AITA

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alrighty. Alrighty, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Human podcast. We got Courtney with us this week. Well, I don't have, like, the, you know, audience cheering button. Ready? I should. I should get my buttons back. I can. I'm just a lazy piece of shit. What? [00:00:21] Speaker B: What? I'm just dancing. [00:00:22] Speaker A: I'm sorry. My wife is looking at me like the. Yeah. Yarn. She's giving me that look. [00:00:28] Speaker B: I cannot stim with my hands, therefore I must stim with other body parts. Please don't put it out. [00:00:35] Speaker A: Autistic people. Just like, autistic men. Just stim with her penis. Yeah, I know. That's gross. Did you get it? [00:00:47] Speaker B: Annoyed. Okay. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Was it there? [00:00:49] Speaker B: It's. Yeah, it's there. [00:00:51] Speaker A: Okay. [00:00:53] Speaker B: I'm just fucking paranoid about it. [00:00:56] Speaker A: So my wife got fish that she has been killing regularly. [00:01:03] Speaker B: No, I am day two with no dead fish. This is the first time ever I have killed eleven fish. [00:01:11] Speaker A: She's had fish for, like, two weeks. Killed at least, you know, three a day. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Okay. The first half was really bad because when I built a filter, somehow the part that stops your fish from being sucked up into the filter didn't make it into the filter as it was assembled. And so my fish were literally getting sucked up because there was a part missing. And now I have a different filter that still sucked up one fish, but it was one of the little thin mini ones, and he was going to die anyway. So the lemon slices, my little, like, they're like yellow zebra shark, thump, thump somethings. I call them lemon slices. They are living. And I have three red eyes and one's, like, always up top, and the other two are always hiding in the reed. So I keep freaking out, and I'm like, shit, is one dead? No, no, no. They're just where I can't see them. But I am day two with no dead fish. This has never happened. And I have to do the water change tomorrow, and I'm really terrified. [00:02:08] Speaker A: Why do you have to do a water change? [00:02:09] Speaker B: Cause you have to do a water change every two weeks. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Oh, I. I would be awful at fucking having an aquarium. That's your responsibility. [00:02:17] Speaker B: Oh, my God. No. I have taken on so much responsibility. I'm like, are you sure you need. [00:02:22] Speaker C: To do it every two weeks? [00:02:24] Speaker A: That seems like a little much. [00:02:27] Speaker C: Yeah, like people may be doing one once a month or something like that. [00:02:32] Speaker A: My dad has an aquarium, like, an even bigger one than you. You can ask him. [00:02:36] Speaker B: Okay. I have gone to the pet fish department and every day for the last. [00:02:42] Speaker A: And obviously their advice is you know, keep killing your fish and bringing them back. We'll give you new ones for free. [00:02:49] Speaker C: Really? [00:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:50] Speaker B: Okay. No, I've spoken with all of them, and some of them have slightly different opinions on how often to do the water change. And I personally have agreed with the two week theory. [00:03:00] Speaker A: So I feel like it's not the entire amount of the water. [00:03:05] Speaker B: No, it's only 20%. [00:03:07] Speaker C: Yeah, it's not the time out. [00:03:09] Speaker A: Okay. It's like the way you made it sound is like you have, like an oil change. Like, you take out all the oil and then. And then put in fucking fresh oil. Yeah. I'm like, God damn. Then you have to, like, re season the water. No, it's a new if. Like, it, like a dead fish and, like, chop it up and, like, sprinkle a little bit in there just so, like, they're like, oh, yeah, we're home. So it smells like dead fish in there. [00:03:35] Speaker B: But there is no dead fish in there. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Yeah, but one got sucked up into your brand new filter, I guess. [00:03:41] Speaker B: Yeah, no, he got stuck. Like, he didn't, like, get, like, sucked up into it, but he got stuck. [00:03:45] Speaker A: Did he die? [00:03:45] Speaker B: Yeah, he had already been sucked up into the other filter once, so I'm sure he wasn't well. And I didn't know if it was more. And I don't. And I didn't know how to heal him humanely, so I kind of just let him, like, I don't know, suffer in his environment. Like, I didn't know what to do. I knew he was going to die. [00:04:03] Speaker A: You give him the mochi? [00:04:05] Speaker B: She already tried to eat a dead fish. [00:04:08] Speaker A: Yeah, she's a great cat. And out here in Colorado spring or in Colorado in general, it's been the fucking windiest day of the entire goddamn year. And driving home, there's about six fucking trucks on their sides. [00:04:29] Speaker C: Wow. [00:04:30] Speaker A: I know. And, like, I almost saw one flip, but I was there like, 2 seconds after it flipped. Like, I saw, like, I saw it going down the road. I saw it driving when I was in Wallstburg. And then I, like, go down to the gas station and then, like, a couple seconds after, like, I see, like, a bunch of emergency crews leave, like, zoom past me, and then there's still people in their cars. I'm like, yeah, this fucking idiot. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Has your truck ever been tipped over by wind? [00:05:09] Speaker A: No. You have to know how to drive in the wind. It is a delicate art. And if you let the wind push you too much and then you try and overcorrect, that's when the. The wind overcorrects and fucking tips your shit. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Yes. It is not fun driving in my prius in the wind. [00:05:28] Speaker A: Oh, you won't fucking flip in your prius. [00:05:30] Speaker B: No, but I feel like a kite. [00:05:32] Speaker A: Oh, imagine having a giant box, you know, like a 40 foot fucking empty box, and then the wind just keeps on pushing it. [00:05:43] Speaker B: I had to grip the steering wheel so hard, and my hands did not appreciate it. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I was just, like, one handing it. I'm like, I don't care. Flip me if you're gonna flip me. I don't give a shit. And it didn't. [00:05:57] Speaker B: It's fun to be the expert. [00:06:00] Speaker A: No, it's just I've been doing this shit for eight years. [00:06:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:04] Speaker A: And I know how to fucking drive this shit. Like, I was up on Wolf Creek pass, and there is a fucking shit. Like a safeway truck that was flipped in the snow. [00:06:15] Speaker B: Poor Safeway. [00:06:17] Speaker A: I'm like, oh, no, this idiot was driving bread and he flipped. [00:06:24] Speaker C: Driving what? [00:06:25] Speaker A: Bread. [00:06:26] Speaker C: What does that mean? [00:06:28] Speaker A: Safeway. That's all they fucking really do is bread. [00:06:32] Speaker B: No, they're like, okay. They're like, they're evolving into a trader Joe's, too, to be honest. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah, they've had years to do that. [00:06:44] Speaker B: No, it's. It's so subtle, and I am so here for it. Like, they're really working on it. Oh, my God. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, Safeway has an app, so get on the level. Trader Joe's. [00:06:57] Speaker B: I've been to Safeway so many times, I'm confident walking through the aisles. I'm not scared and alone and terrified. [00:07:04] Speaker A: I have no idea where anything is in the local safeways. [00:07:07] Speaker B: There are two safeways, and they're both organized differently. So it's a 50 50 chance whether I know where something is or not. [00:07:12] Speaker A: Nope. I just ask people. I'm like, where the fuck is this? Because I don't want to be in there longer than I have to be. I don't want to get fucking judged by, like, middle aged people with three kids. Like, I'm an expert at going the Safeway. I'm like, I'm just here for fucking pop tarts and truck snacks. Like, I'm not here for the regular shit. [00:07:34] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Have you ever really had. [00:07:36] Speaker C: Did you start the podcast? [00:07:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Good. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Yeah, we've been fucking ripping and roaring this entire goddamn time. Oh, yeah. This is how I always started. Just with a little bit of fucking, you know, personal anecdotes and, you know, just something to keep the shit interesting. I'm like, the only podcast out there that can still swear because I don't really have any advertisers, which is fun. [00:08:04] Speaker B: I thought you had ads running. [00:08:05] Speaker A: I do, but, like, not many. Not enough to where it's like, holy shit, the money's rolling in. [00:08:15] Speaker C: Really? [00:08:16] Speaker A: Yes. I do have ads. They just automatically fucking put them in. Like, I fucking. I'm like, hey, castos fucking run ads in my shit and pay me. And they're like, will do, boss. And then, you know, it doesn't even cover the cost of, you know, having castos, but it's still fine. I don't care. Yeah, I mean, they give me unlimited fucking everything until, like, I reach, like, a certain level of bandwidth, and then they're gonna be like, hey, pay us a little bit more. But for, you know, starting out, you know, like, I could literally record in, like, a different app and it'll just put it all in for me. And I don't have to do shit, but now I'm gonna do all my own shit. Fuck you. And I still talk about, you know, I'm gonna get this on YouTube. I don't. I don't really care that much. Yeah, fucking Google fucking killed their podcast app. I have to fucking talk about this. Google podcast was my fucking podcast app that I used religiously for years. I didn't use anything else. You know, fucking stitcher, like, disappeared. It had Levar Burton reads on it. And then they're like, okay, we're getting rid of Stitcher. I'm like, okay, fuck you guys. I don't care. And then they're like, okay, we're back. And I'm like, too late. [00:09:51] Speaker C: Oh, why? [00:09:54] Speaker A: And so now Google podcasts had all my business, and now they're like, you have to go over to YouTube music. And I'm like, final use, Spotify. