I did. That's why I went last. [00:18:02] Speaker B: I'm on Andy's side in this situation. [00:18:04] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, no, I'm. Everyone's on Andy's side. [00:18:06] Speaker B: Everyone looks good. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Like, last week, last Monday, we had a comedy set or a comedy show, and Andy wasn't there. And everyone was asking about Andy, like, where's Annie? Where's. And I'm like, he's fucking gone this week. I don't know. I'm not bothering him. I'll. I'll tell him next week that you all missed him. But. But, yeah, he pulled me aside. He's like, hey, I Need to talk to you. If you do sets like that, I cannot put you on shows. [00:18:41] Speaker B: Good. I'm glad Andy called you out. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Well, no, I, like, I, he wasn't the one running the show back then, but I'm like, yeah, dude, I know. I, that. That's why I purposely put myself the very last. After everyone has, you know, gone and one person in the back of the room laughing is like a terrible sign. And I, I believe I've deleted the footage of that. Of that show because. [00:19:17] Speaker C: Which show was it? [00:19:19] Speaker A: It was a. I record all my open mic comedy sets and yeah, I've like deleted that footage because it was just my friend Drew in the back cackling way too hard because he understood what I was doing and he was just laughing at the absurdity of it. And everyone else was just appalled. Like, what is happening? And I, I loved it. Every second of it. Every second of silence. I'm just like, silence. This feels so good. It's like when a cop, you know, pulls you in for a interrogation and doesn't say. After you say something, just write down, I. I don't remember where I'm at. But let's go into the next story. Mexico is testing a cell phone app that allows migrants to send alerts if they're about to be detained in the U.S. this is amazing. [00:20:36] Speaker B: I approve of this. [00:20:39] Speaker A: Mexico is developing a cell phone app that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. [00:20:44] Speaker B: It's like the red light camera shit. [00:20:46] Speaker A: The move is in response to President elect Donald Trump threats to carry out mass deportations coming after he takes office on January 20th. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Shocker. [00:20:57] Speaker A: The app has been rolled out in small scale testing and appears to be working very well. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Fantastic. [00:21:06] Speaker A: He said the app would allow users to press the tab that would send an alert notification to previously chosen relatives in the nearest Mexican consulate, the La Fronte. That's French as. Dude. [00:21:25] Speaker B: What if people, like, what if, like, these individuals get out of Mexico only to show up in America? And then it's worse. Like, what do they do? Do they stay or they go back? [00:21:34] Speaker A: Oh, no. Mexico is really bad. [00:21:38] Speaker B: I know. Like, I don't know. Actually, I said that, but I honestly don't know. [00:21:43] Speaker A: Well, like, I, I do have, you know, friends from Mexico, you know, they, they, you know, came here from, like, Mexico City. [00:21:52] Speaker B: You like brown? Shouldn't you say Mexico? [00:21:56] Speaker A: No, no, absolutely not. No, I'm not gonna say Mexico. No. But I don't care. [00:22:02] Speaker B: Okay. [00:22:03] Speaker A: I'm not gonna be me. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Did I just say something racist? [00:22:07] Speaker A: Probably, but I don't like X. [00:22:12] Speaker B: Okay. It's a dreadful noise. [00:22:15] Speaker A: Yeah, People in Mexico don't like Latinx either. You know, Latina, Latino, you know, but, you know, white people are like Latinx, you know, that way, you know, nobody gets offended. It's like, no. [00:22:29] Speaker B: Well, no, they need a gender neutral. Like, all of. All of Latin is like either he or she pronouns. They need. They need their own pronoun. Sorry, I don't mean to be getting woke right now. Continue. [00:22:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you're getting woke as. [00:22:44] Speaker B: I'm sorry. Yeah, actually, I'm not sorry, but continue with your story. [00:22:49] Speaker A: People in Mexico hate that. I'm sorry. [00:22:52] Speaker B: I tried. I'm right. I can't help it. [00:22:54] Speaker A: I feel this is what happens. White people. [00:22:58] Speaker B: I'm just a young Karen who's, like. [00:23:00] Speaker A: On the wrong side with her white savior complex. It's fine. [00:23:05] Speaker B: I hate that you're, like, low key, right? [00:23:09] Speaker A: You know, like. Like, I. I know plenty of people from Mexico, you know, truly from Mexico. [00:23:19] Speaker