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Google owns YouTube? [00:10:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Cool. Didn't know that. [00:10:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, whenever I'm on Chrome, Google owns Google Chrome, too. [00:10:15] Speaker B: I know that there's Google and the. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Name, but all these fucking apps, Google owns them all. So Google Meet, Gmail, you know, Google Drive, Google photos, Google translate. [00:10:27] Speaker B: Fucking boomer. It's embarrassing. [00:10:29] Speaker A: Yeah, it is. [00:10:30] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:10:31] Speaker A: You know, YouTube owns all this shit. Blogger, Google travels, Google voice. [00:10:37] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Google Ads. [00:10:43] Speaker B: Jesus Christ. [00:10:44] Speaker A: I do love fucking boomers, though. I love, you know how they sit there and they're like, you young people, you know, you want everything handed to you, and it's like, we have nothing handed to us at all, you know? Like, I look at all this shit and I'm like, if I want to buy. Like, I could not afford my house today. Like, if I was to buy this exact same house for the exact same price at the current fucking mortgage rates, there's no shot I could buy this house even if I had, like, a perfect 800 credit score. Nothing. Not even close. So, yeah, the boomers have really fucked shit up for us. And they got to, you know, enjoy all the fucking lax safety regulations, you know, easy taxes, cheap college and all that shit. And if they haven't made it in their life, you know, that's on them. [00:11:55] Speaker C: They wonder why we can't make it today. Because, like, housing costs and stuff like that are so ridiculous. Let me see. I think I put footage. Photos of, like, actual statistics. [00:12:07] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, even if, like, you know, Courtney lives in a tiny little town, and I can imagine, you know, just, you know, rent in her town. Like, rent in this town is a fucking ridiculous. Like, I watched my boss, you know, try and go apartment hunting while at work. It was adorable. He's like, I can't afford anything. There's nothing. [00:12:31] Speaker C: Yeah. So from 1985 to now, it's, like, been multiplied by 160% the rent price. And the household income has stayed, like, maybe 35% higher now. [00:12:53] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I'm looking at your area. A house for your area, $3,665 a month for rent. [00:13:07] Speaker C: Our little studio, that smaller house in the back. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:12] Speaker C: Is around 1300. And then the top of the barn. The barn apartment that has, like, slanted ceilings. It had it, like, 1600. [00:13:27] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'm looking at a two bedroom apartment, 1700, in your area? You know, Courtney doesn't live in, you know, a nice area. I live in Colorado Springs, and rent here is $2,000 plus. Yeah, so, you know, there's a reason why, you know, kids these days just kind of gave up. We need to get all the fucking boomers out of office. We need to, you know, just take back this fucking country. Are you okay, babe? What's wrong? [00:14:01] Speaker B: I'm just breathing. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Okay. I mean, I see people with kids, and it's like, no fucking shot. Like, you give up every fucking fun thing you're ever gonna do. It's like you have to sacrifice your entire life to raise kids, and then you get bitter that you have to sacrifice your entire fucking life just to, you know, raise somebody. You know, raise your kid, and it's like. It's shit. [00:14:34] Speaker B: I know, but that's your point of view, not theirs. [00:14:38] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I've talked to people with kids and they're like, yeah, this is exactly how it is you sacrifice your entire fucking life, and it's like, I don't want to do that. I'm a selfish asshole. I would much rather, you know, have my own shit. Yeah. I'd rather have guns on the wall, you know? Fuck. Like, I'm looking at getting a la z boy for my computer, right? Like, yeah. Like, I was looking at brand new ones, and I'm like, oh, dollar 300. That ain't bad. And then I, like, went on to Facebook at classifieds and, like, free. Come take it. I'm like, it smells like cigarettes and dog. I can already tell. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Oh, yes. Yeah. [00:15:20] Speaker C: Like, our other couch that you got for the downstairs living room. [00:15:25] Speaker A: I'm like, it. Is it worth, you know, an extra $300 to get one that's fresh? [00:15:32] Speaker B: That's up to you. I personally will get it afresh. It's a piece of furniture. [00:15:39] Speaker A: It would be the first fucking. [00:15:41] Speaker B: You don't know if there was semen on it or not. [00:15:44] Speaker A: The amount of fucking couches and furniture I've had, that's most definitely had semen on it. I'm like, yeah, whatever. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not. [00:15:54] Speaker A: I mean, I bought a bed brand new, but I got that from nectar. Like one of those fucking ship in a box. Unroll it and fucking. [00:16:04] Speaker B: It was an experience. [00:16:07] Speaker A: I mean, we've had that bed for, what, a decade? [00:16:10] Speaker B: I don't know. Do you like it? [00:16:11] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, honestly, I think they have, like, a free will. Take your old bed away, and if you buy a new one. So if they have that, you know, I might buy another one. [00:16:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:27] Speaker A: You know, this is what being an adult is about. Looking at furniture and, like, you know, you cross that threshold into adulthood when you're like, maybe I can buy something new. Maybe I can be the first one to have it. And if something goes wrong, I have to give it away for free because I've touched it. Like, furniture loses its value faster than a fucking car. [00:16:51] Speaker B: Exactly. So get it afresh. I mean, if you want name brand, you get the name brand. Don't get it afresh. [00:17:02] Speaker A: Or I can just, you know, fucking really, you know, give it a rinse out, reupholster the entire bitch, you know. [00:17:10] Speaker B: No, if you want a name brand, don't sell yourself short. Go get it. That's the whole point of a name brand. Getting it used is. Won't be as fun. [00:17:19] Speaker A: No, it's still fun. [00:17:21] Speaker B: It won't be as fun. [00:17:23] Speaker A: Well, I mean, like, my friend Wes, you know, brought me over a la z boy for free. Brought it over in his van, and I'm like, oh, cool. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Did you like it? [00:17:33] Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, it was the one in the nook. And then Wesley died. And I'm like, aw. [00:17:41] Speaker B: Who the fuck was Wesley? [00:17:44] Speaker A: He was one of my coworkers. You never met him? Yeah, he died in a motorcycle accident. [00:17:51] Speaker B: Oh, poor sod. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I liked him. He was a good dude. Um, but. But since Courtney was not here last week for all the fucking shenanigans of the April Fools episode, um, we have to do it one more time just for Courtney. [00:18:10] Speaker C: So what happened? [00:18:12] Speaker A: So last week we didn't do any news stories, and we're still not doing any news stories. Taiwan had an earthquake. Whatever. Fucking New Jersey had one too. You know, blah, blah, blah. The world's ending. Fucking some, you know, eclipse is happening on fucking the 8th there. That's all the news you're gonna get. [00:18:33] Speaker B: I know none of this. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, Taiwan had a big ass fucking earthquake. Buildings fell over. It was crazy. [00:18:41] Speaker B: It's an earthquake that happens. [00:18:42] Speaker A: A bunch of people died. New Jersey had one and no one died. But they're like, ah. And like, you know, some chick getting railed in the bed, it's like, oh, my man gave it to me extra hard. [00:18:54] Speaker B: We need more predators. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Well, an earthquake's not a great predator, but. So now we have a bunch of am I the assholes? Relationship advice. Am I wrong? All that kind of shit. I don't even think we're going to get to all of them, honestly. So let's jump right the fuck on in. R. Am I the asshole by kindlydance 8132 and I made fun of people having numbers on their name. That was a whole bit am I the asshole for wasting my money? My 24 female job gave me a dollar 500 gift card for a supermarket. Nice. I'm usually very careful with how I spend my money. When I want a snack, I'll choose the cheapest option. I eat cheap, wear cheap clothes, etcetera, because I'm saving for a house. Good for you, 24. Excellent. No shot, though. Get out of here. Wait for those fucking interest rates to go back down. When I got this card, for the first time in my life, I thought, fuck it. I'm gonna go and buy everything I always wanted. But I couldn't afford to buy. Just to be clear, I didn't buy junk food. I bought steak, meats and chicken and cheese, etcetera. It cost me $400. Now my mom is mad at me for wasting my gift card. She thinks I could let her do the shopping so she could buy more useful and cheaper options. I feel so guilty and awful right now that I can't stop crying and my mom is berating me, calling me an asshole. Now I regret telling her about the money at all. All. [00:20:24] Speaker B: Sorry your mom's that toxic. I'm sorry. [00:20:27] Speaker A: I mean, you know, here's the thing, op. You know, if you both fucking, you know, put in towards food and all that shit, and, like, you know, you're desperately fucking poor, and, you know, your mom's, like, letting you stay, you know, they're rent free, so you can save up for this house. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Yeah, there are missing details. [00:20:49] Speaker A: You know, like, missing details. There's 100% missing details. But if that is the, you know, case, then you should have, you know, been like, hey, mom, hey, I got $500 to use at the supermarket. You know, this should help out with food and all that shit, you know? Thank you for letting me stay here for free, but if she's making you pay rent and you fucking buy your own food and she buys her own food, fuck her. It's your fucking money. You know, you do whatever the fuck you want to do with your own goddamn money. Tell her to go suck a dick. Yeah. [00:21:23] Speaker B: Should not be made to feel bad. It's Opie's money. [00:21:27] Speaker A: Honestly. It was a gift card, so. [00:21:28] Speaker B: Exactly. And, okay, how much is $400 of groceries really going to get you? [00:21:34] Speaker A: One grocery visit. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:21:37] Speaker A: So, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, steaks are, like, $40. Chicken is probably 30. [00:21:43] Speaker B: The size I got today were, like, $5 each. [00:21:46] Speaker A: Nice. [00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, and shrimp was also on sale, so I grabbed a bag. [00:21:50] Speaker A: I mean, we went to Costco, and, like, we got, you know, cheap chicken, too. But let's see what the comments say. Not the asshole. Your money, your choice. I sort of relate when giving birthday money, I like to spend it on something I wouldn't otherwise do. You share a property with your mom and usually buy groceries together? I'm wondering if maybe your mother felt like it should have gone into shared finances. Op says no. She says I should save all my money. If I need the money, I should ask, but I don't really. But they don't really give me much money. And if I ask and I don't ask if I spend my own money, they get really me. Okay. It's a gift card. You're not, you know, you can't put that towards a house. [00:22:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:42] Speaker A: So, yeah, lesson learned. Don't talk with your mother about finances ever again. Enjoy your snacks. [00:22:49] Speaker C: Yeah, that. [00:22:49] Speaker A: That's really it. [00:22:50] Speaker B: That. [00:22:50] Speaker A: That says it all. You know, don't ever talk to your mom. If you get something nice. If you win the lottery, just, you know, keep it to your fucking self. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Yeah, she's gonna react like that. [00:23:01] Speaker A: So sorry about that, Opie. That sucks. Um, you're. You're not the asshole. Um, even if your mom was paying all the fucking bills, it's your fucking gift card. And if you're sharing the stakes with your mom, you know, tell her to, you know, get bent. Um. Am I the asshole by wakey, wakey, eggs and am I the asshole for being naked? While I talk to my male friends for context, I 27 female. I'm usually naked in some way. I live alone, so no one is bothered. I work for home and have virtual meetings, which I tend to Winnie the Pooh, shirt on, ass out. You know, it's called Donald ducking. But, you know, you learn something new every day. I don't have a lot of windows, and I keep my blinds closed. I just prefer being naked or in my underwear if no one is around. I am part of a friend group of gamers. We often play video games online and chat on Discord. I never really understood that. Mostly men, a few women. Often I'm not fully dressed. Maybe a bra or shirt, but rarely pants. It's not something I ever announce, and I'm not weird about it. No one has a clue, and I don't think anything of it. The other day, while on a discord call with a group of my friends, one of the girls, Jen, who I've become online friends with but haven't actually met video calls me to show me her new outfit. I reject the video, but call her normally and say I can talk. While she shows me, she asks why. And I explained that I wasn't fully dressed, to be honest. I was deep conditioning my hair and hopped on in a towel to pass the time. So I was actually totally naked, and I didn't want that on video, she started to go on how it was weird that I talked to boys while naked. I explained that I was in my house and they didn't know, so it wasn't a big deal. Later in the week, one of the guys messaged me saying people had talked and they were uncomfortable with this. Apparently, Jen had told them and phrased it like it was some sort of kink thing. It's not at all. I'm literally in my own place. Have you seen rent prices? I'm not paying all that, so I have to wear pants at home. He said, some people want to tell my boyfriend who knows and doesn't care. And they want to make it mandatory to be on video while playing games to avoid anything perverted happening. [00:25:28] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:25:29] Speaker A: I don't think the video. I think the video thing is creepier, to be honest. I told them they are all blowing it out of proportion, and it wasn't a big deal. [00:25:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:37] Speaker A: And I've never done anything inappropriate. [00:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:39] Speaker A: They think I should apologize, but I refuse. Am I the asshole? [00:25:43] Speaker C: What the fuck? Fuck, yeah. Her friend. Yeah. Super fucking weird. [00:25:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Like, yeah. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Becoming a social outcast is rough. [00:26:00] Speaker C: No. There's no reason why she can't be naked in her home moment when she's not. Like, they don't fucking see her. [00:26:06] Speaker B: No. [00:26:10] Speaker A: I've fucking played video games naked with my friends. [00:26:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Clothing is uncomfortable. [00:26:18] Speaker C: What are some of the comments? [00:26:22] Speaker A: Not the asshole. This is quite strange how they think this would be perverted, especially if you don't make a scene on it. And if you're on video and wearing that, it'd be different. So this is just a call, and you're totally in the right. Sounds like Jen is the asshole to me. Proper little shit spreader you're playing with there. I'm 100% this jinn is definitely the biggest asshole here. The rest of them are obnoxious, though. The only perverted things are going on in their head. Also not the asshole. Of course. I try and have certain boundaries with online friends I've never met. I can call my best friend Irl in a towel. I'm not the slight bit. I'm not the slightest bit worried that they do anything, like, screenshots or record. Not that Jin would, but this has made me feel more secure in my boundaries. So, Opie. Yeah? You're not the fucking asshole. Yeah. Like, I don't have, like, a ton of fucking people that are, like, online friends that I haven't actually fucking met. So, like, pretty much everyone that I play with, you know, on call of duty and all that shit. I've actually fucking met. Now, we live in fucking vastly different parts of America, so that's fine. But, yeah, I mean, Jen, you're kind of a bitch, you know? You're spreading shit. Fuck you. Stop that. [00:28:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:11] Speaker A: And then next. 01:00 a.m.. I the asshole by throwaway. Am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend I'm bothered by the way she and her family treat their house staff? I, 25 male, dated this girl, 24 female for about five months. I knew her family was well off based on the stories she told me about her upbringing. I didn't get a chance to meet her parents until this week, when we all went to their beach house to spend a few days to celebrate her father's 60th birthday. The house wasn't huge. The way you fucking put huge in all caps makes me think it was. But it was also employed by a staff of about eight people. You can just say eight people. If you can't count to eight, you're an idiot. A staff of about eight people. I was never used to being served like that, and I witnessed some behaviors from my girlfriend and some of her family towards the workers that made me feel uncomfortable. Some examples. A after our first night, I heard her mother tell one of the housekeepers to clean the bedroom my girlfriend and I were staying in. I told her mother everything was in order and that I already