B: They're not a nice noise. [00:23:24] Speaker A: You know, like the Gomezes and the. You know, like, I'm okay with Z's. [00:23:28] Speaker B: But I don't like X's. [00:23:31] Speaker A: It. It's fine. But, you know, they. They'll be like, it's easier to make money here in the United States to bring their family over and, you know, get them all in the United States legally and, you know, make a better life for themselves. Because not every place in Mexico is a, you know, phenomenal, great place. And America does afford that ability to, you know, make it better. So. But at the same time, if you're over here illegally, you know, go back and do it legally. It sucks. Like, there's a fucking tent city on the other side of the border, and, you know, bad shit happens there and the United States can't get involved. Like, they can see it. I'm like, oh, that's awful. Oh, my God. But the United States can't fucking invade into Mexico to stop it. So, you know, that. That does truly suck. But if you're over here legally, you know, not paying taxes or actually pay all the taxes, then, you know, go back, try it again. Yeah, that. That. That does suck. Bring your family over. [00:25:03] Speaker B: And taxes. [00:25:04] Speaker C: You know who Hirohito is? [00:25:07] Speaker B: No. Continue. [00:25:10] Speaker C: Oh, well, I was going on Mad Lads because I wanted to show you something on it, and I was scrolling a little bit down and it said, so our school took us bowling, and they have Churchill, Adolf, Mussolini, Stalin, and Hirohito. Do you know who he is? [00:25:28] Speaker B: I don't know who Hirohito is. And I feel bad for not knowing that, actually. Please enlighten me. [00:25:34] Speaker A: I desire not Hirohito. [00:25:38] Speaker C: Hand roll, man. The creepy can roll Manito got bombed. Wait. Huh? [00:25:48] Speaker A: See what Wikipedia has to say. Oh, look, they're asking for money off wikipedia. He was 124th Emperor of Japan according to blah, blah, blah, resigning. [00:26:06] Speaker C: Oh. So basically he was probably part of the access of evil and that's why he's there. [00:26:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, Japan sided with Hitler, so. [00:26:19] Speaker C: Yep. It's funny because he probably would have killed them sooner or later. I mean, it was just the weirdest thing ever. [00:26:30] Speaker A: I've already donated. [00:26:32] Speaker B: No, they thought they saw the winning horse and they went with it. [00:26:39] Speaker A: Following the surrender of Japan, Emperor Himarito was not prosecuted for war crimes at the Tokyo War Crimes Tribunal, even though the Japanese wage war in his name. So, yeah, I mean, he. He was the. [00:27:03] Speaker B: Yeah, let's scroll down. I'm actually reading this. Pause. [00:27:08] Speaker C: My God. [00:27:11] Speaker A: He died at 87 years old. I mean, like, I. Like, every time, you know, people complain about the Holocaust, I'm like, yeah, that was awful. You know, let's learn from what happened there and make sure that doesn't happen again. [00:27:37] Speaker B: Okay, so he was the emperor. He was, like, in charge of Japan when the atomic bombs had happened. Like, he was. He wasn't, like. He was like, the emperor when it happened. [00:27:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he fucking probably. [00:27:51] Speaker B: And he surrendered afterwards. [00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, he surrendered to the United States. [00:27:55] Speaker B: Because what the fuck else are you supposed to do after having your country bombed by two atomic bombs? Like there's nothing else to do. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Yeah, in two highly populated areas, too. [00:28:07] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's fucking. It's. There's no words to describe the horrific. There's no words to describe. [00:28:17] Speaker A: You know, at that point, it's like, oh, fucking Germany hates America. I'm gonna go with Germany. Like, I. I don't blame this guy at all. [00:28:26] Speaker B: No, he chose his side. There's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is this. His actions after that. Yeah, I'm not quite sure I can. I can stand behind the statement that I made. I'm not going to lie. [00:28:40] Speaker A: I'm kind of glad that he lived to a long, you know, old age, you know, like, yeah, we. You know, they did, you know, Pearl harbor and fucked up, you know, Hawaii, which wasn't really even ours. [00:28:57] Speaker B: Okay, see, one little funny story. So my grandpa was there the day Pearl harbor happened. And so. So my grandpa was part of the Navy, right? So when they first saw the airplane, you know how, like, different, you know, how like different sections, like there's an army, navy, air force and whatever. And they have their own