made the bed before leaving, her mother told me in the presence of the housekeeper that I shouldn't bother because that's her, the housekeeper's job. B the other morning, my girlfriend and I woke up after everyone had had their breakfast. I went into the kitchen to grab some coffee, and I saw the cooks were already starting to prep for lunch, so I told them I didn't want to bother them, and I made the coffee myself. My girlfriend came into the kitchen moments later and saw me making coffee. Later that day, she complained to her mother without even asking me how things came about, that the cooks left me on my own to make coffee. I had to explain everything. C on her father's birthday, they had a fancy dinner with some of the other guests that came just that day. Some of the staff were made to stand in the room with their backs to the wall as we sat at the table and ate. It was like some downtown abbey shit. I kept my mouth shut for the entire trip, but as soon as we came back, I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I told my girlfriend it made me feel really uncomfortable how she behaved towards the staff. I gave some examples of incidents, and I felt her parents were rude to him. Rude to them. My girlfriend didn't take this well. She says I'm the asshole here for judging their lifestyle. In her mind, we had a perfect week together, and I was withholding my judgment until I can unleash it all on her. I don't think I'm the asshole for speaking my mind. [00:30:52] Speaker C: So I think some of the. I actually read this one earlier, and I think it's part of, like, they pay them to be able to do that work, and, like, if you're doing their work, you're taking away their job, basically taking away their work. And then for the. For, like, the housekeeper, like, making the beds. And, like, basically they're gonna have to do it again over again because there might be a certain way that they do it. And then for the kitchen, like, they're, like, making lunch and stuff. Like, a lot of those types of kitchens, like, they keep them to professional standard clean. So, like, if he's going in there and, like, not washing his hands and he's touching everything with his hands and, like, making coffee, like, I could see why that might even annoy the kitchen staff and, like, how, like, for guests, they might be, like, might have been trained to, like, ask them to, like, no, make it for you to be courteous and stuff like that. And then for the last one, like, if they were in a private room at, like, a high class restaurant, like, it wouldn't be out of place to have servers doing the same exact thing. So why is it so weird in the home? [00:32:08] Speaker A: Because they're obviously, this guy was born. [00:32:12] Speaker C: And it's a birthday too. He only, he didn't say that that happened for every single meal. It only happens for his birthday and, like, maybe special occasions. [00:32:23] Speaker A: So I mean, like, pretty much what the fucking comments say is, you know, that's their lifestyle. Stop fucking judging on the. You fucking asshole. I can see it from the boyfriend's perspective. He is in shock and he has never seen shit like that. And if you would do some of that bullshit at a normal restaurant, if you to go into, like, an Applebee's and be like, hey, you know, bring me fucking coffee and like, snap at people and, you know, just, you know, be generally. [00:32:52] Speaker C: But they weren't, though. [00:32:54] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, you know, this is their employees and obviously they're getting paid well enough to fucking, you know, put up with that. Like, if you pay me well enough, you can call me whatever the fuck you want, the amount of degradation I'll go to for fucking money. Yeah. [00:33:13] Speaker B: So I have never understood the concept of introducing your boyfriend or girlfriend to your family at a party or something where everyone's strangers. I was always like, shouldn't they just have a small dinner with the family instead of just thrusting this poor person into the whirlwind of an entire family reunion? Like, that seems awful. [00:33:36] Speaker C: Well, not even an entire family reunion, though. Like, he only said a few people were there. [00:33:46] Speaker B: I still don't understand the concept of doing so at that time frame. [00:33:51] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I mean, they're to be on, like, semi vacation, meet the family type thing. And I could see how that could be normal for them. I mean, maybe he could have raised it differently, because I think. No, I don't know if. I don't think he overstepped too far. I just think he was truly weirded out and, like, maybe he could have done a better job. If anything, it's. [00:34:22] Speaker A: It's a culture shock. You go to any fucking, like, other country where the US dollar fucking means a lot, those people treat you like goddamn royalty. You come in, they'll do everything for you. They'll be like, oh, yeah, come stay at my house. And you know, all this and you know it. You go to, like, Iran. As an American, they are the nicest fucking people ever. Ever. Most of them, you know, I'm sure you can, you know, come across a few that are like, I'm not too fond of your people, but, you know, a lot of them are like, fuck, yeah, come stay at my house. I'll fucking take care of you. You want to fuck my wife here? Uh, you know, please. Because, like, they have no tourism. They have nothing. Because, you know, everyone just saw fucking the war over there, and they're like, I'm just gonna stay away from it. And I'm sure fucking, you know, all these other war toned countries are the exact same way. You go over there with a little bit of money and be like, holy shit, you know, they're your fucking royalty over there. You can, you know, save a restaurant. You can, you know, go over there and for, like, the price of a happy meal over here, you can go buy someone a house over there. You know, your dollar goes way further. [00:35:56] Speaker B: The disparity of wealth is disgusting. [00:35:59] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, like, Americans in general, even, like, the poorest Americans, are, like, rich in other countries. Like, some of them, like, if you were to, like, you know, take what they make a day, like, they make like, $2 a day. It's like, we make $8 an hour. So it's like, oh, shit, you know, and then you just take that money. [00:36:27] Speaker C: Over there since, I mean, talked about going to the grocery store, and it's like a two to $400 trip sometimes. Like, I'm going to the grocery store. I'm basically. It's always kind of high now. [00:36:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I went to Costco, spent $300. [00:36:47] Speaker C: Yeah, Costco. Everything's in bulk at Costco, though. Not really pricier stuff sometimes. Or, like, family. Like, you know, like, you would get the same size. [00:37:05] Speaker A: No, they have, like, regular sized shit. Like, everyone, you know, thinks it's like, oh, I'm gonna go to Costco and I'm gonna get, you know, like a fucking, you know, 55 gallon drum of, like, fucking, you know, shampoo. And it's like, no. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Are you disappointed? No. [00:37:28] Speaker A: I wasn't looking for shampoo there. I was looking for food. I was actually impressed that they had alcohol. [00:37:36] Speaker B: I told you they would. [00:37:38] Speaker A: I think they're actually getting rid of the fact. I think they're getting rid of alcohol sales outside of liquor stores. [00:37:45] Speaker C: Wait, really? [00:37:46] Speaker A: In Colorado? Yeah, like, it's coming across the desk. That way all, you know what? Liquor stores will have pretty much the monopoly on alcohol sales. At least hard alcohol sales. Like, you can still buy beer and stuff. [00:38:03] Speaker C: I always hated that when I went to Colorado. It was just. I felt like was bullshit. [00:38:11] Speaker A: Yeah, but, you know, if you can go to a Safeway, you know, get, you know, your fucking whiskey and all that shit, and you don't have to go to the liquor store. Why the fuck would you? [00:38:22] Speaker B: They're working real hard on expanding. [00:38:25] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I like going to the liquor store. Call me old fashioned. [00:38:30] Speaker B: That's fun. Like, if I can pick up my beers at grocery store, awesome. But if not, I'm going to the liquor store. I need my fancy bougie beers. [00:38:41] Speaker A: Well, I fucking went to the liquor store, and I found PBR extras. These things are great. Everybody sucked down a twelve pack, though. I'm like, oh, fuck. But, yeah, this dude's in fucking culture shock. I get it. Sometimes it. You know, you see the way, you know, different people live. Like, I've seen the way, like, millionaires live, and I'm like, holy shit, you have fucking two planes. You spent 13 million on a house built brand new, and it's like, oh, okay. Jesus, I need to do better in my life. I'm doing awful. Like, I thought I was doing okay. Like, if I can get to, like, a quarter of where you're at, I would fucking be ecstatic. But speaking of that, next story, popcorn with Parmesan. Am I the asshole for eating in front of a friend who's trying to save money? [00:39:48] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:39:50] Speaker A: I. 31 female went out with a friend, also 31 female, who has been unemployed and struggling to find work for a few months. She wanted to go for one happy hour drink because she's trying to save money. That's not how you do it. I've been running around all day and was starving when