kind of like whatever, like, oh, I'm this so fuck you, cuz you're that. So when my grandpa said they first saw the planes, they're like, ah, it's just the airports fucking around and being dicks and didn't even think about the possibility of it being attack. And then like last second when I, when I started shooting, they're like, oh, it's not the air force, we're under attack. It's my grandpa's exact words when it happened. [00:29:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean that, that they just. [00:29:42] Speaker B: Thought it was the air force being idiots. [00:29:47] Speaker A: Well, I mean like, so what happened is Japan came over here on boats. [00:29:51] Speaker B: Like that idea was so preposterous. Never even thought about it at that point in time from their point of view at the, from what they were able to accomplish as a navy. [00:30:01] Speaker A: Well, I mean they, they, they sunk the USS Arizona. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Yep. [00:30:07] Speaker A: And they up a couple other boats. [00:30:09] Speaker B: Yep. [00:30:10] Speaker A: Dropped a bunch of bombs. Yep. And you know, it's like, oh, cool. And then we're like, hey, we're gonna put the sun on your island twice and kill a bunch of fucking people way more than you ever fucking killed. We're going to return the favor 100 million fold. [00:30:29] Speaker B: And this was America versus Japan and Vice versa. And not. And like the entire native community was just shoved to the side. [00:30:38] Speaker A: You want to know something that's really fucked up? Is America tested nuclear weapons, you know, like right outside of fucking Hawaii. [00:30:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:48] Speaker A: And they've covered it up. [00:30:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:50] Speaker A: And they're like, yeah, we'll just put concrete over the top of it. And people in the local islands are having problems and you know, we just shove it to the side. We're like, yeah, it's not, it's a non issue. It's. Who cares? [00:31:03] Speaker B: It's a non issue. Except for B movies. [00:31:09] Speaker A: B movies? [00:31:10] Speaker B: B movies. [00:31:12] Speaker A: I mean. [00:31:14] Speaker B: There are so many absolutely dreadful black and white movies about animals or humans being mutated by exposure to the omic bomb, the atomic bomb, and like trashing cities and trying to take over the US but are eventually shot down by the US army because at the end of the day, you got to hush it up. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, you know, America, the white savior. Yes. [00:31:44] Speaker B: Oh my. [00:31:45] Speaker A: I mean, there was a movie like way back in the day that portrayed the KKK as like the white saviors. And like the government was portrayed as like, like the government, like black people were portrayed as like the government and being lazy and it all up and, you know, the white KKK came through and saved the day. And that's what like, revitalized the kkk, you know, as a whole. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Social media has an influence that is beyond. [00:32:20] Speaker A: Oh, this is way before social media. [00:32:22] Speaker B: I know, but the whole point is it was a movie, right? And people had access to the movie. Like that is social media. But it is. It's just not what we see today. [00:32:38] Speaker A: On to the next story. Baby bird found alive inside man's stomach after being swallowed during a fertility ritual. [00:32:47] Speaker B: Like dead? [00:32:50] Speaker A: The baby bird was dead or. [00:32:53] Speaker B: No. Is a human dead or not? [00:32:57] Speaker A: The sudden death of a 35 year old man. So no, he said. Became more shocking when his autopsy revealed a live baby bird potentially swallowed as a part of an occult fertility ritual. Apparently the fertility ritual failed. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Wait, so he choked on a live bird? He choked on a chick. [00:33:24] Speaker A: Apparently he ate the bird whole and unanned. Yadav of. I'm trying my best. [00:33:35] Speaker B: No, you are failing now just continue. If you're not going to take the time to look up in Google how to pronounce the name and then blunder your way through it on purpose. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Okay, fine. I'll look it up right now. That. That way, you know, my. My wife can, you know, feel way better. [00:33:54] Speaker B: I'm a white savior, okay? [00:33:57] Speaker A: She is a pr. [00:33:58] Speaker B: You know, I just wanna be. I just want to be respectful in. I just want to not say bad things. But sometimes not addressing bad things is a bad thing. And I don't know what to do when I'm in that situation. [00:34:16] Speaker C: People are like so overthinkers now. [00:34:19] Speaker B: I know, Courtney. [00:34:20] Speaker C: And I'm living your life. [00:34:21] Speaker B: The following pronunciation is brought to you by pronouncenames.com. [00:34:26] Speaker A: You don't have to have a men to have yadav. There we go, you dove. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:34:34] Speaker A: Are you happy? [00:34:36] Speaker B: I am very happy. Please continue. I could cry. I'm really happy. [00:34:43] Speaker A: In a place in India. Collapse at home after feeling dizzy and fainting shortly after taking a bath. Hindustan Times reported that he was rushed to a nearby hospital where doctors initially puzzled out about the cause of death. During the autopsy, Dr. Bag discovered a live chick approximately 20 centimeters long lodged in his throat. The chick had obstructed his. [00:35:13] Speaker B: He choked on the chick. [00:35:16] Speaker A: The chick had obstructed his airway and food passage, causing asphyxiation. And the chick survived. [00:35:27] Speaker B: Well, they're fucking dinosaurs. Of course they survived. Birds have been around longer than we have. Avian dinosaurs survived. [00:35:38] Speaker A: That's hilarious. [00:35:40] Speaker C: Hey, Alex, what if a panhandler had a sign that said, if you have a small penis, smile. If you have the big one, put a coin in. What would you do? [00:35:52] Speaker B: Obviously, put the coin in. [00:35:54] Speaker A: I would smile. [00:35:55] Speaker B: Oklahoma. [00:35:56] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I think you should put both. Do both. Because then you'll say. You'll be able to say your average. [00:36:06] Speaker A: Jesus. Let's do Am I the? And relationship advice and get out of here before I, you know, go insane. Am I the for leaving my partner at home because OCD made me late for a dinner party at a restaurant by Fit Confection. 772. My partner has OCD and has been progressive, progressively worsening over the past year. Before we leave the house, he has a routine of doing physical and mental checks. Those chicks have been. Those checks have been taking longer and longer. It has become such a problem that we are running late to almost everything. I gently encourage him to seek professional help, but he refuses and insists he can manage on his own. Two weeks ago, we were invited to a dinner party at a restaurant hosted by my boss. Oh. It's recently promoted, and this was an important opportunity to celebrate and make a good impression. Knowing how long and his checks take, I asked him to start getting ready two hours before we needed to leave. Even with the extra time, his take check still took him 30 minutes and we were running late. I was panicking about showing up to such an important event, so I told him I couldn't wait any longer and left without him. I ended up being five minutes late and told my co workers that traffic was bad. No one seemed to care, but my partner was still mad at me two weeks later. He said I was insensitive and that I should have waited for him. I feel like I couldn't risk it being even later for something that is so significant to my career. I don't want to be unsupportive, but his OCD has been affecting both of us and it refuses to get help. I am. Am I the asshole for leaving him at home? [00:38:05] Speaker B: Work parties are dumb and I hate them. [00:38:08] Speaker A: But OP got a fucking promotion. And it was, you know, a way to say, hey, you know. [00:38:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it was networking and involved her job. Plus, it. It. In one of the. I think in one of the comments, doesn't she say it takes him 30 minutes to do his check? [00:38:28] Speaker A: Opie said, you know, added an edit. I wanted to add that during his text, I cannot talk, otherwise he has to start his checks all over. Yep. [00:38:39] Speaker C: It takes a long time for him to do it. So it's like he needs Help. [00:38:45] Speaker A: He needs professional help. He needs therapy. [00:38:48] Speaker C: Yeah. Op is if after this he didn't agree to go to therapy, quite honestly, I'd end it. [00:38:58] Speaker A: I mean, like, don't end it over that. But it's like, you know, also, don't wait. [00:39:09] Speaker B: Yeah, it would be too annoying. [00:39:11] Speaker C: Especially if it takes half hour and you know he's not gonna change. It would drive me insane. [00:39:17] Speaker B: So, like, sometimes it takes me a long time to get out of the house. And if I know it's going to take me a long time, I start earlier before the time to leave the house. Like, if I know I'm going to take longer. [00:39:28] Speaker C: Like him to, like, exactly control himself. [00:39:32] Speaker B: Exactly. Like, if I know I'm going to take a longer time, I'm going to start earlier because I want to leave the house on time. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, and if he doesn't want to change, the actions have consequences. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:39:46] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, get him into therapy. [00:39:49] Speaker B: Well, no, it's. It's not Opie's job to get her boyfriend to the therapy. If the boyfriend does decides to do it on his own or not. Op is not his mother. Either her boyfriend decides to change or he doesn't. Yeah, it's not Op's responsibility to make him change. [00:40:10] Speaker A: Well, I mean, OCD is, you know, not something that you can really control. [00:40:16] Speaker B: Not if you're doing anything to address it. [00:40:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:19] Speaker A: I mean, even so. Yeah. [00:40:22] Speaker C: Yeah. But I mean, she says it's gotten worse. So, like, obviously if it's starting to affect them that much, then he needs to do stuff to mitigate it. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Yes, he does. [00:40:32] Speaker A: I mean, if he refuses to do anything to mitigate it, then, yeah, then maybe I'd say, you know, fucking give him an ultimatum. [00:40:44] Speaker B: But ultimatums are not good things. [00:40:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I know, it sucks, right? You know, otherwise you just fucking leave them and leave like a OCD person, you know, high and dry. I mean, I, I feel upset if you just left me high and dry because of my mental issues, but. [00:41:04] Speaker B: But you're not addressing your mental issues and that's your responsibility. So you can't be sad, but you're. [00:41:12] Speaker A: Married to me, so, you know, tough. [00:41:14] Speaker B: You have to do ocd. [00:41:17] Speaker A: No, I, I never said I did have ocd. [00:41:20] Speaker B: Well, don't. Don't put yourself in the same situation. [00:41:24] Speaker A: I have mental issues, though. [00:41:26] Speaker B: Everyone does. [00:41:29] Speaker A: I mean, I have like, slight, like, like, you know, diet ocd. I'm like. But not, not even anything close to real ocd. And it's fine. But, you know, comments say your partner really needs help, it's now affecting quality of life. To be honest, I would have left as well. Your partner can't have both ways. Either seek professional help or understand that you'll sometimes need to have set reasonable boundaries. I mean, if it's not a huge issue, if it's only for like weird things like this, then it's fine. But. [00:42:09] Speaker C: Well, no, if he's upset at her for leaving, he like he asked like he's getting upset at her for leaving though. [00:42:18] Speaker A: I mean, if you only have one car, then yeah, it's kind of shitty. But if you have two cars, then it's on him. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Well, we don't know how many cars they have. [00:42:24] Speaker A: Nope. And we never will because I'll never follow up with this. [00:42:30] Speaker C: Nope. [00:42:32] Speaker A: Onto Relationship Advice by A.D. haynes. My mother in law, 65, female, is asking my 34 female wedding ring back twice after you haven't had kids. My husband, 40 male, and I, 34 female, have been married for nine years. Congratulations. That's a long time. His family has been absolutely horrible for about seven of those. Everyone is local to our area. Oh, Reader's digestion. You are great, Opie. You're a godsend. Mother in law, 65, used to be a real estate agent, firm manager and she helped my brother in law after his affair while his wife was pregnant with twins, secretly purchased home while lying to his wife. Brother in law, then two timed wife and mistress for three years. My mother in law. Okay, you're terrible. Reader Digest enabled and lied to help him get it secretly, truly. Get it. Keep it secretly secret. Truly. Six years ago, mother in law is discovered to have committed wire fraud, escrow fraud and potential embezzlement of 300000 from a real estate firm. IRS is investigated and cannot find evidence enough to charge her criminally for embezzlement. But mother in law did not lose her real estate license permanently. Her mom paid off the other crimes and settled outside of court. Mother in law has since been on the verge of third bankruptcy while trying to sell life insurance. Okay. Yeah, you're terrible at Reader's Digest. Mother in law told me you caused brother in law to cheat. And when you and husband got married, brother in law lost his entire support and best friend. We sat down, had a conversation with mother in law and father in law about his other issues. It was received but not really improved after. Jesus Christ. You are terrible at writing a story. Husband and I. So apparently mother in law asked for the wedding ring after you said you hadn't had kids. Yeah, you are terrible at Writing a