I met her. On top of my drink, I ordered a salad. She only had the drink, and I offered her some. She said no. Later, I got a text how it was very rude to eat in front of her when she couldn't afford an entree. Was it? [00:40:25] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:40:26] Speaker A: All right, fucking friend. Unemployed friend. Here's the thing. If you are unemployed, you don't have money for alcohol. Don't you know, that's. [00:40:39] Speaker B: Unless that's why you're unemployed. [00:40:40] Speaker A: That's plain and simple what it is. You do not have money for alcohol. And you're 31 too. Like, if you're, like, 21, I'll be like, oh, I get it. You know, you're probably living at home with your parents. No, you're 31, female, and you've been struggling to find work. You've been struggling to find an excellent job, find any job, and while you're working that fucking menial job, then go fucking look for another job. Like, don't fucking be like, hey, I'm only gonna, you know, I'm gonna look for a job. Short term plans, you know, like, go fucking, you know, run, uber run, fucking doordash, run, you know, Lyft. All that bullshit. It doesn't pay well, but it pays something. And you can, you know, travel around. Oh, cool. I need to, you know, go up to Denver. You know, I can probably get a fair to go up to Denver to dia, you know, make the fucking gas money and then go up there and do that shit. I never understood when, like, unemployed people were, like, drinking. It's like, go out there and fucking make that money. I'm not gonna feel bad for you if, you know, you know, more months down the road, you're homeless. And it's like, I was trying to look for work. Like, I. In this town, I can find you work. If you are willing to fucking put in some, you know, time and effort, I can find you a job easy. But here's the thing. A lot of these millennials, they only want to work 40 hours or they only want to work certain hours. I have to get up at 02:00 a.m. You know, to go fucking, you know, work a good job. It sucks. Absolutely, it does. Working six days a week. Yep. Garbage. But, you know, I have a house because of it. So, no, you're not an asshole. And especially just a salad, if you got, like, a burger, a salad, and a dessert and all that shit, and we're like, oh, man, this is so good. Oh, look at what having a job gets you. Oh, look, this is good. You want some? Oh, none for you, unemployed bitch. Ah, fuck you, then. Yeah, you'd be an asshole for doing that, but you didn't do that. You got a fucking salad because you're running around all day. You know, fuck your 31. Actually, dump that fucking 31 year old friend that's unemployed. Yeah, get rid of them. You don't need them in your life. Surround yourself with better fucking people. Surround yourself with business owners. Surround yourself with better fucking people that will drag you the fuck up. Be the fucking worst person in your group. Like, I know that sounds like a terrible piece of advice, but being the worst person in your group, you know, makes you want to fucking work harder to not be the worst person in your group. So, yeah. Popcorn Parmesan? No. You know, keep doing you, girl. This one is by dry Tanglo 25 80 06:00 a.m.. I the asshole for warning people about happy horseshit Ranch I, 25, female, have been estranged from my father ever since I went to college at 18. Long story short, he was abusive to me and my mom sisters growing up. I've been diagnosed with chronic PTSD because of it. He remarried when I was 16. I found out on Facebook despite us not being estranged at the time, and moved into my stepmom's. June is her name family farm in a rural ass part of the state. It has been in her family for generations, and they raise horses. June is very similar to him. She had a tough upbringing and completely endorses how he raised us, even talking about it as a joke in front of my friends. Anyway, my youngest sister tells me June and my dad are opening up a equine therapy center on their farm for at risk youth and people with PTSD. Not chronic PTSD, just PTSD. I couldn't help but think this is not only hypocritical, but dangerous based on how my dad thinks he did nothing wrong and could invalidate the kids experiences. I called the state to find out if I could report him, and I found out that they filed a therapy as faith based, so there is no permit and basically no regulations on what they can do. So I made a public Facebook post, said that my dad had abused my whole family for years, lied about why we were estranged, and is now opening this happy horseshit ranch. I advise people to not go. June texted me asking me to take it down. She said this was her dream and I was ruining it and was barely a part of it. I asked if he'd be conducting the therapy. She said yes, so I said, it stays. She absolutely lost her shit. My sister started posting that. My stepsister started posting that my dad's a good christian man and I'm an ungrateful selfish, money grubbing asshole. June started saying, I don't deserve everything he did, in very explicit language. So I took screenshots of what she texted me and added it to my post. People who weren't them responded well to my post, and some even said, thank you for the warning, particularly the screenshots. I felt justified in sharing my story, but part of me wonders if I'm truly crushing June's lifelong dream for something that was mostly about her husband. I also didn't specify what type of abuse, which makes people think it was worse than it was. Am I the asshole? [00:47:00] Speaker C: No. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Really hard to be a cycle breaker. [00:47:03] Speaker C: Always treat other people like that. One of the other stories that I heard was, like, a school counselor. Like, basically just disregarded this girl her whole high school career, didn't get her extra tutoring help. She said that that's for the people who actually are going to go to college and stuff like that, and, like, never helped her because that's what school counselors are supposed to do. They're supposed to advocate for you to be able to help you succeed. And this one didn't. And so she ended up after that. She ended up going to university. She ended up getting her masters. And then when she went back to the town because of her stepfather's funeral, she ran into the old one. And then she found. Found out through the grapevine that she treated other kids like that and was eventually fired. So they're always going to treat people like shit. So, yeah, pretty much. No, for them. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Pretty much all the comments say, you're not the asshole. June doesn't need to be in fucking therapy, especially faith based therapy. You're doing, you know, an immense service. And, you know. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Yeah, this is op's responsibility. [00:48:27] Speaker A: I mean, it's not, but, you know, I'm kind of glad that they are, you know, stepping up to say, hey, this is, you know, if you take your teens and put them in this program, this is, you know, what you're gonna get back. Just let you know. [00:48:43] Speaker B: I wouldn't have done it. I was opinion. But I'm not op. [00:48:46] Speaker A: I mean, I. I did go to fucking a military boarding school for troubled teens. You know, there were. There was miniature horses there and donkeys. So I guess we had a horsey. I'm sure they have horses now. They 100% do. We built all the fucking rings and all that. We had to, you know, go through and take out all the rocks because rocks are not good for horse hooves, apparently. They just. [00:49:17] Speaker C: Yeah, wild and don't like run and do more stuff. Yeah, they're cooked in the paddock, so they can become lame and stuff. [00:49:30] Speaker A: So. Yeah, no, but, yeah, no, horses weren't, like, a big part of it when I was there. And. Yeah, so, yeah, opie, you're not the fucking asshole. If your dad abused you, you don't even have to say, you know what the fuck he did. [00:49:53] Speaker B: Just because there's different levels of description does not mean abuse is never not abuse. Abuse is always abuse. [00:50:01] Speaker A: So just leave it the fuck up and just like, yep, fuck you. [00:50:07] Speaker B: You do uop. You are brave. Braver than I would be. [00:50:11] Speaker A: So now for another one. Acrobatic rice. Eight, seven. Asshole for not giving our my sister our childhood home context. I 30 female. My sister 33 female. Both lost our mom recently, but, and before she died, my mom fell out after her, and my mom fell out after my sister stole about $4,000 from my mom, who is letting her and her kids stay rent free and wreck the house. She was kicked out and currently lives in a small apartment. Their relationship never really recovered. When I. When we got the will, I got the house we used to live in as children. It was a massive shock as everyone believed the house would go to my sister, but it didnt. But she still got enough money to cover at least 15 months of rent and supplies for her kids, and I got the rest. After the will was read, she pulled me to the side and asked if I could stay in the house with her and her kids, which I would happily do. But when I said she can stay with me and she said that I should move into her apartment and pay the rent and she should just keep the house, I said no because this would help me because it's closer to my work and it's all paid for. And she just started calling me entitled and some other derogatory words I'll not repeat. But after a while with family members saying I should give the sister the house, I guess I'm double guessing myself, so fucking sister is a bitch. Fucking fell out with mom and the willow was red and fucking younger sister got the house and she's like, hey, can I have the house? Older sister's like, give me that house. And she's like, yeah, you can live with me. She's like, no, you can live in my apartment and pay my rent. And that's a shitty fucking thing to do. No, you just fucking go. No contact after that, you know, no one fucking told you to get Cumdon. No one told you to have children. No one told you to steal $4,000 from, you know, your mom, you know, you fucking, you know, made your bed, now sleep in it. [00:52:35] Speaker B: Yep. [00:52:36] Speaker A: Tough shit. That's a fucking good lesson to learn, you know, maybe don't burn every fucking bridge. Um, like, I assume, like, when my parents die, my brothers will get the houses. [00:52:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I'm sure they'll get the house, too. 100%. [00:53:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, oh, cool. You know, like that. That's. [00:53:06] Speaker B: We're never gonna move back to California. He's not gonna leave the house. [00:53:09] Speaker A: Why would they? Like, if they, like, you're like, hey, Alex, you get the house because, you know, your brothers are like. Like, hey, guess what? I hate California. You know, you can live in that house. [00:53:25] Speaker C: Oh, my. Or they can leave it to all of you, and then they end up buying you out or something like that. [00:53:31] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't really care. Not like a money person. I mean, if they want to give me money, cool. But honestly, I'd much rather my brothers be financially secure and have a house. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:47] Speaker A: So. But by Mount Fuji, hell, I would not let that let her live in your house rent free without a substantial security deposit because her past behavior already indicated she was irresponsible. I guarantee she will wreck your house. Think of your house as a business that is rented out to responsible tenants, where you'll get income and your house increases in value. Not the asshole. In the event your sister ends up living with you in your house, make sure you have the protection of a written lease agreement. So, yeah, go for it. So, yeah, you're not the asshole, opie. Got a couple more. Am I the assholes? And then we got some relationship advice. Am I the asshole for changing my mind about hosting a baby shower? Because I won't remove my dogs by a cancel baby shower. Am I the asshole? A few months ago, I 28 female offered my best friend to host her baby shower. We've known each other for 20 years. I was her maid of honor. She accepted. Invitations were sent out a few weeks ago. We are in the thick of planning it. It is next weekend. The topic of my dogs came up. I have a lab and a golden. She doesn't want them at the party. I was like, this is the dog's house, too. I'm not going to take them anywhere or lock them away. She says there are going to be a lot of people here, including several young children. We've known each other forever. She knows my dogs are well behaved and great with kids, even if they are messed with I trust nothing will happen. Of course. It's a fucking lab and a golden retriever. They're big goofballs. She explains that my dogs can be a bit much. I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. She says that she is fine with them, but she doesn't think in a party setting they will be great. She asked if at the very least I could keep them locked away. I told them she can find a new venue to host her baby shower. She called me an asshole. I didn't think this was such a big deal. I asked her to leave. She has let everyone know there is a to be determined venue change. And now I have people reaching out to me about what happened. Am I the asshole? [00:56:17] Speaker B: 100%. Oh, my God. 100%, you're an asshole. What the fuck? [00:56:25] Speaker A: Did you read the fucking. [00:56:27] Speaker B: No, I heard you from the. From. Yeah, you spoke loud enough. So 100% the asshole. [00:56:33] Speaker A: No. [00:56:34] Speaker B: This is a dick move on so many levels. [00:56:37] Speaker A: You know, your fucking friend came to you like, hey, I have a baby shower. And you're like, cool, I have a couple dogs, you know, they'll be, you know, out and about and, you know, now your friend's like, lock your dogs away. Make sure they don't come out. It's like, if you're gonna have people inside the house, guess what? The fucking dogs are gonna be there. [00:57:03] Speaker B: It's a danger to the dogs. There will be all kinds of strangers. They're gonna be eating food. It's just gonna be knocked on the floor. They could be bringing in, like, parasites from their other pets. Like, it's good for the dogs for them to not be at the party. [00:57:18] Speaker A: It's all then, oh, then if the. [00:57:20] Speaker C: Dogs are used to being at the party, then I don't. I think it's a your house, your rules type thing. [00:57:28] Speaker A: Yeah, that's exactly it. Your house, your rules. And if you're worried about your dog seeing parasite, parasites from other people, you better never take him out on a walk. No, you better lock them in. [00:57:39] Speaker B: Alternatives, it's fine. But the point is, as, from my veterinary medical standpoint, it's a danger for the. [00:57:45] Speaker A: You're a cat person. [00:57:46] Speaker B: What if there's, what if there's, like, chocolate cake and dogs eat to chocolate cake? [00:57:51] Speaker A: Vodka. [00:57:55] Speaker C: You use vodka for Anna. [00:57:57] Speaker B: Freeze. [00:57:57] Speaker C: Only on birthday occasions that the dog can get into. [00:58:02] Speaker A: I know, but then just don't have a birth. Don't have a chocolate cake. It's a baby shower. It's like, hey, here's gifts. You can have cupcakes. You can have the dogs inside the house. But if you're gonna have people coming inside the house, guess what? The dogs are gonna be there. You know, like, it's. You're a bad dog owner. If you're gonna fucking lock away your dogs for the day, then have your friend pay for that. [00:58:34] Speaker B: Sure. [00:58:35] Speaker A: You know, hey, you know, have to fucking compromise. You know? You have to fucking pay to have my dogs boarded up at the nicest facility. [00:58:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but they. Charges are never more than, like, $60 at most. Yeah. [00:58:48] Speaker A: Even if it's a $100. Hey, guess what? You have to pay now. $200 for both my dogs. [00:58:53] Speaker B: Compromise. [00:58:54] Speaker C: Look, if it's something that they requested, then, yeah, they should. [00:59:00] Speaker A: No, like, yeah, if you're gonna have the. [00:59:03] Speaker C: They can have the party somewhere else. [00:59:05] Speaker A: Yeah. If you're gonna try and stipulate fucking, you know, at the venue, bag, you know, imagine going to, like, a hotel and beg. Hey, I want the venues. [00:59:13] Speaker B: Opie's home. [00:59:15] Speaker A: I know, but I, like. [00:59:17] Speaker B: She doesn't want the dogs. Why is she throwing it at her home if she doesn't want the dogs bothered? [00:59:23] Speaker A: No, fucking. The guest coming to the home doesn't want the dogs there. [00:59:28] Speaker B: Yeah. So why is she holding it in her home in the first place? Yeah, but this is completely. Why is she doing it in her own home and then being mad about it? This is. Oh, my God. This is. [00:59:42] Speaker C: Well, no, she said that the person said that they had dogs and that. [00:59:49] Speaker A: They'Ve had dogs for years, and so it's like, hey, you want to have the baby shower here? And then the weekend before the fucking baby shower, they're like, well, about the dogs. If you don't think your child can be around dogs, leave your fucking sperm goblin at home. [01:00:10] Speaker B: Okay? Dogs should not be unsupervised around small children. [01:00:14] Speaker A: How about this? Fucking, you know, take your kids to a fucking babysitter. [01:00:19] Speaker C: You see that? [01:00:19] Speaker A: But, like, it's like, yeah, not for fucking babies. [01:00:22] Speaker C: Kids are always unsupervised around dogs, and it's not safe. [01:00:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, if it was like, a Doberman and like a fucking. [01:00:32] Speaker B: Okay, not dobies, but any dog. [01:00:36] Speaker A: If it was, like, a Belgian. Malinoise, Malinois, malinoise, malinoisy. But it's a fucking lab and a golden retriever. The most kid friendly fucking dogs known to man. [01:00:53] Speaker B: Op is allowed to do whatever they want with dogs. [01:00:56] Speaker A: But so, in my opinion, op fucking, you know, kicked the fucking toxic fucking baby crazy mama out of her fucking, you know, house and probably out of her life now. [01:01:05] Speaker B: You're an asshole. Kennel your dogs for the day? [01:01:08] Speaker A: No, my wife is a cat person. You can tell? [01:01:13] Speaker C: Yeah. She doesn't understand dog. [01:01:15] Speaker B: Do you want to spend 4k? [01:01:17] Speaker C: Like, no. Like, if the dog was reactive and. [01:01:21] Speaker A: Stuff, like, don't fucking have it. [01:01:24] Speaker C: Probably out. [01:01:26] Speaker A: Don't have a chocolate cake. Have a vanilla cake. [01:01:32] Speaker B: There'll be candy and other kind stuff about, it's just safer for the dogs. Oh, I'm sorry. [01:01:37] Speaker A: Well, now it's a hundred percent safe for the dogs because the baby shower is not being held there. [01:01:41] Speaker B: I know. Op made. [01:01:42] Speaker A: Imagine going to a hotel and being, hey, I want to have a wedding here, but you can't have any guests at the hotel while I have this fucking wedding. Like, they can't be in the lobby. They can't do any of that shit. And you need to fucking, you know, clear out the front parking lot for all my guests to be here. [01:01:57] Speaker B: You know, op, the stupidest move they made in the first place was hosting it at their home. [01:02:02] Speaker A: She already. The friend already knew she had dogs. Yeah, she should have brought this up before. [01:02:09] Speaker B: She should have been like, I would assume that was the default as a friend. [01:02:13] Speaker A: It's like, hey, I'm gonna have a party. My dogs are gonna be here. This is their home. Imagine, like, we had one like this a while ago where someone was gonna have a wedding. Like, you're not invited to the wedding, so you need to, like, make yourself scarce. But we're gonna use your house and your entire property. [01:02:30] Speaker B: This is different. [01:02:32] Speaker A: It's like, oh, no, then guess what? You're gonna have a new fucking venue. Fuck you. [01:02:40] Speaker B: Are you gonna read comments? I wouldn't know if anyone agrees with me. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Probably not. I don't know. Everyone sucks here. A lab and a golden retriever are big enough to get in the way of a party. [01:02:54] Speaker C: Not if it's a spacious house. [01:02:57] Speaker A: Not everyone loves dogs, especially big dogs. Um, yeah. How about this? If you don't like dogs, you stay the fuck home. You don't go to the fucking party. You don't need to go to the party. You can come, drop off a gift and leave. How about that? [01:03:12] Speaker B: But then you're not having fun at the party. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I have never met a lab or a golden retriever that I did not love. [01:03:21] Speaker C: Yeah, okay, you love it, but does it love you? Doesn't know you and trust you. They usually have a big house where there's plenty of space and the dogs. I have always loved hanging out with people. [01:03:44] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, you're like, you're the asshole, you know? Because you refuse to protect your dogs from strangers. [01:03:51] Speaker B: Yes. [01:03:53] Speaker C: Oh my God, yes, yes. [01:03:56] Speaker B: Medical standpoint, I can't help it. [01:03:58] Speaker A: Foreign bout this fucking use your goddamn brain. You know, your friend has dogs. You know, you're gonna fucking, you know, bring people to the house and if the dogs are gonna be a fucking issue, you know, bring that up before you get to the fucking weekend, before the party, you know, the fucking dumbass, you know, come dumpster sucks here. And no, the fucking people that have dogs, they don't suck at all, you know, hey, you know, fucking, you know, these big lovable dumb idiots love people. [01:04:35] Speaker B: I'm not saying dogs are bad. I'm just saying dogs have their place and that is not their place. [01:04:41] Speaker A: You don't have dogs. [01:04:43] Speaker B: Precisely. [01:04:44] Speaker A: You work at a cat clinic. [01:04:46] Speaker B: I am still aware of what can happen to a dog at a party. I'm not blind to other animals. [01:04:51] Speaker A: Then lock your dog away. Never own a dog. If you're worried that something's going to happen to a dog, you can take a dog for a walk. Guess what? It gets away from you. Runs in front of a car, dies. Oh, no. You know, if you're worried about fucking, you know, the what could happen, you better fucking just kill yourself now. Because guess. Guess what, shit's gonna happen. This is the type of, this is the shit that fucking annoys me. It's like people like, well, this could happen. It's like, well, then fucking just die. Just die. Just kill yourself now. Because guess what? You know, shit is going to fucking happen. Maybe your fucking dog gets some chocolate. [01:05:33] Speaker B: Yeah, you better have pet insurance. [01:05:37] Speaker A: You know, there's dogs that have eaten chocolate and, you know, they get a little bit sick and then that's it. It's like, oh, or you can make them throw up. Epic hack. [01:05:49] Speaker B: Please don't give your dog that. Please don't ever give your dog that. Ever. [01:05:58] Speaker A: Epicack the dog. [01:06:00] Speaker B: What? [01:06:00] Speaker C: I kind of spaced. [01:06:03] Speaker A: Why? What happens if you give your dog epecack? [01:06:06] Speaker B: It's designed for humans. It's not designed for dogs. [01:06:09] Speaker A: Well, what happens? [01:06:11] Speaker B: I don't know. I was just taught you don't do it to dogs in school, and so I just know that. [01:06:16] Speaker A: And I. I was taught that fucking Pluto was a planet. [01:06:19] Speaker B: Pluto was a planet when you. Pluto was classified as a planet when you learned about it. So. Yeah. However, you have not updated your knowledge to the new definition, so therefore that is a lack on your part. [01:06:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Imagine like, you know, your friend is like, hey, I'm gonna, you know, have a party at my house. You need to fucking have your kids locked away. Imagine doing that. [01:06:43] Speaker B: Oh, that's even better. [01:06:45] Speaker A: Have your kids not dare. [01:06:49] Speaker C: That's so dumb. [01:06:51] Speaker A: It's like, you know, you're fucking like. [01:06:54] Speaker B: A child to an animal. I'm sorry. [01:06:56] Speaker A: Like, if I invited someone over here and they're like, hey, you need to lock mochi away. I'm like, no, you can leave if. [01:07:02] Speaker B: We have a party of multiple people. Of course I'm boarding the cats at work. Are you crazy? They will not be in the house if we have a party. [01:07:13] Speaker C: How many people would you consider a party? [01:07:16] Speaker B: More than four. [01:07:17] Speaker A: So you just. [01:07:18] Speaker C: I don't think Alex is gonna have more than four people over. [01:07:21] Speaker A: You can lock your cats away. [01:07:23] Speaker B: Uh, no. They will be at the clinic boarding safely, where I don't have to stress about it. [01:07:28] Speaker A: I will fucking take care of my kitty. [01:07:30] Speaker B: You are more than welcome to go visit her. [01:07:32] Speaker A: No. Oh, we're here. [01:07:36] Speaker B: No, I'm not taking chances. I can't deal with that. [01:07:42] Speaker A: My wife is a fucking neurotic fucking warrior. [01:07:45] Speaker B: I'm sorry. We disagree, babe. [01:07:47] Speaker A: Yep. Am I the asshole for telling, um, this would be more of a. Would I be the asshole, as I haven't told her yet? Um, would I be the asshole for telling my wife that her dad cross dresses, full stop? Yes, you would. Yeah. I don't even have to read the fucking rest of the story. Um, if your wife does not know that her dad, you know, does whatever he does, yes, you would be a fucking complete and total asshole by Herbie handsome. Um, whatever a fucking man does, let him fucking do whatever he wants to do. Pretty much, you know, opie fucking. [01:08:25] Speaker C: I want to hear the story. [01:08:26] Speaker A: Okay, fine, I'll read it. Long story short, my wife and I are staring staying with her parents while we have work done on our home. This morning, our cat decided to wake me up for food at 05:00 a.m. Not uncommon. When I went upstairs to feed him, I came across a start startled father in law. It was early, so I was somewhat groggy. He was definitely sitting in the kitchen wearing a bra, and I think he might have also been quickly trying to pull off and hide a pair of panties under his robe. I avoided looking in his direction and act groggily, as groggy as possible while I quickly gave the cat a scoop of food and retreated back to the basement. The only thing I said was, ah, she always wakes me up early for food. Father in law responded with. Oh, that's all he wants, in a very startled tone. I spent the rest of the morning thinking about this interaction and haven't said anything to my wife yet. Would I be the asshole if I told her? Would I be more of an asshole if I didn't help me. Reddit. This feels weird. To add to this, he gets up early every Saturday, the day this happened, and goes golfing with his buddies. Now my mind is spiraling, thinking this could be a weekly thing his family doesn't know about. Was he prepping to do something other than golf? Oh, God, make the thought stop. Too long. Didn't read observed father in law cross dressing, and can't decide whether to tell my wife or not. [01:09:57] Speaker B: Course, wife knows. [01:09:59] Speaker A: No, leave. No, she probably doesn't, honestly. [01:10:02] Speaker B: Okay. If she doesn't know her, her father's a cross dresser. That says a lot about their relationship sometimes. [01:10:09] Speaker A: Like, here's the thing. Like, a lot of older generations did not get to experiment sexually at all, so they didn't get to be who they wanted to fucking be. You know, there is, you know, only, like, the bravest of the fucking brave decided to, like, go to Trinidad, Colorado, and, you know, get, like, trans, you know, gender surgery. Like, gender reassignment surgery, and do all that. [01:10:33] Speaker B: Well, he's kind of a creep. [01:10:36] Speaker C: How is he a creep? [01:10:39] Speaker A: How is he a creep? [01:10:41] Speaker B: Like, as soon as you see this, he's just, like, imagining, like, all these possibilities for his father in law. Like, why the fuck is he doing that? [01:10:48] Speaker C: It's his business. Because people like juicy gossip, no matter who it is. And it's not like he's speculated to, like, private people are speculated to his wife. [01:11:00] Speaker A: I mean, here's