story. I, I appreciate the fact that you broke it up into, you know, paragraphs, but either I can't read or you're a terrible writer. [00:45:18] Speaker C: I mean, they're probably a terrible writer. [00:45:21] Speaker A: Two things can be true. I mean, I'll. I can send this to you, Courtney, and you, you can see if like this ever makes sense. Yeah. Let me see. Boom. Boom. Copy that. Let's go over here. [00:45:48] Speaker C: News. [00:45:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Tell me if like re. Read this like over really quick and tell me if that makes any goddamn sense. Three years ago in Christmas, we had mother in law, father in law over for Christmas. Mother in law waited for a husband to leave the room and ask my. Ask for my heirloom wedding ring back. Husband overheard and came back in and mother in law said it was because she wanted to stay in the family with a grandchild. And since we haven't had kids, we said absolutely not. It was my ring. This year on Christmas, she asked for it back again, once again claiming she wanted to give it to one of our nieces. 3 year old product to her brother in law, a fan. [00:46:33] Speaker C: So basically she keeps on going. His mother in law wants the a wedding ring back. [00:46:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Because they haven't had kids and she wants to give it to the niece. [00:46:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:47] Speaker A: When is enough enough? I'm tired of even going to one event per year and getting emotionally abused at the end of it. I'm ready to go. No contact. And I don't want to put my husband in a situation where he has to choose between, you know, the marriage is wonderful, but his family is just too much. We have amazing and friends and chosen family. Yeah. Your mother in law. Okay. You know, tough. If you give someone a gift, it's their gift, you know, just done. That sucks, you know. Oh, you want to keep it in the family? Who cares? You're gonna be dead in 20 years off. [00:47:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:31] Speaker A: Dumb idiot. It's fine, Opie. You've done nothing wrong. Keep the ring. If they really want to continue down this path because you don't have kids and they want to keep this heirloom, you know, ring, they. They should have written a contract, you know, when they gave it to you, they didn't. They up. Guess what? Lesson goddamn learned. You know, sometimes, you know, you don't get what you want. Guess what? You know, learn a lesson. Idiots. [00:48:11] Speaker C: Yep. [00:48:14] Speaker A: And if you die, then, you know, just, you know, if your mother in law was tactful, she can be like, hey, can you put the, you know, ring in your will to where, you know, it passes down to someone still in the family that carries the family name. Boom. Tactful, okay, not a problem. If I don't have kids, I will pass it down to someone in the family still with family name. Not a problem. You know, be a tactful. Don't be a tacky and you know, everything works the out, you know, Stop it, stop it, stop it. All right, but, but that, that's it. See if the comments say go non, go non contact, easy. If she wants to continue, enough is enough for you. Cut them off. Enjoy the peace. I rarely see my in laws and don't stop my in husband from seeing them. I don't make him choose. I simply say that I'm not going. But have a great time. Holidays are no issue because I can see my husband every day. If he isn't here on the obligatory, obligatory date, then so be it. He recognizes toxicity and just stays present enough. You can do the same. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you can go. No contact. It's not your mother, it's a mother in law. They decided to give you a ring. That sucks for them. If they're, you know, butt hurt about it, you can write it into your will. You can have it, you know, burnt. You can be buried with it. Who cares? Yeah, like that. Like, if you want to be spiteful, get a grave plot. Get buried with it. If you want to, you know, try and like enjoy the piece, you know, if you could, like, right, like in your will. If you don't have a kid, you know, goes to this person. If you do have a kid, it goes to your kid, obviously. But we're gonna go ahead and end it there. I am still hammered and I'm surprised I've made it this long. I don't even know how long I made it. Thank you for listening to my random ramblings. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Is this the last podcast of the year? [00:50:50] Speaker A: This is the last podcast. [00:50:51] Speaker B: All right, everybody, I lost the game. [00:50:55] Speaker C: Bye, guys. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Bye. [00:50:57] Speaker C: See you next year. [00:50:59] Speaker A: Yeah, whatever. See you next year, idiots.