the thing. It's like outing somebody. Like, imagine if someone's trying to, you know, keep in the fact that they're gay or, you know, trans or, you know, they don't want to come out. [01:11:10] Speaker B: Like, I feel like father in law. I would just tell anybody if he wasn't out to his family members. [01:11:16] Speaker A: Like, if you really want to have, like, this conversation, go talk to your father in law first. Okay? [01:11:22] Speaker B: Yes. [01:11:23] Speaker A: Go talk to him first. You know, you know, have, like, a, you know, an honest heart to heart and be like, hey, does your family know that you enjoy this? Because, like, there's that one dude, like, I think in the UK that, like, fully, like, dresses up as, like, like, has, like, the whole bodysuit and, like, dresses up, like, as a woman and goes out in public, and he's like. [01:11:44] Speaker B: Yeah, their best life. [01:11:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's like, but it took him years to get that fucking brave, and he just, you know, did it, you know, by himself in his own home and is like, yeah, this is, you know, I'm sorry. [01:11:57] Speaker B: Had to take that long of a journey. I love going out in my pin up dresses in my petticoat. [01:12:02] Speaker A: Well, this wasn't, you know, op. This is, you know, some other dude. [01:12:05] Speaker B: I know, but still, it's praiseworthy. [01:12:08] Speaker A: Um, yeah, do not fucking tell your wife. Do not fucking make it a, you know, juicy gossip thing. Just, you know, fucking, you know, kind of, you know, talk to him, and if he, you know, wants to come out, you know, cool. But if he doesn't, you know, do not fucking force this on the rest of the family and make it fucking awkward. [01:12:27] Speaker B: So if I was op, I would not be able to keep my mouth shut. I would have gone right back to my partner, been like, your dad cross dresses. Like, I would have been able to keep it a secret personally. It would have been. I would immediately be like, oh, shit. [01:12:41] Speaker A: No, not like. Like, there's, you know, like, if I'm. [01:12:45] Speaker B: Not a good person. [01:12:48] Speaker C: And quite honestly, like, if she has. If your partner and you did that on accident and, like, the partner has a bad reaction, like, you don't want to be with someone like that. Yeah, like, it doesn't matter. [01:13:01] Speaker A: So, yeah, I mean, just leave it the fuck alone. Um, if you really want to get into a talk with them and, you know, I don't know what level you're on on that, but, you know, maybe you can, like, introduce them to, like, some other dudes and, like, hey, yeah, these are, you know, all fucking, you know, drag queens. They all dress up, you know, and have, you know, great time. Yeah, I know. Drag queens and psychiatrists exactly should. Oh, shit. We're already way past. Yeah, let's make this the last one, because we're already fucking 15 minutes past. Am I in the wrong for hanging out with my female friends when I'm married? I haven't got a chance to hang out with my friends since we moved, and we've been really busy, and I feel bad for causing a drift between my friends. I've just been really busy with life. I feel bad. My wife knows I have some female friends, and she's been uncomfortable with it, but I've also hardly got to hang out with them. Like I've said, we're just always busy. But last night, I went out to grab some drinks that some of my female friends I've known for many years and my wife said, okay, whatever, it's fine. But it wasn't fine. She was texting me all night. When I got home, she yelled at me, saying, no married man should ever hang out with friends of the opposite gender. She knows I didn't do anything with them, otherwise she would leave me. But it, um, if she had doubts, she said, it's the principle, and it's just disrespectful to our marriage that I have female friends. I don't agree. Am I wrong? [01:15:05] Speaker B: No. I mean, prejudices. [01:15:10] Speaker A: It's a fucking deep seated jealousy thing. You know, it's an insecurity on your wife's part. [01:15:20] Speaker B: Um, it's a lack of trust. [01:15:24] Speaker A: Yeah. If my wife had, you know, dude friends, I'm like, yeah, sure, go ahead, hang out with us. [01:15:29] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [01:15:30] Speaker B: No, I've never been once by, bothered by any of the women you hang out with. [01:15:34] Speaker C: Yep. [01:15:35] Speaker B: It's. [01:15:36] Speaker A: Cause, like, most of them are gay. [01:15:38] Speaker B: It's just how it is. You have way more friends than I do, so I don't quite honestly give a fuck. I have too many friends as it is. [01:15:48] Speaker A: So many people. My friends talk more about you. They're like, I'm excited. I know your wife is coming. [01:15:56] Speaker B: I am intangible. [01:16:00] Speaker A: Like, we're surprised you have one of those. It's amazing, Alex. I mean, like, it's really fun to, like, hit on fucking, like, married dudes and just like. Yeah, because, like, they, they don't ever get hit on. They don't ever get complimented. And it's like, they know, you know, there's like, nothing will happen. It's like, boom. Compliment. You know, just give him a compliment sandwich. Being like, you know, you have nice hair. Your penis is small. You have nice eyebrows. Like, wait, what? [01:16:50] Speaker B: It's like, it's two truths and a lie. [01:16:54] Speaker A: No, it's, you know, something you like about them. Something that's bad, something that's good. Oh, it's a compliment. So that way you can give them criticism but soften the blow. [01:17:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a great way to. That's how I always deal it when I need to deal with, like, employee stuff and, like, that kind of stuff. Like, you're doing this great. Here's why I have the issue. But this is how you can fix it. And I really appreciate how much effort you're putting into it. It works every time. I'm really good at correcting staff members. [01:17:27] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, so what do you do? [01:17:30] Speaker B: Oh, manager. [01:17:32] Speaker A: It's a compliment sandwich. So what you do is you, you know, give them a compliment. You know, give them criticism and then give them another compliment. So, like, for, like, women, you're like, you know, your tits are top notch. You're very toothy with the blowjobs. Your pussy is top notch. And then they're like, thank you, but toothy with the blowjobs. And then they think about it for, like, years. [01:18:13] Speaker B: Shut the fuck up. [01:18:15] Speaker A: Toothy with a blow. [01:18:16] Speaker B: Shut up. [01:18:17] Speaker A: On their dying bed. Like, they're, like, sitting there, 98 years old. Toothy with the blowjobs. Who are you people? Grandma. [01:18:25] Speaker B: Twice. Get over it. [01:18:27] Speaker A: Grandma. It's me, your grandson. I was toothy with blowjobs. [01:18:31] Speaker B: It hasn't happened in years. [01:18:36] Speaker A: Yeah, blowjobs. Yeah. No, but that's it. We will be back next week with the normal fucking bullshit. We just had to do this again because Courtney was not here for, you know, all the. Am I the assholes and relationship advices and all the dumbass bullshit? It's fine. I mean, I had a fucking comedy thing to go to. It was great. I had a good time. [01:19:00] Speaker C: What time did you guys end up doing it? [01:19:03] Speaker A: Like, fucking, like, next day. [01:19:08] Speaker C: Okay. Because I was like, I saw the text that you sent, like, right after, like, at night and the next morning. [01:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I. I was, like, at the comedy thing, and that went, like, all night. And then, like, I didn't. It wasn't that night at all, so. But thank you all so much. Follow me. Instagram, Twitter, all that dumb bullshit. Alex, a truck. I'm everywhere on the Internet. You can hit me up. You can, you know, call me gay, whatever. Big. Oh, you. You suck a bunch of dicks or something? Like, yeah, sure. Do you want a blowjob? What? [01:19:47] Speaker B: I have a plug in. [01:19:48] Speaker A: What? [01:19:49] Speaker B: Okay. If you are attending the cat festival here in Colorado Springs, my clinic, carefree cats, will be having a booth. Please come by. We have a lot of handmade art. We're doing a raffle. We got some baskets. There's a bunch of stuff about our clinic we're really proud of. And just come over and check us out, please. And we'll all be wearing outfits and cat ears. [01:20:09] Speaker A: When is this catfest? When? [01:20:12] Speaker B: I think it's in, like, June. I don't know the exact date. [01:20:16] Speaker A: It'll be like the 4 July. [01:20:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God, don't tell me that. No, I know. It's not during our vacation. I checked that at least. [01:20:23] Speaker A: That would be awful. [01:20:24] Speaker B: No. [01:20:27] Speaker A: This is how you do it. Cat fest, Colorado Springs. Yeah. Not catfish. Oh, yeah. Okay, so cat fest is Saturday, July 20, at ten from 10:30 a.m. To 05:00 p.m. In Colorado Springs. So if you are a cat person in Colorado Springs, come on down. It's at the end of July, so after you're getting drunk, fucking shooting off fireworks, you know, you can come in, show everyone the cool scar you got from fucking doing illegal fireworks in Colorado, and, you know, all that bullshit. Oh, I can click here for some tickets. Oh, my gosh. It's at Norris. Ugh, that's awful. [01:21:28] Speaker B: I keep debating if I want to take chai tea in for the cat show. He's got papers, so I could show. [01:21:33] Speaker A: Him, but that's it. Bye.